October 29, 2024 • 11 mins
Is making the right decision about more than just weighing pros and cons? Join us as we unravel the complexities of decision-making on this episode of Big Questions, Short Answers. We'll explore how to turn decision-making from a paralyzing dilemma into an empowering process. With practical insights and real-life examples, Sian and Andy will guide you through the essentials of evaluating your options with clarity and confidence. You'll learn how to approach decisions from multiple perspectives, ensuring outcomes that align with your values and goals.
Through engaging anecdotes and actionable advice, we’ll illustrate why courage and honesty are critical in the decision-making process. Whether you're contemplating a major career move or simply choosing a yogurt flavor, our discussion will help you break down your choices in a meaningful way. Get ready to rethink your approach to decision-making with tips that range from old-school pros and cons lists to examining the broader context of your decisions. Tune in to equip yourself with the tools you need to make better decisions in both your personal and professional life.
For more content, check out Sian's website sianjaquet.com, and her online course: Create The Life You Truly Love.
www.sianjaquet.com
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Oh, come on.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
And it's, and it's, and it's, and it's.
Speaker 1 (00:06):
No talking during the podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
You can't give everybody else in this family.
He's got to have the last wordsand he has.
Welcome to Big Questions.
Short Answers I'm Sian.
Speaker 1 (00:17):
And I'm Andy Sian's husband asking the big life
questions.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
And possibly adding a little bit of unsolicited
advice.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
Maybe this podcast is brought to you by Sharm's
value-based online course.
Visit sharmjacketcom to findout more.
How do you make good decisions?
This is what we're talkingabout, Because, whether that's
in work, whether that's inpersonal life, whether that's
whatever, we often well, I don't, you know stress oh, my God, is
(00:47):
this going to be the rightdecision you can make?
Speaker 2 (00:50):
So is the question making the right decision or
just making a decision?
Speaker 1 (00:55):
Oh right, Okay Well, we'll deal with procrastination
at another time.
But being able to make theright decision, I think, for
yourself.
Speaker 2 (01:09):
Go on.
Speaker 1 (01:10):
Well, you know how you can make a decision where,
even if it's the wrong decision,you can.
It doesn't turn out well, youcan be comfortable in that
decision to say, well, yeah,that's the decision I made at
the time because that's what Ibelieved was right.
Speaker 2 (01:27):
It depends on the decision, but essentially, if
you're making a decision aboutsomething that is going to have
a material effect in your life,yes, Maybe you'd just talk.
Speaker 1 (01:37):
Should we talk about just work, or should we talk
about personal, or mix the both?
Speaker 2 (01:42):
Well, you've just opened the door now to it,
haven't you?
I mean, you knowdecision-making is very
different in differentenvironments for different
reasons.
But let's bring it back down tothe ABC.
If you've got a decision tomake, should I apply for that
job?
Should I move house?
Should we send the kids to thatschool?
You know it's the differencebetween you, know that?
(02:05):
Or, what flavour of yoghurt amI going to buy in the
supermarket?
Yeah, to me it's so, given thedecision has a substantive
reason to be made, yeah, so ifyou need to make a decision, ye
olden days, pen and paper andit's not computer, it is
literally pen and paper.
Okay, because it's slower andit takes more thought and
process to pick up a pen, writeon a piece of paper and create
your thoughts.
(02:25):
So the basic way of doing it isthe pros and cons, isn't it
Right?
Write the list of the pros andcons.
We've all done that.
So that's a very basic way ofdoing it.
So if you want to take it tothe next step, the questions I
would ask somebody is why do youneed to make this decision?
What's the context of it, right?
Yes, why are you making it?
Once you've clarified that,then you look at what I call the
(02:50):
different perspectives.
So you know, thosemerry-go-rounds in children's
playgrounds, the ones that arelike sectioned, like a piece of
cake that goes round and round.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's greatIf you think of the decision in
that way, it's like all cut intodifferent and it's spinning
around.
What I would ask anybody to dois look at the different
perspectives.
If you make the decision,what's the outcome?
(03:12):
If you stand from thatperspective, what about that
perspective?
And you look at all of the waysin which that decision is going
to affect your life yeah, mytime, my effort, the pros and
cons of doing it.
Is it going to move me forward?
Is it going to be dangerous?
Is it going to be healthy?
Who is it going to upset?
You know, all of those thingsand it's having the courage to
(03:35):
be honest about it.
Again, you can come back tothat word so often.
When you're making a decision,you really need to have the
courage to look at it from asmany perspectives as you can.
