What if peace came from unmasking?
This milestone 200th episode of Beyond Chronic Burnout is a celebration in every sense—of unmasking, of sustainable energy, of thriving as our whole selves, and of YOU, the listener who’s been on this journey with us.
In this powerful episode, host Carole Jean Whittington shares what’s possible when we let go of performance, push past the myth of the “comfort zone,” and step into the version of ourselves that’s been waiting to exhale. You’ll hear insights from readers of Living Unmasked, stories from the healing journey, and reflections from 200 episodes of exploring what it really means to live without burnout.
PLUS: A behind-the-scenes look at Carole Jean’s new book Living Unmasked, how it’s changing lives, and why this podcast continues to be a sacred space for autistic women and the professionals who support them.
💡 What you'll discover:
The real comfort zone and why it’s your gateway to healing
What unmasking actually looks and feels like
The Optimum Steady State and how it reverses spicy burnout
Why this podcast exists—and what’s coming next
🔗 Get Living Unmasked (Digital + Audio):
https://energize.whittingtonwellbeing.com/products/courses/view/1182513
Thank you for being part of 200 episodes. Here’s to 200 more.
#BeyondChronicBurnout #LivingUnmasked #AutisticWomen #BurnoutRecovery #200EpisodesStrong #NeurodivergentSupport #UnmaskingJourney #SustainableEnergy #EnergyMastery
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Hey there, sparkly humans. I'm Carol Jean Whittington,
Chief well-being officer here atWhittington well-being.
And welcome to Beyond Chronic Burnout, the podcast for those
of us who are done pretending we're fine when we're really
burnt out inside. Today's 200th episode is called
(00:22):
What's Possible When We Unmask, and I want to start us with this
one truth. Unmasking isn't about losing
control, it's about finally reclaiming it.
If you've ever been told you need to get out of your comfort
zone, I invite you to stay with me, because today we're flipping
(00:45):
that on its head. What if your comfort zone wasn't
a limitation, but a portal to power?
This week marks something reallyspecial.
Actually, two really special things.
First, we are officially celebrating 200 episodes of this
(01:06):
podcast. 200 conversations. 200 opportunities to speak to the
real, often invisible layers of burnout that so many of us
carry. 200 chances to honor whatit means to live life on our
terms. When I started the show, I was
(01:28):
just barely out of burnout for the first time in my life and no
longer holding it all together with masking tape and grit.
I didn't know exactly where it would lead, but I did know that
if I had been struggling for decades, there had to be others
too. And I was right.
Because then you showed up with your ears, your hearts, your DMS
(01:54):
and emails, your shares, your stories, and your courage.
To every guest who's joined me and every listener who's pressed
play, thank you. Genuinely, sincerely, and deeply
from my heart, thank you. You've made Beyond chronic
(02:16):
burnout. And now my newest book, Living
Unmasked. What they are a beacon for those
of us navigating invisible exhaustion, a mirror reflecting
our shared humanity, and a map towards sustainable energy that
actually fits our lives. And now, just as we hit this
(02:38):
200th episode milestone, I get to share something else that
feels like the next chapter in this journey.
My new book, Living Unmasked is officially out in the world.
You can get it released just a few days ago on my birthday, May
2nd. This book is a love letter, a
(03:02):
permission slip, and a practicalpath to unmasking not for
performance, but for peace. It's for every autistic woman
and every person who's felt likethey had to choose between
fitting in and staying well. It's for every helping
(03:23):
professional who wants to support healing that lasts.
And it's for you because you've been part of this community
that's made it all possible. Inside the book, I share tools
we've explored here like the energy body appraisal, the
optimum steady state, the spicy pepper scale.
(03:44):
But I take them even deeper in Living Unmasked.
So whether this is your first episode or your 200th, I want
you to know this space was made for you.
This journey is for all of us who are ready to stop pretending
(04:04):
we're fine when we're really burned out inside and instead
begin living unmasked and in ourcomfort zone.
So here's to 200 episodes to thebook release and to this what's
possible when we create spaces that are brave enough to be
(04:26):
real. Thank you for being part of this
moment with me. OK, let's play and let's get
started unmasking with today's 200th episode.
Let's get started step. Out of the shadows, feel the
power will rise. Catch the spark inside you.
(04:47):
Let your spirit fly. Be on the chronic burner.
Carol Jeans your guy. Find your step near real nice.
Joy on the Tide stories for withbright and bold leave the burner
far behind in this journey hearts unfold How is your sea
(05:12):
can find. Let's talk about the myth that
autistic people, especially autistic women, need to keep
pushing themselves out of their comfort zones to grow, succeed,
(05:34):
and be accepted. Here's the truth.
For many of us, masking becomes the comfort zone.
It's the thing we do to avoid rejection, to stay safe, to be
less of a burden or weird or different, anything that made us
feel other. And it works until it doesn't.
(05:58):
That's how burnout begins. So what does it actually look
like to unmask and move into ourreal comfort zone, the one that
aligns with our energy, our sensory systems, and our way of
being in the world? Now I'm just, let's just get
(06:18):
real because that's what we do around here.
I just want to ask you a quick question.
How long have you been living out of your comfort zone?
Really think about it. Has it been since childhood?
I'll be honest, for the maturityof my life and for the majority
(06:39):
of the clients that I work with,they say the same thing.
I've lived my whole Dang life outside of my comfort zone.
