April 28, 2020 • 59 mins
Finance expert Danetha Doe joins Emily in this episode to talk about addressing your money stories, combating scarcity mindset, tips for building a solid financial foundation, how the shifting economy is changing our relationships with money, and so much more.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Emily Thompson (00:02):
I'm Emily Thompson.
Kathleen Shannon (00:04):
And I'm Kathleen Shannon.
Emily Thompson (00:05):
And this is Being Boss. And this Being Boss
episode, I'm joined by DanethaDoe to talk about addressing
your money stories and combatingscarcity mindset and tips for
building a solid financialfoundation. As always, you can
find all the tools, books andlinks we reference on the show
(00:26):
notes at www.beingboss.club.
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Emily Thompson (01:35):
Danthea Doe is the creator of Money and
Mimosas, a financial well beingresource enjoyed by readers in
over 50 countries. Danthea hasbeen named a personal finance
expert by Fast Company and theWall Street Journal. She was
recognized as a millennialthought leader by the Hong Kong
Institute of CPAs. And amillennial entrepreneur to watch
by the Office of CongresswomanBarbara Lee. Danthea is the star
(01:58):
financial expert in the TVseries Going From Broke produced
by Ashton Kutcher, whichgarnered over 12 million views
in it's first season. A formerNFL cheerleader turned money
maven and entrepreneur Dantheabelieves that charting your own
path is the key to financialfreedom. And if you'd like to
get caught up on Danthea we'vehad her on the podcast before
(02:21):
episode number 168. Hi, Danthea.
I'm so glad that you have joinedus today. How are you doing?
Danetha Doe (02:31):
I'm good, Emily, I'm feeling at peace and focused
and super excited to reconnectwith you and dive into our
conversation.
Emily Thompson (02:40):
Right. So you were last here with us on being
boss back in 2018. Eight, I justlooked it up. It was actually
March 2018. So we're recordingthis. In March, two years ago,
we were hanging out together andwe were talking about money
mindset and energy. And Iremember it being like just one
of the most energizingconversations especially about
(03:00):
money that Kathleen and I hadever had. We loved having you on
so much. But it's been two yearssince we've really connected.
What have you been up to?
Danetha Doe (03:10):
Oh my gosh, I can't believe it's like two years to
the day. That's awesome. Well,so much has changed and so much
hasn't changed as well. What haschanged, Money and Mimosas is my
baby that's continuing to grow.
She can now walk by herself.
She's starting to make her ownfood. Starting to.
Emily Thompson (03:33):
That's a perfect analogy right? Give her a spoon,
and she can feed herself someyogurt.
Danetha Doe (03:41):
We're working on it. But she's now Money and
Mimosas is my platform to spreadtools and information around how
to elevate your self worth andnet worth. We now have readers
in 56 countries, which is reallyexciting. Really exciting. And
what else is new? I did a TVshow since the last time we
(04:02):
chatted.
Emily Thompson (04:03):
Right? No no don't don't move on from that
yet. About this TV show. I sawthat you were doing one. Super
jelly. If you're if anyone who'slistening this will remember
Kathleen wants nothing more thana Netflix show.
Danetha Doe (04:18):
It's happening.
Emily Thompson (04:21):
Right? Good. We can make that happen. But when
we saw you were on, or you hadone for us it was like a what's
it called in manifestation whenyou see someone who's able to do
that first, I can't rememberwhat the word is. But you have
become that like example thatlike bosses who were doing
things can get their own TVshow. So tell us about that.
(04:43):
Tell us, tell us about your TVseries. How that went down. How
you got on it. Did you lovedoing it? Are you now totally
famous?
Danetha Doe (04:56):
I don't know about totally famous. I'm not sure
what the word is for thatmanifestation. But I like to say
I got next, when I see someoneelse that's created something
that I'm like, oh, that would bereally exciting for me to
experience too. I always like tosay I got next. Um, so yes, this
TV show Going From Broke is thename of the series. It was, it
(05:17):
is a 10 episode reality showfocused on millennials and
money. So I was brought on asone of the two co-hosts. And my
role was as the financialexpert, my co-host, owns a large
public technology company. So hewas there with that perspective.
And I came in as the millennialwho understands what we've gone
(05:40):
through financially, and thenalso to provide some guidance
and insights around how tocreate financial freedom as a
millennial. And the theexperience was, it was great in
so many ways, I grew a lot. AndI also, the teachings that I've
(06:03):
learned along my own journey ofcreating financial freedom were
further solidified. How it cameabout was really magical. I, a
friends on Twitter, who I'veactually never met in person
sent me a message and said, hey,there's this casting going on in
LA, it's about millennials andmoney, I think you would be
(06:24):
perfect for it. And, and I sawthe and I read through the
application, they wanted a demoreel, which I have not done TV
before. So I didn't even knowwhat that was, but I definitely
didn't have it. They wanted meto be based in LA, I'm in San
Francisco, there were all thesethings on there where I was
like, I'm not really the bestfit for this. But the one
sentence that they included waswe are looking for a millennial
(06:47):
who can speak to financialtopics, and also understands the
nuances of the emotional side ofmoney was something along those
lines. And I was like, wait,that's something I get, like, I
know that it's not just blackand white numbers on a page.
It's about truly understandingthe person where they're coming
(07:07):
from. And so I sent in, I sentan email with my website and a
brief bio, and the casting agentcalled me within 30 minutes of
sending that email and was like,I want to hop on a video
interview with you. And Iabsolutely love your package.
There are other people to befully transparent. There are
(07:29):
other people that I also lovetoo, so I want to get the ball
rolling. And, and I'm reallygrateful to that casting
director because he during myvideo interview with him coached
me on how to be prepared forthese types of interviews
depending upon who I wasspeaking with. So there's a
difference between speaking to aTV producer versus a casting
(07:50):
agent versus anyone else in thebusiness. So after about six
interviews, that included flyingto LA meeting with the
producers. I was casted as thefinancial expert for the show.
Emily Thompson (08:06):
That does sound magical, and like so much fun.
And I love that you say that.
What it did for your expertiseis just solidify the things that
you'd been working on in yourown business. Can you speak to
that a little bit more? Likewhat are some of those things
that came up for you, whenworking through whatever these
scenarios are. And maybe you caneven like share a little bit
(08:28):
about what the reality TV layoutwas for this. But really what it
was in your work that wassolidified by doing this?
Danetha Doe (08:38):
Totally. So I lived in LA to film this show. I lived
there for about three months.
And over that course of thattime, we worked with 10
different individuals, there's10 shows, 10 episodes, and each
episode features an individualor we actually had a couple too
on the show. And each episodefocused on one particular topic
(08:59):
within finance. I mean, overall,everyone has student loans. Most
people have student loans at 80%of them. So that was the
overarching discussion. Butthere are other scenarios to
like the one with the couple.
They, the it was a heterosexualcouple. So the husband had
(09:20):
recently lost his job. He washit by a car. He's a
firefighter, and so he was outof work. At the same time, his
wife who's a therapist and losther job, they have two little
kids and so they were alreadyliving somewhat paycheck to
paycheck already and then we canimagine now they're in a real
dire situation. And so we talkedabout how they could A, figure
(09:45):
out how to make money on theside figure out other ways of
generating income. They also hada lot of credit cards, which
they had started using prior tothis financial catastrophe so
they were on already trending.
They were already utilizingcredit cards and and not paying
them off and come to find outthe husband thought they only
(10:08):
had four credit cards. And thewife showed him that they had
12.
Emily Thompson (10:14):
Oh, my god.
Danetha Doe (10:15):
Yes. So this was all on camera where he realized,
Oh, no, we actually are in amuch worse financial situation
than I was, I even knew. And sofor me in that situation, the
conventional wisdom is to focuson the credit cards, just to
talk about, okay, how do wecreate a plan where we stop
(10:37):
using credit cards, maybe cutthem up, and then pay them down.
However, from my own personalexperience in the work that I
do, there's some, there'sanother layer to that there is a
disconnection between thehusband and the wife, and we
need to address not why sheopened up new credit cards,
we'll get there. But we have toactually talk about why she
(10:59):
didn't feel safe to bring thisup in the marriage to you. And
so those kinds of conversation,that type of conversation opened
up a whole other conversationwithin that couple where we
could start to peel back thelayers of Okay, we're gonna get
through this, yes, you're bothgonna get employed again, we're
(11:20):
going to get to a place whereyou can pay off the debt, but we
want to make sure you'rebuilding a solid foundation in
order to do that.
So it was those types ofconversations that solidified
for me, the emotional and thepsychological side of money is
paramount in these types ofsituations, situations. We can't
(11:40):
just deal with the surface levelfinancial conversation, we have
to talk about the underlyingroot cause of what's happening.
And now, I do want to share alsowith the student loan situation,
since that was something thatwas present in 8 of the 10
(12:02):
guests we had on the show, theconventional wisdom was to tell
them that they, the conventionalwisdom was to create a plan, and
I'm laughing because it'sabsolutely ridiculous, create a
plan where they pay off theirstudent loans as quickly as
possible. So what does thatmean? That means that they
somehow figure out how to makemore money, or, in most cases,
(12:24):
cut out everything that theylove in life, in order to be
able to make more payments. Andthat does not address the root
cause of why we are in a studentloan crisis situation. And once
that information was shared withthe individuals, it gave them,
(12:46):
the strength and the knowledgethat hey, this isn't my fault.
The $600, $700, $800 per monthbill wasn't my doing, it's not
because I'm bad at money,actually, I'm really good at
money. And when you have thatmindset, where you believe in
yourself, then you're able tomake a positive, take positive
(13:07):
steps towards creating financialfreedom. If you feel like you're
the problem, which a lot ofconventional wisdom will try to
say that particularly when itcomes to student loans. You're
just damaging the person's selfesteem, and they aren't able to
move forward from that place. Sothose two things really
solidified some of the thingsthat I, I've known to be true,
(13:31):
but now I was able to see itreflected back.
Emily Thompson (13:34):
Right, those money stories are the things
that affect how it is that you Iguess behave with money, those
things run deep, like real deep.
And so I love that you weregiven this opportunity to to
work through these situationswith what it sounds like
multiple different kinds ofpeople who you know,
(13:55):
millennials, so like in asimilar generation with similar
sort of experiences, butdifferent enough that everyone
had different experiences. Butthe sounds like most of the same
underlying money story issues.
Danetha Doe (14:12):
Money story issues?
Yes, definitely understandingour emotional relationship to
money is that's everyone hassome everyone has a relationship
with money. It's whether or notit's working for you or against
you, and it can ebb and flow.
