April 16, 2025 • 46 mins
Ty Cobb-Backer shares his recent journey through a challenging mental "winter" season and how he's emerging with renewed clarity and purpose.
• Mindset impacts everything from physical health to decision-making ability
• The snowball effect of negativity happens gradually, not overnight
• Physical pain can be directly connected to mental stress
• Walking outdoors for 20+ minutes creates a natural state of euphoria
• Creating a "decide list" rather than just a to-do list helps combat decision fatigue
• Helping others is one of the most effective ways to escape self-focused negative thinking
• Three powerful questions to guide decision-making: Will it bring joy now and later? Will it fulfill me? What impact will it have?
• Understanding when you make your best decisions leads to better timing of important choices
• Not making a decision is still making a decision
Join us next week as we explore the high cost of not letting go soon enough. If you know someone who might benefit from these conversations or would make a great guest, please reach out to us at TC Backer.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Ty Cobb Backer (00:00):
And we are live.
Welcome back everybody toBehind the Tool Belt, episode 27
.
Stories are bold, theconversations are real and the
(00:50):
insights come to you live, rawand uncut.
Every week, host Ty Cobb-Backersits down with game changers,
trailblazers and industryleaders who aren't afraid to
tell it like it is no filters,no scripts, just the truth.
Please welcome your host ofBehind the Tool Belt, ty
(01:11):
Cobb-Backer.
Yes, sir, and we are back liveand in the studio today.
Thank you so much for joiningus.
It's honestly hard to believethat we have been doing this as
long as we've been doing this.
I mean today is episode 277.
I don't know if I've ever beenso consistent at anything in my
(01:34):
entire life.
Maybe that's very, very untrue,but, man, I don't know I mean
other than my relationship.
Actually, I shouldn't say that,man, hopefully Jana's not
listening here yet.
I have been very consistent,right, we're a consistent
asshole or whatever with Janaand I've been very faithful is
(01:57):
kind of where I think I wasgoing with that.
But anyhow, thank you guys forjoining us.
And today's one of thoseepisodes where we don't have a
guest.
Vic and I have been, you know,testing and toying around with
different things and you know Ithink I'm digging, you know
doing the solo podcast and stuff.
(02:18):
I know Vic and I are gettingvery creative.
I think we kind of hit likesome fatigue or a plateau there
for a second and we wanted tojust try to mix things up.
For those of you that have beenfollowing us for a while know
that.
You know we haven't had a gueston um.
You know about every other weekor so, and I don't even know if
we're going to have a guest onnext week and we're going to
come up with some topics, andusually a lot of that stuff is
(02:40):
going to pertain to like where Iwas, where I am now.
You know, mentally, physically,spiritually, emotionally.
A lot of this stuff is just youknow really where I'm at and
and some of the the turmoils andtrials and tribulations and
victories and wins that I wouldjust want to really get on here
(03:00):
and experience with, or, youknow, share my experience with,
with people, and I see my, mygood friend, john DeVille, is on
here.
Thanks for joining us today,john, and, and you know, thank
you for the inspiration andalways encouraging me in in
everything that we do.
So thank you, john, for, for,for tuning in and today, you
know, I got three topics thatI'm going to try to touch on a
(03:20):
little bit, and one of them ismindset.
We talk about that a good bit,but I really want to unpack that
a little bit and what thatmeans to me today.
Right, it could mean somethingtotally different to me next
week, but but where I'm at, inmy mental state, which is I'm in
a I'm in a good place?
Um, uh, decision fatigue andand something that I've
struggled with over the yearstoo is like, how do I know that
(03:43):
I'm working on the right thing,right?
Am I wasting my time?
Um, is this going to ever cometo fruition?
Um, should I be working onsomething else?
And then, uh, next week.
I think what I want to discussnext week is, uh, you know, talk
about the high cost of notletting go soon enough, right,
and that that that can take usdown many different rabbit holes
(04:06):
there, all in itself.
But you know unpacking, youknow the mindset.
You know, for me, shuey,mindset is everything.
I mean everything, and I had agreat conversation with a
colleague of mine, a trustedcolleague, yesterday, and, and
the funny thing that came aboutthat conversation was, is that
(04:26):
we were both going through thesame season at the same exact
time and and that's the funnything, you know, expressing or
sharing with somebody that youcan trust.
It's ironic how, how similar weare to to other people and, and
I think a lot of times we, wethink we're, we're different.
(04:49):
No, nobody understands.
You haven't walked in my shoes,you haven't experienced, you
didn't grow up the way that Idid.
Your childhood wasn't the same,whatever, right.
But but what's crazy is if youcan find a, you know, a mentor,
a coach, a friend, a familymember, but somebody, it's got
to be somebody that you cantrust, right, that you can share
things with.
(05:09):
You know, not everybody you canshare things with, but but
there are certain people you canshare things with and in this
conversation I had yesterday, Iwas kind of expressing you know
where, where I, where I was andwhat I'm coming out of right now
.
And Tony Robbins talks a lotabout seasons, right, and I'm
(05:29):
not as brilliant or bright asTony is, but he's been an
inspiration to me.
I've listened to his stuff alot over the years, actually,
and I think it was him and EdMilet, ed, who was on Ed's show
and Ed interviewed him and theywere talking about different
seasons that people go with andyou guys have heard me talk
about, you know, uh, challengesand seasons and things like that
(05:52):
.
And and I recently experienceda winter, you know, and
fortunately it was through thewinter months that that we're
experiencing and, uh, you know,I started to really unpack that
and pull it apart and drill downin and see like, where, where
did it start, you know?
(06:13):
And what was I doing different?
And it doesn't always have to bea winner, doesn't start, I
don't think in a week, I don'tthink it starts in a month, I
don't even think it starts inlike three months, but like it
just doesn't happen.
It does, it gradually, happensover time, and it doesn't
necessarily have to be ignitedby like a passing of a loved one
(06:33):
, because I, dan, and I bothwent through a darker season.
You know, because, becausewinter is when things lie
dormant.
When things lie dormant and ifyou think about the season, you
know, spring is where things arestarting to wake up and blooms
are starting to blossom and thegrass is starting to get greener
and the leaves are growing onthe trees and stuff like that,
and then it's summer, right,summer, things are thriving,
(06:55):
things are going, things arebanging, and then fall comes
right, and we need seasons inorder for things to grow and
replenish and refuel andrecharge and, you know, uh, kill
off insects over the wintermonths, if we have a good winter
.
You know just things that we,we need these seasons in our
life and and for growing Right,and and I, I truly believe that
(07:16):
and.
But, like I was saying.
I don't think it starts likeone day I just wake up and I'm
in a dark season, I'm in awinter, I think for me trying to
think about, like, unwind thisa little bit, like when did this
?
When did I start kind of goingoff the rails?
And it wasn't really anythingin particular.
It was like a series of eventsthat that that have happened.
(07:39):
You know, um, that that I Istarted to kind of go down in
this, uh, insecure, I started tolet things bother me, I started
to I call it the snowballeffect, right, like, and what I
mean by the snowball effect?
Not that a million snowballswere coming at me, necessarily,
but, like you know, if you'restanding on top of a hill and
you pack a nice little snowballand stick it on the ground in
(08:03):
the snow and you roll it downthe hill and by the time it gets
to the bottom, it's this hugesnowball that I feel like I got
ran over by.
And so I was having thisconversation yesterday and and I
don't want to get too intimateand too into the weeds on on
(08:25):
exactly what the conversationwas about but it what it did,
was it weakened.
It weakened my, my, my courageand and my mindset was off, like
where I was pulling back, I waspulling back, I was pulling
back and, and I was pulling back.
I was pulling away from people,I was pulling away from
(08:46):
individuals, places I waspulling away with, with things
in in business and in mypersonal life.
And that's not me.
I'm I'm a driver, I'm ago-getter, I'm I'm filled with
confidence and and I understandwhat.
What got us here won't keep ushere, and and and and I believe
I, I fully believe that, andthat's just, and that's built
(09:09):
into my DNA.
And this is probably the firsttime that I experienced this
pullback of certain people,places, things, and some of it
had to happen, but I think I waspulling back way too much and
it was messing with my mindsetand the importance of a positive
mindset, because you can have anegative mindset and I started
to fall into a, a negative place, you know where.
(09:35):
Um, you know, fear started tocreep in and insecurity started
to creep in and, like I said it,it happened.
It was a slow snowball effectthat that took place and and
there was a couple of thingsthat were eating away at me and
and, uh, you know, uh, and I hadto make some decisions and some
(09:57):
uncomfortable decisions, andthat's why I wanted to talk
about mindset, decision,decision-making, the
procrastination procrastination,you know, and not making a
decision is making a decision,and so the importance of keeping
a positive mindset and how itwill affect people, your loved
(10:18):
ones, right, the positive and ornegative?
Right, like, if I'm go, go, goand I'm just a ray of sunshine
as soon as I walk into thebuilding.
Or am I doom and and?
Or negative?
Right, like if I'm go, go, goand I'm just a ray of sunshine
as soon as I walk into thebuilding.
Or my doom and gloom, right,and, and I think we don't really
pay attention to how muchinfluence we have over other
people's attitudes, right, andtheir feelings and emotions, and
you know, um, until you know,we actually see it in somebody
(10:42):
else, but that that wasn't thecase for me.
I think that's why it's takenso long for me to get my head
out of my ass.
And don't, don't get me wrong.
I'm going through the motions,I'm showing up, I'm suiting up,
I'm, I'm there for my family.
I'm there, you know, uh, for my, my team members, and and and
things like that.
I'm, I'm doing the best that Ican, but it's like this grind,
(11:03):
you know, and I'm not enjoyingmyself.
My mindset was off and, uh, itwas starting to affect me
physically, like it was drainingmy energy.
I didn't feel like I could keepgoing and going, and going and
going.
I'm still working out, I'mstill trying to get, I'm still
trying to do these things.
I'm reading my, my dailyaffirmations and my reflection
books in the morning and I'mstill, you know, connected and
(11:24):
and I, I just, but I wasn'treally grounded right.
There was no intentionality orpurpose.
