November 10, 2025 • 26 mins
Have you ever dealt with someone who twists every story, demands control, and always plays the victim? The world calls it narcissism, but the Bible calls it pride — and it’s a spiritual battle that’s destroying hearts, homes, and churches.
In this powerful episode of Behind The Mike Podcast, Mike Stone uncovers the spirit of narcissism that’s taken root in our culture — and contrasts it with the Spirit of Christ, who calls us to humility, grace, and truth.
You’ll learn:
⚔️ The biblical origins of narcissism (Isaiah 14, Genesis 3, and 2 Timothy 3)
💔 How pride destroys relationships and isolates hearts
💡 The difference between healthy boundaries and self-worship
❤️🔥 How to walk in humility and freedom through Jesus Christ
If you’ve been wounded by manipulation, control, or gaslighting — or if you’ve seen pride creeping into your own heart — this message will speak directly to you.
✝️ “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” — James 4:6
#BehindTheMikePodcast #ChristianPodcast #MikeStone #Narcissism #Pride #Humility #Jesus #Faith #BibleTeaching #ChristianLiving #Gaslighting #ToxicPeople #Healing #Grace #Truth #FreedomInChrist #ChristianEncouragement #SpiritualWarfare
Chapters / Timestamps:
00:00 – The rise of narcissism and self-worship
01:44 – How the Bible defines pride and control
03:29 – The pain of manipulation and gaslighting
04:00 – What Scripture says about narcissism (2 Timothy 3)
06:00 – Lucifer’s fall: the origin of pride
08:17 – The Spirit of Christ vs. the spirit of self
10:36 – Humility is warfare, not weakness
11:41 – Narcissism in relationships and the cost of control
14:30 – Finding healing and freedom through surrender
17:00 – Let God defend you
18:20 – Guarding your heart from becoming what hurt you
19:40 – Walking in grace and truth
20:47 – Setting healthy boundaries
22:00 – A prayer for humility and restoration
23:00 – Surrendering pride and finding freedom in Christ
25:00 – Final encouragement: Walk humbly with your God
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Hey friends, have you everdealt with someone who could
twist every storyto make themselves the victim
who craved control,demanded loyalty, and turned
every good thingback toward themselves?
The world calls it narcissism.
The Bible calls it pride.
And it's far more dangerousthan you might think.
(00:23):
Today on Behindthe Mike Podcast,
we're going to talkabout the spirit of narcissism
and how it wages waragainst the Spirit of Christ,
because this battleisn't just there,
it's inside all of us.
So stick around.
(00:47):
Hey friends, welcome backto Behind the Mike Podcast
with Mike Stone.
Today's episode is onethat I've been wanting
to talk about for a long time,and it's not easy,
but it's necessarybecause I think so many of us
are walking through lifewith people
who manipulate, gaslightor control.
And we're left wondering,what does God say about that?
(01:10):
And maybe even deeper.
What does God want to show methrough that?
You've probably heard the wordnarcissist tossed around
a lot lately.
It's become almost trendy.
But the truth is, the Biblehas been talking about
this kind of personfor thousands of years,
just under a different name.
(01:32):
The proud, the haughty,the self exalting.
And if we're honest, prideisn't just something they have,
it's something that we allhave to guard against.
Let's start off with theculture of self.
We live in a worldthat practically
worships the self.
Everywhere you look, it'sbelieve in yourself.
(01:52):
Put yourself first.
You deserve better.
And don't get me wrong,there's nothing wrong
with healthy confidenceor boundaries.
But somewhere along the line,the self-help movement
turned into the selfworship movement.
And that's wherenarcissism begins.
(02:13):
When self becomesthe God of the heart.
Proverbs
16 (02:18):
18 says, pride goes before destruction and a haughty spirit
before a fall.
It doesn't say sometimes.
It's basically saying alwaysbecause pride always
has a crash coming.
It's inevitable.
I've seen it in my life.
(02:39):
I've lived near it.
Without going into details.
I've had a situation for yearsthat's tested
every ounce of patienceand grace that I've got someone
who always had to be in control,someone always had to win,
always had tohave the last word.
And every timeI tried to make peace,
(03:00):
it turned into another battle.
I'd leaveconversations wondering
how did this become my fault?
That's gaslighting.
When the truth gets twisted,until you start to doubt
your own reality.
And if you've dealtwith that before, you know
the emotional exhaustionthat it brings.
(03:21):
It's like walking on eggshells,trying to avoid landmines
that shouldn't be therein the first place.
But here's what Iwant you to hear.
God sees that he knows the tollthat it takes on your heart,
and he's not silent about it.
So what does the Bible sayabout narcissism,
(03:43):
even if it doesn'tuse that word?
Well, in 2 Timothy
3 (03:47):
1-5, Paul gives us this chilling
description of whatpeople will look like
in the last days.
It says, but mark this,there will be terrible
times in the last days.
