April 23, 2025 • 45 mins
Host Ty Cobb-Backer welcomes his close friend Eric Oberembt to discuss Eric's newly published book "Shut The F*ck Up and Listen More" and the powerful philosophy of connection it contains.
• Eric shares that while this is technically his third book, it's his first deeply personal work incorporating his own stories and perspectives
• The book focuses on the TEAM method: Trust, Empathy, Authenticity, and Meaning as the foundation for true connection
• Eric explains he wrote the book for "me 15 years ago" – for anyone who feels disconnected and wants to build better relationships
• The book emphasizes doing what you say you'll do as a core principle of integrity and trustworthiness
• Eric discusses how he incorporated lessons from his recovery journey into business principles without making it an "AA book"
• The most rewarding part of writing was sharing stories about his grandfather who profoundly shaped his life
• Eric believes our modern failure to listen more than we talk has damaged our ability to connect with others
• The book teaches that real growth happens when we stop talking and truly listen without formulating responses
• Eric urges readers to practice curiosity instead of judgment when encountering different belief systems
Get "Shut The F*ck Up and Listen More" on Amazon in Kindle, softcover, or hardcover editions.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Ty Cobb Backer (00:00):
Hey, and we're live.
Welcome back everybody toBeyond the Tool Belt, episode
278.
I'm your host, ty Cobb-Backer.
Thank you for joining us againon this Wednesday edition of
Beyond the Tool Belt.
Today we have another specialguest.
Stay tuned after our shortintro from our sponsors.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
Welcome to Behind the Tool Belt, where the stories
are bold, the conversations arereal and the insights come to
you live, raw and uncut.
Every week, host Ty Cobb-Backersits down to bring you the
stories, the struggles, thelessons learned and the wins.
No filters, no scripts, justthe truth.
(01:02):
Please welcome your host ofBehind the Tool Belt, ty
Cobb-Backer.
Ty Cobb Backer (01:07):
Hey, hey, hey.
Welcome back to another episodeof Behind the Tool Belt
everybody, the podcast where wedive into the minds of the
industry leaders who arechanging the game in
construction, contracting andbeyond.
Today we have another amazingguest, my brother from another
mother, eric O.
How you doing, man?
What's up, buddy?
How are you Living the dream,man?
(01:27):
Living the dream.
I'm completely and totallybeside myself right now and I'm
super excited to have you on theshow today for a couple of
different reasons.
One, because I love you andyou're my friend.
Eric Oberembt (01:40):
I love you too Truly.
Ty Cobb Backer (01:42):
My friend and we were just talking about the sum
of.
Earlier, before we got on here,vic and I were talking about
the sum of.
We are the sum of who wesurround ourselves Right and
really, at the end of the day,you're one of those five people
that has impacted me and, inturn, I'm able to impact other
people.
So, directly and indirectly,you're impacting people because,
(02:09):
through me and because of you,I get to do that.
So I'm super excited to haveyou on the show.
And the other reason is becauseof your first book launch, and
we better be the first podcastthat you're're on to promote
your book you are okay?
good, yeah, after the releaseafter the release oh yeah, okay,
(02:34):
I guess that matters.
Eric Oberembt (02:35):
I think I did what you know, what I don't know
if I did.
I don't know if I did anythingbeforehand.
I don't know if anybody wantedme on.
So yeah, no, I think you areokay, good.
Ty Cobb Backer (02:44):
So like, how did the the release of all?
Eric Oberembt (02:48):
yeah, hold on before we even fucking get into
that first thing that I gottasay yeah is how goddamn rugged
and sexy you look right now.
Ty Cobb Backer (02:57):
Well, thank you I'm loving this.
Eric Oberembt (02:59):
Okay, yes, I'm loving this.
Like I would take you home withthat, like that's a fucking
that's a win I'm all in on that,don't?
I don't give a fuck what janicesaid.
Like you, keep that, thatfucking.
That makes you look confidentand authoritative I love it.
Ty Cobb Backer (03:15):
Oh, she loves it .
That's why I'm doing it.
Good, all right own it.
Eric Oberembt (03:18):
I just want you to know.
Okay, you look sexy as shit, sonow more about me.
Ty Cobb Backer (03:23):
More, let's talk more about me now I I like that
, though I'd rather stay on that.
I'm just kidding, but yeah Wellyou know, having it, you know.
Congrats, congratulations, man.
You just launched your firstbook.
How does it officially feel tocall yourself a public or
(03:43):
published a published author soyou know, technically I mean
technically this is my thirdbook.
Eric Oberembt (03:49):
Oh, yes, yes, right.
So, like, I wrote those othertwo books, but they were roofing
books, um, and they were forclients to educate clients, but
they were still books, right.
So, like, I had been through aprocess of writing a book before
, but this was completelydifferent to your point, right,
this one was way more personaland it's not a personal book,
(04:12):
right, it's not a hey, let metell you my story and blah, blah
, blah, blah, blah, right, like,there are true business and
personal things that, like, youwill get out of this book that
you can instantly implement intoyour life and into your company
, right, but there is also Icorrelate that with anecdotal
stories to show how it benefits,right, so there's a lot of me
(04:35):
in this book, right, like, thereis a lot of me, um, in in, in
the lessons and in the storiesand everything like that.
So, in that regard, it was verydifferent, because I was
putting a lot of opinions in thebook as well, which is going to
make people love me or hate mewhen it comes, when they get it,
(04:58):
and what I decided was thatthat's exactly what I want.
Um, I want people to either beattracted or pushed away because
everybody is not for me, um,and I am not for everybody, and
and I'm okay with that, right,I'm totally okay with that, um,
(05:20):
but I think as a as a, as ahuman, we immediately default
into, like, I need everybody tolike me, I need everybody to.
You don't get anything donethat way, right?
Because then all you're hearingis just so much noise, right?
And so I'm really cool, I'mreally happy with that, I'm
really proud of this.
I did put a lot of time andsweat and tears and everything
(05:43):
into it and I I hope that itresonates with people and I hope
that it.
I just hope that it impactspeople, right, like, I am not
going to get rich because Iwrote this fucking book, right,
I'm not going to fucking make abunch of money on royalties and
blah, blah, blah.
Like that was never my goal.
I have other goals of that.
(06:09):
My coach asked me what would itlook like?
You need to come up withsomething to decide.
How would this be a success?
Right, because it's notmonetary for me on that.
And so I was influenced so muchwhen I heard Ed Milet speak the
first time with the story abouthis dad and all that kind of
stuff.
And so we made, we made or Imade the benchmark that if Ed
(06:34):
happened to read my book, thathe would say that it was good
enough to have me on his show todiscuss the concepts in the
book and then that would be thewin.
So, never going to happen.
But that's what I'm shootingfor, right.
That type of that type ofimpact that, if it impacts
somebody like someone like him,to be able to impact even more
(06:58):
humans than I want.
Ty Cobb Backer (07:00):
Yeah, no, that's such a good goal too, and you
never know, it might happen,because I know you and I know
that you've poured your heartand soul into this book.
Like you said, it's not aroofing book necessarily it's.
It's, it's.
There's nothing about roofingin it.
There's some of your stories.
I haven't fully read it yet,but I've listened to you enough
to know what the book is about.
(07:21):
The book is on the way.
I think I should have ittomorrow or Friday.
Eric Oberembt (07:27):
It usually takes a couple of days.
Ty Cobb Backer (07:28):
Yeah, you can go on Amazon and get it, but no,
that's, it's not a lofty goal, Ithink it's.
You know, one of our goals hereis to get John Maxwell on our
podcast and we've planted theseed and he didn't say no.
So that was kind of a littlemini win that he didn't say no.
There was a few things that hewould like to see me be a little
(07:51):
more involved with, which itnow he kind of flipped it back
to me.
So, um, of course I'm draggingmy feet because it's work.
It's it's kind of a work thingthat I have to work on
professionally to be moreinvolved with the foundation and
things like that.
So, but it's, it's goals.
We got to set goals, whetherthey're big, hairy, audacious
(08:13):
goals or not.
We have to set something veryhigh, at least for high
performing people like ourselves, because if not, then we find a
cop out Right, like well, butbut you know the butts and it's
like no, screw it, let's just gofor the.
You know the, the gusto of it,but let's, let's start from the
beginning.
Man, like what, what inspiredyou to write this book?
(08:34):
Was there a moment or a storythat that sparked all of this?
Eric Oberembt (08:39):
Well, you know how it is when, like, you've got
pass, like we do, right?
Um, every time you meetsomebody and you tell them three
of your stories, they're likegod damn, you should write a
book.
And it's like man, if you onlyknew half of it, you know, we'd
probably get re-arrested.
Um, just by announcing thethings that we've done in our
(08:59):
lives and so, like that seedalways got planted Right.
And then we go to all theseevents and I see other people
that have written books and Ilook at them and I'm like,
really, like you did you knowlike what?
What?
(09:20):
Why couldn't I?
Why couldn't I?
And when I finally did the?
So the real moment ofinspiration to answer the
question is when I got to do myfull keynote at RoofCon in 22 or
whatever that was, and we had apretty full room when I did it.
Right, there was a lot ofpeople there, and the feedback
(09:42):
that I got after that and thepeople that came up to me and
talked to me and the impact thatI had in that one moment, made
me realize that I have to dosomething else to be able to
take that information that Igave on stage, which there's,
you know, part of that is in thebook, right, talking about the
(10:03):
team method and all those things.
I need to figure out how to getthat to more people.
Right, and yes, I want to speakmore, I want to be on more
stages, I want to be able topresent this to large groups of
humans, to be able to impactthem, and and and and and help
them as well.
But I was like I need to putpen to paper as well, because
the only way to truly find thosehundreds of thousands, if not
(10:28):
millions, of people that youwant to be able to help change
their lives is, I think, throughthis medium.
Right, and then, selfishly,I'll be honest, like the other
reason that I did, it wasbecause of the fact that, like I
said, I do want to get on.
