July 22, 2024 • 19 mins
Unlock the secrets to overcoming the toughest barriers in exposure work and finally achieve food freedom. Do traditional methods of managing your relationship with food leave you feeling stuck? Join us as we explore the normalcy of encountering stuck points, how to reframe these moments as natural responses rather than failures, and the critical role of repeated exposures to charged-up foods. We delve into the importance of community support and guidance to help you navigate mindset traps and persist through discomfort. Discover how these strategies can lead to greater emotional freedom in your relationship with food.
Get ready for actionable insights that will push you out of your comfort zone and onto the path of lasting change. We break down practical strategies for optimizing your progress, from breaking self-imposed rules to balancing the pace of your exposures. Learn how to manage self-judgment, embrace discomfort, and transform perceived failures into stepping stones for growth. This episode is packed with tips, including planning exposures to reduce anxiety and starting with small, manageable steps to gradually build resilience. If you're looking for support and encouragement on your journey toward a healthier relationship with food, this episode is a must-listen.
GO DEEPER
🌟 Apply for My Signature Live 4-Month Program, TRUE Food and Body Image Freedom
🎉 Get my Free Minicourse- Love (v) Your Body and Achieve ULTIMATE Food and Body Confidence
HELP OTHERS FIND THIS SUPPORT:
⭐ Leave a 5-star rating!
💬 Did this episode help? It may also help a friend! Share!
🔔 Subscribe so you don’t miss an episode!
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Okay, we're going to dive more into exposure work
just to give you more support.
We're going to get into thework.
We're going to address thebarriers that you may come
across, that you are comingacross, that you're experiencing
those barriers, stuck points,whatever you want to call them.
Just what?
Those things, those beliefs,those perceptions, those actual
(00:24):
practices that get you stuckwhen you're doing exposure work,
that cause you to feel like youare not going to be successful,
you can't be successful, youdon't want to continue moving
forward, that create thatoverwhelm.
And then we're going to talkabout how to get through them.
So you have the tools, theknowledge, the know-how and the
(00:47):
encouragement and support tokeep going despite the barriers
and stuck points that you'reexperiencing.
I want to say those stuckpoints are inevitable.
You can get stuck in all ofthem.
You can get stuck in all ofthem consistently.
And that's the reason I want totalk about it.
It's because I have never gonethrough this with my clients, um
, and where someone did not getstuck or get scared to keep
(01:10):
going or just like plowedthrough the exposure work, no
problem.
It's hard work and there's alot of things that come up that
create these barriers mentally,these blocks that cause us to
believe that we can't moveforward.
It's not for us, and so it's abig mindset thing here as well,
and because we're still formingnew experiences, new neural
(01:33):
pathways, those old beliefs arestill very much there which
don't aid and help us in movingforward with these exposures.
So, yes, it's just totallynormal.
I want to very much normalizethis as we get started and let's
get into it.
So the barriers and stuck pointsFirst one I tried it and blank
(01:57):
happened beliefs.
So these beliefs may be.
I tried this exposure withOreos and I binged on them and
case in point right.
So therefore I cannot continue.
Another example I tried toexpose myself to having more ice
(02:22):
cream and bringing that in, andI have been having ice cream
every day.
So I should stop all thesebeliefs.
These kinds of beliefs reallykeep people stuck and let's walk
through some of them.
So when we have this thoughtthat I tried Oreos and I binged
(02:42):
on them and then therefore Ishould stop, we're connecting
the wrong dots here and havingthis kind of mindset is going to
prohibit you and cause you toget stuck and not move forward.
This is these stuck pointsbinging feeling, very
(03:04):
uncomfortable feeling, maybestuck in the binging more than
you would have hoped for, maybefeeling more shameful or more
scared than you would have hopedfor.
In the experience, all are justvery normal and the thing we
don't want to do is draw aconclusion about it.
Okay.
So we want to say I tried toexpose myself to Oreos and I
(03:28):
binged on them, and that makessense because I haven't had
Oreos in a long time and that'smy natural body, my, my body
response to this, and so thatmeans I need to keep exposing
myself to Oreos, to dechargethem, to feel more comfortable
with them, so I need to keepgetting uncomfortable and trust
(03:48):
that the charge I will, theOreos will lose its charge and I
will no longer want to binge onthem.
Okay, so that's a very, veryimportant shift to moving
forward is to accept thestruggles and barriers that come
along and to not draw theseconclusions about them.
Ok, and this is when thishappens.
(04:09):
That's why it's reallyimportant to seek that support.
So if you currently are in thefood program and not just have
purchased the food course aloneor parts of the food course
alone, of the food course alone,that the support is highly
encouraged due to this verything which is getting caught in
(04:35):
these mindset traps, losinghope because of the
uncomfortable experiences you'rehaving and then deciding to not
want to move forward, whereaswhen you have that support and
encouragement from your supportteam those leaders, but also the
other people going through it,you can hear all the insights
and encouragement of wherepeople have been in the same
spot and can encourage you.
Just keep going, you'll get outof it.
(04:56):
And those leaders who say thisshould be normal, keep going.
How can we support you?
So we want to be very carefulof those, those thoughts, and
this is another, anotherreminder.
I know we went over this, butwhen we have charged up foods,
when we're doing exposures andwe have charged up foods are
(05:17):
really set in ingrained rules.
They are going to take time.
They are going to take repeatedexposures, not just one, not
just two, multiple.
Now you may have some that areone and two and that's maybe
because they are not as chargedup in your mind.
(05:37):
But if we had a scale of acharge from one to 10, those
charged up foods that are maybeat a 10, or that charged up rule
that you break that's at a 10,that's going to take more
exposure work than somethingthat's charged up at a two, and
the reason for that is becauseyou have more fear around that
10, you have more shame comingup around it, and so, and that
(05:58):
fear and shame and distrustaround that food experience in
rural is going to cause moreanxiety, cause more judgment,
cause more fear and then in turn, you know, going to kind of
work against you, and so that'swhy we need more practice with
it.
Okay, so just keep tellingyourself, the more charged up
(06:21):
this will be, the moreuncomfortable it will be, the
more I will have to practice.
