October 24, 2025 • 62 mins
A hundred episodes. One imperfect couple. A ton of growth.In our 100th episode, we celebrate by recapping the first 50 episodes of Better Than Perfect — what still holds up, what we’ve refined, and the lessons that changed our relationship. We kick off with a spicy debate on bars and clubs, respect vs control, and then speed-run through episodes 1 to 50: marriage, boundaries, conflict, polarity, resentment, smut vs porn, “girls night out,” and more.Chapters00:00 Welcome to our 100th episode01:05 Bars, clubs, respect, and the “if I wouldn’t want you to, I won’t either” rule08:12 Ep 1 Is marriage still worth it10:58 Ep 2 The 5 rules that changed our relationship location sharing no exes no friends of the opposite sex no girls guys night out phone and email transparency15:45 Ep 3 Why 50 50 doesn’t work for intimacy and polarity18:20 Ep 4 How to keep the honeymoon phase by clearing resentment21:02 Ep 5 He cheated the hard lessons and full ownership24:40 Ep 6 Fighting fair conflict that bonds instead of breaks27:10 Ep 7 Why women date “ugly” men confidence vs looks29:50 Ep 8 Why traditional beats transactional32:15 Ep 9 First date tips playful flirty purposeful34:05 Ep 10 How a man leads servant leadership not barking orders37:20 Ep 11 No girls night out or guys night out and why it is about respect41:05 Ep 12 Why jerks and losers sometimes win and what actually attracts women44:10 Ep 13 Men’s biggest struggles today pride purpose and adversity47:40 Ep 14 When you mess up pausing an episode to repair in real time49:35 Ep 15 Two become one team vs two roommates52:00 Ep 16 Happy wife over happy mom cutting the cord kindly54:20 Ep 17 Can one person be enough forever and the reassurance dance56:30 Ep 18 Sex intimacy and frequency without scorekeeping58:35 Ep 19 Travel stress test before commitment01:00:55 Ep 20 Social media iPhones and modern temptation01:03:40 Ep 21 Kids change everything do not use them to fix problems01:06:15 Ep 22 How to romance a woman yes it starts long before the bedroom01:08:30 Ep 23 Should a woman propose we say no and why01:10:10 Ep 24 How women can be romantic feminine seduction done right01:12:30 Ep 25 Who settles more and why it looks different for men and women01:15:25 Ep 26 Should you take someone back rare exceptions and clear standards01:18:40 Ep 27 Men do not want boss babes they want kind feminine partners01:21:05 Ep 28 Passport bros why running away dodges the real work01:24:00 Ep 30 I love you but I don’t like you dismantling contempt01:26:20 Ep 31 The Surrendered Wife key takeaways01:28:50 Ep 32 If she isn’t a little scared you could cheat do you have any juice01:31:15 Ep 33 The biggest problem making men weak loss of pride and purpose01:34:00 Ep 35 Why men and women hate each other and how to stop01:36:45 Ep 36 Confident dominance vs controlling behavior01:39:30 Ep 37 Why women initiate most divorces and what men can do01:42:20 Ep 38 Why buy the cow if you give the milk away investment matters01:44:50 Ep 39 What men get from marriage beyond romance01:47:20 Ep 40 Delicate and strong vulnerability makes you invulnerable01:49:30 Ep 41 Are the five love languages enough and what’s missing01:51:40 Ep 42 Our big fight and how we repaired01:54:10 Ep 43 Her role as support rocket fuel and why it matters01:56:40 Ep 44 Are men dangerous understanding fear and safety01:59:20 Ep 45 Polarity flips when she is masculine and he is feminine can it change02:01:40 Ep 46 Self-sabotage spotting insecurity before it sinks you02:03:55 Ep 47 Do traditional roles limit your life or create freedom02:06:30 Ep 48 Should we open our relationship we say no and why02:09:00 Ep 49 Is reading smut the same as porn and what it does to desire02:11:40 Ep 50 How women try to control men and how to let go02:14:20 Wrap next week we cover episodes 51 to 100
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
I believe women can go out to bars, sure, and not be
interested in other men, sure. I think that men have a harder
time doing that 'cause they're visual people.
I do genuinely believe that a woman can go and not do anything
wrong. However, my personal thing is,
if I don't want you to do it, I'm not gonna do it, and that's
out of respect. Right.
(00:21):
Exactly. Yeah, Yeah.
But to see the man's perspective.
Which I understand like a man knows if I'm going after your
wife. We discovered through our flaws
we complete each other better than perfect, twisted through
every fault we find. All right, welcome back to the
(00:45):
Better Than Perfect podcast, where every week we share with
you how 2 imperfect people helping each other grow equals 1
better than perfect relationship.
That didn't do anything. I know that's.
And if you didn't know, it is our 100th episode.
Oh wow. 100th or 100th? 100th are no a 100th.
(01:07):
No A. 100th, 100th. 100th. But A and one are similar,
usually 100th like I have a apple means 1 apple.
I have a apples. No, Apple.
Yeah. So it's.
The same as one 100th if you. Have and 100th.
(01:32):
You don't have to do N because it starts with the H.
If you have 100th episode right,but this is our 100th episode.
Wow. Well.
Now you know what all that was so glad What?
Should we do for 100th episode? You know what we're doing for
our 100th episode? We're going to go through our
(01:54):
episodes and we will give some. We're doing a recap.
Yeah, basically one of those. Up until now.
One of those recap episodes. You know those things that you
hate when you when your favoriterecap, when your favorite TV
series, right? And they like, and it's a new
episode that comes out, but it'snot actually a new episode.
It's like a bunch of scenes fromthe old episodes and you're
(02:16):
like, oh God, sometimes you needto write a script, man.
Let's not just rehash all the stuff from the old episodes.
OK, well then do you want to do something different?
Because you seem to have very strong feelings.
I mean, this will be fun and exciting because a lot of people
haven't watched all the episodes.
Which is why they need a recap. Right.
So they need a recap. OK.
So we'll start with the first. One recap.
(02:37):
Well, it's also like what we'll do if you have something
comment, we'll briefly talk about it.
If we have nothing to say, we won't say anything.
If our views have changed, maybethey've changed.
Right, we'll see. So.
We'll talk about, OK, so the first episode that we ever
published, episode 1, was Is it even worth it to get married
anymore? Yeah.
(02:58):
Have your views changed? I think it's still worth it to
get married. Yeah, and that one, I think we
we talked about the the idea that like marriage is still a
useful thing. It's a good thing.
Yeah. A lot of men are against the
idea of marriage. They don't think there's any
benefit for them in it, but. Yeah.
Yeah, but there is a. But that level of commitment is
(03:19):
beneficial. Right.
Yeah, well, I mean, there's possible ways.
And I literally just had coaching clients that were
asking me about this. And I was like, yeah, you, you
want to get married, even if it's just on paper, like not
legally and in the sense of the government being involved, I can
get that part of it. But you, you want to have the
ceremony. You want to exchange the vows.
(03:41):
You want to exchange the rings. You want to put skin in the
game? Yeah, because they're like,
well, you know, should I get a baby Mama?
I'm like, no, no, that's not a good.
Should I get a baby Mama? Because they want to have kids.
Asking you. That well, because men are like,
I want to have kids, right? But I'm afraid, but they're
afraid of getting married because they're because of the
horror stories of divorce and all this stuff.
(04:01):
A child is an even bigger commitment, I would say.
Exactly, yeah. You're committed to being
involved with that person for the rest of your life, even if
you're not romantically committed to them anymore.
Exactly. Yeah.
So wherever men got this? Should I get a baby Mama?
Yeah. Who the hell is teaching them
that? Because I'm a go leave comments
(04:21):
the name. What are you?
Doing the name of the game, The name of the game is don't get a
baby Mama, right? That's like wife that you have a
baby with in a family. Yeah.
So Lord have mercy. Well, no quick thing on that
because, again, I've been listening to the Matthew Matthew
McConaughey episode of Diary of Aceo, and it's really good.
(04:44):
I actually recommend people should watch it because he talks
about like, since he was eight, he knew he wanted to be a
father. That was like the highest thing
on his list of what he wanted tobe.
But like he talks about how people are pulling the parachute
too quickly and again, you should listen to it.
It's good because he talks aboutin relationships how people
(05:07):
don't stick it out and work through the things they pull
parachute too quickly when they could have fixed it.
And he obviously talks about like there are some instances
obviously like abuse and things like that where you should
leave, but there's a lot of situations where you could have
fixed it but you just bailed instead of dealing with it.
(05:27):
And so it's kind of like, you know, men are trying to come up
with ways to kind of skirt around getting married, but
you're still going to end up having, you're probably going to
end up having more problems, right, If you skirt around
getting married, then if you just found a woman you wanted to
commit to and get married to andhave kids with.
Right and deal with like I just saw a clip from I think it's
(05:50):
Bruce Almighty. You've seen that movie.
Yeah, where what's his name? Jim Carrey.
Yeah, but the but God is the is the Morgan Freeman.
Morgan Freeman is God, right? And he's talking to the girl at
the bar, right? I think is his wife or whatever.
And he says he's like, well, youknow, if if someone asks God for
what was it patience? Do you think he gives them
(06:15):
patience or do you think he gives them opportunities to be
patient? If God if someone asks God for
courage, you think he gives themcourage, or you think he gives
them opportunities where they can be courageous.
If someone asks God for for their family, for love in their
family, you think he gives them love in their family or you
think gives them opportunities to love each other.
(06:37):
That's. The thing, but that's the thing
about not pulling the chute. It's like you're giving, you're
getting opportunities to learn how to love, right?
Right. It's like if you just pull the
chute, the parachute cord, and you just are ready to exit
things because they're not goinggood, you're missing the point
of relationship. You're missing the point of
marriage, the point of relationship.
It's like we're together becausewe love each other, yes, and
(06:59):
because we have crazy sex, yes, but also, but also.
Because it's on your mind. But but, but because we, we,
it's, it's a growth opportunity.Like both of us have grown from
being together, right? From the things that we've gone
through, from the conflicts thatwe've had, right.
Like those are, I couldn't have gotten to where I am on my own.
(07:21):
You couldn't have gotten to where you are on your own.
Yeah. Together we get further and not
just like more successful in life, but further in our own
personal development, right? Because we have.
Some and stronger, right? Get stronger by facing things
together, including things between each other and outside
of us. Right.
And I could just be a Playboy and whatever, not get married
(07:42):
and but and I could. Plan to be You plan to do that.
But will I grow as much as I would being with one woman,
sticking it out even when thingsare hard?
You know what I'm saying? Like, you know, that's that's
The thing is like for because guys don't understand the value
of marriage, right? That's that's a huge value of
it. But I don't make it that hard
(08:02):
for you to stick it out. You make it pretty easy.
Pretty easy. Very easy.
I forget that the word pretty toyou doesn't it's like a call or
like because you're like, how was that?
Like that's pretty good and you're like.
That sounds like pretty good. It's not.
It's not excellent. It's not extraordinary.
It's. Kind of like.
Man, yeah, to me, to me like pretty good is it's.
(08:23):
Like, pretty good, I guess It's good for a loser.
That's what my brain hears when you say that.
Maybe it's because someone insulted you one day and they're
like you're you're pretty. Pretty ugly, that's what they
said, yeah. OK, so that was just the first
episode. We got 99 more.
So number 2 was love or control 6 rules that might change your
(08:47):
relationship forever. This was one of my favorite.
That one is a good one. I feel like it's a classic one.
Do you remember what the six rules were?
No girls guys night out locationon no friends of the opposite
sex. E-mail, phone.
Password. Yeah.
(09:10):
Six of them, yeah, I'm trying. To think, what else was the last
one there? The frenzy?
Opposite sex. Was it no corn?
It might have been no talking toexes or something.
That might have been Yeah, that was it.
Yeah. Cuz there cuz there's the other
(09:30):
one. Sex is the opposite.
There's one other one, unless the no corn was one of us.
No, no locations on. No girls.
No girls night out. Guys night out.
Yeah. No friends of the opposite sex.
No talking. They're talking.
Access e-mail, access passwords.All right, Yeah, I guess you're
right. There is.
You're always right. You heard it here, folks.
(09:52):
I always say that. I'll get it that out.
I only say that for the 100th ofis that that's.
Your. Breath.
Yeah, it's. My present.
Yeah, yeah. What's the last one?
Let's see if it says it in here.I thought it was corn.
OK, Kenny Times X's location sharing phone and e-mail guy
(10:13):
signed out bound. No, I don't know.
I don't. I don't actually even know our
own rules. Maybe it was 5.
Please just follow them those. Are the five most important
ones. Whatever the the 6th 1 is, it's
it's either it's either not thatimportant or it's crucially
important. So you either duh or it's not
(10:34):
that important. OK.
Right. Like no cheating.
That's it. I.
Don't think that's that, but that is a good one.
Yeah, I mean, OK, let me just gothrough the notes real quick
that said, OK, friends of the opposite sex, this is AI
generated no XS location sharingphone and e-mail transparency,
(10:57):
girls and guys on it out. It doesn't even have I think it
was, I think it was 5 and we just we just played you all and
told you it was 6. So that's a, it's a good
marketing technique. Fine, we'll.
Tell you, we'll tell you number six in in episode. 101 the full
episode to find the six yeah. See if you can find it it's a
(11:17):
secret one. OK, but that was good.
I think those are good and and people want us to change our
views on that, but no no, they're even we've seen why
they're like from friends relationships and other
relationships that we've seen why these are so crucial.
Yeah, we have to double down on on these Yeah it.
Hasn't changed. Another one we we start off with
(11:40):
some bangers. Our third episode was Why a 5050
Relationship Won't Work. That's also like classic.
