April 11, 2024 • 18 mins
Eight years can feel like a lifetime in church leadership, and in that span, I've witnessed triumphs and heartaches that have both tested and reinforced my faith. As I celebrate this significant milestone as lead pastor at South Shore Community Church, I'm eager to share the eight most impactful lessons I've picked up along the way. From the irreplaceable value of the Word of God in our ministry to the sheer joy of witnessing transformations during baptism Sundays, this journey has been nothing short of extraordinary. But it's not just about the successes; it's also about confronting the realities of addiction and loss within our community—stories that remind us why our mission is so vital.
In our time together, we've learned that church is more than an institution; it's a family that endures through the brightest and darkest moments. As we navigate societal pressures and support marriages in crisis, our commitment to fostering stronger relationships with God and each other has never wavered. This episode is a heartfelt invitation to celebrate the transformative power of faith, the resilience of our church family, and the hope that compels us to persevere. Join me as we reaffirm our dedication to uplifting each other and embracing the unity that bolsters our global Christian family.
In our time together, we've learned that church is more than an institution; it's a family that endures through the brightest and darkest moments. As we navigate societal pressures and support marriages in crisis, our commitment to fostering stronger relationships with God and each other has never wavered. This episode is a heartfelt invitation to celebrate the transformative power of faith, the resilience of our church family, and the hope that compels us to persevere. Join me as we reaffirm our dedication to uplifting each other and embracing the unity that bolsters our global Christian family.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey podcast world.
Well, today is a bonus episode,if you will.
Today is my eight-yearanniversary as the lead pastor
here at South Shore CommunityChurch, and to celebrate that, I
wanted to talk about eightlessons that I've learned in the
last eight years.
If you're a regular listener,you'll notice that today's
message will be a little bitlonger as I dive into those
things, and so I'm asking you tostick around.
In fact, stick around to theend.
(00:21):
At the very end.
I want to share an update onwhat God is doing in my life and
some new things coming out ofmy world.
After the eighth thing I'llshare today, we'll share that.
But eight years ago today, april11th, I became the lead pastor
of South Shore Community Church.
If you don't know how I gothere, let me tell that story
quickly.
I was a part of another localchurch here in our community and
(00:44):
there was a theological shiftaway from the Bible and it was
heartbreaking and I learnedabout that shift on a Sunday
night and all that week I kindof processed it and by Saturday
I had resigned.
I had a family to provide for,I had bills, a mortgage, two
kids, a wife that workedpart-time, but there are some
things that are just bigger, andso I knew I needed to stand up
(01:06):
for the church and for the Wordof God and so I resigned and I
processed a lot of grief and alot of sadness through that.
Thankfully, about three monthsbefore that, I had been
introduced to a guy by the nameof Brian Yost and an
organization called City Commit.
It's actually one of ourministry partners here in
Sarasota and I'm actually goingto spend the day today with them
(01:28):
.
They have an event this morningfor breakfast and lunch and as
I got introduced to them aboutthree months before that hard
day in my life, I didn't knowwhy I was attending that group.
It was a once-a-month lunch andfast forward to that day that I
resigned my job on a Saturday,monday I started a new job
(01:50):
laying irrigation with a friendand Wednesday I attended that
group again and was able toshare kind of my heartache and
what was going on and got a lotof support through that group
and it was an incredible timeand honestly, that group Brian
in particular is what led me toSouth Shore.
God used them to open some doorshere and a couple months later
(02:10):
I was on staff and overwhelmedin a new, positive reason, but
I've learned a couple thingsover the years and so let me
just jump into that this morning.
The first is this that the Wordof God matters but it doesn't
matter to everyone and, like Isaid, some of these things are
going to be positive, some ofthem a little negative, some of
(02:31):
them both, and this is one ofthose.
Both the Word of God is soimportant, but not every church
views it that way, and that hasbeen one of the biggest
heartbreaks I think that I'veexperienced in my tenure in
ministry, especially over thelast eight years.
I think that I've experiencedin my tenure in ministry,
especially over the last eightyears.
Obviously, this was catalyzedout of that one church that I
(02:53):
was a part of, but as I began tolook around at the nation and
churches and listen to messages,I realized that a lot of
churches and pastors are moreconcerned with growth and
finances and making people feelcomfortable rather than
preaching the Word of God, andso this became a bigger passion
for me than it had already been,and not that I didn't preach
the Word of God before that, butit just became such a burden.
