Navigating Tough Decisions: The Emotional Side of Leadership

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Leadership demands more than making easy choices — it requires the courage to make decisions that might initially hurt those we care about most. In this candid Brick by Brick episode, Ty Cobb Backer explores the emotional terrain leaders face when change collides with human emotions.

Ty explains how real leadership recognizes that resistance to change often masks deeper grief — grief for professional identities, relationships, and the familiar. By embracing transparency and empathy, leaders can guide their teams through transition while maintaining momentum.

Ty shares his personal insights, including the hard lessons about the cost of delaying tough conversations out of fear of being disliked. He reminds us that true leadership isn't about avoiding discomfort but about building environments where knowledge and growth flow in all directions.

Leadership is not about perfection — it's about continuous self-improvement that ripples through your team and organization. Brick by brick, this is how strong leadership legacies are built.

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Episode Transcript

Ty Cobb Backer (00:00):
what it really means or what it takes, you know
, to be a leader Brick by brick.
Sometimes you'll have to makehard decisions that negatively
impact people you care about.
So they think it will impactthem negatively, you know, and
it's our job as the leader topaint a picture for them in a

(00:21):
way that doesn't appear to benegative, unless you have to let
them go.
And usually that's the harddecision that we have to make
and hopefully we chose wisely,with those that we choose to
surround ourselves with, wherewe won't have to let that many
people go in our journey ofentrepreneurship, management,
leadership, all along trying tomake the right decisions and it

(00:44):
can be difficult, right.
So that's our jobs as leadersto help facilitate game plans
and ideas and visions forlongevity of the company, most
importantly those that we workwith.
A lot of times thoseconversations aren't easy
conversations to have, andespecially when you know their

(01:05):
feelings are involved, and youknow I'm a very empathetic
person and I try to think ofthem.
I don't even necessarily try to, it's that's just where my head
goes.
You know I'm worried, concernedabout their emotions and things
like that.
So I'm learning to become verycreative.
What I've most recently come upwith is a lateral expansion,

(01:27):
whether it's for the company,whether it's for their position,
that we're either trying tocreate or alleviate or expand
somebody else's position withinthe company.
You know it's our job toarticulate that picture, that
vision of like why it'simportant that they move into a
different role or somebody elseneeds to move into their
position.
It's hard and the thing thatpeople deal with isn't the

(01:50):
pushback from the decision thatyou made due to change, because
we all think that you know wehate change, they would much
rather stay because it's morecomfortable.
But what people are reallydealing with is the, the feeling
of loss, and we think it's justchange that you know we're,
we're fearing change when really, uh, they're, they're dealing

(02:12):
with loss and I think if we canbe fully transparent, like, look
, this isn't going to be easy,it's going to probably be tough,
but also paint a picture oflike, why we need to do this and
why it's going to have apositive impact on them and
those around us.
And I think, when we take theirfeelings into consideration
right, wrong or indifferent Ialways, I'm always concerned
about people's feelings and howit may impact the company

(02:36):
themselves, their family, right,especially if you're keeping
them, if you're keeping them onboard and you know, I've been
guilty of letting people staywithin the company entirely too
long, especially if they neededto go or not finding a better
position for them that bestsuits them.
And and this could be selfishbecause I'm concerned about,

(02:57):
like, how they're going to feelprobably more so about me
towards me once I've broke thebad news to them because they're
going to suffer from loss, andit's no different than when we
lose a loved one or we break upa relationship.
We suffer from loss, right, andthat's the same thing.
It's not that we're necessarilygoing through changes.

(03:20):
We're suffering from thegrieving process that an
individual will feel when wechange things up at work.
It's really no different.
So that emotion, that feeling,is the exact same feeling.
So, if we can help and betransparent, like, look, we're
doing this to broaden yourhorizon in a different area of

(03:40):
the company, we're relocatingyour position over here so
you'll have more time to focusand have time, energy and
resources to this particulararea, and we're going to bring
somebody else in, whether it's,you know, a lateral move within
the company or we're bringingsomebody in from outside, you
know we will be disliked,despite our best attempt to do

(04:03):
the best for the most, we willbe misunderstood.
We will rarely have theopportunity to defend ourselves.
And I didn't come up with thisright.
I wish I could say thateverything that I'm talking
about right now is somethingthat I came up with on my own.
A lot of you that know me knowthat I study a lot.
Right now I'm studying GoogleWorkspace.

(04:25):
I'm reading probably too muchat one time, but I'm reading
again the roofing sales survivalguide by our boy, adam Bensman.
You know, I, I, I continuouslywork on myself, I continuously
educate myself and I get veryspecific on on where I'm at,
where the company's, at whatseason I'm in, what season the

(04:47):
company's in.
You know and and this is what'scool when, when, when, you were
learning just as much from yourteam as as they are from you.
That's when you're developing agenuine culture.
You know, living with purposeand and and consistency right,
I'm consistently working onmyself.

(05:07):
And and consistency, right, I'mconsistently working on myself,
self-mastery, personaldevelopment, because it really
all starts here.
You know figuring out like, howI tick, like I'm I'm pulling
that pocket watch out and I'mtearing this thing apart and I,
I want to see how the gears areare working and and how they're
working cohesively together,with one gear missing the other

(05:32):
gears within that stopwatch orthat pocket watch.