March 28, 2023 • 21 mins
The T-Rex has crashed over the top of the school bus, Joe has sprained his ankle and April has to stop Mr Lang from driving off before Fin is decapitated. Meanwhile Mum and Dad are breaking into a maximum security Kolectiv prison.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:07):
Hello and welcome to Bedtime Stories with me are a
sprt.
Okay, so today we are continuingto read the Pesky Kids four Near
Extinction and today we're up tochapter 16.
But before we jump into it,someone wrote in, uh, the Apple,
uh, podcast re review thing.
Uh, first of all, they, theywrote asking me a question and I
(00:29):
don't think there's any way ofme replying to reviews you've
written on Apple Podcast, so Ican't reply if you writee a
review, like you wrote a review.
It's just a review.
Uh, but they were asking me totell them to give them
instructions on how to buy, uh,one of my Nanny pigs books.
Um, but this person was inBrisbane.
Now if you are overseas, I canunderstand it.
It's a little bit morechallenging to buy my books, but
(00:52):
you can still order them onlinefrom like book Depository or
Amazon or something and they'lldeliver them anywhere in the
world.
So it's not really that hard.
Just look it up online and orderit.
Although I guess if you're a kidit may be harder to order
online.
But anyway, this kid was inBrisbane, so, uh, in Brisbane,
Australia you can go into AnnieBookshop and they will have my
books and they may not have allof my books.
(01:13):
Maybe they've just got FridayBarns or the shockingly good
stories cuz they've come outrecently.
But if you want the earlierbooks, you just have to go up to
the counter and say, can Iplease order one of, I don't
know, the Nanny pigs books orone of the pesky kids books and
they'll, they'll be able to getit in for you.
It takes about a week, maybe twoweeks at the most and they'll be
able to get it in for you andthen you can buy it and it's
(01:34):
awesome.
Books are bookshops areexcellent that way, so, uh,
they're there to help you.
Maybe you just ask, they'll canorder it in and it's always good
to support your local bookstore.
Alright?
Okay, let's just get into it andtell stories now.
Okay, so we're up to chapter 16and just say no.
The last thing that happened atthe end of chapter 15 was the
school bus that all the kidswere on at the dinosaur park.
(01:57):
They were just about to leave togo and get help.
The school bus crashed becauseTom was trying to hit April with
his cane.
Tom is vision impaired, so hehas a white cane and uh, he
accidentally hit Mr.
Lang who was driving the busacross the face and he let go of
the steering wheel and they went, uh, off the road into a big
ditch and the bus sort of, yeah,it cored outta control and
(02:19):
crash.
Okay, so that's where we'repicking up the story.
Chapter 16, what now inside thebus there were kids strewn
everywhere.
April shoved Tom Neil andMatilda off her and bounded down
the aisle making little attemptto avoid Kirin and Anish with
her feet.
Mr.
Lang was just opening theconcertina doors as April hit
(02:40):
the steps and launched herselfcatlike onto the dirt outside
the site that met her eyes wasshocking.
The T-Rex had been three timesthe height of the bus, but now
had collapsed over the top.
The T Rex's feet were a meteroff the ground and the massive
fiberglass statue, seasawprecariously in the wind at the
top end in the jaws of the giantanimatronic creature, there was
(03:03):
Finn still stuck by his head.
Although now that the dinosaurwas lined across the roof of the
bus, Finn could support some ofhis own weight by standing on
his tippy toes on the rooftop.
Are you dead?
Called April not yet cried.
Finn, his voice muffled insidethe dinosaur.
I'm actually more comfortablenow.
(03:23):
I'm getting more airflow fromthis angle.
All Sicily concerned drained outof April and she went back to
her natural default mode of painout on her brother.
You know you're a huge idiotrights at April.
I'm smaller than you said Finn.
He was two inches shorterdespite being one year older.
That's why your idiocy is somassive said April because
(03:46):
relative to your actual size,it's totally out of proportion.
Your dumbest to volume ratio isenormous.
Loretta and Joe were sprawled inthe dirt just meters from the
front wheels of the bus.
Joe had tackled Loretta knockingher out of the way as the bus
hurdled down the embankmenttowards them.
Joe was just sitting on theground apparently in shock, but
(04:06):
Loretta got to her feet andtried to brush some of the dirt
off her clothes.
She was filthy from landing hardin the dirt, then having Joe
crashed down on top of her ssorry Staed Joe.
Loretta had a huge smile on herface as she slapped the dust off
her school uniform.
Don't be, that was thrilling.
This is turning out to be thebest school excursion ever said
(04:27):
Loretta.
We never did anything thisExcitingness.
An Anthony's Joe still hadn'tgot up.
He was gritting his teeth.
Are you okay?
Asked April.
Joe never did say much, but itwasn't normal for him to sit on
the ground, clenching his teethand squinting into the middle
distance either, especially notwhen one of his siblings was
dangling precariously out of themouth of a dinosaur.
(04:49):
Joe had more maternal instinctsthan most mothers.