But that doesn't mean it won'twork.
It just means I need morepractice.
Okay, the next thing, um, andI'm getting, I'm going a little
bit into how to fixing it.
It's going to be hard to justexplain these stuck points
without saying how to fix them.
So I'm going to probably speakto how to fix these all a little
(06:43):
bit, but then on the next slidewe're going to go over what
tools to use to address all ofthese different stuck points.
Okay, all right.
Next one Too uncomfortable ornot getting uncomfortable enough
?
So let's talk about the firstone.
It's too uncomfortable or notgetting uncomfortable enough?
So let's talk about the firstone.
It's too uncomfortable.
If you are doing these exposuresand they are out of your window
(07:06):
of tolerance, go back to thecourse toolbox.
If you're in the large programand you in the large body image
program with the food program,go back to the tool, the course
toolbox, and it talks about thewindow of tolerance.
But if you're out of yourwindow of tolerance, if you are
out of this place where you cancope, where you are just too
overwhelmed or dysregulated ortoo underwhelmed and dissociated
(07:28):
, that is too uncomfortable.
We want to get to a place wherewe are uncomfortable or even
very uncomfortable, but we're inour window of tolerance to be
able to be there in the momentwithout getting too overwhelmed
or without dissociating andleaving our bodies and not being
even part of the experience,right.
So if you're too uncomfortable,that means the exposure may be
(07:49):
too difficult and you need tobuild up to that specific
exposure.
So let's keep going with theOreos, because that's what we've
been referring to specificexposure.
So let's keep going with theOreos, because that's what we've
been referring to.
That's the example we've beenreferring to.
Okay, so when it comes to Oreos,that Oreo experience, if that
is out of your window oftolerance.
It's a 10 charged food.
It's the one you went for rightaway before you started with
(08:11):
something else.
We'll want to go down a notchand start exposing ourselves to
something different.
Let's say, like, maybe chipsare a five for you on the
charged up list.
Let's start with that, buildour confidence with our ability
to have a successful foodexposure and to start feeling
more neutral around chips andthen move up to the Oreo.
(08:33):
We want to be in a tolerancelevel of discomfort, but still
there and not overwhelmed.
And maybe we can label this asanywhere from an exposure of 3
out of 10 on anxiety to maybe 6out of 10 or 5 out of 10 on the
anxiety level.
So you can just build thatconfidence and still get
(08:55):
uncomfortable, but not toouncomfortable.
So you can just build thatconfidence and still get
uncomfortable, but not toouncomfortable.
The other reason why exposuresmay not be working for you or
you're getting stuck in thatexposure work and neutralizing
food is because you're notgetting uncomfortable enough.
You're still staying toocomfortable.
You might be in that range ofone or two on the anxiety level,
(09:16):
um, and you're not pushingyourself quite enough to create
that neutrality.
For example, if you're exposingyourself to Oreos and you are
already comfortable with havingone Oreo.
You allow yourself that andthat is um a rule that you're
you have already already allowed.
(09:38):
Then to create full peace withthat, we need to keep going and
push ourselves.
We stay in our comfort zone.
We only build that amount ofcomfort right If you are only
feeling comfortable by.
If you have a rule that says Ican only have a sweet a day to
(09:59):
feel safe.
It's great, you feel safe inthat.
But what happens when you wantto have two sweets a day or
three sweets a day?
We want to keep pushing thelimit so that we can get to that
place where we have built fulltrust, comfort in all of these
different experiences.
Another example is we want toreally create, we want to create
(10:24):
flexibility, so the moreuncomfortable we can get the
best, the better.
So if you're really, reallycomfortable with having this
certain way of eating, atcertain times a day, what your
food looks like right certaintimes a day, what your food
looks like right we want to getreally uncomfortable by drastic,
by moving, moving slowly to adrastic change where you're
eating at totally differenttimes, totally different things
(10:45):
and you're changing that upevery single day, because then
you are building all of thesedifferent experiences then and
you can show yourself I'm safe,I can handle this, I'm still
okay.
Oh look, now I don't reallyworry about what time I eat
during the day.
Oh, now those things no longerscare me, right?
So you want to make sure youkeep.
(11:08):
You get uncomfortableconsistently and you don't stay
comfortable, because then changedoesn't happen and what you see
is, the more and more you breakthese rules, it's going to be
uncomfortable, but instead ofbeing at a six out of 10 for a
certain exposure, it becomes afive out of 10, a four out of 10
.
And that food becomes way moreneutral.
(11:30):
No big deal, you don't care,it's not, doesn't feel like it's
in control of you.
It gets a ton care, it's not,doesn't feel like it's in
control of you.
It gets a ton, just moreneutral.
You get more free.
So don't do yourself thedisservice of staying
comfortable, because then youcan't create change.
So keep getting uncomfortable.
Have that accountability.
Reach out for support to helpyou, to assess are you getting
(11:52):
uncomfortable enough so they canpush you?
Super, super important.
Okay, the next thing is tellingyourself and I should have put
this in quotes I will never getthere.
This is not for me, and we cantack this onto the mindset for
the first point that we wentover.
But mindset is very, veryimportant here.
(12:14):
Oh, another thing here Ithought I had, which was
judgment.
So the mindset of this critical, a critical mindset of yourself
, judgmental mindset, based onthe struggles that you're having
, if you're judging yourexperience rather than being
curious about the experience,it's going to definitely keep
(12:36):
you stuck because it causes youto have these thoughts and
beliefs that, like this one, Iwill never get there.
This is not meant for me.
What that does is it totallycloses the door on the
opportunities that lie ahead.
If you are telling yourself,because I did this exposure and
(12:56):
it didn't work the way I wanted,or I'm not where I want to be
yet as quickly as I want to be,so I'm never going to get there,
this is not meant for me.
You are just closing the dooron that and you can honestly
drastically change the outcomeof the experience because you
stopped too soon because of whatyou were telling yourself.
(13:20):
So we really want to be carefulof our mindset and falling into
that trap where people and I getthis all the time.
I mean I don't know if Ihaven't gotten this from a
client yet where they have beengoing through exposures and they
say I can see how this worksfor other people, but this was
not meant for me and the reason.