Then I would be saying that toevaluate, you need to then look
at if I'm making this decision,what is the outcome?
What am I looking for?
(03:55):
Again, it comes back to why doI need to make this decision?
Let's look at something likemoving a house.
Whether you own or whether yourent, it doesn't really matter.
You know this isn't working.
We need more space, or whateverthe reasons are.
Yeah, work out why you need tomake that decision.
Are they real?
And if so, then you look atwhat are the resources needed?
(04:17):
to make that decision?
Yeah, and what is the plan toget from A to B?
The other thing is, once you'vedone all of that, then it's
about weighing your options, andwe hear that phrase a lot.
You know you're weighing upyour options.
Well, I think you actually needa process to do that.
Yeah, and when you're weighingoptions, it's only when you've
(04:42):
literally got the core criteriaof why I'm making the decision.
I'm doing it because I needmore space.
I need it because this is tooexpensive.
I need it because I need to.
The location needs to change,because getting to work or doing
living life is too difficultright.
Once you have the reasons behind, so you're verifying the belief
(05:02):
.
These are my reasons, these aremy beliefs.
Speaker 1 (05:05):
Then making decisions becomes so much easier because
a lot of people well, a lot ofpeople, probably me kind of when
they make a decision can findall the reasons why they have to
do something, you know, but butdon't actually look at the
potential negatives, the otherside.
It's quite difficult to kind oflook at that.
Speaker 2 (05:25):
Well, I would argue with you because you do, you
become constipated with I can'tdo it, in case it's not right
and it doesn't work out and it'snot the right thing.
Ah, true.
So, for instance, if you'regoing just like an obvious one
with you it's like anever-ending narrative I need a
piece of equipment for my work,I need a light, I need a camera,
I need a whatever, and thefirst thing you'll do is drag me
(05:46):
into a conversation.
What do you think?
I want you to look at this andI'm like well, it may as well be
written in Swahili.
I don't know what.
You need a light for, or a bitfor your camera, or a lens or
whatever, and we have the samejiggly dumps.
You know, I say to you everytime I love the jiggly dumps.
Oh, we do have a jiggly dump.
And I say to you what do youneed it for?
right right, and once youverbalize well, I've got this
(06:10):
coming up, or I've done thesetwo things and I didn't have it,
and that's the problem itcaused.
And I've now got three thingscoming up where I can use this
and it's going to add and it'sgoing to do this and do that,
right, so you've done theevaluation.
Okay, the value basis.
Why do I need to do this?
Yeah, then I say to you well,all of that's logical, so why
(06:32):
are you asking me the?
Speaker 1 (06:32):
question.
Speaker 2 (06:32):
Yeah, but it costs $500.
Right, right, just pulling anumber out of my head here yeah,
and I will then say have yougot $500?
Yeah, if you have and you needit, then that's investing in
your business, and you've givenme the rationale.
If, on the other hand, you'rebuying it because you saw
(06:55):
somebody else with their kit andthey had it and you thought, oh
, that looks nice, oh, I'd liketo learn and play with that but
it's not actually necessary,yeah, where it's not adding to
the Well it's value withbusiness.
It's value add.
You know it's those kind ofdecisions, but it's interesting.
You have an inbuilt fear ofmaking the wrong choice.
Speaker 1 (07:15):
Yeah, yeah, I do.
Speaker 2 (07:17):
What would happen if it's not the right one?
What will happen if youcatastrophize?
You're very good at wrappingyourself up in constant going
over and over and over and overand over.
Because you don't like change,as I say, because you're
frightened, you don't make adecision, You'd rather not make
a decision.
Speaker 1 (07:35):
Yeah, true, true.
I'd rather not make a decision.
It's about everything really.
Speaker 2 (07:40):
One of the other things which you know.
In my head it's kind of statingthe obvious because of my
belief systems If you have adecision to make, it needs to be
in congruence with your values.
Yeah, I think that's the keyit's in congruence with your
values and it works out.
The headiness of beingcompetent, of making a good
choice, makes us feel reallygood as human beings.
(08:02):
You know, we human beings, wehave succeeded, we have done a
good thing by making the rightchoice.
And when it's, as I say, ifit's in line with your values,
it adds a whole euphoric bit.
Speaker 1 (08:13):
Because if it's not in line with your values, it
doesn't feel very kind ofawkward, absolutely, and that's
what unravels you?
Speaker 2 (08:19):
Yeah, and make that decision Again.
It might not be about buyingsomething.
It might be aboutwhistleblowing.
It might be about callingsomebody out.
It might be about sayingsomething that you can no longer
keep your gob shut about.