People will be loversof themselves, lovers of money,
boastful, proud,abusive, disobedient
(04:07):
to their parents,ungrateful, unholy,
without love,unforgiving, slanderous,
without self-control, brutal,not lovers of the good,
treacherous, rash, conceited,lovers of pleasure
rather than lovers of God.
Having a form of godlinessbut denying its power.
Have nothing to dowith such people.
(04:29):
Wow, that list sounds likeit was written
for culture today.
Lovers of themselves.
That's narcissism in one phrase.
Having a form of godlinessbut denying its power.
That's thespiritual version of it.
People who wear religionlike a costume
to hide their pride.
Jesus saw it.
(04:51):
He saw it in the Phariseesand Matthew 23.
He said, everything they dois done for people to see.
They make their factories wideand the tassels
on their garments long.
They love the place of honorat banquets and the most
important seatsin the synagogues.
(05:12):
He wasn't just calling outreligious hypocrisy.
He was describing the originalnarcissistic personality,
image obsessed,attention hungry, status
driven and manipulative.
Under the surface.
It's sobering to realizethat pride
didn't start on Earth.
(05:32):
It started in heaven.
Isaiah 14 gives us a windowinto the fall of Lucifer.
We talked about thisin a previous episode.
Lucifer became Satan.
Listen to this. It says,you said in your heart I
will ascend to the heavens.
I will raise my throneabove the stars of God.
(05:53):
I will sit enthronedon the mount of assembly.
On the utmost heightsof Mount Zaphon
I will ascend abovethe tops of the clouds.
I will make myselflike the Most High.
Isaiah 14 (06:04):
13-14.
Five times Lucifer says, I will,I will ascend.
I will rise, I will sit,I will ascend above.
I will make myself.
That is the heartbeatof narcissism.
I will verse 15 flips.
It says,but you are brought down
(06:25):
to the realm of the dead,to the depths of the pit.
The Hebrew word for pride here.
And I'm a butcher.
It is God of war,which literally means
arrogance, swelling,or happiness.
It paints the picture of someonepuffed up, inflated
with their ownimportance until God
(06:45):
pops the bubble.
And if thatsounds harsh, remember,
pride isn't justan attitude problem.
It's a worship problemthat dethrone God and puts me
at the center.
So when we talk aboutnarcissism,
we're not just talking about apersonality trait
or a mental diagnosis.
(07:06):
We're talking abouta spiritual posture that says,
I'm the centerof my own universe.
And that's exactly whatSatan whispered to Eve
in Genesis 3 (07:17):
5, where it says, you will certainly not die.
The serpent said to the woman,For God knows that when
you eat from it, your eyeswill be opened, and you will be
like God, knowing good and evil.
That's it.
You will be like God.
(07:38):
The same lie, the same spirit.
So when I see pride rearsits head in people, in culture,
even in myself, I try to remindmyself that this isn't just
bad behavior, it'sspiritual rebellion.
It's the oldestsin that there is.
(07:58):
And if left unchecked,it always destroys
what it touches marriages,friendships, churches,
communities.
Because pride isolates.
It can't love fully.
It can't listen humbly, and itcan't admit when it's wrong.
And yet Jesusshows us another way.
(08:22):
So let's talk about the Spiritof Christ.
When we talk aboutthe Spirit of Christ,
we're talking about the exactopposite of what
we've just described.
So we're narcissismsays, exalt yourself.
Jesus says, deny yourself.
Where pride says, serve me.
(08:42):
Jesus says, I came to serve.
Matthew 20 (08:46):
28 tells us plainly, The Son of Man did not come
to be served, but to serve,and to give his life
as a ransom for many.
You know that singlesentence destroys the foundation
of narcissismbecause it shows power
wrapped in humility.
(09:06):
It shows authority expressedthrough sacrifice.
Now, the Greek wordused for humble
in Philippians 2 (09:13):
8 is and I'll butcher it
again. Tap inio.
It means to make low,to bring down
one's self-importance.
And that's the heartbeatof Jesus.
Let's read that together.
Philippians 2 (09:26):
8.
And being foundin appearance as a man,
he humbled himselfby becoming obedient to death,
even death on a cross.
That is the Spirit of Christ.
He had every rightto demand worship.
Yet he chose the cross.
(09:48):
Years ago, I remembertrying to reason with someone
who could never admit wrongno matter what happened.
Somehow they were alwaysthe misunderstood
one, the victim, the heroof their own story.
And I remember praying,God, how do I deal with this
without becoming bitter?
(10:09):
That's easy to do.
And what I felt Godwhispering back to me
was convicting.
I felt like he was saying,and even through
his words, saying, let me fightyour battles and you focus
and fight to stay humble.
That is not easy.
When someone gaslights you ortwist truth, everything in
(10:32):
you wants to defend yourself,to prove your innocence.
But humility doesn'tmean silence.
It means restraint.
