BTE4.05 Scaling for Growth: Time and Resources with DJ Rodeffer and Mallory Jenkins

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On this episode of Beyond the Event, we sit down with DJ Rodeffer, a student pastor from Frederick, Maryland. DJ walks us through the trials and triumphs of evolving from leading a small group to managing the growing congregation at Collective Church. His insights shed light on the dynamic roles within youth ministry and the art of fostering a community that feels both expansive and intimate. By sharing personal experiences, DJ offers listeners a glimpse into his journey of spiritual leadership and community building.

Our conversation takes a deep dive into the strategic planning and collaboration necessary for youth ministry events, specifically a four-day experience centered on the book of Hebrews. With a thematic focus on endurance and faith, we discuss how these teachings are tailored to resonate with both junior high and high school students, drawing them closer to the gospel.

Be sure to check out the new video version of this podcast on YouTube!

Want to connect with us? Here's how!

• www.ciy.com
• youtube.com/christinyouth
• @christinyouth on Instagram
• CIY Community Facebook Group
• Email us at [e-mail]

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:03):
Hi, I'm Brad Warren.
This is Beyond the Event, ayouth ministry podcast presented
by Christ in Youth, where wehelp you maintain momentum
between the mountaintops.
So pumped for today to talk alittle bit more about growth and
how to grow well with a goodfriend of mine.
His name is DJ Rodefer.
He is a student pastor inFrederick, maryland, at a church

(00:27):
plant called Collective Church,and I'm excited to have a
conversation with him about theways that his life and role have
changed as his youth ministryhas grown from a very, very
small, tight group of people tosomething that requires a little
bit more intentionality andmanagement as it's, as it's
grown.
Uh, but we will get to that,we'll get to that.

(00:50):
We'll get to that when we getto it first.
We get to it first.
I get to talk to mal.
Hey brad, hey mal.
How the heck are you?
I'm good, good, good, good,good.
I'm glad to hear that we'regetting a late start today, mal.

Speaker 2 (01:07):
Okay, you said you weren't.

Speaker 1 (01:10):
Okay, we won't.

Speaker 2 (01:11):
No.

Speaker 1 (01:12):
Well now?
Well, no, we can leave thepeople in mystery.
No, you won't, okay.
No, I will, we get my.

Speaker 2 (01:17):
No, I overslept, Yesterday was Halloween.
Okay, we had a lot of fun.
So much fun.
Scare, no share, not scare.
Yes, I'm dyslexic, brad.

Speaker 1 (01:30):
I'm not dyslexic and I say scare not share all the
time it's so hard to get itright.
It just feels more natural.

Speaker 5 (01:37):
I'll say it and if Jennifer listens to this podcast
, it's okay okay, whoever I feel, like Jennifer is the one that
would correct me but it justfeels.
More's to say, I feel likeJennifer is the one that would
correct me.

Speaker 2 (01:44):
We got to go straight to the top, maybe, but it just
feels more natural to say scare,not share.
Yes, so we put on.
Do the people know?

Speaker 4 (01:54):
Do the people know?
Maybe we put it on social media?
Yeah, we do.
Okay, it's like yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:59):
Yeah, competition in our hallways.
I'm in the west wing, we arethree-time champions of this
competition, um, where ourdifferent hallways have a good
old you know competition.
Competition where you, thestaff, kids and you know
community of of fun, funchildren, uh, they come around

(02:24):
and they trick-or-treat throughour hallways and so we have
different themes and it hasbecome over the few years, a
competition of you know hallwaysagainst each other, of like and
as on, as we're prone to do.
Yes, the competition has becomeintense yes, when I started in

(02:44):
2016, it was a bowl of candy ona stool outside of your office
and it was like, and the kidswould come by and you go, oh
cute you're a princess pre peach.
Okay, yeah, on to the next thing.
On to the next thing.
And now it has gotten a littleout of insane, because I think
we were, we, we are, you know,three-time champions.

(03:06):
And so the garage, which is thenorthwest wing, but it used to
be our old garage.
They wanted the trophy so badthat they started working on it
I'm gonna be honest.

Speaker 1 (03:17):
They deserved it last year.
They did not.
They deserved it last year andthey got robbed they?
They didn't.
And this year it was a littlebit of a makeup call and the
garage won.
They did not.
All of that to say I feel likewe're vamping a lot about how
you're late.

Speaker 2 (03:33):
Okay, I worked really hard on that.
And then I stayed up reallylate working hard on a Halloween
party tonight and then, yeah, Iwas working on my costume for
tonight.

Speaker 1 (03:45):
Yes, right now it is november 1st but it's a friday,
okay, yeah, yeah, no, totallyunderstandable, my dogs are
gonna be aladdin and abu are youthe magic carpet?
No, I am genie.

Speaker 2 (03:56):
I am genie okay and so I was working on halloween
costumes, stayed up late andthen are you gonna be singing
for us?
Um no, but I'm a specific partof genie where you know he's the
cheerleader and he's cheeringon aladdin.
He's like.
He's like rick and rock androck, a rake, stick that sword

(04:18):
into that snake, and then javaris like stay out of it, because
he's yeah, yeah and then he'slike javar javar, he's our man.
If he can't do it, great.
So that's me.
And then they're a boo andlaughing um so I stayed up way
too late, and then I overslept.
And then I texted brad 20minutes before and I said bad
news, it's filmed now, so Icould have left my office, I

(04:43):
mean my bed.
I could have officed from mybed with a Zoom link, which
could have happened.

Speaker 1 (04:50):
But we're on YouTube now.

Speaker 2 (04:51):
Yeah, which is tough, so qualm, so I could have just
done this from my bed.

Speaker 1 (05:01):
Oh, that's all right and that is an intro Mal, I want
to tell you, let's talk aboutMix.
Let's do it, I want to tell youthat Mix last year was
spectacular.
I loved it.
Every youth pastor that Italked to loved it.
I think it was a timely messagefor students, for youth pastors
, for me and other members ofour staff, and it was just

(05:24):
really wonderful for youthpastors, for me and other
members of our staff, and it wasjust really wonderful.
I'm excited to see now what wecome up with for 2025.
Me too.
So, with you being our leadprogrammer for Mix, I wanted to
have you come on and talk alittle bit about what we have to
look forward to next summer.

Speaker 2 (05:41):
Yes, well, our poster is just unreal.

Speaker 1 (05:44):
It's so cool, it's so good I mean, you can see all of
that online already.
Yes, you can see how icom slashmix.
It's all there it's so good.

Speaker 2 (05:52):
I mean, matthew harris is just genius incredible
and he's really the reason thatthe garage won, I mean yeah
he's just sure not scare don'tmention the wound if you went to
mix this year.
You understand, okay, anyway,um, and so, yeah, he is just so

(06:15):
incredible, and so he.
He made our poster last yearfor rest of your life.
Um, we have so many talenteddesigners.
I mean we have Tatiana, who madeour amazing mascots.
She makes our mascots, so she'sworking on them this year too,
but Matthew just happened tomake our poster last year and he

(06:35):
made our poster this year aswell, and so we are in this
outer space world and typicallyour outer realm doesn't
necessarily match our indoor, soit's kind of outside it's a ton
little thing.
Yeah, it's a ton little thingand it's like, oh, like in 23,
it was Western and then it wasWestern but inside was Doodle

(06:58):
and it's like why?
And it's like it doesn't needto have a reason.

Speaker 1 (07:04):
Yeah, we're mixed baby.

Speaker 2 (07:05):
Yeah, we're mixed baby.

Speaker 1 (07:06):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (07:06):
We're middle school, junior high.

Speaker 1 (07:08):
Keeping it fast and loose.

Speaker 2 (07:09):
Oh yeah, that is junior high.
Yeah, we don't need a reason,and it's so fun because their
brains and our brains are justlike fun, and so we like to
change it up.
But this year it's the firsttime where they will align.
So we are in this outer spaceworld indoor and out, and so

(07:32):
they are space cadets that are,you know, going through training
for their outer space missionin the outer realm.
But also we are in this amazingouter space look and feel,
because our tour theme is inbetween and we're going um

(07:53):
through the book of hebrews, butobviously we're only a four-day
event.
So you kind of have to pick andchoose.
When you go through hitting thehighlights, you're hitting the
highlights, um, but Hebrews isjust such an interesting book
and the the author of it ofcourse we don't know who, but,
um, the, the author of it isjust so compelling when they're

(08:18):
talking about this amazingsacrifice of Jesus and
encouraging us to keep the faith.
And what was very compellingfor me in studying the text was
and I love that here on theprogramming team, like Mikey,
myself and Nate, we get to kindof dive in and we collaborate

(08:44):
together.
But then we also want mix andmove to feel different.
We want the teachings also toalign and that's why sometimes
you're going to hear, if you goto a mix and move in the same
summer you're going to hear someof the same stories or
teachings.