I do want to have anopportunity to be on more stages
, to talk to more people, andthis is like a degree, and once
(10:52):
you, once you put pen to paperand you show that you're
actually you're willing to putthe work in to do this thing,
that's like getting your degreein school to be able to get the
job Right, and I knew that Ineeded to do something to get my
degree so that I could go topeople and be like, hey, this is
why I'm qualified, right, andso I wanted it was all it's all
(11:14):
a build.
Right, it's all a build.
But I just, at the end of theday, man, like it all comes from
the recovery space that we'rein.
Like, I just want to be able tohelp more people and I don't
have time to sit down and dothis with a thousand people.
Right, I've got businesses torun, I've got a lot of shit
going on.
Right, I've got CCM, I've gotexhale, I've got I've got all
(11:37):
these things, and it's like Idon't have time to do.
The thing that I really want todo is and help.
Then maybe I can, right, butthat's really like that.
That's a large part of theinspiration.
I hope that answers thequestion.
Ty Cobb Backer (11:53):
Yeah, no, that was great.
That was great, for sure, forsure.
And I think I think some of usthat that are kind of in this
space, you know, want to achievewhat what you're talking about,
and I think it's a an amazingidea.
You know, and I've heard thesame thing too.
You know, after people haveheard my story, they're like you
should write a book, you know,and it's like boy, if you only
really knew the truth, not thereal, not the true story.
(12:16):
But I'm there.
I'm usually giving them thesugarcoated version of it just
because I'm afraid I might getlocked up.
Well, they can't fucking.
Eric Oberembt (12:23):
I mean it's Jack Nicholson.
They can't handle the truth,Like most people cannot handle
the real Ty and the real Ericfrom those years.
Yeah, they just can't, we'lljust keep that boxed up.
Yeah, a little fucking lock onit.
Ty Cobb Backer (12:39):
Yeah, isn't that the truth?
Isn't that the truth?
Um so, who?
Who did you write this book for?
You know, obviously you did it.
You know, not for yourself, butlike what, who?
Who were you aiming at when,when you were throwing this dart
out there?
Eric Oberembt (12:52):
So my first thought was is that I wrote it
for me 15 years ago?
Um, because, as an introvert,as a natural introvert, nobody
thinks of that, of of either ofus.
Cause I think that I mean, areyou tell me if I'm wrong, but
(13:13):
like, are you naturally anintrovert as well?
Absolutely, but when peoplelook at us and see us here on
stages talking and leading andall that they're like, they
assume that, like we revel inthat right now.
This is different because, likethis is one-on-one.
When I'm on a stage and I, if Ispoke to 10,000 people, to me
(13:36):
that's still having oneconversation with one person,
Right, but you put me in a groupof of people and like my
fucking nerves go through theroof, right, and like I don't, I
am terrible at just walking upand being like hi, I'm Eric,
(13:57):
what's your name?
Will you be my friend?
Like fucking, I hate that shit.
I absolutely hate it.
I just brain farted.
Where was I going?
What was the question?
Ty Cobb Backer (14:07):
You were.
Eric Oberembt (14:08):
You were talking about being an introvert, but
who who?
did you write the book?
So I wrote it for me.
I wrote it in in theory for me15 years ago of who I was,
because I know that there's somany people that are in that
place that I was at 15 years agoof trying to figure out who I
was.
How do I lead people, how do Iconnect?
Right, because the the subtitleof the book is stop talking and
start connecting.
And I tell this story.
(14:30):
I tell this story in the book.
But when I was on a retreat withmy coach and he was hypnotizing
me for three days, every day hewas asking me the question of
like, what do you want?
What do you want?
What do you want?
What do you want?
What do you want?
And every day I was like Idon't fucking know, clay, I
don't know what I fucking want.
Stop asking me the goddamnquestion.
And he's like I have to ask thequestion, that's why you're
here.
And I'm like, well, I don'tknow what I want.
I don't know what I want.
(14:50):
And on the last day, after allof the shit that he was doing to
me, I had this poof epiphany ofI want connection and I was
like and I just didn't know howto do that and that was what
spurred the team method of trustand empathy and authenticity
and meaning and truly usingthose core principles and values
(15:12):
and, like how I operate withother people, I learned that if
I do those things and if I shutthe fuck up and listen, that's
how I make those connections.
And I know that there's a tonof people out in the world that
are trying to lead other peopleand trying to lead teams and
trying to lead other humans andtrying to be better at home and
(15:32):
they don't.
They don't know how to do it,but they know that they want to
do it Right.
They know that they want to doit.
They're like what the fuck?
Like, what do I need to dodifferently?
And that was always me.
That was.
I always wanted to be better andI always wanted to figure out
how to do different things sothat people wanted to be around
me, do different things, so thatpeople wanted to be around me.
Right, because I always feltalone, right, and that's what I
(15:56):
put in the book.
So I mean in my mind that'severybody Right.
There's that small percentageof people that like they just
got it figured out Right and ifyou got it figured out.
(16:20):
You don't need my book oranybody else's book, you got it
fucking figured out, right.
Um, those people know.
But everybody else, everybodyelse that has ever felt alone in
business or alone at home,right, felt like they were the
only people in the office or theonly people in their house.
They couldn't talk to anybody,but they didn't understand why.
That's who it's for does thatmake sense?
Ty Cobb Backer (16:34):
yeah, totally does, would you say?
That's the one message orlesson from the book that you
would hope everybody, everyreader, walks away with which
one?
The connection?
Yeah, yeah, you that's theoverall theme.
Eric Oberembt (16:47):
Okay, right, that's the overall theme of the
book, but I mean it breaks downand I have a whole chapter on.
I have a whole chapter on doingwhat you say you're going to do
.
Right, because people don't dothat anymore, right, they do
whatever benefits them, andthere used to be a thing called
(17:10):
your word, right?
I mean, how many old Westernsdo we watch?
Right, where they're?
Like, the only thing that Ihave is my word.
Nobody gives a shit about thatanymore.
Yeah, and I think that that'swhat has declined society as a
whole, because we've forgottenabout how important that was.
Right, nobody really lives bythat anymore.
(17:31):
They're like well, yeah, I saidthat, but like it's changed.
It's like no, motherfucker, yousaid that this is what you were
going to do, right?
I said I was going to pay thisguy this thing and this is what
we agreed to, regardless of whatthey did or didn't do, I
fucking said that this is what Iwas going to do.
So all I have is my word, andthe minute that people don't
believe me anymore, I've losteverything.
(17:53):
So, like, there's a wholechapter on that as well, but
that leads to the base of it.
Still of connection, right.
So the overall theme is theconnection, and if you ever feel
like you're not able to connectwith people and you can't
figure out why, this is kind ofa blueprint on how to do that.
Ty Cobb Backer (18:10):
I love it.
I love it.
No, I, I, I love that so muchand, you know, I, I, um, I'm,
look, I'm really looking forwardto, to, to reading, to reading
this book.
Um, so would you say that, um,you know, did you draw from your
experience, um, and the roofingleadership, or speaking, um,
(18:35):
you know, with all of yourexperiences?
I guess I'm just trying to tiethis question all together here.
You know, how much of the Ericentrepreneur made it into this
book.
Eric Oberembt (18:46):
Quite a bit.
Um, it's kind of a mesh of myrecovery and how I integrated
that also into my business andinto my life, right, the lessons
and the principles that Ilearned from you know doing the
steps and how I integrate thatkind of into my life.
It's not directly talked aboutbut it's indirectly talked about
(19:08):
, right.
So that cause I didn't want toscare anybody with you know any
of the any, any of that, right,I didn't want anybody to think
it was an AA book but like I runmy business in my life based
off of the principles you knowof AA, so like it's obviously
going to bleed, you know, intothat Right, um, and so like
that's, I don't know if thatanswers the question, but like
(19:30):
that.
That's what I'm trying to.
Yes, my business side of it,like the Eric entrepreneur, is a
hundred percent in there butalso are the stories of my past
that show how.
Here's how I was, here's how Iam now, and this is how I got
there and this is how I'm goingto continue to grow because I'm
(19:51):
not done.
And this is how I got there andthis is how I'm going to
continue to grow because I'm notdone Right.
I'm not done until I'm doneRight, which could be tomorrow
and it could be, fucking, 40years from now.
Ty Cobb Backer (20:00):
What do you think the hardest part of the
book was writing and what do youthink was the most inspiring
part?
So two part question what wasthe hardest part?
Was it digging into yourpersonal, your personal stuff,
um, and not necessarily writingthe book, but was there a moment
where it was just kind of likeman, I don't know if I should
put that in there or not, or I'mgoing to because I really feel
like this is going to impactsomebody's life.
Eric Oberembt (20:23):
So there's one part in the book that I toned
down um, that has to do withorganized religion, and I toned
it down a little bit because Ididn't want to push too many
people away that couldn't readit without feeling attacked,
because that was never theintention of the book.
But what I go into that was thepart where this would have been
(20:48):
published probably two monthsago, and I sat for like two
months rewriting literally liketwo paragraphs that's it of the
book because I didn't want it tobe misunderstood, because I was
really worried about.
I was really worried aboutpeople misunderstanding what I
(21:08):
was trying to say, becausepeople always think that it's
about them Um, and it's not Um.
And and the premise of it allis is that we all live off a
base of a set of beliefs.
Right, and that's how weoperate our lives and that's
great.
But what I believe is that abelief is just that.
(21:34):
It's a belief and it's anopinion.
And it is not my job to fuckingtell you what your belief
should be, right.
It is not my job to tell youthat you should believe in this
thing, right, my job is to noteven my job but like, but my job
is to empathize with the factthat you have this belief and to
try and understand where you'recoming from, just so I can
(21:55):
understand you better as a humanright, and then maybe you care
enough about me to understand,to care enough enough to ask why
I believe what I believe.
But at the end of the day, theyare fucking opinions.
They're all opinions, they'reall guesses and and beliefs that
we all have.
There's 800 quote unquotereligions in the world, right,
(22:19):
and it's pretty fucking arrogantto assume that yours is the
only truth.