I don't need to get out of my comfort zone.
That has been where I have been my whole life.
I don't know what the heck my comfort zone is.
I need to get into my comfort zone because nothing about being
(07:00):
an autistic person, identified or unidentified, has been
comfortable. It's all been uncomfortable.
My sensory system has paid the price, my well-being is paid the
price, my health has paid the price.
So as we talk more about our comfort zone and as we talk
(07:24):
about what it really means, it'struly about being in alignment.
Because when we're masking, we're out of alignment and that
is costing us everything. Let me tell you about Michelle.
She's a reader of Living Unmasked who shared this with
(07:46):
me. The feeling Chapter 1 evoked in
me was freedom and power. Intentionally pausing the merry
go round to explore who I am without the doing puts me in
charge of my choices. That moment where she felt
herself step out of the endless loop of over performing and into
(08:09):
sovereignty. That's what unmasking can do.
It gives us the ability to choose, not out of fear, but out
of alignment. I've worked with hundreds closer
to thousands of women globally through the Unveiling method,
and I hear this over and over. I thought I had to do more to
(08:35):
get better, but healing came when I started doing less of the
wrong things and more of the right things, the aligned things
on purpose Inside Living Unmasked.
I introduced the Unveiling Methods Road Map to Energy
Mastery as part of our Foundation Builder Phase One.
(08:59):
This isn't A to do list or another productivity system.
It's a reorientation. Instead of pushing through, we
start by getting curious. We use tools like the Energy
Body Appraisal to assess where depletion is happening in our
seven energy systems from the root all the way to the crown.
(09:23):
This helps us stop trying to fixeverything at once and instead
gently experiment with targeted restoration because we're not
just looking at the conscious areas of burnout depletion out
of that 30 basic human needs list.
(09:44):
Because I'll be honest, most of my clients, when they look at
the 30 basic human needs list and they think, OK, this is what
I need to fix to get out of burnout, they automatically go
to the physiological needs, sleeping better, eating
healthier, exercising, you know,drinking more water.
(10:08):
And they feel like that's the place to begin.
Because for most of us, it's theplace we have control and agency
over. It's the thing that's kind of
clear cut and concrete. But I'll tell you, that's not
where I tell people to begin other than making sure you're
hydrated because you got to keepyour brain wet and your cells
(10:30):
hydrated and restored. Other than that, that
physiological list, that's not what's causing your burnout.
And when that becomes our new pattern of, of looking at really
what it is it that's contributing to my well-being
and what's draining my energy, we enter what I call the optimum
(10:51):
steady state when we're focusingon the things that are aligned,
that are energizing us, that pour in and nourish us, not
those physiological things like,yes, we do need good sleep.
And that's the first thing burnout disrupts and it's the
last thing to restore. I, I hate to tell you and I know
you hate to hear it, especially if you're struggling to have a
(11:14):
decent night's sleep right now. But there's also so many other
things that when you start strategically approaching
burnout, restoration in alignment from that unconscious
place of what's draining your energy and you begin to move
into that optimum steady state, that is where well-being begins.
(11:40):
So what is the optimum steady state you may be asking,
especially if you're new here. Hi, welcome.
An optimum steady state is a sustainable state of harmony
where your mental, physical, emotional and sensory systems
operate efficiently without burnout.
(12:00):
It's not about achieving perfectbalance, it's about creating a
way of being where your systems work with you, not against you.
It's the opposite of spicy burnout, which if you've read
the book you'll know is what I call that level 1 poblano pepper
(12:21):
up to that level 5 ghost pepper level of constant overload and
energy drain. Most of my clients go from a
level 5 ghost pepper in a high degree of heat to a jalapeno
level 2 in an average of only eight months.
That is like moving into a wholenew fishbowl.
(12:42):
And compared to the typical recovery time of 1 to 2 1/2
years, that eight months, that'spowerful.
For those of us who are time blind, it's really powerful
because it feels like a blink ofan eye.
That's the power of alignment and that's the possibility when
(13:02):
living unmasked for so many of us, We're constantly seeking
that work life balance. And let's think about this for a
minute. If we think about balance, I
mean, let's just put it in mathematical equation standards,
right? We have two things on either
side of an equal sign when we'retrying to balance something.
(13:24):
So just if you're a visual thinker or if you just you don't
visualize, but you sense things,you can sense this.
So we have an equal sign in the middle and we've got 2 opposite
ends on either side of that. That equality, if we're trying
to balance it, then we're expending A tremendous amount of
(13:44):
thought energy trying to constantly calculate what we're
adding and subtracting to eitherside of that equation.
Be it our work life, our home life, our health, you know, our
kids, all of those things. And that's exhausting when we're
(14:06):
talking about alignment through the place of an optimum steady
state. We're not talking about balance
because that's costing you energy.
OK, I'm just going to be real with you.
That's a load of crap somebody tried to sell you.
Balance is not the answer. I will say what I have found is
(14:27):
the solution that is more sustainable, especially for us,
is harmony. If you think about an orchestra,
you think about a choir, you think about, you know, your
favorite band when all the instruments they're playing
different notes, they're maybe in different times, right?
(14:50):
You know, different rhythm there.
But it, it all comes together inharmony.
There's a resonance that's that vibration where everything feels
amazing, where everything soundsreally good.
That is harmony. That's what's possible.