He was like an emu.
When the mother leaves the malesits on the eggs and looks after
the babies.
Fine said Joe.
April looked closely at Joe'sface then why are your eyes
watering?
What's wrong?
Said Loretta.
Nothing mumble Joe.
(05:10):
Stop lying.
Said April.
I sprained my ankle, said Joe.
Loretta burst out laughing.
Oh the irony.
It's delicious.
A real sprained ankle settle.
Loretta, shall I get Daisy tocome and carry you?
I'll be fine.
Said Joe.
He shifted all his weight ontohis good foot and using his
(05:31):
hands for support slowly stoodup.
He looked pale and clammy, buthe was upright.
See?
Ah-huh.
Settle.
Loretta.
Now try walking over to the busto check on thin.
Joe took one tentative step.
As soon as he moved his weightonto his bad foot, he collapsed
on the ground again.
It took all his willpower not toscream out in pain.
(05:52):
Tears were pushing up at theback of his eyes.
He could not cry in front ofLoretta Viswanathan.
He turned away from her thenrealized he was facing all the
kids on the bus.
Their faces pressed up againstthe glass.
Joe pulled his cap down over hiseyes.
So if he did accidentally let atear or two spill out, no one
could see.
April had climbed up on top ofthe bus to check on fin.
(06:12):
He looked ridiculous with hishead clamped inside the dinosaur
statue.
Tiptoeing back and forth on theroof as the dinosaur tilted in
the breeze.
April took in the side.
You know it would be so easy forme to D you right now.
She observed.
Don't do it.
Cried Finn.
Don't worry, I won't set April.
It wouldn't be sporting.
It would be like shooting fishin a tin of sardines.
(06:35):
Finn breath the sigh of relief.
He was pretty sure he waswearing his Lego undies and he
didn't want everyone in schoolto see that.
I could tickle you though, saidApril.
April please pleaded Finn.
Alright, said April.
I'll leave you alone.
I don't really need to doanything.
It's like your self tormentingat this stage.
I can just stand back and enjoythe spectacle when we get back
(06:58):
to school.
Yelled Mr.
Lang, you are all suspended.
Mr.
Lang had climbed out of the bus.
His face was red with rage.
All the kids in the school askKirin.
Isn't that just a student freeday then?
Not all the kids in the school.
You ridiculous.
Boy snapped.
Mr.
Lang, the pesky kids.
I'm suspending a lot of you.
(07:19):
You destroyed a local monumentand seriously damaged the school
bus.
You lot are a walking trainwreck.
Ever since you came to thisschool, you've wrecked
everything.
Well, that's a bit harsh AtApril, I like to think we've
added to the local color.
Yes, at fin with our big citynew roses we've made Ang more
(07:40):
cosmopolitan.
They did save the cockroachtraces, catch a runaway bear and
solve a bank robbery.
Said Loretta, I think it's veryungrateful for you to be so
critical of their fewanti-social behaviors.
They crashed a bus into a localtourist attraction.
Cried Mr.
Lang.
You were the one who crashed thebus argued April only cause you
(08:03):
hit me in the face when I wasdriving said Mr.
Lang.
No, I didn't said April.
Tom did your blaming.
The blind boy cried Mr.
Lang not blind vision impaired.
April corrected him and Tom is afar more complicated person.
You shouldn't just see him as aboy with a disability.
He's more than that.
(08:24):
He's a boy with a disability,with a violent temper,
psychopathic attitude andshameless disregard for others
when it comes to man spreading.
What's man spreading us?
Mr.
Lang?
Ask Tom said April.
He'll show you.
I'm reporting you all to theDepartment of Education, said
Mr.
Lang as he stomped back to thebus, I shouldn't have to put up
(08:45):
with this.
Prison.
Guards in maximum security haveless difficult people to deal
with.
Hey, called Finn from inside thedinosaur head.
Mr.
Lang isn't gonna start the bus,is he?
He probably just wants to getthe bus out from under the T-Rex
at April, but if he does that,said Finn, I'm gonna fall three
meters to the ground andpossibly have my head ripped off
(09:06):
by the weight of the dinosaur.
You should have thought of thatbefore you climbed up there and
stuck your head in to impress.
Loretta said April.
I was not trying to impressLoretta argued.
Finn, I was trying to establishif the statue accurately
represented the number of rearteeth in the jaw of a T-Rex
because that impresses all theladies said April.
(09:28):
The bus shook as Mr.
Lang turned over the engine.
It rumbled for a second, thendied.
Make him stop panicked.
Finn, he was only 13.
That was much too you young todie.
All the things he'd never donestarted to flash through his
eyes, drive a DeLorean, win aNobel Prize, become an
astronaut, cure cancer.
Invent a perpetual motiondevice.
(09:48):
Kiss a girl, save me.
Fine.
Fine.
Said April.
Mr.
Langton the key again and theengine rumbled.
Laboriously to life, spotted afew times, then died again.
April.