Sometimes my relationship withmoney is working for me. And
sometimes I had to put myselfback in check and realize, Oh,
(14:34):
I'm acting out of a woundedplace when I'm engaging with
money. And it's the moneystories, it's also with knowing
that we're in a differenteconomy now, in terms of we
can't just rely on one source ofincome. And we have to develop
the skills and the mindset andlearn and be able to create
(14:57):
wealth. It's not about cuttingback expenses. No, this is about
learning how to create wealth.
And so those, unfortunately,that particular skill of mindset
isn't taught in our traditionalschool setting in most schools.
So we've had some go to otherresources, like Being Boss and
other resources to figure outhow to make that happen for
(15:22):
ourselves, right?
Emily Thompson (15:25):
If only we were taught these sort of money
relationship, things in school,like when they're teaching us
how to like write a check, like,also, here's some feelings you
should be practicing whileyou're writing these checks. I
think we'd all find yourselves adifferent place. I want to go
back to this thing that you justsaid about feeling wounded
around money, because I think weare probably all finding
(15:45):
ourselves in a time where ourmoney, our energies around
money, our money mindset isshifting, our money stories are
shifting. So I'd love to talk alittle bit about how sort of the
shifts in economy, and literallyeverything in the world right
now are affecting how you feelabout money. And if there are
(16:08):
any larger shifts that you'reseeing beyond yourself as well.
Danetha Doe (16:12):
Oh, wow, that's a big question. I'll start with
saying that. No one could haveknown what we're going to
experience in 2020. Some of usfelt a big shift happening, but
none of us could see whatexactly that was. Um, for me, I
(16:36):
would say 2019, especiallyprepared me for this year, in
that, I started working with myshadow side, a lot of it to do
with money. But also, I mean,money for me is a reflection of
life. So it has to do with mylife, really, and, and my shadow
side that I was working through,reveals to me all of the
(17:01):
microaggressions, I hadexperienced as a black woman
specifically, I had not lookedat that. And that was incredibly
painful to realize how damaged Ihad been from certain
experiences. And I startedworking with an energy healer
(17:22):
and actually had an epigeneticepisode where I exctreted
physically exctreted the traumarelated to that, to my
experience as a black person, ablack woman, and for those that
may not be familiar with thatterm, because I didn't even know
what it was until after ithappened. Epigenetics is a study
(17:43):
of intergenerational trauma. Andso scientists have, scientists
have worked with mice, to seethat trauma is actually passed
down from the parents, to thechildren and to the
grandchildren. And you can lookup the study that they've done.
(18:03):
It's the mice and cherryblossoms study where where the
smell of cherry blossoms createda trauma like experience for the
parents, and then it continueddown the line. Um, and so that's
the same for humans, we allcarry trauma within us. And the,
(18:28):
it's, you know, it's one thingto work through the trauma, but
we even have to know that we'vebeen traumatized. We have to
even know that we've beenwounded.
And so for me, that 2019, thatwas my period, it was about a
nine month period of me workingwith and through this. And so to
answer your question about howthat changed me, because I
(18:51):
believe 2020, I believe myexperience is not in solitude, I
believe others will have asimilar experience, especially
now with what we're allexperiencing in 2020. For me,
2019 showed me that I have toget back to the roots of having
joy and love and creating from aplace of passion. I had through
(19:18):
2019 I realized I am a writer,like period. That that is it.
Like Yes, I could do all theseother things. I can be called a
financial expert. We all wearlots of hats. And I have to
believe in my innate gifts ofwriting to be able to provide
for me financially, I had turnedmy back to that identity. And I
(19:42):
had to get back to that place ofYeah, I've been writing since I
was six. Like this is where Ifind the most joy. This is where
I connect with my higher self.
That's how I get messages isthrough writing it out. And so
that has to be at the forefrontof my life and so from an
economic standpoint, my businesscompletely shifted to that being
(20:03):
the focus. financial coaching isgreat business coaching is
great. All these things that Ido, TV shows are great. At the
core, my way of expressing mysoul is through writing. And so
I believe going through 2020, myhope, actually, it's my hope.
(20:23):
And I honestly don't believethat it cannot not happen.
Because we're all waking up tothis, I do believe more and more
people are going to wake up to,they have got to get in touch
with their soul, whatever wordthey want to use. Soul, spirit,
consciousness, we've got to getback to the roots of what that
is, and express ourselvesthrough that and trust, when
(20:45):
we're just talking about money,trust that we will be
financially compensated from ourinnate gifts. And, and for me,
and for from my perspective, Ibelieve that's what 2020 from
how the economy will shift, itwill reflect that that very
idea.
Emily Thompson (21:06):
Hmm, I feel this, I feel this a lot. One of
the things that I keep thinkingabout too, is this idea where
all of the extras are currentlybeing stripped away. Like all of
the extra sort of jobs thatyou're doing, or hobbies that
you have, or like anything thatyou can't just, I always, I have
a 12 year old daughter. So Ialways think about like, she's
(21:29):
constantly coming to me askingme to allow her to do something
else like, and I'm always sayingto her, you have so many things
within your own capacity to doand enjoy and be happy with and
be fulfilled. And like you don'tneed to go somewhere else, do
something else, talk to someoneelse, have anything else. Like
sometimes I just need you topractice being happy with the
(21:51):
things that you have. And I kindof feel like we're all getting
mom-ed as 12 year old kids atthe moment saying, No, you're
I'm gonna put you in your houseand lock the door, and you're
gonna be happy.
Danetha Doe (22:07):
Oh my gosh, yes.
Emily Thompson (22:10):
Right. So we're all having to find like, okay,
no, we've created these homesfor ourselves, you either did or
didn't create these homes foryourself. And you've either
filled them with things thatbring you joy, or you haven't,
and you've either cultivatedhobbies or knowledge or
experiences that are making youhappy, or you haven't. And so
we're all being sort of put inthese places to look at the
(22:31):
lives that we've built forourselves, as well as finding
out how good we can be with, youknow, finding out what kind of
makes us happy when we havelimited resources. So I think
you're right, I think all ofthat stripping away, forces us
to sort of look ourselves in theface and say, you know, I have a
limited number of things I cando right now. But I do have
(22:53):
things that I can do right now.
So what do I want to do? That'sgonna make me happy when I have
no other options? ,
Danetha Doe (22:58):
Oh my gosh, always coming with the truth, Emily,
like the realness. We are allgetting mom-ed, yes. Go to your
room. You're gonna look at thatblank wall, or you're gonna
figure out how that's gonna makeyou happy.
Emily Thompson (23:13):
Right? You have a closet full of art supplies in
there. So like figure it out.
Danetha Doe (23:17):
Yes, that is what's happening here. I Yes, all the
yeses.
Emily Thompson (23:23):
Right. And I also see this really interesting
place. And maybe you can speakto this. Or maybe it's just we
can reflect off each other for asecond, where I do see a very
stark difference between peoplewho are, who could not be more
put out and annoyed and angry atthe situation and people who
were really just finding that,like, I'm gonna make the best of
this. Like, there doesn't seemto be much of a middle ground.
(23:44):
It's like you're either soangry, or you're like, doing it.
Danetha Doe (23:48):
Yes, I'm so with you on that. It's anger, it's
entitlements as well too like,Oh my gosh, going to just the
grocery store. Sometimes it'sinteresting to see people that
Hello, we're in the middle of aglobal pandemic. I mean, no one
has ever said those wordsbefore. And so can you please
(24:10):
like put down the bananas? Likeyou don't need all the bananas?
Um, and then there are thosethat Yeah, they found peace.
They they're finding joy they'refinding. Yeah, there is
definitely a clear distinctionbetween the two. And you're
right, I feel you're right toothat there isn't going to be,
there isn't a middle and I thinkgoing forward, those of us that
(24:33):
have done the inner work to getto that place of being able to
find joy, peace during thistime. We're not going to be
complacent anymore. Like we are,and I hold myself accountable to
this too, because someone who Ifeel like I have an endless well
(24:54):
of compassion for people and Iwill you know, even if someone
is speaking something that Iknow not to necessarily true or
resonate with me, I'll let it gojust because, well, we all have
opinions. We all have thoughts.
We all have ideas. No, if notanymore. You don't know. There's
going to be conviction. Now,when I speak when I connect with
(25:20):
someone, if it doesn'timmediately resonate, I'm gonna
speak it. And I feel that I'mnot alone in that I think those
of us that have done all of thatwork to get to this place, where
we realize, hey, the normal thatwe used to have is actually
really unhealthy. And I'm goingto speak up now.
Emily Thompson (25:40):
Right, we can shape our own reality now, much
more so than we could before butonly for those who show us who
show up and actually take thatpower into our hands and use it.
Yes, do the work. Be boss.
Yeah. Amen.
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Emily Thompson (27:00):
I want to go to this this guy at the grocery
store buying all the bananas. Ifwe may for a second, because I
think this is a time of rampantscarcity mindset. Rampant and
you know, toilet paper is stillan issue. Very big issue. I'm
running low. I have a little bitof scarcity mindset at the
(27:21):
moment about toilet paper, butlike it's not mindset, it's
reality. I want to talk aboutscarcity mindset, because I know
that's one of the topics thatyou enjoy speaking about. And I
feel like it's something thateveryone at the moment can
relate to, on some level. Whatis scarcity mindset? And how do
you identify when it is creepinginto your life? And why do you
not want it there?
Danetha Doe (27:42):
Yes. So scarcity mindset is this fundamental
belief that there is not enoughto go around. We're seeing this
with toilet paper. We're seeingthis with bananas. I like oat
milk, and people are, that'sflying off the shelves for some
reason. Those are funnyexamples. I'm using air quotes,
(28:02):
but funny examples, but theytruly reflect a deeper disease.
I believe scarcity mindset is anillness. And it's a rampant
disease, especially in thefinancial space, which is why we
are experiencing an incrediblydevastating financial fallout
(28:22):
from this. We experiencedsomething similar in 2008. 2008
is going to pale in comparisonto the harm that's going to
happen from this. I mean, thestate of Ohio said that there
was reported that there were40,000 Unemployment Claims,
Monday and Tuesday, that'scompared to 1,800, the week
(28:42):
before. So...
Emily Thompson (28:44):
Oh my goodness.
Danetha Doe (28:45):
this is going to be unprecedented. And it's going to
ripple through the economy. Noneof us are going to be immune to
this in terms of none of us canturn our back to this. Now,
those of us that practice havingan abundant mindset where we
know that there is more thanenough to go around, our
creativity, just as there's anunlimited amount of creativity,
(29:07):
an unlimited amount of love,there is unlimited money,
because we all have the capacityto create wealth and how the
situation is going to trigger,understandably trigger our
feelings of scarcity mindset,even for those of us that have
been doing the work around this.