Speaker 1 (09:01):
So last year you but it's so age intentional which is
like the beautiful thingexactly is you can't.
Even if you take the same fourverses out of hebrews chapter
two and you want to teach into ajunior high audience, you're
just going to present itdifferently than if you teach it
to a high school audience,which is what I think is so
magical about move heard thecore verses of um matthew 11, 28

(09:26):
, 28 30, yeah 28 through 30 andum psalms 23 last year at both
events.

Speaker 2 (09:34):
But all of our jesus stories were actually very
different.
We at mix did not do thecalming of the storm.
We did not do mary and martha,because we had already done that
the year before.
So like that's the fun thingabout like they are two
different um experiences becauseone it's a different age,
intentional um expression, butalso we are two different

(09:58):
programmers, like mikey andmyself.
We're two different people and,uh, god is speaking to us in
different ways, and so it'sreally cool how we're able to
collaborate but also beindividuals as we look at these
students and pray and see howthe Lord wants us to really

(10:21):
teach and lead as we go outthroughout the summer.
So what really stood out to mein reading Hebrews was Hebrews 7
, 25, where it says it's on ourposter and saying like Jesus
lives forever to intercede withGod on our behalf, and so that's
really this meaning of inbetween is that you know the

(10:45):
heart of the gospel is that youknow we let sin come in between
us and God, and then Jesus iswhat changed everything.
And so would we learn this weekat Mix?
Would we take those four daysand learn about?
Get mixed, where we take thosefour days and learn about, you

(11:09):
know, the gospel and use Hebrewsto kind of walk us through
creation, fall, redemption andkingdom work and this hall of
faith in Hebrews 11 on day four,and how there's so many kingdom
workers of the past, there's somany of them that we turn to
and we hear about.
And then also this amazing inchapter 12, this amazing like
just encouragement of endurance,of like keep the faith run with

(11:33):
endurance.
And so we're really excited tokind of dig in there and say,
yeah, students, let's look andsee how this letter was written
for these church goers, thesefollowers, to say, hey, jesus
comes in and he is the way, he'sthe one that gets us back to

(11:55):
God.
And so our daily themes are inbetween night one.
Let's talk about this inbetween.
What does it mean?
What's this interceder like?
What does god have to do orjesus need to?
Why did we need jesus?
And then, um, it would kind offlow from there like god and us,

(12:18):
death and life, now and forever.
So what's the in between of godand us, death and life, now and
forever?
Um, because they are thein-between of God and us death
and life, now and forever.
Because they are in this middleposition, they're in in-between
, they're middle schoolers.

Speaker 1 (12:33):
They are Literally middle.
You're in the middle.
Yes, they are in between theiradolescence.

Speaker 2 (12:40):
They're still in it, but they're like in their
adolescence and adulthood therest of their life.
Throwback to last year is aheadof them, but they're kind of
stuck in the middle.

Speaker 1 (12:51):
Sometimes people don't know what to do with them
yeah, and it's like I don't feellike a child, but I'm not an
adult.
Yeah, it's like, yeah, there'sa lot there yeah, so read that
read, read your theme verseagain.

Speaker 2 (13:03):
Yeah, so it's Hebrews 7.25,.
Jesus lives forever tointercede with God on our behalf
.

Speaker 1 (13:12):
So why do you think I'm going to ask you a hard
question?
Yeah.
You ready?
Why do you think that thatverse is like uniquely going to
speak to, or how do you thinkthat verse is uniquely going to
speak to junior high studentsthis summer?

Speaker 2 (13:26):
I think because students have always wanted
someone to be there on theirbehalf.
Like students, especially atthis age, they get lost in the
crowd.
They get lost in just the seaof people, or maybe in the-.

(13:47):
Can feel isolated and oh yeah,they feel isolated, they feel
shame, they feel guilt, theyfeel unseen, and so they feel so
many things, so many emotions,so fast.
And so when they're feelingthat way, they would love
someone to just stick up forthem.
They love someone to just comein and say, hey, I'm here with

(14:09):
you.
And so I feel like that wordintercede another word they
don't know.

Speaker 1 (14:17):
They don't understand .

Speaker 2 (14:18):
It's like that we don't ever use that word no, no,
no, no, not at all.
Yeah, no, no, no, no, not atall.

Speaker 1 (14:21):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (14:22):
But I think it's a word that's so important because
they, in learning this word,maybe will realize that like
hole that they've been lookingfor and realize it can only be
filled by Jesus, and so sayinglike I love it.
Yeah, like there's been aproblem created by sin and Jesus

(14:43):
fills it, and so, yeah, you'vebeen feeling this this whole um,
and Jesus is the true one thatcan do this, and already is yeah
.

Speaker 1 (14:54):
Yeah, that's incredible.
All right, um Mal, thanks forsharing.
I'm really excited to see allthe different.
You talked about you and Mikeyhaving different personalities,
and I'm excited to see all theexpressions of you and how they
kind of come out in the mixedprogramming.
It'll be a lot of fun.
So, um, that's all we're goingto get people for now.
You know, we got to just just ataste just a teaser, just a

(15:17):
little breadcrumb.
Uh, we are going to do themailbag.
Before we do the mail bag, Iwant to say a thing which I
posted on facebook.
I don't I love the mail bag.
If the mail bag is like if youdon't love the mail bag, we
don't have to keep doing it.

(15:37):
I don't want to beg forquestions and I'm not going to
beg for questions for the mailbag, but we are kind of getting
to the point where it's gettinga little bit harder to find
questions.
So if the mailbag is somethingthat you value, if you're like,
yeah, this is a fun part of theepisode.
I like asking Mal and Mikey andLane and Caleb and Corey all
these different questions, weneed you to send us questions.

(15:59):
You can do that at podcast andciycom.
You can do that by text and thelink in our show notes you can.
Usually I post something on theci community facebook group and
I'm like hey, give me mailbagquestions.
You can do it there.
You know there are ways.
So, without further ado, um,like I said in my facebook post,
unlike aretha, I am too proudto beg, so I I won't.

Speaker 2 (16:24):
I forgot this was recorded and I just gave like I
was going, I was like wincing, Iwas like it's filmed.

Speaker 1 (16:35):
It is filmed.

Speaker 2 (16:35):
That was really great .

Speaker 4 (16:36):
It was very.
It was a very heartfelt.
It was very heartfelt, I justimagine, like sad music playing
underneath it yeah.

Speaker 1 (16:46):
Well you're the producerael.
Yeah, that's true I know that'sexactly what I was thinking of
yeah the mailbag is about to bein the arms of the angels I want
to say this.

Speaker 2 (17:03):
I listen.
Listen to the Office Ladiespodcast.
It is now over Rip.
I'm so sad, but I thinkquestions all the time for that,
so let me encourage you, brad,with this.
I wanted to ask a questionabout Dinner Party the entire
time.
Am I emailing them?

(17:23):
No, did I email them about nineseasons?
No, I'm too lazy.

Speaker 1 (17:29):
Well.

Speaker 2 (17:29):
So just know that.
Thank you.
That, even though people aren'tsubmitting questions that they
maybe think of questions.

Speaker 1 (17:36):
Yeah, but what I'm saying is, we can only answer
the questions if they ask forthe answers.
No, I understand this.

Speaker 2 (17:44):
I just wanted to say, if you were feeling that, know
that I would love to talk to.

Speaker 1 (17:51):
Jenna and Angela, but they're gone.

Speaker 2 (17:56):
But I'm always driving and it's dangerous.
So maybe they're driving andthey're like Brad.

Speaker 4 (18:02):
I'm going to email you Faith over feel mount so I
think, I think, I think, the, Ithink, the the an easy way to
really sort of distill whatwe're getting at is, unlike the
lord, we cannot answer anunasked question.

Speaker 1 (18:14):
Amen so amen um but fortunately we do have some
asked questions.

Speaker 4 (18:21):
Yes, uh, with that, we have a question from tyler
ash.
Tyler is asking what's youropinion on boneless wings?
Are they chicken nuggets byanother name, intended to
protect the pride of the orderer, or legitimate food product
deserving distinction from theworld of children's food?

Speaker 1 (18:43):
I take objection.

Speaker 2 (18:46):
I know the right answer no, you go.
Chicken nuggets aren'tchildren's food?
Yes, they are.
You don't ever just drivethrough a McDonald's and order
some nugs.
No, I do not.
That is a garbage, I'm sorry.

Speaker 4 (19:03):
I do too, that's a poor man's uh food, that is I
will say, I will say in defenseof chicken nuggets uh, they are
excellent driving food they'regreat driving food no, an adult
chicken nugget is called achicken strip they're different.
They're different items on,like Chick-fil-A's menu.

Speaker 2 (19:25):
I know which.

Speaker 4 (19:25):
I will say chicken strips at Chick-fil-A are better
than chicken nuggets yeah,because they're made for adults?

Speaker 1 (19:31):
well, yeah, because the chicken to breading ratio is
better that probably isessentially why it's better so
why would they make a differentproduct?