It's very understandable thatyou feel this way and I want to
(13:43):
validate that, and that isbecause it's very, very scary to
do something so differently andgo against all of these rules
inside your head.
And when you don't have trustin something, what's going to
come up is all of that distrustduring that discomfort or during
that quote unquote failureyou're saying you're having.
But that barrier, that failure,that struggle point, is
(14:06):
necessary to get to the otherside.
So you have to think of it inthis work.
As I am here, I do not havetrust.
In order to get to distrust, Ineed to go through all of those
failures, all of those struggles, those binges, that discomfort
in order to get to the otherside.
If you don't go through it, youwill not get to it.
(14:30):
You have to go through it toexperience that.
The next thing that can create astuck point for food exposures
is going too slow.
What I find is if people areexposing themselves too slowly,
then it can feel like you'rereally stuck because you don't
(14:51):
see the progress of the exposurework, because you're not
challenging yourself enough.
So if you are, just if you'rebringing in I'm going to go back
to the chip example If you'rebringing in a chip a day and
you're not having a handful orletting yourself just eat from
the bag and going to an exposurelike that, if that is in your
(15:15):
comfortable range and yourwindow of tolerance, then you
can be working on one chip for awhole week, then need to bring
in two chips, then need to bringin ice cream, then need to
bring in candy, then need tobring in eating outside of your
comfort zone times.
So you need to, we need toassess how slowly you're going,
because it can be discouraging.
The other thing is going tooquickly.
(15:36):
Now there is no right pace.
It's going to be different foreveryone and it depends on your
how you're experiencing it andwhere you are.
But for some people just likegoing too slow.
You can go too fast, where youkind of scare yourself and and
we have to assess what's goingto to be best and then we're
(16:00):
going.
You have to adjust that.
It is very much an experimentand I talk about this a lot like
jumping into a pool or dippingyour toe into into the pool,
into the cold water.
So when you are getting intothe pool and you want to get
into the pool and swim, we'regoing to call the pool food
(16:20):
exposures, we're going to callthe pool food freedom, food
flexibility.
When you're getting in, tryingto get into that pool, getting
into that pool, you will want toassess how you get in, whether
(16:40):
that is going right away up toknee height into the cold water,
or you're dipping a toe in atfirst to feel it out, or you are
jumping right into the pool,whatever works for you.
Now you might, like I said, ifyou go too fast and you jump
right in, you might have to getout right away and reassess how
(17:03):
much of your body you want toget into that pool.
You might be slowly dipping atoe and then the other toe and
then need to assess like, wow,I'm never going to get in the
pool at this pace.
It's actually causing it to beharder.
So you have to assess that pacefor yourself and use the
support.
Okay, so now let's talk aboutwhat to do.
(17:23):
All right, we talked about themost common pitfalls, the most
common stuck points, why peopledon't want to continue moving
forward, why they get too afraidand they stop and they don't
continue to food freedom becauseof the discomfort and the
feelings of failure and tellingthemselves that they're failing
and that's not meant for them.
Okay, so what do we do?
Here are some tools for yourtoolkit and some words of advice
(17:47):
that I often tell clients thatoften help them to be very
successful.
So, number one planning yourexposures.
In order to minimize problemslike stress, overwhelm,
unanticipated challenges, wewant to pre-plan.
It's not always necessary.
I wouldn't say you always haveto have a planned out exposure,
(18:10):
but in the beginning anddepending where you're at with
your anxiety around foodexposures and with your
relationship with food and body,planning is very, very helpful.
So an example of this may be ifyou wanted to expose yourself
to Oreos.
Let me use a different example.
If you wanted to exposeyourself to going out to a
restaurant.
(18:30):
Let's plan for what you mightexperience.
What do you need to besuccessful?
What can you anticipate?
How can you set yourself up fora positive mindset?
How can you take care ofyourself after the hard
experience?
So you might plan to go out tothe restaurant with your two
closest friends to support youand fill them in on what you're
(18:52):
going to do.
You might want to just exposeyourself to that menu beforehand
to really skit the gist of whatis going to be, so you're just
not overwhelmed when you get itright.
And to know what's on that menu, because if you see that
there's calories written on thatmenu, we want to.
We want to pick a differentrestaurant?
Okay.
You also might want to do theexposure of going to the
(19:15):
restaurant and picking what youfeel like in the moment.
However, if you're not quitethere yet, a plan that you can
have is picking what you want tohave that's going to be out of
your comfort zone when you getto that restaurant.
So let's say you pick pasta.
Okay, so you're planning outthat you're going to have pasta.
And another way to startplanning is what thoughts are
going to come up in your headwhen you're doing that exposure
(19:37):
work.
You could be maybeself-conscious, uncomfortable in
your clothes you can maybe befearful about because you have
this idea about carbs or yourbody not being able to handle
things, and so, to prep yourself, you can listen to the modules
again around what your body doesto take care of yourself, how
(19:58):
it can handle those things thebenefits of carbohydrates right.
You can also make sure youprepare yourself to dress
comfortably, because if you'rehyper conscious of your body,
especially when you're eatingsomething that is you're not
trusting up, then we want todress for the occasion, to feel
comfortable.
That's not going to pull onmaybe our stomach, right, so we
(20:19):
set ourselves up for that.
We also might want to plan outour mindset by having a podcast.
That is super helpful formindset around diet culture.
Prior to going into that foodexposure or after that food
exposure, as you come home, youmight want to plan for
distractions after anddistractions during, whether
(20:40):
it's certain topics that youreally want to talk about,
breathing exercises, gettingyourself into the moment with
the five sentence senses,practice spot, something that
the color blue look at, you know, find those things around the
room, that activity, right, youcan.
And then afterwards maybe youhave that.
(21:02):
You're going to watch yourfavorite movie, put on your
favorite comfortable outfit andor maybe you're going to go
right to sleep.
Try to sleep off any kind ofanxiety that might come up.
You might put on and have adance party, you might go for a
walk, whatever it might be, okay, plan for that.
It can set you up for the mostsuccess.
Okay, but then another exposureis not planning and kind of
(21:24):
being more spontaneous, so itjust depends what exposure
you're doing and where you're at.