(15:11):
And it's not about constantly calculating, adding and
subtracting on either side. It's that things can be out of
balance, but they're still in harmony.
And that's what we're talking about when we're talking about
how an optimum steady state really feels.
It's about all of those elements, the mental, the
(15:34):
physical, the emotional, your sensory system operating
efficiently in harmony without burning you out and being able
to take the things that change in our life.
Because life is going to life. You're not going to live without
stress coming in. That's just part of life because
(15:55):
there's also positive forms of stress.
There's it's called Eustress. EUSTRESSI know it's a really
weird name, but that's what we call it.
Positive stress is Eustress. So let's talk about what
meditation taught me about unmasking because that's the
optimum steady state. We're talking about harmony.
What are some things that we do in our life to get into that
(16:18):
space of an optimum steady state?
Now, before you just totally check out on me because you're
like, no, meditation is but a hogwash.
I cannot do it. And if you're like me and you're
Audi HD, you're like, I'm not sitting still.
My brain is not slowing down forthat.
Meditation is uncomfortable. It can even be painful.
I will tell you, yes, you're right.
(16:39):
But that's because people have been trying to teach you how to
do it wrong and go against who you are.
So, you know, one of the biggestgame changers in my own journey
has been meditation, but it's been meditation in a different
way. Now, if you've if you're already
rolling your eyes and thinking, yeah, I tried that and my brain
(17:00):
was still spinning and spinning through 37 open tabs and 20
tracks of music. Same like totally.
I get that that was me. It's still me some days.
It took me experimenting with lots of different approaches
from sound based meditations, you know, sound bowls and and
(17:21):
even frequencies like different Hertz music movement
meditations. I'm going to tell you right now,
Kundalini yoga is my favorite goto right now because it's not
just about meditation, but it's about breathing, It's about
moving your body. For me, meditation is not
(17:41):
sitting still and it is not about quieting your brain or
your thoughts. I also found meditation through
breath work, like did breath work.
I can tell you that when I started to learn breath work, I
was blown away because I'm like #1 I didn't realize how often I
hold my breath throughout the day.
I don't do it as much now. I mean, I randomly will catch
(18:03):
myself nowadays, but it's so rare.
But there was a time where on the regular everyday, I was
holding the Dang breath and I didn't even realize that all of
a sudden I'd be concentrating, doing something.
I'd be like, like a fish out of water, like gasping for breath.
You're relating, I, I feel you. And, you know, experimenting
with even different types of silence and, and still so first
(18:29):
of all, I found silence really uncomfortable because my brain
was never still or quiet. I read this fabulous book a few
years ago by Colin O'brady called The 12 Hour Walk and I've
done this twice now. It has been life changing.
(18:51):
It's not about sitting still, itis about turning off your tech.
It is about creating silence in a different way, but it's about
movement as well. So I would go out and I hiked
for 12 hours and I've done this twice now and I've done it in
smaller chunks along the way as well.
(19:14):
It is been life changing becauseit's been about finding my
rhythm and approaching things ina way that maybe other people
don't, you know, finding my meditative rhythm and I didn't
even know I was doing. This was when I started to run
at 42 for the first time. I was like, I'm running unless
somebody's chasing me. I mean, I'm not getting all
(19:34):
sweaty and gross. I mean, I was an athlete.
I played tennis, all kinds of sports, but I wasn't running.
And then, you know, part of my, my healing and well-being and
restoration journey out of burnout.
I don't know, I got this wild idea one day and I was like, I'm
going to run and you all. I started when I could barely
sit up in my bed. OK, so this was like, I'm going
(19:58):
to start running when I could barely even sit up.
But I did. And it was like a slow, gradual
process. But when I learned, and I didn't
even know that this was a meditative practice for me.
That moving my body and the rhythm of my feet on the
pavement. You know, I started on a
treadmill. Now I cannot run on a treadmill.
(20:19):
I hate it. I have to get out and trail run.
But that rhythm that I found in that pace of running that became
this place where all my squirrels slowed down and I
actually recognized along the way, I was like, holy cow, I'm
quiet when I run. I've never been quiet, and it
(20:40):
was a different kind of quiet. It wasn't like I think maybe
what other people described as like meditative quiet, But for
me, it was a slowing down in this place where my brain could
actually grab onto some thoughts.
My body felt more regulated. What's interesting is that for a
lot of us, especially if we havetrauma, if if we've had a lot of
(21:02):
burnouts, so our nervous system is so dysregulated.
It's the rhythm and you know, mybackground is envision science
and stress point learning. It's a one of the beautiful
things is that resonance, that vibration.
The rhythm is how we rewire our brain.
It's how we rewire our nervous system.
(21:26):
So sometimes it's just about finding the flow of movement,
that vibration through your body.
In Living Unmasked, I include the very meditations that helped
me move from chaos to calm and Imade sure they were
neurodivergent, friendly and trauma sensitive.
(21:47):
So use these to explore your ownmeditative experience.
And you don't have to sit still or lie down for them.
You can totally move during these.
It is about finding your practice and not forcing someone
else's. I hope that's been helpful to
you because there can be a wholelot of crap that people tell you
around meditation and I'll just be honest, I discarded a lot of
(22:13):
it. I'm actually a certified trained
meditation instructor and my good friend Kevin Ellerton at
Meditation University has been my teacher has as well as so
many other meditation instructors along the way.