Yeah. I mean, that's what this whole
podcast is based off of. Yeah.
So we definitely still believe 5050 relationships don't work,
not to have the oneness and intimacy and connection and
(12:00):
polarity that a traditional relationship has.
Exactly. Yeah, it's not going to be, it's
not going to be the same. You can't be like you.
Know it's you when you do 5050. It's two individuals.
When you do traditional, modern,traditional like we have, it's
two people becoming one. Yeah, it's like the Power
Rangers, right? Like they become a transformer.
(12:22):
Exactly. You got to have all the little
except it's only two but. You know.
But then you become a giant. You're pretty tall.
Social. Yeah.
We could transform into something.
The next one, Episode 4, was whythe honeymoon phase doesn't have
to end. We still, we're still in the
phase. So we still believe in that one.
(12:44):
Yeah. And if you listen to that one,
you can, too. Stay in the honeymoon phase for,
what, three years? Yeah.
Well, I mean, like, you know, we've almost been married.
Yeah, legally, but we've been together for 4 1/2 years, so.
Yeah, right. We met we.
Met five years, almost almost five years ago.
No, it's five years ago. Oh, no, you're right, You're
right. It's the end of September.
(13:05):
I was like, it's already Octoberspooky season.
But but the big lesson from thatone too, though, is that it's
like my favorite analogy of the the tooth decay of the way that
you stay in the honeymoon. What causes the honeymoon phase
to end is not the chemicals you know in you know the the
oxytocin in the it's. The resentment.
(13:25):
Resentment. Exactly.
So if you brush your relationship's teeth by clearing
out all that dirty laundry and like actually dealing with
issues, you don't build resentment, which is like
tartar, which decays your. We have a whole episode on that
exactly. Well too OK oh, the next one is
called he cheated. So that one, yeah, you'll have
(13:46):
to watch that one. Yeah, that was my my story,
which is is too complicated to get into on the 100th episode,
but but it's I'm fully transparent in what what
happened with my previous situation and all that stuff.
But I mean, you have to watch the episode to get the spicy
details. And obviously cheating is bad.
Yeah, yeah, for sure. OK, Episode 6, how to handle
(14:07):
conflict in a relationship. Any thoughts on that one?
I mean, it's important, yeah. Important to.
It's an important thing because that I feel like is when people
want to throw their parachute out, right?
And conflict can either break you apart or bring you closer
together. It's how you view it.
(14:28):
And again, if you have a modern traditional relationship and you
view day-to-day life as a unit, I do feel like it also helps.
We didn't talk about this in theepisode, but I feel like that
also helps when conflict arises that you do try to stay more as
like you 2 fighting the problem versus each other.
(14:50):
And I mean, like, we've had moments where it feels like
we're fighting each other. It's very easy to fall into
that. But I feel like when you like
regroup and you think about it and how close you guys are, you
got married, you love each other, then it helps resolve the
conflict, which helps you not have resentment, which helps you
stay in the honeymoon phase. Exactly then we have #7 why do
(15:13):
women date quote ugly men? I mean, I still believe that
women will date ugly guys and that they don't value looks the
way that men think women value looks.
But I feel like men think thoughthat women value looks more than
they really do. I'm not saying that women don't
(15:34):
like looks like a woman wants tobe attracted to a man but she
can build attraction like you said in the last episode based
on who he is and he can become more attractive.
Whereas men are more like is shehot right now?
Then let me get to know her. Exactly.
So. #8 Why traditional relationships are better.
(15:59):
Because they just, I feel like we yeah, cuz I feel like we
already kind of discussed that even in the when I just
explained the 5050 things. So.
Exactly. Yeah, but.
If you want further details, go watch that episode, no?
But I think that's good. I mean, that's the core of our
entire show podcast, is that traditional relationships are
better. The man is the man.
(16:21):
He's masculine. The woman is feminine.
The man is the leader, right, Right.
He's he's the authority. Everybody has their roles, which
sounds bad, but I think it only sounds bad to people who are
doing all the roles. Right.
Right. That they don't realize that
they already have roles more than they really want, right?
And when you have this dynamic, I can give you the masculine
(16:44):
roles that I was doing before and I could do the feminine ones
and focus on that. And you can focus on the
masculine ones. And it actually is better for
everybody. Right.
And you have to know what it is.It's like people dance around
it. They don't want to say the man's
dominant, the woman's submissive.
It's the same thing as like, if I'm like, if I'm at work and
they're like, oh, who's that guy?
(17:06):
That oh, he's, he's sort of likehe, I mean, he he kind of
manages our well, I don't want to say that like, I mean, we
kind of decide together what we're going to.
It's like, is that your boss? Yeah, that's my boss.
Like, you know, it's like how ifyou don't have the role to find,
then how do you understand? Right.
(17:27):
Like you can't go to work and and be like be ambiguous about
who is in charge, right? Like you have to have someone
who's in charge in anything, in a team, in a relationship,
whatever it is. Now where I think men screwed up
is they don't understand what servant leadership is.
Servant, right? And you said servant before
leadership. Right.
Servant comes first means putting the other people first,
(17:50):
right? It's like I say, the captain of
the ship, they kept a ship. He goes down with the ship,
right? Women and children first.
They are getting saved. You were going down with the
ship. You're taking responsibility.
You're putting their lives aboveyours.
If you're that kind of man, thena woman should not have a
problem submitting to your authority and letting you be the
(18:11):
leader. But the difference between, I
think the old traditional relationships versus the modern
one was the woman had to do it because she.
Couldn't get a job and have a bank account and right?
And now she chooses is to submitto a man more powerful.
Exactly. Yeah, it's more powerful.
I think there is a captain of the ship episode isn't?
There, I think there is. I think there is.
(18:33):
OK, Next one, Episode 9, How to have a successful first date?
Well, yeah. There's I think that one we
probably still agree with the same stuff.
Yeah, yeah. It's about being flirty and fun.
Exactly. Yeah, don't don't make it
boring. Don't make it a job interview.
(18:54):
You know, take take her mini golfing.
Yeah, so. Or I kick his butt a hike I'm.
Just kidding, all right, But also, I mean, a hike is good
too. Don't do it like doing something
physical that's funny, like interactive.
Like the point is like do something interactive for your
doing, you know, I mean different.
Some women would prefer to do a hike, you know, like that's a I
(19:18):
know you would not. That's not your idea of a of a
first. I don't mind a hike, just not in
100° degree San Diego weather. That happened #10 is how a man
should lead a relationship. So this is still.
Well, what do you think? A leader.
(19:39):
He should like we talked about the servant leadership.
I don't think we talked about somuch about servant leadership in
that episode, but a man has to be willing to take charge, but
to take responsibility for, right?
So the buck stops there, right? So if you want authority, you
have to take responsibility, meaning that if someone in your
household is not doing what they're supposed to be doing,
(20:00):
it's not their fault. Like you have to coach them, but
it's ultimately you, you messed up, right?
It's like you, you got to take responsibility.
Like the buck stops here, right?So I think that's really the,
the key. And then like I said, putting
everyone else first before yourself, leading not with an
authoritative or authoritative like do this, but.
(20:24):
Leading in the sense. Guidance.
Right. Yeah, or or doing the thing
first, like taking the taking charge.
Influence. Exactly.
Yeah, Not, not demand. The captain of the ship doesn't
go, oh, yeah, you guys messed upwhen the ship sinks and like,
all right, I'm getting out of here.
It's your guys. These guys suck.
This crew sucks. Like you hired the crew, so.
(20:45):
And you're, you're managing the crew.
Your choice was to You should have fired the crew if that was
like before, right? Before now.
Yeah, exactly. Yeah, so let's see, oh, episode
11. This one's a good one.
Stop doing girls night out and guys night out.
Now people hate this. They're like, it's not I I trust
(21:06):
my partner and and all of this stuff, but it's like there's no
good. I mean my favorite thing.
Not even about trust, it's aboutdisrespect.
Yeah, if you're vegan, why are you hanging around the sausage
factory? Like you're just looking at the
sausage factory. OK, but you're in the sausage
factory. Like if you're going out to a
bar, that is a place to hook up with people, like it's alcohol,
(21:28):
it's people trying to get laid. So if you're just like, I'm just
out there innocent having fun, Are you going to nightclub?
I'm just dancing. No, no, no, not not like go and
do something. Else.
Yeah, you can have a girls nightor a guys night like girls.
Night, go to dinner. Go to dinner, right?
Like. Crafts, whatever.
Yeah. Or guy.
(21:48):
Guy can go. Go workout class.
Yeah, you could go to go golf, go for golf or hike.
Yeah. Go to the gym, like, or even go
to dinner, like, But not nightclub, not bar, not single
people stuff. Right.
Exactly. So, yeah.
And a lot of women really have the biggest problem with this, I
think. And I think the biggest analogy
that I've found that that's helpful for women to understand
(22:10):
is that they're like, oh, well, I'm just going to the nightclub
to dance. I'm just dancing with my
friends. Like this is controlling.
If you tell me I can't do this and it's like, OK, but if you
had your guy and he went to a place where every woman in there
was trying to sleep with him andthen giving him free drinks,
(22:31):
would you would you let him be that it would change your mind?
Here is that I believe women cango out to bars and not be
interested in other men. I like that men have a harder
time doing that. Even if they're taken, they're
still looking at women 'cause they're visual people.
(22:52):
So I think women don't understand because they can go.
And I do genuinely believe that a woman can go and not do
anything wrong. However, my personal thing is if
I can't do it or like if I don'twant you to do it, I'm not gonna
do it for sure. Even if I could do it without
causing trouble, right, I'm not going to do it because you can't
(23:15):
do it, right? And that's like out of respect.
Right. Exactly.
Yeah, yeah. So that's my opinion.
But but, but to see the man's perspective.
Which I understand that like. A man knows if.
I'm going after your wife. Right.
Like I know like even if I'm like I trust her and I know that
she can resist this, right? It's still a bunch of guys
(23:36):
trying to buy her, giving her free drinks and trying to sleep.
Trying to steal your woman? Yeah, exactly.
And so it's like, but if the tables were turned, there is no
circumstance where a woman will be OK with knowing, OK, this
this guy's going to a place where a bunch of women are going
to try and, and give him free drinks and try to try to invite
him to sleep with him. Yeah, like, it's just not gonna
happen. So that's that just puts it into
(23:58):
perspective as to why it's not acceptable.
Makes sense? Yeah, for either, but you know,
like I said, women more so give a problem with this.
But I think that's why, that's why I wanted to say it like,
because they know that they're capable of not doing that, but
that still doesn't make it OK. You know what I mean?
Like you can't tell your husbandnot to go out and then you can
go out. Right, yeah, or, or even like
(24:20):
guys are like, oh, what's the big deal if I go to the bar with
my friends and have a couple of drinks?
Well, first of all, don't drink.But but, but, but second of all,
you don't have to go to the bar,right?
Like you like, you can go somewhere.
Else yeah, go have dinner with your guy friends.
Yeah, you don't have to go to the bar.
So #12 was Why do women like assholes and losers?
(24:46):
Why do they like assholes and losers?
Yeah, that's what we we titled it like, like, why do women like
guys that are like jerks and guys that live in a in a trailer
park, you know, like they don't have any money.
They're just like losers. I mean, I can't remember exactly
what we said, but it's because Iguess they have nothing to lose
(25:09):
and they are authentically themselves and they speak their
mind. Well, I I think like the
revision would be that that the night the quadrant that I
created of the four types of guys.
Yeah. But it's like you have on one
side cares about people versus don't cares about people, cares
what people think versus don't cares about people think.
(25:29):
And women are attracted to guys that don't care what other
people think. And so if you're the kind of guy
that doesn't care about what other people think, but you're
but you care about people, then you're a gentleman.
The winner? You're the Unicorn.
Yeah, yeah. But it but most guys that don't
care about other what other people think also don't care
about people and they're an assholes.
So they fit into that that category.
(25:50):
And and so asshole, if you're anasshole, you could be a loser.
It's not just like a guy that has money.
That's true. You know, it's just it's the
quality that he has that he doesn't care what other people
think. I think too.
And then she wants to rescue him, you know, save him, turn
him around. Right.
I was gonna say, I think women want to turn the asshole into
the guy that's like mean to the world, but sweet to her.
(26:14):
Yeah, Captain statement. Same with like they'll support
the loser guy in hopes that he'll get ambition one day and
make this huge thing and he'll remember that she supported him
when he had nothing. I think that's what happens a
lot of the time with those sort of guys on top of that, like
usually they have nothing to lose.
So again, they like speak their mind and people respect that
(26:36):
about people, right? So I think there's that.
But I do think that a lot of thetimes it's women hoping that the
guy's going to change into the opposite of what he is, and they
wait around for that and then itdoesn't.
Because and I think like some revisions too, because I think
at that time in that episode, I talked more about maybe the
loser guy is good looking, whichwhich can be the case.
(26:57):
But I think more of the attractive element is that he
doesn't care what other people think.
He just says what what he means and what what he wants.
But but I think also on that spectrum of the the female side
now I lost my it was a good one.Oh, Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, I know
what it was. OK, so a woman is much more
(27:18):
likely to convert an asshole, right?
A guy that's already doesn't care what other people think to
being kind to her or like she she has more hope of that than
converting a nice guy to being astud.
Like that's a that's much less likely.
The guy that's a nice guy that is a pushover.
She doesn't have like there's not much of a chance that she's
(27:38):
going to make him tough. But if he's already tough, then
maybe she she can make him sweet.
You know what I'm saying? Like she can tame him, but you
know, I'm saying like so. Giving like romance books.
But one one has more hope. But women desperately hope for
the right. But you can't be with somebody
no based on who you hope they change into.