It was more fear based, like Iwas doing these things out of
necessity, and fear Like, oh myGod, if I don't go to work today
, you know what I mean, causeI'm not one to stay home and
hide under the covers Um, and myback started to hurt a lot.
And again, I I'm aprocrastinator and, believe it
(11:46):
or not, I'm also an introvertand I definitely don't like to
ask for help, like, screw that,like screw, going to the doctors
and explain it to them.
Psychologically, I'm screwed upand just don't feel well, which
I haven't done that for a longtime either.
That's why I have good friends,um, because a doctor would
probably lock me up if I sharedhalf the shit that was going
going through my mind half thetime.
(12:07):
But, um, my back has beenhurting and it's been hurting
for a long time, to the pointwhere it's like I didn't even
realize it was hurting anymoreand causing physical pain.
And so finally I got off mydead ass and I went to the
chiropractor and to come to findout my pelvic was was misplaced
or dislocated or or some shit.
(12:27):
And um, and it fortunately forme, I I have a a a high
tolerance for pain, emotionallyand physically.
Um, so I went, I visited thischiropractor who was recommended
to me, cause I haven't been toa chiropractor in about five
years and, um, you know, and I'mkind of used to being stiff and
sore and stuff, because ofpressure and stress and things
(12:48):
like that, my neck gets stiff, Iget lumps in my back and knots
and and and things like thatwhich you know, I I don't
usually take care of on aregular basis or anything like
that, but when I do, eventuallyit just it feels so much better.
And but my hip was my hip and myback was getting to the point
where I was either havingtrouble falling asleep or it was
waking me up and and my son,rocket, recently got into golf,
(13:11):
which allowed me to startplaying golf again, and this was
probably at the end of lastseason and and I noticed that it
was affecting not just my golfgame cause my golf game sucks
anyhow, but it was a good excusefor my golf game to suck but it
was really affecting my sciaticnerve and my hip and my back.
(13:33):
I almost felt like somethingwas loose back there and it was
grinding together and so I wentand he put me down my it turned
out that my my right leg wasabout an inch shorter than my
left leg and that my hip bonewas hitting against, I think, my
pelvic.
I don't.
I'm not a doctor, nor do I tryto portray one on TV, um, but
(14:00):
wherever the bones were hittingtogether, there's no cartilage
there, like they're not supposedto be clicking together and it
was.
It was creating severe pain andof course I'm I try not to
bitch and cry and complain andmoan.
I just kind of suck it up anddeal with it, cause again, I can
deal with this shit on my own.
I don't need anybody's help,not.
But finally he, he put me downand he he readjusted me and I
(14:22):
got to go back a couple times aweek for the next several,
probably a couple months inorder to get my hip, to get the
muscles and everything, becausethe muscles started to you know
form and your body kind of justgets used to that position.
So now he wants it to get usedto the position that it's
supposed to be in.
(14:43):
And I tried this new, it'scalled Softwave, which had, I
mean immediately, as soon as hehit me with it.
It's like this 303,335 mile perhour volts of something that's
going into your joints, goinginto your muscle, going down to
the bone, like instantaneous.
(15:04):
Now it hurt like hell.
And he said it was supposed tohurt like hell, but that's good.
So anywhere it hurt is where he.
He waved this one and he saidand then he told me to get off
the table and he's like, how doyou feel?
And I had been in pain for solong I was experiencing like
phantom pain, like it took meabout I don't know 60 seconds to
realize that, like shit.
(15:26):
I don't, I don't think I'm,wait, I'm, I'm not experiencing
any pain.
Five years of this shit, orhowever many years it's been to,
at least two years that I'vebeen experiencing, I think we we
pinpointed it because he askedme if I was in a car accident.
I was like no, but I did get myass kicked on a football field
a couple of years ago at thisretreat that I went to, and I
(15:47):
wouldn't change a damn thing.
I'd play just as hard today asI did that day when I got my ass
kicked down there.
And just for the record for anyof you that did see that video
that my trusted friend JohnStauffer posted, he created a
reel that showed me getting myass kicked about three or four
times by a guy that was at least100 pounds heavier than me.
(16:08):
So that was unfair advantage.
But the point is that John wason my team and we were the
oldest guys at this retreat,mind you, and we kicked their
freaking asses.
We kicked their ass.
So that's really.
All that matters is that I gotmy ass kicked to kick their ass.
So score wise, anyhow.
So, long story short, went there, did this, and I'm feeling
better already.
I've been there twice.
(16:29):
I get to go tonight, and soit's just.
You got to take care ofyourself, right.
As uncomfortable as it is toask for help, as uncomfortable
it is to go to the doctors, atleast for me, you know I think
they're quacks half the time,but there's, there's certain
things that you know, especiallyas we get older, even even not
even being older, that we shouldjust just take care of our body
(16:51):
.
So, anyhow, getting back to howyou know, the wrong mindset,
stress, you know, all thesethings can affect your body in
different ways, shapes and forms, and I think, with the season
that I was going through I thinkthat was the point, was the
season that I was going through,was, was, was agitating and
irritating my, my hip and backpain even more.
(17:14):
So when the pain is greatenough, I will get off my dead
ass and do something about it,and it was, the pain was great
enough.
So, and then, obviously,mindset will, will, mess with
you psychologically and mentally.
Right, it'll your, your mind isa powerful thing and it will
tell you things that aren't true.
Um, it will, it will tell youthings that aren't true.
(17:35):
It will tell you that, you know, things are a lot worse than
they are.
And that's kind of what washappening to me and some of the
ways, and I also want todescribe, you know, discuss some
of the ways that I've been ableto get through this and where I
was telling you before where Iwas kind of backing off on
(17:56):
things and one of the biggestthings that that has helped me
over the years that I started toback away from.
One of the things was walking.
I know is as simple and ascommon as going for a walk
outside.
I recommend going for a walkoutside and but if you can't, on
a treadmill indoors, that's,that's great.
Both give you the same physicalbenefits.
(18:19):
But I think walking outside,for me personally, helps me
clear my mind.
You know, no, no book.
Give yourself, you know, a good20 minutes of of just silence
with yourself.
Help you clear your mind.
And breathing in, you know,which is also good for your
immune system is breathing inthe pollens and stuff, and
that's that's kind of really thereal reason I'm suggesting
(18:41):
going for a walk, you know, and,and not even always by yourself
, like with your significantother, with your kids, you know,
a friend, what, whatever thecase might be, and and just just
but, but spend some goodquality quiet time walking, and
it's also, I find it a good timeto to listen to very
intentional books on things thatI'm studying and uh, but
(19:02):
helping me decompress and getaway and remove myself.
And you know, and and they alsosay too and I experienced this
and I actually kind of watchedthe clock as I'm walking is is
that they say you know, after 20minutes of walking, your body
starts to feel like this senseof euphoria, right, and and I'm
sure some people that you knowmight be out of shape or
(19:23):
whatever like that are like yeah, right, I might not be able to
walk for five minutes, but maybeyou should work up.
One of your goals should beworking up to you know walking,
you know 20 minutes.
Don't don't necessarily worryabout how far you get, but maybe
go for a 10 minute walk, turnaround, come back, but by the
end of that 20 minutes, youshould start feeling better
mentally, physically.
Uh, you start feeling this,this state of euphoria.
(19:45):
Now I typically walk two tothree miles, um and and uh,
that's just.
You know I could do it prettyquickly.
Uh, about 20, 20, uh, aboutlittle under 20 minutes a mile,
which isn't like setting theworld on fire or anything like
that, but that's usuallysomewhere between 17 and 20
minutes.
So I usually walk for about 40,45, 50 minutes at a clip and I
(20:07):
do that quite regularly, butagain, it wasn't very
intentional.
Right, like I'm checking emails.
I'm like literally walkingchecking emails.
I'm scrolling Facebook.
I'm rep, literally walkingchecking emails.
I'm scrolling Facebook.
I'm replying back to textmessages because I don't want to
waste that time.
Like, I got to get back, I gotto respond, I got to do all
these things, but, no, put thephone down, if anything.
Listen to a book, a good book,where whatever it is that you
need to advance in, listen tothat book or that podcast, but
(20:32):
but I think the biggest thingwhere I felt like I was was was
stumbling, and I've been toldthis for for many, many years is
is like, um, when things aregoing wrong in my life, um, I
should look to where I can helpsomebody, and simply just
helping somebody.
And I'm not talking about, likeloaning money to somebody or
(20:54):
you know.
I'm talking about like reallydevoting and dedicating some
time, your time, to, to helpingsomebody, whether you're lending
their ear, your, your ear,rather your ear to them, and and
not even necessarily givingadvice, but just listening,
right?
Or helping somebody move I mean, that's probably one of the
hardest things for someone toask help, right?
(21:15):
Is, you know, moving furniture,packing things up, helping them
.
You know how many opportunitieshave we avoided from actually
helping and devoting you know,dedicating our time and helping.
You know, because typically,when we think we're going
through something and we'rereaching out to other people to
help them right and again, I'mnot talking about like cash
(21:40):
register you know they call cashregister honesty but I'm going
to call this like cash registerhelping, right.
I'm not talking about likegiving a, you know, a less
fortunate person on the street$10 or $20.
I'm talking about reallydevoting your time to you know,
and it's been a minute sinceI've actually sat down and
helped work through the stepswith somebody or, you know,
found out where they were,because half the time I think my
(22:01):
problems are so big.
But by the time I listened tosomebody else's problems, I'm
like whoa, whoa, like when Ithought I had it bad, I'm going
to, I'm going to sneak a drinkhere real quick.
But I got to get back todevoting my time right and
(22:24):
energy right and whateverresources that are available to
me and pouring back into peopleand I got to step that up.
I'm not saying that I, Itotally stopped, but it was
almost just kind of likeautopilot, kind of unintentional
you know with, with very littlepurpose, and I'm not I'm not
saying, do this to expect areturn either.
(22:45):
I'm just saying when you, when,when something's wrong with you
, when there's something wrong,there's usually something wrong
with you um, and, and the bestway to get out of you is to get
into somebody else and and anduh, come to find out your, the
issues that you're strugglingwith are minute compared to you
know other people's issues andstuff.