Knocked on the doors of the busand called out to the teacher.
Hey, you're not gonna driveaway, are you?
She called through the doors.
Finn's worried he is gonna die.
(10:09):
We need to get back to Keong toget help said Mr.
Lang trying the engine again.
The whole bus shook as theengine turned over but then died
again.
Yeah, well it's not gonna lookgood on your teacher's file if
he gets decapitated when youback the bus out said April,
I'll back the bus out.
Slowly said, Mr.
Lang, the dinosaur will slideoff.
A few students can support Finnso he isn't hurt in the process.
(10:31):
It'll be fine.
Yeah, and if you are wrong, mybrother will bear a striking
resemblance to Amber Lynn in afew minutes.
Said April.
I'm the adult.
I make the decision.
Snap Mr.
Lang.
He turned the key again and thistime the bus didn't rumble.
The starter motor just ticked.
He tried again and again.
There was just a ticking noise.
What is that said Mr.
(10:51):
Lang batteries flat said Neil, Iguess you don't get to make the
decisions after all.
Set.
April the electrons in the leadacid battery have made them for
you.
Okay, that's the end of chapter16.
So let's push on and readchapter 17.
Meanwhile, somewhere in easternEurope, dad and Ingrid had been
(11:13):
hiking through the woods forwhat felt like miles.
They ditched the dirt bikesliterally in a ditch backed by
the main road.
Ingrid had said they couldn'tride it too close to the prison
because there would be securitysensors buried in the forest
floor and the vibrations wouldtrip.
Dad was not having a good time.
He was not very fit.
He did do a lot of gardening,but grafting rose bushes and
(11:35):
propagating ceilings was notgreat.
Cardiovascular training.
Normally dad would enjoy beingin the woods and looking all the
plants, but it was nighttime andhe couldn't see anything.
His lungs ached and his legswere on fire.
And as much as he loved plants,he didn't love walking smack
into a low hanging tree branchor thorny bush every few paces.
(11:56):
All dad could do was follow.
Ingrid the moon was a slimcrescent.
There was barely any light atall.
He sensed her as much by hermovement as anything else.
She certainly made no noise, buthe could see the movement of
branches partying as she madeher way through the dense
undergrowth until suddenly shestopped.
We are here.
She whispered.
(12:17):
Where us dad look, Ingrid pushedaside a branch and dad could see
they were on a hilltopoverlooking a valley.
The sun was beginning to rise.
It hadn't peeped above thehorizon yet, but the sky was
growing purple.
As light started to drift upinto the sky, dad could make out
the shape of a dark squarebuilding surrounded by high
(12:37):
barbed wire fences with fourguard towers.
One at each corner.
It's a prison.
Said dad.
Ingrid nodded.
Your wife is inside.
Dad felt cold.
He tried not to think about hiswife, at least in the daytime.
He couldn't stop his brain fromhaving dreams and more often
nightmares about her at night.
He knew she was in prison, buthe hadn't thought about what
(12:59):
that meant.
She was tough.
She could handle anything.
He knew that.
But this prison looked like alot to handle.
It was worse than anything.
His imagination could haveconjured up.
He hated to think.
What sort of things went oninside such a bleak and
miserable building hidden awayin the woods, away from eyes and
oversight.
We must get inside.
Said Ingrid.
What?
(13:20):
Said dad?
He knew they were trying tobreak his wife out, but it
hadn't occurred to him that theywould have to break in.
It didn't seem very sensible.
They aren't going to let hercome out here for a nature walk.
Said Ingrid.
We have to go in and get her.
How Said dad.
It looked like an impossibletask.
We'll never get past the barbedwire.
Ingrid glanced at the building.
(13:41):
That is not a barbed wire.
It's razor wire.
Electrified razor wire.
Oh dear o, dear o dear said dad.
He started to hyperventilatethis was all too much.
They'll just lock us up too.
If they interrogate me, I won'tbe strong.
I won't be able to resist.
I haven't got it in me.
I want to do the right thing,but I'm not strong enough.
(14:02):
I'll tell them everything.
You don't know anything Ingridpointed out.
I know.
Agree dad.
But perhaps I know more than Ithink I know.
You don't said Ingrid.
I've known you for two years.
You definitely don't know morethan you think you know.
If anything, you know much less.
But will they believe that?
Ask Dad.
Perhaps I should make somethingup.
(14:23):
Am I gonna have to slap you?
Ask Ingrid.
Or can you get control of youremotions by yourself?
Dad took some steady in breaths.
I'm okay.
I think good setting Ingrid, butyou can't seriously propose us
trying to get in there.
Said dad.
It will take months to dig atunnel or arrange for a
helicopter to land in theexercise yard at the exact time
(14:46):
she was out jogging, which iswhy we will keep things simple.
Setting Ingrid.
Turning back to look at thelayout of the prison.
We will go in through the frontdoor.
What exclaim That they'll shootus as soon as we walk up the
driveway.
No set.
Ingrid.
I have made arrangements.