The next thing we chatted aboutit in the last slide is being
aware of self-judgment.
When you are doing exposures,when you're going through this
work, you really want to usethat toolbox, or that tool from
the toolbox that we chattedabout for the program, which is
(21:45):
mindful awareness, rather thanjudging or judgment.
You don't want to be judgingthis experience, drawing all
these conclusions, doing those10 unhelpful ways of thinking
which are also in the coursetoolbox.
You want to be judging thisexperience, drawing all these
conclusions, doing those 10unhelpful ways of thinking which
are also in the course toolbox.
You want to be very aware ofyour thought process and judging
the experience.
Rather, we want to go into theexposure and have mindful
(22:06):
awareness and be curious.
The key word here is curiousabout your experience.
How am I experiencing thisexposure?
How am I experiencing thisexposure?
How am I experiencing this food?
What fear is coming up?
How am I feeling in my body?
What are my thoughts?
What are my surroundings,becoming very aware and curious
and being mindful of, ifjudgment comes up to, to be able
(22:30):
to look at that, thank it andlet it go and do that parts work
.
Also part of the larger programis that parts work.
Okay, being aware of what partof that is there?
Why is it there?
How is it trying to serve mewhen that judgment comes in?
Okay, next one starting smalland having stepping stones.
We chat about that in the lasttime, so I won't, I won't go
(22:52):
over that too much, but justmaking sure you're aware of the
anxiety levels that eachexposure brings up.
And having stepping stones tothe something larger.
So that might be.
If you're exposing yourself topasta, it might be having pasta
around, then a bite of pasta,then a pasta, a bite of pasta
with some sauce that scares you,then a small plate of pasta,
(23:14):
then a small plate of pasta,then a larger plate of pasta,
maybe having pasta every day,pasta every week, and having
those stepping stones andgetting to more discomfort while
staying in your comfort zone,in your relatively uncomfortable
comfort zone.
And then the next thing isbusting those myths right.
So going back to those moduleswhere we are going over those
(23:36):
myths around food.
We're talking about thosemisconceptions.
So go to those modules, go toexternal podcasts, external
books to help you to know thetruth and remember the truth
about carbs, for example, aroundpasta.
That's going to be reallyhelpful because knowledge is
powerful, knowledge is key andit's going to really create this
(23:58):
great foundation so that whenyou're going in to the exposure
you're not thinking, oh my gosh,this pasta is going to kill me
because of these things I heardfrom diet culture, but instead
you are hearing your own voice,the new education, and you're
empowered with the fact thatcarbs are good for you.
Carbs are necessary.
You can listen to your body.
Your body can handle it.
(24:18):
Diets aren't good Blah, blah,blah, blah, blah.
Okay.
Now the next thing is assessingwhat you are afraid of and
getting to the bottom of thatfear.
So when that fearful part comesup for you before, during or
after that exposure, you, if youneed to distract because you're
too uncomfortable, okay,distract, perfect.
But if you don't have todistract, get very curious with
(24:43):
that part of you that isspeaking to you about that fear,
so we can understand that fearmore, so we can help it to
become not so scary or not afear anymore, the more awareness
you have around the fear, whyit's there to disprove it, to
comfort yourself, to supportyourself through that fear and
still move forward, the more soyou're going to set yourself up
(25:07):
for a lot of success by closingyour eyes to that fear,
pretending it doesn't exist.
That's actually not going tohelp because you're going to
have this thing unconsciously,that we don't have awareness
around telling you don't do that, don't do that, do that, don't
do that, and all we can hear isdon't do that, but we don't know
why.
We can't empower ourself withthe why, with the education,
(25:27):
with the tools that that fearneeds in order to move forward
with the fear.
Okay, the next thing is justassessing again your mindset,
how you're thinking in thoseunhelpful thinking styles.
So go back to that toolbox.
Or if you are aware, aftergoing through that toolbox, what
you tend to do most, forexample, if you really use that
(25:51):
black and white thinking,unhelpful thinking style, then
that's going to be important toknow as you go into these food
exposures and you start usingthat black and white thinking
and applying that toward yourexperience.
We want to be aware and shiftthose thoughts assess, analyze,
comfort, support and shift thosethoughts.
Next thing is and this is a bigthing and that is, people can
(26:16):
be unsuccessful with foodexposures or fully moving to
food freedom, which is why I'vecreated this program.
Why I have support in thisprogram, is because people don't
know it's an option for them tomove to a place where, um, that
that this is possible, thatthey won't stay in this
incredible discomfort with foodexposures, and so they.
(26:38):
They go back to where they wereand they're really now fearing
the experience that they had andstopped with.
You know, they stopped with thescary experience of going to
the restaurant and possiblybeing terrifying, and that all
of these thoughts came up and itwas just horrible, right, and
then that's the only experiencethey have with food exposure.
(26:58):
So they stop and they don'tmove forward.
You need to get support,accountability and someone
holding hope for you andencouraging you to move forward
many times to be able tocontinue moving forward, and I'm
going to give you an examplehere.
When I was 16, I drove throughmy garage door, in front of
friends as well, but anywho, Idrove through the garage door
(27:20):
and I remember I went in thehouse and I was crying and I
locked myself in the bathroomand my dad followed me and he
said we're getting in the car.
And I was like heck, no, we'renot getting in the car, I'm not
getting in the car, I'm notgoing back out there, I just
drove through the garage door.
I never know how to drive Right.
If I didn't get back in thatcar, it would have been way
scarier to drive.
(27:40):
I could have jumped to allthese conclusions about that
experience held onto.
That experience said that'sjust what driving's like.
That's the kind of driver I amand maybe possibly always had
trouble driving or never wantedto drive again.
However, because I was forcedto keep going, I was forced to
create new experiences, tocreate more comfort, to see that
(28:02):
, oh, I will survive.
I won't always drive throughgarage doors and knock on wood.
I haven't done it again yet andI was okay.
So that's the same thing withfood exposures.
We want you to get the supportnecessary and accountability
necessary from someone who canprovide that, like in the group
program for us and otheraccountability buddies to keep
(28:22):
going right.
And that leads me to the lastpoint of keep going.