(03:16):
And I'm not cutting down onthose churches that want to
accept everybody.
But let me say it this way I'vegot two kids, 12 and 13 years
old, and we're at an interestingage to where they're molding
into the adults that they're oneday going to be.
And sometimes Lori and I lookat them and we realize some of
the habits they have and some ofthe ways they act are not going
to do well for them in life.
(03:37):
And if I just wanted to acceptthem, I would ignore those
things and say, well, I justwant them to feel loved and so
I'm not going to correct them, Ithem.
I would ignore those things andsay, well, I just want them to
feel loved and so I'm not goingto correct them, I'm not going
to help them.
There will be consequences downthe road.
Their life's not going to beall that it could be, but right
now, in this moment, I want themto feel loved, and so I could
ignore what they're doing andtheir habits and their hurts and
their hangups and theirattitudes.
(03:59):
But instead, lori and I we hadthis conversation last night.
Instead, lori and I, we hadthis conversation last night
We've got to stop and helpcorrect them.
We've got to get them to aplace that they're living out
their best life for God so thattheir future is set up for
success, that they become thepeople that God wants them to be
.
And so I think, when it comesto the church, you and I have to
(04:23):
do the same.
And so I think, when it comesto the church, you and I have to
do the same.
While the Word of God and Jesusis love, right, there's also a
lot of calls to obedience in theway you and I are to live, and
so it matters how you and Ipreach the gospel.
The second thing I've learned inthe last eight years is you've
got to learn to celebrate.
Anything worth doing is worthcelebrating, and I think we've
gotten this right at South Shore.
(04:44):
Sometimes we celebrate a lot ofthings.
One in particular is baptisms.
Baptism Sunday happens to beone of my favorite, and it's my
favorite because the heart ofthe church is celebratory.
When people come out of thatwater, I love it.
The church stands up and theyhoot and they holler and they
clap and they celebrate.
It's not just a sit and watchexperience, it is man.
(05:06):
I truly see life change, and soI think you and I, and all
things in life, have to learn tocelebrate the big things, the
little things, the wins.
Anything worth doing is worthcelebrating Now.
Number three let me say it thisway Anything worth doing is
going to take some work.
Number four I think some of thelessons I've learned have been
(05:26):
around adaptability andresilience.
Over eight years, I've faced alot of challenges, some of those
just growth challenges andnatural fun things that are
still challenges, but some ofthem harder moments, and I think
sometimes, like anybody else, Idon't love change, but this
idea of being resilient isn'tfound in the Christian life very
well.
We are more known for beingdefeated and discouraged than we
(05:51):
are for being resilient in themoment.
I think for me, staff changeshave been a hard thing, as some
staff have come and gone overthe years.
I'll never forget the firststaff member that left, and they
left for good reasons.
It still was heartbreaking tome because I wasn't ready for it
.
I wasn't prepared for it.
I think the other kind of bigrock, if you will, that hit me
(06:14):
hard was construction.
We did a construction projecthere back in 2019, and I was not
prepared for how manyroadblocks were going to come
along that path.
I'm a very black and whiteperson when it comes to.
If you're going to do somethingyou tell me, I'm just going to
believe you.
And when things shiftconsistently and constantly,
it's harder for me to adapt, andso that's been one of those
(06:37):
learning lessons for me is, withall the changes that come and
go, how do I become moreresilient?
Number five you've heard thisphrase before hurt people hurt
people, right, and I think thatis a surprising thing in the
church for a lot of people.
A lot of people think when youcome to church, everybody's
going to get along andeverybody's going to be happy.
But truth is hurt people hurtpeople, and not everybody
(07:01):
understands that, and so whatI've found throughout eight
years of being here is there arealways going to be someone that
doesn't love you, and the onesthat don't love you are usually
the most vocal.
They're the ones that are goingto share their opinions.
There could be a thousandpeople in the room and don't
love you are usually the mostvocal, they're the ones that are
going to share their opinions.
There could be a thousandpeople in the room and everybody
says you are amazing and welove you, and one person says
(07:24):
man, I don't like you.