But that's why women are attracted to assholes.
(27:59):
And well, no, that's what I'm saying.
But they're not attracted to whythey're with them is because
they're hoping that something's gonna change.
But you can't be with anybody. Nobody can be with anyone that
they want to change, that they're attracted to what they
could be. Exactly, Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But you just have less chance with the nice guy.
So that of that happening, right.
It's like I tell guys all the times like if you have the
(28:19):
choice between leaning on nice guy side or asshole side,
leaning on the asshole side, because you can always ask for
forgiveness. But once you're labeled as nice
guy, you're you're done. Like you're you're never never
get a shot your friend zone permanently.
There's the episode on Nice Guysthat I'm sure is coming up.
Let's see men's biggest struggles in dating and
relationships episode 13 and we we talked about a lot of the.
(28:43):
You're a man. What do you think the men's
issues talked about here? I mean, the probably a little
bit of the whole flation type ofthing where, you know, women are
getting so much like validation on social media that their
estimation of their values is, is way higher than what it
(29:06):
should be. Our same thing with dating apps
giving that validation and then and then guys that are above
their level sleeping with them and they only want to sleep with
them. They want to commit with them so
they think they can get that guy.
So that makes it harder for the the average guy.
I'm sure there's some Nice Guys stuff in there too, like we
talked about the last episode, like going on a date and being
(29:26):
like, I want away for giving women all these things right off
the bat and she hasn't earned itso.
And guys feel like only women are interested in assholes or
whatever, like you know, so and then also just the masculine
anything, right? Because in society, I mean, it's
coming back now. I do feel like since we
published this episode, that masculine is finally being
(29:48):
valued again. Yeah, in society.
But there was a very long periodof time where it was like guys
had no identity. And it still is a big problem.
Right? But but I feel like there's more
of a call to that to to traditional masculinity.
And traditional value, well, I'mdoing it in the right way too,
because again, I think even withlike the traditional marriages,
(30:11):
it was like masculinity back then was like forceful and brute
and, you know, not good. It wasn't servant leadership.
It was like not a thing that people really want to go back
to. So then the pendulum swung a
little too hard the other way. And now it's like we got to get
to the sweet. Spot because for a long time I
(30:33):
think the big complaint too was that women are told you can do
anything you want. You can you don't need a man
like you you're you're powerful as a woman, be a boss babe, all
these things and then it like you're you're more valuable than
a man you're just as valuable asa man.
But then men are told are like, OK, well, what like.
(30:53):
What about me? Women get to do all the things
women can do. They can be beautiful, they can
be all these things and they canbe all the things that men can
be. So then what is special about me
as a, as a man? Like, that's probably the chief
complaint of of men. Yeah.
It's like society has done that.That's.
True. OK episode 14 when you mess up.
(31:15):
We had to stop an episode short.This was when we tried to do the
struggles of women and I was a Dick head and messed up the
episode. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We stopped it in the middle, right?
Yeah, yeah. So.
I can't remember what you said. I don't know.
I said something like I I wasn'tevaluating your like what you
(31:37):
were trying to say and just likeI was being combated.
Yeah. Oh, yeah, You were like, really
going hard. You were like, men are gonna say
this like, Oh yeah, you were trying to like.
To create. Like extreme like they would be,
but it like did kind of invalidate the like it took away
from the episode. Yeah, I guess we should do that
(31:59):
episode. The struggles of women in in
dating. I think we did it a little bit
close. We kind of did some stuff cuz we
talked about older women and younger women and maybe that
was, I don't know, we could see OK, the next one, episode 15
Marriage is about I'm trying to beat the clock.
(32:20):
Yeah, we need to not go so far into tandem.
Just the ones that we that are, you know that we need to say
some, but marriage is about two becoming one.
That's episode 15. Which we talked about.
Yeah, I don't think we need. To in some of the early like in
the discussion we're having here, we talked about that and a
few of the other ones. This was a good one.
Episode 16 Pick one happy mom orhappy wife about really about
(32:44):
your wife comes first, not your mom.
OK, Don't be a mom as boy and not anyone else.
Not your family, not like your wife comes first.
Even if she's wrong, she still comes first.
Like you back your wife even if she's wrong.
Then you have a talk with her privately and be like hey, like
that wasn't cool what you did oryou disrespected my family.
That wasn't cool. But you back her so that
(33:06):
everyone knows where you stand. It's like even if she's wrong,
I'm going to back her because she's my wife.
So you, you better you know where it lies.
So. But same thing with with men
too. Like, obviously you're you back
your husband, right? Yeah, especially publicly.
All right. Can you really be satisfied with
(33:27):
Just One Person Forever, Episode17?
This one still, I'm just like asking you occasionally, like,
Are you sure you want to be withme for the rest of your life?
Who wouldn't want to be with this?
Look at her. But I don't know, I guess it's
like I believe it. I do, but I just feel like as a
(33:49):
woman, it is kind of hard, especially like all the episodes
talk about men just want to get laid and you're on the spree
before we met. It's like you really wanted to
give all that up. And Are you sure you want to
give all that up for your whole life?
It's like I believe that you do.But there is a part of me that's
like, how do you go from one side to the other sort of thing?
(34:13):
But. And I think that, and then we
talked about in one of the episodes too, is that is
something that women are supposed to be insecure about to
a degree, right? Like you're supposed to give
reassurance as a man, but I don't think you ever completely
solved that because. And and it's almost a good thing
is that a woman still needs to feel like that, that she like to
(34:35):
to not take the man for granted.She kind of needs to be like, to
realize that like, OK, this is what he's valuable.
Yeah. That that he is making this
choice that he could have made another choice, right?
And I think that is important that you know so.
I don't like it though. And then we did episode 18 sex.
(34:55):
Yes. We talked about about sex.
Still the same. Yeah, still the same.
Still important. This could destroy your
relationship. 8 episode 19. We tried to get clever.
I don't remember what. Let.
Let's see. I've got the recap here.
Is it? Oh, travel.
It was travelling with people. Yeah.
(35:16):
So because we were in Hawaii at the time.
Oh, that's very true. Yeah, I still think that's true.
I still think you should go on like a trip, yeah, where you're
dating together, yeah, for a decent amount of time.
Because things happen when you're travelling, random stuff
goes wrong and you see how they handle it.
Time, yeah, especially if you both are working jobs and stuff
(35:38):
and you're not actually spending, you know, 48 hours
together, even a 48 hour trip, you'll find out.
Yeah, even a weekend trip. You're right.
Yeah. OK, will social media be the
downfall of relationships episode 20 Still I.
Think it's it hasn't been good for relationships, but I think
(36:00):
AI might be the downfall of relationships like in the
episode that we'll get to eventually, you know, on AII
said that I think it could eradicate relationships in a way
because men can just go get a female robot and women can go
get a male robot and like. Yeah.
(36:20):
You know, I don't know, I want to think that humans care about
other humans, but I also know that there are people that will
definitely jump on the robot. Yeah, trend.
And maybe it's good to like, letthose people not reproduce.
Yeah, I mean, that's true. But yeah, I think social media
is not great. Like just because there's still
(36:42):
temptations, like, you know, you're a public figure.
You had some girl get in your DMS, you know what I mean?
She was beautiful and had like aton of followers in.
Your opinion? To me, she looked like a trash
heap. Yeah, if you're watching your
trash heap, literal trash. Like I looked at you, I was like
trash. But yeah, so I mean, I don't
(37:04):
think it's great because it still gives people connection to
other people that back like whenour parents got married and
stuff they didn't have. Oh, Facebook caused so many
divorces. Yeah, because you can like stay
in touch. Because it's like your high all
of a sudden your high school girlfriend, whatever high
school, like, it's like you're having some trouble in your
marriage. Like, Oh my God.
(37:24):
Like the boomer divorce that Facebook caught, like, oh, so
many. Yeah.
And then public stuff that was happening.
But I didn't even tell you the IT was a thing with my ex's
family. They had like a whole thing on
Facebook where her uncle or something was like his.
(37:48):
They, the aunt found, rekindled the flame with her high school
boyfriend. Off of Facebook.
Off of Facebook and then he was posting about how he was finger.
Yeah, yeah. On.
And I'm reading the Facebook feed.
(38:10):
Yeah. On Facebook.
Yeah, yeah, this was happening on Facebook.
That's messy. Yeah.
And then unfortunately, actuallythe guy drank himself to death
over it and died. Gosh, yeah, that's horrible.
And this all happened like the drama happened on Facebook.
That's. Yeah, they were both publicly.
(38:30):
So Facebook is, yeah. Or social media.
Yeah. I mean, it's not great.
I mean, we're trying to use social media in a sense for sure
to like be human and talk about all this stuff.
But a lot of people do portray different things than is
actually happening. I mean, that's why we started
the podcast and had the in segment where we talk about
where we deal with our own stuff.
(38:51):
Because we don't want to come onhere and act like we don't
fight. We fight.
No, no. Very minimally, right?
Yeah. And we're very respectful when
we have disagreements, but we have to be real.
Like we don't want to. Be having sex to have fights
but. You have to handle things
healthily, John. Yeah.
You can't just. OK, yeah.
(39:11):
Just can't just. Yeah.
Dang. It out OK.
But but but well, I mean, but even with what you're saying,
OK, which which what's going to get more views?
Our episode talking about stuff on social media that's important
or fresh and fit with a bunch ofhoes, right?
Like, you know what I mean or whatever.
(39:31):
Podcasts are like crazy. Yeah, bad things.
Like I saw some other show or something that was talking about
YouTube like kids and how the dad that was like helping manage
this YouTube kid. YouTube was saying that people
don't want to watch a kid learn how to ride a bike.
They want to watch the kid fall off a bike.
(39:53):
Do you know how messed up that is?
Do you know how messed up our society is that like the things
that are popular on YouTube and stuff are not like good things.
Like let me learn how to, you know, build a table.
Yes, people still look up that stuff, but more views happen to
shitty things happening in the video or like hate or like, you
(40:15):
know, videos like that. So social media.
Yeah. I still will double down on
this. I think I said in the episode,
the worst invention ever createdfor humanity is the iPhone.
Yeah. Because without this, we used to
have to talk to each other. You wouldn't have social media
because social media is built off of this.
Like, yeah, you might have like,Facebook on your computer, but
(40:38):
you're not. That's different.
You have to sit down for a certain amount of time.
This has ruined more lives, ruined more human communication
and and relationships and cause more division and hatred in the
world because you had to. Like again, you could still have
some of these things, but you'd have to sit at your computer.
People are on their phones scrolling on X and and getting
pissed off and right and saying that.
(40:58):
For flip phones again, yeah. And TikTok and all that stuff.
So how having kids changes your relationship Episode 21.
I'm sure everything we said in there is still the same.
A lot of people think that kids will fix their relationship.
No, no, no, no. It changes it.
It's a different dynamic. It's a good dynamic.
You have to be solid in who you are as a couple though, before
(41:22):
you have kids for sure. If you're not solid and you're
like, oh, kid, we'll fix this. Do not have kids.
No, not until your relationship is solid.
How to romance a Woman episode 22.
You just talk about sex all the time, like John's been on this
episode. No, he has.
He knows how to romance women, so you should definitely.
(41:42):
Watch that episode. Yeah, there's too much to talk
about there. Should a woman ever propose to a
man? Episode 23.
Yeah, we said no, and I think westill think no.
Yeah, I think even more so. No, at this point it's.
Like, you were already pretty hard, now I was also hard now.
Yeah, but more hard of a nil, yeah.
(42:05):
A. A.
A. A How can women be romantic?
It's not what you think. Episode 24.
It involves SEX. Yeah.
And seduction. Exactly, Yeah.
It's yeah, still think the same.Yeah, who settles more, men or
(42:26):
women? Episode 25.
Did we ever even answer that? I don't think we even answered.
Who settles more in the episode?If I can't remember, maybe we
did. I don't know if we, I mean, we
had arguments for both sides, but both men and women do
settle. I think maybe women do just
because biologically, but I alsothink men do a lot because
(42:50):
that's why they're like, becauseI think they don't vet the same.
And I think they're like, this woman likes me.
And I've also seen people talk about how, like, men will only
settle down when they're ready to settle down.
Whereas, like a woman, you know,she either finds somebody that
she's like, OK, I want to be with this person.
She'll settle down whatever timeline, if the guy is right,
(43:12):
right? But she'll also settle down if
she gets old enough where she's like, shoot, I want to have a
family and I'm getting older andI need to have kids.
I think she'll settle then. I mean I had a coaching client
in mind that his last girlfriendwas 15 years older than him and
he wasn't attracted to her. He didn't even find her
attractive and he was in like a multi year relationship.
(43:33):
What was he doing? It's like he couldn't find a
different girl. OK, that was a girl that liked.
It but he. Yeah, I know.
Because like that's what. So that was a.
That's a. Settle.
It's kind of like maybe we didn't answer it because it's
kind of like split down the middle.
It's it's. Just in different.
Ways either way, yeah. Yeah, they settle for different
reasons. All right, should you ever take
(43:54):
someone back Episode 26? We said mostly no, right?
But even though I took you back multiple times, it's OK You lost
your marbles a little bit. Yeah, you got your marbles back.
Yeah, Yeah, I think that. When there was a different
(44:16):
circumstance, you didn't like break up with me because you
didn't like me or our relationship.
It was other complicated things and so in that instance, people
can use their own discretion whether they want to get back
together if it's not about the actual relationship.
But most people break up becauseof the actual relationship
dynamic. In that case you should not get.
Yeah, because it's still going to be toxic if it's toxic.
I mean, you, you got the MatthewMikahanahay from the his parents
(44:39):
got married, married three times.