I had a contact acquire amilitary vehicle for us.
(15:07):
She went over to a nearby bushand pulled it aside.
It came away easily.
Apparently it wasn't a realbush, just camouflage behind.
The scrub was hidden.
A 1984 Toyota Corolla.
It was a small, underwhelminggray car.
Your contact betrayed youexclaimed dad.
That's just an old wreck.
(15:28):
Ingrid led out a sigh.
There was no point getting angrywith dad, so she calmly
explained espionage operativesalways drive cars like this.
No one suspects the most lethalgovernment agents would drive a
hatchback.
She opened the back door andtook a package off the backseat.
Take off your clothes.
Who what?
Said dad.
In the few weeks he and Ingridhad been living together.
(15:48):
He had been very careful to makesure she never got a glimpse of
him anything less than fullydressed.
In fact, he'd actually beenwearing extra clothes when she
was around, almost as if theywere a protective shield.
Ingrid threw the package to him.
Put on this uniform.
Will you turn around as dad?
Ingrid briefly consideredknocking dad out and changing
him herself.
(16:09):
She never turned her back onanyone.
She'd been trained not to whenshe attended Sweden's Elite Spy
Academy.
But turning her back on Dad waslike turning your back on an
injured kitten.
An acceptable level of risk.
She could set aside her years oftraining just this once 20
minutes later, dad was drivingthe Corolla down a fire trail
into the valley.
(16:30):
Ingrid was handcuffed to a railin the backseat.
But how do we get inside us?
Dad?
I don't speak whatever languageit is.
They speak here, it'll be est orRussian.
Said Ingrid.
The staff will be multilingual.
The collective is aninternational organization.
Well, they won't expect someonein uniform to address them in
English.
Said Dad, just don't speak, saidIngrid.
(16:51):
In your country, people talk,talk, talk so much more than is
necessary here.
No talking will be considerednormal.
As they turn the next bend inthe road.
They could see the prison upahead.
Dad started to hyperventilateagain.
I can't do this.
I can't.
Ingrid couldn't slap him becauseher hands were cuffed.
She headbutted the back of dad'sseat.
Instead, it did startle somesense into him.
(17:14):
He stopped wailing and justbreathed ridiculously quickly.
You need to focus.
Ingrid told him firmly.
Dad nodded.
He knew he had to get ittogether.
What should I focus on?
He asked the fact that I willkill you if you don't get it
together.
Sit.
Ingrid.
It had not occurred to dad thatthe collective were not the only
people who should be afraid of.
(17:34):
He should be afraid of Ingridtoo.
He struggled to make hisbreathing normal.
They were approaching the guardbooth.
What do I do?
Ask Dad.
Stop and roll down the window.
Said Ingrid.
Sit him back in the seat andassume in the role of prisoner.
Dad pulled up alongside thebooth.
A guard sat inside.
He looked very young, perhapsonly 20.
He also looked cold despite themassive gray coat and fur hat he
(17:57):
was wearing.
[inaudible] said the guard.
Dad did not know the languagethe man was speaking, but
somewhere inside his brain, heinstantly interpreted the words
as papers.
The guard were God wanted to seehis papers.
Dad patted his chest.
There were papers in the breastpocket of the uniform he was
wearing.
He hoped it wasn't a receipt fora dry cleaner.
Dad pulled them out.
(18:18):
They were written in a clicdialect.
Dad glanced at them.
The language was entirelyforeign to him, but he
understood every word.
Transportation orders forprisoner X T H.
3, 2, 9 0 4.
He handed them over to theguard.
The guard looked at them andhanded them back, said the
guard.
He pressed a button and the boomgate opened.
(18:41):
[inaudible] Said dad as he drovethe car away from the guard.
I did not know you could speakRussian and said, Ingrid.
I can't said dad.
You just said thank you andperfectly pronounced Russian.
Said Ingrid.
You even had an authentic ifiedaccent.
I did.
Said Dad.
[inaudible] said Ingrid.
Dad glanced his watch.
Oh,[inaudible] Dad suddenlyrealized what he had done.
(19:04):
Oh my gosh.
I do speak Russian.
You asked the time, didn't you?
And I said quarter to three.
Ingrid nodded.
It makes sense at Ingrid.
Your wife must have taught you.
She never gave me any lessons,said Dad.
Did she ever get you to listento audio tapes while you were
sleeping?
Asked Ingrid.
No.
Said Dad.
She never hooked you up to anydevices.
(19:25):
Asked Ingrid.
No.
Said dad.
Except I did snore.
So she found a ventilator forme.
I had to wear that at night.
You don't snore, said Ingrid.
She was brainwashing you.
Are there any other languagesyou can secretly speak?
No.
Said dad.
He was still reeling from theidea of brainwashing.
Ingrid[inaudible] said dad.
(19:48):
He clapped his hand to hismouth.
Oh my.
I had no idea.
I knew that.
What language was that?
Arabic.
Ingrid.
Your wife was a great operative.