Speaker 2 (19:40):
it's for the grasping of, like, the hands, like,
think of your hand.
I think that a chicken strip isfor an adult and I think that a
nugget is for a child.
Now, am I above a nug?
No, I'm not, but I'm above amcdonald's nugget now I'm not.
I'm not above mcdonald's nuggetnow I'm above it when the when

(20:03):
daylight is out yeah I'm aboveit.
Now, when the sun comes downand the moon is out, I will eat
a mcdonald's nugget it's not myfirst choice yeah, yeah, but
fortunately we're in a seasonwhere they're only about six
hours of

Speaker 4 (20:19):
daylight you're like a a were nugget eater yeah, I'm
like awolf.
So what is a?

Speaker 2 (20:24):
boneless swing.
The first thing he said.
He said it and it made amillion times sense.

Speaker 4 (20:30):
Chicken nuggets by another name.

Speaker 2 (20:32):
Chicken nuggets by another name.

Speaker 1 (20:33):
Meant to protect the dignity of the person ordering
them.
Yes, I'm fine with that, but Ido not feel any loss of dignity
ordering chicken nuggets or evenlike.
So like if I go to chili's andI get the whatever they're
called boneless wings.
No, the chicken crispers.
Like the strips.
That's fine.
Are they strips?

Speaker 2 (20:54):
they're strips I don't think it's really any
shame.
Okay, I never thought about itbefore, but now that he brings
it up I'm like you.
You know what.
You're right.
Can a raccoon, a small babyraccoon that's the size of my
niece, hold a nugget socomfortably?
Yeah, would a strip be a littletoo much?

(21:17):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (21:21):
I am at a total loss.
Tyler Ash, you ruined thispodcast.

Speaker 4 (21:28):
No, he didn't.
Here's what I'll say.
I hate messy finger foods.
They're among my least favoritethings to try and eat.
If my fingers get messy eatingfood, I don't enjoy it.

Speaker 1 (21:40):
People eat boneless wings with a fork though that's
great.

Speaker 4 (21:44):
Well, that's kind of what I'm getting at Like.
I actually would prefer to beable to eat wings with a fork if
I could, and so gettingboneless wings allows me that
luxury.
Here's the thing.
Not all wings places offer thesame like flavors for their
boneless wings as they do fortheir bone in wings.

(22:06):
So like hackett's are, you know,yes, a local favorite.
Not everyone loves hackett's.
Um, some people think hackett'shas fallen from grace.
I'll stay out of that debatefor now.
But um, hackett's does not dodry rub on their boneless, I
know.
But my favorite flavor thatthey do is their lemon pepper
dry rub.

Speaker 1 (22:26):
Then order bone-in wings like an adult human being
okay, why?
Are you all right?
Chicken nugget eater goodnessgracious so angry I just think
boneless wings shouldn't exist,like we didn't.
I'm kind of with tyler like theheart of his question, like
either order bone-in wings ororder chicken nuggets, it's fine
.

Speaker 2 (22:46):
Wow, see, I didn't take this as any dignity move.
I just was saying, yeah,there's a chicken strip.

Speaker 1 (22:55):
This is what consumerism does to us.

Speaker 2 (22:56):
And there is a chicken nugget.

Speaker 1 (22:59):
And there's a boneless wing and there's a
bone-in wing.
Why do we have so manycategories?
Do you know how big a chickenis?
It's like this big.
Why do we need so many?
I know how big a chicken is.

Speaker 2 (23:13):
I need you to show me how big a chicken is.

Speaker 4 (23:15):
Brad just wants us to circle back to the fact that
he's killed chickens.
I have circle forward, I guessoh, that's true little sneak
peek for the listeners andviewers out there okay to next
to next to the next episode.

Speaker 2 (23:31):
Yeah, give me another question.

Speaker 4 (23:35):
I want to move on so we have one more question uh
this question comes from kelseycook uh, and kelsey wants to
know what's the best way toprepare students going into this
summer's move and mix programs.

Speaker 2 (23:48):
We really should have led with Kelsey, because now I
am flustered.

Speaker 1 (23:57):
Well, we can take move off the table.
Let's just talk about mix,flustered about the chicken To
prepare.

Speaker 2 (24:07):
Don't take them to a chicken place.
No, I would say, man, well onethank you.
Thank you for bringing yourstudents.
We love that we get to.
We get to be the bridesmaid,never the bride.
That's a big core value here atCIY and that's what I love.

(24:28):
That's what I love about coming.
This will be my 12th summerwith CIY Will be my ninth full
time, but when I startedemceeing and acting back in 2014
, what I loved is I was a campteamer at, on you know, for

(24:49):
Ozark Christian College and Iwould go around to different
camps for two years before Istarted with CIY and I loved
that I could be whatever thecamp needed when I was a college
rep.
So sometimes we showed up andwe were cooks and they were like
trip.
So sometimes we showed up andwe were cooks.

(25:09):
And they were like hello, here'sa pack of chicken nuggets.
And it was like here is like.

Speaker 1 (25:12):
And now picked up the chicken nuggets and said these
look like boneless wings no, Idid not.

Speaker 2 (25:16):
I just was like, okay , and you need these when.
And I was like, okay, here'sthe hair nuts, go people.
And it was like okay, and youjust were what you needed to be.
Once I was told we were worship, um, around like for campfire
worship once, but my whole teamwas sick and so I just strummed
one chord and said I'm notmusical at all.

(25:42):
Um, it was terrifying.
So you are what you need to beto serve the church, and so I
love that.
Ozark instilled that in me.
But we were dGroup leaders.
We were all these differentthings to help serve the church.
But then, when I came to CIY, Iloved that we were doing the

(26:04):
same thing, but the differencewas we weren't necessarily
building the relationships withthe students.
We still got to eat lunch withthe students, we still got to
have fun and play, but we wentto the next place to set up the
next youth ministry.
Because when we were showing upto these camps, some of them
they didn't have the adultleader support, they didn't have

(26:26):
the youth ministry support.
And so we were the D groupleaders, we were the adults, and
so it was so fun to invest inthe lives of these students for
that week, but it would be hardbecause the students would try
to reach out over Facebook andthrough the year like they would
want you know us to be a partof their lives as college

(26:50):
students.
But we were across the country,um, so I'd say like the most
important part is um preparingyour adult leaders, because they
are investing in your studentsand that is just such a cultural

(27:10):
and important role that is, youknow, going to their soccer
games and showing up at theirplays.
It just that presence means somuch and I think that
experiencing that for two yearsand then coming in and getting
to have fun and get to share thegospel in so many different

(27:34):
ways, I think that's why I, youknow, praying that year, I was
like Lord, I will do this therest of my life if you let me
and I love that he's let me dothat.
The last 12 years is getting tocome alongside the church and we
know our place isn't todisciple your students.
It is to set up greatconversations for you to have

(28:01):
with your students, to love yourstudents, to have memories with
your students, to be presentwith your students so that you
can go home and kick off yourministry and they're not trying
to find us on Facebook.
We fall to the side.
We are a mist of a memory.
We're basically just like acolor.

(28:22):
It was like ah, it was orange.
But all of the memories of campand of conference and all those
things are of God and are ofyour youth group and your

(28:42):
students.
Pray over those that will fillyour registration spots, but
also pray over your leaders.
Pray over those who will bediscipling your students.
Also, pray over those spotsthat somebody's going to get
sick, somebody's going to go outof town and then some parent is
going to be like I guess I'llfill it.

(29:06):
Those are always the wacky fun,amazing last minute tag-ins
that make such a difference.
Those parents make such adifference, and so be praying
for them now.
I would say that's my advice.

Speaker 1 (29:25):
I love it.
That was beautiful Also.
Also, I thought of somethingelse that makes me mad about
boneless chicken wings.
Okay, I'm being dead seriouschicken wings.
Let's have a little quiz boneand chicken wings come from what
part of the chicken?

Speaker 2 (29:45):
I'm gonna say the bones.

Speaker 1 (29:53):
I just want to say, michael, bone-in chicken wings
come from what part of thechicken?
The?

Speaker 4 (29:58):
legs?
I truly don't know, but I wouldguess the legs Wrong.

Speaker 1 (30:03):
It's the wings.
Oh, it is actually the wings.
It is actually the wings.
Boneless chicken wings comefrom the wings.
Or bone-in chicken wings comefrom the wings?
Oh, it is actually the wing.
It is actually the wings.
Boneless chicken wings comefrom the wings.
Or bone-in chicken wings comefrom the wings.
Do boneless chicken wings comefrom the wings?
I don't know.
No, they don't.
They don't brad.
I feel like they don't they justcut a piece of breast meat or
thigh meat and they batter andfry it and they say it's a

(30:25):
boneless chicken.

Speaker 2 (30:25):
I just want to say have you seen miscongeniality?

Speaker 1 (30:28):
I have, I love sandy okay.

Speaker 2 (30:32):
Well, there's this amazing moment where michael
kane michael kane has is soproud of her because she was
just on stage and she is talkingabout gun control and she says
this beautiful speech and then,at the very end, she ruins it

(30:53):
and he says this brief shiningmoment and then that mouth I
feel like I just answeredkelly's question this brief and
shiny moment and then you werethat mouth that's beyond the
event.

