124 | Pt1 | Dr John Brinkley : The Quackiest Quack in Medical History - Black Cat Report | UFOs, Cryptids, True Crime & Paranormal

Episode Transcript
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(00:01):
MDPHDMCLLDDHPS CD4 phase compound operation.
Cut out goat testicles. Twin incisions in the patient's
scrotum. Remove patient's testicles.
Replace with goat testicles. Inject 2CC's of half percent of

(00:24):
mercuricrome suture using cat gut stitching.
Enjoy the benefits of new found vigor and come back in a week
for check up. And as always, think your local
goat and whatever you do, don't make eye contact with them.
I didn't see you there. It all started early this
morning. From hunting ghosts to Bigfoot

(00:46):
UFOs. Cryptids, true crime,
paranormal, and more I. Always wanted to see UFO.
Oh I was. I was researching for your
entertainment. That's Bigfoot's cat.
He basically wrote the book on Monarch.
We aren't really comedians. What if Buddha did cocaine?
The Addams family on meth. This is the Black Hat report.
See you on the other side. Good evening all and welcome to

(01:11):
the Black Cat Report and episode124.
I am Joey and with me is a man that actually needs no
introduction, but I'm going to do it anyways.
Doctor Gil Basset Hound, Bentley, MD.
Web MD, Thank you very much. I got my certificate via Google.

(01:32):
Google University. Yeah, that's the best one.
That's the easiest one. Before we get into the episode,
we want to take a moment and sayplease follow us on Patreon.
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(01:54):
We do movie nights, other shows,and we have a few unreleased
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Report. Also with our last series, that
was a listener request, Ronald True, and it was sent to us by
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that. And you can do that with us too.

(02:15):
You can e-mail us at contact at Black Cop dot report or go on
our Patreon live chat and send us episode ideas.
We love it because we get to getthese crazy ideas for shows and
you know, we love to do that. 100% and I also do have links
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(02:36):
Make it super easy for folks. I will say without a doubt,
every time we do get a listener ID submission, we go hard on the
suggestions. There's a couple that we still
have lined up looking at you Max.
You know, we're making sure thatwe have the time to dedicated
to, to our listeners for the suggestion.

(02:57):
So we haven't forgotten. We're just planning if you, if
we're ever silent, it's because we're scheming.
That's that's what's going on. So.
Truth, Truth Watch. Today we're going to delve into
one of the wackiest characters, or should I say the quackiest
characters I have found so far. And I love wacky characters.

(03:19):
The main source for today is Charlatan, America's most
dangerous huckster, the man who pursued him and the age of Flim
Flam by Pope Brock. And please excuse me if I
mispronounce some stuff because a lot of this stuff is very
catches your catch your tongue, tongue twisters and stuff like
that. So it's very, you know, trying

(03:41):
my best here. Well, John Richard Brinkley was
born on July 8th and 1885 in Beta, North Carolina, which is
48 minutes from Gil and I in Asheville, NC.
He's right in Jackson County, sohe's he was not far from us.
He's a loco legend. He's a loco.

(04:03):
Legend. You are correct.
He was born the illegitimate child of John Richard Brinkley
and Sarah Candace Burnett. His father was a mountain Dr.
and a preacher and it wasn't to really describe what his mother
did, but. Probably just his alley's a
little bit too low. We're going to need to fill it

(04:24):
in for it to get better. Mountain Dr. He's a he.
That's literally what the MD's stood for was mountain duct.
It was, yeah. His because he didn't mountain
go to school. Yeah well see that Ridge up
there? Too short and I need to make way
more steep. Adding to that, to help him

(04:48):
build those mountains up, he basically grew up on a rock
farm. So that made it easier for the
mountain Dr. to grow the mountains.
They were very, very poor so to say, because they grew up on a
rock farm. In the middle of mountains where
it's like everybody had rocks. Exactly.

(05:09):
Yeah, well, most of his neighbors and family called John
Brinkley lively as a cricket anda reckless little boy.
So he was very energetic and he had a lot of energy to get
through. And we're going to see how he
put that to good use. Though they thought of him this
way, they all also thought that he wasn't bound to toil away on

(05:33):
the family farm. They all thought he was going to
be famous. He was going to be famous like
he had this, you know, when people have that it factor, he
had an it factor. Honestly got you.
Well, Fast forward to January 27th, 19 O 7.
He's about 22 and he marries Sarah Wyke from a neighboring

(05:56):
farm. There's not a lot when he was
young because it really 1880s, there really wasn't a lot of
bookkeeping for just some randomfarmer, you know, and he's kind
of doing what he does and he's staying in the small town.
Well, once he gets married, theymet and married pretty quickly,
right? So maybe not more than the span
of a few months, literally a fewmonths.

(06:18):
And this would be like a continuing cycle in his life.
OK, well, as we will find out inthe rest of the story, Brinkley
was not a man to sit around on his laurels.
At around 22, he got married andhe then gathered a bunch of
people from around his hometown in North Carolina and started

(06:38):
what I would like to call a travelling play.
OK. All right.
It wasn't, It wasn't like normalplace.
Yeah. Yeah, it literally, it wasn't
like normal place. It was more the kind of snake
oil salesman style play that he would put on.
And this was I. Love.
This. Yeah.

