Lost in Translation: How to Say “No”, without wounding a Type 2

We’re back from break and digging into Type 2 (The Helper) in our Lost in Translation series. What you mean as a simple boundary,“Thanks, I’m good”,can land as rejection to a Two. Damon and Kelly unpack common misinterpretations, offer exact phrases that keep connection and clarity, and share a few “gut triad” confessions about learning to ask for help.

What gets “Lost in Translation” for Type 2

When you say “I don’t need your help,” a Two may hear:

• “You’re not valuable.”
• “You’re making this about you.”
• “You’re too much / smothering.”
• “We’re fine without you.”
• “You crossed a boundary.”

Say It Better (Exact Scripts)

Use/adjust these word-for-word:

1. Affirm + Boundary

• “Thank you, that was really thoughtful. For this one, I need to handle it myself.”
• “I can tell you care. I’m okay for now, but I appreciate you checking.”

1. Affirm + Future Invite

• “You’re great at spotting needs. I’m covered at the moment; if that changes, I’ll reach out.”
• “Could we hold off for now while I get my arms around it? If I need a hand later, I’ll let you know.”

1. Normalize Support

• “I’m learning to ask for help better. If that comes up here, you’ll be the first I ask.”

Why this works

Type 2s link worth to being helpful. Appreciation + clarity keeps connection intact while honoring boundaries.

Reframes & Reflection

• For Speakers (all types):
  • “Am I rejecting the help or the person?”
  • “Can I name their intention before I say no?”
  • “Do I actually need help and pride is answering for me?”
• For Type 2s:
  • “Is this a ‘no’ to the task or a ‘no’ to me?”
  • Truth to practice: “I’m wanted for what I do, and loved for who I am.”

One-week Practice

• Pick one script above and use it once this week.
• If you’re a Two, allow yourself one clean no and receive one no without a story.

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