Speaker 1 (31:05):
Baby, all alright.
You ready to go talk to DJ?
I would love to.
Let's do it, dj.
I'm so happy that you're herehappy to be here.
I love you so much as a person,and that's all I'm going gonna

(31:27):
say, because on a prior episodeI got in trouble for saying that
every guest is one of myfavorite people.
Apparently I use that verbiagea lot, so I'm not using that
verbiage with you, but I wantyou to know how well do you know
?
Him pretty well.

Speaker 5 (31:45):
I don't know how well you know me now, now that
you're not giving me all thelove I know.

Speaker 1 (31:48):
DJ well enough to know that as a child he was a
fan of the Oakland A's.

Speaker 5 (31:57):
Oh, dude, okay, that's actually.

Speaker 1 (32:01):
I know DJ well enough to know a lot about DJ.
Actually, we went to collegetogether.

Speaker 5 (32:09):
We grew up going to camp.
There's a whole other podcastfor stories of stuff like this.

Speaker 1 (32:14):
Yeah, this one's not going to be marked explicit no.

Speaker 2 (32:19):
I feel like you could start a synonym for this and
you could say he's one of mycollege favorites.

Speaker 1 (32:25):
Yeah, but he's still one of my favorites.
Yeah, there you go, collegefavorites.

Speaker 5 (32:28):
But he's still one of my favorites.
But we go back.

Speaker 1 (32:29):
We go back before college.
We went to camp together North.

Speaker 5 (32:32):
Florida Christian Service.
Camp all day.

Speaker 1 (32:34):
Yeah.

Speaker 5 (32:34):
There's a picture somewhere and it is like there's
like all the people we went tocollege with in it and we were
all like sophomores and juniorsin high school, which is insane.

Speaker 2 (32:48):
Oh, I love a good college and camp throwback.

Speaker 1 (32:50):
Yeah, oh yeah so all that to say uh, dj, you're one
of my favorite people and I'mjust, I'm just leaning in.
I can't, I can't even avoid itanymore.
So, um, dj, so yeah, you wantedto explain yourself about the
a's for a second there.

Speaker 5 (33:07):
Well, not actually an A's fan.
I wasn't, no, I never was TampaBay Rays forever, and the A's
hat was the same color as myhigh school colors.
So that was what cool kids didin high school.
Was you just wear thingsbecause you like the colors or
like the way they look?
Yeah, and green and yellow wasapparently very in D-Land go

(33:29):
Bulldogs, D-Land Bulldogs,there's your shout out Tom's.

Speaker 1 (33:32):
Pizza.
I was just getting ready to saydoes Tom's Pizza still?

Speaker 5 (33:35):
exist, tom's Pizza still exists.
It's still closed on weekends,which is dumb If you're ever in
D-Land Florida, mal you gotta go.
You gotta go to Tom's Pizza.
Not many reasons to go toDeLand Florida.

Speaker 1 (33:50):
There's one reason.

Speaker 5 (33:51):
There's one reason.

Speaker 1 (33:52):
And it's Tom's.

Speaker 2 (33:53):
Where is it?
In the armpit of Florida,there's, it's like.

Speaker 5 (33:58):
Dude, the armpit of Florida.
North Florida Christian ServiceCamp is in the armpit of
Florida.
This is closer to Daytona, ifyou will.

Speaker 2 (34:07):
All right, okay now.
Armpit of Florida.
This is closer to Daytona.
If you will Now, I know it, doyou?
I'll have to check the armpitlater.

Speaker 1 (34:13):
The map it's swampy and on a map Let me tell you,
north Florida Christian ServiceCamp, where DJ and I used to
hang out together, is like youtake the heat and the humidity
and the disgustingness ofFlorida.

Speaker 5 (34:30):
It's the hottest place on earth.

Speaker 1 (34:31):
But you're not near water.
You can't get in the ocean.
There's no.
There was a pool.

Speaker 4 (34:39):
It sounds like Missouri in July.

Speaker 5 (34:41):
But you don't go in the lake you don't go in the
lake.
Oh no because there's gators.

Speaker 1 (34:50):
No, it's the amoebas?

Speaker 5 (34:51):
Yeah, they'll crawl into all your orifices.
That's what they do.

Speaker 1 (34:54):
And eat your brain and stuff.

Speaker 5 (34:56):
That's what we were told every summer.
That's what they told us.
I think, they were just scaringus so that we wouldn't get in
the lake.
It's because they didn't havethe staff to run anything at the
lake let's be honest.

Speaker 1 (35:09):
My word, dj.
It's nice to meet you.
My name is Mallory Jenkins.

Speaker 5 (35:12):
By the way, such an affinity for that place in my
heart, mallory, it's nice tomeet you as well, you are famous
in my youth group because wewere at Mix last year and you
are from the videos.
Oh, my goodness.

Speaker 2 (35:24):
That's very funny.

Speaker 5 (35:26):
So you're a superstar with a bunch of sixth and
seventh graders here inFrederick.
Maryland.

Speaker 2 (35:32):
Well.

Speaker 5 (35:33):
I am honored.

Speaker 2 (35:35):
I am honored.
That is very sweet.
I love that you come to mix now, and it's so funny because it's
like you came to mix the yearafter the last time I was in
Pennsylvania and so I didn't getto meet you out there, and so
hopefully I'll get to come outto Pennsylvania and meet you
soon.

Speaker 1 (35:54):
Absolutely, that'd be nice.

Speaker 5 (35:56):
Yeah, mix is fun.
It's hot.
It's really hot because thedorms there don't have AC, but
everything else is amazing.

Speaker 2 (36:04):
It's the same way up in the pacific northwest.
They really yes, they're likewe don't need ac and it's like
you do year round oh yeah I had,like I got like heat exhaustion
up there in 2019 where I sleptin the car, like in the rental
car because, the windows downbecause it was just a center

(36:28):
block building and on the sidethat with the one window in my
room did not get the wind.
And so it was 96 degrees insideat night and it was so hot and
we went to like Dairy Queen, tolike cheer up the gang.
I was like, okay, guys, we'regoing to.

(36:50):
Dairy Queen.
And then they were like, yeah,we can do any food, but our ice
cream machines are down.
And I was like one would saythis is what you're known for.

Speaker 5 (37:00):
One would say this was your core.
When did Dairy Queen becomeMcDonald's?

Speaker 2 (37:04):
yeah, they were like yeah, they just can't keep up
with the weather like this justtwo weeks I was like yeah,
neither can I.
So like yeah, you need to adaptfor these two weeks, and so
it's very funny that, like thecoast, the like north coast,
schools are like, yeah, we justreally grin and bear it.
But hey, schools, or like youknow events, like us they're

(37:27):
like you can totally rent ourfacilities.

Speaker 1 (37:30):
We would love to sign a contract with you, please and
we're like all of this to saywe're very happy with our
relationship with juniata.
Oh, we are, and we would loveto continue to partner with them
in the future Best food at aCIY bin period?
It's not even close.

Speaker 5 (37:48):
Best food, Best cafeteria, best food Sonia the
lady that takes you in.

Speaker 2 (37:54):
Oh my gosh, she is heaven sent.
I was trying to return somekeys or something to some youth
ministers and I kept on goingthrough their like little
roundabout, like cafeteria thing, and she was like trying not to
count me when I would go in andlike, oh well, somebody left a

(38:15):
water bottle, somebody did this,and I was going to like give
them different things, differentyouth ministers, and finally
she like gave me like a dessertwhen I came in the next time and
I was like she was like honey.

Speaker 3 (38:28):
You need to eat, and I mean what school has a hibachi
?

Speaker 2 (38:33):
You know?

Speaker 5 (38:35):
Bro hibachi taco bar, like everything.

Speaker 2 (38:38):
Ice cream counter.
I mean, it's amazing.
I love Juniata.

Speaker 1 (38:42):
Anyway, we're not here to talk about Sonia.
We're here to talk about.
Collective Church, dj's church,collective Church and how they
are absolutely blowing up.
Hey, dj, when did you startthere?

Speaker 5 (38:57):
So I mean, I'll just give you the long short story.
So the church started, gotplanted officially in 2017.
Me and my wife, kaylee, wemoved up here in 2017 to be a
part of the launch team to helpeverything, and I just started
well, just started on set.
I'm on staff now for two and ahalf years as the groups and

(39:18):
youth director.

Speaker 1 (39:19):
Right.
So for most for the, for likethe first part of of that time,
you were likeivocational and didthe whole thing and were
helping out.

Speaker 5 (39:27):
Oh yeah, I sold cars, I worked at Chick-fil-A, I did
all the things, all the thingsHelping out here, and now you
just get to be a full-time youthpastor.

Speaker 1 (39:37):
These are some crazy numbers I'm going to throw at
you.
Mal you ready for this?

Speaker 2 (39:41):
Do you want?

Speaker 1 (39:41):
to do move or mix first.

