July 9, 2024 • 11 mins
Why do we really seek self-improvement? Can personal responsibility be the key to lasting change? Join us on "Big Questions. Short Answers." as Sian and Andy, a seasoned coach with 26 years of experience, unravel the mysteries behind self-development. From those who live a life of continuous growth to those who only seek change in moments of crisis, this episode will shed light on what truly motivates people to transform their lives.
Discover the pivotal role personal responsibility plays in achieving significant transformations. Andy shares his insights on why looking inward and taking ownership of our mind, body, and emotional well-being can set the foundation for lifelong growth. Perfect for both self-improvement veterans and those facing tough times, this episode is packed with valuable advice and practical steps to embark on the journey toward a better you. Tune in for an enlightening discussion that could be your first step toward meaningful self-development.
For more content, check out Sian's website sianjaquet.com, and her online course: Create The Life You Truly Love.
www.sianjaquet.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Andy (00:00):
I've been wanting to ask this for a while.
Sian (00:05):
Welcome to Big Questions.
Short Answers.
I'm Sian.
Andy (00:08):
Hello, I'm Andy Sian's husband asking the big life
questions.
Sian (00:13):
And possibly adding a little bit of unsolicited advice
.
Andy (00:16):
Maybe this podcast is brought to you by Sian's
value-based online course.
Visit sianjackeycom to find outmore.
Right, so today we're going tobe asking about self-development
.
Obviously, there's a plethoraof stuff around in terms of
self-development.
You know from your Tony Robbinsand you know all the way
(00:38):
through.
I just you know there's so muchof it.
What is this big question?
Big, you know like, yeah, Ilike big, broad questions.
The secret of self-development.
What is that?
Why are you laughing at me?
But it just I don't know.
If people are looking to,looking to improve themselves,
people, let's talk about you.
No, no, no, talking about me.
(00:59):
We're not talking about me, butit's like.
It's like you know the secretof self-development.
What's the?
Sian (01:07):
Well, why do people do it?
Why?
Let's start with that?
Andy (01:09):
Yeah, let's start with that.
That's a good idea.
Sian (01:11):
Right.
Why do people do it?
Andy (01:12):
Yeah.
Again, in my experience thereare Because you've been coaching
for quite a long time.
Sian (01:18):
Better part of 26 years.
There are people and they'reprobably in a much smaller
minority whose beliefs and lifeexperience is like a heartbeat
of learning, growing, feedingthe mind, challenging the body.
You know all, you know, youknow what I mean.
That kind of there is a.
Andy (01:39):
Physical work.
Sian (01:40):
A consistent focus on self in what would be termed in our
society, I suppose, quite ahealthy way.
Yes, I mean, nobody's going toargue the basic premise of use
it or lose it.
So your brain, your muscles,you know, developing group of
(02:08):
people whose value, base andbeliefs create an entire
lifetime of where they seek tohave that self-development all
the time.
Okay, the vast majority ofpeople I've met, including
myself and including you, wenormally knock on the door of
self-development when there's acrisis.
Yes, yeah, be it physical,emotional, practical, in the
journey of life.
Yeah, and I suppose the job Ido as a coach that in a lot of
(02:32):
ways, I meet people when they'reat that space.
Andy (02:37):
In a crisis.
Sian (02:38):
Yeah, well, you can call it crisis, but yes, but they
know I can't stay like I ambecause I'm not happy or
whatever it is is not working.
I might be not happy and itmight be much higher on that
scale yeah, that I'm actuallyvery frightened, or unsafe, or
whatever.
We all, I think, get to a pointat some point one day in our
(03:02):
lives and we think is this it,what can I do to make myself
better, to make this situationbetter?
Well, that is whatself-development is, and in the
world of sean, it's about takingthat first step into
self-responsibility okay, yeah,yeah, that you are responsible,
yeah, for your mind, yeah, yourphysical health your emotional
self, your relationships.
Yeah, I'll hold them nine yards.
(03:22):
Personal response is a bigthing for you.
What responsible, yeah, foryour mind?
Yeah, your physical health,your emotional self, your
relationships?
Yeah, a whole damn nine yardspersonal response is a big thing
for you what I actually believeand what I actually say to the
people I work with is that it'sabout taking responsibility for
yourself.