If dad didn't feel so violated,he might have been impressed
too.
And that is the end of thechapter.
So we'll leave it there.
Until next time, goodbye.
Hello and welcome to Bedtime Stories with me are a
sprt.
Okay, so today we are continuingto read the Pesky Kids four Near
Extinction and today we're up tochapter 16.
But before we jump into it,someone wrote in, uh, the Apple,
uh, podcast re review thing.
Uh, first of all, they, theywrote asking me a question and I
(00:29):
don't think there's any way ofme replying to reviews you've
written on Apple Podcast, so Ican't reply if you writee a
review, like you wrote a review.
It's just a review.
Uh, but they were asking me totell them to give them
instructions on how to buy, uh,one of my Nanny pigs books.
Um, but this person was inBrisbane.
Now if you are overseas, I canunderstand it.
It's a little bit morechallenging to buy my books, but
(00:52):
you can still order them onlinefrom like book Depository or
Amazon or something and they'lldeliver them anywhere in the
world.
So it's not really that hard.
Just look it up online and orderit.
Although I guess if you're a kidit may be harder to order
online.
But anyway, this kid was inBrisbane, so, uh, in Brisbane,
Australia you can go into AnnieBookshop and they will have my
books and they may not have allof my books.
(01:13):
Maybe they've just got FridayBarns or the shockingly good
stories cuz they've come outrecently.
But if you want the earlierbooks, you just have to go up to
the counter and say, can Iplease order one of, I don't
know, the Nanny pigs books orone of the pesky kids books and
they'll, they'll be able to getit in for you.
It takes about a week, maybe twoweeks at the most and they'll be
able to get it in for you andthen you can buy it and it's
(01:34):
awesome.
Books are bookshops areexcellent that way, so, uh,
they're there to help you.
Maybe you just ask, they'll canorder it in and it's always good
to support your local bookstore.
Alright?
Okay, let's just get into it andtell stories now.
Okay, so we're up to chapter 16and just say no.
The last thing that happened atthe end of chapter 15 was the
school bus that all the kidswere on at the dinosaur park.
(01:57):
They were just about to leave togo and get help.
The school bus crashed becauseTom was trying to hit April with
his cane.
Tom is vision impaired, so hehas a white cane and uh, he
accidentally hit Mr.
Lang who was driving the busacross the face and he let go of
the steering wheel and they went, uh, off the road into a big
ditch and the bus sort of, yeah,it cored outta control and
(02:19):
crash.
Okay, so that's where we'repicking up the story.
Chapter 16, what now inside thebus there were kids strewn
everywhere.
April shoved Tom Neil andMatilda off her and bounded down
the aisle making little attemptto avoid Kirin and Anish with
her feet.
Mr.
Lang was just opening theconcertina doors as April hit
(02:40):
the steps and launched herselfcatlike onto the dirt outside
the site that met her eyes wasshocking.
The T-Rex had been three timesthe height of the bus, but now
had collapsed over the top.
The T Rex's feet were a meteroff the ground and the massive
fiberglass statue, seasawprecariously in the wind at the
top end in the jaws of the giantanimatronic creature, there was
(03:03):
Finn still stuck by his head.
Although now that the dinosaurwas lined across the roof of the
bus, Finn could support some ofhis own weight by standing on
his tippy toes on the rooftop.
Are you dead?
Called April not yet cried.
Finn, his voice muffled insidethe dinosaur.
I'm actually more comfortablenow.
(03:23):
I'm getting more airflow fromthis angle.
All Sicily concerned drained outof April and she went back to
her natural default mode of painout on her brother.
You know you're a huge idiotrights at April.
I'm smaller than you said Finn.
He was two inches shorterdespite being one year older.
That's why your idiocy is somassive said April because
(03:46):
relative to your actual size,it's totally out of proportion.
Your dumbest to volume ratio isenormous.
Loretta and Joe were sprawled inthe dirt just meters from the
front wheels of the bus.
Joe had tackled Loretta knockingher out of the way as the bus
hurdled down the embankmenttowards them.
Joe was just sitting on theground apparently in shock, but
(04:06):
Loretta got to her feet andtried to brush some of the dirt
off her clothes.
She was filthy from landing hardin the dirt, then having Joe
crashed down on top of her ssorry Staed Joe.
Loretta had a huge smile on herface as she slapped the dust off
her school uniform.
Don't be, that was thrilling.
This is turning out to be thebest school excursion ever said
(04:27):
Loretta.
We never did anything thisExcitingness.
An Anthony's Joe still hadn'tgot up.
He was gritting his teeth.
Are you okay?
Asked April.
Joe never did say much, but itwasn't normal for him to sit on
the ground, clenching his teethand squinting into the middle
distance either, especially notwhen one of his siblings was
dangling precariously out of themouth of a dinosaur.
(04:49):
Joe had more maternal instinctsthan most mothers.
He was like an emu.
When the mother leaves the malesits on the eggs and looks after
the babies.
Fine said Joe.