Speaker 2 (39:47):
I lost you at numbers .

Speaker 1 (39:47):
We'll do mix first, okay DJ came to mix for the
first time in 2023 withCollective Church, brought 15
people.
2024 brought 24 people.
This year registered to bring31 people Group just keeps
growing.
That's awesome.
Move numbers are insane.

Speaker 5 (40:06):
Yeah, well, he doubled mix.
I might have to get weightlessmove 2022.

Speaker 1 (40:13):
Move brought four people four.

Speaker 2 (40:16):
2020 sorry, 2022, we're great brought four 23 let
me say, before you tell me, hedoubled his mix, so he went from
15 to this year he's going tobring 30.
Over the course of three years.
Yes, my expectation is he isgoing to bring eight.

Speaker 1 (40:36):
He brought eight in 2023.
The next year, he doubled.
Okay, and then he, more thandoubled again in 2024 and
brought 18.
And this year, if he adds onemore spot DJ you got to add one
more spot, bro He'll doubleagain.
He's currently registered tobring 35 people to Johnson
University of Tennessee.

Speaker 5 (40:57):
Congratulations on being part of a healthy growing
church.

Speaker 1 (41:00):
It's so amazing and I'm sure just like a fun ride to
be along for, if I'm guessing.

Speaker 5 (41:07):
It's absolutely incredible.
Our students are insane Likethey.
So what is crazy is being inthis area and the reason this
church got planted in this areain Frederick, Maryland, is this
county and the last censusbefore that, when they were
trying to pick an area over, itwas a I don't know the

(41:30):
percentage exactly, but it wasan overwhelming percentage of
people in this county checked.
Either they're not affiliatedwith religion or they're just
not religious at all.
So like right, right for theharvest, like this area needed
something.
There's churches here that arejust kind of like doing their
own thing.
They're not really reachingthese people.
So our goal is really just tolike do the opposite of

(41:53):
everything everyone else in thearea does and just go for it a
little bit.
Before I got the position foryouth ministry, we had a good
team of people and I was one ofthese people that would step in
help with youth in our free timeand kind of have some stuff
going on.
Um, and these kids, man, theyhave really like leaned in hard

(42:14):
like our kids right now they'relike in that junior senior stage
have been here and seen likethis full development and full
arc and they are leading likethe charge.
They are the ones likepromoting ciy to the max, like
telling sixth and seventhgraders like yo, you need to go
sign up for this thing becauseit will impact your life.
Like it, our students havereally like grasp onto the

(42:34):
culture of the things we do andit's been, it's been rapid fire,
it's been insane to keep upwith.

Speaker 1 (42:39):
Yeah, I bet it has Um .
So we want to talk specificallyabout how, like I think, the
role of youth pastor changes alittle bit as groups grow Like
when you're bringing four kidsto move?
I'm guessing.
If I remember correctly, wetalked about this you did not

(43:01):
bring any females with you.
No, you were the only leaderand it was just like you and
three kids piled in a minivan.

Speaker 5 (43:10):
I mean kind of it was me and two students and then
one of the students dad yeah,okay that was awesome.

Speaker 1 (43:17):
So much fun, but like that is a different job than
bringing 35 people to move oh,it's like totally different like
approach and I think for a lotof youth pastors there's some
almost like sadness as you stepout of that world where it's
like, oh, I can be you know kindof small group leader and youth

(43:41):
pastor and all of these thingsto all of these kids.
And as you kind of move intothis world where you're a little
bit more of a manager, you'retrying to like put all the
pieces in place, make sure thateverything happens well.
So, um, how, how?
I'm just curious how that'sbeen.
Like, do you look back on thetimes when you had two kids and
a dad going to move fondly orlike, do you miss that?

Speaker 5 (44:04):
I mean there's, there's always elements like I
miss of those things, but likealso at the same time, like
right, this is the dream.
I mean, brad, you, you knowthis because, uh, we went to
college together and grew upwith each other.
But, like you know, when youtalk about like having a youth
ministry and being invested instudents' lives and doing these
things, like these kind ofmomentum things and these

(44:27):
growing things, are all thethings you like kind of picture
in your head and daydream aboutas you're like getting prepared
to go in.
I mean we can skip the wholepart where, like oh, where's the
ministry jobs?
How do you get into one?
Is anyone going to give me ashot?
Like you can skip that wholepart, but like you always like a
dream about it and what itwould look like and for to be in
it.
Like, yeah, you look back likefondly at those times because it

(44:48):
was hard work put into.
Like what you're in now and youstill find yourself like still
daydreaming is like crazy.
Like what we're at now, um, weaverage about 50 students like
on a Wednesday night at ourweekly programming and we're
like bro, like that's, that'swhat we got rolling right now.
Like what does this look likein a year from now?
It's just like dreaming andpicturing that up, where you

(45:09):
talk about stepping out of it,being the one that does
everything, being the youthpastor.
You're the small group leader,you're the one the kids touch
base with, you're the one theparents reach out to and all of
those things.
There is a strong point and Iam, and all of those things.
There is a strong point and we,we, I am feeling all of the.
It's very relevant becausewe're feeling all the weight of

(45:30):
all of these is you've got todelegate, you've got to build a
good team, you've got to investin people, because you can not
carry it all on your own.
And what's hard about that isbecause when you're like a youth
group of like I don't know, Idon't know 15, 20 kids like
you're, you're getting solidtime and like there's awesome
kingdom work being invested inthose 15, 20 students.
But at the same time, like youknow, the impact is bigger and

(45:51):
you know you want to be able toreach more kids and you know how
important this is for more kids, but at the same time, it's
like I wouldn't say it's easierthen because you're still doing
all the things.
But at the same time, like you,the warm and fuzzies because

(46:12):
you're holding, you're havingthe small group conversations,
you're the one having thesebaptism conversations with
students, and now it's like, hey, I'm training, now I have to
minister to adults, to do like aportion of what I do, right,
like, and that's hard because apart of that is like letting go.
And it's hard to let go becausewhen, especially when you're
passionate about ministering tostudents and you're trying to
figure out now, it's like ohwait, a whole section of this is
actually ministering to adults,to minister to students and

(46:33):
that's how you get like greater,bigger impact on.
That's something like we'vebeen working through a lot.
Right now I do a coaching withRyan Arnold at Community
Christian Church in White Marsh,I love.
Ryan Arnold.
Ryan Arnold is dude.
He's like a youth ministry guru, yeah, uh, he's insane, yeah,

(46:53):
and I get a cool opportunity totalk with him like a biweekly,
weekly and we just kind of Ijust pick from him.
Honestly, like I, I have tocontinue to take in more
resources and take in more stuffto learn what.
What do we even do?
What do I do from here, right?

Speaker 1 (47:05):
So it's like everybody gets into youth
ministry cause they're like,well, I can get paid to play
putt puck golf on a Thursdayafternoon with a bunch of ninth
graders.
It's like, yeah, I'll do thatas my job, you know.
But then it very quicklybecomes something like way
different.
What are the um what?

(47:27):
What are?
What are you discovering?
Do you care to be a littlevulnerable?
Care to peel back some layers.
What are you?
discovering are like uh, thingsthat maybe you're not as
polished at that it's like ohman, I got a.
I didn't realize that I wasgoing to have to be good at this
, but I got to get good at this.

Speaker 5 (47:45):
Yo organization, uh, just in in general, like, uh, I
don't know that I was going tohave to be good at this, but I
got to get good at this.
Yo organization, just ingeneral.
I don't know how many youthministers say that, because it's
just the typical otterpersonality that we get boxed
into.
But, dude, organizationally itmakes sense up here, did you?

Speaker 1 (48:01):
just say, otter personality, yeah.

Speaker 5 (48:04):
Oh yeah, Otters the animal personality, the animal.

Speaker 2 (48:05):
You know, otters the animal personality, the animal.

Speaker 5 (48:07):
You know, otters they like floating their backs.

Speaker 2 (48:09):
Yeah, yeah, golden retriever, otter, lion, and
what's the other one?
What?

Speaker 1 (48:17):
Eagle.

Speaker 5 (48:19):
Is this like a?

Speaker 1 (48:19):
personality thing.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So wait, you can either be agolden retriever, an otter, yeah
so wait, you can either be agolden retriever, an otter, yeah
, a lion.

Speaker 2 (48:27):
A lion, so a lion would be like a red.
Okay, a golden retriever islike a, like a.
Royal no, they're blue.

Speaker 1 (48:37):
They've got to be blue.
Yeah, yeah, right, they're likea blue.

Speaker 2 (48:40):
And then an otter is a yellow.

Speaker 1 (48:42):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (48:43):
And then a white Is an eagle yellow.

Speaker 1 (48:52):
Yeah, and then a white is an eagle.
I just made that up it might bea beaver.

Speaker 2 (48:55):
It's a beaver.
Yeah.
Why'd they choose such weirdanimals?
No, because a beaver builds.