Andy (03:36):
That, to me, is the first step in self-development because
a lot of people blameeverything that's around them.
Sian (03:44):
Yeah, my mother, my education, the politics, my
parents, my life, lack of money,lack of opportunity, the
weather, you know.
So if you want to takeresponsibility for yourself, for
the journey of self-development, the first thing is it is about
a responsibility.
Andy (04:00):
Right.
Sian (04:02):
I'm sure there's people who would argue with me that
that's not right, but anyway,it's how I'm thinking, certainly
how I'm thinking today.
And then, if that's the why wedo it, because we find ourselves
in a moment of time where wewant something to change about
the world we live in and who weare and how we do it what you
you do again depends on yourbeliefs and your wisdom and your
(04:26):
experience and usually whatyou've also seen role modelled.
If I look at in my most recentsort of last two to three years
of work, one of the areas whichI think most people will be able
to identify with is work I'vestarted doing.
In that space ofself-development, of being in
(04:47):
work, yes, in that professionalworking environment.
Pre-covid there were very realconversations.
Post-covid it's there out onbloody table.
It's like a bloody smorgasbordof issues of what do employees
want, how do you look after them, how do you provide a culture.
You know all of those thingsthat you know.
(05:07):
Everybody's talking aboutself-development in that space,
I suppose, is where my head hasbeen a lot to do with, and, and
it's fundamentally about yourprofessional self.
Who do you choose to be?
right and that, to me, isself-development.
Yeah, who am?
Who am I in a workingenvironment?
And how do I contribute tocreate an integrity for the
(05:32):
contractual agreement I havewith somebody who's paying me to
do a job?
Yeah, and how do I developwithin that environment?
Because there is absolutely noquestion in my mind that the
days of anybody being employedanywhere Right, and this is the
job you're doing, and we justwant you to do that job and
nothing else for the next 20years right, you've got to
(05:55):
engage with somebody.
Yeah, in the heart and the headyeah and that kind of
opportunity for self-developmentwhich, again, you'd call career
development, you'd calltraining, all the rest of it.
I mean, I'm talking aboutcareers, I'm not talking about
personal life now, but that is aspace that I think employers,
(06:15):
companies, be them large orsmall, you can no longer body
swerve that.
You need to get your headaround.
How do I support this person todevelop within that role?
And to me, as you know, one ofthe things I do and I have to
say it doesn't just from my headbut from my heart it is an
(06:37):
extraordinary privilege to sitthere and do a workshop with
people on your professional corevalues and see light bulbs
going off right, left and centerand a sense of being and
responsibility and understanding, because, again, you know what
I'm like.
Andy (06:52):
Well, it's not I mean, it's like.
I mean in some ways I wish Iwished you know some of this has
been around when I was more inthe corporate world, because
fine fuck some of those.
Sian (07:02):
That is the language that offends people.
Andy (07:05):
Some of those companies that I've worked, yeah, some of
those companies that I workedfor, gee, they did not, you know
, they never really embraced you.
Sian (07:15):
They were abusive.
Andy (07:16):
It was an abusive situation.
Sian (07:18):
Yeah, I'm paying you and I will run you ragged until
you're broken and then I'lldisregard you and I'll get
another one.
Yeah, dreadful.
I mean you worked in the mediaworld and if you know the last
20 years.
I've done a lot of work in themedia and they are right up
there with what I call the churnand burn culture.
Yeah, yeah, because you've gota whole line of people who want
(07:40):
to be involved in it.
Andy (07:43):
So what we're saying in terms of you know why, bother
with self-development, it's that.
Sian (07:48):
Self-responsibility, yeah, and also creative resilience,
right.
When you do work onself-development, be it
professional or personal orwhatever area right?
What you are doing is you areadding another ladle of
resilience because you've got abit more learning about yourself
.
Andy (08:05):
So when that wave of pressure that happens in life,
you have got some experience instanding still and evaluating
and not catastrophizing and also, if I'd done a bit more
self-development when I wasyounger, I think I wouldn't have
stayed in selling companiesbecause they didn't meet my
values.
Yeah, in terms of their.
Sian (08:25):
Well, you were a classic example and we could write a
book about Self-abuse.