Don't give up People who don'tget to full food freedom.
The reason why is because theydid not keep going with the
discomfort.
They stopped with thediscomfort because of the fear
that came up and I hold a lot ofcompassion for them.
That's so awful, it keeps themstuck.
It's so not good.
But we don't want you to bethat person.
(28:45):
We want you to keep goingthrough the discomfort.
Get those, the build thoseskills, build that toolbox,
increase your window oftolerance so you get to food
freedom.
Um, and that other side whereyou don't have to fear these
things anymore, you don't everhave to do food exposures again
because it's it's just neutraland you have trust with your
body.
Okay, with that, we'll go aheadand end here and we will see
(29:05):
you in the next module.
Okay, we're going to dive more into exposure work
just to give you more support.
We're going to get into thework.
We're going to address thebarriers that you may come
across, that you are comingacross, that you're experiencing
those barriers, stuck points,whatever you want to call them.
Just what?
Those things, those beliefs,those perceptions, those actual
(00:24):
practices that get you stuckwhen you're doing exposure work,
that cause you to feel like youare not going to be successful,
you can't be successful, youdon't want to continue moving
forward, that create thatoverwhelm.
And then we're going to talkabout how to get through them.
So you have the tools, theknowledge, the know-how and the
(00:47):
encouragement and support tokeep going despite the barriers
and stuck points that you'reexperiencing.
I want to say those stuckpoints are inevitable.
You can get stuck in all ofthem.
You can get stuck in all ofthem consistently.
And that's the reason I want totalk about it.
It's because I have never gonethrough this with my clients, um
, and where someone did not getstuck or get scared to keep
(01:10):
going or just like plowedthrough the exposure work, no
problem.
It's hard work and there's alot of things that come up that
create these barriers mentally,these blocks that cause us to
believe that we can't moveforward.
It's not for us, and so it's abig mindset thing here as well,
and because we're still formingnew experiences, new neural
(01:33):
pathways, those old beliefs arestill very much there which
don't aid and help us in movingforward with these exposures.
So, yes, it's just totallynormal.
I want to very much normalizethis as we get started and let's
get into it.
So the barriers and stuck pointsFirst one I tried it and blank
(01:57):
happened beliefs.
So these beliefs may be.
I tried this exposure withOreos and I binged on them and
case in point right.
So therefore I cannot continue.
Another example I tried toexpose myself to having more ice
(02:22):
cream and bringing that in, andI have been having ice cream
every day.
So I should stop all thesebeliefs.
These kinds of beliefs reallykeep people stuck and let's walk
through some of them.
So when we have this thoughtthat I tried Oreos and I binged
(02:42):
on them and then therefore Ishould stop, we're connecting
the wrong dots here and havingthis kind of mindset is going to
prohibit you and cause you toget stuck and not move forward.
This is these stuck pointsbinging feeling, very
(03:04):
uncomfortable feeling, maybestuck in the binging more than
you would have hoped for, maybefeeling more shameful or more
scared than you would have hopedfor.
In the experience, all are justvery normal and the thing we
don't want to do is draw aconclusion about it.
Okay.
So we want to say I tried toexpose myself to Oreos and I
(03:28):
binged on them, and that makessense because I haven't had
Oreos in a long time and that'smy natural body, my, my body
response to this, and so thatmeans I need to keep exposing
myself to Oreos, to dechargethem, to feel more comfortable
with them, so I need to keepgetting uncomfortable and trust
(03:48):
that the charge I will, theOreos will lose its charge and I
will no longer want to binge onthem.
Okay, so that's a very, veryimportant shift to moving
forward is to accept thestruggles and barriers that come
along and to not draw theseconclusions about them.
Ok, and this is when thishappens.
(04:09):
That's why it's reallyimportant to seek that support.
So if you currently are in thefood program and not just have
purchased the food course aloneor parts of the food course
alone, of the food course alone,that the support is highly
encouraged due to this verything which is getting caught in
(04:35):
these mindset traps, losinghope because of the
uncomfortable experiences you'rehaving and then deciding to not
want to move forward, whereaswhen you have that support and
encouragement from your supportteam those leaders, but also the
other people going through it,you can hear all the insights
and encouragement of wherepeople have been in the same
spot and can encourage you.
Just keep going, you'll get outof it.
(04:56):
And those leaders who say thisshould be normal, keep going.
How can we support you?
So we want to be very carefulof those, those thoughts, and
this is another, anotherreminder.
I know we went over this, butwhen we have charged up foods,
when we're doing exposures andwe have charged up foods are
(05:17):
really set in ingrained rules.
They are going to take time.
They are going to take repeatedexposures, not just one, not
just two, multiple.
Now you may have some that areone and two and that's maybe
because they are not as chargedup in your mind.
(05:37):
But if we had a scale of acharge from one to 10, those
charged up foods that are maybeat a 10, or that charged up rule
that you break that's at a 10,that's going to take more
exposure work than somethingthat's charged up at a two, and
the reason for that is becauseyou have more fear around that
10, you have more shame comingup around it, and so, and that
(05:58):
fear and shame and distrustaround that food experience in
rural is going to cause moreanxiety, cause more judgment,
cause more fear and then in turn, you know, going to kind of
work against you, and so that'swhy we need more practice with
it.
Okay, so just keep tellingyourself, the more charged up
(06:21):
this will be, the moreuncomfortable it will be, the
more I will have to practice.
But that doesn't mean it won'twork.
It just means I need morepractice.
Okay, the next thing, um, andI'm getting, I'm going a little
bit into how to fixing it.
It's going to be hard to justexplain these stuck points
without saying how to fix them.
So I'm going to probably speakto how to fix these all a little
(06:43):
bit, but then on the next slidewe're going to go over what
tools to use to address all ofthese different stuck points.
Okay, all right.
Next one Too uncomfortable ornot getting uncomfortable enough
?
So let's talk about the firstone.
It's too uncomfortable or notgetting uncomfortable enough?
So let's talk about the firstone.
It's too uncomfortable.
If you are doing these exposuresand they are out of your window
(07:06):
of tolerance, go back to thecourse toolbox.