April looked closely at Joe'sface then why are your eyes
watering?
What's wrong?
Said Loretta.
Nothing mumble Joe.
(05:10):
Stop lying.
Said April.
I sprained my ankle, said Joe.
Loretta burst out laughing.
Oh the irony.
It's delicious.
A real sprained ankle settle.
Loretta, shall I get Daisy tocome and carry you?
I'll be fine.
Said Joe.
He shifted all his weight ontohis good foot and using his
(05:31):
hands for support slowly stoodup.
He looked pale and clammy, buthe was upright.
See?
Ah-huh.
Settle.
Loretta.
Now try walking over to the busto check on thin.
Joe took one tentative step.
As soon as he moved his weightonto his bad foot, he collapsed
on the ground again.
It took all his willpower not toscream out in pain.
(05:52):
Tears were pushing up at theback of his eyes.
He could not cry in front ofLoretta Viswanathan.
He turned away from her thenrealized he was facing all the
kids on the bus.
Their faces pressed up againstthe glass.
Joe pulled his cap down over hiseyes.
So if he did accidentally let atear or two spill out, no one
could see.
April had climbed up on top ofthe bus to check on fin.
(06:12):
He looked ridiculous with hishead clamped inside the dinosaur
statue.
Tiptoeing back and forth on theroof as the dinosaur tilted in
the breeze.
April took in the side.
You know it would be so easy forme to D you right now.
She observed.
Don't do it.
Cried Finn.
Don't worry, I won't set April.
It wouldn't be sporting.
It would be like shooting fishin a tin of sardines.
(06:35):
Finn breath the sigh of relief.
He was pretty sure he waswearing his Lego undies and he
didn't want everyone in schoolto see that.
I could tickle you though, saidApril.
April please pleaded Finn.
Alright, said April.
I'll leave you alone.
I don't really need to doanything.
It's like your self tormentingat this stage.
I can just stand back and enjoythe spectacle when we get back
(06:58):
to school.
Yelled Mr.
Lang, you are all suspended.
Mr.
Lang had climbed out of the bus.
His face was red with rage.
All the kids in the school askKirin.
Isn't that just a student freeday then?
Not all the kids in the school.
You ridiculous.
Boy snapped.
Mr.
Lang, the pesky kids.
I'm suspending a lot of you.
(07:19):
You destroyed a local monumentand seriously damaged the school
bus.
You lot are a walking trainwreck.
Ever since you came to thisschool, you've wrecked
everything.
Well, that's a bit harsh AtApril, I like to think we've
added to the local color.
Yes, at fin with our big citynew roses we've made Ang more
(07:40):
cosmopolitan.
They did save the cockroachtraces, catch a runaway bear and
solve a bank robbery.
Said Loretta, I think it's veryungrateful for you to be so
critical of their fewanti-social behaviors.
They crashed a bus into a localtourist attraction.
Cried Mr.
Lang.
You were the one who crashed thebus argued April only cause you
(08:03):
hit me in the face when I wasdriving said Mr.
Lang.
No, I didn't said April.
Tom did your blaming.
The blind boy cried Mr.
Lang not blind vision impaired.
April corrected him and Tom is afar more complicated person.
You shouldn't just see him as aboy with a disability.
He's more than that.
(08:24):
He's a boy with a disability,with a violent temper,
psychopathic attitude andshameless disregard for others
when it comes to man spreading.
What's man spreading us?
Mr.
Lang?
Ask Tom said April.
He'll show you.
I'm reporting you all to theDepartment of Education, said
Mr.
Lang as he stomped back to thebus, I shouldn't have to put up
(08:45):
with this.
Prison.
Guards in maximum security haveless difficult people to deal
with.
Hey, called Finn from inside thedinosaur head.
Mr.
Lang isn't gonna start the bus,is he?
He probably just wants to getthe bus out from under the T-Rex
at April, but if he does that,said Finn, I'm gonna fall three
meters to the ground andpossibly have my head ripped off
(09:06):
by the weight of the dinosaur.
You should have thought of thatbefore you climbed up there and
stuck your head in to impress.
Loretta said April.
I was not trying to impressLoretta argued.
Finn, I was trying to establishif the statue accurately
represented the number of rearteeth in the jaw of a T-Rex
because that impresses all theladies said April.
(09:28):
The bus shook as Mr.
Lang turned over the engine.
It rumbled for a second, thendied.
Make him stop panicked.
Finn, he was only 13.
That was much too you young todie.
All the things he'd never donestarted to flash through his
eyes, drive a DeLorean, win aNobel Prize, become an
astronaut, cure cancer.
Invent a perpetual motiondevice.
(09:48):
Kiss a girl, save me.
Fine.
Fine.
Said April.
Mr.
Langton the key again and theengine rumbled.
Laboriously to life, spotted afew times, then died again.
April.
Knocked on the doors of the busand called out to the teacher.
Hey, you're not gonna driveaway, are you?
She called through the doors.
Finn's worried he is gonna die.