Divorced twice, yeah. So.
You know, and then, and then hisdad went out with the bang.
Literally. All right, so men do not want
Boss Babes episode 27. I mean, I think that's true.
I think like women still obviously, like I think women
(45:03):
somewhere along the way got the message of, oh, you know, I'll
be impressive if I do this not just to men, but to themselves,
to everybody. And I'm not saying that women
shouldn't have goals and shouldn't have things to work
for. They can't run a business.
But it's like, if you're doing that because you think a guy's
going to be impressed, right? He's not.
(45:23):
He's not like, not that he's not, but that's not going to be
a deciding factor. Yeah, he'd rather he'd rather
pick up the cashier girl at 711 and wipe her up because she's
sweet and and humble and and. You can be those things and run
a business, yeah. Exactly.
You can, but those are the qualities that the man's looking
for. It's not matter how much money
(45:45):
you make or whatever like some guys would would say.
If he does care about that runaway, yeah, seem like looking
for a sugar Mama. OK, then we did episode 28.
Western women are too woke for Passport Bros.
That was the whole by what we say on.
The passport passport Bros thing.
It's just like an easy way out. And it's not even like easy, you
(46:07):
know what I mean? Like it's, it's like you not
becoming a man and doing the things you need to do and going
to find other women that want strong men.
And then they think that you're a man cuz you came over there
and you're like trying to court them.
But then a lot of times again, the guys will be like, we don't
take them back to America. But if she came to America and
(46:29):
saw, yeah, you aren't American. She would run your ass over.
She'd be like, you're not a man either.
Yeah, like, she would know that the jig is up.
That's why they stay over there too.
So they're like, could pretend to be like a man.
Exactly. It's just like when men would
complain if women were doing thesame thing.
If women were like going to other countries and looking for
manly men, they'd be pissed. Yeah, or they some women do
(46:49):
that. Like they they go to some
countries where there are more manly men and they're like
they're reporting back, but that's not the general
population. No, it's not, because again,
it's like, I get it, But usuallythose women too aren't really
being feminine here to try to like, find a man here.
(47:09):
It's not solving their problems.There are.
Extremely masculine men to like.Well, I mean, and this is a new
point of that is like you're looking for something outside
yourself to solve your problem, which the problem is you, right?
And it's like, yeah, you can getthe easy road and then hopefully
that works out for you. But you haven't solved the core
problem, which is that you're not the man.
You're not masculine enough. But unfortunately in the
(47:31):
passport Bros don't self reflectlike that either.
I love you, but I don't like you.
Episode 30. I can't even remember what we
talked about there as like. I mean I.
Thought about that. Friend together and but they
don't really like their partner.And they say that like I love
you, but I don't like you. Right.
Like they're just kind of stuck together because.
(47:51):
Of the commitment. My mom used to say to me all the
time I was like, I love you, butI don't like you right now.
Well, I mean, and I, I think that that's necessarily not bad
to say because like if in an instance, but if you say that
you don't like that person as a person, like I love you, but I
don't like you, I think saying Ilove you, but I don't.
(48:11):
I'm not happy. With how you're acting right now
or something like that, that is fine to say if you're having a
serious conversation. But this is more so the people
who are like I love you but I don't like you and they
genuinely don't like their spouse and they have resentment.
You can tell built up and like you can tell the difference.
We're gonna have to speed run some of these here.
(48:32):
I can't believe. All right, we're on episode 31,
The Surrendered Wife. This was the book.
That's a book by Laura Doyle. Check it out.
Yeah, if she isn't afraid you'llcheat, she doesn't love you.
Episode 32 doesn't. Actually talked about that too,
where you just talked about there has to be that little bit
of because that that proves thatyou're valuable in your wife's
eyes. Like, it's not great, you know,
(48:54):
being on the side of like, beingscared that your husband is
gonna run away or you gotta always continue some moment.
It's gonna be like, come and snatch him away.
But. Yeah, if you're just sitting on
the couch being fat eating Doritos and you're like, you
know, like your woman should think that like other woman
would want you. Yeah.
Otherwise you're you're not doing what you should be and and
(49:15):
it kind of goes. You're not being the man.
The other way too, is like you're you're like a woman
should be treating a man like a king, whereas like other men
would definitely would want thiskind of woman.
So the biggest problem with men today that makes them weak?
Episode 33. What is the biggest problem?
(49:36):
I think I said that it was that there.
I think there's one where I saidpride, that they don't have
pride. Oh, probably.
That is, I think, pride in beinga man.
Yeah, I would say that's the biggest one if that isn't.
Yeah, lack of pride, that's whatI said in there.
And inability to handle adversity.
So they just run for they want 5050 relationships.
Everyone, it has an ability to handle adversity in this country
(49:59):
right now, yeah. That's what a lot of my bulldog
stuff is about now is like, like, lately it's been about how
it, like, good to to have problems.
Yeah. All right.
Why do men and women hate each other?
Episode 35. That's a complicated one.
People should definitely watch that episode but I feel like
it's. Getting a little.
(50:19):
Better everybody. Yeah, I think, well, I think.
I mean, the, the the bear thing was not a good step in the right
direction, but I think in general it's getting better.
I think more people are going back to more traditional values
now. Right.
I think that that helps people appreciate each other more.
I think that the hate just in general with everything has
gotten out of control. And then men hate women and
women hate men. And it's, you know, it just
(50:41):
causes this cycle of dysfunction.
Yeah, is he secretly controllingor confidently dominant?
No more girls trips allowed episode 36.
This was about the whole. Telling the difference between
controlling and dominance. And and when women say, oh,
that's controlling or you're insecure, is that don't be
(51:03):
insecure about women calling youinsecure as a guy because that's
a all right. Why women initiate 90% of
divorces episode 37. Because men are afraid to break
up with women. They're afraid to have the balls
to to end it. And this was the first one,
episode 38, where we first really took a stance on this,
(51:24):
which is why buy the cow when I can get the milk for free?
It's like, it's like. Because you can't give the milk
away for free. Like that you should.
Which is kind of like how women have the power in dating.
And like in episode 99 where we talked about, you know, men are
going to look for sex, but you can't give him the sex.
Like he's going to try to get the milk for free, but you can't
(51:46):
give him the milk. You have to.
Judge his level of investment. Right, well, you have to make
him in. Exactly right, yeah.
You like he has to. You have to withhold it so he
invests. Yeah, Yeah.
I could see scenarios where it sex happens quickly.
If then like two people fall in love and like the investment is
very high from the very beginning, I could see that.
(52:06):
Scenario gauge that out. Yeah, but you have to gauge that
out. That's not just happening most
of the time. And you still have to be
strategic in the beginning to even get that level of
investment. Yeah, so.
What what men get out of marriage episode 39?
It's kind of like the the same as the the marriage that we
rehash the marriage thing again like.
(52:28):
Right, because it's really men who are afraid of marriage.
Women are women are afraid of traditional marriage and being
left with nothing. Right In a divorce, men are just
afraid of marriage and also being left with nothing but and
a whole bunch of stuff as well. Women are delicate vulnerably
makes you invulnerable. Episode 40, That was a good one.
(52:50):
That is a good one. That is definitely one that
people should watch just in general because they think a lot
of times vulnerability is weakness.
Yeah, are the five love languages legit?
Episode 41. That's where we talked about how
they're more, yeah, talking about how they were masculine
(53:12):
and feminine. Yeah, that's the attachment.
Yeah, that's the attachment. But we were kind of like, yeah.
And I still don't think. I mean, I think.
It's a good way to like understand how your partner
feels more loved like yours is physical touch.
And you do like when I like hug on you, you tell me how it makes
you feel better. And I like, I like quality time
(53:32):
and yeah, acts of service, but I.
Think we were saying like the thing that you crave is probably
the thing that you're you're lacking.
It's not necessarily like that is your love language.
It's like, what are you lacking the most of the time?
It's like, I think that's a better way.
Of like what you're needing. Yeah, we got in a big fight
Episode 42. I don't even know what the big
(53:53):
fight was. I don't know it was.
We don't have time to get into it.
Sure, we resolved it. You can go listen to that one if
you want. To a woman's role is to support
Herman episode 43. It's true.
You are the rocket and I am the rocket fuel.
That's it. Are men dangerous?
(54:14):
The Real Reason Women Fear Men, Episode 44.
Yeah, because they don't want toget murdered.
Yeah, and I think that's I think, I think there's
definitely some some truth to that, especially seeing nice
guys what when you find out whattheir real who they really are
when you reject them, right, right.
Well, a lot of men have undercover anger issues, yeah.
(54:36):
And like, the nice guys are kindof the scariest because they
come across nice. And sometimes they have the
worst anger problems because they're nice, because they
expect something back. And when they don't get that,
then the angry part comes. Out.
And they're real. Yeah.
So it's good to see you know howa man's character is by making
him mad. OK, episode 45 when she's
(55:03):
masculine and he's feminine, canit be turned around?
That was a good one too. Well, he said, it can, but it's
difficult. Yeah, very difficult, but that's
how a lot of relationships are, where the woman wears the pants
in their relationship and the man is just this.
Little submissive. Yeah, yeah.
If you have that dynamic, watch that episode because that is a
good one. Are you self sabotaging your
relationship without even knowing it?
(55:23):
Episode 46 I don't remember our our fears like if you're having
to if you're too afraid to commit No like fears of of
things going wrong in a relationship of letting fear
dictate your relationship. Your insecurities can sabotage a
(55:44):
relationship that I think that'sa very true.
Thing yeah, when they're extremeyeah yeah I have a hard time
with the self sabotage stuff sometimes gotten better about.
It no, I don't. Yeah, I think that it's not an
issue for you anymore. I would say you're you get the
stamp of. Of heels of heels.
(56:05):
You're healed, woman, all right.Woman, you're a healed.
Woman, you traditional relationships limit your life.
That was a good one. Episode 47.
People think that, and again, I'm going back to the Matthew
McConaughey thing because he talks actually a lot about the
same ish kind of stuff. Yeah, where he talks about, and
(56:25):
you've talked about it too, for sure before, that when you have
discipline, you get more freedom.
Exactly. Yeah.
And so people listening to this,they might be like rules.
What? Like even when we did the rules
one, I was like, this doesn't feel like rules.
I don't want to do any of these things.
They're they're rules that are in place.
(56:46):
But I never get close enough where it feels like a rule.
I'm never like, oh, I can't cross this line.
You know what I mean? Like, I don't even come close.
So I get where people who don't understand, they think that it
seems more confined, but it actually feels more freeing
because you have guidelines and they make sense.
So they don't feel like rules orguidelines, but they help you
(57:09):
live a structured life that is more beneficial.
And as a man, you have to createthese for the relationship to
have boundaries. To have the leader.
Yeah. So you should be thinking about
these things and because even like you said, like a woman
maybe could go to a club, whatever, and not even thinking
about cheating or it's not even a temptation for her, right?
(57:29):
But so she might not think that there's anything wrong with
that. But as a man, you have to be
like, OK, this is not it's not good.
So This is why you know what I mean?
Like she might not think of thatinnocently.
She might not think of that. But as a man, you should be
protecting the relationship. You should think about what the
things need to be, you know. Should we open our relationship
(57:49):
Episode 48 we were not actually considering opening our.
Two to this. Maybe we should do a Part 2 as
the next episode. We did one.
We did. One, no, I meant for the recap
because we're almost. I thought you were saying for
the open the relation. I'm like, no, what are you
talking about? Like no, there's no Part 2 but.
(58:10):
Then I was it's like it's getting kind of like to an hour,
which is long. So maybe we need to do another
sorry, repeat that one more time.
But yeah, we. Should we open our relationship
episode 48? We're up to Part 2 of this one.
I changed my mind. Maybe we should like forget
about better than perfect podcasts.
This is now The More the Merrierpodcast.
(58:34):
I did not change my mind. Still not a good idea.
Not if you want to have an intimate close relationship as a
unit as one. So we're at yeah.
So I guess we're. At Yeah, we should end at 50 and
then do the other. And then do the other 50 the
next episode. Yeah, OK, because we were going
to do the episode on the smut novels, but.
(58:56):
We'll save that. We'll save.
We'll save. That so it's 102.
Yeah, OK, so is. Oh.
Speaking of which, is reading smut the same as watching porn?
Episode 49? Yeah, we're going to revisit
this one. Yeah, because it's gotten worse.
We didn't change our minds. No, no.
(59:16):
But we have a lot more to add. Yeah, because it's it's getting,
it's getting bad to the point of.
But yeah, I think it's it's something that's worth
revisiting. But that's actually a very
popular episode. Yeah, a lot of and then a lot of
guys is, which is why we're doing another episode.
It's like my wife is doing this.I.
Feel just about it, but I don't know, they're afraid.
Yeah, it's, it's a bad situation, right?
(59:36):
But maybe we can shed some lighton it.
So and then #50 how women try tocontrol men in relationships.
This one I think we did talk about that language.
Yeah. Well, and I think we probably
talked about the Laura Doyle book as well, because women like
(59:57):
to be in control and lead. And I don't know if we talked
about it in there that it's goodfor women to be on their own and
do all the things so that they know how to do it.
But a lot of times they get stuck in that.
And so even if they're with a man that leads and they trust,
they still try to control the thing.
I still sometimes try to controlthe thing, like driving.
(01:00:19):
You hate that. I know, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
I'm like, we can be efficient. I'm just trying to help you.
But it does come across. If you wouldn't tell the Uber
driver it, don't tell me it. If you think that would be rude
to say to the Uber driver, like tell him how to drive, look.
I don't say all that's I would tell the Uber driver all but
you. Don't I do you do not.