And what are you and I going toruminate on that one person.
We'll spend the rest of the daythinking man, why don't they
like me?
What did I do?
How can I be better me?
What did I do?
How can I be better?
And instead of allowing thatand so let me say it like this,
not everybody's opinion mattersDon't let the minority be the
majority in your mind.
(07:47):
Number six, probably one that Iwrestle with the most, and I'm
processing this a lot right nowis church.
Family doesn't really meanfamily to many people.
I am always blown away by theamount of people at South Shore
that have been here for 30 years, and let me be real honest with
you over 30 years, south Shorehas hurt a lot of people, not
(08:09):
intentionally, but there's beenseasons where ministry has been
great and there's been seasonswhere ministry has been hard,
and in those hard seasons peopleget hurt, and so I'm always
blown away, encouraged andshocked by the people that have
stuck it out, that have said no,this is my church family, this
is where God's called me to.
I think in American church,american culture, we are quick
(08:31):
to jump ship and find somethingthat's not as confrontational.
That just feels easier.
In fact, I had a pastorrecently say to me hey, I think
I pastor some of your people andyou pastor some of my people,
and he laughed and I laughed andthen I thought, man, that's the
saddest statement I think I'veever heard.
Man, we are called to carryeach other's burdens, but a lot
(08:53):
of people, especially in theAmerican church, when the
burdens get tough, people liketo jump and go somewhere else.
Number seven another hardlesson I've learned is you can't
save everybody.
What I mean by that?
We've got Celebrate Recoveryhere on Sunday nights, and if
you don't know what CelebrateRecovery is, it's out of
Saddleback, out of California,and it's designed for people
(09:15):
with hurts, habits and hangups,and I think that defines all of
us right.
We all have those hurts, habitsand hangups in life.
Just some of us are willing toadmit it and some of us aren't.
And so we have a CR programthat meets here on Sunday nights
and they use our facility andthey're an incredible group.
They'll run 150 to 200 peopleon Sunday nights and I love
going to CR because people don'twear masks.
(09:37):
And what do I mean by that?
They are just real.
If you ask them how they'redoing, they're going to tell you
exactly how they're doing,whether you want to hear it or
not.
If you ask the question,they're going to assume you want
to know, and I love therealness and the rawness of it.
But I wasn't prepared for CR.
Early on, I began to get to knowsome of the guys and celebrate
(09:58):
their wins with them.
A guy in particular, a guynamed Taylor, and I'll never
forget.
When Taylor passed away, hisaddiction got the better of him.
He had just had a new baby.
It was around Christmas timeand I was sitting here at church
in my office, like I am rightnow, and I was preparing the
message and I took a break.
And I took a break and I openedup Facebook and there was a
(10:18):
post by a friend of mine thatsaid rest in peace, Taylor.
And I thought you gotta bekidding me.
Like I know this guy, like Ijust talked to this guy, and so
it didn't hit me that this wasreal.
I just thought, man, they'vegot to have their information
wrong.
And so I got my phone out.
I began to blow up Taylor'sphone, I texted him, I called
him, I called his fiance and wasjust getting nobody.
(10:40):
So I got in my car unpreparedfor Sunday and drove to Taylor's
house and beat on the doortrying to just get some answers.
Eventually I could not findanybody, so I made my way back
to the office and about thattime I got a message from his
fiance that let me know it wastrue that he had passed away,
and I mourned that death morethan I think I had time to.
(11:03):
It took me a while to processthat Another guy by the name of
Scott passed away about twoweeks ago.
As of this recording and I'mstill processing that, scott was
one of those guys that had anincredible personality.
He was the guy that if hewalked in the room, you loved
Scott, you wanted to be aroundScott.
He was larger than life andI'll never forget when he
disappeared.
For a while we hadn't seen himand I was driving down Tamiami
(11:27):
Trail and I saw a guy walkingdown Tamiami Trail that looked
vaguely like Scott, but like 100pounds thinner and sickly.
Vaguely like Scott, but like ahundred pounds thinner and
sickly.
And so I did a U-turn in my carand drove back and pulled into
the McDonald's parking lot and,sure enough, it was Scott and he
had been on a heroin bender.
