Episode 71: Behind The Contraints That Influence Our Listening & Speaking

In this episode, we explore the three powerful constraints that shape every conversation we have: the neurological, the social, and the individual. I’ll walk you through how each constraint functions, why they matter, and how recognizing them can transform everyday communication. If you’ve ever struggled to feel heard or misunderstood by others, this conversation will give you the insight and tools to shift those patterns for yourself, your relationships, and your leadership. 

 

Key Takeaways:  

Filters Shape the Way We Communicate - Every conversation runs through filters, how we hear, see, and process what’s happening. Understanding these filters helps us become more aware of how we respond and how others might be experiencing the same moment differently. 

 

Neurological Constraint: What Our Bodies Can Sense - Our senses have limits. We only hear, see, or feel what our nervous system allows. Just because something isn’t noticed doesn’t mean it isn’t there. This helps us stay compassionate when someone misses something we find obvious. 

 

Social Constraint: What We Were Taught Growing Up - Our social environments teach us rules—some spoken, some unspoken. These shape how we interact. When we step into new spaces, these old patterns can limit us unless we choose to grow past them. 

 

Individual Constraint: What We’ve Personally Lived - No two people experience life the same way. Even when we share a moment, we bring different memories, histories, and emotions. Recognizing this can help us stop expecting people to “just get it.” 

 

Helpful Resource:  

• Misunderstanding Comes from Unseen Limits - Most conflict doesn’t come from bad intentions—it comes from invisible limits. Being unaware of our own or others’ filters can lead to assumptions, miscommunication, or tension. 

• Conscious Communication Builds Bridges - When we pause to ask, clarify, and really listen, we open up space for better conversations. This level of communication helps us resolve conflict, reduce misunderstandings, and build stronger trust. 

• Practice Naming Your Filters in Real Time - Start noticing your own reactions. Say to yourself—or even out loud—what’s coming up: “This feels like a survival response,” or “I’m reacting based on my past.” Naming it gives you power to choose a better path forward. 

 

Notable Highlights: 

“If we're going to expand our capacity to be flexible in our communication, we need to understand the mechanism that goes on so that we can interrupt it.” 

“Sometimes error in communication is due to lack of awareness, and sometimes it’s due to lack of access to our internal resources at the time.” 

 

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Hosted by: Dr. Maiysha Clairborne 

Communication is the foundation of everything and everything happens in communication. If you’re ready to take your communication to the next level, our Communication That Transforms course dives deep into creating psychological safety, handling crucial conversations, navigating conflict, and cultivating trust in a way that truly leaves the people in your life feeling seen, heard, respected and valued. It will transform how you lead and how you show up in all of your relationships. Learn more and register at www.mindremappingacademy.com/ticc. If you are a leader and your employees or teams are struggling with team dynamics, consider taking them through our new “Communications That Transforms” group cohort. 

 

See the full course breakdown and get a free preview of key modules to experience the value. Go to https://mindremappingacademy.com/course-catalogue and schedule a call with Dr. Clairborne at www.mindremappingacademy.com/corporate-programs