So I'd strongly recommend um,speaking of which you know we're
(23:07):
we're finally going to have ourum community events committee
meeting on Friday.
We're getting back, we'regetting, we're getting.
We haven't done anything sincefor a swing into recovery.
We had a call yesterday withSteven Spence.
Big shout out to Steven Spenceand everything that he's trying
to do for roofers and recoveryand stuff like that.
So, steven, whatever you needfrom us, let us know.
(23:30):
Obviously, you already knowthat, cause we speak on a
regular basis, but the dates andlocation and stuff like that
should be announced, I wouldimagine, in the next three to
four weeks.
I think we're thinking earlyfall this year, not waiting as
long as we did.
We're going to be superintentional so hopefully we can
raise awareness for addictionand all that good stuff
(24:00):
addiction and all that goodstuff and we can get the support
that we received this past year, that we did because that was
absolutely freaking amazing, andthen we got our food drive
coming up at some point in timethat date will be announced I
think we're going to approachthat little bit differently and,
again, these things require alot of time, a lot of energy, a
lot of resources, becauseobviously we can't just do
anything on a small scale.
(24:20):
We got to be grandiose about it, but just because we have so
many people that are willing tohelp.
So what happens is these eventsthat we do are usually pretty,
pretty big.
Um, so you'll be hearing a lotmore about that.
So I guess next next topic,we'll we'll try to dovetail into
(24:43):
one of the symptoms that I wasexperiencing from having like uh
, I don't even want to call it anegative mindset, but just a,
I'm going to call it.
I'm going to chalk it up to apoor, negative mindset, but just
a, I'm going to call it.
I'm going to chalk it up to apoor, a poor, poor, inferior, uh
(25:04):
, mindset.
Um, uh, it started to createdecision fatigue and uh started
to second guess my decisions.
You know, um, because you knowa couple of things didn't quite
work out the way in that seasonthat I was experiencing that I
was talking about earlier.
Um, a couple of things didn'tquite work out the way that, uh,
that I thought you know shouldhave worked out and um, um, and
(25:24):
and not making decisions Right,I touched on that earlier.
I was like I was, I just Iwasn't making any decisions, I
was being very indecisive, Ididn't have much clarity and,
again, touching on how thataffects other people, right,
like, especially here at work,like, if I'm indecisive and not
making decision, I'm not veryclear and I'm hiding out in my
(25:44):
office and things like that.
Well, I can't even imagine whatthat's doing to my coworkers
and my co-leaders if I'm not.
You know, unfortunately, webuilt a great enough team and
the team has actually builtthemselves at this point in time
.
Things were going, but therewas much more that I felt like I
needed to be doing and a lot ofthat's pouring into my team and
that positive energy.
Hence my signature at the endof my email that I stole from
(26:09):
John Gordon.
I'm the CEO, I'm the chiefenergy officer.
I bring the heat, I bring theenergy.
Well, I didn't have any.
I was depl CEO, I'm the chiefenergy officer.
I bring the heat, I bring theenergy.
Well, I didn't have any.
I was depleted.
I felt depleted my energy, mybody was soared, so I I was
suffering.
I felt like I was suffering fromdecision fatigue, like I just
can't think right now, you know,and and this is what's crazy
Like some of the vitamins andstuff that I was taking, like I
(26:39):
actually had to stop, andsupplements, like I had to stop
taking some of this stuff too,like I just I couldn't figure
out what exactly was going on,cause sometimes it takes about
30, 60, 90 days for some ofthese, you know, supplements and
vitamins to really start takingeffect.
And and my body and my system'sa little weird like that, and
I'm I'm trying to find thefountain of youth, so I'm trying
other things and I, you know,and some of that played into the
season that I was experiencing.
It was it was messing with my,my, my thinking, right, it was
(27:01):
making me how I felt indecisiveand procrastinating, and one of
the things that has helped meover the years is obviously, you
know, with with the amount ofthings and businesses that I'm
involved with.
Obviously, to do list right Isis huge, right, but, more
importantly, that I found heremore recently that I actually
(27:23):
forgot about was making a decidelist things that I have to make
decisions on right, make a listof them, get them out.
And what what I found is is bygetting them out of my head and
putting them right on a sheet ofpaper or in your notes, on your
ipad or or whatever device,electronical devices that that
(27:46):
we have today.
I mean, I see some people usingthe uh teachable, not teachable
, uh remarkable which I graduate.
I was using my iPad.
I went to the remarkable, great, great, great tool, um, but I
went back to over to my iPad and, uh, I started to write down.
I start, I created my decidelist.
(28:07):
There was a lot of decisionsthat that have to be made,
because I'm all, I'm a thinker,right, I'm constantly thinking,
not just about today, but I'mthinking about next week, I'm
thinking about next month, nextquarter.
Here we are in the secondquarter, right, and I started to
beat myself up over decisionsthat I should have probably made
in the fourth quarter of lastyear.
There was just certain thingsand again, I was slacking on my
(28:28):
to-do list, you know, and one ofmy goals for the past two new
years was was to remove shit offmy plate and not keep adding
stuff to my plate because I'vedone that year over year over
year, where it's like I'm goingto do this and I'm going to
start doing that, but what aboutall this other shit that is
eating away at me and all theseother broken promises?
Like, let's just stop makingthese promises to myself, right,
(28:51):
and start removing things toactually give space, bandwidth
to filter good, positive things,activities, people, places in
my life.
And, like, I totally went, tooka left turn.
It's I don't know if it wasjanuary 2nd I just started to
like I took a left turn, but Idon't even know what the hell
(29:14):
happened to me.
So when I got it out of my headall these decisions that I felt
like needed to be made, Iactually started to prioritize
them.
Okay, this, this can actuallywait, cause sometimes the best
decision is not to make adecision.
Don't make a move, don't make amove, don't touch a damn thing.
Nothing's broke, don't fix itRight.
(29:35):
So, as I was able to get theseout on this and my notes, my
this, my decide list, not my todo list, but my decide list,
which I actually stole that fromCraig Rochelle, I don't know.
Like 2023, I started to write adecide list and then picking
and choosing times of day.
Started to write a decide listand then picking and choosing
(29:57):
times of day.
When do I make the bestdecisions?
Right?
Is that eight o'clock at night,after I just got my ass kicked
all day at work?
Probably not.
Um?
Is it when my, my kids needhelp with schoolwork?
Probably not.
Right, like so when?
When do I make the bestdecisions?
For me, I make the bestdecisions in the morning, right.
So now I know right.
(30:18):
Tuesdays and Thursdays is mydecision-making days, right On
certain things.
I'm not saying that when peopleknock on my door and they have
a question about something, it'slike Nope, you got to come back
Thursday at 7am because that'sthe day I make my decisions.
Now, can't do that, can't do it.
As a leader, I need to be verydecisive, but knowing myself
(30:41):
right Personal development,personal mastery right Is
knowing yourself.
And when do I think the best?
When do I retain the best?
When do I function the best?
When do I accomplish morethings?
What time of day can I reallyknock some shit out, right, and
for me, a lot of that time is inthe morning, and the earlier
(31:04):
the better, the earlier thebetter, like this morning.
I came up with these topics thismorning, dude, I was just
jamming, I was vibing, I gotthrough my meditation, I did,
and it was like I almost likehad to stop meditating this
morning because I was vibing.
I got through my meditation, Idid, man, and it was like I
almost like had to stopmeditating this morning because
I was like boom, boom, boom,boom.
Nope, get back over here.
And it was like you know what Ihurried up.
I finished my meditation forthe morning and I just started
(31:26):
jamming out.
Um, I got, I got into and Istopped beating myself up over
what time I get to the officetoo.
So I got here probably like 10minutes to seven, literally.
Does anybody know I've been upsince four, 50 this morning, do
you know what I mean?
But I've been jamming sincefive, 15 this morning.
You know what I mean?
Like just rocking out in myhead because, like I told you,
I'm, I'm, I'm on the backside ofthis winter, plus the weather
(31:48):
helps.
I mean the weather finally,finally is starting.
The sun came out the gray,starting to lift and things like
that.
And you know, the older I get,the more I realized, too, that I
suffer from seasonal depression.
Not, you know, I don'tnecessarily suffer from
depression, but, getting back tothe, the list, it frees up my
(32:08):
brain space, it frees up mybandwidth so I can make other
decisions and and stop worryingabout it, cause I'm a worry work
and, uh, you know I touched onum.
You know, uh, setting settingsome time aside.
You know, pick, pick, pick andchoose what they, you know on on
these major decisions, majormoves, things that are going to
affect, you know, people, placesthings in situations that that
(32:40):
that I'm involved with, right.
And and the other thing was toothat I also wanted to bring up
is if, if there is a toughdecision and I can't decide on
my own, is is bringing in like a, a trusted colleague, right,
based upon the topic.
You know what I mean.
Not everybody.
You can share everything withUm and I found that out the hard
way.
That's why I mentioned thatprobably two or three times now.
But trusted friend, a loved one,whatever the case might be like
if there's just somethingthat's like eating away at you
(33:01):
and you can't decide what it is,get an outside perspective on
it, right.
Don't be afraid to ask somebodytheir opinion on something,
because you're going to eitherlike what they have to say or
you're not going to like it, butit will definitely help you
decide which way you're going togo, because either if their
idea is totally stupid and theone that you already had in the
back of your mind because thisis the deal you're going to do,
whatever it is that you want todo, anyhow, that's just the
(33:22):
bottom line.
It's never going to be a goodidea until we think it's a good
idea bottom line and adiscussion on that, right.
And then that kind of dovetailsinto how do I know I'm making
the right decision?
Or how do I know what I'mworking on is the right thing?
Right, because I've I've workedon things and I actually came
up with these three questionsthis morning and, and I'm still,
(33:45):
I'm still, I'm still unpackingthis, but I, I still.
I think it's very important forme to share this with you guys,
because we all struggle withthese things, right, but I don't
hear very many people talkingabout this.