(10:09):
We need to get back to Keong toget help said Mr.
Lang trying the engine again.
The whole bus shook as theengine turned over but then died
again.
Yeah, well it's not gonna lookgood on your teacher's file if
he gets decapitated when youback the bus out said April,
I'll back the bus out.
Slowly said, Mr.
Lang, the dinosaur will slideoff.
A few students can support Finnso he isn't hurt in the process.
(10:31):
It'll be fine.
Yeah, and if you are wrong, mybrother will bear a striking
resemblance to Amber Lynn in afew minutes.
Said April.
I'm the adult.
I make the decision.
Snap Mr.
Lang.
He turned the key again and thistime the bus didn't rumble.
The starter motor just ticked.
He tried again and again.
There was just a ticking noise.
What is that said Mr.
(10:51):
Lang batteries flat said Neil, Iguess you don't get to make the
decisions after all.
Set.
April the electrons in the leadacid battery have made them for
you.
Okay, that's the end of chapter16.
So let's push on and readchapter 17.
Meanwhile, somewhere in easternEurope, dad and Ingrid had been
(11:13):
hiking through the woods forwhat felt like miles.
They ditched the dirt bikesliterally in a ditch backed by
the main road.
Ingrid had said they couldn'tride it too close to the prison
because there would be securitysensors buried in the forest
floor and the vibrations wouldtrip.
Dad was not having a good time.
He was not very fit.
He did do a lot of gardening,but grafting rose bushes and
(11:35):
propagating ceilings was notgreat.
Cardiovascular training.
Normally dad would enjoy beingin the woods and looking all the
plants, but it was nighttime andhe couldn't see anything.
His lungs ached and his legswere on fire.
And as much as he loved plants,he didn't love walking smack
into a low hanging tree branchor thorny bush every few paces.
(11:56):
All dad could do was follow.
Ingrid the moon was a slimcrescent.
There was barely any light atall.
He sensed her as much by hermovement as anything else.
She certainly made no noise, buthe could see the movement of
branches partying as she madeher way through the dense
undergrowth until suddenly shestopped.
We are here.
She whispered.
(12:17):
Where us dad look, Ingrid pushedaside a branch and dad could see
they were on a hilltopoverlooking a valley.
The sun was beginning to rise.
It hadn't peeped above thehorizon yet, but the sky was
growing purple.
As light started to drift upinto the sky, dad could make out
the shape of a dark squarebuilding surrounded by high
(12:37):
barbed wire fences with fourguard towers.
One at each corner.
It's a prison.
Said dad.
Ingrid nodded.
Your wife is inside.
Dad felt cold.
He tried not to think about hiswife, at least in the daytime.
He couldn't stop his brain fromhaving dreams and more often
nightmares about her at night.
He knew she was in prison, buthe hadn't thought about what
(12:59):
that meant.
She was tough.
She could handle anything.
He knew that.
But this prison looked like alot to handle.
It was worse than anything.
His imagination could haveconjured up.
He hated to think.
What sort of things went oninside such a bleak and
miserable building hidden awayin the woods, away from eyes and
oversight.
We must get inside.
Said Ingrid.
What?
(13:20):
Said dad?
He knew they were trying tobreak his wife out, but it
hadn't occurred to him that theywould have to break in.
It didn't seem very sensible.
They aren't going to let hercome out here for a nature walk.
Said Ingrid.
We have to go in and get her.
How Said dad.
It looked like an impossibletask.
We'll never get past the barbedwire.
Ingrid glanced at the building.
(13:41):
That is not a barbed wire.
It's razor wire.
Electrified razor wire.
Oh dear o, dear o dear said dad.
He started to hyperventilatethis was all too much.
They'll just lock us up too.
If they interrogate me, I won'tbe strong.
I won't be able to resist.
I haven't got it in me.
I want to do the right thing,but I'm not strong enough.
(14:02):
I'll tell them everything.
You don't know anything Ingridpointed out.
I know.
Agree dad.
But perhaps I know more than Ithink I know.
You don't said Ingrid.
I've known you for two years.
You definitely don't know morethan you think you know.
If anything, you know much less.
But will they believe that?
Ask Dad.
Perhaps I should make somethingup.
(14:23):
Am I gonna have to slap you?
Ask Ingrid.
Or can you get control of youremotions by yourself?
Dad took some steady in breaths.
I'm okay.
I think good setting Ingrid, butyou can't seriously propose us
trying to get in there.
Said dad.
It will take months to dig atunnel or arrange for a
helicopter to land in theexercise yard at the exact time
(14:46):
she was out jogging, which iswhy we will keep things simple.
Setting Ingrid.
Turning back to look at thelayout of the prison.
We will go in through the frontdoor.
What exclaim That they'll shootus as soon as we walk up the
driveway.
No set.
Ingrid.
I have made arrangements.
I had a contact acquire amilitary vehicle for us.
(15:07):
She went over to a nearby bushand pulled it aside.
It came away easily.