As long as things are in linewith your values, the chances
are you'll be able to put yourhead on your pillow and live
with the choices that you'vemade.
And the same thing you knowwhen you're talking about going
(08:41):
out and buying something.
You know making a choice,making a decision.
Speaker 1 (08:51):
If you're filtering it through your values, the
chances are you will make a gooddecision For yourself.
It might not be the rightdecision for another person,
somebody who like, for example,from a values perspective,
somebody who likes money, andanother person who likes
contribution, choosing adifferent job that has got less
pay, but you're contributing.
For some people it might be thewrong decision, but if it's in
(09:13):
line with your values, then it'sthe right decision.
Speaker 2 (09:15):
Yeah probably a tiny bit more complicated than that.
No, no, no, I do.
I'm not taking a diss, I'mbeing really honest with you
Again.
World according to Sian.
Just an observation here youknow the world is getting so
fast and there is so much morechoice, so much more of
everything.
Making decisions.
I just think we're very, verytired of it.
(09:35):
I mean, the story I will tellabout making decisions in the
last few years is when I've goneback to the UK and gone into
Tesco's and I stand at thesupermarket and I look literally
50, 60, 70 different kinds ofbottled water, yeah, yeah.
And I'm thinking what the actual?
(09:57):
Yeah, I know yeah there is somuch of everything that you know
you're thinking about doing theshopping for the family and all
the practicalities of it, butalso making all those choices.
It's tiring, mate.
Yeah, yeah, tiring Buyingclothes, buying things, but just
life in general.
There are so many more choicesthat we have to make and I think
(10:19):
one of the things we could dois just recognise sometimes it's
I'm very tired of makingdecisions, so I'm going to stop
for a minute.
That opens the door to work,because making decisions in a
working environment that is awhole different subject.
Speaker 1 (10:33):
Oh, maybe we'll talk about that at another time, but
I've made the decision to bringthis to a close because we're up
to time.
Speaker 2 (10:43):
Oh, you're a funny man Not in a half-hour way up to
time.
Oh yeah, rough money man, Notin a half-hour way.
Speaker 1 (10:49):
Join us next time on Big Questions.
Short Answers with Sian Jacquetand me, andy.
Speaker 2 (10:55):
If you have any questions you want to ask,
please send them via the websitesiansjacquetcom.
Speaker 1 (11:01):
If you enjoyed this podcast, please subscribe and
share it with everyone you know.
Speaker 2 (11:05):
We really do appreciate you sharing 15
minutes with us.
Speaker 1 (11:09):
And if you want to do a bit more learning, go on to
Charles' websitecharlesjackaycom.
There's a course on values tocreate the life you truly love.
I did it and it does do what itsays on the can.
Speaker 2 (11:20):
See you next time.
Oh, come on.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
And it's, and it's, and it's, and it's.
Speaker 1 (00:06):
No talking during the podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
You can't give everybody else in this family.
He's got to have the last wordsand he has.
Welcome to Big Questions.
Short Answers I'm Sian.
Speaker 1 (00:17):
And I'm Andy Sian's husband asking the big life
questions.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
And possibly adding a little bit of unsolicited
advice.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
Maybe this podcast is brought to you by Sharm's
value-based online course.
Visit sharmjacketcom to findout more.
How do you make good decisions?
This is what we're talkingabout, Because, whether that's
in work, whether that's inpersonal life, whether that's
whatever, we often well, I don't, you know stress oh, my God, is
(00:47):
this going to be the rightdecision you can make?
Speaker 2 (00:50):
So is the question making the right decision or
just making a decision?
Speaker 1 (00:55):
Oh right, Okay Well, we'll deal with procrastination
at another time.
But being able to make theright decision, I think, for
yourself.
Speaker 2 (01:09):
Go on.
Speaker 1 (01:10):
Well, you know how you can make a decision where,
even if it's the wrong decision,you can.
It doesn't turn out well, youcan be comfortable in that
decision to say, well, yeah,that's the decision I made at
the time because that's what Ibelieved was right.
Speaker 2 (01:27):
It depends on the decision, but essentially, if
you're making a decision aboutsomething that is going to have
a material effect in your life,yes, Maybe you'd just talk.
Speaker 1 (01:37):
Should we talk about just work, or should we talk
about personal, or mix the both?
Speaker 2 (01:42):
Well, you've just opened the door now to it,
haven't you?
I mean, you knowdecision-making is very
different in differentenvironments for different
reasons.
But let's bring it back down tothe ABC.
If you've got a decision tomake, should I apply for that
job?
