Fast Five #30 – Grannies, Bambi, and Secret Doors Gone Off the Rails

In our 30th Fast Five, the listeners came out SWINGING. We’ve got grannies with grenades, deer with trauma, and a secret knock that opens way more than doors. Join Jon and Harrison as they turn four wild listener-submitted beers (plus one mystery pick from Harrison) into the kind of movie ideas that should absolutely not be greenlit — but we’ll try anyway.

🍺 The Beers & The Madness:

•Bambi’s Revenge (Submitted by Greg) — A genetically enhanced deer leads a woodland militia against mankind in a post-apocalyptic eco-war.

•Too Kind (Submitted by Brian) — In a town where niceness is mandatory, one man resists… and ends up on the wrong side of the casserole cartel.

•Secret Knock (Submitted by Lance) — A haunted basement door, a forbidden rhythm, and a town full of cultists who really like… knocking.

•Grannies Gone Wild (Submitted by Rhett) — When a retirement home is gentrified by tech bros, four grannies go full vigilante and livestream the revolution.

•Untappd Find... Tune in to find out what makes the fifth beer totally unhinged, or even a prequel for a previous film idea.

Like what you hear? You might need help.

📲 GO VOTE for your favorite pitch on Instagram @beermethatmovie and help decide which of these gets the Feature Film treatment.

🔗 Stay Weird With Us:

•Voicemail: speakpipe.com/beermethatmovie

•Untappd: untappd.com/user/BeerMeThatMovie

•Instagram / TikTok / Bluesky: @beermethatmovie

•Website: beermethatmovie.com

00:00:00 - Intro

00:01:45 - Recap: Giggle Water

00:11:35 - BOTW: Dive Beer

00:18:31 - Beer 1: Bambi’s Revenge

00:30:15 - Beer 2: Too Kind

00:42:08 - Beer 3: Secret Knock

00:50:38 - Beer 4: Grannies Gone Wild

00:57:35 - Beer 5: Frost Hammer

01:03:15 - Deciding on the Vote

01:06:35 - Outtakes