(01:00:40):
When we're in the Uber, you're not like.
He goes away. But no, yeah, it is hard for
women to kind of like let that go, especially too with all the
like, oh, you don't need a man and all this stuff.
So women try to learn how to do all this stuff, which again, I
think is good because I think that when you find a good man
and you give him those responsibilities, even though
(01:01:01):
it's hard and you still want to control, then like you can fully
give that up. And you know that you really
trust that man because you know how you would do it.
And if you would do it better, then that's impressive.
Yeah, yeah. But sometimes, the way he would
do it, you might not think it's better.
Which that's the hard part whereyou're like, I'm just not gonna
(01:01:22):
say anything. Sometimes it might not even be
better, but it doesn't matter because that's you're giving up
one thing in order to get something else, you know?
Right. It's like even if I hire someone
to work for me, right, they're not gonna do everything exactly
the way that I would do them. Yeah.
But if I don't hire them and I'mdoing everything all myself all
the time, am I gonna be stressedout all the time?
(01:01:43):
Yeah. Yeah.
So sometimes I have to be like, OK, well, they're not gonna do
things exactly how I want them to do them.
Sometimes they're not gonna do them how I want them to do them.
And they do a better job, sometimes the worst job, but I
have to be able. To do that, surrender, yeah.
OK, well, that's that's 50. So yeah, we'll we'll just do a
Part 2 for episode one O 1. This is the the longest recap,
(01:02:07):
but I think the recap is actually pretty interesting.
So yeah. Yeah, you're, you're converted
to recaps now. At the beginning of this, we're
like recaps suck. And then you're like.
Echo not the Hollywood version, the.
Ours. Is the John and Nicole version.
I like it. So, yeah.
All right. All right, see you in the next.
Week well, we got to go to betterthanperfectpod.com and you
can actually do your own recap because you can look through all
(01:02:28):
the episodes there and watch them, you know, see how we've
changed and evolved and. I'm like, see you later, come to
the next one. John's like, wait a minute.
We'll see you. We'll see you next week.
I believe women can go out to bars, sure, and not be
interested in other men, sure. I think that men have a harder
time doing that 'cause they're visual people.
I do genuinely believe that a woman can go and not do anything
wrong. However, my personal thing is,
if I don't want you to do it, I'm not gonna do it, and that's
out of respect. Right.
(00:21):
Exactly. Yeah, Yeah.
But to see the man's perspective.
Which I understand like a man knows if I'm going after your
wife. We discovered through our flaws
we complete each other better than perfect, twisted through
every fault we find. All right, welcome back to the
(00:45):
Better Than Perfect podcast, where every week we share with
you how 2 imperfect people helping each other grow equals 1
better than perfect relationship.
That didn't do anything. I know that's.
And if you didn't know, it is our 100th episode.
Oh wow. 100th or 100th? 100th are no a 100th.
(01:07):
No A. 100th, 100th. 100th. But A and one are similar,
usually 100th like I have a apple means 1 apple.
I have a apples. No, Apple.
Yeah. So it's.
The same as one 100th if you. Have and 100th.
(01:32):
You don't have to do N because it starts with the H.
If you have 100th episode right,but this is our 100th episode.
Wow. Well.
Now you know what all that was so glad What?
Should we do for 100th episode? You know what we're doing for
our 100th episode? We're going to go through our
(01:54):
episodes and we will give some. We're doing a recap.
Yeah, basically one of those. Up until now.
One of those recap episodes. You know those things that you
hate when you when your favoriterecap, when your favorite TV
series, right? And they like, and it's a new
episode that comes out, but it'snot actually a new episode.
It's like a bunch of scenes fromthe old episodes and you're
(02:16):
like, oh God, sometimes you needto write a script, man.
Let's not just rehash all the stuff from the old episodes.
OK, well then do you want to do something different?
Because you seem to have very strong feelings.
I mean, this will be fun and exciting because a lot of people
haven't watched all the episodes.
Which is why they need a recap. Right.
So they need a recap. OK.
So we'll start with the first. One recap.
(02:37):
Well, it's also like what we'll do if you have something
comment, we'll briefly talk about it.
If we have nothing to say, we won't say anything.
If our views have changed, maybethey've changed.
Right, we'll see. So.
We'll talk about, OK, so the first episode that we ever
published, episode 1, was Is it even worth it to get married
anymore? Yeah.
(02:58):
Have your views changed? I think it's still worth it to
get married. Yeah, and that one, I think we
we talked about the the idea that like marriage is still a
useful thing. It's a good thing.
Yeah. A lot of men are against the
idea of marriage. They don't think there's any
benefit for them in it, but. Yeah.
Yeah, but there is a. But that level of commitment is
(03:19):
beneficial. Right.
Yeah, well, I mean, there's possible ways.
And I literally just had coaching clients that were
asking me about this. And I was like, yeah, you, you
want to get married, even if it's just on paper, like not
legally and in the sense of the government being involved, I can
get that part of it. But you, you want to have the
ceremony. You want to exchange the vows.
(03:41):
You want to exchange the rings. You want to put skin in the
game? Yeah, because they're like,
well, you know, should I get a baby Mama?
I'm like, no, no, that's not a good.
Should I get a baby Mama? Because they want to have kids.
Asking you. That well, because men are like,
I want to have kids, right? But I'm afraid, but they're
afraid of getting married because they're because of the
horror stories of divorce and all this stuff.
(04:01):
A child is an even bigger commitment, I would say.
Exactly, yeah. You're committed to being
involved with that person for the rest of your life, even if
you're not romantically committed to them anymore.
Exactly. Yeah.
So wherever men got this? Should I get a baby Mama?
Yeah. Who the hell is teaching them
that? Because I'm a go leave comments
(04:21):
the name. What are you?
Doing the name of the game, The name of the game is don't get a
baby Mama, right? That's like wife that you have a
baby with in a family. Yeah.
So Lord have mercy. Well, no quick thing on that
because, again, I've been listening to the Matthew Matthew
McConaughey episode of Diary of Aceo, and it's really good.
(04:44):
I actually recommend people should watch it because he talks
about like, since he was eight, he knew he wanted to be a
father. That was like the highest thing
on his list of what he wanted tobe.
But like he talks about how people are pulling the parachute
too quickly and again, you should listen to it.
It's good because he talks aboutin relationships how people
(05:07):
don't stick it out and work through the things they pull
parachute too quickly when they could have fixed it.
And he obviously talks about like there are some instances
obviously like abuse and things like that where you should
leave, but there's a lot of situations where you could have
fixed it but you just bailed instead of dealing with it.
(05:27):
And so it's kind of like, you know, men are trying to come up
with ways to kind of skirt around getting married, but
you're still going to end up having, you're probably going to
end up having more problems, right, If you skirt around
getting married, then if you just found a woman you wanted to
commit to and get married to andhave kids with.
Right and deal with like I just saw a clip from I think it's
(05:50):
Bruce Almighty. You've seen that movie.
Yeah, where what's his name? Jim Carrey.
Yeah, but the but God is the is the Morgan Freeman.
Morgan Freeman is God, right? And he's talking to the girl at
the bar, right? I think is his wife or whatever.
And he says he's like, well, youknow, if if someone asks God for
what was it patience? Do you think he gives them
(06:15):
patience or do you think he gives them opportunities to be
patient? If God if someone asks God for
courage, you think he gives themcourage, or you think he gives
them opportunities where they can be courageous.
If someone asks God for for their family, for love in their
family, you think he gives them love in their family or you
think gives them opportunities to love each other.
(06:37):
That's. The thing, but that's the thing
about not pulling the chute. It's like you're giving, you're
getting opportunities to learn how to love, right?
Right. It's like if you just pull the
chute, the parachute cord, and you just are ready to exit
things because they're not goinggood, you're missing the point
of relationship. You're missing the point of
marriage, the point of relationship.
It's like we're together becausewe love each other, yes, and
(06:59):
because we have crazy sex, yes, but also, but also.
Because it's on your mind. But but, but because we, we,
it's, it's a growth opportunity.Like both of us have grown from
being together, right? From the things that we've gone
through, from the conflicts thatwe've had, right.
Like those are, I couldn't have gotten to where I am on my own.
(07:21):
You couldn't have gotten to where you are on your own.
Yeah. Together we get further and not
just like more successful in life, but further in our own
personal development, right? Because we have.
Some and stronger, right? Get stronger by facing things
together, including things between each other and outside
of us. Right.
And I could just be a Playboy and whatever, not get married
(07:42):
and but and I could. Plan to be You plan to do that.
But will I grow as much as I would being with one woman,
sticking it out even when thingsare hard?
You know what I'm saying? Like, you know, that's that's
The thing is like for because guys don't understand the value
of marriage, right? That's that's a huge value of
it. But I don't make it that hard
(08:02):
for you to stick it out. You make it pretty easy.
Pretty easy. Very easy.
I forget that the word pretty toyou doesn't it's like a call or
like because you're like, how was that?
Like that's pretty good and you're like.
That sounds like pretty good. It's not.
It's not excellent. It's not extraordinary.
It's. Kind of like.
Man, yeah, to me, to me like pretty good is it's.
(08:23):
Like, pretty good, I guess It's good for a loser.
That's what my brain hears when you say that.
Maybe it's because someone insulted you one day and they're
like you're you're pretty. Pretty ugly, that's what they
said, yeah. OK, so that was just the first
episode. We got 99 more.
So number 2 was love or control 6 rules that might change your
(08:47):
relationship forever. This was one of my favorite.
That one is a good one. I feel like it's a classic one.
Do you remember what the six rules were?
No girls guys night out locationon no friends of the opposite
sex. E-mail, phone.
Password. Yeah.
(09:10):
Six of them, yeah, I'm trying. To think, what else was the last
one there? The frenzy?
Opposite sex. Was it no corn?
It might have been no talking toexes or something.
That might have been Yeah, that was it.
Yeah. Cuz there cuz there's the other
(09:30):
one. Sex is the opposite.
There's one other one, unless the no corn was one of us.
No, no locations on. No girls.
No girls night out. Guys night out.
Yeah. No friends of the opposite sex.
No talking. They're talking.
Access e-mail, access passwords.All right, Yeah, I guess you're
right. There is.
You're always right. You heard it here, folks.
(09:52):
I always say that. I'll get it that out.
I only say that for the 100th ofis that that's.
Your. Breath.
Yeah, it's. My present.
Yeah, yeah. What's the last one?
Let's see if it says it in here.I thought it was corn.
OK, Kenny Times X's location sharing phone and e-mail guy
(10:13):
signed out bound. No, I don't know.
I don't. I don't actually even know our
own rules. Maybe it was 5.
Please just follow them those. Are the five most important
ones. Whatever the the 6th 1 is, it's
it's either it's either not thatimportant or it's crucially
important. So you either duh or it's not
(10:34):
that important. OK.
Right. Like no cheating.
That's it. I.
Don't think that's that, but that is a good one.
Yeah, I mean, OK, let me just gothrough the notes real quick
that said, OK, friends of the opposite sex, this is AI
generated no XS location sharingphone and e-mail transparency,
(10:57):
girls and guys on it out. It doesn't even have I think it
was, I think it was 5 and we just we just played you all and
told you it was 6. So that's a, it's a good
marketing technique. Fine, we'll.
Tell you, we'll tell you number six in in episode. 101 the full
episode to find the six yeah. See if you can find it it's a
(11:17):
secret one. OK, but that was good.
I think those are good and and people want us to change our
views on that, but no no, they're even we've seen why
they're like from friends relationships and other
relationships that we've seen why these are so crucial.
Yeah, we have to double down on on these Yeah it.
Hasn't changed. Another one we we start off with
(11:40):
some bangers. Our third episode was Why a 5050
Relationship Won't Work. That's also like classic.
Yeah. I mean, that's what this whole
podcast is based off of. Yeah.
So we definitely still believe 5050 relationships don't work,
not to have the oneness and intimacy and connection and
(12:00):
polarity that a traditional relationship has.
Exactly. Yeah, it's not going to be, it's
not going to be the same. You can't be like you.
Know it's you when you do 5050. It's two individuals.
When you do traditional, modern,traditional like we have, it's
two people becoming one. Yeah, it's like the Power
Rangers, right? Like they become a transformer.
(12:22):
Exactly. You got to have all the little
except it's only two but. You know.
But then you become a giant. You're pretty tall.
Social. Yeah.
We could transform into something.
The next one, Episode 4, was whythe honeymoon phase doesn't have
to end. We still, we're still in the
phase. So we still believe in that one.
(12:44):
Yeah. And if you listen to that one,
you can, too. Stay in the honeymoon phase for,
what, three years? Yeah.
Well, I mean, like, you know, we've almost been married.
Yeah, legally, but we've been together for 4 1/2 years, so.
Yeah, right. We met we.
Met five years, almost almost five years ago.
No, it's five years ago. Oh, no, you're right, You're
right. It's the end of September.
(13:05):
I was like, it's already Octoberspooky season.
But but the big lesson from thatone too, though, is that it's
like my favorite analogy of the the tooth decay of the way that
you stay in the honeymoon. What causes the honeymoon phase
to end is not the chemicals you know in you know the the
oxytocin in the it's. The resentment.
(13:25):
Resentment. Exactly.
So if you brush your relationship's teeth by clearing
out all that dirty laundry and like actually dealing with
issues, you don't build resentment, which is like
tartar, which decays your. We have a whole episode on that
exactly. Well too OK oh, the next one is
called he cheated. So that one, yeah, you'll have
(13:46):
to watch that one. Yeah, that was my my story,
which is is too complicated to get into on the 100th episode,
but but it's I'm fully transparent in what what
happened with my previous situation and all that stuff.