Should I move house?
Should we send the kids to thatschool?
You know it's the differencebetween you, know that?
(02:05):
Or, what flavour of yoghurt amI going to buy in the
supermarket?
Yeah, to me it's so, given thedecision has a substantive
reason to be made, yeah, so ifyou need to make a decision, ye
olden days, pen and paper andit's not computer, it is
literally pen and paper.
Okay, because it's slower andit takes more thought and
process to pick up a pen, writeon a piece of paper and create
your thoughts.
(02:25):
So the basic way of doing it isthe pros and cons, isn't it
Right?
Write the list of the pros andcons.
We've all done that.
So that's a very basic way ofdoing it.
So if you want to take it tothe next step, the questions I
would ask somebody is why do youneed to make this decision?
What's the context of it, right?
Yes, why are you making it?
Once you've clarified that,then you look at what I call the
(02:50):
different perspectives.
So you know, thosemerry-go-rounds in children's
playgrounds, the ones that arelike sectioned, like a piece of
cake that goes round and round.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's greatIf you think of the decision in
that way, it's like all cut intodifferent and it's spinning
around.
What I would ask anybody to dois look at the different
perspectives.
If you make the decision,what's the outcome?
(03:12):
If you stand from thatperspective, what about that
perspective?
And you look at all of the waysin which that decision is going
to affect your life yeah, mytime, my effort, the pros and
cons of doing it.
Is it going to move me forward?
Is it going to be dangerous?
Is it going to be healthy?
Who is it going to upset?
You know, all of those thingsand it's having the courage to
(03:35):
be honest about it.
Again, you can come back tothat word so often.
When you're making a decision,you really need to have the
courage to look at it from asmany perspectives as you can.
Then I would be saying that toevaluate, you need to then look
at if I'm making this decision,what is the outcome?
What am I looking for?
(03:55):
Again, it comes back to why doI need to make this decision?
Let's look at something likemoving a house.
Whether you own or whether yourent, it doesn't really matter.
You know this isn't working.
We need more space, or whateverthe reasons are.
Yeah, work out why you need tomake that decision.
Are they real?
And if so, then you look atwhat are the resources needed?
(04:17):
to make that decision?
Yeah, and what is the plan toget from A to B?
The other thing is, once you'vedone all of that, then it's
about weighing your options, andwe hear that phrase a lot.
You know you're weighing upyour options.
Well, I think you actually needa process to do that.
Yeah, and when you're weighingoptions, it's only when you've
(04:42):
literally got the core criteriaof why I'm making the decision.
I'm doing it because I needmore space.
I need it because this is tooexpensive.
I need it because I need to.
The location needs to change,because getting to work or doing
living life is too difficultright.
Once you have the reasons behind, so you're verifying the belief
(05:02):
.
These are my reasons, these aremy beliefs.
Speaker 1 (05:05):
Then making decisions becomes so much easier because
a lot of people well, a lot ofpeople, probably me kind of when
they make a decision can findall the reasons why they have to
do something, you know, but butdon't actually look at the
potential negatives, the otherside.
It's quite difficult to kind oflook at that.
Speaker 2 (05:25):
Well, I would argue with you because you do, you
become constipated with I can'tdo it, in case it's not right
and it doesn't work out and it'snot the right thing.
Ah, true.
So, for instance, if you'regoing just like an obvious one
with you it's like anever-ending narrative I need a
piece of equipment for my work,I need a light, I need a camera,
I need a whatever, and thefirst thing you'll do is drag me
(05:46):
into a conversation.
What do you think?
I want you to look at this andI'm like well, it may as well be
written in Swahili.
I don't know what.
You need a light for, or a bitfor your camera, or a lens or
whatever, and we have the samejiggly dumps.
You know, I say to you everytime I love the jiggly dumps.
Oh, we do have a jiggly dump.
And I say to you what do youneed it for?
right right, and once youverbalize well, I've got this
(06:10):
coming up, or I've done thesetwo things and I didn't have it,
and that's the problem itcaused.
And I've now got three thingscoming up where I can use this
and it's going to add and it'sgoing to do this and do that,
right, so you've done theevaluation.
Okay, the value basis.
Why do I need to do this?
Yeah, then I say to you well,all of that's logical, so why
(06:32):
are you asking me the?
Speaker 1 (06:32):
question.
Speaker 2 (06:32):
Yeah, but it costs $500.
Right, right, just pulling anumber out of my head here yeah,
and I will then say have yougot $500?
Yeah, if you have and you needit, then that's investing in
your business, and you've givenme the rationale.