Sue me, okay, I'm, I'm, I thinkI'm half Looney Tunes at times,
(34:05):
but, um, I'm here and I'menjoying this.
I'm enjoying myself, right andand sharing this stuff, my my
experiences, right, I'm notgoing to share something.
I'm going to really try not toshare something that I don't
have experience with.
You know, or have an opinion onsomething that I don't have any
experience with, because thatjust kind of sucks and it's kind
(34:25):
of shitty and I can't back itup.
But, like I said, I want tounpack this Like, how do I know
if I'm working on something?
And I think I think that's aquestion I think we ask
ourselves, like it'd be nodifferent than I guess, uh, you
know, if I decided to just startdigging a hole in the backyard,
right With, I just I got apickaxe, I got my digging bar
(34:49):
and I got a shovel, I'm justgonna start digging a fucking
hole, right, a lot of people aregonna be like, why is he
digging a hole in the backyard?
Quite frankly, I can't answerthat question.
I just start digging the onlything that I know that it brings
me joy.
I just, you know, I don't knowwhat.
The end result is this, but I,I, I it's physically, I like
(35:12):
what it does to me.
Physically, I'm creating asweat and I don't know if I'm
going to dig to China.
So my point is is that it'sbringing?
It's bringing me joy.
I don't know what joy it'sgoing to bring me, but I know
today for instant gratificationbecause I, I, I am, I am an
instant gratification kind ofguy.
I want it here, I want it now.
When's it coming?
(35:33):
I've been spoiled, just likeeveryone else, by Amazon.
Okay, I want that shitovernighted today.
But maybe that was a badmetaphor.
But my point is too, it mightgive me digging this hole, might
give me instant gratification.
But if I thought that through,it's like, okay, now I'm
(35:53):
creating a mess in the backyard,okay, that's going to create
more work, work that I probablydon't want to do.
It's going to ruin the grass,the grass is going to die.
And now I got a hole in mybackyard.
So I got to ask myself it's atwo part question the thing, the
(36:13):
thing that I'm working on rightnow, is it going to bring me
joy?
And if I don't do this thing,will it bring me joy later or
will it bring me pain?
So yes, metaphorically, I'menjoying, I'm digging it, man,
man, and I'm digging this holeto china.
Screw it, I'm gonna dig thisthing, but I I have a moment of
clarity and I'm thinking tomyself I'm not gonna like the
(36:34):
end result of this, I'm notgonna like this, so maybe I
should stop.
Maybe I should just close thishole up right now.
So first part of the question isis is it bringing me joy, am I,
am I feeling joy from this, andwill it give me joy later?
The answer to that second partof the question is no.
So why am I doing it?
(36:54):
Right, and it's almost likegetting high.
Right, I didn't even thinkabout this till right now.
It's almost like like, yes,that instant gratification, I
can drink a beer, I can get high, but the end result I'm not
going to.
I'm not going to feel goodabout myself later.
I'm either going to, you know,I'm going to have a hangover.
Um, it's going to be considereda relapse.
(37:15):
It I'll probably miss anappointment because when I start
drinking, all bets are off.
So why would I pick, pick upthe pickaxe?
Right?
It won't bring me joy later.
The other thing is is does itbring me fulfillment and purpose
?
Now, will I feel fulfilledfilling this hole back up?
(37:37):
I probably will.
It will probably give mefulfillment.
But if I don't fill the hole up, will it give me fulfillment
later?
Will it benefit me or anyoneelse later?
If I don't fill it up, it won't.
It's going to kill the grasswhen it rains, the mud's going
(37:59):
to go down the hill, it's goingto create a mudslide.
It's going to do all thesethings.
So, yes, I need to fill thishole back up and I wish I would
have came up with a bettermetaphor.
Better metaphor, I don't know,it's a tongue twister.
For me it is anyhow Um but um.
So what it is that I'm workingon right now will.
Does it make me feel fulfilled?
(38:21):
Okay, and I guess the secondpart to that question is because
I don't want five or sixdifferent questions, it's going
to be three questions.
You got to ask yourself does itbring me joy?
And if I don't do it, will it?
Will it bring me joy?
Okay, it's the first question.
Second question is is it, doesit make me feel fulfilled?
It does, but if I don't do it,will it make me feel fulfilled?
(38:46):
Question is that probably, if Iprocrastinate, if I prolong it,
I probably won't feel fulfilledlater.
So that means I better do itnow.
It may not give me fulfillment,this second, but I know if I
get through it now I will,because I see the end result.
Right, it's just like workingout, right, I don't see the
(39:07):
gratification.
I don't feel the gratificationtoday.
Shit, I don't even feel it.
Over a week, sometimes a month,you start to feel different.
You start to see, lookdifferent.
People start to realize like,holy shit, you're starting to
look good, whatever, right,right, um, and then I guess the
(39:30):
third question we would askourselves is um will it have
impact negative on people orpositive on people?
Right, if I do this thing today,if I continue to keep working
on this job, on on this task, onthis, on this whatever, what
impact will it have on myselfand on other people?
(39:52):
Will impact people later andinstantly?
Right?
Two part question positively ornegatively, right?
So I think, if you can thinkand and and say these three
questions to yourself, does itbring me joy now and will it
bring me joy later?
Will it make me feel fulfilledtoday or will it make me feel
(40:16):
fulfilled later?
Will it have a positive impacton people today or a negative
impact on people later if I door don't do something right?
And I think that has given me,that has given me, personally,
so much clarity on my decisionmaking, right, especially when
(40:37):
I'm suffering from this decisionfatigue.
Right, it helps me with mymindset If I can grind through
this, because I know the endresult.
I'm going to get paid, it'sgoing to impact other people so
they can get paid, and then theycan impact other people so they
can get paid, or they canprovide for people, if you want
to look at it in terms ofmonetarily, right.
(40:57):
Or am I going to do some thingsthat people don't even don't
even realize where thesemiracles came from?
Right, because I I love doingstuff like that, where people
don't realize, um, you know, itwas because of something that we
did that impacted them later,right, um, but but if you look
at all of the, all three ofthese questions, it it all has
(41:19):
to do with.
It starts with me, first andforemost, personal development
is an inside job.
Professional development, Idon't give a shit.
It's an inside job, right?
It's the six inch between myears, it's the things I'm
working on behind closed doors,it's the promises that I'm
keeping to myself, and it's thepromises that I'm breaking to
myself that will screw up thatpsyche, that will screw up that
(41:41):
mindset.
That will screw up my paradigm,my perception psyche.
That will screw up that mindset.
That will screw up my paradigm,my perception man.
I've I've ever had myperception screwed up here
lately, but I really wanted toshare.
I really wanted to.
I felt like I really needed toget a lot of that off my chest.
You know of, of, and maybe ifthere's somebody else out there
(42:02):
I don't know who's out there isa I see Johnny Stauffer out
there.
I'm going to take a drink herereal quick.
I feel like there's about 12,13, 14, 15 people out there
listening right now.
If anybody has any questions orwant me to unpack or unwind
(42:23):
something a little more on thetopic, what's up, john?
Good to see you, buddy.
Um, you know, and John's a goodexample of of where I feel like
um, I may have been influencingor impacting him over the past
several months.
Whether he notices, noticed itor not, I, I feel like and maybe
(42:47):
I'm giving myself entirely waytoo much credit for for having
impact over people or whatever,but I'm sure he's noticed, but
let's chalk it up to noticed mebeing in a funk over the past um
several months where I just Ihaven't been very creative Um,
and John and I and Vic um, Idon't want to leave you out of
(43:08):
that circle of of creativityeither, but John and I, man,
usually just jam out onmarketing.
I love marketing, I love brandUm, I love bringing new ideas to
the table on how to market ourbrand and bring brand awareness
and I just feel like I've beenin a dumpster when it comes to
creativity.
But, john, just so you know, Ihave a lot of great ideas.
(43:30):
I think I shared a couple withyou the other day and that's
what I mean in terms ofaffecting John.
It's John's job to market andbrand our company and if I'm not
bringing ideas right, wrong,indifferent, bad ideas whatever
to his attention, then hedoesn't know where I'm not
bringing ideas right, wrong,indifferent, bad ideas whatever
to his attention, then hedoesn't know where I'm at, he
doesn't know what direction.
Right, because I'm the driverhere.
(43:51):
I'm driving this right andthat's the important thing and
my colleague that I was speakingwith yesterday we were speaking
in terms of our family members,right, and the impact that we
have on them, good and bad,because of our moods, because of
our you know behaviors andthings and how we affect them.
(44:13):
You know, because misery enjoyscompany and it's like when I'm
miserable I'm not happy untilyou're miserable.
So I'm going to go out of myway to make you miserable.
Do I want to live like thattoday?
I absolutely positively do notwant to live you miserable.
Do I want to live like thattoday?
I absolutely positively do notwant to live that way.
And there's there's, there's myold friend David Bruno.
David, we need to get you onthe show here sooner rather than
(44:35):
later.
And also I want to talk to youabout hosting another networking
event or something, or at leastmaybe helping me start.
You know, a little networkingthing here at TC Backer, which
is another thing that you know,I think you know get us all out
of our shell here a little bit.
This winter shell that we'vebeen in you know most
(44:55):
effectively here me lately, andagain I see I've rubbed off on
Vic a little bit too.
You know what I mean, and that'snot good, it's not good for
anybody.
And uh, you know.
So if anybody's going through afunk, you know it's short-term
funk, long-term funk, or youjust can't put your quite, can't
put your finger on what thehell is going on.
Open up, reach out to meanytime, through messenger,
(45:18):
through, through whatever, and,uh, you know, um, I'm here.
I'm here for anybody.
Life is entirely too short tobe miserable, but I think I ran
my mouth long enough.
Next week I want to dive intoand I'm sure I'll circle back to
, some of these topics next week, but next week I really want to
(45:40):
discuss the high cost of notletting go.
So, if anybody's got anyquestions, please, in the
comments.
If you're catching this on thereplay, thank you for joining us
.
But if you catch this on thereplay, if you got any questions
that were a topic that thatyou'd like to hear me discuss,
and if you find any value to anyof this, and if you know
anybody else that that mightfind value in this, please,
(46:01):
please, share this with them.