If you're in the large programand you in the large body image
program with the food program,go back to the tool, the course
toolbox, and it talks about thewindow of tolerance.
But if you're out of yourwindow of tolerance, if you are
out of this place where you cancope, where you are just too
overwhelmed or dysregulated ortoo underwhelmed and dissociated
(07:28):
, that is too uncomfortable.
We want to get to a place wherewe are uncomfortable or even
very uncomfortable, but we're inour window of tolerance to be
able to be there in the momentwithout getting too overwhelmed
or without dissociating andleaving our bodies and not being
even part of the experience,right.
So if you're too uncomfortable,that means the exposure may be
(07:49):
too difficult and you need tobuild up to that specific
exposure.
So let's keep going with theOreos, because that's what we've
been referring to specificexposure.
So let's keep going with theOreos, because that's what we've
been referring to.
That's the example we've beenreferring to.
Okay, so when it comes to Oreos,that Oreo experience, if that
is out of your window oftolerance.
It's a 10 charged food.
It's the one you went for rightaway before you started with
(08:11):
something else.
We'll want to go down a notchand start exposing ourselves to
something different.
Let's say, like, maybe chipsare a five for you on the
charged up list.
Let's start with that, buildour confidence with our ability
to have a successful foodexposure and to start feeling
more neutral around chips andthen move up to the Oreo.
(08:33):
We want to be in a tolerancelevel of discomfort, but still
there and not overwhelmed.
And maybe we can label this asanywhere from an exposure of 3
out of 10 on anxiety to maybe 6out of 10 or 5 out of 10 on the
anxiety level.
So you can just build thatconfidence and still get
(08:55):
uncomfortable, but not toouncomfortable.
So you can just build thatconfidence and still get
uncomfortable, but not toouncomfortable.
The other reason why exposuresmay not be working for you or
you're getting stuck in thatexposure work and neutralizing
food is because you're notgetting uncomfortable enough.
You're still staying toocomfortable.
You might be in that range ofone or two on the anxiety level,
(09:16):
um, and you're not pushingyourself quite enough to create
that neutrality.
For example, if you're exposingyourself to Oreos and you are
already comfortable with havingone Oreo.
You allow yourself that andthat is um a rule that you're
you have already already allowed.
(09:38):
Then to create full peace withthat, we need to keep going and
push ourselves.
We stay in our comfort zone.
We only build that amount ofcomfort right If you are only
feeling comfortable by.
If you have a rule that says Ican only have a sweet a day to
(09:59):
feel safe.
It's great, you feel safe inthat.
But what happens when you wantto have two sweets a day or
three sweets a day?
We want to keep pushing thelimit so that we can get to that
place where we have built fulltrust, comfort in all of these
different experiences.
Another example is we want toreally create, we want to create
(10:24):
flexibility, so the moreuncomfortable we can get the
best, the better.
So if you're really, reallycomfortable with having this
certain way of eating, atcertain times a day, what your
food looks like right certaintimes a day, what your food
looks like right we want to getreally uncomfortable by drastic,
by moving, moving slowly to adrastic change where you're
eating at totally differenttimes, totally different things
(10:45):
and you're changing that upevery single day, because then
you are building all of thesedifferent experiences then and
you can show yourself I'm safe,I can handle this, I'm still
okay.
Oh look, now I don't reallyworry about what time I eat
during the day.
Oh, now those things no longerscare me, right?
So you want to make sure youkeep.
(11:08):
You get uncomfortableconsistently and you don't stay
comfortable, because then changedoesn't happen and what you see
is, the more and more you breakthese rules, it's going to be
uncomfortable, but instead ofbeing at a six out of 10 for a
certain exposure, it becomes afive out of 10, a four out of 10
.
And that food becomes way moreneutral.
(11:30):
No big deal, you don't care,it's not, doesn't feel like it's
in control of you.
It gets a ton care, it's not,doesn't feel like it's in
control of you.
It gets a ton, just moreneutral.
You get more free.
So don't do yourself thedisservice of staying
comfortable, because then youcan't create change.
So keep getting uncomfortable.
Have that accountability.
Reach out for support to helpyou, to assess are you getting
(11:52):
uncomfortable enough so they canpush you?
Super, super important.
Okay, the next thing is tellingyourself and I should have put
this in quotes I will never getthere.
This is not for me, and we cantack this onto the mindset for
the first point that we wentover.
But mindset is very, veryimportant here.
(12:14):
Oh, another thing here Ithought I had, which was
judgment.
So the mindset of this critical, a critical mindset of yourself
, judgmental mindset, based onthe struggles that you're having
, if you're judging yourexperience rather than being
curious about the experience,it's going to definitely keep
(12:36):
you stuck because it causes youto have these thoughts and
beliefs that, like this one, Iwill never get there.
This is not meant for me.
What that does is it totallycloses the door on the
opportunities that lie ahead.
If you are telling yourself,because I did this exposure and
(12:56):
it didn't work the way I wanted,or I'm not where I want to be
yet as quickly as I want to be,so I'm never going to get there,
this is not meant for me.
You are just closing the dooron that and you can honestly
drastically change the outcomeof the experience because you
stopped too soon because of whatyou were telling yourself.
(13:20):
So we really want to be carefulof our mindset and falling into
that trap where people and I getthis all the time.
I mean I don't know if Ihaven't gotten this from a
client yet where they have beengoing through exposures and they
say I can see how this worksfor other people, but this was
not meant for me and the reason.
It's very understandable thatyou feel this way and I want to
(13:43):
validate that, and that isbecause it's very, very scary to
do something so differently andgo against all of these rules
inside your head.
And when you don't have trustin something, what's going to
come up is all of that distrustduring that discomfort or during
that quote unquote failureyou're saying you're having.
But that barrier, that failure,that struggle point, is
(14:06):
necessary to get to the otherside.
So you have to think of it inthis work.
As I am here, I do not havetrust.
In order to get to distrust, Ineed to go through all of those
failures, all of those struggles, those binges, that discomfort
in order to get to the otherside.
If you don't go through it, youwill not get to it.
(14:30):
You have to go through it toexperience that.
The next thing that can create astuck point for food exposures
is going too slow.