Well, it was, and it's becauseyou have such firmly held values
, yes, that they turned in onyou.
Andy (08:38):
Yeah, yeah.
Their loyalty turned in on me,didn't?
Sian (08:39):
it yeah.
Andy (08:40):
But it's good to know, and so you know.
I suppose that's why this wholeindustry has built up in terms
of self-development.
But there is a You'reresponsible for yourself.
Sian (08:51):
You know, one of the reasons I believe that it's
grown is part of the fact it'saccessibility, part of the fact
that we as a society and when Isay we, you understand that I'm
very well aware of the fact howprivileged we are within our
society.
We have knowledge, we havelearning, we have access to that
development in how human beingsare thinking.
(09:13):
And again it comes down to thenuggets, doesn't it of?
Actually, your mum and dadaren't going to look after you
all your life.
Actually, society isn't goingto be there to hold your hand
when you trip.
Actually, if you want to be agrown-up, if you want to be a
whole and healthy, safe humanbeing in society, you need to
(09:34):
learn pretty damn fast how tolook after yourself.
And how do you do that?
Through self-development,because you will make different
choices, different ideas,different beliefs when you are
independently doing it foryourself, rather than just
following what the crowd saysand hopefully the people that
(09:54):
are listening are already onthis journey well, you'd you'd
like to think so, but I, and Ihave to say this when it comes
to self-development and learning, there's a lot of crap.
Horrified is an understatementwhen I'm watching Fox News, or
you know and I don't want tomake my life all about him and I
know he's polarising but thisman has, he's got the values of
(10:19):
an alley cat and that's beingdisrespectful to an alley cat.
The man is dishonest in everylevel.
He doesn't have values, and yetpeople will vote for him and
move forward.
Why, I think?
Because they believe he'll givethem more money, and maybe he
will, but at what cost?
Because the soul of the nationis being eradicated.
(10:40):
Anyway, shut up, sean.
Andy (10:41):
Yeah, well, leave it there .
That was brilliant.
I'm going to cut that bit out,okay, bye, bye, join us next
time on Big Questions.
Short Answers with Sian Jaquetand me, andy.
Sian (10:55):
If you have any questions you want to ask, please send
them via the websiteshansjackeycom.
Andy (11:01):
If you enjoyed this podcast, please subscribe and
share it with everyone you know.
Sian (11:06):
We really do appreciate you sharing 15 minutes with us.
Andy (11:10):
And if you want to do a bit more learning, go on to
Sian's website sianjaquet.
com.
There's a course on values tocreate life you truly love.
I did it and it really does dowhat it says on the.
Can See you next time.
I've been wanting to ask this for a while.
Sian (00:05):
Welcome to Big Questions.
Short Answers.
I'm Sian.
Andy (00:08):
Hello, I'm Andy Sian's husband asking the big life
questions.
Sian (00:13):
And possibly adding a little bit of unsolicited advice
.
Andy (00:16):
Maybe this podcast is brought to you by Sian's
value-based online course.
Visit sianjackeycom to find outmore.
Right, so today we're going tobe asking about self-development
.
Obviously, there's a plethoraof stuff around in terms of
self-development.
You know from your Tony Robbinsand you know all the way
(00:38):
through.
I just you know there's so muchof it.
What is this big question?
Big, you know like, yeah, Ilike big, broad questions.
The secret of self-development.
What is that?
Why are you laughing at me?
But it just I don't know.
If people are looking to,looking to improve themselves,
people, let's talk about you.
No, no, no, talking about me.
(00:59):
We're not talking about me, butit's like.
It's like you know the secretof self-development.
What's the?
Sian (01:07):
Well, why do people do it?
Why?
Let's start with that?
Andy (01:09):
Yeah, let's start with that.
That's a good idea.
Sian (01:11):
Right.
Why do people do it?
Andy (01:12):
Yeah.
Again, in my experience thereare Because you've been coaching
for quite a long time.
Sian (01:18):
Better part of 26 years.
There are people and they'reprobably in a much smaller
minority whose beliefs and lifeexperience is like a heartbeat
of learning, growing, feedingthe mind, challenging the body.
You know all, you know, youknow what I mean.
That kind of there is a.
Andy (01:39):
Physical work.