But I mean, you have to watch the episode to get the spicy
details. And obviously cheating is bad.
Yeah, yeah, for sure. OK, Episode 6, how to handle
(14:07):
conflict in a relationship. Any thoughts on that one?
I mean, it's important, yeah. Important to.
It's an important thing because that I feel like is when people
want to throw their parachute out, right?
And conflict can either break you apart or bring you closer
together. It's how you view it.
(14:28):
And again, if you have a modern traditional relationship and you
view day-to-day life as a unit, I do feel like it also helps.
We didn't talk about this in theepisode, but I feel like that
also helps when conflict arises that you do try to stay more as
like you 2 fighting the problem versus each other.
(14:50):
And I mean, like, we've had moments where it feels like
we're fighting each other. It's very easy to fall into
that. But I feel like when you like
regroup and you think about it and how close you guys are, you
got married, you love each other, then it helps resolve the
conflict, which helps you not have resentment, which helps you
stay in the honeymoon phase. Exactly then we have #7 why do
(15:13):
women date quote ugly men? I mean, I still believe that
women will date ugly guys and that they don't value looks the
way that men think women value looks.
But I feel like men think thoughthat women value looks more than
they really do. I'm not saying that women don't
(15:34):
like looks like a woman wants tobe attracted to a man but she
can build attraction like you said in the last episode based
on who he is and he can become more attractive.
Whereas men are more like is shehot right now?
Then let me get to know her. Exactly.
So. #8 Why traditional relationships are better.
(15:59):
Because they just, I feel like we yeah, cuz I feel like we
already kind of discussed that even in the when I just
explained the 5050 things. So.
Exactly. Yeah, but.
If you want further details, go watch that episode, no?
But I think that's good. I mean, that's the core of our
entire show podcast, is that traditional relationships are
better. The man is the man.
(16:21):
He's masculine. The woman is feminine.
The man is the leader, right, Right.
He's he's the authority. Everybody has their roles, which
sounds bad, but I think it only sounds bad to people who are
doing all the roles. Right.
Right. That they don't realize that
they already have roles more than they really want, right?
And when you have this dynamic, I can give you the masculine
(16:44):
roles that I was doing before and I could do the feminine ones
and focus on that. And you can focus on the
masculine ones. And it actually is better for
everybody. Right.
And you have to know what it is.It's like people dance around
it. They don't want to say the man's
dominant, the woman's submissive.
It's the same thing as like, if I'm like, if I'm at work and
they're like, oh, who's that guy?
(17:06):
That oh, he's, he's sort of likehe, I mean, he he kind of
manages our well, I don't want to say that like, I mean, we
kind of decide together what we're going to.
It's like, is that your boss? Yeah, that's my boss.
Like, you know, it's like how ifyou don't have the role to find,
then how do you understand? Right.
(17:27):
Like you can't go to work and and be like be ambiguous about
who is in charge, right? Like you have to have someone
who's in charge in anything, in a team, in a relationship,
whatever it is. Now where I think men screwed up
is they don't understand what servant leadership is.
Servant, right? And you said servant before
leadership. Right.
Servant comes first means putting the other people first,
(17:50):
right? It's like I say, the captain of
the ship, they kept a ship. He goes down with the ship,
right? Women and children first.
They are getting saved. You were going down with the
ship. You're taking responsibility.
You're putting their lives aboveyours.
If you're that kind of man, thena woman should not have a
problem submitting to your authority and letting you be the
(18:11):
leader. But the difference between, I
think the old traditional relationships versus the modern
one was the woman had to do it because she.
Couldn't get a job and have a bank account and right?
And now she chooses is to submitto a man more powerful.
Exactly. Yeah, it's more powerful.
I think there is a captain of the ship episode isn't?
There, I think there is. I think there is.
(18:33):
OK, Next one, Episode 9, How to have a successful first date?
Well, yeah. There's I think that one we
probably still agree with the same stuff.
Yeah, yeah. It's about being flirty and fun.
Exactly. Yeah, don't don't make it
boring. Don't make it a job interview.
(18:54):
You know, take take her mini golfing.
Yeah, so. Or I kick his butt a hike I'm.
Just kidding, all right, But also, I mean, a hike is good
too. Don't do it like doing something
physical that's funny, like interactive.
Like the point is like do something interactive for your
doing, you know, I mean different.
Some women would prefer to do a hike, you know, like that's a I
(19:18):
know you would not. That's not your idea of a of a
first. I don't mind a hike, just not in
100° degree San Diego weather. That happened #10 is how a man
should lead a relationship. So this is still.
Well, what do you think? A leader.
(19:39):
He should like we talked about the servant leadership.
I don't think we talked about somuch about servant leadership in
that episode, but a man has to be willing to take charge, but
to take responsibility for, right?
So the buck stops there, right? So if you want authority, you
have to take responsibility, meaning that if someone in your
household is not doing what they're supposed to be doing,
(20:00):
it's not their fault. Like you have to coach them, but
it's ultimately you, you messed up, right?
It's like you, you got to take responsibility.
Like the buck stops here, right?So I think that's really the,
the key. And then like I said, putting
everyone else first before yourself, leading not with an
authoritative or authoritative like do this, but.
(20:24):
Leading in the sense. Guidance.
Right. Yeah, or or doing the thing
first, like taking the taking charge.
Influence. Exactly.
Yeah, Not, not demand. The captain of the ship doesn't
go, oh, yeah, you guys messed upwhen the ship sinks and like,
all right, I'm getting out of here.
It's your guys. These guys suck.
This crew sucks. Like you hired the crew, so.
(20:45):
And you're, you're managing the crew.
Your choice was to You should have fired the crew if that was
like before, right? Before now.
Yeah, exactly. Yeah, so let's see, oh, episode
11. This one's a good one.
Stop doing girls night out and guys night out.
Now people hate this. They're like, it's not I I trust
(21:06):
my partner and and all of this stuff, but it's like there's no
good. I mean my favorite thing.
Not even about trust, it's aboutdisrespect.
Yeah, if you're vegan, why are you hanging around the sausage
factory? Like you're just looking at the
sausage factory. OK, but you're in the sausage
factory. Like if you're going out to a
bar, that is a place to hook up with people, like it's alcohol,
(21:28):
it's people trying to get laid. So if you're just like, I'm just
out there innocent having fun, Are you going to nightclub?
I'm just dancing. No, no, no, not not like go and
do something. Else.
Yeah, you can have a girls nightor a guys night like girls.
Night, go to dinner. Go to dinner, right?
Like. Crafts, whatever.
Yeah. Or guy.
(21:48):
Guy can go. Go workout class.
Yeah, you could go to go golf, go for golf or hike.
Yeah. Go to the gym, like, or even go
to dinner, like, But not nightclub, not bar, not single
people stuff. Right.
Exactly. So, yeah.
And a lot of women really have the biggest problem with this, I
think. And I think the biggest analogy
that I've found that that's helpful for women to understand
(22:10):
is that they're like, oh, well, I'm just going to the nightclub
to dance. I'm just dancing with my
friends. Like this is controlling.
If you tell me I can't do this and it's like, OK, but if you
had your guy and he went to a place where every woman in there
was trying to sleep with him andthen giving him free drinks,
(22:31):
would you would you let him be that it would change your mind?
Here is that I believe women cango out to bars and not be
interested in other men. I like that men have a harder
time doing that. Even if they're taken, they're
still looking at women 'cause they're visual people.
(22:52):
So I think women don't understand because they can go.
And I do genuinely believe that a woman can go and not do
anything wrong. However, my personal thing is if
I can't do it or like if I don'twant you to do it, I'm not gonna
do it for sure. Even if I could do it without
causing trouble, right, I'm not going to do it because you can't
(23:15):
do it, right? And that's like out of respect.
Right. Exactly.
Yeah, yeah. So that's my opinion.
But but, but to see the man's perspective.
Which I understand that like. A man knows if.
I'm going after your wife. Right.
Like I know like even if I'm like I trust her and I know that
she can resist this, right? It's still a bunch of guys
(23:36):
trying to buy her, giving her free drinks and trying to sleep.
Trying to steal your woman? Yeah, exactly.
And so it's like, but if the tables were turned, there is no
circumstance where a woman will be OK with knowing, OK, this
this guy's going to a place where a bunch of women are going
to try and, and give him free drinks and try to try to invite
him to sleep with him. Yeah, like, it's just not gonna
happen. So that's that just puts it into
(23:58):
perspective as to why it's not acceptable.
Makes sense? Yeah, for either, but you know,
like I said, women more so give a problem with this.
But I think that's why, that's why I wanted to say it like,
because they know that they're capable of not doing that, but
that still doesn't make it OK. You know what I mean?
Like you can't tell your husbandnot to go out and then you can
go out. Right, yeah, or, or even like
(24:20):
guys are like, oh, what's the big deal if I go to the bar with
my friends and have a couple of drinks?
Well, first of all, don't drink.But but, but, but second of all,
you don't have to go to the bar,right?
Like you like, you can go somewhere.
Else yeah, go have dinner with your guy friends.
Yeah, you don't have to go to the bar.
So #12 was Why do women like assholes and losers?
(24:46):
Why do they like assholes and losers?
Yeah, that's what we we titled it like, like, why do women like
guys that are like jerks and guys that live in a in a trailer
park, you know, like they don't have any money.
They're just like losers. I mean, I can't remember exactly
what we said, but it's because Iguess they have nothing to lose
(25:09):
and they are authentically themselves and they speak their
mind. Well, I I think like the
revision would be that that the night the quadrant that I
created of the four types of guys.
Yeah. But it's like you have on one
side cares about people versus don't cares about people, cares
what people think versus don't cares about people think.
(25:29):
And women are attracted to guys that don't care what other
people think. And so if you're the kind of guy
that doesn't care about what other people think, but you're
but you care about people, then you're a gentleman.
The winner? You're the Unicorn.
Yeah, yeah. But it but most guys that don't
care about other what other people think also don't care
about people and they're an assholes.
So they fit into that that category.
(25:50):
And and so asshole, if you're anasshole, you could be a loser.
It's not just like a guy that has money.
That's true. You know, it's just it's the
quality that he has that he doesn't care what other people
think. I think too.
And then she wants to rescue him, you know, save him, turn
him around. Right.
I was gonna say, I think women want to turn the asshole into
the guy that's like mean to the world, but sweet to her.
(26:14):
Yeah, Captain statement. Same with like they'll support
the loser guy in hopes that he'll get ambition one day and
make this huge thing and he'll remember that she supported him
when he had nothing. I think that's what happens a
lot of the time with those sort of guys on top of that, like
usually they have nothing to lose.
So again, they like speak their mind and people respect that
(26:36):
about people, right? So I think there's that.
But I do think that a lot of thetimes it's women hoping that the
guy's going to change into the opposite of what he is, and they
wait around for that and then itdoesn't.
Because and I think like some revisions too, because I think
at that time in that episode, I talked more about maybe the
loser guy is good looking, whichwhich can be the case.
(26:57):
But I think more of the attractive element is that he
doesn't care what other people think.
He just says what what he means and what what he wants.
But but I think also on that spectrum of the the female side
now I lost my it was a good one.Oh, Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, I know
what it was. OK, so a woman is much more
(27:18):
likely to convert an asshole, right?
A guy that's already doesn't care what other people think to
being kind to her or like she she has more hope of that than
converting a nice guy to being astud.
Like that's a that's much less likely.
The guy that's a nice guy that is a pushover.
She doesn't have like there's not much of a chance that she's
(27:38):
going to make him tough. But if he's already tough, then
maybe she she can make him sweet.
You know what I'm saying? Like she can tame him, but you
know, I'm saying like so. Giving like romance books.
But one one has more hope. But women desperately hope for
the right. But you can't be with somebody
no based on who you hope they change into.
But that's why women are attracted to assholes.
(27:59):
And well, no, that's what I'm saying.
But they're not attracted to whythey're with them is because
they're hoping that something's gonna change.
But you can't be with anybody. Nobody can be with anyone that
they want to change, that they're attracted to what they
could be. Exactly, Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But you just have less chance with the nice guy.
So that of that happening, right.
It's like I tell guys all the times like if you have the
(28:19):
choice between leaning on nice guy side or asshole side,
leaning on the asshole side, because you can always ask for
forgiveness. But once you're labeled as nice
guy, you're you're done. Like you're you're never never
get a shot your friend zone permanently.
There's the episode on Nice Guysthat I'm sure is coming up.
Let's see men's biggest struggles in dating and
relationships episode 13 and we we talked about a lot of the.
(28:43):
You're a man. What do you think the men's
issues talked about here? I mean, the probably a little
bit of the whole flation type ofthing where, you know, women are
getting so much like validation on social media that their
estimation of their values is, is way higher than what it
(29:06):
should be. Our same thing with dating apps
giving that validation and then and then guys that are above
their level sleeping with them and they only want to sleep with
them. They want to commit with them so
they think they can get that guy.
So that makes it harder for the the average guy.
I'm sure there's some Nice Guys stuff in there too, like we
talked about the last episode, like going on a date and being
(29:26):
like, I want away for giving women all these things right off
the bat and she hasn't earned itso.
And guys feel like only women are interested in assholes or
whatever, like you know, so and then also just the masculine
anything, right? Because in society, I mean, it's
coming back now. I do feel like since we
published this episode, that masculine is finally being
(29:48):
valued again. Yeah, in society.
But there was a very long periodof time where it was like guys
had no identity. And it still is a big problem.
Right? But but I feel like there's more
of a call to that to to traditional masculinity.
And traditional value, well, I'mdoing it in the right way too,
because again, I think even withlike the traditional marriages,
(30:11):
it was like masculinity back then was like forceful and brute
and, you know, not good. It wasn't servant leadership.