And it's really great to to be able to branch out and try
(22:34):
different types of meditation. And in the Rapper Recharge Lab,
I teach you all these different varieties of meditation because
one might not work for you, you know, 20 May not work for you,
but there's one that hits the sweet spot.
And I'm going to help you discover that and explore it in
20 minutes or less. And I'll be honest, most of
these are 5 minutes or less. I believe in like hit it and
(22:56):
quit it. Like find it quick.
Because when you're burnout or your squirrels are going or you
don't have a ton of energy or bandwidth, you need something
quick and powerful. And that's what the Rapid
Recharge Lab does, which is really amazing and I love it.
So I have an invitation. If you're listening and thinking
this is what I've been needing, then I wrote Living Unmasked for
(23:19):
you. For just 999, you get the full
digital and audio version because at Hyperlexic
Publishing, we believe in accessibility for one price.
Bonus worksheets included, plus meditations and recharging tools
on the book resource page. And you get all of this for one
(23:39):
price. The link to grab your copy of
Living Unmasked is in the show notes and on Whittington
wellbeing.com for less than a Starbucks and a bagel.
Gluten free bagel, right? Oh my gosh, I love it.
So let's circle back to what's possible.
(24:01):
You know, it's those small shifts that give us the big
results I talked about in my first book Unleashing
Sustainable Energy, the Pareto principle of that 8020, right?
It's the results of 20% of what we do gives us that 80% return
on our investment. So when we begin to honor our
(24:22):
energy and live from our comfortzone, here's what becomes
possible. One, you stop dreading mornings
and start waking with clarity. 2, you stop people pleasing and
start boundary honoring. And three, you stop leaking
(24:43):
energy everywhere. You stop being a walking sieve
and you start filling yourself back up.
You start nourishing you, another client shared, and I'd
loved this. I used to believe the only way I
could succeed was if I kept pretending.
(25:04):
Now I realize I succeed because I've stopped pretending.
This is where true well-being lives.
Not in changing who we are, but rediscovering ourselves.
Sometimes discovering ourselves for the first time.
Let me get personal for a moment.
(25:25):
Like I hadn't already been doingthat right?
Unmasking. It didn't make me less capable.
It made me feel safe enough to become more myself.
Yes. Did I feel uncomfortable in the
beginning of the unmasking process?
Absolutely. And are you going to probably
(25:45):
feel uncomfortable in the beginning too?
Absolutely. But it's part of the process,
and just knowing that that uncomfortable is just because
it's something that you've not done before.
We're comfortable in all the things that we've been doing for
a long time. And that can even be the crap
(26:05):
that's hurting us, right? It helped me reclaim my joy.
Unmasking helped me reclaim joy.It reconnected me with play.
It made it possible to actually celebrate my 51st birthday
(26:26):
burnout free. And this was my best birthday
yet. Living unmasked and burnout free
has truly changed my life. I am creating a world that
supports me for the first time in decades, and you can too.
This isn't theory, it's lived truth.
(26:50):
And if you're listening and you're tired of doing it all
alone, come join us in the Invalor community.
Living Unmasked. It's more than a book, It's an
invitation. An invitation to your best life,
your comfort zone. It's a guide, a step by step, a
(27:10):
safe space for you to begin. Not on your own, not trying to
figure it all out and piece it together.
One thing at a time. It's there to support you
holistically with everything youneed to get started.
And it's not a cookie cutter because you're not a cookie
cutter. You're not, you're not like
(27:31):
everybody else, and that's a good thing.
And this book isn't written in away that it's like trying to
help the cookie cutter. This is written for you.
It is adaptable. It meets you where you are, step
by step, in all of your unique elements and sparkly faceted
glory. And if you're a helping
(27:53):
professional joining us today, you're a therapist, a coach, an
educator, A clinician. This is also for you.
Understanding what true self-care and sustainable
healing and well-being looks like for autistic women will
change how you support your clients and your patients.
(28:16):
No more cookie cutter burnout advice please.
No more telling people to just rest, cancel their calendar, do
less because that's not really helping.
If it was, you wouldn't have clients still in burnout.
(28:36):
Living Unmasked offers a neuro inclusive, trauma sensitive
framework rooted in real lived experience, Years of my research
and client results. I don't walk it, I don't talk
it. I live it and I help you do the
(28:58):
same. Share it with your clients.
Better yet, go through it together.
You need this too, as one clientshared about the unveiling
method. I would recommend this to
anyone, neurodivergent or not. It is the lifeguide that
everyone should get. So what is possible?
(29:20):
When we unmask what's possible, we can reclaim our energy.
We rebuild trust in ourselves. We reconnect with joy and peace,
and most of all, we get to feel at home inside our own lives.
(29:44):
Ready to begin? Are you?
Are you ready to begin? Are you ready to begin
unmasking, Living unmasked, stepping into your highest and
best life? Download Living Unmasked for
999@whittingtonwellbeing.com. Share this episode with someone
(30:06):
who needs to know they're not alone.
And remember, you don't have to hustle to heal.
You just have to come home to yourself.
You've been listening to Beyond Chronic Burnout, the talk show
for autistic women and the helping professionals who
support us. I'm Carol Jane Whittington.
(30:27):
I'd be so grateful if you take amoment to subscribe to the show
and leave a five star rating if we've earned it rating the show
helps others find us more easily.