And I bought him lunch that dayand sat and talked with him and
(11:49):
encouraged him and about sixmonths later he was in a healthy
place again, and that'sprobably been two or three years
ago, maybe four years ago as ofthis recording but he was doing
great and and, honestly, Italked to him maybe two months
ago and haven't talked to himsince, and then I got word the
other day that he passed awayand my heart grieves every
moment.
You can't save everyone, so whatdoes that mean?
(12:11):
Does that mean you give up?
Does that mean you just stoptrying?
No, I think you move to thenext person.
I think every Taylor and everyScott should invigorate you and
I to further help the nextperson, invigorate you and I to
further help the next person.
The last thing, number eight,that I'll share is I believe
there is an attack onChristianity like has never been
(12:31):
, and I see it in a lot of areas, and the one that I've seen it
the most, and the one that'sconcerning me the most, is in
marriages.
There's not a week, sometimesnot a day, that goes by that we
don't get phone calls and textmessages here at the church
about marriages falling apart,and usually by the time they
reach out to us, it's too late,and I don't mean it's too late,
(12:53):
that there's not a chance, but Imean we're their last resort.
They've tried everything elseand sometimes they're so far
gone that it's only one of themthat really wants help at that
point far gone that it's onlyone of them that really wants
help at that point.
And it has been on my heartheavy.
In fact.
I said at the beginning Iwanted to share with you kind of
where my heart is right now andthis is where my heart is.
About two years ago God beganto stir something in my heart
(13:16):
about marriages and Christianityand church and how to help, and
I began to dig deep into it andthen I went through what I'll
only call a spiritual attack, towhere my focus got off that and
I just was trying to survive.
I don't know if you've ever hadthat moment.
I consider myself a prettydecent communicator.
I communicate for a living.
(13:36):
But there are some times, asmuch as I can communicate the
gospel, as much as I stand infront of crowds, the toughest
communication sometimes is in myhouse with my spouse and my
kids, and it's in those momentsthat I feel like, well, maybe
I'm the worst communicator inthe world.
And as I'm processing that formyself and as I'm counseling
(13:57):
people and walking through thisjourney with other people, I
realize, man, I think we allneed help, I think we all need a
leg up and somebody encourageus.
And so I have been writing andI've been studying, and over the
next couple of months I'm goingto be releasing some
devotionals for couples, somemarriage and parenting
curriculum, a communicationmasterclass on how to
(14:19):
communicate better with yourspouse.
In premarital counseling Ialways tell people if you could
do one thing for the rest ofyour life, it should be this
Learn to study your spouse everyday.
Become a student of your spouse.
The more you know your spouse,the more you fall in love with
your spouse, the better you'llcommunicate with your spouse.
The problem is, when our spousemakes us mad, we ignore our
spouse and we don't want to talkto them and we don't want to
(14:41):
communicate and we don't want tolearn, and so we just put
distance between us and them.
And so it's my hope to use theskills God's given me and the
resources to put out someresources to just help people,
and it's going to help people ina couple different realms.
Here's where my heart is.
Marriage is probably thebiggest place that I'm diving
into right now.
(15:01):
Parenting is the second largestplace.
Theology is right along withthat, making sure that the Word
of God is accurately spoken andput into the hearts of people
and not watered down.
And then leadership Leadershipis a big topic for me, mostly
because I didn't see myself as aleader growing up, and so as
(15:23):
I've grown and studiedleadership, I've realized, man,
this is an area that, becauseit's not my first strength, it's
got to be my first learningexperience, and so leadership
has been one of those areas thatI've dove into every day, and I
want to share biblicalleadership with people, and so I
tell you all this to say this Ihope you'll join me on this
journey.
I'll start posting some stuffon social media through the
(15:46):
church's website and my ownpersonal website.
I'll share on the podcast whenthings come out.
But I'm going to ask you to do acouple of things.
I'm going to ask you to pick upthose resources, to share those
resources, to review thoseresources, to encourage people
to dive in and be a betterversion of who God's called them
to be, because I think, as youand I do this together, we get
(16:08):
better together.
So I hope that today, as I'mcelebrating eight years and all
that God has done at South Shoreand maybe I should do a whole
podcast on just celebrationsmaybe that should have been
today of what God's done in thelast eight years, because it
absolutely is amazing thestories I could tell and need to
, I guess, record a podcast, forthat is absolutely amazing.