What I find is if people areexposing themselves too slowly,
then it can feel like you'rereally stuck because you don't
(14:51):
see the progress of the exposurework, because you're not
challenging yourself enough.
So if you are, just if you'rebringing in I'm going to go back
to the chip example If you'rebringing in a chip a day and
you're not having a handful orletting yourself just eat from
the bag and going to an exposurelike that, if that is in your
(15:15):
comfortable range and yourwindow of tolerance, then you
can be working on one chip for awhole week, then need to bring
in two chips, then need to bringin ice cream, then need to
bring in candy, then need tobring in eating outside of your
comfort zone times.
So you need to, we need toassess how slowly you're going,
because it can be discouraging.
The other thing is going tooquickly.
(15:36):
Now there is no right pace.
It's going to be different foreveryone and it depends on your
how you're experiencing it andwhere you are.
But for some people just likegoing too slow.
You can go too fast, where youkind of scare yourself and and
we have to assess what's goingto to be best and then we're
(16:00):
going.
You have to adjust that.
It is very much an experimentand I talk about this a lot like
jumping into a pool or dippingyour toe into into the pool,
into the cold water.
So when you are getting intothe pool and you want to get
into the pool and swim, we'regoing to call the pool food
(16:20):
exposures, we're going to callthe pool food freedom, food
flexibility.
When you're getting in, tryingto get into that pool, getting
into that pool, you will want toassess how you get in, whether
(16:40):
that is going right away up toknee height into the cold water,
or you're dipping a toe in atfirst to feel it out, or you are
jumping right into the pool,whatever works for you.
Now you might, like I said, ifyou go too fast and you jump
right in, you might have to getout right away and reassess how
(17:03):
much of your body you want toget into that pool.
You might be slowly dipping atoe and then the other toe and
then need to assess like, wow,I'm never going to get in the
pool at this pace.
It's actually causing it to beharder.
So you have to assess that pacefor yourself and use the
support.
Okay, so now let's talk aboutwhat to do.
(17:23):
All right, we talked about themost common pitfalls, the most
common stuck points, why peopledon't want to continue moving
forward, why they get too afraidand they stop and they don't
continue to food freedom becauseof the discomfort and the
feelings of failure and tellingthemselves that they're failing
and that's not meant for them.
Okay, so what do we do?
Here are some tools for yourtoolkit and some words of advice
(17:47):
that I often tell clients thatoften help them to be very
successful.
So, number one planning yourexposures.
In order to minimize problemslike stress, overwhelm,
unanticipated challenges, wewant to pre-plan.
It's not always necessary.
I wouldn't say you always haveto have a planned out exposure,
(18:10):
but in the beginning anddepending where you're at with
your anxiety around foodexposures and with your
relationship with food and body,planning is very, very helpful.
So an example of this may be ifyou wanted to expose yourself
to Oreos.
Let me use a different example.
If you wanted to exposeyourself to going out to a
restaurant.
(18:30):
Let's plan for what you mightexperience.
What do you need to besuccessful?
What can you anticipate?
How can you set yourself up fora positive mindset?
How can you take care ofyourself after the hard
experience?
So you might plan to go out tothe restaurant with your two
closest friends to support youand fill them in on what you're
(18:52):
going to do.
You might want to just exposeyourself to that menu beforehand
to really skit the gist of whatis going to be, so you're just
not overwhelmed when you get itright.
And to know what's on that menu, because if you see that
there's calories written on thatmenu, we want to.
We want to pick a differentrestaurant?
Okay.
You also might want to do theexposure of going to the
(19:15):
restaurant and picking what youfeel like in the moment.
However, if you're not quitethere yet, a plan that you can
have is picking what you want tohave that's going to be out of
your comfort zone when you getto that restaurant.
So let's say you pick pasta.
Okay, so you're planning outthat you're going to have pasta.
And another way to startplanning is what thoughts are
going to come up in your headwhen you're doing that exposure
(19:37):
work.
You could be maybeself-conscious, uncomfortable in
your clothes you can maybe befearful about because you have
this idea about carbs or yourbody not being able to handle
things, and so, to prep yourself, you can listen to the modules
again around what your body doesto take care of yourself, how
(19:58):
it can handle those things thebenefits of carbohydrates right.
You can also make sure youprepare yourself to dress
comfortably, because if you'rehyper conscious of your body,
especially when you're eatingsomething that is you're not
trusting up, then we want todress for the occasion, to feel
comfortable.
That's not going to pull onmaybe our stomach, right, so we
(20:19):
set ourselves up for that.
We also might want to plan outour mindset by having a podcast.
That is super helpful formindset around diet culture.
Prior to going into that foodexposure or after that food
exposure, as you come home, youmight want to plan for
distractions after anddistractions during, whether
(20:40):
it's certain topics that youreally want to talk about,
breathing exercises, gettingyourself into the moment with
the five sentence senses,practice spot, something that
the color blue look at, you know, find those things around the
room, that activity, right, youcan.
And then afterwards maybe youhave that.
(21:02):
You're going to watch yourfavorite movie, put on your
favorite comfortable outfit andor maybe you're going to go
right to sleep.
Try to sleep off any kind ofanxiety that might come up.
You might put on and have adance party, you might go for a
walk, whatever it might be, okay, plan for that.
It can set you up for the mostsuccess.
Okay, but then another exposureis not planning and kind of
(21:24):
being more spontaneous, so itjust depends what exposure
you're doing and where you're at.
The next thing we chatted aboutit in the last slide is being
aware of self-judgment.
When you are doing exposures,when you're going through this
work, you really want to usethat toolbox, or that tool from
the toolbox that we chattedabout for the program, which is
(21:45):
mindful awareness, rather thanjudging or judgment.
You don't want to be judgingthis experience, drawing all
these conclusions, doing those10 unhelpful ways of thinking
which are also in the coursetoolbox.
You want to be judging thisexperience, drawing all these
conclusions, doing those 10unhelpful ways of thinking which
are also in the course toolbox.
You want to be very aware ofyour thought process and judging
the experience.
Rather, we want to go into theexposure and have mindful
(22:06):
awareness and be curious.