It means lettingtruth speak for itself,
even when the lies are louder.
James 4 (10:47):
6 says, God opposes the proud,
but shows favor to the humble.
Another Greek word for you,the word opposes is anti taso,
which means military.
It's a military term meaning torage in battle. Against.
Think about thatwhen we walk in pride.
(11:08):
God literally lines upin opposition to us.
But when we walk in humility,heaven lines up for us.
So when pride triesto take over,
humility isn't weakness,it's warfare.
Let's talk about whatnarcissism actually does
to relationships.
(11:28):
It divides.
It manipulates.
It drains the oxygenout of love.
Maybe you've been therewith a family member, a boss,
maybe even someonein your church.
You start thinking, well, maybeif I just try harder.
They'll finally see me.
(11:49):
But you can't win a gamethat's rigged
to feed someone's ego.
And that's why Jesus warned
in Luke 14 (11:56):
11, which says, for all who exalt themselves
will be humbled, and those whohumble themselves
will be exalted.
If you've ever been hurtby a narcissistic
person, hear me.
That's not God's designfor love.
(12:16):
Love isn't control.
Love isn't manipulation.
Love doesn't twist the truthto protect an image.
A great passageof scripture about love.
True love is the oneyou've probably heard before.
And for first Corinthians
13 (12:31):
4-6, it says it so clearly.
Love is patient.
Love is kind.
It does not envy.
It does not boast.
It is not proud.
It does not dishonor others.
It is not self-seeking.
It is not easily angered,and it keeps no records
of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil,but rejoices with the truth.
(12:54):
It can't fake that kind of lovebecause real love has no room
for self worship.
We try to look to Jesusfor our example.
So, when Jesus walked the earth,he faced narcissistic behavior
on every side.
Religious leaderstried to trap him
with their questions,to embarrass him publicly,
(13:17):
to test his loyalty to the law.
We know Pilate tried to bait himinto defending himself.
And even Judas, one of his own,betrayed him for personal gain.
Yet Jesus never mirroredtheir pride.
He never stoopedto their manipulation.
He stood in truth.
(13:38):
He spoke with authority.
And he let his humilitybe his defense.
First Peter 2 (13:44):
23 says, when they hurled
their insults at him,he did not retaliate.
When he suffered,he made no threats.
Instead, he entrusted himselfto him who judges justly.
That verse has carried methrough some long days
(14:05):
and long nights,when it felt like,
no matter how graciousI tried to be,
it was never enough.
Jesus didn't fight forhis reputation.
He trusted the father with it.
And sometimes that's whatreal strength looks like.
So practically, if you've everbeen wounded
by someone like thisand maybe you're still
(14:27):
carrying those scars,like, like I do.
Hear me clearly.
God knows the truth.
Even when othersrewrite the story.
Psalm 34 (14:39):
18 says, the Lord is close
to the brokenhearted and savesthose who are crushed
in spirits.
That's for you.
The Hebrew wordfor crushed is the car.
It literally means tobe shattered into fine dust.
If you're feeling shattered,God specializes in gathering
(15:03):
those pieces.
He's not just your defender.
He's your healer.
He can teach youhow to set boundaries
without building walls.
He can help you forgivewithout excusing sin.
And he can restore your peace.
The kind that no manipulationcan steal away.
(15:25):
I want to wrap this upby talking about freedom
and how to walkin the Spirit of Christ,
when pride is all around you,and how to guard your own heart
from becoming what hurt you.
So what do you dowhen you've been
(15:45):
burned by pride?
When the lies have spread,the story has been twisted
and you feel stuck somewherebetween anger
and sheer exhaustion.
The temptation is to fight back.
Now, I've done that the same waythat you were hurt by pride.
I've done that to match pridewith pride.
(16:08):
To control what you can't fix.
But the Spirit of Christinvites us to something radical.
Freedom through surrender.
Galatians five one says,it is for freedom
that Christ has set usfree. Stand firm then
do not let yourselvesbe burdened again
by a yoke of slavery.
(16:31):
My friends, pride is a yoke.
Control is a yoke.
They weigh you downuntil you can't breathe.
Jesus breaks that yokenot by overpowering it,
but by out loving it.
So first of all,let God defend you.
(16:51):
There were nightswhen I would just
replay conversationsover and over in my head,
trying to craftthe perfect comeback.
You ever do that?
Then one day as I was praying,I sensed God speaking to me.
You can spendyour energy proving you're right
(17:12):
or you can spend itbecoming more like me.
Pretty simple.
I cut deep because sometimeswe want justice
more than we want Jesus.
Romans 12 (17:23):
19 says, very important,
do not take revenge,my dear friends, but leave room
for God's wrath, forit is written.
It is mine to avenge.
I will repay, says the Lord.
God's justice may moveslower than what we want,
slower than our emotions.
(17:44):
But it's always perfect.
And letting him defendyou doesn't make you weak.