It was like not a thing that people really want to go back
to. So then the pendulum swung a
little too hard the other way. And now it's like we got to get
to the sweet. Spot because for a long time I
(30:33):
think the big complaint too was that women are told you can do
anything you want. You can you don't need a man
like you you're you're powerful as a woman, be a boss babe, all
these things and then it like you're you're more valuable than
a man you're just as valuable asa man.
But then men are told are like, OK, well, what like.
(30:53):
What about me? Women get to do all the things
women can do. They can be beautiful, they can
be all these things and they canbe all the things that men can
be. So then what is special about me
as a, as a man? Like, that's probably the chief
complaint of of men. Yeah.
It's like society has done that.That's.
True. OK episode 14 when you mess up.
(31:15):
We had to stop an episode short.This was when we tried to do the
struggles of women and I was a Dick head and messed up the
episode. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We stopped it in the middle, right?
Yeah, yeah. So.
I can't remember what you said. I don't know.
I said something like I I wasn'tevaluating your like what you
(31:37):
were trying to say and just likeI was being combated.
Yeah. Oh, yeah, You were like, really
going hard. You were like, men are gonna say
this like, Oh yeah, you were trying to like.
To create. Like extreme like they would be,
but it like did kind of invalidate the like it took away
from the episode. Yeah, I guess we should do that
(31:59):
episode. The struggles of women in in
dating. I think we did it a little bit
close. We kind of did some stuff cuz we
talked about older women and younger women and maybe that
was, I don't know, we could see OK, the next one, episode 15
Marriage is about I'm trying to beat the clock.
(32:20):
Yeah, we need to not go so far into tandem.
Just the ones that we that are, you know that we need to say
some, but marriage is about two becoming one.
That's episode 15. Which we talked about.
Yeah, I don't think we need. To in some of the early like in
the discussion we're having here, we talked about that and a
few of the other ones. This was a good one.
Episode 16 Pick one happy mom orhappy wife about really about
(32:44):
your wife comes first, not your mom.
OK, Don't be a mom as boy and not anyone else.
Not your family, not like your wife comes first.
Even if she's wrong, she still comes first.
Like you back your wife even if she's wrong.
Then you have a talk with her privately and be like hey, like
that wasn't cool what you did oryou disrespected my family.
That wasn't cool. But you back her so that
(33:06):
everyone knows where you stand. It's like even if she's wrong,
I'm going to back her because she's my wife.
So you, you better you know where it lies.
So. But same thing with with men
too. Like, obviously you're you back
your husband, right? Yeah, especially publicly.
All right. Can you really be satisfied with
(33:27):
Just One Person Forever, Episode17?
This one still, I'm just like asking you occasionally, like,
Are you sure you want to be withme for the rest of your life?
Who wouldn't want to be with this?
Look at her. But I don't know, I guess it's
like I believe it. I do, but I just feel like as a
(33:49):
woman, it is kind of hard, especially like all the episodes
talk about men just want to get laid and you're on the spree
before we met. It's like you really wanted to
give all that up. And Are you sure you want to
give all that up for your whole life?
It's like I believe that you do.But there is a part of me that's
like, how do you go from one side to the other sort of thing?
(34:13):
But. And I think that, and then we
talked about in one of the episodes too, is that is
something that women are supposed to be insecure about to
a degree, right? Like you're supposed to give
reassurance as a man, but I don't think you ever completely
solved that because. And and it's almost a good thing
is that a woman still needs to feel like that, that she like to
(34:35):
to not take the man for granted.She kind of needs to be like, to
realize that like, OK, this is what he's valuable.
Yeah. That that he is making this
choice that he could have made another choice, right?
And I think that is important that you know so.
I don't like it though. And then we did episode 18 sex.
(34:55):
Yes. We talked about about sex.
Still the same. Yeah, still the same.
Still important. This could destroy your
relationship. 8 episode 19. We tried to get clever.
I don't remember what. Let.
Let's see. I've got the recap here.
Is it? Oh, travel.
It was travelling with people. Yeah.
(35:16):
So because we were in Hawaii at the time.
Oh, that's very true. Yeah, I still think that's true.
I still think you should go on like a trip, yeah, where you're
dating together, yeah, for a decent amount of time.
Because things happen when you're travelling, random stuff
goes wrong and you see how they handle it.
Time, yeah, especially if you both are working jobs and stuff
(35:38):
and you're not actually spending, you know, 48 hours
together, even a 48 hour trip, you'll find out.
Yeah, even a weekend trip. You're right.
Yeah. OK, will social media be the
downfall of relationships episode 20 Still I.
Think it's it hasn't been good for relationships, but I think
(36:00):
AI might be the downfall of relationships like in the
episode that we'll get to eventually, you know, on AII
said that I think it could eradicate relationships in a way
because men can just go get a female robot and women can go
get a male robot and like. Yeah.
(36:20):
You know, I don't know, I want to think that humans care about
other humans, but I also know that there are people that will
definitely jump on the robot. Yeah, trend.
And maybe it's good to like, letthose people not reproduce.
Yeah, I mean, that's true. But yeah, I think social media
is not great. Like just because there's still
(36:42):
temptations, like, you know, you're a public figure.
You had some girl get in your DMS, you know what I mean?
She was beautiful and had like aton of followers in.
Your opinion? To me, she looked like a trash
heap. Yeah, if you're watching your
trash heap, literal trash. Like I looked at you, I was like
trash. But yeah, so I mean, I don't
(37:04):
think it's great because it still gives people connection to
other people that back like whenour parents got married and
stuff they didn't have. Oh, Facebook caused so many
divorces. Yeah, because you can like stay
in touch. Because it's like your high all
of a sudden your high school girlfriend, whatever high
school, like, it's like you're having some trouble in your
marriage. Like, Oh my God.
(37:24):
Like the boomer divorce that Facebook caught, like, oh, so
many. Yeah.
And then public stuff that was happening.
But I didn't even tell you the IT was a thing with my ex's
family. They had like a whole thing on
Facebook where her uncle or something was like his.
(37:48):
They, the aunt found, rekindled the flame with her high school
boyfriend. Off of Facebook.
Off of Facebook and then he was posting about how he was finger.
Yeah, yeah. On.
And I'm reading the Facebook feed.
(38:10):
Yeah. On Facebook.
Yeah, yeah, this was happening on Facebook.
That's messy. Yeah.
And then unfortunately, actuallythe guy drank himself to death
over it and died. Gosh, yeah, that's horrible.
And this all happened like the drama happened on Facebook.
That's. Yeah, they were both publicly.
(38:30):
So Facebook is, yeah. Or social media.
Yeah. I mean, it's not great.
I mean, we're trying to use social media in a sense for sure
to like be human and talk about all this stuff.
But a lot of people do portray different things than is
actually happening. I mean, that's why we started
the podcast and had the in segment where we talk about
where we deal with our own stuff.
(38:51):
Because we don't want to come onhere and act like we don't
fight. We fight.
No, no. Very minimally, right?
Yeah. And we're very respectful when
we have disagreements, but we have to be real.
Like we don't want to. Be having sex to have fights
but. You have to handle things
healthily, John. Yeah.
You can't just. OK, yeah.
(39:11):
Just can't just. Yeah.
Dang. It out OK.
But but but well, I mean, but even with what you're saying,
OK, which which what's going to get more views?
Our episode talking about stuff on social media that's important
or fresh and fit with a bunch ofhoes, right?
Like, you know what I mean or whatever.
(39:31):
Podcasts are like crazy. Yeah, bad things.
Like I saw some other show or something that was talking about
YouTube like kids and how the dad that was like helping manage
this YouTube kid. YouTube was saying that people
don't want to watch a kid learn how to ride a bike.
They want to watch the kid fall off a bike.
(39:53):
Do you know how messed up that is?
Do you know how messed up our society is that like the things
that are popular on YouTube and stuff are not like good things.
Like let me learn how to, you know, build a table.
Yes, people still look up that stuff, but more views happen to
shitty things happening in the video or like hate or like, you
(40:15):
know, videos like that. So social media.
Yeah. I still will double down on
this. I think I said in the episode,
the worst invention ever createdfor humanity is the iPhone.
Yeah. Because without this, we used to
have to talk to each other. You wouldn't have social media
because social media is built off of this.
Like, yeah, you might have like,Facebook on your computer, but
(40:38):
you're not. That's different.
You have to sit down for a certain amount of time.
This has ruined more lives, ruined more human communication
and and relationships and cause more division and hatred in the
world because you had to. Like again, you could still have
some of these things, but you'd have to sit at your computer.
People are on their phones scrolling on X and and getting
pissed off and right and saying that.
(40:58):
For flip phones again, yeah. And TikTok and all that stuff.
So how having kids changes your relationship Episode 21.
I'm sure everything we said in there is still the same.
A lot of people think that kids will fix their relationship.
No, no, no, no. It changes it.
It's a different dynamic. It's a good dynamic.
You have to be solid in who you are as a couple though, before
(41:22):
you have kids for sure. If you're not solid and you're
like, oh, kid, we'll fix this. Do not have kids.
No, not until your relationship is solid.
How to romance a Woman episode 22.
You just talk about sex all the time, like John's been on this
episode. No, he has.
He knows how to romance women, so you should definitely.
(41:42):
Watch that episode. Yeah, there's too much to talk
about there. Should a woman ever propose to a
man? Episode 23.
Yeah, we said no, and I think westill think no.
Yeah, I think even more so. No, at this point it's.
Like, you were already pretty hard, now I was also hard now.
Yeah, but more hard of a nil, yeah.
(42:05):
A. A.
A. A How can women be romantic?
It's not what you think. Episode 24.
It involves SEX. Yeah.
And seduction. Exactly, Yeah.
It's yeah, still think the same.Yeah, who settles more, men or
(42:26):
women? Episode 25.
Did we ever even answer that? I don't think we even answered.
Who settles more in the episode?If I can't remember, maybe we
did. I don't know if we, I mean, we
had arguments for both sides, but both men and women do
settle. I think maybe women do just
because biologically, but I alsothink men do a lot because
(42:50):
that's why they're like, becauseI think they don't vet the same.
And I think they're like, this woman likes me.
And I've also seen people talk about how, like, men will only
settle down when they're ready to settle down.
Whereas, like a woman, you know,she either finds somebody that
she's like, OK, I want to be with this person.
She'll settle down whatever timeline, if the guy is right,
(43:12):
right? But she'll also settle down if
she gets old enough where she's like, shoot, I want to have a
family and I'm getting older andI need to have kids.
I think she'll settle then. I mean I had a coaching client
in mind that his last girlfriendwas 15 years older than him and
he wasn't attracted to her. He didn't even find her
attractive and he was in like a multi year relationship.
(43:33):
What was he doing? It's like he couldn't find a
different girl. OK, that was a girl that liked.
It but he. Yeah, I know.
Because like that's what. So that was a.
That's a. Settle.
It's kind of like maybe we didn't answer it because it's
kind of like split down the middle.
It's it's. Just in different.
Ways either way, yeah. Yeah, they settle for different
reasons. All right, should you ever take
(43:54):
someone back Episode 26? We said mostly no, right?
But even though I took you back multiple times, it's OK You lost
your marbles a little bit. Yeah, you got your marbles back.
Yeah, Yeah, I think that. When there was a different
(44:16):
circumstance, you didn't like break up with me because you
didn't like me or our relationship.
It was other complicated things and so in that instance, people
can use their own discretion whether they want to get back
together if it's not about the actual relationship.
But most people break up becauseof the actual relationship
dynamic. In that case you should not get.
Yeah, because it's still going to be toxic if it's toxic.
I mean, you, you got the MatthewMikahanahay from the his parents
(44:39):
got married, married three times.
Divorced twice, yeah. So.
You know, and then, and then hisdad went out with the bang.
Literally. All right, so men do not want
Boss Babes episode 27. I mean, I think that's true.
I think like women still obviously, like I think women
(45:03):
somewhere along the way got the message of, oh, you know, I'll
be impressive if I do this not just to men, but to themselves,
to everybody. And I'm not saying that women
shouldn't have goals and shouldn't have things to work
for. They can't run a business.
But it's like, if you're doing that because you think a guy's
going to be impressed, right? He's not.
(45:23):
He's not like, not that he's not, but that's not going to be
a deciding factor. Yeah, he'd rather he'd rather
pick up the cashier girl at 711 and wipe her up because she's
sweet and and humble and and. You can be those things and run
a business, yeah. Exactly.
You can, but those are the qualities that the man's looking
for. It's not matter how much money
(45:45):
you make or whatever like some guys would would say.
If he does care about that runaway, yeah, seem like looking
for a sugar Mama. OK, then we did episode 28.
Western women are too woke for Passport Bros.
That was the whole by what we say on.
The passport passport Bros thing.
It's just like an easy way out. And it's not even like easy, you
(46:07):
know what I mean? Like it's, it's like you not
becoming a man and doing the things you need to do and going
to find other women that want strong men.
And then they think that you're a man cuz you came over there
and you're like trying to court them.
But then a lot of times again, the guys will be like, we don't
take them back to America. But if she came to America and
(46:29):
saw, yeah, you aren't American. She would run your ass over.
She'd be like, you're not a man either.
Yeah, like, she would know that the jig is up.
That's why they stay over there too.
So they're like, could pretend to be like a man.
Exactly. It's just like when men would
complain if women were doing thesame thing.
If women were like going to other countries and looking for
manly men, they'd be pissed. Yeah, or they some women do
(46:49):
that. Like they they go to some
countries where there are more manly men and they're like
they're reporting back, but that's not the general
population. No, it's not, because again,
it's like, I get it, But usuallythose women too aren't really
being feminine here to try to like, find a man here.