I just think that's fuckingarrogant, right.
I know there's people watchingthis that are going to you,
motherfucker, you're going tohell and whatever.
Like fine, okay, cool, am Igoing to your hell or am I going
to mine?
Or like what?
Like what?
It's all a set of beliefs,right, and that was the thing
(22:42):
that I struggled with, because Iknow that there are people that
follow me that are going toquote unquote, disagree, right,
but at the end of the day, weall live off a set of opinions,
right, and things that we havedecided to believe in and have
faith in and whatever in thatand and and we need to have
those things, right, and for me,it's thank God for AA, because
(23:04):
AA gave me permission to believein what I wanted to believe and
not have to subscribe to whatyou do.
Right, I don't have to fuckingsubscribe to that, because
that's what everybody getsscared about coming into.
You know, a recovery system.
There's like, oh, I have tobelieve what Johnny believes,
(23:24):
and or I'm never going to beable to get sober, and you know,
blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
And this isn't a sobriety book,just so everybody knows.
Right, this is just how I'velived, and so I struggle with
that because I didn't want topush people away.
I didn't want to push, I didn'twant people to misunderstand,
right, if they truly read what Iwrote, none of it is offensive
whatsoever.
(23:44):
Unless you choose to take it asbeing offensive.
That's on you.
If you read something andyou're like I'm offended, you
fucking chose to be offended.
It's a.
You have a belief, I have abelief.
Fuck you and your offense, I'moffended, right, it's ridiculous
.
You're the one that made thechoice to be offended.
(24:05):
So that was the struggle that Ihad.
But the top of that paragraphsays fuck it, this is my book, I
can write whatever I want andpeople can either like it or
they don't Right.
The other struggle that I hadwas that, um, the title and the
(24:27):
fact that I do speak in the bookas I speak is like I wrote it.
There's no fucking AI, there'sno, no bullshit in here.
Like I wrote the fucking book,right.
So when you read it, you willhear me and my publishers were
concerned about it and wanted to.
They're like oh, we have to, wehave to bleep this out and
(24:48):
block this out and do all thisstuff.
And they're like or we can'tget it published on so-and-so
and so-and-so and I'm like Idon't fucking care, Right, I
don't care, hold on FuckingNatalie's calling me.
Ty Cobb Backer (25:05):
Sorry, honey, I'm on a podcast, I know.
Eric Oberembt (25:07):
Like yeah, she doesn't care.
Ty Cobb Backer (25:11):
I'm trying to call me earlier too.
I don't know.
Yeah, I texted her, we're live.
Maybe she fat fingered it,probably no, I I can.
I can relate so much to, to whatyou were saying, and and and
you know people forcing religionand and and things like that
and down your throat, so I candefinitely see your side of it
(25:35):
and it doesn't make me feel anydifferent or ill of you.
And listen, I've been to churchthree times in my entire life
and at least two out of threetimes, if not all three times, I
didn't even know I was going toa church service.
I thought it was something elsethat we were doing and, of
(25:55):
course, most of that had to dowith Jana and her dad.
But I mean, I enjoyed it, Ilistened to it and I do believe
that there is a power out theregreater than myself, or else I
wouldn't be standing here.
And you know, and I do choose tocall God, and God, you know, is
a metaphor for a lot of things,a gift of desperation that I
was so blessed with early on inmy recovering journey.
And you know, a group of drunks, good, orderly direction, all
(26:19):
those things you know and I do,I get on my knees and I pray,
but I'm not a hundred percentcertain what I'm praying to all
the time.
You know what I mean.
But I just do know and I'veseen the miracles happen in my
life.
Eric Oberembt (26:32):
The point of all of that, though, is because I
don't want to go into a wholeGod conversation, because that
isn't the point of any of it.
It's just me saying, it's justme trying to tell people that
you shouldn't be judging otherpeople based on what they do or
don't believe, whether it'spolitics or religion or whatever
(26:52):
.
Religion is just the easy one,right, like, and that's the one
that, like, really pokes atpeople.
But, like, whether it'sreligion or it's politics or
it's, it doesn't matter what.
It is Right Like I'm going todisagree with somebody on the
far left fucking woke bullshit,you know thing that I don't
agree with.
That I think is fucking wackyand crazy.
Right, it's the same thing.
It's just as divisive, right,if you're talking about politics
(27:14):
as well.
But the other thing that I'mgoing to do is I am going to
take a moment to be like why doyou believe that?
I'm kind of curious?
Am I curious, right?
Here's a better way to put it.
Are you a curious person, right?
Like, here's a better way toput it.
Are you a curious person, right?
Are you a curious person togive a shit enough to be able to
(27:35):
want to ask questions, to learnabout other people and why they
do the things they do, why theybelieve the things they believe
.
Right, it's not about you'reright or you're wrong, right,
it's none of that.
It's just do I care enoughabout other humans to care about
the fact that they do believesomething?
Right, it's none of that, it'sjust do I care enough about
other humans to care about thefact that they do believe
something?
Right?
It's not going to change mymind necessarily, and I'm not
(27:59):
trying to change theirs at all.
Right, I do not need you tobelieve what I believe, whether
it's politics, religion,business.
Right, I mean business, how Ioperate at home.
I don't need you to believe anyof that, right, I just need you
to give a shit enough about hey, why do you do that?
Right, let's make us allquestion what we do and what we
(28:22):
think, because it might open ourminds up to a greater thing.
Maybe, maybe not.
Either way, I'm not going tohate you because of it.
That's the difference.
Does that make sense?
Totally, and I think thatthat's where the world has went
to shit, because we don't askquestions and we don't care
about other people.
We care about what they believe.
Ty Cobb Backer (28:43):
We're so judgmental and we're not curious
enough to understand or listento to their side of it.
And this is the thing I thinkthe older I get, the more
open-minded I am to things,because I have realized how
wrong I've been on so manydifferent topics.
You know what I mean, and it'skind of like I've learned to ask
(29:03):
a little more questions thanopposed to being so judgmental,
especially with the way theworld is today.
I don't necessarily agree witha lot of things that are going
on in the world today in theworld today, but I've also
gotten better about not judgingthat person because they believe
a certain way, because I'vefound out like I've liked people
(29:23):
and I've actually loved otherpeople and then come to find out
their belief systems whetherit's religion, politics didn't
align with mine.
So why should it matter now?
Because now that I found thatout about them that they, they,
they might be on the left sideor on the right side, or
whatever the case might be whywould my opinion or my feelings
(29:45):
about them change just now?
Because I know something likethat about them and I've
recently have discovered certainthings like that.
And it's like you know, wepartner up with a local
organization here, and I knowtheir belief systems don't
necessarily align with mine, butour mission and our goal when
(30:09):
we partner with them is the same.
So everything outside of ourmission doesn't matter, right?
We don't talk about it, wedon't bring it up.
The only thing that that wetalk about in the topic is what
the goal is that we're trying todo.
Eric Oberembt (30:27):
We're trying as long as they're not hurting
other people yeah, and they'renot.
Ty Cobb Backer (30:31):
They're really not right, they're really not in
their in the way that theybelieve.
So you know, I think it reallyhas to do with maturity and
keeping an open mind.
Um, and, and how's that that?
There's a saying that, um, um,stay curious and not judgmental,
or or some something.
Eric Oberembt (30:48):
I know what you're talking about.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, somephilosopher or somebody says it
or some something like that theonly reason that we believe some
of the things that we believeis because we were born when we
were born Right Right, or wewould have been born 500 years
ago.
We'd have a completelydifferent set of beliefs.
Ty Cobb Backer (31:03):
Yes, I agree, I agree, and it was.
I think a lot of our childhoodinfluences had impacted the way
that we think today, whether itwas our school teachers or our
parents, you know.
And and that's it's sad, becauseI think we, we, we are
developed with such a closedmind, right, and then, when we
get old enough and we can thinkfor ourselves, at some point in
(31:24):
time, I think a few of us learnto open our minds and change our
paradigm a little bit, orexpand our paradigm, I should
say, because I don't even wantto look at it as if it's a
paradigm shift.
I want to look at it as if myparadigm has broadened, grown,
grown right, and I try, and I'mnot perfect at it, but it's good
, that's no, that's a good topic, it's a good.
(31:46):
I'm glad you put that in there.
So let's switch up here alittle bit.
Let's go to the other side ofthe spectrum.
What do you think was the mostrewarding part or section of the
book?
That that you found?
That just was like, yeah, thenyou just felt fulfilled after
you completed that chapter orsentence or whatever, getting to
getting to tell people a littlebit more about my grandpa.
(32:07):
That was that was really.
Eric Oberembt (32:09):
That was important to me.
Um, it was also really coolthat the book got released on
his birthday.
Um, and that was like that wasa total accident.
Um, that was not planned, notplanned.
My publishing group was likelet's do it on the 21st and I'm
like, wow.
I was like, okay, yeah, let'sdo that.
But he was such an influence inmy life and was literally my
(32:31):
best friend, the person that Icould talk to about anything.
Person that I could talk toabout anything.
Um, like, no matter how badthings got, I could always talk
to him and I have been.
I've always looked for thatperson again, right, um, because
, like you can't talk to yourwife all the time about
(32:53):
everything that you're dealingwith and you know whatever, like
you got to keep some of that toyourself because you know you
just do um, but having thatperson that you can always go to
, with no judgment whatsoever,you can tell them the shit you
know that you're embarrassed totalk about to other people and I
am, I am who I am today becauseof who he was and not a lot of
(33:20):
people got to meet him.
He died about 10 years ago andso on the journey that I've been
on for the last 10, 12 years,not a lot of people got to meet
him and I got to tell somestories about him in the book.
Him in the book and I'm,selfishly was just really
(33:43):
excited for people to know whohe is, you know a little bit
better, um, and how he helpedmold me, and I think that was
really rewarding just from aselfish standpoint, so that when
Tegan you know maybe see hasthis sitting on her bookshelf in
30 years she still gets toremember grandpa and she still
gets to remember me.