The key word here is curiousabout your experience.
How am I experiencing thisexposure?
How am I experiencing thisexposure?
How am I experiencing this food?
What fear is coming up?
How am I feeling in my body?
What are my thoughts?
What are my surroundings,becoming very aware and curious
and being mindful of, ifjudgment comes up to, to be able
(22:30):
to look at that, thank it andlet it go and do that parts work
.
Also part of the larger programis that parts work.
Okay, being aware of what partof that is there?
Why is it there?
How is it trying to serve mewhen that judgment comes in?
Okay, next one starting smalland having stepping stones.
We chat about that in the lasttime, so I won't, I won't go
(22:52):
over that too much, but justmaking sure you're aware of the
anxiety levels that eachexposure brings up.
And having stepping stones tothe something larger.
So that might be.
If you're exposing yourself topasta, it might be having pasta
around, then a bite of pasta,then a pasta, a bite of pasta
with some sauce that scares you,then a small plate of pasta,
(23:14):
then a small plate of pasta,then a larger plate of pasta,
maybe having pasta every day,pasta every week, and having
those stepping stones andgetting to more discomfort while
staying in your comfort zone,in your relatively uncomfortable
comfort zone.
And then the next thing isbusting those myths right.
So going back to those moduleswhere we are going over those
(23:36):
myths around food.
We're talking about thosemisconceptions.
So go to those modules, go toexternal podcasts, external
books to help you to know thetruth and remember the truth
about carbs, for example, aroundpasta.
That's going to be reallyhelpful because knowledge is
powerful, knowledge is key andit's going to really create this
(23:58):
great foundation so that whenyou're going in to the exposure
you're not thinking, oh my gosh,this pasta is going to kill me
because of these things I heardfrom diet culture, but instead
you are hearing your own voice,the new education, and you're
empowered with the fact thatcarbs are good for you.
Carbs are necessary.
You can listen to your body.
Your body can handle it.
(24:18):
Diets aren't good Blah, blah,blah, blah, blah.
Okay.
Now the next thing is assessingwhat you are afraid of and
getting to the bottom of thatfear.
So when that fearful part comesup for you before, during or
after that exposure, you, if youneed to distract because you're
too uncomfortable, okay,distract, perfect.
But if you don't have todistract, get very curious with
(24:43):
that part of you that isspeaking to you about that fear,
so we can understand that fearmore, so we can help it to
become not so scary or not afear anymore, the more awareness
you have around the fear, whyit's there to disprove it, to
comfort yourself, to supportyourself through that fear and
still move forward, the more soyou're going to set yourself up
(25:07):
for a lot of success by closingyour eyes to that fear,
pretending it doesn't exist.
That's actually not going tohelp because you're going to
have this thing unconsciously,that we don't have awareness
around telling you don't do that, don't do that, do that, don't
do that, and all we can hear isdon't do that, but we don't know
why.
We can't empower ourself withthe why, with the education,
(25:27):
with the tools that that fearneeds in order to move forward
with the fear.
Okay, the next thing is justassessing again your mindset,
how you're thinking in thoseunhelpful thinking styles.
So go back to that toolbox.
Or if you are aware, aftergoing through that toolbox, what
you tend to do most, forexample, if you really use that
(25:51):
black and white thinking,unhelpful thinking style, then
that's going to be important toknow as you go into these food
exposures and you start usingthat black and white thinking
and applying that toward yourexperience.
We want to be aware and shiftthose thoughts assess, analyze,
comfort, support and shift thosethoughts.
Next thing is and this is a bigthing and that is, people can
(26:16):
be unsuccessful with foodexposures or fully moving to
food freedom, which is why I'vecreated this program.
Why I have support in thisprogram, is because people don't
know it's an option for them tomove to a place where, um, that
that this is possible, thatthey won't stay in this
incredible discomfort with foodexposures, and so they.
(26:38):
They go back to where they wereand they're really now fearing
the experience that they had andstopped with.
You know, they stopped with thescary experience of going to
the restaurant and possiblybeing terrifying, and that all
of these thoughts came up and itwas just horrible, right, and
then that's the only experiencethey have with food exposure.
(26:58):
So they stop and they don'tmove forward.
You need to get support,accountability and someone
holding hope for you andencouraging you to move forward
many times to be able tocontinue moving forward, and I'm
going to give you an examplehere.
When I was 16, I drove throughmy garage door, in front of
friends as well, but anywho, Idrove through the garage door
(27:20):
and I remember I went in thehouse and I was crying and I
locked myself in the bathroomand my dad followed me and he
said we're getting in the car.
And I was like heck, no, we'renot getting in the car, I'm not
getting in the car, I'm notgoing back out there, I just
drove through the garage door.
I never know how to drive Right.
If I didn't get back in thatcar, it would have been way
scarier to drive.
(27:40):
I could have jumped to allthese conclusions about that
experience held onto.
That experience said that'sjust what driving's like.
That's the kind of driver I amand maybe possibly always had
trouble driving or never wantedto drive again.
However, because I was forcedto keep going, I was forced to
create new experiences, tocreate more comfort, to see that
(28:02):
, oh, I will survive.
I won't always drive throughgarage doors and knock on wood.
I haven't done it again yet andI was okay.
So that's the same thing withfood exposures.
We want you to get the supportnecessary and accountability
necessary from someone who canprovide that, like in the group
program for us and otheraccountability buddies to keep
(28:22):
going right.
And that leads me to the lastpoint of keep going.
Don't give up People who don'tget to full food freedom.
The reason why is because theydid not keep going with the
discomfort.
They stopped with thediscomfort because of the fear
that came up and I hold a lot ofcompassion for them.
That's so awful, it keeps themstuck.
It's so not good.
But we don't want you to bethat person.
(28:45):
We want you to keep goingthrough the discomfort.
Get those, the build thoseskills, build that toolbox,
increase your window oftolerance so you get to food
freedom.
Um, and that other side whereyou don't have to fear these
things anymore, you don't everhave to do food exposures again
because it's it's just neutraland you have trust with your
body.
Okay, with that, we'll go aheadand end here and we will see
(29:05):
you in the next module.
Popular Podcasts
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.