Episode 25: The More I Heal, the More I Uncover

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After over 300 days of sobriety, Sean and Dayne reflect on the emotional challenges they still face. While their addiction recovery has brought progress, the journey is far from over. In this episode, they explore how their health and healing are interconnected and why the more they heal, the more they uncover areas that still need attention.

What's Still Bothering Us After 300 Days of Sobriety?

"I still deal with issues of self-esteem and measuring my worth and value."

Even with the progress made in recovery, old struggles don’t simply disappear. Both hosts discuss the persistent challenges they face around self-worth, especially when life outside of recovery—like career challenges—brings stress that can trigger old patterns.

Stress, Life Challenges, and Addiction Triggers

Life doesn’t stop, and neither do the stresses that can push them toward old habits. Dayne opens up about how career challenges and life rejections can feel like affirmations of his failures, causing his brain to make unhealthy connections between those experiences and his ability to maintain sobriety.

"When I get declined for a job interview, does it say something about my worth? Does it trigger my brain to think of myself as a failure?"
“Am I even good enough to receive the grace I’m being given?”

Insecurity and the Impact on Sobriety

"Anything that triggers my insecurities can challenge my sobriety."

Even though some insecurities may not be directly related to their addiction, their minds can still make harmful correlations. They discuss how insecurity, even in areas unrelated to addiction, can bring about dangerous thoughts that threaten their recovery.

"Long-term sobriety has helped me start to separate my emotional pain from my old acting-out patterns."
"Life challenges and high emotional pain can still trigger me, but now I can see them more proactively."
"Watching porn and masturbation is no longer a normal way of managing pain for me."
"It really grosses me out and makes me angry that I used porn and masturbation for so long to manage my emotions."

The Ongoing Battle: Recognizing Patterns and Growth

"I love that you’re noticing emotional patterns in your life more proactively."
"Am I taking anger from my past addiction and unleashing it on other parts of my life?"

Despite the progress, Sean recognizes that recovery is a long-term process. 

"I can’t overcome years of issues in just one year."
"The addict Sean took over my life for so long. Now that the addict isn’t in the driver’s seat, other parts of my personality are being heard and expressing their issues."

Sobriety and the Root Cause: The Necessary First Step

Sean emphasizes that sobriety was essential to uncovering the root causes of his addiction and emotional struggles.

"Sobriety and finding the root cause is not a chicken-and-egg problem for me."

He explains that he needed sobriety first to begin addressing the underlying issues—issues that had been buried for years.

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