It makes you free.
Secondly, guard your heartfrom becoming what hurt you.
What I mean is,if we're not careful,
prolonged pain can kind of morphinto pride of our own.
(18:08):
We start thinking.
I'd never treat people that way.
And pride creepsin through the back door.
Philippians 2 (18:15):
3-4 can keep us anchored.
It says do nothing out ofselfish ambition
or vain conceit.
Rather, in humility,value others above yourself,
not looking toyour own interests,
but each of you to the interestsof others.
(18:37):
The Greek phrasefor selfish ambition
there is a riskier.
It literally meansa spirit of rivalry.
So when we let hurtHarden into rivalry,
we start competingwith the very people that God
called us to love.
So the prayer then becomes,Lord, heal me.
(18:58):
So I don't mirrorthat same pride that wounded me.
Third.
Walking in truth and grace.
John 1 (19:09):
14 says, The Word became flesh and dwelt among us.
We have seen his glory,the glory of the one
and only son, who camefrom the father,
full of grace and truth.
Grace and truth.
Not without compassionand not grace.
(19:31):
Without boundaries.
The balance is what exposesnarcissism and heals
its victims.
Truth saysthis behavior is wrong.
And Grace says,but you're still loved together.
They say there's a better way.
(19:51):
Come and follow Jesus.
Number four when youneed boundaries,
sometimes loving likeJesus means stepping back.
Even Jesus withdrew from peoplewho wanted to kill him
and his missionbefore it was time.
Mark 1 (20:09):
35, says he often went to solitary places to pray.
So boundaries aren't walls.
They're just wisdom.
They protect peaceso you can keep loving
from a place of wholenessand not weariness.
That's importantif you need permission
(20:29):
to rest, to step away, to stopexplaining yourself
over and over, you have it.
God doesn't call you to besomeone else's
emotional punching bag.
He calls you to be light.
And sometimes light shines bestwhen it's no longer trapped
in someone else's storm.
You know, every morningwe choose
(20:51):
whose image will reflectthroughout the day.
The image of selfor the image of Christ.
And that'snot a one time decision.
We've talked about this before.
It's daily surrender.
Jesus said in Luke 9 (21:07):
23, whoever wants to be my disciple
must deny themselvesand take up their cross daily
and follow me daily,because pride keep
knocking every morningwhispering protect your image.
But the cross answersdie to your image
(21:29):
and live for mine.
Humility doesn't mean thinkingless of yourself.
It means thinkingof yourself less.
It means living in such a waythat when people see you,
they glimpseat the heart of Jesus,
not the shadow of self.
So before we close,I want to ask you something that
(21:51):
only you can answer.
Is there any part of your heartthat's become hard from pride,
from pain, or from control?
Maybe you've been the onewho's been
wounded by narcissism.
Or maybe if you're honest,you've seen bits of that
in yourself.
(22:12):
Either way, Grace is here.
God never exposes prideto shame us.
He exposes it to free us.
One of my favorite chaptersin the Bible, Psalm
139, verses 23 and 24is my prayer today.
And it says, search me, O God,and know my heart.
(22:34):
Test me and knowmy anxious thoughts.
See if there'sany offensive way in me.
And lead me in the way.
Everlasting.
That is a brave prayer.
And it's also the onethat leads us to peace.
So maybe as you've listened,you've realized something deeper
(22:56):
that pride has kept youat a distance from God himself.
You've been trying torun your own life.
Call your own shots.
Be your own savior, my friend.
That's what sin is.
It's putting yourselfwhere only God belongs.
But here's the good news.
(23:17):
Jesus humbled himselfso you could be lifted up.
He took every ounce of your sinand my sin, including our pride.
And he nailed it to the cross.
Three days later, he rose againso we could walk in freedom
and not shame.
(23:38):
So Romans ten ninedeclares it very simply
if you declare with your mouth,Jesus is Lord, and you believe
in your heartthat God raised him
from the dead,you will be saved.
That's it.
It's not religion.
It's not performance.
It's not image.
(23:58):
Just surrender.
If you've never madethat decision, you can do that
right now.
Wherever you are,don't repeat it.
Say something like thisfrom the heart.
Lord Jesus, I admitI've tried to run my own life.
I've let pride sit on the throneof my heart.
(24:19):
Today I surrender.
I believe you diedfor me and rose again.
Forgive me and fill mewith your spirit.
Teach me to walkin the way of humility
and truth.
I belong to you.
Amen.
If you prayed that prayer.
Welcome to freedom.
(24:39):
You just traded self-rulefor the Savior's reign.
And there's no better exchange.
Maybe you're still in the middleof a hard situation dealing with
manipulation, gaslighting,and control.
I'm there.
(25:00):
Hold on to this.
You don't need to winevery argument.
You just need tokeep your integrity.
You don't need toprove your worth.
Jesus already didthat on the cross.