And if you know of anybody thatmight be a good guest to come
on the show to talk about somedeep shit, uh, by all means,
reach out to Vic myself, john,anybody here at TC backer, um,
reach out to us and we'll see ifwe can't get you on the show.
And again, if you got a topicthat you want me to talk about,
discuss, please don't hesitate.
But until next week, you guystake care of each other and
(46:24):
enjoy this great.
And we are live.
Welcome back everybody toBehind the Tool Belt, episode 27
.
Stories are bold, theconversations are real and the
(00:50):
insights come to you live, rawand uncut.
Every week, host Ty Cobb-Backersits down with game changers,
trailblazers and industryleaders who aren't afraid to
tell it like it is no filters,no scripts, just the truth.
Please welcome your host ofBehind the Tool Belt, ty
(01:11):
Cobb-Backer.
Yes, sir, and we are back liveand in the studio today.
Thank you so much for joiningus.
It's honestly hard to believethat we have been doing this as
long as we've been doing this.
I mean today is episode 277.
I don't know if I've ever beenso consistent at anything in my
(01:34):
entire life.
Maybe that's very, very untrue,but, man, I don't know I mean
other than my relationship.
Actually, I shouldn't say that,man, hopefully Jana's not
listening here yet.
I have been very consistent,right, we're a consistent
asshole or whatever with Janaand I've been very faithful is
(01:57):
kind of where I think I wasgoing with that.
But anyhow, thank you guys forjoining us.
And today's one of thoseepisodes where we don't have a
guest.
Vic and I have been, you know,testing and toying around with
different things and you know Ithink I'm digging, you know
doing the solo podcast and stuff.
(02:18):
I know Vic and I are gettingvery creative.
I think we kind of hit likesome fatigue or a plateau there
for a second and we wanted tojust try to mix things up.
For those of you that have beenfollowing us for a while know
that.
You know we haven't had a gueston um.
You know about every other weekor so, and I don't even know if
we're going to have a guest onnext week and we're going to
come up with some topics, andusually a lot of that stuff is
(02:40):
going to pertain to like where Iwas, where I am now.
You know, mentally, physically,spiritually, emotionally.
A lot of this stuff is just youknow really where I'm at and
and some of the the turmoils andtrials and tribulations and
victories and wins that I wouldjust want to really get on here
(03:00):
and experience with, or, youknow, share my experience with,
with people, and I see my, mygood friend, john DeVille, is on
here.
Thanks for joining us today,john, and, and you know, thank
you for the inspiration andalways encouraging me in in
everything that we do.
So thank you, john, for, for,for tuning in and today, you
know, I got three topics thatI'm going to try to touch on a
(03:20):
little bit, and one of them ismindset.
We talk about that a good bit,but I really want to unpack that
a little bit and what thatmeans to me today.
Right, it could mean somethingtotally different to me next
week, but but where I'm at, inmy mental state, which is I'm in
a I'm in a good place?
Um, uh, decision fatigue andand something that I've
struggled with over the yearstoo is like, how do I know that
(03:43):
I'm working on the right thing,right?
Am I wasting my time?
Um, is this going to ever cometo fruition?
Um, should I be working onsomething else?
And then, uh, next week.
I think what I want to discussnext week is, uh, you know, talk
about the high cost of notletting go soon enough, right,
and that that that can take usdown many different rabbit holes
(04:06):
there, all in itself.
But you know unpacking, youknow the mindset.
You know, for me, shuey,mindset is everything.
I mean everything, and I had agreat conversation with a
colleague of mine, a trustedcolleague, yesterday, and, and
the funny thing that came aboutthat conversation was, is that
(04:26):
we were both going through thesame season at the same exact
time and and that's the funnything, you know, expressing or
sharing with somebody that youcan trust.
It's ironic how, how similar weare to to other people and, and
I think a lot of times we, wethink we're, we're different.
(04:49):
No, nobody understands.
You haven't walked in my shoes,you haven't experienced, you
didn't grow up the way that Idid.
Your childhood wasn't the same,whatever, right.
But but what's crazy is if youcan find a, you know, a mentor,
a coach, a friend, a familymember, but somebody, it's got
to be somebody that you cantrust, right, that you can share
things with.
(05:09):
You know, not everybody you canshare things with, but but
there are certain people you canshare things with and in this
conversation I had yesterday, Iwas kind of expressing you know
where, where I, where I was andwhat I'm coming out of right now
.
And Tony Robbins talks a lotabout seasons, right, and I'm
(05:29):
not as brilliant or bright asTony is, but he's been an
inspiration to me.
I've listened to his stuff alot over the years, actually,
and I think it was him and EdMilet, ed, who was on Ed's show
and Ed interviewed him and theywere talking about different
seasons that people go with andyou guys have heard me talk
about, you know, uh, challengesand seasons and things like that
(05:52):
.
And and I recently experienceda winter, you know, and
fortunately it was through thewinter months that that we're
experiencing and, uh, you know,I started to really unpack that
and pull it apart and drill downin and see like, where, where
did it start, you know?
(06:13):
And what was I doing different?
And it doesn't always have to bea winner, doesn't start, I
don't think in a week, I don'tthink it starts in a month, I
don't even think it starts inlike three months, but like it
just doesn't happen.
It does, it gradually, happensover time, and it doesn't
necessarily have to be ignitedby like a passing of a loved one
(06:33):
, because I, dan, and I bothwent through a darker season.
You know, because, becausewinter is when things lie
dormant.
When things lie dormant and ifyou think about the season, you
know, spring is where things arestarting to wake up and blooms
are starting to blossom and thegrass is starting to get greener
and the leaves are growing onthe trees and stuff like that,
and then it's summer, right,summer, things are thriving,
(06:55):
things are going, things arebanging, and then fall comes
right, and we need seasons inorder for things to grow and
replenish and refuel andrecharge and, you know, uh, kill
off insects over the wintermonths, if we have a good winter
.
You know just things that we,we need these seasons in our
life and and for growing Right,and and I, I truly believe that
(07:16):
and.
But, like I was saying.
I don't think it starts likeone day I just wake up and I'm
in a dark season, I'm in awinter, I think for me trying to
think about, like, unwind thisa little bit, like when did this
?
When did I start kind of goingoff the rails?
And it wasn't really anythingin particular.
It was like a series of eventsthat that that have happened.
(07:39):
You know, um, that that I Istarted to kind of go down in
this, uh, insecure, I started tolet things bother me, I started
to I call it the snowballeffect, right, like, and what I
mean by the snowball effect?
Not that a million snowballswere coming at me, necessarily,
but, like you know, if you'restanding on top of a hill and
you pack a nice little snowballand stick it on the ground in
(08:03):
the snow and you roll it downthe hill and by the time it gets
to the bottom, it's this hugesnowball that I feel like I got
ran over by.
And so I was having thisconversation yesterday and and I
don't want to get too intimateand too into the weeds on on
(08:25):
exactly what the conversationwas about but it what it did,
was it weakened.
It weakened my, my, my courageand and my mindset was off, like
where I was pulling back, I waspulling back, I was pulling
back and, and I was pulling back.
I was pulling away from people,I was pulling away from
(08:46):
individuals, places I waspulling away with, with things
in in business and in mypersonal life.
And that's not me.
I'm I'm a driver, I'm ago-getter, I'm I'm filled with
confidence and and I understandwhat.
What got us here won't keep ushere, and and and and I believe
I, I fully believe that, andthat's just, and that's built
(09:09):
into my DNA.
And this is probably the firsttime that I experienced this
pullback of certain people,places, things, and some of it
had to happen, but I think I waspulling back way too much and
it was messing with my mindsetand the importance of a positive
mindset, because you can have anegative mindset and I started
to fall into a, a negative place, you know where.
(09:35):
Um, you know, fear started tocreep in and insecurity started
to creep in and, like I said it,it happened.
It was a slow snowball effectthat that took place and and
there was a couple of thingsthat were eating away at me and
and, uh, you know, uh, and I hadto make some decisions and some
(09:57):
uncomfortable decisions, andthat's why I wanted to talk
about mindset, decision,decision-making, the
procrastination procrastination,you know, and not making a
decision is making a decision,and so the importance of keeping
a positive mindset and how itwill affect people, your loved
(10:18):
ones, right, the positive and ornegative?
Right, like, if I'm go, go, goand I'm just a ray of sunshine
as soon as I walk into thebuilding.
Or am I doom and and?
Or negative?
Right, like if I'm go, go, goand I'm just a ray of sunshine
as soon as I walk into thebuilding.
Or my doom and gloom, right,and, and I think we don't really
pay attention to how muchinfluence we have over other
people's attitudes, right, andtheir feelings and emotions, and
you know, um, until you know,we actually see it in somebody
(10:42):
else, but that that wasn't thecase for me.
I think that's why it's takenso long for me to get my head
out of my ass.
And don't, don't get me wrong.
I'm going through the motions,I'm showing up, I'm suiting up,
I'm, I'm there for my family.
I'm there, you know, uh, for my, my team members, and and and
things like that.
I'm, I'm doing the best that Ican, but it's like this grind,
(11:03):
you know, and I'm not enjoyingmyself.
My mindset was off and, uh, itwas starting to affect me
physically, like it was drainingmy energy.
I didn't feel like I could keepgoing and going, and going and
going.
I'm still working out, I'mstill trying to get, I'm still
trying to do these things.
I'm reading my, my dailyaffirmations and my reflection
books in the morning and I'mstill, you know, connected and
(11:24):
and I, I just, but I wasn'treally grounded right.
There was no intentionality orpurpose.
It was more fear based, like Iwas doing these things out of
necessity, and fear Like, oh myGod, if I don't go to work today
, you know what I mean, causeI'm not one to stay home and
hide under the covers Um, and myback started to hurt a lot.
And again, I I'm aprocrastinator and, believe it
(11:46):
or not, I'm also an introvertand I definitely don't like to
ask for help, like, screw that,like screw, going to the doctors
and explain it to them.