Speaker 1 (48:57):
I feel like I'm a beaver you're a beaver, I'm, so
on the color code, I have twolike I'm a red blue, which is a
weird combination, but you can'tbe two different animals here's
the deal.

Speaker 2 (49:09):
I've been them all.
Sure you can as I've.
As I've grown, I feel like Iwas in college.
I was an otter, I was a yellow,I was like, oh yeah, well, at
least.
In high school I was like I'mall over the place.
The back of my car looks like Ilive in it.
I am just having so much fun.

(49:30):
And then I was like, oh, oh,guess what If I clean the back
of my car?
People fit in it.
So I want more people around.

Speaker 1 (49:42):
So then you were a golden retriever.
So then I was a goldenretriever.
I was more like relationalemotional I've never heard of
any of this in my entire lifepeople come to places and spaces
where people are more invited.

Speaker 2 (49:54):
And then it was like oh, getting in the work space,
it was like, okay, I need to bemore organized and we need to
like figure things out andleadership.
Okay, I need to like kind ofwork on that side of me with
like the lion, but then at theend of the day, I'm a beaver,
like I really want everybody tolaugh and have fun, but I'm not

(50:20):
spontaneous.
Okay, I'm funny, I'm not fun.
I want to make plans with you,but not right now, I know it's
like we can have fun at a veryspecific designated time.
I got home, I parked my pants atthe door.
I'm watching TV and eating soup.
No, I did and I know.
And so it's like, yeah, I'm abeaver.

(50:42):
I'm never.
I've definitely heard the restof them.

Speaker 5 (50:45):
I want to get back to the rest of them.

Speaker 4 (50:48):
I want to get back to DJ golden retriever, though
Just to answer the question.

Speaker 1 (50:53):
Very happy with that, thank you.

Speaker 5 (50:56):
Bro Brad had lion moments in college, though Just
to give you like he, he waslying in college.

Speaker 1 (51:01):
I'm so confused.

Speaker 5 (51:04):
Okay, anyway, you were saying typical.

Speaker 1 (51:07):
So youth pastors stereotypically are otters
they're yellows, they're sevensthey want to be out there having
fun look at you, a neogram yeah, so.

Speaker 5 (51:20):
I interrupted you, I'm sorry.

Speaker 1 (51:22):
I took that train and I steered it right off the
tracks that's what a podcast isall about.

Speaker 5 (51:29):
That's every successful podcast.
I took that train and I steeredit right off the tracks.

Speaker 2 (51:33):
That's what a podcast is all about.
Is it that's?
Every successful podcast goesoff the tracks.

Speaker 1 (51:37):
I'm not sure that he should be explaining what a
podcast is to you, Brad.
I have said many times that Ihave no idea what I'm doing.
That's the best and that's finewith me.

Speaker 5 (51:46):
So anyway, DJ, you were saying Otter, otter, we're
organizationally dysfunctionalto a degree, I would say.

Speaker 1 (51:54):
Youth ministers like Did you know that otters hold
hands when they sleep, so theydon't float away from each other
?

Speaker 2 (51:59):
Yeah, do they really yeah?
And they take little stones.

Speaker 1 (52:02):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (52:02):
And they hold little stones.

Speaker 5 (52:03):
They like crack stuff .
They blow on their back andlike crack open the oysters.

Speaker 1 (52:06):
Otters are wild dude.
They're so cute.

Speaker 5 (52:08):
They're wild.
Okay, Also didn't know theywere a predator until Zootopia.

Speaker 1 (52:14):
Yeah, never seen it.

Speaker 5 (52:17):
I thought they were prey.

Speaker 2 (52:18):
I wouldn't have thought oh my gosh.

Speaker 5 (52:22):
Watch Zootopia, you'll learn a thing about.

Speaker 1 (52:24):
Okay, watch Zootopia, you'll learn a thing about
culture.
Okay, so you're pastors orotters and you had to learn
organizational skills.

Speaker 5 (52:29):
Organizational skills .
You know details like emailsand emails and emails and
responding and communication.
Like I am I mean just pointblank Like I know what my
strengths are.
Like I know I am a person whereI am really great relationally.
If someone is in the room, I amgreat at being with groups of

(52:52):
students and getting them onboard to do things.
I'm great with, like, being in.
When we get to the event or weget to the things, I'm fully
present, I'm in there and I'mcooking, right, like.
But when it comes to lead up tothings and planning things and
putting things out there, I fallshort like pretty big time and

(53:12):
those are things like I needhelp.
I can come up with ideas, I cancome up with good ideas, but my
follow through because of myhard to communicate what is
going on in here to other people, it falls through a lot of
times.
So I very much have people thatI'm surround myself with in
that I continue to surroundmyself with, that understand

(53:33):
what DJ language is in a way, sowe're able to what does that
look like in youth ministry?
specifically Like what peoplepeople um, um, yeah, you're like
surrounding yourself withpeople, you know what I mean.
Like for people for me thatlike surround myself, like for
me personally, I surround myselfwith, like some of my best

(53:56):
friends that are high levelleadership here at collective,
and I I always basically boldlyask all of them to be a part of
my team because, like I'm goingto stack this thing up like
fancy football, I'm going todraft the best possible team I
can so I can win as many gamesand win championships.

Speaker 1 (54:12):
And so I tried to fantasy football championships
to be on DJ.

Speaker 5 (54:16):
Well, in the collective I won in 2020.
So okay.
I'm doing pretty good this year, but I want to start.
Thanks.
We actually have two leaguesand I got relegated so I'm in a
bottom league.
So I'm trying to get out ofthat league this year, but I'm
doing good.

Speaker 1 (54:36):
As long as you're the best of the worst then, you'll
get back to where you were meantto be Be the best of the worst,
yeah.

Speaker 5 (54:42):
So I surround myself with these people that like
understand me relationally andlike they're kind of probably in
my smaller circle, in my crew,and they help kind of put me on
the path and Help point me likein things that I need to do a
little bit better.
When it comes to my team and mysmall, small group leaders, I

(55:02):
Mean right now, like be honest,we grew faster like I kid wise,
student wise than we did as ateam wise and like that happens,
and we're in like the growingpains of a lot of that.
So we're in the process ofreally like recruiting and
growing our team right now, soso we can like manage all of
these students Great problem tohave, but at the same time it

(55:23):
can be absolute chaos.

Speaker 2 (55:26):
So yeah, what was the thing that kind of kick-started
that growth, like going fromyou know a handful of students
to 50 on a week basis?

Speaker 5 (55:41):
Yeah, I would say one thing it's one of our values
here is faith.
That's bold, and one of the bigthings we're always going to do
is we're going to do boldthings.
I'll test back to when we wereregistering just to bring on
this CIY podcast.
So let's talk about CIY for asecond.
Like we'll go back to CIY goinginto last year when we were

(56:04):
talking about registrations andlooking at what the youth group
was at.
I had a meeting.
I was talking with my friend,boss and head pastor and we were
talking and essentially likewe're sitting there.
He's like, well, what do youthink is going to happen?
I was like I mean, we can playit safe and get this amount of
registrations right now, but Ithink we need to just go for it

(56:25):
and just see what happens.
And you know that comes withlike us also like working things
out.
Like other churches havedifferent funds, we got to do
things a little bit differently.
Sometimes you got to be alittle creative, but it's a it's
a bold, it's a bold move.
So we shout out and we got moreregistrations and then we
thought probably would be safefor us and it panned out and we

(56:45):
end up bringing, you know 15students, three or three adults
last year to move and we end upbringing 20 students to mix.
Last year, it's, it's.
You know, coming up with thisidea of an event is like, hey,
man, like I I don't know where,where we sit right now because
we're rapidly growing but like,let's do it, like, throw as much

(57:06):
stuff against the wall and seewhat sticks right now.
And you know, if we build itout, if we work really hard on
this, set it up the way it'ssupposed to be, students will
come, things will go well, likeright.
And if it doesn't, these kidsbarely know what youth group's
supposed to look like anyways,because they're in such an
unchurched area Like they don'tknow what youth group's supposed

(57:28):
to be, they're going to havefun.
What we think is what we strivefor is perfection and all of
these other things, and thereality is is like, yeah, I
still strive to do the best youcan do, but with we're leaving
on a Wednesday night thinking,ah man, that was like mid right,
like that wasn't that great,like these students, it's the
best night of, and I can't arguewith that.

(57:49):
So we're going to continue todo bold things, we're going to
continue to set the bar high andsee what happens and you know,
if it completely was terrible,we'll just scratch it again.
They don't know.
But at the same time it's likethese students need you to keep
picking up things.
And Ryan Arnold not to mentionhim again, but I talk to him a
lot he said there's two thingsthat every youth ministry should

(58:13):
be putting into place and aslong as you have these two
things, you're going to be justfine and you can try as many
things you are.
And number one is like strongbiblical teaching which, like I,
a hundred percent stand by.
What we teach every single weekand we actually with our small
group material and our Wednesdaynight material, it's
intentionally the same as whatis going on on Sunday mornings
with the adults.
And we do this so the students', parents and them can be

(58:37):
actively having the sameconversations throughout the
week and some topics right,we're in a giving series.
So we'll mix it up a little bitmore and like we'll take
different acts, like you know,go at it from a different angle,
but ultimately it's studentsand parents and adults are all
being fed kind of like the samething as a whole church.