And imagine how it's going to beincredibly triggering for those
(29:29):
that have not done the workaround this. So how does it
creep up. It's always creeps upin these ways, but especially
during this period. We have tobe incredibly tuned into how we
charge, you cannot undercharge.
We cannot barter like that's theonly way to get services. We
(29:53):
have got to be okay withcharging for services and being
willing of course to work withpeople. But coming from that
place of always bartering, wecannot continue to do that. We
also cannot ask other people toslash their prices. Just as we
want to be treated, we have totreat others. And we have to
(30:14):
come from a place of believingthat there's more than enough to
go around. This also, that's theindividual entrepreneur boss to
boss interaction. The scarcitymindset also shows up and how
we've been apathetic to publicpolicies and economic policies
that created widespreadinjustice, we can no longer just
(30:39):
spread love and light, peaceful,happy thoughts. No people need
money in their bank accounts.
And so when we do that, though,when we just think that love and
light if someone just thinkspositively is going to change
their situation, we neglect tosee that there are actually
systems and structures put inplace where it doesn't matter.
(31:01):
Honestly, what someone's mindsetis, they are not able to make
money to support themselves,minimum, and they certainly
can't thrive. And so we have tobe more engaged politically, we
have to understand how our localcity's economic policies work,
I'll share a perfect example.
Because sometimes I'll get to aplace of like, of course,
(31:22):
everyone gets this, of course,everyone's going to come from a
place of abundance and share.
And then universe will quicklyshow me an example of where
that's not true. And so two daysago, I'm scrolling through my
Instagram, and I come across avideo of a city in I think it's
(31:43):
Lake County don't quote me onthe county, but in Florida,
where there's a hearing, so themayor's holding a hearing about
what they're going to do aboututility payments for the county,
because, for the city is it wasthe mayor, so the city, what
they're gonna do about utilitypayments, because they are a lot
of people are filingunemployment claims, they aren't
(32:05):
sure when they're going to gettheir next paycheck. And their
public utilities company, shutoff power to individuals in the
midst of this global pandemic,just this week, just this week,
(32:27):
and the mayor refused to see whythat was a problem. The
commissioner was trying toexplain to her that we are
asking people to give their lastcheck to us, in the middle of a
global pandemic, and she couldnot hear it, she could not see
why that was a problem. And sowe each have to be incredibly
(32:51):
diligent in our local politicalenvironment, because those types
of things cannot happen.
Emily Thompson (33:00):
Agreed, I feel like this global situation is
going to continue to bring outthe best and worst in any and
all individuals and systems. AndI agree that it's going to be
those of us who are watching andlistening and who care enough to
be watching and listening tohold people accountable to
(33:22):
showing up and taking care ofeach other regardless of so many
situations. And I think that issuch a good example of that. I
want to bring this back toindividual bosses and really
helping, helping us all dealwith our own scarcity mindsets.
As we are navigating the nextcouple of weeks and months as we
(33:47):
fill our businesses beginning toshrink. And you talked about,
you talked about getting peopleto charge what they're worth.
But I would also love to hearyou speak on the flip side of
that, which is feelingcomfortable paying people for
things. So I think we're allstruggling right now with the
idea of like, you know, do Ireally need to buy that book
(34:07):
from Amazon because maybe Idon't really need to read that
book right now. Or you know,hiring someone to help you with
something in your business orinvesting in something in your
business that you need to bemoving forward. Because I will
sort of add this thing to isthat one day this will end and
you're gonna want your businessto be better for it. Not still
(34:27):
sitting there struggling becauseof it.
Danetha Doe (34:30):
Absolutely.
Absolutely. Oh, you ask the bestquestions. And you have such
incredible insight. Yes. Payingfor services is going to be a
reflection of your mindset.
Being comfortable with sharingyour resources because that is
what money is. It is a resourceand it's about sharing and
(34:54):
allowing it to flow. I love topicture the economy as water.
Water is meant to nourish all ofus. And it only nourishes all of
us when it's flowing, imaginestagnant water, that's toxic,
nasty things breed in that. Wewant to continue to let the
(35:14):
water flow over the rocks, we'renow hitting a bunch of rocks, we
want it to flow and continue tocleanse all of us. And I'll
share a personal example, welost a client, we were one of
the people that they decided tocut. And I completely, you know,
I completely understand thosedecisions. In terms of managing
(35:40):
resources. What I did inresponse was turn around and
hire somebody. Because thisperiod, how we are in this
period is going to reap ahundredfold. And that reaping is
either going to come from anabundant place, or very, very,
very scarce place.
Emily Thompson (36:01):
Yes, I'm sorry, I was just making the scariest
face probably. I didn't mean tostop you dead in your tracks
there.
Danetha Doe (36:11):
Weel the face was correct. Because imagine
hundredfold, like we all want tothink about reaping from a
beautiful, lush place. Imaginereaping from a dry, arid,
cracked place, that is what isgoing to be the result. And it
all depends on who you are inthis period. That doesn't mean
(36:34):
you have to turn around and hiresomebody. I mean, that is,
everyone has to look at theirown finances, analyze their own
risk tolerance as well. But itcould mean buying gift
certificates from your localrestaurant, it could mean maybe
you do buy that $9.99 book fromAmazon, it doesn't have to be a
(36:54):
huge amount of money. Becausethat's all relative, it's about
the intention behind the action.
And so yes, being willing tospend mindfully, intentionally
and with purpose, I do believewe're in a karma economy. I've
always felt that. But I believepart of the drastic shifts, like
(37:16):
we are done being in, at leastin the United States, a
capitalist society. That, thosestructures are gone, they are
completely broken down just asan individual who like for me, I
was completely broken down,physically put on my knees, we
as an economic society, ourstructures are not there
(37:39):
anymore. They're not there,Delta Airlines is cutting 70% of
their flights. I mean the taxdeadline was actually pushed
back three months that oursystems are, we're always a
creation. And we can createsomething different, but it's
going to start from a boss toboss perspective, it's going to
(38:00):
start from you making decisionsfrom a place of abundance, or a
place of scarcity. There's no inbetween, just like we were
talking about earlier, there'sno in between anymore.
Emily Thompson (38:15):
Hmm, I'm feeling this too. And he will say do one
of the things that I've alwaysloved about doing online
business. And the thing thatI've always seen with, you know,
watching, watching people buildonline communities is what a lot
of them end up doing, especiallyin these small business
communities is we're actuallybuilding small economies, we're
building these little bubbleeconomies that you know, we're
(38:37):
all hiring each other, we're allpaying each other's bills like
we keep, we have the ability tocreate these bubbles and keep
the water flowing within them.
And but that only continues ifwe all continue flowing our
water in and out. And insidethat bubble like we don't have
to be as affected by what'shappening literally everywhere
(38:57):
else in the world. We weren'tbeing hugely oh, I guess we were
being hugely affected by itbefore. But now we can be even
more intentional within thesesmall little bubble economies
that we've created. I've neverseen a need to use them until
now. But now that now that we'rein a place where we need them,
(39:17):
I'm glad that we have them likethe Being Boss Community is a
perfect example of this. WhereI've seen it for years. I've
watched it. I've talked topeople about it. One of the
things I love most about thecommunity that we've built, is
we've actually built an economy.
This tiny, little economy. Ithink if we can keep the money
flowing within this, we'll allbe fine. And we'll all come out
of it significantly better, butnot if we stop. Not if we stop
(39:40):
our economy.
Danetha Doe (39:41):
Yes, I love that.
We do have the power to createour own economy that's at the
core of what you're saying youwe do have the ability to
continue to thrive, to continueto live a full life which does
take financial resources and weare able to to continue to keep
that water flowing, and and it'sthe Being Boss Community, it's
(40:03):
Money and Mimosas community.allof these communities. And then
we do spill out, may our cuprunneth over, we are going to
spill out into the wild wildworld out there, that is going
to wake up to how beautiful ourworlds is. And we're able to
positively effect be a part ofthe positive effects as well.
Emily Thompson (40:27):
Right? Let's definitely spill out out rather
some Money and Mimosass andBeing Boss spilled all over the
world than anything elsepersonally.
Danetha Doe (40:38):
Same, same.
Emily Thompson (40:43):
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(42:10):
All right, I want to get reallytactical now, if we may, I would
love for you to share a coupleof steps that our bosses need to
be taking right now in order tocreate some financial security
or I think as you call it asfinancial foundation for
themselves and their family andin this crazy time, but also
(42:32):
maybe just in general.
Danetha Doe (42:34):
Totally, great question. And I love this
question. Because these aresteps that we need to take all
the time. It's like I one of thetakeaways from me during this
pandemic is how importantgetting back to the basics is
and maintaining the basics.
Washing our hands is a basicthing. But that is what's going
to save us, part of what's goingto save us I should say. So when
(42:58):
it comes to financial, setting asolid financial foundation, this
is important now more than ever,and this is something hopefully
we all continue to maintainbecause it's just like building
your own financial immunesystem. So the first step, we've
got to start with the emotionalpsychological consciousness side
(43:19):
of it, whichever word bestresonates. But you have to
understand your money story. AndI do believe it is a lifelong
process. But particularly duringthis period, we want to tune
into the shadow side. So theseare feelings of shame and guilt.
We cannot extract race from thefrom economics. So each of us
(43:40):
has to look at our experiencethrough that lens. Most of the
listeners are going to be in theUnited States. So we also have
to look through the lens of howwe've harmed the global economy
as Americans, that's gonna beuncomfortable stuff. Like if you
feel comfortable doing thiswork, you're not doing it right.
(44:00):
You're not. And so the shadowside of the money story, we all
have to look at, some resourcesfor people you can look to Layla
Saad, I shouldn't call herresource. Some teachers, you
should look to Layla Saad. She'sthe host of the Good Ancestor
podcast. There's also RachelCargle, who does work around
(44:23):
around this type of stuff interms of privilege and unpacking
that what that looks like. Ifyou, you know, Netflix,
Privilege documentary, likethose types of things, we all
have to start looking atourselves. And then the second
step, so that's the theconsciousness side. And the
(44:44):
second step then is get into thepractice of learning how to
brainstorming ways to makemoney, this needs to be done
every single day, even if youdon't take action on these
ideas. Get your mind, prepareyour mind for being able to see
an opportunity and to createfrom that place of opportunity.
(45:07):
So every day, brainstorm two tothree ideas that you can create
wealth. And then the last stepis get all of your finances in
one place. This could be abookkeeping program, it could be
Excel, whatever you like to use,make sure everything is in one
place.
Emily Thompson (45:29):
What are some of your favorite tools?
Danetha Doe (45:31):
For the bookkeeping? I personally.
Emily Thompson (45:34):
For your finances all in one place,
whatever that means for you.