Psychologically, I'm screwed upand just don't feel well, which
I haven't done that for a longtime either.
That's why I have good friends,um, because a doctor would
probably lock me up if I sharedhalf the shit that was going
going through my mind half thetime.
(12:07):
But, um, my back has beenhurting and it's been hurting
for a long time, to the pointwhere it's like I didn't even
realize it was hurting anymoreand causing physical pain.
And so finally I got off mydead ass and I went to the
chiropractor and to come to findout my pelvic was was misplaced
or dislocated or or some shit.
(12:27):
And um, and it fortunately forme, I I have a a a high
tolerance for pain, emotionallyand physically.
Um, so I went, I visited thischiropractor who was recommended
to me, cause I haven't been toa chiropractor in about five
years and, um, you know, and I'mkind of used to being stiff and
sore and stuff, because ofpressure and stress and things
(12:48):
like that, my neck gets stiff, Iget lumps in my back and knots
and and and things like thatwhich you know, I I don't
usually take care of on aregular basis or anything like
that, but when I do, eventuallyit just it feels so much better.
And but my hip was my hip and myback was getting to the point
where I was either havingtrouble falling asleep or it was
waking me up and and my son,rocket, recently got into golf,
(13:11):
which allowed me to startplaying golf again, and this was
probably at the end of lastseason and and I noticed that it
was affecting not just my golfgame cause my golf game sucks
anyhow, but it was a good excusefor my golf game to suck but it
was really affecting my sciaticnerve and my hip and my back.
(13:33):
I almost felt like somethingwas loose back there and it was
grinding together and so I wentand he put me down my it turned
out that my my right leg wasabout an inch shorter than my
left leg and that my hip bonewas hitting against, I think, my
pelvic.
I don't.
I'm not a doctor, nor do I tryto portray one on TV, um, but
(14:00):
wherever the bones were hittingtogether, there's no cartilage
there, like they're not supposedto be clicking together and it
was.
It was creating severe pain andof course I'm I try not to
bitch and cry and complain andmoan.
I just kind of suck it up anddeal with it, cause again, I can
deal with this shit on my own.
I don't need anybody's help,not.
But finally he, he put me downand he he readjusted me and I
(14:22):
got to go back a couple times aweek for the next several,
probably a couple months inorder to get my hip, to get the
muscles and everything, becausethe muscles started to you know
form and your body kind of justgets used to that position.
So now he wants it to get usedto the position that it's
supposed to be in.
(14:43):
And I tried this new, it'scalled Softwave, which had, I
mean immediately, as soon as hehit me with it.
It's like this 303,335 mile perhour volts of something that's
going into your joints, goinginto your muscle, going down to
the bone, like instantaneous.
(15:04):
Now it hurt like hell.
And he said it was supposed tohurt like hell, but that's good.
So anywhere it hurt is where he.
He waved this one and he saidand then he told me to get off
the table and he's like, how doyou feel?
And I had been in pain for solong I was experiencing like
phantom pain, like it took meabout I don't know 60 seconds to
realize that, like shit.
(15:26):
I don't, I don't think I'm,wait, I'm, I'm not experiencing
any pain.
Five years of this shit, orhowever many years it's been to,
at least two years that I'vebeen experiencing, I think we we
pinpointed it because he askedme if I was in a car accident.
I was like no, but I did get myass kicked on a football field
a couple of years ago at thisretreat that I went to, and I
(15:47):
wouldn't change a damn thing.
I'd play just as hard today asI did that day when I got my ass
kicked down there.
And just for the record for anyof you that did see that video
that my trusted friend JohnStauffer posted, he created a
reel that showed me getting myass kicked about three or four
times by a guy that was at least100 pounds heavier than me.
(16:08):
So that was unfair advantage.
But the point is that John wason my team and we were the
oldest guys at this retreat,mind you, and we kicked their
freaking asses.
We kicked their ass.
So that's really.
All that matters is that I gotmy ass kicked to kick their ass.
So score wise, anyhow.
So, long story short, went there, did this, and I'm feeling
better already.
I've been there twice.
(16:29):
I get to go tonight, and soit's just.
You got to take care ofyourself, right.
As uncomfortable as it is toask for help, as uncomfortable
it is to go to the doctors, atleast for me, you know I think
they're quacks half the time,but there's, there's certain
things that you know, especiallyas we get older, even even not
even being older, that we shouldjust just take care of our body
(16:51):
.
So, anyhow, getting back to howyou know, the wrong mindset,
stress, you know, all thesethings can affect your body in
different ways, shapes and forms, and I think, with the season
that I was going through I thinkthat was the point, was the
season that I was going through,was, was, was agitating and
irritating my, my hip and backpain even more.
(17:14):
So when the pain is greatenough, I will get off my dead
ass and do something about it,and it was, the pain was great
enough.
So, and then, obviously,mindset will, will, mess with
you psychologically and mentally.
Right, it'll your, your mind isa powerful thing and it will
tell you things that aren't true.
Um, it will, it will tell youthings that aren't true.
(17:35):
It will tell you that, you know, things are a lot worse than
they are.
And that's kind of what washappening to me and some of the
ways, and I also want todescribe, you know, discuss some
of the ways that I've been ableto get through this and where I
was telling you before where Iwas kind of backing off on
(17:56):
things and one of the biggestthings that that has helped me
over the years that I started toback away from.
One of the things was walking.
I know is as simple and ascommon as going for a walk
outside.
I recommend going for a walkoutside and but if you can't, on
a treadmill indoors, that's,that's great.
Both give you the same physicalbenefits.
(18:19):
But I think walking outside,for me personally, helps me
clear my mind.
You know, no, no book.
Give yourself, you know, a good20 minutes of of just silence
with yourself.
Help you clear your mind.
And breathing in, you know,which is also good for your
immune system is breathing inthe pollens and stuff, and
that's that's kind of really thereal reason I'm suggesting
(18:41):
going for a walk, you know, and,and not even always by yourself
, like with your significantother, with your kids, you know,
a friend, what, whatever thecase might be, and and just just
but, but spend some goodquality quiet time walking, and
it's also, I find it a good timeto to listen to very
intentional books on things thatI'm studying and uh, but
(19:02):
helping me decompress and getaway and remove myself.
And you know, and and they alsosay too and I experienced this
and I actually kind of watchedthe clock as I'm walking is is
that they say you know, after 20minutes of walking, your body
starts to feel like this senseof euphoria, right, and and I'm
sure some people that you knowmight be out of shape or
(19:23):
whatever like that are like yeah, right, I might not be able to
walk for five minutes, but maybeyou should work up.
One of your goals should beworking up to you know walking,
you know 20 minutes.
Don't don't necessarily worryabout how far you get, but maybe
go for a 10 minute walk, turnaround, come back, but by the
end of that 20 minutes, youshould start feeling better
mentally, physically.
Uh, you start feeling this,this state of euphoria.
(19:45):
Now I typically walk two tothree miles, um and and uh,
that's just.
You know I could do it prettyquickly.
Uh, about 20, 20, uh, aboutlittle under 20 minutes a mile,
which isn't like setting theworld on fire or anything like
that, but that's usuallysomewhere between 17 and 20
minutes.
So I usually walk for about 40,45, 50 minutes at a clip and I
(20:07):
do that quite regularly, butagain, it wasn't very
intentional.
Right, like I'm checking emails.
I'm like literally walkingchecking emails.
I'm scrolling Facebook.
I'm rep, literally walkingchecking emails.
I'm scrolling Facebook.
I'm replying back to textmessages because I don't want to
waste that time.
Like, I got to get back, I gotto respond, I got to do all
these things, but, no, put thephone down, if anything.
Listen to a book, a good book,where whatever it is that you
need to advance in, listen tothat book or that podcast, but
(20:32):
but I think the biggest thingwhere I felt like I was was was
stumbling, and I've been toldthis for for many, many years is
is like, um, when things aregoing wrong in my life, um, I
should look to where I can helpsomebody, and simply just
helping somebody.
And I'm not talking about, likeloaning money to somebody or
(20:54):
you know.
I'm talking about like reallydevoting and dedicating some
time, your time, to, to helpingsomebody, whether you're lending
their ear, your, your ear,rather your ear to them, and and
not even necessarily givingadvice, but just listening,
right?
Or helping somebody move I mean, that's probably one of the
hardest things for someone toask help, right?
(21:15):
Is, you know, moving furniture,packing things up, helping them
.
You know how many opportunitieshave we avoided from actually
helping and devoting you know,dedicating our time and helping.
You know, because typically,when we think we're going
through something and we'rereaching out to other people to
help them right and again, I'mnot talking about like cash
(21:40):
register you know they call cashregister honesty but I'm going
to call this like cash registerhelping, right.
I'm not talking about likegiving a, you know, a less
fortunate person on the street$10 or $20.
I'm talking about reallydevoting your time to you know,
and it's been a minute sinceI've actually sat down and
helped work through the stepswith somebody or, you know,
found out where they were,because half the time I think my
(22:01):
problems are so big.
But by the time I listened tosomebody else's problems, I'm
like whoa, whoa, like when Ithought I had it bad, I'm going
to, I'm going to sneak a drinkhere real quick.
But I got to get back todevoting my time right and
(22:24):
energy right and whateverresources that are available to
me and pouring back into peopleand I got to step that up.
I'm not saying that I, Itotally stopped, but it was
almost just kind of likeautopilot, kind of unintentional
you know with, with very littlepurpose, and I'm not I'm not
saying, do this to expect areturn either.
(22:45):
I'm just saying when you, when,when something's wrong with you
, when there's something wrong,there's usually something wrong
with you um, and, and the bestway to get out of you is to get
into somebody else and and anduh, come to find out your, the
issues that you're strugglingwith are minute compared to you
know other people's issues andstuff.
So I'd strongly recommend um,speaking of which you know we're
(23:07):
we're finally going to have ourum community events committee
meeting on Friday.
We're getting back, we'regetting, we're getting.
We haven't done anything sincefor a swing into recovery.
We had a call yesterday withSteven Spence.
Big shout out to Steven Spenceand everything that he's trying
to do for roofers and recoveryand stuff like that.