Apparently it wasn't a realbush, just camouflage behind.
The scrub was hidden.
A 1984 Toyota Corolla.
It was a small, underwhelminggray car.
Your contact betrayed youexclaimed dad.
That's just an old wreck.
(15:28):
Ingrid led out a sigh.
There was no point getting angrywith dad, so she calmly
explained espionage operativesalways drive cars like this.
No one suspects the most lethalgovernment agents would drive a
hatchback.
She opened the back door andtook a package off the backseat.
Take off your clothes.
Who what?
Said dad.
In the few weeks he and Ingridhad been living together.
(15:48):
He had been very careful to makesure she never got a glimpse of
him anything less than fullydressed.
In fact, he'd actually beenwearing extra clothes when she
was around, almost as if theywere a protective shield.
Ingrid threw the package to him.
Put on this uniform.
Will you turn around as dad?
Ingrid briefly consideredknocking dad out and changing
him herself.
(16:09):
She never turned her back onanyone.
She'd been trained not to whenshe attended Sweden's Elite Spy
Academy.
But turning her back on Dad waslike turning your back on an
injured kitten.
An acceptable level of risk.
She could set aside her years oftraining just this once 20
minutes later, dad was drivingthe Corolla down a fire trail
into the valley.
(16:30):
Ingrid was handcuffed to a railin the backseat.
But how do we get inside us?
Dad?
I don't speak whatever languageit is.
They speak here, it'll be est orRussian.
Said Ingrid.
The staff will be multilingual.
The collective is aninternational organization.
Well, they won't expect someonein uniform to address them in
English.
Said Dad, just don't speak, saidIngrid.
(16:51):
In your country, people talk,talk, talk so much more than is
necessary here.
No talking will be considerednormal.
As they turn the next bend inthe road.
They could see the prison upahead.
Dad started to hyperventilateagain.
I can't do this.
I can't.
Ingrid couldn't slap him becauseher hands were cuffed.
She headbutted the back of dad'sseat.
Instead, it did startle somesense into him.
(17:14):
He stopped wailing and justbreathed ridiculously quickly.
You need to focus.
Ingrid told him firmly.
Dad nodded.
He knew he had to get ittogether.
What should I focus on?
He asked the fact that I willkill you if you don't get it
together.
Sit.
Ingrid.
It had not occurred to dad thatthe collective were not the only
people who should be afraid of.
(17:34):
He should be afraid of Ingridtoo.
He struggled to make hisbreathing normal.
They were approaching the guardbooth.
What do I do?
Ask Dad.
Stop and roll down the window.
Said Ingrid.
Sit him back in the seat andassume in the role of prisoner.
Dad pulled up alongside thebooth.
A guard sat inside.
He looked very young, perhapsonly 20.
He also looked cold despite themassive gray coat and fur hat he
(17:57):
was wearing.
[inaudible] said the guard.
Dad did not know the languagethe man was speaking, but
somewhere inside his brain, heinstantly interpreted the words
as papers.
The guard were God wanted to seehis papers.
Dad patted his chest.
There were papers in the breastpocket of the uniform he was
wearing.
He hoped it wasn't a receipt fora dry cleaner.
Dad pulled them out.
(18:18):
They were written in a clicdialect.
Dad glanced at them.
The language was entirelyforeign to him, but he
understood every word.
Transportation orders forprisoner X T H.
3, 2, 9 0 4.
He handed them over to theguard.
The guard looked at them andhanded them back, said the
guard.
He pressed a button and the boomgate opened.
(18:41):
[inaudible] Said dad as he drovethe car away from the guard.
I did not know you could speakRussian and said, Ingrid.
I can't said dad.
You just said thank you andperfectly pronounced Russian.
Said Ingrid.
You even had an authentic ifiedaccent.
I did.
Said Dad.
[inaudible] said Ingrid.
Dad glanced his watch.
Oh,[inaudible] Dad suddenlyrealized what he had done.
(19:04):
Oh my gosh.
I do speak Russian.
You asked the time, didn't you?
And I said quarter to three.
Ingrid nodded.
It makes sense at Ingrid.
Your wife must have taught you.
She never gave me any lessons,said Dad.
Did she ever get you to listento audio tapes while you were
sleeping?
Asked Ingrid.
No.
Said Dad.
She never hooked you up to anydevices.
(19:25):
Asked Ingrid.
No.
Said dad.
Except I did snore.
So she found a ventilator forme.
I had to wear that at night.
You don't snore, said Ingrid.
She was brainwashing you.
Are there any other languagesyou can secretly speak?
No.
Said dad.
He was still reeling from theidea of brainwashing.
Ingrid[inaudible] said dad.
(19:48):
He clapped his hand to hismouth.
Oh my.
I had no idea.
I knew that.
What language was that?
Arabic.
Ingrid.
Your wife was a great operative.
If dad didn't feel so violated,he might have been impressed
too.
And that is the end of thechapter.
So we'll leave it there.
Until next time, goodbye.
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