(16:31):
I think I'm blown away every dayby the faithfulness of God,
just like the disciples.
Every time God does somethingamazing again, it's almost like
he's doing it for the first time, even though he's not and I
should have learned by now thathe's faithful.
I still get excited andencouraged every time, and so I
hope you do as well.
I hope your day is a day ofcelebration, a day of God
working in your life.
(16:51):
I hope that you understand thatthe Word of God matters, that
you and I need to learn tocelebrate things, that anything
worth doing is going to takesome work.
The truth is that sometimeschurch people are going to hurt
people, but you need to learn toabide with them, to carry
burdens and then join me on thisjourney as we try to strengthen
marriages and relationshipswith God all across the world.
Hey podcast world.
Well, today is a bonus episode,if you will.
Today is my eight-yearanniversary as the lead pastor
here at South Shore CommunityChurch, and to celebrate that, I
wanted to talk about eightlessons that I've learned in the
last eight years.
If you're a regular listener,you'll notice that today's
message will be a little bitlonger as I dive into those
things, and so I'm asking you tostick around.
In fact, stick around to theend.
(00:21):
At the very end.
I want to share an update onwhat God is doing in my life and
some new things coming out ofmy world.
After the eighth thing I'llshare today, we'll share that.
But eight years ago today, april11th, I became the lead pastor
of South Shore Community Church.
If you don't know how I gothere, let me tell that story
quickly.
I was a part of another localchurch here in our community and
(00:44):
there was a theological shiftaway from the Bible and it was
heartbreaking and I learnedabout that shift on a Sunday
night and all that week I kindof processed it and by Saturday
I had resigned.
I had a family to provide for,I had bills, a mortgage, two
kids, a wife that workedpart-time, but there are some
things that are just bigger, andso I knew I needed to stand up
(01:06):
for the church and for the Wordof God and so I resigned and I
processed a lot of grief and alot of sadness through that.
Thankfully, about three monthsbefore that, I had been
introduced to a guy by the nameof Brian Yost and an
organization called City Commit.
It's actually one of ourministry partners here in
Sarasota and I'm actually goingto spend the day today with them
(01:28):
.
They have an event this morningfor breakfast and lunch and as
I got introduced to them aboutthree months before that hard
day in my life, I didn't knowwhy I was attending that group.
It was a once-a-month lunch andfast forward to that day that I
resigned my job on a Saturday,monday I started a new job
(01:50):
laying irrigation with a friendand Wednesday I attended that
group again and was able toshare kind of my heartache and
what was going on and got a lotof support through that group
and it was an incredible timeand honestly, that group Brian
in particular is what led me toSouth Shore.
God used them to open some doorshere and a couple months later
(02:10):
I was on staff and overwhelmedin a new, positive reason, but
I've learned a couple thingsover the years and so let me
just jump into that this morning.
The first is this that the Wordof God matters but it doesn't
matter to everyone and, like Isaid, some of these things are
going to be positive, some ofthem a little negative, some of
(02:31):
them both, and this is one ofthose.
Both the Word of God is soimportant, but not every church
views it that way, and that hasbeen one of the biggest
heartbreaks I think that I'veexperienced in my tenure in
ministry, especially over thelast eight years.
I think that I've experiencedin my tenure in ministry,
especially over the last eightyears.
Obviously, this was catalyzedout of that one church that I
(02:53):
was a part of, but as I began tolook around at the nation and
churches and listen to messages,I realized that a lot of
churches and pastors are moreconcerned with growth and
finances and making people feelcomfortable rather than
preaching the Word of God, andso this became a bigger passion
for me than it had already been,and not that I didn't preach
the Word of God before that, butit just became such a burden.
(03:16):
And I'm not cutting down onthose churches that want to
accept everybody.
But let me say it this way I'vegot two kids, 12 and 13 years
old, and we're at an interestingage to where they're molding
into the adults that they're oneday going to be.
And sometimes Lori and I lookat them and we realize some of
the habits they have and some ofthe ways they act are not going
to do well for them in life.
(03:37):
And if I just wanted to acceptthem, I would ignore those
things and say, well, I justwant them to feel loved and so
I'm not going to correct them, Ithem.