(58:57):
So strong biblical teaching islike number one for us and
number two is having adults thatgenuinely care about students
like having like their smallgroup leaders, like are in their
lives.
These are people when likestuff is not going well, they
are reaching out to and we'reseeing that actively and I I owe
that to our leaders foractually like being present in

(59:20):
the room in small groups andbeing vulnerable.
We talk about leaders go first.
A lot, like I'd say for me,anytime I'm speaking to students
or anytime one of our leadersare speaking to students, we're
very open, honest and real aboutwhat we're going through in our
life right now and what we wentthrough in our life then.
Because I mean, I've beenaround so many adults like when

(59:40):
I was and this is not likeslamming, like any of the things
I was a part of but I've beenaround adults in my childhood
that were so fake and meanwhilethey're doing this one thing and
leading you one way, but yetlike they don't put any of this
stuff into practice in theirlives and they're not honest
about like hey, you know what,like I'm struggling, like you
know what.
Why are we holding that back?

(01:00:03):
Like we need to be.
I mean, I'm not going to sithere and, like you know, say
explicit things to students, ofcourse, but I'm going to be open
, honest about them when I'mstruggling with my mental health
and self-doubt and things likethat, like I know they all are.
It's 2024.
Kids' minds are like splatteredacross the wall right now and

(01:00:24):
the more open to us we are realabout what we're going on, it's
going on in our lives, likethat's just reciprocated.
Kids grasp to that, like theydon't want you to sit here and
talk about things that don'tlike, not to say they don't
matter.
But there's no point in sittinghere talking about things just
to talk about things.
Talk about how it's activelyplaying an impact in your life.

(01:00:45):
Talk about what you'restruggling with.
Talk about how this impacts you.
And we've seen, because of that, vulnerability in that step and
I hold our small group leadersto a pretty high standard when
it comes to that and they do agreat job.
Our church is pretty cutthroatas it begins in that level, so
they kind of are used to it.
But, man, our leaders do such aphenomenal job at setting that

(01:01:08):
bar when we go into small groupand creating that space.
We do something that's calledSashay Emotions with every
single small group we do here atCollective and this comes from
a retreat, and Sashay stands forsad, angry, scared, happy,
excited, tender.
And we put these emotions onthe floor every time we go in

(01:01:30):
and each student, even if it'syour first time, we have them.
Them check in and you can be asurface or as deep as you want
and it's your time to shareexactly how you're feeling with
everything like at this momentand just giving them these
simple core emotions to workthrough.
It's just.
We just continue to providethem with helpful tools.
So I word vomit so much.

(01:01:50):
I don't even know if I answereda question.
You didn't.
I'm sorry, I word vomit so much.
I don't even know if I answereda question.

Speaker 1 (01:01:53):
You didn't.

Speaker 5 (01:01:54):
I'm like a politician man, I'm all over the place.

Speaker 2 (01:01:58):
No, you just took me to emotions.

Speaker 1 (01:02:01):
I was like man, yeah, the whole time I was sitting
there thinking like, oh my gosh,my biggest thing is I lead a
group of eighth grade guys rightnow.

Speaker 4 (01:02:10):
Best.

Speaker 2 (01:02:15):
I like eighth grade.
I have fifth grade, girls andman.
I can't imagine.
They would sashay to an emotion.
They'd be like Fosse.
Fosse, Fosse, Fosse.

Speaker 1 (01:02:25):
They would.

Speaker 2 (01:02:27):
It would be amazing.

Speaker 1 (01:02:30):
So I lead a group with another guy and we like the
big battle that I feel likewe're fighting right now is how
do we help our students be, like, more emotionally intelligent,
like they never talk about howthey feel?
So we resorted to, just likethe classic happies and crappies
.
So every time we met with our Dgroup, we do happies and

(01:02:50):
crappies.
So every time we met with our dgroup, we do happies and
crappies, but they're alwayslike my crappy is the chief's
lost and I'm like but like the,the sachet thing, like that
could I'm?
I'm sitting here thinking, boy,that could be an angle that
might actually really reallyhelp us out.
So so, anyway, thanks for that.
Yeah, man.

Speaker 5 (01:03:11):
No, no, dude, of course, like I.
I mean we use it in our men'sgroups, we use it in our women's
groups, like it's, it's beenkind of put into the culture and
the way we do groups, like as awhole, like it gives you a, it
makes you think for a second.
I mean, like you'd be like oh,I'm excited because, like right,
like you said, the chiefs.
I'm excited Cause, like thechiefs games this weekend, like

(01:03:32):
yeah, you could say that, butlike, and the levels up there
for students to go as deep asshallow as they want, but like
then you get to the student,that's just like, hey, my, my
parents like just don't getalong, like they're divorced.
And I'm going back and forth,I'm just exhausted.
Like the floor is open and themore you do it like the
repetition, whatever it lookslike.
I think there's another onecalled a high, low Buffalo that

(01:03:54):
our church resident does withhis family, and it's just like
one high thing from the week,one low thing and one random one
.
I'm like, oh, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:04:05):
I think we did that with art.
Why did you say now JustBuffalo, Buffalo, Buffalo.
Oh yeah with art.
Why did you say mouth justbuffalo, buffalo, buffalo.
Oh yeah, yeah, they would, theywould.
Oh, my mind like my eyes.
If it looks like I'm zoning outbecause now we record this
podcast, it's because, when yousaid fantasy football.
I heard fancy football and Ijust thought of all of you still

(01:04:25):
having like, even though youthministers don't wear cargo
shorts anymore.
It's like you have more likeshorts on, but nice little
jackets.
When you picked your rosterLike that's what my brain does
Anything that is said that Ihear and then my eyes just go.

(01:04:47):
Oh, you said DJ language and soI said dirty bit boom, boom,
boom, boom, like the Black EyedPeas, and they're like I'm head
of the demo, like that's what.

Speaker 1 (01:05:02):
I was like so, that's Miles Buffalo for the podcast.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it'slike that's my brain.

Speaker 2 (01:05:07):
Is that you were like I?
Need somebody to speak yeah, djlanguage language.
And then he was like yeah,ministry language.
I was like oh, I went adifferent way and I was like
black eyed and so like yeah,that's my brain, is that it
codes like a little wheel and itgoes this is from this, from

(01:05:28):
this mind, understand everything.

Speaker 5 (01:05:29):
I 100% understand everything you said, though Like
I get it Because I am.

Speaker 2 (01:05:33):
I am a middle schooler, I am a sixth grader
that writes for sixth graders,Like that's the thing.
I'm like fancy football Forsure.
Got it.
Okay.
Like there is a part of me.
We were unpacking our cases andI was talking to somebody who
was it and like our cases.

(01:05:53):
And I was talking to somebodywho was it and like I, I went
home and I couldn't sleepbecause someone was like, ah,
pro wrestling.
And I was like we didn't writea sketch that was pro wrestling,
like wrestlers, like peopletrying to wrestle, not sleeping.
Like I didn't write an ad aboutsomeone trying to get to sleep
and trying to rest for rest ofyour life, are you kidding me?

(01:06:14):
It was like are you trying toget to sleep tonight?
And then it was like twoluchadors come in and try to
wrestle you to sleep are youkidding me?
And like I'm like, well, burnit to the ground you know I have
one programming rule.

Speaker 1 (01:06:29):
I'm not a programmer, but my one rule of programming
is you can never have enoughluchadors.

Speaker 2 (01:06:33):
I know so I like I'm telling you I didn't get over it
for like a week I was likewrestler commercial.
You missed it like I'm.

Speaker 1 (01:06:44):
I'm not over it still anyway, yeah, if you need to
keep processing, you can.

Speaker 2 (01:06:49):
I'm gonna move on, but feel free to circle back if
you need to my the innermachinations of my mind are an
enigma, they indeed are likepatrick star

Speaker 1 (01:07:03):
um, all right, so youth group is kind of small and
it's like you feel like yourrole is really pastored all of
those people You're a relationalguy.
Um, now, based on where thisconversation has gone, I feel
like you're kind of describingyour role as like dreamer, like

(01:07:25):
where, what's you know?
What can we do?
What's going to work, what'snot going to work?
What let's you you I think youuse the expression like throwing
stuff at the wall and seeingwhat sticks.
Um, what, what do you think isnext?
Like, if you continue to grow,what's next for for you, you

(01:07:46):
know?

Speaker 2 (01:07:47):
Yeah, yeah, let's see , I'm just kidding, no, you also
can have that, because alsothat's a lot of pressure,
because he's like I'm trying tokeep up friends man I love dj so
much, I'm just gonna I do loveyou so much, I know, I know dude
, uh, actually, when mal, whenmal was talking about the fancy

(01:08:09):
football and she was talkingabout guys wearing shorts and
blazers.