You don't needeveryone's approval.
You already have God's.
Another one of my favorite verseverses in the Bible
sums it up perfectly.
It's Micah 6 (25:19):
8 and it says, he has shown you all mortal
what is good and what does Godrequire of you to act justly,
to love mercy,and to walk humbly
with your God?
That's our callingto walk humbly.
(25:40):
And when we do, even in a pridefilled world, people will
see something different in us.
Not the spirit of narcissism,but the Spirit of Christ.
Hey, thanks for joining me todayon Behind the Mike Podcast.
If if this episodeencouraged you, please share it
with someone who needs hopeor healing.
And remember,truth still stands.
(26:02):
Love still wins and gracestill changes everything.
Hey, if you're not subscribedto this YouTube channel
or to this audiopodcast, please click
the subscribe buttonand the notification
button on YouTube.
And please clickthe subscribe button
on your favorite podcast app.
(26:23):
Thanks again for joining us.
I'm Mike Stone.
We'll see you next timeon Behind the Mike Podcast.
Keep you.
Hey friends, have you everdealt with someone who could
twist every storyto make themselves the victim
who craved control,demanded loyalty, and turned
every good thingback toward themselves?
The world calls it narcissism.
The Bible calls it pride.
And it's far more dangerousthan you might think.
(00:23):
Today on Behindthe Mike Podcast,
we're going to talkabout the spirit of narcissism
and how it wages waragainst the Spirit of Christ,
because this battleisn't just there,
it's inside all of us.
So stick around.
(00:47):
Hey friends, welcome backto Behind the Mike Podcast
with Mike Stone.
Today's episode is onethat I've been wanting
to talk about for a long time,and it's not easy,
but it's necessarybecause I think so many of us
are walking through lifewith people
who manipulate, gaslightor control.
And we're left wondering,what does God say about that?
(01:10):
And maybe even deeper.
What does God want to show methrough that?
You've probably heard the wordnarcissist tossed around
a lot lately.
It's become almost trendy.
But the truth is, the Biblehas been talking about
this kind of personfor thousands of years,
just under a different name.
(01:32):
The proud, the haughty,the self exalting.
And if we're honest, prideisn't just something they have,
it's something that we allhave to guard against.
Let's start off with theculture of self.
We live in a worldthat practically
worships the self.
Everywhere you look, it'sbelieve in yourself.
(01:52):
Put yourself first.
You deserve better.
And don't get me wrong,there's nothing wrong
with healthy confidenceor boundaries.
But somewhere along the line,the self-help movement
turned into the selfworship movement.
And that's wherenarcissism begins.
(02:13):
When self becomesthe God of the heart.
Proverbs
16 (02:18):
18 says, pride goes before destruction and a haughty spirit
before a fall.
It doesn't say sometimes.
It's basically saying alwaysbecause pride always
has a crash coming.
It's inevitable.
I've seen it in my life.
(02:39):
I've lived near it.
Without going into details.
I've had a situation for yearsthat's tested
every ounce of patienceand grace that I've got someone
who always had to be in control,someone always had to win,
always had tohave the last word.
And every timeI tried to make peace,
(03:00):
it turned into another battle.
I'd leaveconversations wondering
how did this become my fault?
That's gaslighting.
When the truth gets twisted,until you start to doubt
your own reality.
And if you've dealtwith that before, you know
the emotional exhaustionthat it brings.
(03:21):
It's like walking on eggshells,trying to avoid landmines
that shouldn't be therein the first place.
But here's what Iwant you to hear.
God sees that he knows the tollthat it takes on your heart,
and he's not silent about it.
So what does the Bible sayabout narcissism,
(03:43):
even if it doesn'tuse that word?
Well, in 2 Timothy
3 (03:47):
1-5, Paul gives us this chilling
description of whatpeople will look like
in the last days.
It says, but mark this,there will be terrible
times in the last days.
People will be loversof themselves, lovers of money,
boastful, proud,abusive, disobedient
(04:07):
to their parents,ungrateful, unholy,
without love,unforgiving, slanderous,
without self-control, brutal,not lovers of the good,
treacherous, rash, conceited,lovers of pleasure
rather than lovers of God.
Having a form of godlinessbut denying its power.
Have nothing to dowith such people.
(04:29):
Wow, that list sounds likeit was written
for culture today.
Lovers of themselves.
That's narcissism in one phrase.
Having a form of godlinessbut denying its power.
That's thespiritual version of it.
People who wear religionlike a costume
to hide their pride.
Jesus saw it.
(04:51):
He saw it in the Phariseesand Matthew 23.
He said, everything they dois done for people to see.
They make their factories wideand the tassels
on their garments long.
They love the place of honorat banquets and the most
important seatsin the synagogues.
(05:12):
He wasn't just calling outreligious hypocrisy.
He was describing the originalnarcissistic personality,
image obsessed,attention hungry, status
driven and manipulative.