I would ignore those things andsay, well, I just want them to
feel loved and so I'm not goingto correct them, I'm not going
to help them.
There will be consequences downthe road.
Their life's not going to beall that it could be, but right
now, in this moment, I want themto feel loved, and so I could
ignore what they're doing andtheir habits and their hurts and
their hangups and theirattitudes.
(03:59):
But instead, lori and I we hadthis conversation last night.
Instead, lori and I, we hadthis conversation last night
We've got to stop and helpcorrect them.
We've got to get them to aplace that they're living out
their best life for God so thattheir future is set up for
success, that they become thepeople that God wants them to be
.
And so I think, when it comesto the church, you and I have to
(04:23):
do the same.
And so I think, when it comesto the church, you and I have to
do the same.
While the Word of God and Jesusis love, right, there's also a
lot of calls to obedience in theway you and I are to live, and
so it matters how you and Ipreach the gospel.
The second thing I've learned inthe last eight years is you've
got to learn to celebrate.
Anything worth doing is worthcelebrating, and I think we've
gotten this right at South Shore.
(04:44):
Sometimes we celebrate a lot ofthings.
One in particular is baptisms.
Baptism Sunday happens to beone of my favorite, and it's my
favorite because the heart ofthe church is celebratory.
When people come out of thatwater, I love it.
The church stands up and theyhoot and they holler and they
clap and they celebrate.
It's not just a sit and watchexperience, it is man.
(05:06):
I truly see life change, and soI think you and I, and all
things in life, have to learn tocelebrate the big things, the
little things, the wins.
Anything worth doing is worthcelebrating Now.
Number three let me say it thisway Anything worth doing is
going to take some work.
Number four I think some of thelessons I've learned have been
(05:26):
around adaptability andresilience.
Over eight years, I've faced alot of challenges, some of those
just growth challenges andnatural fun things that are
still challenges, but some ofthem harder moments, and I think
sometimes, like anybody else, Idon't love change, but this
idea of being resilient isn'tfound in the Christian life very
well.
We are more known for beingdefeated and discouraged than we
(05:51):
are for being resilient in themoment.
I think for me, staff changeshave been a hard thing, as some
staff have come and gone overthe years.
I'll never forget the firststaff member that left, and they
left for good reasons.
It still was heartbreaking tome because I wasn't ready for it
.
I wasn't prepared for it.
I think the other kind of bigrock, if you will, that hit me
(06:14):
hard was construction.
We did a construction projecthere back in 2019, and I was not
prepared for how manyroadblocks were going to come
along that path.
I'm a very black and whiteperson when it comes to.
If you're going to do somethingyou tell me, I'm just going to
believe you.
And when things shiftconsistently and constantly,
it's harder for me to adapt, andso that's been one of those
(06:37):
learning lessons for me is, withall the changes that come and
go, how do I become moreresilient?
Number five you've heard thisphrase before hurt people hurt
people, right, and I think thatis a surprising thing in the
church for a lot of people.
A lot of people think when youcome to church, everybody's
going to get along andeverybody's going to be happy.
But truth is hurt people hurtpeople, and not everybody
(07:01):
understands that, and so whatI've found throughout eight
years of being here is there arealways going to be someone that
doesn't love you, and the onesthat don't love you are usually
the most vocal.
They're the ones that are goingto share their opinions.
There could be a thousandpeople in the room and don't
love you are usually the mostvocal, they're the ones that are
going to share their opinions.
There could be a thousandpeople in the room and everybody
says you are amazing and welove you, and one person says
(07:24):
man, I don't like you.
And what are you and I going toruminate on that one person.
We'll spend the rest of the daythinking man, why don't they
like me?
What did I do?
How can I be better me?
What did I do?
How can I be better?
And instead of allowing thatand so let me say it like this,
not everybody's opinion mattersDon't let the minority be the
majority in your mind.
(07:47):
Number six, probably one that Iwrestle with the most, and I'm
processing this a lot right nowis church.
Family doesn't really meanfamily to many people.
I am always blown away by theamount of people at South Shore
that have been here for 30 years, and let me be real honest with
you over 30 years, south Shorehas hurt a lot of people, not
(08:09):
intentionally, but there's beenseasons where ministry has been
great and there's been seasonswhere ministry has been hard,
and in those hard seasons peopleget hurt, and so I'm always
blown away, encouraged andshocked by the people that have
stuck it out, that have said no,this is my church family, this
is where God's called me to.