It's why I'm going to recordthe book as well is so that when
I'm dead she can go back andshe can hear me this you know
(34:06):
into life, um, and and then I'mnever gone, you know Um, so that
that was the most rewardingthing for me.
Ty Cobb Backer (34:15):
I bet, I bet, I bet I only got a couple more
questions for you.
I know you have, um, a hardstop here.
Um, so, I guess was there.
So I started to write a bookand when, during this process of
writing book of course I didn'tlaunch it yet, cause I too, you
know people were like, hey, youshould write a book, so I have
(34:37):
this running I too, you knowpeople are like, hey, you should
write a book, so I have thisrunning.
I call it my why and it's in mynotes on my phone, my iPad, and
I mean I have these thoughtsand I just put them in there.
But during this process ofwriting this, I was inspired,
you know, with a topic foranother book.
So did is there another book?
When you were writing this, Iguess was.
(34:58):
Was there like, oh man, thatthat would be another great book
.
So would would you say thatthere was something in during
the process of writing this bookthat may inspire a second book?
Eric Oberembt (35:10):
Maybe, um, not yet.
I need to, I need to reallydigest this.
What I think will happen is I'mwaiting on the feedback that I
get from this book to hear whatpeople would like to hear more
(35:31):
about Right, um, because then Ican craft something that I know
impacted people, because if theycome back and they're like,
dude, this chapter, man, I wishyou would have wrote a whole
book on that right, then I cango back and do that, but like an
offshoot right now, no, but Ithink that something will come
(35:56):
out of this and it's going to bebased on the people that read
it that come back and say man,this is this, this changed how I
do things.
I wish we could have went alittle bit deeper, you know,
into that, and so that's what Ithink will happen.
Okay, yeah, but I don't have Idon't have a good answer for
that of like yes, it was there.
Like.
Ty Cobb Backer (36:14):
I, I want it to happen organically.
Yeah, yeah, it was like I wantit to happen organically.
Yeah, that totally makes sense.
And me, I get distracted soeasily so during one book I've
already written five booksbecause I can't focus on the one
.
But no, that totally makessense, that once it comes out
and you get your feedback andthings like that, that might
inspire one of the chapters toturn into a more detailed book.
(36:37):
So, no, that, that that totallymakes sense.
And before, before we forget,if someone's listening who's
been thinking about, um, writinga book, what advice would you
give them?
Eric Oberembt (36:51):
Stop talking about it, just do it.
I mean, I, I had to pull thefucking trigger.
Um, you know, I talked about itfor a while and I, literally I
met a friend his name's DanielFerguson, um, at my, uh, golf
club, my country club, here inOmaha, and we were playing golf
and he had told me he was like,yeah, I wrote a book.
(37:13):
And I'm like, oh really, I'mlike what'd you write a book
about?
He's a wealth advisor and hewrote a book and it wasn't about
wealth advising.
And it was that moment of likewhy the fuck, why am I not doing
this?
And he gave me the contactinformation of this person that
(37:34):
he worked with at Game ChangerPublishing and I was like you
know what?
I'll have a call with them.
And then, once they explainedto me the process and how easy
it could be if I actually did it, for me it was paying the money
.
Because the minute that Istroked the check, I was like,
(37:55):
okay, I'm in right now.
I got to now.
I got to do it right.
I stroke the check.
They're going to make all thesedeliverables, but I have to
build the thing to be able toget those deliverables.
And I think that if it sits offto the side and you don't make
that actual commitment to I'mdoing this, I'm dedicating this
much time in a day to writing orrecording or whatever.
(38:17):
However you're writing the book, you have to make the decision
and then you got to put someskin in the game, because if you
don't put any skin in the game,you're just going to fiddle,
fuck with it for 20 years andit's never going to come to
fruition.
Ty Cobb Backer (38:31):
No doubt I agree , and that's that's been some of
my issue.
I haven't stroked that checkyet, but there is a publishing
company that my coach actuallyturned me on to.
Great, great advice, though,and before I forget where can
people get your book right nowand support you?
Eric Oberembt (38:46):
Yeah, amazon, I mean, that's the easiest right.
Go to Amazon and then justsearch Eric Oberamt and it'll
pop right up.
Shut the fuck up and listenmore.
Pop up right on Amazon.
I'll send you guys the link toAmazon or you can pull it up and
copy it and put it in the chatthere.
For some reason I can't chat init.
But, yeah, amazon's the bestway to get it and it comes in.
(39:10):
You can get it on Kindle.
You can get a soft cover or ahard cover.
I'm going to order a bunch ofhard covers if people want me to
sign it or something which issounded really fucking horrible
me just saying that, but I knowthat there are people that do
want that, and so, um, that'sthe.
I love hardcover books.
Like to me, that's what goes onyour bookshelf, right?
Um, so that that's my favorite.
(39:31):
I like reading a real book.
Um, I've got a kindle and Iread a lot of books on that too,
but, like, I love having anactual hard copy book, like
that's me too, so it gives meshit all the time.
Ty Cobb Backer (39:40):
because I'll listen to the audio but I also
have to purchase the hard copyof it.
I just I do because I'll doboth at the same time.
I'll follow along in the bookas I'm listening to it,
especially if it's something I'mstudying or I'm really really
want to hear more or digest moremore quickly.
Eric Oberembt (39:57):
So 100% but Amazon is the easiest place to
get it.
Ty Cobb Backer (40:00):
Okay, amazon, we'll try to put that in the
comments later if we can't getto it right.
This second, one, last questionfor you, man If you could put
one sentence from your book on abillboard for the whole world
to see, what would it be?
Eric Oberembt (40:13):
Shut the fuck up and listen more.
I mean I mean it's literallywhy I titled the book that it
shut the fuck up and listen more.
I mean it's literally why Ititled the book that it shut the
fuck up and listen more.
That all stemmed from,literally again, people coming
to me in sobriety and wanting toget clean and then sitting down
in a room and they're fuckingtwo days sober and then they sit
there and yap and tell me whatthey are going to do and I'm
(40:37):
like whoa, if you fucking hadall the answers, asshole, you
wouldn't be sitting in this roomright now.
So maybe you could shut thefuck up and listen and stop
talking so goddamn much.
And what's interesting aboutthat is that it correlates so
much into life and business too,because in business, when you
try to go into a room that youfeel like maybe you don't belong
(41:00):
in, most people start talkingtoo goddamn much because they
feel like they have to look thepart right.
And if you go, sit in thoserooms and you watch, the people
who are the quietest are usuallythe ones that are the smartest
and they have the mostinformation to give.
But they're waiting, they'rewaiting and then they're
(41:22):
absorbing everybody else,because they're actually
learning and growing.
You don't learn shit by talking.
You have to remember that youdon't learn anything by talking.
When you talk, you're trying toimpart something on someone
else, right?
You can only learn and you canonly grow if you're listening.
So if your goal is to grow andbecome something different, then
(41:45):
shut the fuck up and stoptalking so goddamn much and
listen to other people and stopcrafting your fucking answer
while you're supposedlylistening, right, while you're
supposedly listening.
Right, listen to the wholething that they're saying.
Then come up with what you'regoing to say next.
Right?
That's the key, and I know youand I have talked about that,
(42:10):
you know on numerous occasions,but it needs to be said more and
more and more and more, becausethere's so much noise in the
world and everybody wants to beheard, but nobody wants to
listen anymore.
Yeah, and so we?
Just we have to listen more,because once we listen more, we
can empathize more.
Yeah, we can empathize more,and then we can start connecting
more with people, right?
(42:31):
So, but the first step is toshut the fuck up.
Just just shut up and stoptelling me what you're going to
do.
Just shut up and listen, andthen let's have a conversation
that's back and forth, whereyou're actually listening to
what I have to say and I'mactually listening to what you
have to say, and then we'recrafting responses based off
(42:51):
those words, not what's going onin our head while you're
talking.
Ty Cobb Backer (42:55):
So true, such great advice too.
The know the world needs tolisten more, shut up and and you
know talk less and listen moreand be open-minded and not just
shut your mouth but shut yourmind off, you know, while while
someone's speaking.
And that's something, it's askill, it's something that you
can work on, it's something thatyou can or engage it
differently.
Eric Oberembt (43:16):
Don't shut it off , but engage it differently.
Right, get outside of you andget into them so that you can
actually take in what they'resaying.
Ty Cobb Backer (43:27):
Yeah.
Eric Oberembt (43:28):
Right, and again it's just another way of saying
what you already said.
Right, but like yes, sorry.
Ty Cobb Backer (43:34):
I go on a dance, that's okay.
No, this was today wasdefinitely all about you, eric.
I want to do whatever I can doto support you, because I know
this is going to be an amazingbook.
I am thrilled.
I can't wait to.
I'm tracking it as the days,the minutes go by here until I
get it.
I do feel some kind of way thatI wasn't one of the first
people to have a book.
(43:55):
But uh, it's okay, I'll forgiveyou for that.
You mean, like, because youdidn't just send me a special
copy that was signed?
Eric Oberembt (44:01):
I didn't get one.
Ty Cobb Backer (44:03):
Oh, you didn't get one either I don't know.
Eric Oberembt (44:04):
They literally just sent me my first author
copy yesterday.
Ty Cobb Backer (44:07):
Bastards yeah, I know.
So, yeah, anyhow, otherwise youotherwise you would have been I
was just busting your balls,but I know.
Thank you so much.
I know you gotta get going hereand you're busy.
Thank you for carving out the.
You know the time to come onthe show today.
Uh, congratulations, man.
I can't express that enough.
You know, congrats on the biglaunch of your third book.
(44:29):
But I think this one's trulyspecial.
I can just see the, the, thepassion in your eyes right now
with this, and you should bevery proud of yourself, because
I know that this isn't an easyfeat to to accomplish.
You know.
You know writing a book just initself and then being proud of
it and not really having anyregrets, and so.
So thank you so much, and thankyou for everybody for listening
(44:50):
and chiming in.
If you think anybody out theremay get something from this
podcast, please share this withthem Like love.