Danetha Doe (45:38):
Sure. So keeping my finances all in one place looks
like I get a daily alert from mybank account with every time I
spend more than $20. Because Iwant to be in touch with my
money. It also helps you know,if there's a fraudulent charge
like that, it's helpful to seethat immediately as well. I use
(45:59):
Xero, Xero for my accounting,I'm a huge fan of FreshBooks as
well. It's not about the toolnecessarily, it's about using
it. So find one that you enjoyworking with. I also use Excel
as well, just because I like toexport my information out and
like play around with like,where could I be in June of 2021
(46:20):
financially. But those thosesimple tools, if you're a pen
and paper person, that's fine,too. I do, during my money date,
write down how much Itransferred to my savings, or I
write down how much we made thatweek because I love the pen to
paper feeling. But those areyeah, all any any of those
(46:40):
tools, or any one tool will dothe trick.
Emily Thompson (46:44):
All right, you just mentioned money date. Tell
me a little bit about that.
Danetha Doe (46:48):
So money dates, this is something that I mean,
I've, I consider it a ritual.
It's something fun. I do believemore than ever having a ritual
around our money. And infusingintention and purpose when we
engage with it is, has alwaysbeen critical, especially now,
it's going to be massivelycritical to get us all to a
(47:12):
place where we can experiencepeace and prosperity. So money
dates is my my time. It's everyFriday where I sit down, and
first I go through my income. Sowhat I brought in that week,
then I go through where I spentmy money and how I felt. How do
I feel about those expenses? Isit a reflection of, of where I
(47:36):
want to be spending my money.
'll give you an example. So Ion't have a car and I bike
verywhere or I take publc transit, or I take Lyft. A
d there was one month whereI spent over $500 on Lyfts. And
y immediate reaction was like,h my gosh, you know, you spent w
y too much money like, reel itin what are you doing. And then
(48:00):
he next voice said, sit and lok through each Lyft expense. A
d recall why you use Lyft. AndI realized each time I used it w
s A, for business, which onne level is a tax deduction. But
on a deeper level, it was my, mspending was a reflection of th
(48:24):
investment in something thattruly care about. And takin
Lyfts allowed me to wear a dresas opposed to biking, I couldn'
wear a dress, it gave me thspace to be able to get read
and arrive at wherever I waarriving in a fully collecte
somewhat pampered state becausLyft is like having your ow
(48:44):
personal driver. And so oncerealized that I realized, Oh no
you're not spending too much oLyft you actually need t
increase your budget for youtransportation more and then yo
need to figure out how to creatmore wealth. So you don't ge
that immediate reaction of Oohgoodness, I spent too much. S
as you go through your expensesreflect on how you feel. And i
(49:06):
it's something that gives yopause, dig a little deeper as
o why it's giving you pause ad perhaps it does mean you c
t back on, in that area or it miht mean you need to create m
re wealth in order to sustaint. And then there's some ot
er steps I do one is pay myslf first, transfer money t
my savings or investing andhen the last step is al
(49:28):
ays celebrating. So I celebratewith a mimosa and I celebrate an
win anyone from the week somewins some weeks. It was j
st I literally got through theweek or I got to take a walk
on a Thursday afternoon. So takethat time to celebra
Emily Thompson (49:46):
Nice. So you do your money dates on Friday. Is
there any specific reason whyyou choose that or do you have
any recommendations for how tomake your money date really
impactful for yourself?
Danetha Doe (50:00):
Whoo, I love this.
So I choose Friday becauseFriday always seems fun. It's
the same day that my fiance andI have date night like Friday
just seems like a fun day. Butyou can choose any day that
works for you, Friday seems likea great way to close the week.
Ways to make it more impactful.
One thing that I've been doingrecently with my money day is
(50:24):
including my fiance in it. So Ido recommend, like, this is your
time with your money, get yourfeet up under you and like check
in with yourself all thosethings. And then if you are in a
partnership or relationship,where there's money being
exchanged between the two of youlike money is a part of the
relationship. For me what'screated, more impact was
(50:51):
allowing Nick to be a part of myday. And for me why that was
because I can get into ambitiousmode, that's my default mode, I
can be a warrior woman. And partof my lesson from 2019 was
realizing I need to learn how toreceive and surrender and allow
(51:13):
myself to be taken care of. Andso allowing Nick to be a part of
my money date help me feel morecomfortable with sharing more of
my anything that I was goingthrough, any challenges, and
allowing him to be able to takecare of me in ways that I didn't
realize was available to me.
Emily Thompson (51:33):
Whoo, sounds like a real good money date.
Real good one. I like it. I likeit. Perfect. Thank you so much
for sharing all of that. I lovethat you do that. And I will say
too there's a stark differencebetween, you know, one of the
things that I was doing veryearly in my business was my own
bookkeeping, and so many, somany new bosses do and I did it
(51:55):
for a couple of years. And Ialso had a routine where every
Friday morning, I would sit downand I would do my bookkeeping
for the week. But it wasn't fun.
Like it was not any fancy moneydate, it was a slog to like sit
down and spend my morningfighting with QuickBooks or
whatever it was that I was usingback then before I knew any
better. And really before therewas really any good choice of
(52:16):
tools to use. But it wasdifferent. It was not a
pleasurable money date. But whatyou're saying is that you can do
this with just like a shift ofmindset. And the idea of turning
it from this thing on your to dolist that you have to do every
week into a ritual where you'regetting in touch with your own
(52:36):
money stories, and you arethinking about wealth instead of
expenses. I mean, you'rethinking about both in both
cases, but it is a mindsetshift. It's as simple as a
mindset shift that can makemanaging your money and staying
in touch with your money,significantly more joyful than
what most creatives especiallyprobably experience.
Danetha Doe (53:01):
I'm glad you brought that up. Because how you
feel during this money date issomething to pay attention to.
So if it feels like a slog,brainstorm ways where it doesn't
feel like a slog. And that couldbe a far jump. So take it one
step at a time, maybe it's I'vegot my crystal here, maybe it's
adding an amethyst crystal. Sothis crystal makes me think of
(53:23):
beauty. It could be lighting acandle, so it may still feel
like a slog. But that littleaddition brings a sense of peace
or beauty or love to thesituation. It could be dancing
before doing it. Just putting onsome fun music and getting into
a party mood. If you are in aplace in your business where you
(53:46):
are able to outsource yourbookkeeping, that's beautiful
too. Get to that place where youcan hire someone else to
maintain it and and stay intouch with your money. The last
thing you want to do is turn,become apathetic in terms of
expecting someone else to takecare of it. So ask your
bookkeeper for a weekly update.
And that could be, maybe it'stwo numbers that he or she sends
(54:09):
you and then and then you lookat your own personal finances
you transfer your money from oneaccount to another whatever that
would look like from you knowyour savings and investing
perspective but yes, make it,focus on the fun. For sure.
Emily Thompson (54:28):
Yes, absolutely.
Okay, so I think money date is areally great healthy money habit
for anyone to adopt forthemselves. Do you have any
other healthy money habitspeople can start practicing?
Danetha Doe (54:40):
Yes, one of the other ones that I love to do is
a money mantra. And so you cansay these mantras throughout the
day. I personally like to say itas I'm going to bed because I
believe our dream state is our,is a powerful creation state. So
I like to feed myself physicallyfeed myself and mentally feed
(55:02):
myself with positivity. Sosaying money mantra before you
go to bed. And then anotherhabit that I recently started
doing that I'm loving isspending $10,000 every day. So
just the practice, right? Like,take a pause.
Emily Thompson (55:21):
Yeah.
Danetha Doe (55:22):
It's not actually spending $10,000? But go through
the practice of okay. Every day,I've got to spend 10 grand, what
are you going to spend it on?
What are you gonna, I mean,there's so many things to spend
money on. And getting into thatstate, I do believe elevates our
frequency shifts our mindsetfrom scarcity to abundance,
because we're not trying tohoard this 10 grand, we're just
(55:44):
putting it back into the economyto allow it to flow. And that
will train you to see Oh, wow,this is what 10 grand can get me
I want to get to that place,then you'll go back and
brainstorm ways to make moneyand it's just this whole flow
that will be be sparked.
Emily Thompson (56:06):
That is my favorite new, favorite new
practice. I'm going to adoptthat. I've never heard of such a
thing. Thank you for sharing.
Danetha Doe (56:13):
You're welcome
Emily Thompson (56:14):
I'm in.
Danetha Doe (56:15):
Let's do it.
Emily Thompson (56:16):
I'm hiring you every day. How about that?
Danetha Doe (56:19):
Let's spend 10 grand together. Right.
Emily Thompson (56:21):
Yes.
Danetha Doe (56:22):
Let's spend 10 grand together. Imagine what you
could do. Oh my gosh. Yeah. Oh,that's good.
Emily Thompson (56:30):
Awesome.
Anything else?
Danetha Doe (56:31):
Those I would say those. Those are the healthy
habits.
Emily Thompson (56:35):
Yeah, perfect.
Oh, I love it. Thank you so muchfor sharing all that. And thank
you so much for coming andsharing your money, wisdom and
insights, especially at such atime I think this is sort of
info is the kind of info thateveryone is like, kind of
hurting for like even if youdidn't know that you were
probably holding some anxietyand experiencing your own bit of
(56:57):
trauma. I think everyone canrecognize even very recent
moments where we felt thescarcity or, you know, been
afraid of what's going to happennext or have felt a shift and
how it is that we think aboutour money. So I appreciate you
coming and sharing all of this.
Danetha Doe (57:15):
You're so welcome Emily and thank you for the
opportunity to share.
Emily Thompson (57:20):
Awesome I have two last questions for you. If
we may.
Danetha Doe (57:23):
Sure.
Emily Thompson (57:24):
First and foremost is what is making you
feel most boss these days.
Danetha Doe (57:29):
Hmmm. I am feeling most boss when I'm writing. I
get, I have so many downloads. Inever know what exactly is going
to come out of the pen and Ifeel so boss when I'm writing.
Emily Thompson (57:48):
I love that writing doesn't take anything
more than a pencil and a paperand some brain space to let
things come through. Hmm, I lovethat. Okay, and last but not
least, where can people find outmore about you?
Danetha Doe (58:05):
You can find me over at moneyandmimosas.com. All
my social media handles arethere every day I post the Money
mantra on Instagram. So ifthat's something you're into,
you can check that out. And thenyeah, all of our content on
Money and Mimosas is all aboutfinancial financial freedom.
Emily Thompson (58:24):
Wonderful. Thank you so much.
Danetha Doe (58:26):
Thank you.
Emily Thompson (58:31):
Thanks for listening. And hey, if you want
more resources, we're talkingworksheets, free trainings in
person meetups and vacations andmore. Go to our website at
www.beingboss.club.