(47:09):
It's not solving their problems.There are.
Extremely masculine men to like.Well, I mean, and this is a new
point of that is like you're looking for something outside
yourself to solve your problem, which the problem is you, right?
And it's like, yeah, you can getthe easy road and then hopefully
that works out for you. But you haven't solved the core
problem, which is that you're not the man.
You're not masculine enough. But unfortunately in the
(47:31):
passport Bros don't self reflectlike that either.
I love you, but I don't like you.
Episode 30. I can't even remember what we
talked about there as like. I mean I.
Thought about that. Friend together and but they
don't really like their partner.And they say that like I love
you, but I don't like you. Right.
Like they're just kind of stuck together because.
(47:51):
Of the commitment. My mom used to say to me all the
time I was like, I love you, butI don't like you right now.
Well, I mean, and I, I think that that's necessarily not bad
to say because like if in an instance, but if you say that
you don't like that person as a person, like I love you, but I
don't like you, I think saying Ilove you, but I don't.
(48:11):
I'm not happy. With how you're acting right now
or something like that, that is fine to say if you're having a
serious conversation. But this is more so the people
who are like I love you but I don't like you and they
genuinely don't like their spouse and they have resentment.
You can tell built up and like you can tell the difference.
We're gonna have to speed run some of these here.
(48:32):
I can't believe. All right, we're on episode 31,
The Surrendered Wife. This was the book.
That's a book by Laura Doyle. Check it out.
Yeah, if she isn't afraid you'llcheat, she doesn't love you.
Episode 32 doesn't. Actually talked about that too,
where you just talked about there has to be that little bit
of because that that proves thatyou're valuable in your wife's
eyes. Like, it's not great, you know,
(48:54):
being on the side of like, beingscared that your husband is
gonna run away or you gotta always continue some moment.
It's gonna be like, come and snatch him away.
But. Yeah, if you're just sitting on
the couch being fat eating Doritos and you're like, you
know, like your woman should think that like other woman
would want you. Yeah.
Otherwise you're you're not doing what you should be and and
(49:15):
it kind of goes. You're not being the man.
The other way too, is like you're you're like a woman
should be treating a man like a king, whereas like other men
would definitely would want thiskind of woman.
So the biggest problem with men today that makes them weak?
Episode 33. What is the biggest problem?
(49:36):
I think I said that it was that there.
I think there's one where I saidpride, that they don't have
pride. Oh, probably.
That is, I think, pride in beinga man.
Yeah, I would say that's the biggest one if that isn't.
Yeah, lack of pride, that's whatI said in there.
And inability to handle adversity.
So they just run for they want 5050 relationships.
Everyone, it has an ability to handle adversity in this country
(49:59):
right now, yeah. That's what a lot of my bulldog
stuff is about now is like, like, lately it's been about how
it, like, good to to have problems.
Yeah. All right.
Why do men and women hate each other?
Episode 35. That's a complicated one.
People should definitely watch that episode but I feel like
it's. Getting a little.
(50:19):
Better everybody. Yeah, I think, well, I think.
I mean, the, the the bear thing was not a good step in the right
direction, but I think in general it's getting better.
I think more people are going back to more traditional values
now. Right.
I think that that helps people appreciate each other more.
I think that the hate just in general with everything has
gotten out of control. And then men hate women and
women hate men. And it's, you know, it just
(50:41):
causes this cycle of dysfunction.
Yeah, is he secretly controllingor confidently dominant?
No more girls trips allowed episode 36.
This was about the whole. Telling the difference between
controlling and dominance. And and when women say, oh,
that's controlling or you're insecure, is that don't be
(51:03):
insecure about women calling youinsecure as a guy because that's
a all right. Why women initiate 90% of
divorces episode 37. Because men are afraid to break
up with women. They're afraid to have the balls
to to end it. And this was the first one,
episode 38, where we first really took a stance on this,
(51:24):
which is why buy the cow when I can get the milk for free?
It's like, it's like. Because you can't give the milk
away for free. Like that you should.
Which is kind of like how women have the power in dating.
And like in episode 99 where we talked about, you know, men are
going to look for sex, but you can't give him the sex.
Like he's going to try to get the milk for free, but you can't
(51:46):
give him the milk. You have to.
Judge his level of investment. Right, well, you have to make
him in. Exactly right, yeah.
You like he has to. You have to withhold it so he
invests. Yeah, Yeah.
I could see scenarios where it sex happens quickly.
If then like two people fall in love and like the investment is
very high from the very beginning, I could see that.
(52:06):
Scenario gauge that out. Yeah, but you have to gauge that
out. That's not just happening most
of the time. And you still have to be
strategic in the beginning to even get that level of
investment. Yeah, so.
What what men get out of marriage episode 39?
It's kind of like the the same as the the marriage that we
rehash the marriage thing again like.
(52:28):
Right, because it's really men who are afraid of marriage.
Women are women are afraid of traditional marriage and being
left with nothing. Right In a divorce, men are just
afraid of marriage and also being left with nothing but and
a whole bunch of stuff as well. Women are delicate vulnerably
makes you invulnerable. Episode 40, That was a good one.
(52:50):
That is a good one. That is definitely one that
people should watch just in general because they think a lot
of times vulnerability is weakness.
Yeah, are the five love languages legit?
Episode 41. That's where we talked about how
they're more, yeah, talking about how they were masculine
(53:12):
and feminine. Yeah, that's the attachment.
Yeah, that's the attachment. But we were kind of like, yeah.
And I still don't think. I mean, I think.
It's a good way to like understand how your partner
feels more loved like yours is physical touch.
And you do like when I like hug on you, you tell me how it makes
you feel better. And I like, I like quality time
(53:32):
and yeah, acts of service, but I.
Think we were saying like the thing that you crave is probably
the thing that you're you're lacking.
It's not necessarily like that is your love language.
It's like, what are you lacking the most of the time?
It's like, I think that's a better way.
Of like what you're needing. Yeah, we got in a big fight
Episode 42. I don't even know what the big
(53:53):
fight was. I don't know it was.
We don't have time to get into it.
Sure, we resolved it. You can go listen to that one if
you want. To a woman's role is to support
Herman episode 43. It's true.
You are the rocket and I am the rocket fuel.
That's it. Are men dangerous?
(54:14):
The Real Reason Women Fear Men, Episode 44.
Yeah, because they don't want toget murdered.
Yeah, and I think that's I think, I think there's
definitely some some truth to that, especially seeing nice
guys what when you find out whattheir real who they really are
when you reject them, right, right.
Well, a lot of men have undercover anger issues, yeah.
(54:36):
And like, the nice guys are kindof the scariest because they
come across nice. And sometimes they have the
worst anger problems because they're nice, because they
expect something back. And when they don't get that,
then the angry part comes. Out.
And they're real. Yeah.
So it's good to see you know howa man's character is by making
him mad. OK, episode 45 when she's
(55:03):
masculine and he's feminine, canit be turned around?
That was a good one too. Well, he said, it can, but it's
difficult. Yeah, very difficult, but that's
how a lot of relationships are, where the woman wears the pants
in their relationship and the man is just this.
Little submissive. Yeah, yeah.
If you have that dynamic, watch that episode because that is a
good one. Are you self sabotaging your
relationship without even knowing it?
(55:23):
Episode 46 I don't remember our our fears like if you're having
to if you're too afraid to commit No like fears of of
things going wrong in a relationship of letting fear
dictate your relationship. Your insecurities can sabotage a
(55:44):
relationship that I think that'sa very true.
Thing yeah, when they're extremeyeah yeah I have a hard time
with the self sabotage stuff sometimes gotten better about.
It no, I don't. Yeah, I think that it's not an
issue for you anymore. I would say you're you get the
stamp of. Of heels of heels.
(56:05):
You're healed, woman, all right.Woman, you're a healed.
Woman, you traditional relationships limit your life.
That was a good one. Episode 47.
People think that, and again, I'm going back to the Matthew
McConaughey thing because he talks actually a lot about the
same ish kind of stuff. Yeah, where he talks about, and
(56:25):
you've talked about it too, for sure before, that when you have
discipline, you get more freedom.
Exactly. Yeah.
And so people listening to this,they might be like rules.
What? Like even when we did the rules
one, I was like, this doesn't feel like rules.
I don't want to do any of these things.
They're they're rules that are in place.
(56:46):
But I never get close enough where it feels like a rule.
I'm never like, oh, I can't cross this line.
You know what I mean? Like, I don't even come close.
So I get where people who don't understand, they think that it
seems more confined, but it actually feels more freeing
because you have guidelines and they make sense.
So they don't feel like rules orguidelines, but they help you
(57:09):
live a structured life that is more beneficial.
And as a man, you have to createthese for the relationship to
have boundaries. To have the leader.
Yeah. So you should be thinking about
these things and because even like you said, like a woman
maybe could go to a club, whatever, and not even thinking
about cheating or it's not even a temptation for her, right?
(57:29):
But so she might not think that there's anything wrong with
that. But as a man, you have to be
like, OK, this is not it's not good.
So This is why you know what I mean?
Like she might not think of thatinnocently.
She might not think of that. But as a man, you should be
protecting the relationship. You should think about what the
things need to be, you know. Should we open our relationship
(57:49):
Episode 48 we were not actually considering opening our.
Two to this. Maybe we should do a Part 2 as
the next episode. We did one.
We did. One, no, I meant for the recap
because we're almost. I thought you were saying for
the open the relation. I'm like, no, what are you
talking about? Like no, there's no Part 2 but.
(58:10):
Then I was it's like it's getting kind of like to an hour,
which is long. So maybe we need to do another
sorry, repeat that one more time.
But yeah, we. Should we open our relationship
episode 48? We're up to Part 2 of this one.
I changed my mind. Maybe we should like forget
about better than perfect podcasts.
This is now The More the Merrierpodcast.
(58:34):
I did not change my mind. Still not a good idea.
Not if you want to have an intimate close relationship as a
unit as one. So we're at yeah.
So I guess we're. At Yeah, we should end at 50 and
then do the other. And then do the other 50 the
next episode. Yeah, OK, because we were going
to do the episode on the smut novels, but.
(58:56):
We'll save that. We'll save.
We'll save. That so it's 102.
Yeah, OK, so is. Oh.
Speaking of which, is reading smut the same as watching porn?
Episode 49? Yeah, we're going to revisit
this one. Yeah, because it's gotten worse.
We didn't change our minds. No, no.
(59:16):
But we have a lot more to add. Yeah, because it's it's getting,
it's getting bad to the point of.
But yeah, I think it's it's something that's worth
revisiting. But that's actually a very
popular episode. Yeah, a lot of and then a lot of
guys is, which is why we're doing another episode.
It's like my wife is doing this.I.
Feel just about it, but I don't know, they're afraid.
Yeah, it's, it's a bad situation, right?
(59:36):
But maybe we can shed some lighton it.
So and then #50 how women try tocontrol men in relationships.
This one I think we did talk about that language.
Yeah. Well, and I think we probably
talked about the Laura Doyle book as well, because women like
(59:57):
to be in control and lead. And I don't know if we talked
about it in there that it's goodfor women to be on their own and
do all the things so that they know how to do it.
But a lot of times they get stuck in that.
And so even if they're with a man that leads and they trust,
they still try to control the thing.
I still sometimes try to controlthe thing, like driving.
(01:00:19):
You hate that. I know, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
I'm like, we can be efficient. I'm just trying to help you.
But it does come across. If you wouldn't tell the Uber
driver it, don't tell me it. If you think that would be rude
to say to the Uber driver, like tell him how to drive, look.
I don't say all that's I would tell the Uber driver all but
you. Don't I do you do not.
(01:00:40):
When we're in the Uber, you're not like.
He goes away. But no, yeah, it is hard for
women to kind of like let that go, especially too with all the
like, oh, you don't need a man and all this stuff.
So women try to learn how to do all this stuff, which again, I
think is good because I think that when you find a good man
and you give him those responsibilities, even though
(01:01:01):
it's hard and you still want to control, then like you can fully
give that up. And you know that you really
trust that man because you know how you would do it.
And if you would do it better, then that's impressive.
Yeah, yeah. But sometimes, the way he would
do it, you might not think it's better.
Which that's the hard part whereyou're like, I'm just not gonna
(01:01:22):
say anything. Sometimes it might not even be
better, but it doesn't matter because that's you're giving up
one thing in order to get something else, you know?
Right. It's like even if I hire someone
to work for me, right, they're not gonna do everything exactly
the way that I would do them. Yeah.
But if I don't hire them and I'mdoing everything all myself all
the time, am I gonna be stressedout all the time?
(01:01:43):
Yeah. Yeah.
So sometimes I have to be like, OK, well, they're not gonna do
things exactly how I want them to do them.
Sometimes they're not gonna do them how I want them to do them.
And they do a better job, sometimes the worst job, but I
have to be able. To do that, surrender, yeah.
OK, well, that's that's 50. So yeah, we'll we'll just do a
Part 2 for episode one O 1. This is the the longest recap,
(01:02:07):
but I think the recap is actually pretty interesting.
So yeah. Yeah, you're, you're converted
to recaps now. At the beginning of this, we're
like recaps suck. And then you're like.
Echo not the Hollywood version, the.
Ours. Is the John and Nicole version.
I like it. So, yeah.
All right. All right, see you in the next.
Week well, we got to go to betterthanperfectpod.com and you
can actually do your own recap because you can look through all
(01:02:28):
the episodes there and watch them, you know, see how we've
changed and evolved and. I'm like, see you later, come to
the next one. John's like, wait a minute.
We'll see you. We'll see you next week.
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