Don't forget to subscribe to.
We're on every single frickingplatform now.
Even I heart radio, so don'tforget to check us out.
Share this with with somebodyyou feel that might get
something out of this, andplease go on to Amazon and order
(45:11):
yourself about 10 books.
Send them to Eric He'll.
He'll sign them for you andwe'll put his address in the in
the car.
I'm just kidding, um, justkidding, but no, the office
address.
Eric Oberembt (45:24):
you can put the office address yeah that's fine,
I love you, man, thank you,Thanks, buddy.
Ty Cobb Backer (45:28):
Have a great day you too, yep.
Bye-bye.
Hey, and we're live.
Welcome back everybody toBeyond the Tool Belt, episode
278.
I'm your host, ty Cobb-Backer.
Thank you for joining us againon this Wednesday edition of
Beyond the Tool Belt.
Today we have another specialguest.
Stay tuned after our shortintro from our sponsors.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
Welcome to Behind the Tool Belt, where the stories
are bold, the conversations arereal and the insights come to
you live, raw and uncut.
Every week, host Ty Cobb-Backersits down to bring you the
stories, the struggles, thelessons learned and the wins.
No filters, no scripts, justthe truth.
(01:02):
Please welcome your host ofBehind the Tool Belt, ty
Cobb-Backer.
Ty Cobb Backer (01:07):
Hey, hey, hey.
Welcome back to another episodeof Behind the Tool Belt
everybody, the podcast where wedive into the minds of the
industry leaders who arechanging the game in
construction, contracting andbeyond.
Today we have another amazingguest, my brother from another
mother, eric O.
How you doing, man?
What's up, buddy?
How are you Living the dream,man?
(01:27):
Living the dream.
I'm completely and totallybeside myself right now and I'm
super excited to have you on theshow today for a couple of
different reasons.
One, because I love you andyou're my friend.
Eric Oberembt (01:40):
I love you too Truly.
Ty Cobb Backer (01:42):
My friend and we were just talking about the sum
of.
Earlier, before we got on here,vic and I were talking about
the sum of.
We are the sum of who wesurround ourselves Right and
really, at the end of the day,you're one of those five people
that has impacted me and, inturn, I'm able to impact other
people.
So, directly and indirectly,you're impacting people because,
(02:09):
through me and because of you,I get to do that.
So I'm super excited to haveyou on the show.
And the other reason is becauseof your first book launch, and
we better be the first podcastthat you're're on to promote
your book you are okay?
good, yeah, after the releaseafter the release oh yeah, okay,
(02:34):
I guess that matters.
Eric Oberembt (02:35):
I think I did what you know, what I don't know
if I did.
I don't know if I did anythingbeforehand.
I don't know if anybody wantedme on.
So yeah, no, I think you areokay, good.
Ty Cobb Backer (02:44):
So like, how did the the release of all?
Eric Oberembt (02:48):
yeah, hold on before we even fucking get into
that first thing that I gottasay yeah is how goddamn rugged
and sexy you look right now.
Ty Cobb Backer (02:57):
Well, thank you I'm loving this.
Eric Oberembt (02:59):
Okay, yes, I'm loving this.
Like I would take you home withthat, like that's a fucking
that's a win I'm all in on that,don't?
I don't give a fuck what janicesaid.
Like you, keep that, thatfucking.
That makes you look confidentand authoritative I love it.
Ty Cobb Backer (03:15):
Oh, she loves it .
That's why I'm doing it.
Good, all right own it.
Eric Oberembt (03:18):
I just want you to know.
Okay, you look sexy as shit, sonow more about me.
Ty Cobb Backer (03:23):
More, let's talk more about me now I I like that
, though I'd rather stay on that.
I'm just kidding, but yeah Wellyou know, having it, you know.
Congrats, congratulations, man.
You just launched your firstbook.
How does it officially feel tocall yourself a public or
(03:43):
published a published author soyou know, technically I mean
technically this is my thirdbook.
Eric Oberembt (03:49):
Oh, yes, yes, right.
So, like, I wrote those othertwo books, but they were roofing
books, um, and they were forclients to educate clients, but
they were still books, right.
So, like, I had been through aprocess of writing a book before
, but this was completelydifferent to your point, right,
this one was way more personaland it's not a personal book,
(04:12):
right, it's not a hey, let metell you my story and blah, blah
, blah, blah, blah, right, like,there are true business and
personal things that, like, youwill get out of this book that
you can instantly implement intoyour life and into your company
, right, but there is also Icorrelate that with anecdotal
stories to show how it benefits,right, so there's a lot of me
(04:35):
in this book, right, like, thereis a lot of me, um, in in, in
the lessons and in the storiesand everything like that.
So, in that regard, it was verydifferent, because I was
putting a lot of opinions in thebook as well, which is going to
make people love me or hate mewhen it comes, when they get it,
(04:58):
and what I decided was thatthat's exactly what I want.
Um, I want people to either beattracted or pushed away because
everybody is not for me, um,and I am not for everybody, and
and I'm okay with that, right,I'm totally okay with that, um,
(05:20):
but I think as a as a, as ahuman, we immediately default
into, like, I need everybody tolike me, I need everybody to.
You don't get anything donethat way, right?
Because then all you're hearingis just so much noise, right?
And so I'm really cool, I'mreally happy with that, I'm
really proud of this.
I did put a lot of time andsweat and tears and everything
(05:43):
into it and I I hope that itresonates with people and I hope
that it.
I just hope that it impactspeople, right, like, I am not
going to get rich because Iwrote this fucking book, right,
I'm not going to fucking make abunch of money on royalties and
blah, blah, blah.
Like that was never my goal.
I have other goals of that.
(06:09):
My coach asked me what would itlook like?
You need to come up withsomething to decide.
How would this be a success?
Right, because it's notmonetary for me on that.
And so I was influenced so muchwhen I heard Ed Milet speak the
first time with the story abouthis dad and all that kind of
stuff.
And so we made, we made or Imade the benchmark that if Ed
(06:34):
happened to read my book, thathe would say that it was good
enough to have me on his show todiscuss the concepts in the
book and then that would be thewin.
So, never going to happen.
But that's what I'm shootingfor, right.
That type of that type ofimpact that, if it impacts
somebody like someone like him,to be able to impact even more
(06:58):
humans than I want.
Ty Cobb Backer (07:00):
Yeah, no, that's such a good goal too, and you
never know, it might happen,because I know you and I know
that you've poured your heartand soul into this book.
Like you said, it's not aroofing book necessarily it's.
It's, it's.
There's nothing about roofingin it.
There's some of your stories.
I haven't fully read it yet,but I've listened to you enough
to know what the book is about.
(07:21):
The book is on the way.
I think I should have ittomorrow or Friday.
Eric Oberembt (07:27):
It usually takes a couple of days.
Ty Cobb Backer (07:28):
Yeah, you can go on Amazon and get it, but no,
that's, it's not a lofty goal, Ithink it's.
You know, one of our goals hereis to get John Maxwell on our
podcast and we've planted theseed and he didn't say no.
So that was kind of a littlemini win that he didn't say no.
There was a few things that hewould like to see me be a little
(07:51):
more involved with, which itnow he kind of flipped it back
to me.
So, um, of course I'm draggingmy feet because it's work.
It's it's kind of a work thingthat I have to work on
professionally to be moreinvolved with the foundation and
things like that.
So, but it's, it's goals.
We got to set goals, whetherthey're big, hairy, audacious
(08:13):
goals or not.
We have to set something veryhigh, at least for high
performing people like ourselves, because if not, then we find a
cop out Right, like well, butbut you know the butts and it's
like no, screw it, let's just gofor the.
You know the, the gusto of it,but let's, let's start from the
beginning.
Man, like what, what inspiredyou to write this book?
(08:34):
Was there a moment or a storythat that sparked all of this?
Eric Oberembt (08:39):
Well, you know how it is when, like, you've got
pass, like we do, right?
Um, every time you meetsomebody and you tell them three
of your stories, they're likegod damn, you should write a
book.
And it's like man, if you onlyknew half of it, you know, we'd
probably get re-arrested.
Um, just by announcing thethings that we've done in our
(08:59):
lives and so, like that seedalways got planted Right.
And then we go to all theseevents and I see other people
that have written books and Ilook at them and I'm like,
really, like you did you knowlike what?
What?
(09:20):
Why couldn't I?
Why couldn't I?
And when I finally did the?
So the real moment ofinspiration to answer the
question is when I got to do myfull keynote at RoofCon in 22 or
whatever that was, and we had apretty full room when I did it.
Right, there was a lot ofpeople there, and the feedback
(09:42):
that I got after that and thepeople that came up to me and
talked to me and the impact thatI had in that one moment, made
me realize that I have to dosomething else to be able to
take that information that Igave on stage, which there's,
you know, part of that is in thebook, right, talking about the
(10:03):
team method and all those things.
I need to figure out how to getthat to more people.
Right, and yes, I want to speakmore, I want to be on more
stages, I want to be able topresent this to large groups of
humans, to be able to impactthem, and and and and and help
them as well.
But I was like I need to putpen to paper as well, because
the only way to truly find thosehundreds of thousands, if not
(10:28):
millions, of people that youwant to be able to help change
their lives is, I think, throughthis medium.
Right, and then, selfishly,I'll be honest, like the other
reason that I did, it wasbecause of the fact that, like I
said, I do want to get on.
I do want to have anopportunity to be on more stages
, to talk to more people, andthis is like a degree, and once
(10:52):
you, once you put pen to paperand you show that you're
actually you're willing to putthe work in to do this thing,
that's like getting your degreein school to be able to get the
job Right, and I knew that Ineeded to do something to get my
degree so that I could go topeople and be like, hey, this is
why I'm qualified, right, andso I wanted it was all it's all
(11:14):
a build.
Right, it's all a build.
But I just, at the end of theday, man, like it all comes from
the recovery space that we'rein.
Like, I just want to be able tohelp more people and I don't
have time to sit down and dothis with a thousand people.
Right, I've got businesses torun, I've got a lot of shit
going on.