Sian (01:40):
A consistent focus on self in what would be termed in our
society, I suppose, quite ahealthy way.
Yes, I mean, nobody's going toargue the basic premise of use
it or lose it.
So your brain, your muscles,you know, developing group of
(02:08):
people whose value, base andbeliefs create an entire
lifetime of where they seek tohave that self-development all
the time.
Okay, the vast majority ofpeople I've met, including
myself and including you, wenormally knock on the door of
self-development when there's acrisis.
Yes, yeah, be it physical,emotional, practical, in the
journey of life.
Yeah, and I suppose the job Ido as a coach that in a lot of
(02:32):
ways, I meet people when they'reat that space.
Andy (02:37):
In a crisis.
Sian (02:38):
Yeah, well, you can call it crisis, but yes, but they
know I can't stay like I ambecause I'm not happy or
whatever it is is not working.
I might be not happy and itmight be much higher on that
scale yeah, that I'm actuallyvery frightened, or unsafe, or
whatever.
We all, I think, get to a pointat some point one day in our
(03:02):
lives and we think is this it,what can I do to make myself
better, to make this situationbetter?
Well, that is whatself-development is, and in the
world of sean, it's about takingthat first step into
self-responsibility okay, yeah,yeah, that you are responsible,
yeah, for your mind, yeah, yourphysical health your emotional
self, your relationships.
Yeah, I'll hold them nine yards.
(03:22):
Personal response is a bigthing for you.
What responsible, yeah, foryour mind?
Yeah, your physical health,your emotional self, your
relationships?
Yeah, a whole damn nine yardspersonal response is a big thing
for you what I actually believeand what I actually say to the
people I work with is that it'sabout taking responsibility for
yourself.
Andy (03:36):
That, to me, is the first step in self-development because
a lot of people blameeverything that's around them.
Sian (03:44):
Yeah, my mother, my education, the politics, my
parents, my life, lack of money,lack of opportunity, the
weather, you know.
So if you want to takeresponsibility for yourself, for
the journey of self-development, the first thing is it is about
a responsibility.
Andy (04:00):
Right.
Sian (04:02):
I'm sure there's people who would argue with me that
that's not right, but anyway,it's how I'm thinking, certainly
how I'm thinking today.
And then, if that's the why wedo it, because we find ourselves
in a moment of time where wewant something to change about
the world we live in and who weare and how we do it what you
you do again depends on yourbeliefs and your wisdom and your
(04:26):
experience and usually whatyou've also seen role modelled.
If I look at in my most recentsort of last two to three years
of work, one of the areas whichI think most people will be able
to identify with is work I'vestarted doing.
In that space ofself-development, of being in
(04:47):
work, yes, in that professionalworking environment.
Pre-covid there were very realconversations.
Post-covid it's there out onbloody table.
It's like a bloody smorgasbordof issues of what do employees
want, how do you look after them, how do you provide a culture.
You know all of those thingsthat you know.
(05:07):
Everybody's talking aboutself-development in that space,
I suppose, is where my head hasbeen a lot to do with, and, and
it's fundamentally about yourprofessional self.
Who do you choose to be?
right and that, to me, isself-development.
Yeah, who am?
Who am I in a workingenvironment?
And how do I contribute tocreate an integrity for the
(05:32):
contractual agreement I havewith somebody who's paying me to
do a job?
Yeah, and how do I developwithin that environment?
Because there is absolutely noquestion in my mind that the
days of anybody being employedanywhere Right, and this is the
job you're doing, and we justwant you to do that job and
nothing else for the next 20years right, you've got to
(05:55):
engage with somebody.
Yeah, in the heart and the headyeah and that kind of
opportunity for self-developmentwhich, again, you'd call career
development, you'd calltraining, all the rest of it.
I mean, I'm talking aboutcareers, I'm not talking about
personal life now, but that is aspace that I think employers,
(06:15):
companies, be them large orsmall, you can no longer body
swerve that.
You need to get your headaround.
How do I support this person todevelop within that role?
And to me, as you know, one ofthe things I do and I have to
say it doesn't just from my headbut from my heart it is an
(06:37):
extraordinary privilege to sitthere and do a workshop with
people on your professional corevalues and see light bulbs
going off right, left and centerand a sense of being and
responsibility and understanding, because, again, you know what
I'm like.
