Why Avoiding Your Feelings is Sometimes the Best Choice For Alienated Parents
In episode 135 of The Beyond The High Road Podcast, Shelby Milford discusses the concept of intentional avoidance and its benefits for maintaining emotional balance and peace in the chaos of parental alienation. She shares her personal experiences and challenges with avoidance, unhealthy coping mechanisms, and societal beliefs about emotions. Shelby delves into the Dual Process Model of Bereavement developed by Strobe and Schut, which proposes a dynamic approach to grief management through oscillation between loss-oriented and restoration-oriented tasks. This model encourages a balanced, individualized, and compassionate approach to processing grief and rebuilding life. Shelby emphasizes the importance of taking breaks from intense emotions and intentionally shifting focus to practical life activities and new goals, thus promoting resilience and adaptation for alienated parents.
00:00 Introduction and Episode Overview
01:00 Personal History with Avoidance
01:51 Conflicting Beliefs About Emotions
03:22 Coping Mechanisms and Their Impact on Alienation
08:33 Introduction to the Dual Process Model
18:14 Loss-Oriented Tasks in Grief for Alienated Parents
23:16 Restoration-Oriented Tasks in Grief
25:10 Balancing Loss and Restoration As Alienated Parents
29:01 Conclusion and Final Thoughts
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