Right, I've got CCM, I've gotexhale, I've got I've got all
(11:37):
these things, and it's like Idon't have time to do.
The thing that I really want todo is and help.
Then maybe I can, right, butthat's really like that.
That's a large part of theinspiration.
I hope that answers thequestion.
Ty Cobb Backer (11:53):
Yeah, no, that was great.
That was great, for sure, forsure.
And I think I think some of usthat that are kind of in this
space, you know, want to achievewhat what you're talking about,
and I think it's a an amazingidea.
You know, and I've heard thesame thing too.
You know, after people haveheard my story, they're like you
should write a book, you know,and it's like boy, if you only
really knew the truth, not thereal, not the true story.
(12:16):
But I'm there.
I'm usually giving them thesugarcoated version of it just
because I'm afraid I might getlocked up.
Well, they can't fucking.
Eric Oberembt (12:23):
I mean it's Jack Nicholson.
They can't handle the truth,Like most people cannot handle
the real Ty and the real Ericfrom those years.
Yeah, they just can't, we'lljust keep that boxed up.
Yeah, a little fucking lock onit.
Ty Cobb Backer (12:39):
Yeah, isn't that the truth?
Isn't that the truth?
Um so, who?
Who did you write this book for?
You know, obviously you did it.
You know, not for yourself, butlike what, who?
Who were you aiming at when,when you were throwing this dart
out there?
Eric Oberembt (12:52):
So my first thought was is that I wrote it
for me 15 years ago?
Um, because, as an introvert,as a natural introvert, nobody
thinks of that, of of either ofus.
Cause I think that I mean, areyou tell me if I'm wrong, but
(13:13):
like, are you naturally anintrovert as well?
Absolutely, but when peoplelook at us and see us here on
stages talking and leading andall that they're like, they
assume that, like we revel inthat right now.
This is different because, likethis is one-on-one.
When I'm on a stage and I, if Ispoke to 10,000 people, to me
(13:36):
that's still having oneconversation with one person,
Right, but you put me in a groupof of people and like my
fucking nerves go through theroof, right, and like I don't, I
am terrible at just walking upand being like hi, I'm Eric,
(13:57):
what's your name?
Will you be my friend?
Like fucking, I hate that shit.
I absolutely hate it.
I just brain farted.
Where was I going?
What was the question?
Ty Cobb Backer (14:07):
You were.
Eric Oberembt (14:08):
You were talking about being an introvert, but
who who?
did you write the book?
So I wrote it for me.
I wrote it in in theory for me15 years ago of who I was,
because I know that there's somany people that are in that
place that I was at 15 years agoof trying to figure out who I
was.
How do I lead people, how do Iconnect?
Right, because the the subtitleof the book is stop talking and
start connecting.
And I tell this story.
(14:30):
I tell this story in the book.
But when I was on a retreat withmy coach and he was hypnotizing
me for three days, every day hewas asking me the question of
like, what do you want?
What do you want?
What do you want?
What do you want?
What do you want?
And every day I was like Idon't fucking know, clay, I
don't know what I fucking want.
Stop asking me the goddamnquestion.
And he's like I have to ask thequestion, that's why you're
here.
And I'm like, well, I don'tknow what I want.
I don't know what I want.
(14:50):
And on the last day, after allof the shit that he was doing to
me, I had this poof epiphany ofI want connection and I was
like and I just didn't know howto do that and that was what
spurred the team method of trustand empathy and authenticity
and meaning and truly usingthose core principles and values
(15:12):
and, like how I operate withother people, I learned that if
I do those things and if I shutthe fuck up and listen, that's
how I make those connections.
And I know that there's a tonof people out in the world that
are trying to lead other peopleand trying to lead teams and
trying to lead other humans andtrying to be better at home and
(15:32):
they don't.
They don't know how to do it,but they know that they want to
do it Right.
They know that they want to doit.
They're like what the fuck?
Like, what do I need to dodifferently?
And that was always me.
That was.
I always wanted to be better andI always wanted to figure out
how to do different things sothat people wanted to be around
me, do different things, so thatpeople wanted to be around me.
Right, because I always feltalone, right, and that's what I
(15:56):
put in the book.
So I mean in my mind that'severybody Right.
There's that small percentageof people that like they just
got it figured out Right and ifyou got it figured out.
(16:20):
You don't need my book oranybody else's book, you got it
fucking figured out, right.
Um, those people know.
But everybody else, everybodyelse that has ever felt alone in
business or alone at home,right, felt like they were the
only people in the office or theonly people in their house.
They couldn't talk to anybody,but they didn't understand why.
That's who it's for does thatmake sense?
Ty Cobb Backer (16:34):
yeah, totally does, would you say?
That's the one message orlesson from the book that you
would hope everybody, everyreader, walks away with which
one?
The connection?
Yeah, yeah, you that's theoverall theme.
Eric Oberembt (16:47):
Okay, right, that's the overall theme of the
book, but I mean it breaks downand I have a whole chapter on.
I have a whole chapter on doingwhat you say you're going to do
.
Right, because people don't dothat anymore, right, they do
whatever benefits them, andthere used to be a thing called
(17:10):
your word, right?
I mean, how many old Westernsdo we watch?
Right, where they're?
Like, the only thing that Ihave is my word.
Nobody gives a shit about thatanymore.
Yeah, and I think that that'swhat has declined society as a
whole, because we've forgottenabout how important that was.
Right, nobody really lives bythat anymore.
(17:31):
They're like well, yeah, I saidthat, but like it's changed.
It's like no, motherfucker, yousaid that this is what you were
going to do, right?
I said I was going to pay thisguy this thing and this is what
we agreed to, regardless of whatthey did or didn't do, I
fucking said that this is what Iwas going to do.
So all I have is my word, andthe minute that people don't
believe me anymore, I've losteverything.
(17:53):
So, like, there's a wholechapter on that as well, but
that leads to the base of it.
Still of connection, right.
So the overall theme is theconnection, and if you ever feel
like you're not able to connectwith people and you can't
figure out why, this is kind ofa blueprint on how to do that.
Ty Cobb Backer (18:10):
I love it.
I love it.
No, I, I, I love that so muchand, you know, I, I, um, I'm,
look, I'm really looking forwardto, to, to reading, to reading
this book.
Um, so would you say that, um,you know, did you draw from your
experience, um, and the roofingleadership, or speaking, um,
(18:35):
you know, with all of yourexperiences?
I guess I'm just trying to tiethis question all together here.
You know, how much of the Ericentrepreneur made it into this
book.
Eric Oberembt (18:46):
Quite a bit.
Um, it's kind of a mesh of myrecovery and how I integrated
that also into my business andinto my life, right, the lessons
and the principles that Ilearned from you know doing the
steps and how I integrate thatkind of into my life.
It's not directly talked aboutbut it's indirectly talked about
(19:08):
, right.
So that cause I didn't want toscare anybody with you know any
of the any, any of that, right,I didn't want anybody to think
it was an AA book but like I runmy business in my life based
off of the principles you knowof AA, so like it's obviously
going to bleed, you know, intothat Right, um, and so like
that's, I don't know if thatanswers the question, but like
(19:30):
that.
That's what I'm trying to.
Yes, my business side of it,like the Eric entrepreneur, is a
hundred percent in there butalso are the stories of my past
that show how.
Here's how I was, here's how Iam now, and this is how I got
there and this is how I'm goingto continue to grow because I'm
(19:51):
not done.
And this is how I got there andthis is how I'm going to
continue to grow because I'm notdone Right.
I'm not done until I'm doneRight, which could be tomorrow
and it could be, fucking, 40years from now.
Ty Cobb Backer (20:00):
What do you think the hardest part of the
book was writing and what do youthink was the most inspiring
part?
So two part question what wasthe hardest part?
Was it digging into yourpersonal, your personal stuff,
um, and not necessarily writingthe book, but was there a moment
where it was just kind of likeman, I don't know if I should
put that in there or not, or I'mgoing to because I really feel
like this is going to impactsomebody's life.
Eric Oberembt (20:23):
So there's one part in the book that I toned
down um, that has to do withorganized religion, and I toned
it down a little bit because Ididn't want to push too many
people away that couldn't readit without feeling attacked,
because that was never theintention of the book.
But what I go into that was thepart where this would have been
(20:48):
published probably two monthsago, and I sat for like two
months rewriting literally liketwo paragraphs that's it of the
book because I didn't want it tobe misunderstood, because I was
really worried about.
I was really worried aboutpeople misunderstanding what I
(21:08):
was trying to say, becausepeople always think that it's
about them Um, and it's not Um.
And and the premise of it allis is that we all live off a
base of a set of beliefs.
Right, and that's how weoperate our lives and that's
great.
But what I believe is that abelief is just that.
(21:34):
It's a belief and it's anopinion.
And it is not my job to fuckingtell you what your belief
should be, right.
It is not my job to tell youthat you should believe in this
thing, right, my job is to noteven my job but like, but my job
is to empathize with the factthat you have this belief and to
try and understand where you'recoming from, just so I can
(21:55):
understand you better as a humanright, and then maybe you care
enough about me to understand,to care enough enough to ask why
I believe what I believe.
But at the end of the day, theyare fucking opinions.
They're all opinions, they'reall guesses and and beliefs that
we all have.
There's 800 quote unquotereligions in the world, right,
(22:19):
and it's pretty fucking arrogantto assume that yours is the
only truth.
I just think that's fuckingarrogant, right.
I know there's people watchingthis that are going to you,
motherfucker, you're going tohell and whatever.
Like fine, okay, cool, am Igoing to your hell or am I going
to mine?
Or like what?
Like what?
It's all a set of beliefs,right, and that was the thing
(22:42):
that I struggled with, because Iknow that there are people that
follow me that are going toquote unquote, disagree, right,
but at the end of the day, weall live off a set of opinions,
right, and things that we havedecided to believe in and have
faith in and whatever in thatand and and we need to have
those things, right, and for me,it's thank God for AA, because
(23:04):
AA gave me permission to believein what I wanted to believe and
not have to subscribe to whatyou do.