Andy (06:52):
Well, it's not I mean, it's like.
I mean in some ways I wish Iwished you know some of this has
been around when I was more inthe corporate world, because
fine fuck some of those.
Sian (07:02):
That is the language that offends people.
Andy (07:05):
Some of those companies that I've worked, yeah, some of
those companies that I workedfor, gee, they did not, you know
, they never really embraced you.
Sian (07:15):
They were abusive.
Andy (07:16):
It was an abusive situation.
Sian (07:18):
Yeah, I'm paying you and I will run you ragged until
you're broken and then I'lldisregard you and I'll get
another one.
Yeah, dreadful.
I mean you worked in the mediaworld and if you know the last
20 years.
I've done a lot of work in themedia and they are right up
there with what I call the churnand burn culture.
Yeah, yeah, because you've gota whole line of people who want
(07:40):
to be involved in it.
Andy (07:43):
So what we're saying in terms of you know why, bother
with self-development, it's that.
Sian (07:48):
Self-responsibility, yeah, and also creative resilience,
right.
When you do work onself-development, be it
professional or personal orwhatever area right?
What you are doing is you areadding another ladle of
resilience because you've got abit more learning about yourself
.
Andy (08:05):
So when that wave of pressure that happens in life,
you have got some experience instanding still and evaluating
and not catastrophizing and also, if I'd done a bit more
self-development when I wasyounger, I think I wouldn't have
stayed in selling companiesbecause they didn't meet my
values.
Yeah, in terms of their.
Sian (08:25):
Well, you were a classic example and we could write a
book about Self-abuse.
Well, it was, and it's becauseyou have such firmly held values
, yes, that they turned in onyou.
Andy (08:38):
Yeah, yeah.
Their loyalty turned in on me,didn't?
Sian (08:39):
it yeah.
Andy (08:40):
But it's good to know, and so you know.
I suppose that's why this wholeindustry has built up in terms
of self-development.
But there is a You'reresponsible for yourself.
Sian (08:51):
You know, one of the reasons I believe that it's
grown is part of the fact it'saccessibility, part of the fact
that we as a society and when Isay we, you understand that I'm
very well aware of the fact howprivileged we are within our
society.
We have knowledge, we havelearning, we have access to that
development in how human beingsare thinking.
(09:13):
And again it comes down to thenuggets, doesn't it of?
Actually, your mum and dadaren't going to look after you
all your life.
Actually, society isn't goingto be there to hold your hand
when you trip.
Actually, if you want to be agrown-up, if you want to be a
whole and healthy, safe humanbeing in society, you need to
(09:34):
learn pretty damn fast how tolook after yourself.
And how do you do that?
Through self-development,because you will make different
choices, different ideas,different beliefs when you are
independently doing it foryourself, rather than just
following what the crowd saysand hopefully the people that
(09:54):
are listening are already onthis journey well, you'd you'd
like to think so, but I, and Ihave to say this when it comes
to self-development and learning, there's a lot of crap.
Horrified is an understatementwhen I'm watching Fox News, or
you know and I don't want tomake my life all about him and I
know he's polarising but thisman has, he's got the values of
(10:19):
an alley cat and that's beingdisrespectful to an alley cat.
The man is dishonest in everylevel.
He doesn't have values, and yetpeople will vote for him and
move forward.
Why, I think?
Because they believe he'll givethem more money, and maybe he
will, but at what cost?
Because the soul of the nationis being eradicated.
(10:40):
Anyway, shut up, sean.
Andy (10:41):
Yeah, well, leave it there .
That was brilliant.
I'm going to cut that bit out,okay, bye, bye, join us next
time on Big Questions.
Short Answers with Sian Jaquetand me, andy.
Sian (10:55):
If you have any questions you want to ask, please send
them via the websiteshansjackeycom.
Andy (11:01):
If you enjoyed this podcast, please subscribe and
share it with everyone you know.
Sian (11:06):
We really do appreciate you sharing 15 minutes with us.
Andy (11:10):
And if you want to do a bit more learning, go on to
Sian's website sianjaquet.
com.
There's a course on values tocreate life you truly love.
I did it and it really does dowhat it says on the.
Can See you next time.
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