Kathleen Shannon (58:44):
Do the work.
Be boss.
I'm Emily Thompson.
Kathleen Shannon (00:04):
And I'm Kathleen Shannon.
Emily Thompson (00:05):
And this is Being Boss. And this Being Boss
episode, I'm joined by DanethaDoe to talk about addressing
your money stories and combatingscarcity mindset and tips for
building a solid financialfoundation. As always, you can
find all the tools, books andlinks we reference on the show
(00:26):
notes at www.beingboss.club.
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Emily Thompson (01:35):
Danthea Doe is the creator of Money and
Mimosas, a financial well beingresource enjoyed by readers in
over 50 countries. Danthea hasbeen named a personal finance
expert by Fast Company and theWall Street Journal. She was
recognized as a millennialthought leader by the Hong Kong
Institute of CPAs. And amillennial entrepreneur to watch
by the Office of CongresswomanBarbara Lee. Danthea is the star
(01:58):
financial expert in the TVseries Going From Broke produced
by Ashton Kutcher, whichgarnered over 12 million views
in it's first season. A formerNFL cheerleader turned money
maven and entrepreneur Dantheabelieves that charting your own
path is the key to financialfreedom. And if you'd like to
get caught up on Danthea we'vehad her on the podcast before
(02:21):
episode number 168. Hi, Danthea.
I'm so glad that you have joinedus today. How are you doing?
Danetha Doe (02:31):
I'm good, Emily, I'm feeling at peace and focused
and super excited to reconnectwith you and dive into our
conversation.
Emily Thompson (02:40):
Right. So you were last here with us on being
boss back in 2018. Eight, I justlooked it up. It was actually
March 2018. So we're recordingthis. In March, two years ago,
we were hanging out together andwe were talking about money
mindset and energy. And Iremember it being like just one
of the most energizingconversations especially about
(03:00):
money that Kathleen and I hadever had. We loved having you on
so much. But it's been two yearssince we've really connected.
What have you been up to?
Danetha Doe (03:10):
Oh my gosh, I can't believe it's like two years to
the day. That's awesome. Well,so much has changed and so much
hasn't changed as well. What haschanged, Money and Mimosas is my
baby that's continuing to grow.
She can now walk by herself.
She's starting to make her ownfood. Starting to.
Emily Thompson (03:33):
That's a perfect analogy right? Give her a spoon,
and she can feed herself someyogurt.
Danetha Doe (03:41):
We're working on it. But she's now Money and
Mimosas is my platform to spreadtools and information around how
to elevate your self worth andnet worth. We now have readers
in 56 countries, which is reallyexciting. Really exciting. And
what else is new? I did a TVshow since the last time we
(04:02):
chatted.
Emily Thompson (04:03):
Right? No no don't don't move on from that
yet. About this TV show. I sawthat you were doing one. Super
jelly. If you're if anyone who'slistening this will remember
Kathleen wants nothing more thana Netflix show.
Danetha Doe (04:18):
It's happening.
Emily Thompson (04:21):
Right? Good. We can make that happen. But when
we saw you were on, or you hadone for us it was like a what's
it called in manifestation whenyou see someone who's able to do
that first, I can't rememberwhat the word is. But you have
become that like example thatlike bosses who were doing
things can get their own TVshow. So tell us about that.
(04:43):
Tell us, tell us about your TVseries. How that went down. How
you got on it. Did you lovedoing it? Are you now totally
famous?
Danetha Doe (04:56):
I don't know about totally famous. I'm not sure
what the word is for thatmanifestation. But I like to say
I got next, when I see someoneelse that's created something
that I'm like, oh, that would bereally exciting for me to
experience too. I always like tosay I got next. Um, so yes, this
TV show Going From Broke is thename of the series. It was, it
(05:17):
is a 10 episode reality showfocused on millennials and
money. So I was brought on asone of the two co-hosts. And my
role was as the financialexpert, my co-host, owns a large
public technology company. So hewas there with that perspective.
And I came in as the millennialwho understands what we've gone
(05:40):
through financially, and thenalso to provide some guidance
and insights around how tocreate financial freedom as a
millennial. And the theexperience was, it was great in
so many ways, I grew a lot. AndI also, the teachings that I've
(06:03):
learned along my own journey ofcreating financial freedom were
further solidified. How it cameabout was really magical. I, a
friends on Twitter, who I'veactually never met in person
sent me a message and said, hey,there's this casting going on in
LA, it's about millennials andmoney, I think you would be
(06:24):
perfect for it. And, and I sawthe and I read through the
application, they wanted a demoreel, which I have not done TV
before. So I didn't even knowwhat that was, but I definitely
didn't have it. They wanted meto be based in LA, I'm in San
Francisco, there were all thesethings on there where I was
like, I'm not really the bestfit for this. But the one
sentence that they included waswe are looking for a millennial
(06:47):
who can speak to financialtopics, and also understands the
nuances of the emotional side ofmoney was something along those
lines. And I was like, wait,that's something I get, like, I
know that it's not just blackand white numbers on a page.
It's about truly understandingthe person where they're coming
(07:07):
from. And so I sent in, I sentan email with my website and a
brief bio, and the casting agentcalled me within 30 minutes of
sending that email and was like,I want to hop on a video
interview with you. And Iabsolutely love your package.
There are other people to befully transparent. There are
(07:29):
other people that I also lovetoo, so I want to get the ball
rolling. And, and I'm reallygrateful to that casting
director because he during myvideo interview with him coached
me on how to be prepared forthese types of interviews
depending upon who I wasspeaking with. So there's a
difference between speaking to aTV producer versus a casting
(07:50):
agent versus anyone else in thebusiness. So after about six
interviews, that included flyingto LA meeting with the
producers. I was casted as thefinancial expert for the show.
Emily Thompson (08:06):
That does sound magical, and like so much fun.
And I love that you say that.
What it did for your expertiseis just solidify the things that
you'd been working on in yourown business. Can you speak to
that a little bit more? Likewhat are some of those things
that came up for you, whenworking through whatever these
scenarios are. And maybe you caneven like share a little bit
(08:28):
about what the reality TV layoutwas for this. But really what it
was in your work that wassolidified by doing this?
Danetha Doe (08:38):
Totally. So I lived in LA to film this show. I lived
there for about three months.
And over that course of thattime, we worked with 10
different individuals, there's10 shows, 10 episodes, and each
episode features an individualor we actually had a couple too
on the show. And each episodefocused on one particular topic
(08:59):
within finance. I mean, overall,everyone has student loans. Most
people have student loans at 80%of them. So that was the
overarching discussion. Butthere are other scenarios to
like the one with the couple.
They, the it was a heterosexualcouple. So the husband had
(09:20):
recently lost his job. He washit by a car. He's a
firefighter, and so he was outof work. At the same time, his
wife who's a therapist and losther job, they have two little
kids and so they were alreadyliving somewhat paycheck to
paycheck already and then we canimagine now they're in a real
dire situation. And so we talkedabout how they could A, figure
(09:45):
out how to make money on theside figure out other ways of
generating income. They also hada lot of credit cards, which
they had started using prior tothis financial catastrophe so
they were on already trending.
They were already utilizingcredit cards and and not paying
them off and come to find outthe husband thought they only
(10:08):
had four credit cards. And thewife showed him that they had
12.
Emily Thompson (10:14):
Oh, my god.
Danetha Doe (10:15):
Yes. So this was all on camera where he realized,
Oh, no, we actually are in amuch worse financial situation
than I was, I even knew. And sofor me in that situation, the
conventional wisdom is to focuson the credit cards, just to
talk about, okay, how do wecreate a plan where we stop
(10:37):
using credit cards, maybe cutthem up, and then pay them down.
However, from my own personalexperience in the work that I
do, there's some, there'sanother layer to that there is a
disconnection between thehusband and the wife, and we
need to address not why sheopened up new credit cards,
we'll get there. But we have toactually talk about why she
(10:59):
didn't feel safe to bring thisup in the marriage to you. And
so those kinds of conversation,that type of conversation opened
up a whole other conversationwithin that couple where we
could start to peel back thelayers of Okay, we're gonna get
through this, yes, you're bothgonna get employed again, we're
(11:20):
going to get to a place whereyou can pay off the debt, but we
want to make sure you'rebuilding a solid foundation in
order to do that.
So it was those types ofconversations that solidified
for me, the emotional and thepsychological side of money is
paramount in these types ofsituations, situations. We can't
(11:40):
just deal with the surface levelfinancial conversation, we have
to talk about the underlyingroot cause of what's happening.
And now, I do want to share alsowith the student loan situation,
since that was something thatwas present in 8 of the 10
(12:02):
guests we had on the show, theconventional wisdom was to tell
them that they, the conventionalwisdom was to create a plan, and
I'm laughing because it'sabsolutely ridiculous, create a
plan where they pay off theirstudent loans as quickly as
possible. So what does thatmean? That means that they
somehow figure out how to makemore money, or, in most cases,
(12:24):
cut out everything that theylove in life, in order to be
able to make more payments. Andthat does not address the root
cause of why we are in a studentloan crisis situation. And once
that information was shared withthe individuals, it gave them,
(12:46):
the strength and the knowledgethat hey, this isn't my fault.
The $600, $700, $800 per monthbill wasn't my doing, it's not
because I'm bad at money,actually, I'm really good at
money. And when you have thatmindset, where you believe in
yourself, then you're able tomake a positive, take positive
(13:07):
steps towards creating financialfreedom. If you feel like you're
the problem, which a lot ofconventional wisdom will try to
say that particularly when itcomes to student loans. You're
just damaging the person's selfesteem, and they aren't able to
move forward from that place. Sothose two things really
solidified some of the thingsthat I, I've known to be true,
(13:31):
but now I was able to see itreflected back.
Emily Thompson (13:34):
Right, those money stories are the things
that affect how it is that you Iguess behave with money, those
things run deep, like real deep.
And so I love that you weregiven this opportunity to to
work through these situationswith what it sounds like
multiple different kinds ofpeople who you know,
(13:55):
millennials, so like in asimilar generation with similar
sort of experiences, butdifferent enough that everyone
had different experiences. Butthe sounds like most of the same
underlying money story issues.
Danetha Doe (14:12):
Money story issues?
Yes, definitely understandingour emotional relationship to
money is that's everyone hassome everyone has a relationship
with money. It's whether or notit's working for you or against
you, and it can ebb and flow.
Sometimes my relationship withmoney is working for me. And
sometimes I had to put myselfback in check and realize, Oh,
(14:34):
I'm acting out of a woundedplace when I'm engaging with
money. And it's the moneystories, it's also with knowing
that we're in a differenteconomy now, in terms of we
can't just rely on one source ofincome. And we have to develop
the skills and the mindset andlearn and be able to create
(14:57):
wealth. It's not about cuttingback expenses. No, this is about
learning how to create wealth.