So, steven, whatever you needfrom us, let us know.
(23:30):
Obviously, you already knowthat, cause we speak on a
regular basis, but the dates andlocation and stuff like that
should be announced, I wouldimagine, in the next three to
four weeks.
I think we're thinking earlyfall this year, not waiting as
long as we did.
We're going to be superintentional so hopefully we can
raise awareness for addictionand all that good stuff
(24:00):
addiction and all that goodstuff and we can get the support
that we received this past year, that we did because that was
absolutely freaking amazing, andthen we got our food drive
coming up at some point in timethat date will be announced I
think we're going to approachthat little bit differently and,
again, these things require alot of time, a lot of energy, a
lot of resources, becauseobviously we can't just do
anything on a small scale.
(24:20):
We got to be grandiose about it, but just because we have so
many people that are willing tohelp.
So what happens is these eventsthat we do are usually pretty,
pretty big.
Um, so you'll be hearing a lotmore about that.
So I guess next next topic,we'll we'll try to dovetail into
(24:43):
one of the symptoms that I wasexperiencing from having like uh
, I don't even want to call it anegative mindset, but just a,
I'm going to call it.
I'm going to chalk it up to apoor, negative mindset, but just
a, I'm going to call it.
I'm going to chalk it up to apoor, a poor, poor, inferior, uh
(25:04):
, mindset.
Um, uh, it started to createdecision fatigue and uh started
to second guess my decisions.
You know, um, because you knowa couple of things didn't quite
work out the way in that seasonthat I was experiencing that I
was talking about earlier.
Um, a couple of things didn'tquite work out the way that, uh,
that I thought you know shouldhave worked out and um, um, and
(25:24):
and not making decisions Right,I touched on that earlier.
I was like I was, I just Iwasn't making any decisions, I
was being very indecisive, Ididn't have much clarity and,
again, touching on how thataffects other people, right,
like, especially here at work,like, if I'm indecisive and not
making decision, I'm not veryclear and I'm hiding out in my
(25:44):
office and things like that.
Well, I can't even imagine whatthat's doing to my coworkers
and my co-leaders if I'm not.
You know, unfortunately, webuilt a great enough team and
the team has actually builtthemselves at this point in time
.
Things were going, but therewas much more that I felt like I
needed to be doing and a lot ofthat's pouring into my team and
that positive energy.
Hence my signature at the endof my email that I stole from
(26:09):
John Gordon.
I'm the CEO, I'm the chiefenergy officer.
I bring the heat, I bring theenergy.
Well, I didn't have any.
I was depl CEO, I'm the chiefenergy officer.
I bring the heat, I bring theenergy.
Well, I didn't have any.
I was depleted.
I felt depleted my energy, mybody was soared, so I I was
suffering.
I felt like I was suffering fromdecision fatigue, like I just
can't think right now, you know,and and this is what's crazy
Like some of the vitamins andstuff that I was taking, like I
(26:39):
actually had to stop, andsupplements, like I had to stop
taking some of this stuff too,like I just I couldn't figure
out what exactly was going on,cause sometimes it takes about
30, 60, 90 days for some ofthese, you know, supplements and
vitamins to really start takingeffect.
And and my body and my system'sa little weird like that, and
I'm I'm trying to find thefountain of youth, so I'm trying
other things and I, you know,and some of that played into the
season that I was experiencing.
It was it was messing with my,my, my thinking, right, it was
(27:01):
making me how I felt indecisiveand procrastinating, and one of
the things that has helped meover the years is obviously, you
know, with with the amount ofthings and businesses that I'm
involved with.
Obviously, to do list right Isis huge, right, but, more
importantly, that I found heremore recently that I actually
(27:23):
forgot about was making a decidelist things that I have to make
decisions on right, make a listof them, get them out.
And what what I found is is bygetting them out of my head and
putting them right on a sheet ofpaper or in your notes, on your
ipad or or whatever device,electronical devices that that
(27:46):
we have today.
I mean, I see some people usingthe uh teachable, not teachable
, uh remarkable which I graduate.
I was using my iPad.
I went to the remarkable, great, great, great tool, um, but I
went back to over to my iPad and, uh, I started to write down.
I start, I created my decidelist.
(28:07):
There was a lot of decisionsthat that have to be made,
because I'm all, I'm a thinker,right, I'm constantly thinking,
not just about today, but I'mthinking about next week, I'm
thinking about next month, nextquarter.
Here we are in the secondquarter, right, and I started to
beat myself up over decisionsthat I should have probably made
in the fourth quarter of lastyear.
There was just certain thingsand again, I was slacking on my
(28:28):
to-do list, you know, and one ofmy goals for the past two new
years was was to remove shit offmy plate and not keep adding
stuff to my plate because I'vedone that year over year over
year, where it's like I'm goingto do this and I'm going to
start doing that, but what aboutall this other shit that is
eating away at me and all theseother broken promises?
Like, let's just stop makingthese promises to myself, right,
(28:51):
and start removing things toactually give space, bandwidth
to filter good, positive things,activities, people, places in
my life.
And, like, I totally went, tooka left turn.
It's I don't know if it wasjanuary 2nd I just started to
like I took a left turn, but Idon't even know what the hell
(29:14):
happened to me.
So when I got it out of my headall these decisions that I felt
like needed to be made, Iactually started to prioritize
them.
Okay, this, this can actuallywait, cause sometimes the best
decision is not to make adecision.
Don't make a move, don't make amove, don't touch a damn thing.
Nothing's broke, don't fix itRight.
(29:35):
So, as I was able to get theseout on this and my notes, my
this, my decide list, not my todo list, but my decide list,
which I actually stole that fromCraig Rochelle, I don't know.
Like 2023, I started to write adecide list and then picking
and choosing times of day.
Started to write a decide listand then picking and choosing
(29:57):
times of day.
When do I make the bestdecisions?
Right?
Is that eight o'clock at night,after I just got my ass kicked
all day at work?
Probably not.
Um?
Is it when my, my kids needhelp with schoolwork?
Probably not.
Right, like so when?
When do I make the bestdecisions?
For me, I make the bestdecisions in the morning, right.
So now I know right.
(30:18):
Tuesdays and Thursdays is mydecision-making days, right On
certain things.
I'm not saying that when peopleknock on my door and they have
a question about something, it'slike Nope, you got to come back
Thursday at 7am because that'sthe day I make my decisions.
Now, can't do that, can't do it.
As a leader, I need to be verydecisive, but knowing myself
(30:41):
right Personal development,personal mastery right Is
knowing yourself.
And when do I think the best?
When do I retain the best?
When do I function the best?
When do I accomplish morethings?
What time of day can I reallyknock some shit out, right, and
for me, a lot of that time is inthe morning, and the earlier
(31:04):
the better, the earlier thebetter, like this morning.
I came up with these topics thismorning, dude, I was just
jamming, I was vibing, I gotthrough my meditation, I did,
and it was like I almost likehad to stop meditating this
morning because I was vibing.
I got through my meditation, Idid, man, and it was like I
almost like had to stopmeditating this morning because
I was like boom, boom, boom,boom.
Nope, get back over here.
And it was like you know what Ihurried up.
I finished my meditation forthe morning and I just started
(31:26):
jamming out.
Um, I got, I got into and Istopped beating myself up over
what time I get to the officetoo.
So I got here probably like 10minutes to seven, literally.
Does anybody know I've been upsince four, 50 this morning, do
you know what I mean?
But I've been jamming sincefive, 15 this morning.
You know what I mean?
Like just rocking out in myhead because, like I told you,
I'm, I'm, I'm on the backside ofthis winter, plus the weather
(31:48):
helps.
I mean the weather finally,finally is starting.
The sun came out the gray,starting to lift and things like
that.
And you know, the older I get,the more I realized, too, that I
suffer from seasonal depression.
Not, you know, I don'tnecessarily suffer from
depression, but, getting back tothe, the list, it frees up my
(32:08):
brain space, it frees up mybandwidth so I can make other
decisions and and stop worryingabout it, cause I'm a worry work
and, uh, you know I touched onum.
You know, uh, setting settingsome time aside.
You know, pick, pick, pick andchoose what they, you know on on
these major decisions, majormoves, things that are going to
affect, you know, people, placesthings in situations that that
(32:40):
that I'm involved with, right.
And and the other thing was toothat I also wanted to bring up
is if, if there is a toughdecision and I can't decide on
my own, is is bringing in like a, a trusted colleague, right,
based upon the topic.
You know what I mean.
Not everybody.
You can share everything withUm and I found that out the hard
way.
That's why I mentioned thatprobably two or three times now.
But trusted friend, a loved one,whatever the case might be like
if there's just somethingthat's like eating away at you
(33:01):
and you can't decide what it is,get an outside perspective on
it, right.
Don't be afraid to ask somebodytheir opinion on something,
because you're going to eitherlike what they have to say or
you're not going to like it, butit will definitely help you
decide which way you're going togo, because either if their
idea is totally stupid and theone that you already had in the
back of your mind because thisis the deal you're going to do,
whatever it is that you want todo, anyhow, that's just the
(33:22):
bottom line.
It's never going to be a goodidea until we think it's a good
idea bottom line and adiscussion on that, right.
And then that kind of dovetailsinto how do I know I'm making
the right decision?
Or how do I know what I'mworking on is the right thing?
Right, because I've I've workedon things and I actually came
up with these three questionsthis morning and, and I'm still,
(33:45):
I'm still, I'm still unpackingthis, but I, I still.
I think it's very important forme to share this with you guys,
because we all struggle withthese things, right, but I don't
hear very many people talkingabout this.
Sue me, okay, I'm, I'm, I thinkI'm half Looney Tunes at times,
(34:05):
but, um, I'm here and I'menjoying this.
I'm enjoying myself, right andand sharing this stuff, my my
experiences, right, I'm notgoing to share something.
I'm going to really try not toshare something that I don't
have experience with.
You know, or have an opinion onsomething that I don't have any
experience with, because thatjust kind of sucks and it's kind
(34:25):
of shitty and I can't back itup.
But, like I said, I want tounpack this Like, how do I know
if I'm working on something?