Under the surface.
It's sobering to realizethat pride
didn't start on Earth.
(05:32):
It started in heaven.
Isaiah 14 gives us a windowinto the fall of Lucifer.
We talked about thisin a previous episode.
Lucifer became Satan.
Listen to this. It says,you said in your heart I
will ascend to the heavens.
I will raise my throneabove the stars of God.
(05:53):
I will sit enthronedon the mount of assembly.
On the utmost heightsof Mount Zaphon
I will ascend abovethe tops of the clouds.
I will make myselflike the Most High.
Isaiah 14 (06:04):
13-14.
Five times Lucifer says, I will,I will ascend.
I will rise, I will sit,I will ascend above.
I will make myself.
That is the heartbeatof narcissism.
I will verse 15 flips.
It says,but you are brought down
(06:25):
to the realm of the dead,to the depths of the pit.
The Hebrew word for pride here.
And I'm a butcher.
It is God of war,which literally means
arrogance, swelling,or happiness.
It paints the picture of someonepuffed up, inflated
with their ownimportance until God
(06:45):
pops the bubble.
And if thatsounds harsh, remember,
pride isn't justan attitude problem.
It's a worship problemthat dethrone God and puts me
at the center.
So when we talk aboutnarcissism,
we're not just talking about apersonality trait
or a mental diagnosis.
(07:06):
We're talking abouta spiritual posture that says,
I'm the centerof my own universe.
And that's exactly whatSatan whispered to Eve
in Genesis 3 (07:17):
5, where it says, you will certainly not die.
The serpent said to the woman,For God knows that when
you eat from it, your eyeswill be opened, and you will be
like God, knowing good and evil.
That's it.
You will be like God.
(07:38):
The same lie, the same spirit.
So when I see pride rearsits head in people, in culture,
even in myself, I try to remindmyself that this isn't just
bad behavior, it'sspiritual rebellion.
It's the oldestsin that there is.
(07:58):
And if left unchecked,it always destroys
what it touches marriages,friendships, churches,
communities.
Because pride isolates.
It can't love fully.
It can't listen humbly, and itcan't admit when it's wrong.
And yet Jesusshows us another way.
(08:22):
So let's talk about the Spiritof Christ.
When we talk aboutthe Spirit of Christ,
we're talking about the exactopposite of what
we've just described.
So we're narcissismsays, exalt yourself.
Jesus says, deny yourself.
Where pride says, serve me.
(08:42):
Jesus says, I came to serve.
Matthew 20 (08:46):
28 tells us plainly, The Son of Man did not come
to be served, but to serve,and to give his life
as a ransom for many.
You know that singlesentence destroys the foundation
of narcissismbecause it shows power
wrapped in humility.
(09:06):
It shows authority expressedthrough sacrifice.
Now, the Greek wordused for humble
in Philippians 2 (09:13):
8 is and I'll butcher it
again. Tap inio.
It means to make low,to bring down
one's self-importance.
And that's the heartbeatof Jesus.
Let's read that together.
Philippians 2 (09:26):
8.
And being foundin appearance as a man,
he humbled himselfby becoming obedient to death,
even death on a cross.
That is the Spirit of Christ.
He had every rightto demand worship.
Yet he chose the cross.
(09:48):
Years ago, I remembertrying to reason with someone
who could never admit wrongno matter what happened.
Somehow they were alwaysthe misunderstood
one, the victim, the heroof their own story.
And I remember praying,God, how do I deal with this
without becoming bitter?
(10:09):
That's easy to do.
And what I felt Godwhispering back to me
was convicting.
I felt like he was saying,and even through
his words, saying, let me fightyour battles and you focus
and fight to stay humble.
That is not easy.
When someone gaslights you ortwist truth, everything in
(10:32):
you wants to defend yourself,to prove your innocence.
But humility doesn'tmean silence.
It means restraint.
It means lettingtruth speak for itself,
even when the lies are louder.
James 4 (10:47):
6 says, God opposes the proud,
but shows favor to the humble.
Another Greek word for you,the word opposes is anti taso,
which means military.
It's a military term meaning torage in battle. Against.
Think about thatwhen we walk in pride.
(11:08):
God literally lines upin opposition to us.
But when we walk in humility,heaven lines up for us.
So when pride triesto take over,
humility isn't weakness,it's warfare.
Let's talk about whatnarcissism actually does
to relationships.
(11:28):
It divides.
It manipulates.
It drains the oxygenout of love.
Maybe you've been therewith a family member, a boss,
maybe even someonein your church.
You start thinking, well, maybeif I just try harder.
They'll finally see me.
(11:49):
But you can't win a gamethat's rigged
to feed someone's ego.
And that's why Jesus warned
in Luke 14 (11:56):
11, which says, for all who exalt themselves
will be humbled, and those whohumble themselves
will be exalted.
If you've ever been hurtby a narcissistic
person, hear me.