And so those, unfortunately,that particular skill of mindset
isn't taught in our traditionalschool setting in most schools.
So we've had some go to otherresources, like Being Boss and
other resources to figure outhow to make that happen for
(15:22):
ourselves, right?
Emily Thompson (15:25):
If only we were taught these sort of money
relationship, things in school,like when they're teaching us
how to like write a check, like,also, here's some feelings you
should be practicing whileyou're writing these checks. I
think we'd all find yourselves adifferent place. I want to go
back to this thing that you justsaid about feeling wounded
around money, because I think weare probably all finding
(15:45):
ourselves in a time where ourmoney, our energies around
money, our money mindset isshifting, our money stories are
shifting. So I'd love to talk alittle bit about how sort of the
shifts in economy, and literallyeverything in the world right
now are affecting how you feelabout money. And if there are
(16:08):
any larger shifts that you'reseeing beyond yourself as well.
Danetha Doe (16:12):
Oh, wow, that's a big question. I'll start with
saying that. No one could haveknown what we're going to
experience in 2020. Some of usfelt a big shift happening, but
none of us could see whatexactly that was. Um, for me, I
(16:36):
would say 2019, especiallyprepared me for this year, in
that, I started working with myshadow side, a lot of it to do
with money. But also, I mean,money for me is a reflection of
life. So it has to do with mylife, really, and, and my shadow
side that I was working through,reveals to me all of the
(17:01):
microaggressions, I hadexperienced as a black woman
specifically, I had not lookedat that. And that was incredibly
painful to realize how damaged Ihad been from certain
experiences. And I startedworking with an energy healer
(17:22):
and actually had an epigeneticepisode where I exctreted
physically exctreted the traumarelated to that, to my
experience as a black person, ablack woman, and for those that
may not be familiar with thatterm, because I didn't even know
what it was until after ithappened. Epigenetics is a study
(17:43):
of intergenerational trauma. Andso scientists have, scientists
have worked with mice, to seethat trauma is actually passed
down from the parents, to thechildren and to the
grandchildren. And you can lookup the study that they've done.
(18:03):
It's the mice and cherryblossoms study where where the
smell of cherry blossoms createda trauma like experience for the
parents, and then it continueddown the line. Um, and so that's
the same for humans, we allcarry trauma within us. And the,
(18:28):
it's, you know, it's one thingto work through the trauma, but
we even have to know that we'vebeen traumatized. We have to
even know that we've beenwounded.
And so for me, that 2019, thatwas my period, it was about a
nine month period of me workingwith and through this. And so to
answer your question about howthat changed me, because I
(18:51):
believe 2020, I believe myexperience is not in solitude, I
believe others will have asimilar experience, especially
now with what we're allexperiencing in 2020. For me,
2019 showed me that I have toget back to the roots of having
joy and love and creating from aplace of passion. I had through
(19:18):
2019 I realized I am a writer,like period. That that is it.
Like Yes, I could do all theseother things. I can be called a
financial expert. We all wearlots of hats. And I have to
believe in my innate gifts ofwriting to be able to provide
for me financially, I had turnedmy back to that identity. And I
(19:42):
had to get back to that place ofYeah, I've been writing since I
was six. Like this is where Ifind the most joy. This is where
I connect with my higher self.
That's how I get messages isthrough writing it out. And so
that has to be at the forefrontof my life and so from an
economic standpoint, my businesscompletely shifted to that being
(20:03):
the focus. financial coaching isgreat business coaching is
great. All these things that Ido, TV shows are great. At the
core, my way of expressing mysoul is through writing. And so
I believe going through 2020, myhope, actually, it's my hope.
(20:23):
And I honestly don't believethat it cannot not happen.
Because we're all waking up tothis, I do believe more and more
people are going to wake up to,they have got to get in touch
with their soul, whatever wordthey want to use. Soul, spirit,
consciousness, we've got to getback to the roots of what that
is, and express ourselvesthrough that and trust, when
(20:45):
we're just talking about money,trust that we will be
financially compensated from ourinnate gifts. And, and for me,
and for from my perspective, Ibelieve that's what 2020 from
how the economy will shift, itwill reflect that that very
idea.
Emily Thompson (21:06):
Hmm, I feel this, I feel this a lot. One of
the things that I keep thinkingabout too, is this idea where
all of the extras are currentlybeing stripped away. Like all of
the extra sort of jobs thatyou're doing, or hobbies that
you have, or like anything thatyou can't just, I always, I have
a 12 year old daughter. So Ialways think about like, she's
(21:29):
constantly coming to me askingme to allow her to do something
else like, and I'm always sayingto her, you have so many things
within your own capacity to doand enjoy and be happy with and
be fulfilled. And like you don'tneed to go somewhere else, do
something else, talk to someoneelse, have anything else. Like
sometimes I just need you topractice being happy with the
(21:51):
things that you have. And I kindof feel like we're all getting
mom-ed as 12 year old kids atthe moment saying, No, you're
I'm gonna put you in your houseand lock the door, and you're
gonna be happy.
Danetha Doe (22:07):
Oh my gosh, yes.
Emily Thompson (22:10):
Right. So we're all having to find like, okay,
no, we've created these homesfor ourselves, you either did or
didn't create these homes foryourself. And you've either
filled them with things thatbring you joy, or you haven't,
and you've either cultivatedhobbies or knowledge or
experiences that are making youhappy, or you haven't. And so
we're all being sort of put inthese places to look at the
(22:31):
lives that we've built forourselves, as well as finding
out how good we can be with, youknow, finding out what kind of
makes us happy when we havelimited resources. So I think
you're right, I think all ofthat stripping away, forces us
to sort of look ourselves in theface and say, you know, I have a
limited number of things I cando right now. But I do have
(22:53):
things that I can do right now.
So what do I want to do? That'sgonna make me happy when I have
no other options? ,
Danetha Doe (22:58):
Oh my gosh, always coming with the truth, Emily,
like the realness. We are allgetting mom-ed, yes. Go to your
room. You're gonna look at thatblank wall, or you're gonna
figure out how that's gonna makeyou happy.
Emily Thompson (23:13):
Right? You have a closet full of art supplies in
there. So like figure it out.
Danetha Doe (23:17):
Yes, that is what's happening here. I Yes, all the
yeses.
Emily Thompson (23:23):
Right. And I also see this really interesting
place. And maybe you can speakto this. Or maybe it's just we
can reflect off each other for asecond, where I do see a very
stark difference between peoplewho are, who could not be more
put out and annoyed and angry atthe situation and people who
were really just finding that,like, I'm gonna make the best of
this. Like, there doesn't seemto be much of a middle ground.
(23:44):
It's like you're either soangry, or you're like, doing it.
Danetha Doe (23:48):
Yes, I'm so with you on that. It's anger, it's
entitlements as well too like,Oh my gosh, going to just the
grocery store. Sometimes it'sinteresting to see people that
Hello, we're in the middle of aglobal pandemic. I mean, no one
has ever said those wordsbefore. And so can you please
(24:10):
like put down the bananas? Likeyou don't need all the bananas?
Um, and then there are thosethat Yeah, they found peace.
They they're finding joy they'refinding. Yeah, there is
definitely a clear distinctionbetween the two. And you're
right, I feel you're right toothat there isn't going to be,
there isn't a middle and I thinkgoing forward, those of us that
(24:33):
have done the inner work to getto that place of being able to
find joy, peace during thistime. We're not going to be
complacent anymore. Like we are,and I hold myself accountable to
this too, because someone who Ifeel like I have an endless well
(24:54):
of compassion for people and Iwill you know, even if someone
is speaking something that Iknow not to necessarily true or
resonate with me, I'll let it gojust because, well, we all have
opinions. We all have thoughts.
We all have ideas. No, if notanymore. You don't know. There's
going to be conviction. Now,when I speak when I connect with
(25:20):
someone, if it doesn'timmediately resonate, I'm gonna
speak it. And I feel that I'mnot alone in that I think those
of us that have done all of thatwork to get to this place, where
we realize, hey, the normal thatwe used to have is actually
really unhealthy. And I'm goingto speak up now.
Emily Thompson (25:40):
Right, we can shape our own reality now, much
more so than we could before butonly for those who show us who
show up and actually take thatpower into our hands and use it.
Yes, do the work. Be boss.
Yeah. Amen.
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Emily Thompson (27:00):
I want to go to this this guy at the grocery
store buying all the bananas. Ifwe may for a second, because I
think this is a time of rampantscarcity mindset. Rampant and
you know, toilet paper is stillan issue. Very big issue. I'm
running low. I have a little bitof scarcity mindset at the
(27:21):
moment about toilet paper, butlike it's not mindset, it's
reality. I want to talk aboutscarcity mindset, because I know
that's one of the topics thatyou enjoy speaking about. And I
feel like it's something thateveryone at the moment can
relate to, on some level. Whatis scarcity mindset? And how do
you identify when it is creepinginto your life? And why do you
not want it there?
Danetha Doe (27:42):
Yes. So scarcity mindset is this fundamental
belief that there is not enoughto go around. We're seeing this
with toilet paper. We're seeingthis with bananas. I like oat
milk, and people are, that'sflying off the shelves for some
reason. Those are funnyexamples. I'm using air quotes,
(28:02):
but funny examples, but theytruly reflect a deeper disease.
I believe scarcity mindset is anillness. And it's a rampant
disease, especially in thefinancial space, which is why we
are experiencing an incrediblydevastating financial fallout
(28:22):
from this. We experiencedsomething similar in 2008. 2008
is going to pale in comparisonto the harm that's going to
happen from this. I mean, thestate of Ohio said that there
was reported that there were40,000 Unemployment Claims,
Monday and Tuesday, that'scompared to 1,800, the week
(28:42):
before. So...
Emily Thompson (28:44):
Oh my goodness.
Danetha Doe (28:45):
this is going to be unprecedented. And it's going to
ripple through the economy. Noneof us are going to be immune to
this in terms of none of us canturn our back to this. Now,
those of us that practice havingan abundant mindset where we
know that there is more thanenough to go around, our
creativity, just as there's anunlimited amount of creativity,
(29:07):
an unlimited amount of love,there is unlimited money,
because we all have the capacityto create wealth and how the
situation is going to trigger,understandably trigger our
feelings of scarcity mindset,even for those of us that have
been doing the work around this.
And imagine how it's going to beincredibly triggering for those
(29:29):
that have not done the workaround this. So how does it
creep up. It's always creeps upin these ways, but especially
during this period. We have tobe incredibly tuned into how we
charge, you cannot undercharge.