Thank you for being part of the autistic women's well-being
movement where we are getting into our comfort zone and
(30:48):
flourishing. See you next time.
Bye bye. Thanks for being here.
It's. Been quite all right, Energy
mastery. Let's turn the tide.
Top shelf guests dropping wisdombombs.
Join us next week where the energy's strong.
Beyond crying burnout. We're breaking free podcast
(31:12):
pumping full of energy tips and tricks to boost your fight.
Fast pace and fun. You'll feel alive.
Energy mastery. Come along for the ride behind
Beyond Quan. We're on the rise.
Join. Us as we.
(31:33):
Form our top shelf guests. I need.
To energy throughout US.
Hey there, sparkly humans. I'm Carol Jean Whittington,
Chief well-being officer here atWhittington well-being.
And welcome to Beyond Chronic Burnout, the podcast for those
of us who are done pretending we're fine when we're really
burnt out inside. Today's 200th episode is called
(00:22):
What's Possible When We Unmask, and I want to start us with this
one truth. Unmasking isn't about losing
control, it's about finally reclaiming it.
If you've ever been told you need to get out of your comfort
zone, I invite you to stay with me, because today we're flipping
(00:45):
that on its head. What if your comfort zone wasn't
a limitation, but a portal to power?
This week marks something reallyspecial.
Actually, two really special things.
First, we are officially celebrating 200 episodes of this
(01:06):
podcast. 200 conversations. 200 opportunities to speak to the
real, often invisible layers of burnout that so many of us
carry. 200 chances to honor whatit means to live life on our
terms. When I started the show, I was
(01:28):
just barely out of burnout for the first time in my life and no
longer holding it all together with masking tape and grit.
I didn't know exactly where it would lead, but I did know that
if I had been struggling for decades, there had to be others
too. And I was right.
Because then you showed up with your ears, your hearts, your DMS
(01:54):
and emails, your shares, your stories, and your courage.
To every guest who's joined me and every listener who's pressed
play, thank you. Genuinely, sincerely, and deeply
from my heart, thank you. You've made Beyond chronic
(02:16):
burnout. And now my newest book, Living
Unmasked. What they are a beacon for those
of us navigating invisible exhaustion, a mirror reflecting
our shared humanity, and a map towards sustainable energy that
actually fits our lives. And now, just as we hit this
(02:38):
200th episode milestone, I get to share something else that
feels like the next chapter in this journey.
My new book, Living Unmasked is officially out in the world.
You can get it released just a few days ago on my birthday, May
2nd. This book is a love letter, a
(03:02):
permission slip, and a practicalpath to unmasking not for
performance, but for peace. It's for every autistic woman
and every person who's felt likethey had to choose between
fitting in and staying well. It's for every helping
(03:23):
professional who wants to support healing that lasts.
And it's for you because you've been part of this community
that's made it all possible. Inside the book, I share tools
we've explored here like the energy body appraisal, the
optimum steady state, the spicy pepper scale.
(03:44):
But I take them even deeper in Living Unmasked.
So whether this is your first episode or your 200th, I want
you to know this space was made for you.
This journey is for all of us who are ready to stop pretending
(04:04):
we're fine when we're really burned out inside and instead
begin living unmasked and in ourcomfort zone.
So here's to 200 episodes to thebook release and to this what's
possible when we create spaces that are brave enough to be
(04:26):
real. Thank you for being part of this
moment with me. OK, let's play and let's get
started unmasking with today's 200th episode.
Let's get started step. Out of the shadows, feel the
power will rise. Catch the spark inside you.
(04:47):
Let your spirit fly. Be on the chronic burner.
Carol Jeans your guy. Find your step near real nice.
Joy on the Tide stories for withbright and bold leave the burner
far behind in this journey hearts unfold How is your sea
(05:12):
can find. Let's talk about the myth that
autistic people, especially autistic women, need to keep
pushing themselves out of their comfort zones to grow, succeed,
(05:34):
and be accepted. Here's the truth.
For many of us, masking becomes the comfort zone.
It's the thing we do to avoid rejection, to stay safe, to be
less of a burden or weird or different, anything that made us
feel other. And it works until it doesn't.
(05:58):
That's how burnout begins. So what does it actually look
like to unmask and move into ourreal comfort zone, the one that
aligns with our energy, our sensory systems, and our way of
being in the world? Now I'm just, let's just get
(06:18):
real because that's what we do around here.
I just want to ask you a quick question.
How long have you been living out of your comfort zone?
Really think about it. Has it been since childhood?
I'll be honest, for the maturityof my life and for the majority
(06:39):
of the clients that I work with,they say the same thing.
I've lived my whole Dang life outside of my comfort zone.
I don't need to get out of my comfort zone.
That has been where I have been my whole life.
I don't know what the heck my comfort zone is.
I need to get into my comfort zone because nothing about being
(07:00):
an autistic person, identified or unidentified, has been
comfortable. It's all been uncomfortable.
My sensory system has paid the price, my well-being is paid the
price, my health has paid the price.
So as we talk more about our comfort zone and as we talk
(07:24):
about what it really means, it'struly about being in alignment.
Because when we're masking, we're out of alignment and that
is costing us everything. Let me tell you about Michelle.