That's not God's designfor love.
(12:16):
Love isn't control.
Love isn't manipulation.
Love doesn't twist the truthto protect an image.
A great passageof scripture about love.
True love is the oneyou've probably heard before.
And for first Corinthians
13 (12:31):
4-6, it says it so clearly.
Love is patient.
Love is kind.
It does not envy.
It does not boast.
It is not proud.
It does not dishonor others.
It is not self-seeking.
It is not easily angered,and it keeps no records
of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil,but rejoices with the truth.
(12:54):
It can't fake that kind of lovebecause real love has no room
for self worship.
We try to look to Jesusfor our example.
So, when Jesus walked the earth,he faced narcissistic behavior
on every side.
Religious leaderstried to trap him
with their questions,to embarrass him publicly,
(13:17):
to test his loyalty to the law.
We know Pilate tried to bait himinto defending himself.
And even Judas, one of his own,betrayed him for personal gain.
Yet Jesus never mirroredtheir pride.
He never stoopedto their manipulation.
He stood in truth.
(13:38):
He spoke with authority.
And he let his humilitybe his defense.
First Peter 2 (13:44):
23 says, when they hurled
their insults at him,he did not retaliate.
When he suffered,he made no threats.
Instead, he entrusted himselfto him who judges justly.
That verse has carried methrough some long days
(14:05):
and long nights,when it felt like,
no matter how graciousI tried to be,
it was never enough.
Jesus didn't fight forhis reputation.
He trusted the father with it.
And sometimes that's whatreal strength looks like.
So practically, if you've everbeen wounded
by someone like thisand maybe you're still
(14:27):
carrying those scars,like, like I do.
Hear me clearly.
God knows the truth.
Even when othersrewrite the story.
Psalm 34 (14:39):
18 says, the Lord is close
to the brokenhearted and savesthose who are crushed
in spirits.
That's for you.
The Hebrew wordfor crushed is the car.
It literally means tobe shattered into fine dust.
If you're feeling shattered,God specializes in gathering
(15:03):
those pieces.
He's not just your defender.
He's your healer.
He can teach youhow to set boundaries
without building walls.
He can help you forgivewithout excusing sin.
And he can restore your peace.
The kind that no manipulationcan steal away.
(15:25):
I want to wrap this upby talking about freedom
and how to walkin the Spirit of Christ,
when pride is all around you,and how to guard your own heart
from becoming what hurt you.
So what do you dowhen you've been
(15:45):
burned by pride?
When the lies have spread,the story has been twisted
and you feel stuck somewherebetween anger
and sheer exhaustion.
The temptation is to fight back.
Now, I've done that the same waythat you were hurt by pride.
I've done that to match pridewith pride.
(16:08):
To control what you can't fix.
But the Spirit of Christinvites us to something radical.
Freedom through surrender.
Galatians five one says,it is for freedom
that Christ has set usfree. Stand firm then
do not let yourselvesbe burdened again
by a yoke of slavery.
(16:31):
My friends, pride is a yoke.
Control is a yoke.
They weigh you downuntil you can't breathe.
Jesus breaks that yokenot by overpowering it,
but by out loving it.
So first of all,let God defend you.
(16:51):
There were nightswhen I would just
replay conversationsover and over in my head,
trying to craftthe perfect comeback.
You ever do that?
Then one day as I was praying,I sensed God speaking to me.
You can spendyour energy proving you're right
(17:12):
or you can spend itbecoming more like me.
Pretty simple.
I cut deep because sometimeswe want justice
more than we want Jesus.
Romans 12 (17:23):
19 says, very important,
do not take revenge,my dear friends, but leave room
for God's wrath, forit is written.
It is mine to avenge.
I will repay, says the Lord.
God's justice may moveslower than what we want,
slower than our emotions.
(17:44):
But it's always perfect.
And letting him defendyou doesn't make you weak.
It makes you free.
Secondly, guard your heartfrom becoming what hurt you.
What I mean is,if we're not careful,
prolonged pain can kind of morphinto pride of our own.
(18:08):
We start thinking.
I'd never treat people that way.
And pride creepsin through the back door.
Philippians 2 (18:15):
3-4 can keep us anchored.
It says do nothing out ofselfish ambition
or vain conceit.
Rather, in humility,value others above yourself,
not looking toyour own interests,
but each of you to the interestsof others.
(18:37):
The Greek phrasefor selfish ambition
there is a riskier.
It literally meansa spirit of rivalry.
So when we let hurtHarden into rivalry,
we start competingwith the very people that God
called us to love.
So the prayer then becomes,Lord, heal me.
(18:58):
So I don't mirrorthat same pride that wounded me.
Third.
Walking in truth and grace.
John 1 (19:09):
14 says, The Word became flesh and dwelt among us.
We have seen his glory,the glory of the one
and only son, who camefrom the father,
full of grace and truth.