We cannot barter like that's theonly way to get services. We
(29:53):
have got to be okay withcharging for services and being
willing of course to work withpeople. But coming from that
place of always bartering, wecannot continue to do that. We
also cannot ask other people toslash their prices. Just as we
want to be treated, we have totreat others. And we have to
(30:14):
come from a place of believingthat there's more than enough to
go around. This also, that's theindividual entrepreneur boss to
boss interaction. The scarcitymindset also shows up and how
we've been apathetic to publicpolicies and economic policies
that created widespreadinjustice, we can no longer just
(30:39):
spread love and light, peaceful,happy thoughts. No people need
money in their bank accounts.
And so when we do that, though,when we just think that love and
light if someone just thinkspositively is going to change
their situation, we neglect tosee that there are actually
systems and structures put inplace where it doesn't matter.
(31:01):
Honestly, what someone's mindsetis, they are not able to make
money to support themselves,minimum, and they certainly
can't thrive. And so we have tobe more engaged politically, we
have to understand how our localcity's economic policies work,
I'll share a perfect example.
Because sometimes I'll get to aplace of like, of course,
(31:22):
everyone gets this, of course,everyone's going to come from a
place of abundance and share.
And then universe will quicklyshow me an example of where
that's not true. And so two daysago, I'm scrolling through my
Instagram, and I come across avideo of a city in I think it's
(31:43):
Lake County don't quote me onthe county, but in Florida,
where there's a hearing, so themayor's holding a hearing about
what they're going to do aboututility payments for the county,
because, for the city is it wasthe mayor, so the city, what
they're gonna do about utilitypayments, because they are a lot
of people are filingunemployment claims, they aren't
(32:05):
sure when they're going to gettheir next paycheck. And their
public utilities company, shutoff power to individuals in the
midst of this global pandemic,just this week, just this week,
(32:27):
and the mayor refused to see whythat was a problem. The
commissioner was trying toexplain to her that we are
asking people to give their lastcheck to us, in the middle of a
global pandemic, and she couldnot hear it, she could not see
why that was a problem. And sowe each have to be incredibly
(32:51):
diligent in our local politicalenvironment, because those types
of things cannot happen.
Emily Thompson (33:00):
Agreed, I feel like this global situation is
going to continue to bring outthe best and worst in any and
all individuals and systems. AndI agree that it's going to be
those of us who are watching andlistening and who care enough to
be watching and listening tohold people accountable to
(33:22):
showing up and taking care ofeach other regardless of so many
situations. And I think that issuch a good example of that. I
want to bring this back toindividual bosses and really
helping, helping us all dealwith our own scarcity mindsets.
As we are navigating the nextcouple of weeks and months as we
(33:47):
fill our businesses beginning toshrink. And you talked about,
you talked about getting peopleto charge what they're worth.
But I would also love to hearyou speak on the flip side of
that, which is feelingcomfortable paying people for
things. So I think we're allstruggling right now with the
idea of like, you know, do Ireally need to buy that book
(34:07):
from Amazon because maybe Idon't really need to read that
book right now. Or you know,hiring someone to help you with
something in your business orinvesting in something in your
business that you need to bemoving forward. Because I will
sort of add this thing to isthat one day this will end and
you're gonna want your businessto be better for it. Not still
(34:27):
sitting there struggling becauseof it.
Danetha Doe (34:30):
Absolutely.
Absolutely. Oh, you ask the bestquestions. And you have such
incredible insight. Yes. Payingfor services is going to be a
reflection of your mindset.
Being comfortable with sharingyour resources because that is
what money is. It is a resourceand it's about sharing and
(34:54):
allowing it to flow. I love topicture the economy as water.
Water is meant to nourish all ofus. And it only nourishes all of
us when it's flowing, imaginestagnant water, that's toxic,
nasty things breed in that. Wewant to continue to let the
(35:14):
water flow over the rocks, we'renow hitting a bunch of rocks, we
want it to flow and continue tocleanse all of us. And I'll
share a personal example, welost a client, we were one of
the people that they decided tocut. And I completely, you know,
I completely understand thosedecisions. In terms of managing
(35:40):
resources. What I did inresponse was turn around and
hire somebody. Because thisperiod, how we are in this
period is going to reap ahundredfold. And that reaping is
either going to come from anabundant place, or very, very,
very scarce place.
Emily Thompson (36:01):
Yes, I'm sorry, I was just making the scariest
face probably. I didn't mean tostop you dead in your tracks
there.
Danetha Doe (36:11):
Weel the face was correct. Because imagine
hundredfold, like we all want tothink about reaping from a
beautiful, lush place. Imaginereaping from a dry, arid,
cracked place, that is what isgoing to be the result. And it
all depends on who you are inthis period. That doesn't mean
(36:34):
you have to turn around and hiresomebody. I mean, that is,
everyone has to look at theirown finances, analyze their own
risk tolerance as well. But itcould mean buying gift
certificates from your localrestaurant, it could mean maybe
you do buy that $9.99 book fromAmazon, it doesn't have to be a
(36:54):
huge amount of money. Becausethat's all relative, it's about
the intention behind the action.
And so yes, being willing tospend mindfully, intentionally
and with purpose, I do believewe're in a karma economy. I've
always felt that. But I believepart of the drastic shifts, like
(37:16):
we are done being in, at leastin the United States, a
capitalist society. That, thosestructures are gone, they are
completely broken down just asan individual who like for me, I
was completely broken down,physically put on my knees, we
as an economic society, ourstructures are not there
(37:39):
anymore. They're not there,Delta Airlines is cutting 70% of
their flights. I mean the taxdeadline was actually pushed
back three months that oursystems are, we're always a
creation. And we can createsomething different, but it's
going to start from a boss toboss perspective, it's going to
(38:00):
start from you making decisionsfrom a place of abundance, or a
place of scarcity. There's no inbetween, just like we were
talking about earlier, there'sno in between anymore.
Emily Thompson (38:15):
Hmm, I'm feeling this too. And he will say do one
of the things that I've alwaysloved about doing online
business. And the thing thatI've always seen with, you know,
watching, watching people buildonline communities is what a lot
of them end up doing, especiallyin these small business
communities is we're actuallybuilding small economies, we're
building these little bubbleeconomies that you know, we're
(38:37):
all hiring each other, we're allpaying each other's bills like
we keep, we have the ability tocreate these bubbles and keep
the water flowing within them.
And but that only continues ifwe all continue flowing our
water in and out. And insidethat bubble like we don't have
to be as affected by what'shappening literally everywhere
(38:57):
else in the world. We weren'tbeing hugely oh, I guess we were
being hugely affected by itbefore. But now we can be even
more intentional within thesesmall little bubble economies
that we've created. I've neverseen a need to use them until
now. But now that now that we'rein a place where we need them,
(39:17):
I'm glad that we have them likethe Being Boss Community is a
perfect example of this. WhereI've seen it for years. I've
watched it. I've talked topeople about it. One of the
things I love most about thecommunity that we've built, is
we've actually built an economy.
This tiny, little economy. Ithink if we can keep the money
flowing within this, we'll allbe fine. And we'll all come out
of it significantly better, butnot if we stop. Not if we stop
(39:40):
our economy.
Danetha Doe (39:41):
Yes, I love that.
We do have the power to createour own economy that's at the
core of what you're saying youwe do have the ability to
continue to thrive, to continueto live a full life which does
take financial resources and weare able to to continue to keep
that water flowing, and and it'sthe Being Boss Community, it's
(40:03):
Money and Mimosas community.allof these communities. And then
we do spill out, may our cuprunneth over, we are going to
spill out into the wild wildworld out there, that is going
to wake up to how beautiful ourworlds is. And we're able to
positively effect be a part ofthe positive effects as well.
Emily Thompson (40:27):
Right? Let's definitely spill out out rather
some Money and Mimosass andBeing Boss spilled all over the
world than anything elsepersonally.
Danetha Doe (40:38):
Same, same.
Emily Thompson (40:43):
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(42:10):
All right, I want to get reallytactical now, if we may, I would
love for you to share a coupleof steps that our bosses need to
be taking right now in order tocreate some financial security
or I think as you call it asfinancial foundation for
themselves and their family andin this crazy time, but also
(42:32):
maybe just in general.
Danetha Doe (42:34):
Totally, great question. And I love this
question. Because these aresteps that we need to take all
the time. It's like I one of thetakeaways from me during this
pandemic is how importantgetting back to the basics is
and maintaining the basics.
Washing our hands is a basicthing. But that is what's going
to save us, part of what's goingto save us I should say. So when
(42:58):
it comes to financial, setting asolid financial foundation, this
is important now more than ever,and this is something hopefully
we all continue to maintainbecause it's just like building
your own financial immunesystem. So the first step, we've
got to start with the emotionalpsychological consciousness side
(43:19):
of it, whichever word bestresonates. But you have to
understand your money story. AndI do believe it is a lifelong
process. But particularly duringthis period, we want to tune
into the shadow side. So theseare feelings of shame and guilt.
We cannot extract race from thefrom economics. So each of us
(43:40):
has to look at our experiencethrough that lens. Most of the
listeners are going to be in theUnited States. So we also have
to look through the lens of howwe've harmed the global economy
as Americans, that's gonna beuncomfortable stuff. Like if you
feel comfortable doing thiswork, you're not doing it right.
(44:00):
You're not. And so the shadowside of the money story, we all
have to look at, some resourcesfor people you can look to Layla
Saad, I shouldn't call herresource. Some teachers, you
should look to Layla Saad. She'sthe host of the Good Ancestor
podcast. There's also RachelCargle, who does work around
(44:23):
around this type of stuff interms of privilege and unpacking
that what that looks like. Ifyou, you know, Netflix,
Privilege documentary, likethose types of things, we all
have to start looking atourselves. And then the second
step, so that's the theconsciousness side. And the
(44:44):
second step then is get into thepractice of learning how to
brainstorming ways to makemoney, this needs to be done
every single day, even if youdon't take action on these
ideas. Get your mind, prepareyour mind for being able to see
an opportunity and to createfrom that place of opportunity.
(45:07):
So every day, brainstorm two tothree ideas that you can create
wealth. And then the last stepis get all of your finances in
one place. This could be abookkeeping program, it could be
Excel, whatever you like to use,make sure everything is in one
place.
Emily Thompson (45:29):
What are some of your favorite tools?
Danetha Doe (45:31):
For the bookkeeping? I personally.
Emily Thompson (45:34):
For your finances all in one place,
whatever that means for you.