I think in American church,american culture, we are quick
(08:31):
to jump ship and find somethingthat's not as confrontational.
That just feels easier.
In fact, I had a pastorrecently say to me hey, I think
I pastor some of your people andyou pastor some of my people,
and he laughed and I laughed andthen I thought, man, that's the
saddest statement I think I'veever heard.
Man, we are called to carryeach other's burdens, but a lot
(08:53):
of people, especially in theAmerican church, when the
burdens get tough, people liketo jump and go somewhere else.
Number seven another hardlesson I've learned is you can't
save everybody.
What I mean by that?
We've got Celebrate Recoveryhere on Sunday nights, and if
you don't know what CelebrateRecovery is, it's out of
Saddleback, out of California,and it's designed for people
(09:15):
with hurts, habits and hangups,and I think that defines all of
us right.
We all have those hurts, habitsand hangups in life.
Just some of us are willing toadmit it and some of us aren't.
And so we have a CR programthat meets here on Sunday nights
and they use our facility andthey're an incredible group.
They'll run 150 to 200 peopleon Sunday nights and I love
going to CR because people don'twear masks.
(09:37):
And what do I mean by that?
They are just real.
If you ask them how they'redoing, they're going to tell you
exactly how they're doing,whether you want to hear it or
not.
If you ask the question,they're going to assume you want
to know, and I love therealness and the rawness of it.
But I wasn't prepared for CR.
Early on, I began to get to knowsome of the guys and celebrate
(09:58):
their wins with them.
A guy in particular, a guynamed Taylor, and I'll never
forget.
When Taylor passed away, hisaddiction got the better of him.
He had just had a new baby.
It was around Christmas timeand I was sitting here at church
in my office, like I am rightnow, and I was preparing the
message and I took a break.
And I took a break and I openedup Facebook and there was a
(10:18):
post by a friend of mine thatsaid rest in peace, Taylor.
And I thought you gotta bekidding me.
Like I know this guy, like Ijust talked to this guy, and so
it didn't hit me that this wasreal.
I just thought, man, they'vegot to have their information
wrong.
And so I got my phone out.
I began to blow up Taylor'sphone, I texted him, I called
him, I called his fiance and wasjust getting nobody.
(10:40):
So I got in my car unpreparedfor Sunday and drove to Taylor's
house and beat on the doortrying to just get some answers.
Eventually I could not findanybody, so I made my way back
to the office and about thattime I got a message from his
fiance that let me know it wastrue that he had passed away,
and I mourned that death morethan I think I had time to.
(11:03):
It took me a while to processthat Another guy by the name of
Scott passed away about twoweeks ago.
As of this recording and I'mstill processing that, scott was
one of those guys that had anincredible personality.
He was the guy that if hewalked in the room, you loved
Scott, you wanted to be aroundScott.
He was larger than life andI'll never forget when he
disappeared.
For a while we hadn't seen himand I was driving down Tamiami
(11:27):
Trail and I saw a guy walkingdown Tamiami Trail that looked
vaguely like Scott, but like 100pounds thinner and sickly.
Vaguely like Scott, but like ahundred pounds thinner and
sickly.
And so I did a U-turn in my carand drove back and pulled into
the McDonald's parking lot and,sure enough, it was Scott and he
had been on a heroin bender.
And I bought him lunch that dayand sat and talked with him and
(11:49):
encouraged him and about sixmonths later he was in a healthy
place again, and that'sprobably been two or three years
ago, maybe four years ago as ofthis recording but he was doing
great and and, honestly, Italked to him maybe two months
ago and haven't talked to himsince, and then I got word the
other day that he passed awayand my heart grieves every
moment.
You can't save everyone, so whatdoes that mean?
(12:11):
Does that mean you give up?
Does that mean you just stoptrying?
No, I think you move to thenext person.
I think every Taylor and everyScott should invigorate you and
I to further help the nextperson, invigorate you and I to
further help the next person.
The last thing, number eight,that I'll share is I believe
there is an attack onChristianity like has never been
(12:31):
, and I see it in a lot of areas, and the one that I've seen it
the most, and the one that'sconcerning me the most, is in
marriages.