Grace and truth.
Not without compassionand not grace.
(19:31):
Without boundaries.
The balance is what exposesnarcissism and heals
its victims.
Truth saysthis behavior is wrong.
And Grace says,but you're still loved together.
They say there's a better way.
(19:51):
Come and follow Jesus.
Number four when youneed boundaries,
sometimes loving likeJesus means stepping back.
Even Jesus withdrew from peoplewho wanted to kill him
and his missionbefore it was time.
Mark 1 (20:09):
35, says he often went to solitary places to pray.
So boundaries aren't walls.
They're just wisdom.
They protect peaceso you can keep loving
from a place of wholenessand not weariness.
That's importantif you need permission
(20:29):
to rest, to step away, to stopexplaining yourself
over and over, you have it.
God doesn't call you to besomeone else's
emotional punching bag.
He calls you to be light.
And sometimes light shines bestwhen it's no longer trapped
in someone else's storm.
You know, every morningwe choose
(20:51):
whose image will reflectthroughout the day.
The image of selfor the image of Christ.
And that'snot a one time decision.
We've talked about this before.
It's daily surrender.
Jesus said in Luke 9 (21:07):
23, whoever wants to be my disciple
must deny themselvesand take up their cross daily
and follow me daily,because pride keep
knocking every morningwhispering protect your image.
But the cross answersdie to your image
(21:29):
and live for mine.
Humility doesn't mean thinkingless of yourself.
It means thinkingof yourself less.
It means living in such a waythat when people see you,
they glimpseat the heart of Jesus,
not the shadow of self.
So before we close,I want to ask you something that
(21:51):
only you can answer.
Is there any part of your heartthat's become hard from pride,
from pain, or from control?
Maybe you've been the onewho's been
wounded by narcissism.
Or maybe if you're honest,you've seen bits of that
in yourself.
(22:12):
Either way, Grace is here.
God never exposes prideto shame us.
He exposes it to free us.
One of my favorite chaptersin the Bible, Psalm
139, verses 23 and 24is my prayer today.
And it says, search me, O God,and know my heart.
(22:34):
Test me and knowmy anxious thoughts.
See if there'sany offensive way in me.
And lead me in the way.
Everlasting.
That is a brave prayer.
And it's also the onethat leads us to peace.
So maybe as you've listened,you've realized something deeper
(22:56):
that pride has kept youat a distance from God himself.
You've been trying torun your own life.
Call your own shots.
Be your own savior, my friend.
That's what sin is.
It's putting yourselfwhere only God belongs.
But here's the good news.
(23:17):
Jesus humbled himselfso you could be lifted up.
He took every ounce of your sinand my sin, including our pride.
And he nailed it to the cross.
Three days later, he rose againso we could walk in freedom
and not shame.
(23:38):
So Romans ten ninedeclares it very simply
if you declare with your mouth,Jesus is Lord, and you believe
in your heartthat God raised him
from the dead,you will be saved.
That's it.
It's not religion.
It's not performance.
It's not image.
(23:58):
Just surrender.
If you've never madethat decision, you can do that
right now.
Wherever you are,don't repeat it.
Say something like thisfrom the heart.
Lord Jesus, I admitI've tried to run my own life.
I've let pride sit on the throneof my heart.
(24:19):
Today I surrender.
I believe you diedfor me and rose again.
Forgive me and fill mewith your spirit.
Teach me to walkin the way of humility
and truth.
I belong to you.
Amen.
If you prayed that prayer.
Welcome to freedom.
(24:39):
You just traded self-rulefor the Savior's reign.
And there's no better exchange.
Maybe you're still in the middleof a hard situation dealing with
manipulation, gaslighting,and control.
I'm there.
(25:00):
Hold on to this.
You don't need to winevery argument.
You just need tokeep your integrity.
You don't need toprove your worth.
Jesus already didthat on the cross.
You don't needeveryone's approval.
You already have God's.
Another one of my favorite verseverses in the Bible
sums it up perfectly.
It's Micah 6 (25:19):
8 and it says, he has shown you all mortal
what is good and what does Godrequire of you to act justly,
to love mercy,and to walk humbly
with your God?
That's our callingto walk humbly.
(25:40):
And when we do, even in a pridefilled world, people will
see something different in us.
Not the spirit of narcissism,but the Spirit of Christ.
Hey, thanks for joining me todayon Behind the Mike Podcast.
If if this episodeencouraged you, please share it
with someone who needs hopeor healing.
And remember,truth still stands.
(26:02):
Love still wins and gracestill changes everything.
Hey, if you're not subscribedto this YouTube channel
or to this audiopodcast, please click
the subscribe buttonand the notification
button on YouTube.
And please clickthe subscribe button
on your favorite podcast app.
(26:23):
Thanks again for joining us.
I'm Mike Stone.
We'll see you next timeon Behind the Mike Podcast.
Keep you.
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