Right, I don't have to fuckingsubscribe to that, because
that's what everybody getsscared about coming into.
You know, a recovery system.
There's like, oh, I have tobelieve what Johnny believes,
(23:24):
and or I'm never going to beable to get sober, and you know,
blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
And this isn't a sobriety book,just so everybody knows.
Right, this is just how I'velived, and so I struggle with
that because I didn't want topush people away.
I didn't want to push, I didn'twant people to misunderstand,
right, if they truly read what Iwrote, none of it is offensive
whatsoever.
(23:44):
Unless you choose to take it asbeing offensive.
That's on you.
If you read something andyou're like I'm offended, you
fucking chose to be offended.
It's a.
You have a belief, I have abelief.
Fuck you and your offense, I'moffended, right, it's ridiculous
.
You're the one that made thechoice to be offended.
(24:05):
So that was the struggle that Ihad.
But the top of that paragraphsays fuck it, this is my book, I
can write whatever I want andpeople can either like it or
they don't Right.
The other struggle that I hadwas that, um, the title and the
(24:27):
fact that I do speak in the bookas I speak is like I wrote it.
There's no fucking AI, there'sno, no bullshit in here.
Like I wrote the fucking book,right.
So when you read it, you willhear me and my publishers were
concerned about it and wanted to.
They're like oh, we have to, wehave to bleep this out and
(24:48):
block this out and do all thisstuff.
And they're like or we can'tget it published on so-and-so
and so-and-so and I'm like Idon't fucking care, Right, I
don't care, hold on FuckingNatalie's calling me.
Ty Cobb Backer (25:05):
Sorry, honey, I'm on a podcast, I know.
Eric Oberembt (25:07):
Like yeah, she doesn't care.
Ty Cobb Backer (25:11):
I'm trying to call me earlier too.
I don't know.
Yeah, I texted her, we're live.
Maybe she fat fingered it,probably no, I I can.
I can relate so much to, to whatyou were saying, and and and
you know people forcing religionand and and things like that
and down your throat, so I candefinitely see your side of it
(25:35):
and it doesn't make me feel anydifferent or ill of you.
And listen, I've been to churchthree times in my entire life
and at least two out of threetimes, if not all three times, I
didn't even know I was going toa church service.
I thought it was something elsethat we were doing and, of
(25:55):
course, most of that had to dowith Jana and her dad.
But I mean, I enjoyed it, Ilistened to it and I do believe
that there is a power out theregreater than myself, or else I
wouldn't be standing here.
And you know, and I do choose tocall God, and God, you know, is
a metaphor for a lot of things,a gift of desperation that I
was so blessed with early on inmy recovering journey.
And you know, a group of drunks, good, orderly direction, all
(26:19):
those things you know and I do,I get on my knees and I pray,
but I'm not a hundred percentcertain what I'm praying to all
the time.
You know what I mean.
But I just do know and I'veseen the miracles happen in my
life.
Eric Oberembt (26:32):
The point of all of that, though, is because I
don't want to go into a wholeGod conversation, because that
isn't the point of any of it.
It's just me saying, it's justme trying to tell people that
you shouldn't be judging otherpeople based on what they do or
don't believe, whether it'spolitics or religion or whatever
(26:52):
.
Religion is just the easy one,right, like, and that's the one
that, like, really pokes atpeople.
But, like, whether it'sreligion or it's politics or
it's, it doesn't matter what.
It is Right Like I'm going todisagree with somebody on the
far left fucking woke bullshit,you know thing that I don't
agree with.
That I think is fucking wackyand crazy.
Right, it's the same thing.
It's just as divisive, right,if you're talking about politics
(27:14):
as well.
But the other thing that I'mgoing to do is I am going to
take a moment to be like why doyou believe that?
I'm kind of curious?
Am I curious, right?
Here's a better way to put it.
Are you a curious person, right?
Like, here's a better way toput it.
Are you a curious person, right?
Are you a curious person togive a shit enough to be able to
(27:35):
want to ask questions, to learnabout other people and why they
do the things they do, why theybelieve the things they believe
.
Right, it's not about you'reright or you're wrong, right,
it's none of that.
It's just do I care enoughabout other humans to care about
the fact that they do believesomething?
Right, it's none of that, it'sjust do I care enough about
other humans to care about thefact that they do believe
something?
Right?
It's not going to change mymind necessarily, and I'm not
(27:59):
trying to change theirs at all.
Right, I do not need you tobelieve what I believe, whether
it's politics, religion,business.
Right, I mean business, how Ioperate at home.
I don't need you to believe anyof that, right, I just need you
to give a shit enough about hey, why do you do that?
Right, let's make us allquestion what we do and what we
(28:22):
think, because it might open ourminds up to a greater thing.
Maybe, maybe not.
Either way, I'm not going tohate you because of it.
That's the difference.
Does that make sense?
Totally, and I think thatthat's where the world has went
to shit, because we don't askquestions and we don't care
about other people.
We care about what they believe.
Ty Cobb Backer (28:43):
We're so judgmental and we're not curious
enough to understand or listento to their side of it.
And this is the thing I thinkthe older I get, the more
open-minded I am to things,because I have realized how
wrong I've been on so manydifferent topics.
You know what I mean, and it'skind of like I've learned to ask
(29:03):
a little more questions thanopposed to being so judgmental,
especially with the way theworld is today.
I don't necessarily agree witha lot of things that are going
on in the world today in theworld today, but I've also
gotten better about not judgingthat person because they believe
a certain way, because I'vefound out like I've liked people
(29:23):
and I've actually loved otherpeople and then come to find out
their belief systems whetherit's religion, politics didn't
align with mine.
So why should it matter now?
Because now that I found thatout about them that they, they,
they might be on the left sideor on the right side, or
whatever the case might be whywould my opinion or my feelings
(29:45):
about them change just now?
Because I know something likethat about them and I've
recently have discovered certainthings like that.
And it's like you know, wepartner up with a local
organization here, and I knowtheir belief systems don't
necessarily align with mine, butour mission and our goal when
(30:09):
we partner with them is the same.
So everything outside of ourmission doesn't matter, right?
We don't talk about it, wedon't bring it up.
The only thing that that wetalk about in the topic is what
the goal is that we're trying todo.
Eric Oberembt (30:27):
We're trying as long as they're not hurting
other people yeah, and they'renot.
Ty Cobb Backer (30:31):
They're really not right, they're really not in
their in the way that theybelieve.
So you know, I think it reallyhas to do with maturity and
keeping an open mind.
Um, and, and how's that that?
There's a saying that, um, um,stay curious and not judgmental,
or or some something.
Eric Oberembt (30:48):
I know what you're talking about.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, somephilosopher or somebody says it
or some something like that theonly reason that we believe some
of the things that we believeis because we were born when we
were born Right Right, or wewould have been born 500 years
ago.
We'd have a completelydifferent set of beliefs.
Ty Cobb Backer (31:03):
Yes, I agree, I agree, and it was.
I think a lot of our childhoodinfluences had impacted the way
that we think today, whether itwas our school teachers or our
parents, you know.
And and that's it's sad, becauseI think we, we, we are
developed with such a closedmind, right, and then, when we
get old enough and we can thinkfor ourselves, at some point in
(31:24):
time, I think a few of us learnto open our minds and change our
paradigm a little bit, orexpand our paradigm, I should
say, because I don't even wantto look at it as if it's a
paradigm shift.
I want to look at it as if myparadigm has broadened, grown,
grown right, and I try, and I'mnot perfect at it, but it's good
, that's no, that's a good topic, it's a good.
(31:46):
I'm glad you put that in there.
So let's switch up here alittle bit.
Let's go to the other side ofthe spectrum.
What do you think was the mostrewarding part or section of the
book?
That that you found?
That just was like, yeah, thenyou just felt fulfilled after
you completed that chapter orsentence or whatever, getting to
getting to tell people a littlebit more about my grandpa.
(32:07):
That was that was really.
Eric Oberembt (32:09):
That was important to me.
Um, it was also really coolthat the book got released on
his birthday.
Um, and that was like that wasa total accident.
Um, that was not planned, notplanned.
My publishing group was likelet's do it on the 21st and I'm
like, wow.
I was like, okay, yeah, let'sdo that.
But he was such an influence inmy life and was literally my
(32:31):
best friend, the person that Icould talk to about anything.
Person that I could talk toabout anything.
Um, like, no matter how badthings got, I could always talk
to him and I have been.
I've always looked for thatperson again, right, um, because
, like you can't talk to yourwife all the time about
(32:53):
everything that you're dealingwith and you know whatever, like
you got to keep some of that toyourself because you know you
just do um, but having thatperson that you can always go to
, with no judgment whatsoever,you can tell them the shit you
know that you're embarrassed totalk about to other people and I
am, I am who I am today becauseof who he was and not a lot of
(33:20):
people got to meet him.
He died about 10 years ago andso on the journey that I've been
on for the last 10, 12 years,not a lot of people got to meet
him and I got to tell somestories about him in the book.
Him in the book and I'm,selfishly was just really
(33:43):
excited for people to know whohe is, you know a little bit
better, um, and how he helpedmold me, and I think that was
really rewarding just from aselfish standpoint, so that when
Tegan you know maybe see hasthis sitting on her bookshelf in
30 years she still gets toremember grandpa and she still
gets to remember me.
It's why I'm going to recordthe book as well is so that when
I'm dead she can go back andshe can hear me this you know
(34:06):
into life, um, and and then I'mnever gone, you know Um, so that
that was the most rewardingthing for me.
Ty Cobb Backer (34:15):
I bet, I bet, I bet I only got a couple more
questions for you.
I know you have, um, a hardstop here.
Um, so, I guess was there.
So I started to write a bookand when, during this process of
writing book of course I didn'tlaunch it yet, cause I too, you
know people were like, hey, youshould write a book, so I have
(34:37):
this running I too, you knowpeople are like, hey, you should
write a book, so I have thisrunning.