Speaker 1 (01:08:13):
I was like I think I've seen a picture of DJ in
like hot pink Chino shorts and ablazer.

Speaker 5 (01:08:22):
Really.

Speaker 1 (01:08:22):
Is that a?
Thing?

Speaker 5 (01:08:24):
Maybe I don't know, bro.
Yeah, it doesn't sound wrong, Imean you can go deep on the
Facebook hole if you want toMight have to do that, anyway,
am.
I allowed to ask questions onthis podcast.

Speaker 1 (01:08:35):
or am I not Mal?
No, you are, I don't know.

Speaker 2 (01:08:38):
I just didn't want to put pressure.

Speaker 1 (01:08:43):
He's doing such a good job now.
Dj what question do you want meto ask you?

Speaker 5 (01:08:45):
No, you're good, I'll answer the question, you're
fine.
So I would say this issomething like, hey, let's go
write vulnerability to the max,let's keep going.
I would say, actually, thissummer, like as great as a
summer as it was for YouthCollective, ciy, like even
coming back, like I would pointto our high schoolers, like

(01:09:08):
specifically our high schoolers,like they're running right now,
um, we've baptized threestudents from ci, like that went
on ci trips this summer, uh,from move specifically, and we
have another one that's on theway and they are all they're
supportive each other's great.
Um, the rest of the studentsthat are coming in and like

(01:09:28):
joining this, like are seeingthis and they're like attracted
to it and like really justjoining into the whole thing.
So it like what could be clickand like grouped off, like is
not feeling that way at all,which is really great.
Um, but you know all thesegreat things happening for me
personally, right, like it, youget, you grow, you grow so fast.

(01:09:49):
You find yourself just caughtin the do, do, do, do, do cycle.
You're like, oh man, things aregoing, I've got to juggle all
these things and you findyourself lacking vision and
becoming a manager of a ministry, and I'd say that's something
that came hardcore for me,especially as we got out of the
summer, recognized it, aware ofit, had conversations had to

(01:10:12):
come up with and, like right nowwe're in the process of
building out, like in actuallygetting more focused on the
vision.
We have a big thing that we weuse for leadership and it's the
three C's, which is care,clarity and challenge.
Three C's, which is care,clarity and challenge, um, and

(01:10:35):
it's like a Venn diagram withlike a triangle Venn diagram and
you can fall anywhere, likelike people filled this out for
you essentially and you'retrying to, as a leader, meet
them at what would be a seven,which is like the center, which
would be at the center.
Um, and, as I found out, I'mreally good at care.
Um, I'm terrible at challengingpeople and I lack giving people
clarity.
So it was, it was kind of aneyeopening moment for me to

(01:10:57):
where I was like, oh man, ifwe're going to lead this thing
on, like first off, I alwaysfeel bad challenging volunteers
because, like, right, they'regiven their time to be here,
like I want to give them thingsto do, I want them to be a part
of this, but at the same time,like the end of the day, like
it's not their job, like, andthat's a headspace.
I got to get myself out and belike hey, they didn't say no,
they're here to do this.
Like we're all in this together, um.

(01:11:19):
But at the same time too, whenyou're managing, you are not
providing true clarity of whatthis is working towards.
So, at the same time, like itcould just feel like, are we
just like a school right?
Like, is this just middleschool or high school as they
graduate out?
And then what like?
What are?
What are we building towards?
What are we going towards?
So right now, I'm working onclarity for what our youth group

(01:11:39):
looks like on a, you know, 12month span of what our years
look like as we continue to grow.
I mean, the dream man is reallythat.
I mean we are so big and likestudents are like really coming
here, like, and that we're ableto.
Right now we're going to, we'reactually looking into we didn't

(01:11:59):
start rhythms yet, but we'reactually going to be doing
rhythms in January with selectstudents that are kind of taking
that next step in the level up,starting multiple ministries
that come off of the youthministry whole, like so we have
like our program.
We have our small groups, we'rerecruiting people, we're doing
all the right things.
We're building this thing up,but at the same time there's got

(01:12:19):
to be other small avenues forstudents to come in and be a
part of things.
There's got to be, there's gotto be more on ramps.
There's got to be some eventswhere we're doing this fun thing
here or there like a big bringyour friends out kind of thing,
where we're creating themomentum of more people to be
here.
And the reason ultimately rightmore people are coming here is
so these students can know whoJesus is, learn what it's like

(01:12:42):
to follow him, and then applythat to their life, because
there's no better time than nowin their lives, rather than
being 28, 32, being like, oh,now I have to like install these
disciplines into my alreadydeveloped brain in the way I do
things.
Bro, if they can do this, likethat's the thing we talked about
mental health with.
And I was like, hey, you guys'brains are just still being

(01:13:02):
developed.
Like I don't mean anything bythat, but like you know, if you
guys make these habits now, likewhen you're my age, you won't,
you won't be, you'll stillstruggle, right, like storms are
coming Like there's no dodge inthat it's going to be terrible,
but at the same time, like youwill have these rooted inside of
you through all of this.
So like that's that's kind ofthe clarity point is always

(01:13:25):
pointing back to those thingswhen we come to it.
But at the same time, rightlike I don't have all the
answers.
I'm not, Mr like perfect youthminister.
I was a black sheep at mostthrough most of my
ministry-esque findings andthrough college.
But you know what, like, we'refiguring it out, we're gonna

(01:13:45):
push through and we're gonnacontinue to grow and I think a
lot of that right Like clarityis attested.
Like the things that weactively do do now it's just
taking refining those andcontinuing to simplify as we
move forward.
Like I think simplifying is abig thing.
We talk like my pastor bringsthis up all the time Like Apple

(01:14:06):
at one point had like all thesedifferent projects and then
Steve jobs came in and cut itdown to like five and then now
they're.
What does anyone have anandroid?
Like, if someone has a greentext, you are not friends with
them.

Speaker 1 (01:14:19):
No, so, yeah, no like so ryan arnold has an android
yeah, dude, he does, and it'sfrustrating.

Speaker 5 (01:14:27):
It's really frustrating.
He keeps claiming he's gettingan iPhone soon too.

Speaker 1 (01:14:32):
I'll believe it when I see it, anyway, wow.

Speaker 2 (01:14:36):
Everybody on an Android just clicked out of this
podcast, yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:14:41):
They feel my lines.

Speaker 5 (01:14:44):
So when we talk, about managing a growing youth
group.
I guess the thing is, I'm notsaying you grind through it, but
at the same is, like you, youjust you put like I'm not saying
you grind through it, but atthe same time, man, you gotta,
you gotta put your head to itand rely on people, rely on
people around you, and you gottastick to the things that matter
the most and like simplifythose as much as you can, and
when those things are crystalclear, other things will happen.

Speaker 1 (01:15:07):
Yeah, it's good, it's good stuff.
And uh, a good, a good note toend on?
I think so.
Um, dj, as much as it pains me,pains pains me, because I just
love looking at your beautifulface.
Um, I think we need to let yougo, you know, but you've given

(01:15:30):
us lots to chew on.
And um, congratulations on yourministry thriving and growing
and um, all the good things thatyou guys are doing out there in
Frederick, and, uh, we'll bepraying that that the Lord
continues to bless you and yourministry.

Speaker 5 (01:15:46):
Thanks Brad, thanks Mallory.

Speaker 2 (01:15:48):
Absolutely.
It's so nice to meet you.

Speaker 1 (01:15:53):
I love DJ.
I love that conversation Realquick.
My favorite thing that he saidthat we didn't really get to
elaborate on a lot, but that Ithink is just gold was when he
was talking about how, as ouryouth ministry grows, a lot of
times we're just like fightingto keep our head above water and

(01:16:13):
when that happens, you tend tolike put as many things on
cruise control as you possiblycan, just so that you can feel
like you've kind of like goteverything under control.
But positioning yourself andpositioning your role and
bringing people in from aroundyou so that you can continue to
dream and continue to build forwhatever's next and not just

(01:16:37):
manage, is just a reallyimportant piece of that puzzle
and I'm grateful that youbrought that up.
So, anyway, I would love tofinish up our time together, mal
, if you wouldn't mind, byreading our blessing over our
listeners.

Speaker 2 (01:16:52):
I would love to Thanks I would love to.
May God show you grace andbless you.
May he make his face shine onyou.
May you experience the love ofChrist, through whom God gives
you fullness of life.
May you be strengthened by hispower.
May Christ himself make hishome in your heart, that you

(01:17:13):
would be full of his love andgrace and that those you serve
would see Jesus in you thank youto my buddy, dj, for being here
.

Speaker 1 (01:17:30):
Thanks Mal for being here.
It was a great conversation.
Excited to circle back up againin two weeks and have a
conversation with Becca Binkyabout creating a welcoming
environment in our studentministries for students with
disabilities.
So that's going to be a greatconversation.
In the meantime, you can feelfree to reach out to us on the
CYY community Facebook group orby email at podcast at CYcom.

(01:17:53):
See you next time, thank you.