In this powerful and emotional podcast episode, Lindsay welcomes advocate and survivor Courtney Gilmartin to unpack the insidious nature of coercive control, post-separation abuse, and the long game survivors must play to reclaim their lives.
Courtney shares her deeply personal story of entering an abusive relationship at 19, marrying young, and eventually recognizing the subtle but devastating patterns of emotional, psychological, and financial abuse she endured. Though never physically attacked in a traditional sense, Courtney powerfully illustrates how intimidation, surveillance, isolation, sabotage, and manipulation are all forms of DV.
The conversation dives into:
- How abusers maintain control post-divorce through litigation, parenting schedules, and even children’s clothing.
- Why strategic emotional detachment and planning are essential before leaving.
- The importance of journaling, building a trauma-informed support team, and understanding the legal system’s limitations.
- The psychological warfare abusers wage through child custody manipulation, withholding support, and weaponizing family court.
- How to protect your kids and maintain your sanity while navigating high-conflict co-parenting.
- Why survivors need to stop blaming themselves and start reclaiming their narratives.
Courtney also provides tactical guidance for survivors still inside abusive relationships, including:
- The power of documenting abuse
- How to prepare for a safe and strategic exit
- What to prioritize in custody agreements
- Why small wins in family court can shift the power dynamic
Throughout the episode, Lindsay and Courtney bond over shared experiences, emphasize the importance of support networks, and remind listeners that leaving is just the beginning of a longer battle — but one worth fighting.
We’ve got your back, Bestie. And your second (or third) act.
If you or someone you know needs immediate help, please reach out to the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233
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