I call it my why and it's in mynotes on my phone, my iPad, and
I mean I have these thoughtsand I just put them in there.
But during this process ofwriting this, I was inspired,
you know, with a topic foranother book.
So did is there another book?
When you were writing this, Iguess was.
(34:58):
Was there like, oh man, thatthat would be another great book
.
So would would you say thatthere was something in during
the process of writing this bookthat may inspire a second book?
Eric Oberembt (35:10):
Maybe, um, not yet.
I need to, I need to reallydigest this.
What I think will happen is I'mwaiting on the feedback that I
get from this book to hear whatpeople would like to hear more
(35:31):
about Right, um, because then Ican craft something that I know
impacted people, because if theycome back and they're like,
dude, this chapter, man, I wishyou would have wrote a whole
book on that right, then I cango back and do that, but like an
offshoot right now, no, but Ithink that something will come
(35:56):
out of this and it's going to bebased on the people that read
it that come back and say man,this is this, this changed how I
do things.
I wish we could have went alittle bit deeper, you know,
into that, and so that's what Ithink will happen.
Okay, yeah, but I don't have Idon't have a good answer for
that of like yes, it was there.
Like.
Ty Cobb Backer (36:14):
I, I want it to happen organically.
Yeah, yeah, it was like I wantit to happen organically.
Yeah, that totally makes sense.
And me, I get distracted soeasily so during one book I've
already written five booksbecause I can't focus on the one
.
But no, that totally makessense, that once it comes out
and you get your feedback andthings like that, that might
inspire one of the chapters toturn into a more detailed book.
(36:37):
So, no, that, that that totallymakes sense.
And before, before we forget,if someone's listening who's
been thinking about, um, writinga book, what advice would you
give them?
Eric Oberembt (36:51):
Stop talking about it, just do it.
I mean, I, I had to pull thefucking trigger.
Um, you know, I talked about itfor a while and I, literally I
met a friend his name's DanielFerguson, um, at my, uh, golf
club, my country club, here inOmaha, and we were playing golf
and he had told me he was like,yeah, I wrote a book.
(37:13):
And I'm like, oh really, I'mlike what'd you write a book
about?
He's a wealth advisor and hewrote a book and it wasn't about
wealth advising.
And it was that moment of likewhy the fuck, why am I not doing
this?
And he gave me the contactinformation of this person that
(37:34):
he worked with at Game ChangerPublishing and I was like you
know what?
I'll have a call with them.
And then, once they explainedto me the process and how easy
it could be if I actually did it, for me it was paying the money
.
Because the minute that Istroked the check, I was like,
(37:55):
okay, I'm in right now.
I got to now.
I got to do it right.
I stroke the check.
They're going to make all thesedeliverables, but I have to
build the thing to be able toget those deliverables.
And I think that if it sits offto the side and you don't make
that actual commitment to I'mdoing this, I'm dedicating this
much time in a day to writing orrecording or whatever.
(38:17):
However you're writing the book, you have to make the decision
and then you got to put someskin in the game, because if you
don't put any skin in the game,you're just going to fiddle,
fuck with it for 20 years andit's never going to come to
fruition.
Ty Cobb Backer (38:31):
No doubt I agree , and that's that's been some of
my issue.
I haven't stroked that checkyet, but there is a publishing
company that my coach actuallyturned me on to.
Great, great advice, though,and before I forget where can
people get your book right nowand support you?
Eric Oberembt (38:46):
Yeah, amazon, I mean, that's the easiest right.
Go to Amazon and then justsearch Eric Oberamt and it'll
pop right up.
Shut the fuck up and listenmore.
Pop up right on Amazon.
I'll send you guys the link toAmazon or you can pull it up and
copy it and put it in the chatthere.
For some reason I can't chat init.
But, yeah, amazon's the bestway to get it and it comes in.
(39:10):
You can get it on Kindle.
You can get a soft cover or ahard cover.
I'm going to order a bunch ofhard covers if people want me to
sign it or something which issounded really fucking horrible
me just saying that, but I knowthat there are people that do
want that, and so, um, that'sthe.
I love hardcover books.
Like to me, that's what goes onyour bookshelf, right?
Um, so that that's my favorite.
(39:31):
I like reading a real book.
Um, I've got a kindle and Iread a lot of books on that too,
but, like, I love having anactual hard copy book, like
that's me too, so it gives meshit all the time.
Ty Cobb Backer (39:40):
because I'll listen to the audio but I also
have to purchase the hard copyof it.
I just I do because I'll doboth at the same time.
I'll follow along in the bookas I'm listening to it,
especially if it's something I'mstudying or I'm really really
want to hear more or digest moremore quickly.
Eric Oberembt (39:57):
So 100% but Amazon is the easiest place to
get it.
Ty Cobb Backer (40:00):
Okay, amazon, we'll try to put that in the
comments later if we can't getto it right.
This second, one, last questionfor you, man If you could put
one sentence from your book on abillboard for the whole world
to see, what would it be?
Eric Oberembt (40:13):
Shut the fuck up and listen more.
I mean I mean it's literallywhy I titled the book that it
shut the fuck up and listen more.
I mean it's literally why Ititled the book that it shut the
fuck up and listen more.
That all stemmed from,literally again, people coming
to me in sobriety and wanting toget clean and then sitting down
in a room and they're fuckingtwo days sober and then they sit
there and yap and tell me whatthey are going to do and I'm
(40:37):
like whoa, if you fucking hadall the answers, asshole, you
wouldn't be sitting in this roomright now.
So maybe you could shut thefuck up and listen and stop
talking so goddamn much.
And what's interesting aboutthat is that it correlates so
much into life and business too,because in business, when you
try to go into a room that youfeel like maybe you don't belong
(41:00):
in, most people start talkingtoo goddamn much because they
feel like they have to look thepart right.
And if you go, sit in thoserooms and you watch, the people
who are the quietest are usuallythe ones that are the smartest
and they have the mostinformation to give.
But they're waiting, they'rewaiting and then they're
(41:22):
absorbing everybody else,because they're actually
learning and growing.
You don't learn shit by talking.
You have to remember that youdon't learn anything by talking.
When you talk, you're trying toimpart something on someone
else, right?
You can only learn and you canonly grow if you're listening.
So if your goal is to grow andbecome something different, then
(41:45):
shut the fuck up and stoptalking so goddamn much and
listen to other people and stopcrafting your fucking answer
while you're supposedlylistening, right, while you're
supposedly listening.
Right, listen to the wholething that they're saying.
Then come up with what you'regoing to say next.
Right?
That's the key, and I know youand I have talked about that,
(42:10):
you know on numerous occasions,but it needs to be said more and
more and more and more, becausethere's so much noise in the
world and everybody wants to beheard, but nobody wants to
listen anymore.
Yeah, and so we?
Just we have to listen more,because once we listen more, we
can empathize more.
Yeah, we can empathize more,and then we can start connecting
more with people, right?
(42:31):
So, but the first step is toshut the fuck up.
Just just shut up and stoptelling me what you're going to
do.
Just shut up and listen, andthen let's have a conversation
that's back and forth, whereyou're actually listening to
what I have to say and I'mactually listening to what you
have to say, and then we'recrafting responses based off
(42:51):
those words, not what's going onin our head while you're
talking.
Ty Cobb Backer (42:55):
So true, such great advice too.
The know the world needs tolisten more, shut up and and you
know talk less and listen moreand be open-minded and not just
shut your mouth but shut yourmind off, you know, while while
someone's speaking.
And that's something, it's askill, it's something that you
can work on, it's something thatyou can or engage it
differently.
Eric Oberembt (43:16):
Don't shut it off , but engage it differently.
Right, get outside of you andget into them so that you can
actually take in what they'resaying.
Ty Cobb Backer (43:27):
Yeah.
Eric Oberembt (43:28):
Right, and again it's just another way of saying
what you already said.
Right, but like yes, sorry.
Ty Cobb Backer (43:34):
I go on a dance, that's okay.
No, this was today wasdefinitely all about you, eric.
I want to do whatever I can doto support you, because I know
this is going to be an amazingbook.
I am thrilled.
I can't wait to.
I'm tracking it as the days,the minutes go by here until I
get it.
I do feel some kind of way thatI wasn't one of the first
people to have a book.
(43:55):
But uh, it's okay, I'll forgiveyou for that.
You mean, like, because youdidn't just send me a special
copy that was signed?
Eric Oberembt (44:01):
I didn't get one.
Ty Cobb Backer (44:03):
Oh, you didn't get one either I don't know.
Eric Oberembt (44:04):
They literally just sent me my first author
copy yesterday.
Ty Cobb Backer (44:07):
Bastards yeah, I know.
So, yeah, anyhow, otherwise youotherwise you would have been I
was just busting your balls,but I know.
Thank you so much.
I know you gotta get going hereand you're busy.
Thank you for carving out the.
You know the time to come onthe show today.
Uh, congratulations, man.
I can't express that enough.
You know, congrats on the biglaunch of your third book.
(44:29):
But I think this one's trulyspecial.
I can just see the, the, thepassion in your eyes right now
with this, and you should bevery proud of yourself, because
I know that this isn't an easyfeat to to accomplish.
You know.
You know writing a book just initself and then being proud of
it and not really having anyregrets, and so.
So thank you so much, and thankyou for everybody for listening
(44:50):
and chiming in.
If you think anybody out theremay get something from this
podcast, please share this withthem Like love.
Don't forget to subscribe to.
We're on every single frickingplatform now.
Even I heart radio, so don'tforget to check us out.
Share this with with somebodyyou feel that might get
something out of this, andplease go on to Amazon and order
(45:11):
yourself about 10 books.
Send them to Eric He'll.
He'll sign them for you andwe'll put his address in the in
the car.
I'm just kidding, um, justkidding, but no, the office
address.
Eric Oberembt (45:24):
you can put the office address yeah that's fine,
I love you, man, thank you,Thanks, buddy.
Ty Cobb Backer (45:28):
Have a great day you too, yep.
Bye-bye.
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