If, on the other hand, you'rebuying it because you saw
(06:55):
somebody else with their kit andthey had it and you thought, oh
, that looks nice, oh, I'd liketo learn and play with that but
it's not actually necessary,yeah, where it's not adding to
the Well it's value withbusiness.
It's value add.
You know it's those kind ofdecisions, but it's interesting.
You have an inbuilt fear ofmaking the wrong choice.
Speaker 1 (07:15):
Yeah, yeah, I do.
Speaker 2 (07:17):
What would happen if it's not the right one?
What will happen if youcatastrophize?
You're very good at wrappingyourself up in constant going
over and over and over and overand over.
Because you don't like change,as I say, because you're
frightened, you don't make adecision, You'd rather not make
a decision.
Speaker 1 (07:35):
Yeah, true, true.
I'd rather not make a decision.
It's about everything really.
Speaker 2 (07:40):
One of the other things which you know.
In my head it's kind of statingthe obvious because of my
belief systems If you have adecision to make, it needs to be
in congruence with your values.
Yeah, I think that's the keyit's in congruence with your
values and it works out.
The headiness of beingcompetent, of making a good
choice, makes us feel reallygood as human beings.
(08:02):
You know, we human beings, wehave succeeded, we have done a
good thing by making the rightchoice.
And when it's, as I say, ifit's in line with your values,
it adds a whole euphoric bit.
Speaker 1 (08:13):
Because if it's not in line with your values, it
doesn't feel very kind ofawkward, absolutely, and that's
what unravels you?
Speaker 2 (08:19):
Yeah, and make that decision Again.
It might not be about buyingsomething.
It might be aboutwhistleblowing.
It might be about callingsomebody out.
It might be about sayingsomething that you can no longer
keep your gob shut about.
As long as things are in linewith your values, the chances
are you'll be able to put yourhead on your pillow and live
with the choices that you'vemade.
And the same thing you knowwhen you're talking about going
(08:41):
out and buying something.
You know making a choice,making a decision.
Speaker 1 (08:51):
If you're filtering it through your values, the
chances are you will make a gooddecision For yourself.
It might not be the rightdecision for another person,
somebody who like, for example,from a values perspective,
somebody who likes money, andanother person who likes
contribution, choosing adifferent job that has got less
pay, but you're contributing.
For some people it might be thewrong decision, but if it's in
(09:13):
line with your values, then it'sthe right decision.
Speaker 2 (09:15):
Yeah probably a tiny bit more complicated than that.
No, no, no, I do.
I'm not taking a diss, I'mbeing really honest with you
Again.
World according to Sian.
Just an observation here youknow the world is getting so
fast and there is so much morechoice, so much more of
everything.
Making decisions.
I just think we're very, verytired of it.
(09:35):
I mean, the story I will tellabout making decisions in the
last few years is when I've goneback to the UK and gone into
Tesco's and I stand at thesupermarket and I look literally
50, 60, 70 different kinds ofbottled water, yeah, yeah.
And I'm thinking what the actual?
(09:57):
Yeah, I know yeah there is somuch of everything that you know
you're thinking about doing theshopping for the family and all
the practicalities of it, butalso making all those choices.
It's tiring, mate.
Yeah, yeah, tiring Buyingclothes, buying things, but just
life in general.
There are so many more choicesthat we have to make and I think
(10:19):
one of the things we could dois just recognise sometimes it's
I'm very tired of makingdecisions, so I'm going to stop
for a minute.
That opens the door to work,because making decisions in a
working environment that is awhole different subject.
Speaker 1 (10:33):
Oh, maybe we'll talk about that at another time, but
I've made the decision to bringthis to a close because we're up
to time.
Speaker 2 (10:43):
Oh, you're a funny man Not in a half-hour way up to
time.
Oh yeah, rough money man, Notin a half-hour way.
Speaker 1 (10:49):
Join us next time on Big Questions.
Short Answers with Sian Jacquetand me, andy.
Speaker 2 (10:55):
If you have any questions you want to ask,
please send them via the websitesiansjacquetcom.
Speaker 1 (11:01):
If you enjoyed this podcast, please subscribe and
share it with everyone you know.
Speaker 2 (11:05):
We really do appreciate you sharing 15
minutes with us.
Speaker 1 (11:09):
And if you want to do a bit more learning, go on to
Charles' websitecharlesjackaycom.
There's a course on values tocreate the life you truly love.
I did it and it does do what itsays on the can.
Speaker 2 (11:20):
See you next time.
Popular Podcasts
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.