Danetha Doe (45:38):
Sure. So keeping my finances all in one place looks
like I get a daily alert from mybank account with every time I
spend more than $20. Because Iwant to be in touch with my
money. It also helps you know,if there's a fraudulent charge
like that, it's helpful to seethat immediately as well. I use
(45:59):
Xero, Xero for my accounting,I'm a huge fan of FreshBooks as
well. It's not about the toolnecessarily, it's about using
it. So find one that you enjoyworking with. I also use Excel
as well, just because I like toexport my information out and
like play around with like,where could I be in June of 2021
(46:20):
financially. But those thosesimple tools, if you're a pen
and paper person, that's fine,too. I do, during my money date,
write down how much Itransferred to my savings, or I
write down how much we made thatweek because I love the pen to
paper feeling. But those areyeah, all any any of those
(46:40):
tools, or any one tool will dothe trick.
Emily Thompson (46:44):
All right, you just mentioned money date. Tell
me a little bit about that.
Danetha Doe (46:48):
So money dates, this is something that I mean,
I've, I consider it a ritual.
It's something fun. I do believemore than ever having a ritual
around our money. And infusingintention and purpose when we
engage with it is, has alwaysbeen critical, especially now,
it's going to be massivelycritical to get us all to a
(47:12):
place where we can experiencepeace and prosperity. So money
dates is my my time. It's everyFriday where I sit down, and
first I go through my income. Sowhat I brought in that week,
then I go through where I spentmy money and how I felt. How do
I feel about those expenses? Isit a reflection of, of where I
(47:36):
want to be spending my money.
'll give you an example. So Ion't have a car and I bike
verywhere or I take publc transit, or I take Lyft. A
d there was one month whereI spent over $500 on Lyfts. And
y immediate reaction was like,h my gosh, you know, you spent w
y too much money like, reel itin what are you doing. And then
(48:00):
he next voice said, sit and lok through each Lyft expense. A
d recall why you use Lyft. AndI realized each time I used it w
s A, for business, which onne level is a tax deduction. But
on a deeper level, it was my, mspending was a reflection of th
(48:24):
investment in something thattruly care about. And takin
Lyfts allowed me to wear a dresas opposed to biking, I couldn'
wear a dress, it gave me thspace to be able to get read
and arrive at wherever I waarriving in a fully collecte
somewhat pampered state becausLyft is like having your ow
(48:44):
personal driver. And so oncerealized that I realized, Oh no
you're not spending too much oLyft you actually need t
increase your budget for youtransportation more and then yo
need to figure out how to creatmore wealth. So you don't ge
that immediate reaction of Oohgoodness, I spent too much. S
as you go through your expensesreflect on how you feel. And i
(49:06):
it's something that gives yopause, dig a little deeper as
o why it's giving you pause ad perhaps it does mean you c
t back on, in that area or it miht mean you need to create m
re wealth in order to sustaint. And then there's some ot
er steps I do one is pay myslf first, transfer money t
my savings or investing andhen the last step is al
(49:28):
ays celebrating. So I celebratewith a mimosa and I celebrate an
win anyone from the week somewins some weeks. It was j
st I literally got through theweek or I got to take a walk
on a Thursday afternoon. So takethat time to celebra
Emily Thompson (49:46):
Nice. So you do your money dates on Friday. Is
there any specific reason whyyou choose that or do you have
any recommendations for how tomake your money date really
impactful for yourself?
Danetha Doe (50:00):
Whoo, I love this.
So I choose Friday becauseFriday always seems fun. It's
the same day that my fiance andI have date night like Friday
just seems like a fun day. Butyou can choose any day that
works for you, Friday seems likea great way to close the week.
Ways to make it more impactful.
One thing that I've been doingrecently with my money day is
(50:24):
including my fiance in it. So Ido recommend, like, this is your
time with your money, get yourfeet up under you and like check
in with yourself all thosethings. And then if you are in a
partnership or relationship,where there's money being
exchanged between the two of youlike money is a part of the
relationship. For me what'screated, more impact was
(50:51):
allowing Nick to be a part of myday. And for me why that was
because I can get into ambitiousmode, that's my default mode, I
can be a warrior woman. And partof my lesson from 2019 was
realizing I need to learn how toreceive and surrender and allow
(51:13):
myself to be taken care of. Andso allowing Nick to be a part of
my money date help me feel morecomfortable with sharing more of
my anything that I was goingthrough, any challenges, and
allowing him to be able to takecare of me in ways that I didn't
realize was available to me.
Emily Thompson (51:33):
Whoo, sounds like a real good money date.
Real good one. I like it. I likeit. Perfect. Thank you so much
for sharing all of that. I lovethat you do that. And I will say
too there's a stark differencebetween, you know, one of the
things that I was doing veryearly in my business was my own
bookkeeping, and so many, somany new bosses do and I did it
(51:55):
for a couple of years. And Ialso had a routine where every
Friday morning, I would sit downand I would do my bookkeeping
for the week. But it wasn't fun.
Like it was not any fancy moneydate, it was a slog to like sit
down and spend my morningfighting with QuickBooks or
whatever it was that I was usingback then before I knew any
better. And really before therewas really any good choice of
(52:16):
tools to use. But it wasdifferent. It was not a
pleasurable money date. But whatyou're saying is that you can do
this with just like a shift ofmindset. And the idea of turning
it from this thing on your to dolist that you have to do every
week into a ritual where you'regetting in touch with your own
(52:36):
money stories, and you arethinking about wealth instead of
expenses. I mean, you'rethinking about both in both
cases, but it is a mindsetshift. It's as simple as a
mindset shift that can makemanaging your money and staying
in touch with your money,significantly more joyful than
what most creatives especiallyprobably experience.
Danetha Doe (53:01):
I'm glad you brought that up. Because how you
feel during this money date issomething to pay attention to.
So if it feels like a slog,brainstorm ways where it doesn't
feel like a slog. And that couldbe a far jump. So take it one
step at a time, maybe it's I'vegot my crystal here, maybe it's
adding an amethyst crystal. Sothis crystal makes me think of
(53:23):
beauty. It could be lighting acandle, so it may still feel
like a slog. But that littleaddition brings a sense of peace
or beauty or love to thesituation. It could be dancing
before doing it. Just putting onsome fun music and getting into
a party mood. If you are in aplace in your business where you
(53:46):
are able to outsource yourbookkeeping, that's beautiful
too. Get to that place where youcan hire someone else to
maintain it and and stay intouch with your money. The last
thing you want to do is turn,become apathetic in terms of
expecting someone else to takecare of it. So ask your
bookkeeper for a weekly update.
And that could be, maybe it'stwo numbers that he or she sends
(54:09):
you and then and then you lookat your own personal finances
you transfer your money from oneaccount to another whatever that
would look like from you knowyour savings and investing
perspective but yes, make it,focus on the fun. For sure.
Emily Thompson (54:28):
Yes, absolutely.
Okay, so I think money date is areally great healthy money habit
for anyone to adopt forthemselves. Do you have any
other healthy money habitspeople can start practicing?
Danetha Doe (54:40):
Yes, one of the other ones that I love to do is
a money mantra. And so you cansay these mantras throughout the
day. I personally like to say itas I'm going to bed because I
believe our dream state is our,is a powerful creation state. So
I like to feed myself physicallyfeed myself and mentally feed
(55:02):
myself with positivity. Sosaying money mantra before you
go to bed. And then anotherhabit that I recently started
doing that I'm loving isspending $10,000 every day. So
just the practice, right? Like,take a pause.
Emily Thompson (55:21):
Yeah.
Danetha Doe (55:22):
It's not actually spending $10,000? But go through
the practice of okay. Every day,I've got to spend 10 grand, what
are you going to spend it on?
What are you gonna, I mean,there's so many things to spend
money on. And getting into thatstate, I do believe elevates our
frequency shifts our mindsetfrom scarcity to abundance,
because we're not trying tohoard this 10 grand, we're just
(55:44):
putting it back into the economyto allow it to flow. And that
will train you to see Oh, wow,this is what 10 grand can get me
I want to get to that place,then you'll go back and
brainstorm ways to make moneyand it's just this whole flow
that will be be sparked.
Emily Thompson (56:06):
That is my favorite new, favorite new
practice. I'm going to adoptthat. I've never heard of such a
thing. Thank you for sharing.
Danetha Doe (56:13):
You're welcome
Emily Thompson (56:14):
I'm in.
Danetha Doe (56:15):
Let's do it.
Emily Thompson (56:16):
I'm hiring you every day. How about that?
Danetha Doe (56:19):
Let's spend 10 grand together. Right.
Emily Thompson (56:21):
Yes.
Danetha Doe (56:22):
Let's spend 10 grand together. Imagine what you
could do. Oh my gosh. Yeah. Oh,that's good.
Emily Thompson (56:30):
Awesome.
Anything else?
Danetha Doe (56:31):
Those I would say those. Those are the healthy
habits.
Emily Thompson (56:35):
Yeah, perfect.
Oh, I love it. Thank you so muchfor sharing all that. And thank
you so much for coming andsharing your money, wisdom and
insights, especially at such atime I think this is sort of
info is the kind of info thateveryone is like, kind of
hurting for like even if youdidn't know that you were
probably holding some anxietyand experiencing your own bit of
(56:57):
trauma. I think everyone canrecognize even very recent
moments where we felt thescarcity or, you know, been
afraid of what's going to happennext or have felt a shift and
how it is that we think aboutour money. So I appreciate you
coming and sharing all of this.
Danetha Doe (57:15):
You're so welcome Emily and thank you for the
opportunity to share.
Emily Thompson (57:20):
Awesome I have two last questions for you. If
we may.
Danetha Doe (57:23):
Sure.
Emily Thompson (57:24):
First and foremost is what is making you
feel most boss these days.
Danetha Doe (57:29):
Hmmm. I am feeling most boss when I'm writing. I
get, I have so many downloads. Inever know what exactly is going
to come out of the pen and Ifeel so boss when I'm writing.
Emily Thompson (57:48):
I love that writing doesn't take anything
more than a pencil and a paperand some brain space to let
things come through. Hmm, I lovethat. Okay, and last but not
least, where can people find outmore about you?
Danetha Doe (58:05):
You can find me over at moneyandmimosas.com. All
my social media handles arethere every day I post the Money
mantra on Instagram. So ifthat's something you're into,
you can check that out. And thenyeah, all of our content on
Money and Mimosas is all aboutfinancial financial freedom.
Emily Thompson (58:24):
Wonderful. Thank you so much.
Danetha Doe (58:26):
Thank you.
Emily Thompson (58:31):
Thanks for listening. And hey, if you want
more resources, we're talkingworksheets, free trainings in
person meetups and vacations andmore. Go to our website at
www.beingboss.club.
Kathleen Shannon (58:44):
Do the work.
Be boss.
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