She's a reader of Living Unmasked who shared this with
(07:46):
me. The feeling Chapter 1 evoked in
me was freedom and power. Intentionally pausing the merry
go round to explore who I am without the doing puts me in
charge of my choices. That moment where she felt
herself step out of the endless loop of over performing and into
(08:09):
sovereignty. That's what unmasking can do.
It gives us the ability to choose, not out of fear, but out
of alignment. I've worked with hundreds closer
to thousands of women globally through the Unveiling method,
and I hear this over and over. I thought I had to do more to
(08:35):
get better, but healing came when I started doing less of the
wrong things and more of the right things, the aligned things
on purpose Inside Living Unmasked.
I introduced the Unveiling Methods Road Map to Energy
Mastery as part of our Foundation Builder Phase One.
(08:59):
This isn't A to do list or another productivity system.
It's a reorientation. Instead of pushing through, we
start by getting curious. We use tools like the Energy
Body Appraisal to assess where depletion is happening in our
seven energy systems from the root all the way to the crown.
(09:23):
This helps us stop trying to fixeverything at once and instead
gently experiment with targeted restoration because we're not
just looking at the conscious areas of burnout depletion out
of that 30 basic human needs list.
(09:44):
Because I'll be honest, most of my clients, when they look at
the 30 basic human needs list and they think, OK, this is what
I need to fix to get out of burnout, they automatically go
to the physiological needs, sleeping better, eating
healthier, exercising, you know,drinking more water.
(10:08):
And they feel like that's the place to begin.
Because for most of us, it's theplace we have control and agency
over. It's the thing that's kind of
clear cut and concrete. But I'll tell you, that's not
where I tell people to begin other than making sure you're
hydrated because you got to keepyour brain wet and your cells
(10:30):
hydrated and restored. Other than that, that
physiological list, that's not what's causing your burnout.
And when that becomes our new pattern of, of looking at really
what it is it that's contributing to my well-being
and what's draining my energy, we enter what I call the optimum
(10:51):
steady state when we're focusingon the things that are aligned,
that are energizing us, that pour in and nourish us, not
those physiological things like,yes, we do need good sleep.
And that's the first thing burnout disrupts and it's the
last thing to restore. I, I hate to tell you and I know
you hate to hear it, especially if you're struggling to have a
(11:14):
decent night's sleep right now. But there's also so many other
things that when you start strategically approaching
burnout, restoration in alignment from that unconscious
place of what's draining your energy and you begin to move
into that optimum steady state, that is where well-being begins.
(11:40):
So what is the optimum steady state you may be asking,
especially if you're new here. Hi, welcome.
An optimum steady state is a sustainable state of harmony
where your mental, physical, emotional and sensory systems
operate efficiently without burnout.
(12:00):
It's not about achieving perfectbalance, it's about creating a
way of being where your systems work with you, not against you.
It's the opposite of spicy burnout, which if you've read
the book you'll know is what I call that level 1 poblano pepper
(12:21):
up to that level 5 ghost pepper level of constant overload and
energy drain. Most of my clients go from a
level 5 ghost pepper in a high degree of heat to a jalapeno
level 2 in an average of only eight months.
That is like moving into a wholenew fishbowl.
(12:42):
And compared to the typical recovery time of 1 to 2 1/2
years, that eight months, that'spowerful.
For those of us who are time blind, it's really powerful
because it feels like a blink ofan eye.
That's the power of alignment and that's the possibility when
(13:02):
living unmasked for so many of us, We're constantly seeking
that work life balance. And let's think about this for a
minute. If we think about balance, I
mean, let's just put it in mathematical equation standards,
right? We have two things on either
side of an equal sign when we'retrying to balance something.
(13:24):
So just if you're a visual thinker or if you just you don't
visualize, but you sense things,you can sense this.
So we have an equal sign in the middle and we've got 2 opposite
ends on either side of that. That equality, if we're trying
to balance it, then we're expending A tremendous amount of
(13:44):
thought energy trying to constantly calculate what we're
adding and subtracting to eitherside of that equation.
Be it our work life, our home life, our health, you know, our
kids, all of those things. And that's exhausting when we're
(14:06):
talking about alignment through the place of an optimum steady
state. We're not talking about balance
because that's costing you energy.
OK, I'm just going to be real with you.
That's a load of crap somebody tried to sell you.
Balance is not the answer. I will say what I have found is
(14:27):
the solution that is more sustainable, especially for us,
is harmony. If you think about an orchestra,
you think about a choir, you think about, you know, your
favorite band when all the instruments they're playing
different notes, they're maybe in different times, right?
(14:50):
You know, different rhythm there.
But it, it all comes together inharmony.
There's a resonance that's that vibration where everything feels
amazing, where everything soundsreally good.
That is harmony. That's what's possible.
(15:11):
And it's not about constantly calculating, adding and
subtracting on either side. It's that things can be out of
balance, but they're still in harmony.
And that's what we're talking about when we're talking about
how an optimum steady state really feels.
It's about all of those elements, the mental, the
(15:34):
physical, the emotional, your sensory system operating
efficiently in harmony without burning you out and being able
to take the things that change in our life.
Because life is going to life. You're not going to live without
stress coming in. That's just part of life because
(15:55):
there's also positive forms of stress.
There's it's called Eustress. EUSTRESSI know it's a really
weird name, but that's what we call it.
Positive stress is Eustress. So let's talk about what
meditation taught me about unmasking because that's the
optimum steady state. We're talking about harmony.