There's not a week, sometimesnot a day, that goes by that we
don't get phone calls and textmessages here at the church
about marriages falling apart,and usually by the time they
reach out to us, it's too late,and I don't mean it's too late,
(12:53):
that there's not a chance, but Imean we're their last resort.
They've tried everything elseand sometimes they're so far
gone that it's only one of themthat really wants help at that
point far gone that it's onlyone of them that really wants
help at that point.
And it has been on my heartheavy.
In fact.
I said at the beginning Iwanted to share with you kind of
where my heart is right now andthis is where my heart is.
About two years ago God beganto stir something in my heart
(13:16):
about marriages and Christianityand church and how to help, and
I began to dig deep into it andthen I went through what I'll
only call a spiritual attack, towhere my focus got off that and
I just was trying to survive.
I don't know if you've ever hadthat moment.
I consider myself a prettydecent communicator.
I communicate for a living.
(13:36):
But there are some times, asmuch as I can communicate the
gospel, as much as I stand infront of crowds, the toughest
communication sometimes is in myhouse with my spouse and my
kids, and it's in those momentsthat I feel like, well, maybe
I'm the worst communicator inthe world.
And as I'm processing that formyself and as I'm counseling
(13:57):
people and walking through thisjourney with other people, I
realize, man, I think we allneed help, I think we all need a
leg up and somebody encourageus.
And so I have been writing andI've been studying, and over the
next couple of months I'm goingto be releasing some
devotionals for couples, somemarriage and parenting
curriculum, a communicationmasterclass on how to
(14:19):
communicate better with yourspouse.
In premarital counseling Ialways tell people if you could
do one thing for the rest ofyour life, it should be this
Learn to study your spouse everyday.
Become a student of your spouse.
The more you know your spouse,the more you fall in love with
your spouse, the better you'llcommunicate with your spouse.
The problem is, when our spousemakes us mad, we ignore our
spouse and we don't want to talkto them and we don't want to
(14:41):
communicate and we don't want tolearn, and so we just put
distance between us and them.
And so it's my hope to use theskills God's given me and the
resources to put out someresources to just help people,
and it's going to help people ina couple different realms.
Here's where my heart is.
Marriage is probably thebiggest place that I'm diving
into right now.
(15:01):
Parenting is the second largestplace.
Theology is right along withthat, making sure that the Word
of God is accurately spoken andput into the hearts of people
and not watered down.
And then leadership Leadershipis a big topic for me, mostly
because I didn't see myself as aleader growing up, and so as
(15:23):
I've grown and studiedleadership, I've realized, man,
this is an area that, becauseit's not my first strength, it's
got to be my first learningexperience, and so leadership
has been one of those areas thatI've dove into every day, and I
want to share biblicalleadership with people, and so I
tell you all this to say this Ihope you'll join me on this
journey.
I'll start posting some stuffon social media through the
(15:46):
church's website and my ownpersonal website.
I'll share on the podcast whenthings come out.
But I'm going to ask you to do acouple of things.
I'm going to ask you to pick upthose resources, to share those
resources, to review thoseresources, to encourage people
to dive in and be a betterversion of who God's called them
to be, because I think, as youand I do this together, we get
(16:08):
better together.
So I hope that today, as I'mcelebrating eight years and all
that God has done at South Shoreand maybe I should do a whole
podcast on just celebrationsmaybe that should have been
today of what God's done in thelast eight years, because it
absolutely is amazing thestories I could tell and need to
, I guess, record a podcast, forthat is absolutely amazing.
(16:31):
I think I'm blown away every dayby the faithfulness of God,
just like the disciples.
Every time God does somethingamazing again, it's almost like
he's doing it for the first time, even though he's not and I
should have learned by now thathe's faithful.
I still get excited andencouraged every time, and so I
hope you do as well.
I hope your day is a day ofcelebration, a day of God
working in your life.
(16:51):
I hope that you understand thatthe Word of God matters, that
you and I need to learn tocelebrate things, that anything
worth doing is going to takesome work.
The truth is that sometimeschurch people are going to hurt
people, but you need to learn toabide with them, to carry
burdens and then join me on thisjourney as we try to strengthen
marriages and relationshipswith God all across the world.
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