And I think I think that's aquestion I think we ask
ourselves, like it'd be nodifferent than I guess, uh, you
know, if I decided to just startdigging a hole in the backyard,
right With, I just I got apickaxe, I got my digging bar
(34:49):
and I got a shovel, I'm justgonna start digging a fucking
hole, right, a lot of people aregonna be like, why is he
digging a hole in the backyard?
Quite frankly, I can't answerthat question.
I just start digging the onlything that I know that it brings
me joy.
I just, you know, I don't knowwhat.
The end result is this, but I,I, I it's physically, I like
(35:12):
what it does to me.
Physically, I'm creating asweat and I don't know if I'm
going to dig to China.
So my point is is that it'sbringing?
It's bringing me joy.
I don't know what joy it'sgoing to bring me, but I know
today for instant gratificationbecause I, I, I am, I am an
instant gratification kind ofguy.
I want it here, I want it now.
When's it coming?
(35:33):
I've been spoiled, just likeeveryone else, by Amazon.
Okay, I want that shitovernighted today.
But maybe that was a badmetaphor.
But my point is too, it mightgive me digging this hole, might
give me instant gratification.
But if I thought that through,it's like, okay, now I'm
(35:53):
creating a mess in the backyard,okay, that's going to create
more work, work that I probablydon't want to do.
It's going to ruin the grass,the grass is going to die.
And now I got a hole in mybackyard.
So I got to ask myself it's atwo part question the thing, the
(36:13):
thing that I'm working on rightnow, is it going to bring me
joy?
And if I don't do this thing,will it bring me joy later or
will it bring me pain?
So yes, metaphorically, I'menjoying, I'm digging it, man,
man, and I'm digging this holeto china.
Screw it, I'm gonna dig thisthing, but I I have a moment of
clarity and I'm thinking tomyself I'm not gonna like the
(36:34):
end result of this, I'm notgonna like this, so maybe I
should stop.
Maybe I should just close thishole up right now.
So first part of the question isis is it bringing me joy, am I,
am I feeling joy from this, andwill it give me joy later?
The answer to that second partof the question is no.
So why am I doing it?
(36:54):
Right, and it's almost likegetting high.
Right, I didn't even thinkabout this till right now.
It's almost like like, yes,that instant gratification, I
can drink a beer, I can get high, but the end result I'm not
going to.
I'm not going to feel goodabout myself later.
I'm either going to, you know,I'm going to have a hangover.
Um, it's going to be considereda relapse.
(37:15):
It I'll probably miss anappointment because when I start
drinking, all bets are off.
So why would I pick, pick upthe pickaxe?
Right?
It won't bring me joy later.
The other thing is is does itbring me fulfillment and purpose
?
Now, will I feel fulfilledfilling this hole back up?
(37:37):
I probably will.
It will probably give mefulfillment.
But if I don't fill the hole up, will it give me fulfillment
later?
Will it benefit me or anyoneelse later?
If I don't fill it up, it won't.
It's going to kill the grasswhen it rains, the mud's going
(37:59):
to go down the hill, it's goingto create a mudslide.
It's going to do all thesethings.
So, yes, I need to fill thishole back up and I wish I would
have came up with a bettermetaphor.
Better metaphor, I don't know,it's a tongue twister.
For me it is anyhow Um but um.
So what it is that I'm workingon right now will.
Does it make me feel fulfilled?
(38:21):
Okay, and I guess the secondpart to that question is because
I don't want five or sixdifferent questions, it's going
to be three questions.
You got to ask yourself does itbring me joy?
And if I don't do it, will it?
Will it bring me joy?
Okay, it's the first question.
Second question is is it, doesit make me feel fulfilled?
It does, but if I don't do it,will it make me feel fulfilled?
(38:46):
Question is that probably, if Iprocrastinate, if I prolong it,
I probably won't feel fulfilledlater.
So that means I better do itnow.
It may not give me fulfillment,this second, but I know if I
get through it now I will,because I see the end result.
Right, it's just like workingout, right, I don't see the
(39:07):
gratification.
I don't feel the gratificationtoday.
Shit, I don't even feel it.
Over a week, sometimes a month,you start to feel different.
You start to see, lookdifferent.
People start to realize like,holy shit, you're starting to
look good, whatever, right,right, um, and then I guess the
(39:30):
third question we would askourselves is um will it have
impact negative on people orpositive on people?
Right, if I do this thing today,if I continue to keep working
on this job, on on this task, onthis, on this whatever, what
impact will it have on myselfand on other people?
(39:52):
Will impact people later andinstantly?
Right?
Two part question positively ornegatively, right?
So I think, if you can thinkand and and say these three
questions to yourself, does itbring me joy now and will it
bring me joy later?
Will it make me feel fulfilledtoday or will it make me feel
(40:16):
fulfilled later?
Will it have a positive impacton people today or a negative
impact on people later if I door don't do something right?
And I think that has given me,that has given me, personally,
so much clarity on my decisionmaking, right, especially when
(40:37):
I'm suffering from this decisionfatigue.
Right, it helps me with mymindset If I can grind through
this, because I know the endresult.
I'm going to get paid, it'sgoing to impact other people so
they can get paid, and then theycan impact other people so they
can get paid, or they canprovide for people, if you want
to look at it in terms ofmonetarily, right.
(40:57):
Or am I going to do some thingsthat people don't even don't
even realize where thesemiracles came from?
Right, because I I love doingstuff like that, where people
don't realize, um, you know, itwas because of something that we
did that impacted them later,right, um, but but if you look
at all of the, all three ofthese questions, it it all has
(41:19):
to do with.
It starts with me, first andforemost, personal development
is an inside job.
Professional development, Idon't give a shit.
It's an inside job, right?
It's the six inch between myears, it's the things I'm
working on behind closed doors,it's the promises that I'm
keeping to myself, and it's thepromises that I'm breaking to
myself that will screw up thatpsyche, that will screw up that
(41:41):
mindset.
That will screw up my paradigm,my perception psyche.
That will screw up that mindset.
That will screw up my paradigm,my perception man.
I've I've ever had myperception screwed up here
lately, but I really wanted toshare.
I really wanted to.
I felt like I really needed toget a lot of that off my chest.
You know of, of, and maybe ifthere's somebody else out there
(42:02):
I don't know who's out there isa I see Johnny Stauffer out
there.
I'm going to take a drink herereal quick.
I feel like there's about 12,13, 14, 15 people out there
listening right now.
If anybody has any questions orwant me to unpack or unwind
(42:23):
something a little more on thetopic, what's up, john?
Good to see you, buddy.
Um, you know, and John's a goodexample of of where I feel like
um, I may have been influencingor impacting him over the past
several months.
Whether he notices, noticed itor not, I, I feel like and maybe
(42:47):
I'm giving myself entirely waytoo much credit for for having
impact over people or whatever,but I'm sure he's noticed, but
let's chalk it up to noticed mebeing in a funk over the past um
several months where I just Ihaven't been very creative Um,
and John and I and Vic um, Idon't want to leave you out of
(43:08):
that circle of of creativityeither, but John and I, man,
usually just jam out onmarketing.
I love marketing, I love brandUm, I love bringing new ideas to
the table on how to market ourbrand and bring brand awareness
and I just feel like I've beenin a dumpster when it comes to
creativity.
But, john, just so you know, Ihave a lot of great ideas.
(43:30):
I think I shared a couple withyou the other day and that's
what I mean in terms ofaffecting John.
It's John's job to market andbrand our company and if I'm not
bringing ideas right, wrong,indifferent, bad ideas whatever
to his attention, then hedoesn't know where I'm not
bringing ideas right, wrong,indifferent, bad ideas whatever
to his attention, then hedoesn't know where I'm at, he
doesn't know what direction.
Right, because I'm the driverhere.
(43:51):
I'm driving this right andthat's the important thing and
my colleague that I was speakingwith yesterday we were speaking
in terms of our family members,right, and the impact that we
have on them, good and bad,because of our moods, because of
our you know behaviors andthings and how we affect them.
(44:13):
You know, because misery enjoyscompany and it's like when I'm
miserable I'm not happy untilyou're miserable.
So I'm going to go out of myway to make you miserable.
Do I want to live like thattoday?
I absolutely positively do notwant to live you miserable.
Do I want to live like thattoday?
I absolutely positively do notwant to live that way.
And there's there's, there's myold friend David Bruno.
David, we need to get you onthe show here sooner rather than
(44:35):
later.
And also I want to talk to youabout hosting another networking
event or something, or at leastmaybe helping me start.
You know, a little networkingthing here at TC Backer, which
is another thing that you know,I think you know get us all out
of our shell here a little bit.
This winter shell that we'vebeen in you know most
(44:55):
effectively here me lately, andagain I see I've rubbed off on
Vic a little bit too.
You know what I mean, and that'snot good, it's not good for
anybody.
And uh, you know.
So if anybody's going through afunk, you know it's short-term
funk, long-term funk, or youjust can't put your quite, can't
put your finger on what thehell is going on.
Open up, reach out to meanytime, through messenger,
(45:18):
through, through whatever, and,uh, you know, um, I'm here.
I'm here for anybody.
Life is entirely too short tobe miserable, but I think I ran
my mouth long enough.
Next week I want to dive intoand I'm sure I'll circle back to
, some of these topics next week, but next week I really want to
(45:40):
discuss the high cost of notletting go.
So, if anybody's got anyquestions, please, in the
comments.
If you're catching this on thereplay, thank you for joining us
.
But if you catch this on thereplay, if you got any questions
that were a topic that thatyou'd like to hear me discuss,
and if you find any value to anyof this, and if you know
anybody else that that mightfind value in this, please,
(46:01):
please, share this with them.
And if you know of anybody thatmight be a good guest to come
on the show to talk about somedeep shit, uh, by all means,
reach out to Vic myself, john,anybody here at TC backer, um,
reach out to us and we'll see ifwe can't get you on the show.
And again, if you got a topicthat you want me to talk about,
discuss, please don't hesitate.
But until next week, you guystake care of each other and
(46:24):
enjoy this great.
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