What are some things that we do in our life to get into that
(16:18):
space of an optimum steady state?
Now, before you just totally check out on me because you're
like, no, meditation is but a hogwash.
I cannot do it. And if you're like me and you're
Audi HD, you're like, I'm not sitting still.
My brain is not slowing down forthat.
Meditation is uncomfortable. It can even be painful.
I will tell you, yes, you're right.
(16:39):
But that's because people have been trying to teach you how to
do it wrong and go against who you are.
So, you know, one of the biggestgame changers in my own journey
has been meditation, but it's been meditation in a different
way. Now, if you've if you're already
rolling your eyes and thinking, yeah, I tried that and my brain
(17:00):
was still spinning and spinning through 37 open tabs and 20
tracks of music. Same like totally.
I get that that was me. It's still me some days.
It took me experimenting with lots of different approaches
from sound based meditations, you know, sound bowls and and
(17:21):
even frequencies like different Hertz music movement
meditations. I'm going to tell you right now,
Kundalini yoga is my favorite goto right now because it's not
just about meditation, but it's about breathing, It's about
moving your body. For me, meditation is not
(17:41):
sitting still and it is not about quieting your brain or
your thoughts. I also found meditation through
breath work, like did breath work.
I can tell you that when I started to learn breath work, I
was blown away because I'm like #1 I didn't realize how often I
hold my breath throughout the day.
I don't do it as much now. I mean, I randomly will catch
(18:03):
myself nowadays, but it's so rare.
But there was a time where on the regular everyday, I was
holding the Dang breath and I didn't even realize that all of
a sudden I'd be concentrating, doing something.
I'd be like, like a fish out of water, like gasping for breath.
You're relating, I, I feel you. And, you know, experimenting
with even different types of silence and, and still so first
(18:29):
of all, I found silence really uncomfortable because my brain
was never still or quiet. I read this fabulous book a few
years ago by Colin O'brady called The 12 Hour Walk and I've
done this twice now. It has been life changing.
(18:51):
It's not about sitting still, itis about turning off your tech.
It is about creating silence in a different way, but it's about
movement as well. So I would go out and I hiked
for 12 hours and I've done this twice now and I've done it in
smaller chunks along the way as well.
(19:14):
It is been life changing becauseit's been about finding my
rhythm and approaching things ina way that maybe other people
don't, you know, finding my meditative rhythm and I didn't
even know I was doing. This was when I started to run
at 42 for the first time. I was like, I'm running unless
somebody's chasing me. I mean, I'm not getting all
(19:34):
sweaty and gross. I mean, I was an athlete.
I played tennis, all kinds of sports, but I wasn't running.
And then, you know, part of my, my healing and well-being and
restoration journey out of burnout.
I don't know, I got this wild idea one day and I was like, I'm
going to run and you all. I started when I could barely
sit up in my bed. OK, so this was like, I'm going
(19:58):
to start running when I could barely even sit up.
But I did. And it was like a slow, gradual
process. But when I learned, and I didn't
even know that this was a meditative practice for me.
That moving my body and the rhythm of my feet on the
pavement. You know, I started on a
treadmill. Now I cannot run on a treadmill.
(20:19):
I hate it. I have to get out and trail run.
But that rhythm that I found in that pace of running that became
this place where all my squirrels slowed down and I
actually recognized along the way, I was like, holy cow, I'm
quiet when I run. I've never been quiet, and it
(20:40):
was a different kind of quiet. It wasn't like I think maybe
what other people described as like meditative quiet, But for
me, it was a slowing down in this place where my brain could
actually grab onto some thoughts.
My body felt more regulated. What's interesting is that for a
lot of us, especially if we havetrauma, if if we've had a lot of
(21:02):
burnouts, so our nervous system is so dysregulated.
It's the rhythm and you know, mybackground is envision science
and stress point learning. It's a one of the beautiful
things is that resonance, that vibration.
The rhythm is how we rewire our brain.
It's how we rewire our nervous system.
(21:26):
So sometimes it's just about finding the flow of movement,
that vibration through your body.
In Living Unmasked, I include the very meditations that helped
me move from chaos to calm and Imade sure they were
neurodivergent, friendly and trauma sensitive.
(21:47):
So use these to explore your ownmeditative experience.
And you don't have to sit still or lie down for them.
You can totally move during these.
It is about finding your practice and not forcing someone
else's. I hope that's been helpful to
you because there can be a wholelot of crap that people tell you
around meditation and I'll just be honest, I discarded a lot of
(22:13):
it. I'm actually a certified trained
meditation instructor and my good friend Kevin Ellerton at
Meditation University has been my teacher has as well as so
many other meditation instructors along the way.
And it's really great to to be able to branch out and try
(22:34):
different types of meditation. And in the Rapper Recharge Lab,
I teach you all these different varieties of meditation because
one might not work for you, you know, 20 May not work for you,
but there's one that hits the sweet spot.
And I'm going to help you discover that and explore it in
20 minutes or less. And I'll be honest, most of
these are 5 minutes or less. I believe in like hit it and
(22:56):
quit it. Like find it quick.
Because when you're burnout or your squirrels are going or you
don't have a ton of energy or bandwidth, you need something
quick and powerful. And that's what the Rapid
Recharge Lab does, which is really amazing and I love it.
So I have an invitation. If you're listening and thinking
this is what I've been needing, then I wrote Living Unmasked for
(23:19):
you. For just 999, you get the full
digital and audio version because at Hyperlexic
Publishing, we believe in accessibility for one price.
Bonus worksheets included, plus meditations and recharging tools
on the book resource page. And you get all of this for one
(23:39):
price. The link to grab your copy of
Living Unmasked is in the show notes and on Whittington
wellbeing.com for less than a Starbucks and a bagel.
Gluten free bagel, right? Oh my gosh, I love it.
So let's circle back to what's possible.
(24:01):
You know, it's those small shifts that give us the big
results I talked about in my first book Unleashing
Sustainable Energy, the Pareto principle of that 8020, right?
It's the results of 20% of what we do gives us that 80% return
on our investment. So when we begin to honor our
(24:22):
energy and live from our comfortzone, here's what becomes
possible. One, you stop dreading mornings
and start waking with clarity. 2, you stop people pleasing and
start boundary honoring. And three, you stop leaking
(24:43):
energy everywhere. You stop being a walking sieve
and you start filling yourself back up.
You start nourishing you, another client shared, and I'd
loved this. I used to believe the only way I
could succeed was if I kept pretending.
(25:04):
Now I realize I succeed because I've stopped pretending.
This is where true well-being lives.
Not in changing who we are, but rediscovering ourselves.
Sometimes discovering ourselves for the first time.
Let me get personal for a moment.
(25:25):
Like I hadn't already been doingthat right?
Unmasking. It didn't make me less capable.
It made me feel safe enough to become more myself.
Yes. Did I feel uncomfortable in the
beginning of the unmasking process?
Absolutely. And are you going to probably
(25:45):
feel uncomfortable in the beginning too?
Absolutely. But it's part of the process,
and just knowing that that uncomfortable is just because
it's something that you've not done before.
We're comfortable in all the things that we've been doing for
a long time. And that can even be the crap
(26:05):
that's hurting us, right? It helped me reclaim my joy.
Unmasking helped me reclaim joy.It reconnected me with play.
It made it possible to actually celebrate my 51st birthday
(26:26):
burnout free. And this was my best birthday
yet. Living unmasked and burnout free
has truly changed my life. I am creating a world that
supports me for the first time in decades, and you can too.
This isn't theory, it's lived truth.
(26:50):
And if you're listening and you're tired of doing it all
alone, come join us in the Invalor community.
Living Unmasked. It's more than a book, It's an
invitation. An invitation to your best life,
your comfort zone. It's a guide, a step by step, a
(27:10):
safe space for you to begin. Not on your own, not trying to
figure it all out and piece it together.
One thing at a time. It's there to support you
holistically with everything youneed to get started.
And it's not a cookie cutter because you're not a cookie
cutter. You're not, you're not like
(27:31):
everybody else, and that's a good thing.
And this book isn't written in away that it's like trying to
help the cookie cutter. This is written for you.
It is adaptable. It meets you where you are, step
by step, in all of your unique elements and sparkly faceted
glory. And if you're a helping
(27:53):
professional joining us today, you're a therapist, a coach, an
educator, A clinician. This is also for you.
Understanding what true self-care and sustainable
healing and well-being looks like for autistic women will
change how you support your clients and your patients.
(28:16):
No more cookie cutter burnout advice please.
No more telling people to just rest, cancel their calendar, do
less because that's not really helping.
If it was, you wouldn't have clients still in burnout.
(28:36):
Living Unmasked offers a neuro inclusive, trauma sensitive
framework rooted in real lived experience, Years of my research
and client results. I don't walk it, I don't talk
it. I live it and I help you do the
(28:58):
same. Share it with your clients.
Better yet, go through it together.
You need this too, as one clientshared about the unveiling
method. I would recommend this to
anyone, neurodivergent or not. It is the lifeguide that
everyone should get. So what is possible?
(29:20):
When we unmask what's possible, we can reclaim our energy.
We rebuild trust in ourselves. We reconnect with joy and peace,
and most of all, we get to feel at home inside our own lives.
(29:44):
Ready to begin? Are you?
Are you ready to begin? Are you ready to begin
unmasking, Living unmasked, stepping into your highest and
best life? Download Living Unmasked for
999@whittingtonwellbeing.com. Share this episode with someone
(30:06):
who needs to know they're not alone.
And remember, you don't have to hustle to heal.
You just have to come home to yourself.
You've been listening to Beyond Chronic Burnout, the talk show
for autistic women and the helping professionals who
support us. I'm Carol Jane Whittington.
(30:27):
I'd be so grateful if you take amoment to subscribe to the show
and leave a five star rating if we've earned it rating the show
helps others find us more easily.
Thank you for being part of the autistic women's well-being
movement where we are getting into our comfort zone and
(30:48):
flourishing. See you next time.
Bye bye. Thanks for being here.
It's. Been quite all right, Energy
mastery. Let's turn the tide.
Top shelf guests dropping wisdombombs.
Join us next week where the energy's strong.
Beyond crying burnout. We're breaking free podcast
(31:12):
pumping full of energy tips and tricks to boost your fight.
Fast pace and fun. You'll feel alive.
Energy mastery. Come along for the ride behind
Beyond Quan. We're on the rise.
Join. Us as we.
(31:33):
Form our top shelf guests. I need.
To energy throughout US.
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