(06:59):
And this was huge in that area, right?
Someone describe how his specific play went.
They would start with a nice violin playing and a dancer and
then move into a morality play. Basically where the head of
house or you know a female was killed because of something

(07:19):
happening that could have been cured by a miracle tonic.
Then he would just pop on stage with the dinner plate, hat, cut
away coat and pants that buttoned up the sides.
And he would. Prop up that tonic.
Yeah, he'd prop up that tonic and be like.
Look, he could have been cured. He.
Could have been cured. He was a swindler of the highest

(07:41):
pretty much from get go and. Fuck yes.
People were already doing this though.
This was like he was just jumping on the train, right.
You know, like this is snake oilsalesman was it started in the
West and and people were coming through.
It was it was all over the US atthe time.
Well, after a year of doing this, he decided that he was a
big fish in a small pond and it was time to go on to greater

(08:05):
things. As you know, a lot of people do
that want to that feel like they're better than the rest.
So he decided to pick up his steaks and he moved to Chicago,
sight unseen in 19 O eight with his wife and two kids, and with
another kid on the way at the time.
OK. He wanted to go into the

(08:27):
American Medical Association, which was headquartered in
Chicago at the time, and there was nothing for him to do but
choose a school and a medical focus.
So he chose the focus of allopathy, which is basically
the treatment of disease by conventional means or like using
drugs or surgery. So it's pretty much what became

(08:48):
the normal of now, you know. You know, they had used some
herbal remedies, but it was mostly just like using
conventional means, drugs and surgery, something like that.
So, yeah. He entered into the Bennett
Eclectic Medical College by borrowing the entry fee of $25
from a loan shark in Chicago. This is going to go well.

(09:13):
Right, right. Well, it's funny.
It just never comes back up again.
I guess it did go well. Yeah, Yeah.
He just, he got lucky. Well, I mean, we'll, we'll see.
We'll see in a few seconds. Yeah.
He had just strode into town basically with no money and a
whole family to feed. So as he was going to school by

(09:34):
day, you know, he was a student by day.
He became a Telegraph operator by night.
So he was working and going to school so much that he started
drinking very, very heavily. I mean, cheers to that, all
right. Cheers to that.

(09:54):
I do like to imagine, like, whatwas the career like for, like,
saxophone operators back in the day for telegraphs?
Like he's like, oh, she did what?
Your voice is incredible. Well, I can tell about your
taps. The Telegraph.
Yeah, Yeah. Well, he was basically young and

(10:17):
in college and he had numerous responsibilities that he
couldn't attend to because he was in college and he was
working to pay for that, You know, there's. 3 kiddos in
college. Kiddos.
What's really sad though, is he lost the last kit.
So the kid as they were moving to Chicago, they did they, I
think it was a stillborn kid andthey, you know, lost the kid.
So yeah, it was stillborn. He lost the kid.

(10:41):
So he's only had two kids with his first wife.
Well, spoiler alert, he attendedcollege until he had just one
year left and then abruptly quit.
OK. This would be one of his biggest
regrets, I think, of the rest ofhis life because we'll find out
later, well, he was broke and hecouldn't find the money to

(11:05):
finish the last year of medical school.
So. And he was quoted as saying,
like, I just had no money, you know, And as a Telegraph
operator, he probably wasn't getting paid much.
Bradley's just getting paid enough to feed some of the kids
and the wife and, and probably just enough to to eat, you know.
And, you know, he also spent a lot of money on alcohol.

(11:27):
So that really didn't help him much.
Yeah, that probably didn't help too much.
Throughout his years in school, Sally, his wife and Brinkley
started coming at odds with eachother.
And at the end of it, Sally justtold John, I actually really
don't like you. It wasn't that she had grown to

(11:49):
dislike him, she just found out that she plain out didn't like
him at all. You're kind of a douche.
Yeah, yeah. I mean, like, you know, they got
married, I mean, decently young,young in our idea of it.
He's 22. He got married at 22.
And I think she was maybe two orthree years younger and.

(12:10):
Yeah, just she's pretty much a aspinstress by that point, you
know, I guess they thought you were going to say she got
married at 7 and he was 18 or some crap like that.
No, no, no, no, no, it was, it was definitely, it was
definitely similar age at the time for that.
And and that's young. That's young for us at the idea
of it, but like, old for them, right?
Old as fudge, yeah. Yeah, exactly.

(12:34):
Well, a depressed and maybe soulsearching Brinkley decided that
his wife and children, he just couldn't take them anymore.
So he took a train out West and went through all the drinking
halls and towns that he could find.
And I mean, he found all the drinking halls he could find.

(12:54):
He wrote a guidebook. Yeah, he wrote the guidebook.
That's how he made his money. First off, kidding, But he
probably could have. Honestly, He could easily wrote
a guidebook of all the drinking halls he went to.
Well. It's like the original Yelp over
here. I love it.

(13:15):
Well, at this time, he's feelinglike a failure, right?
Nothing had gone right. His big move to Chicago pretty
much failed. He lost the love of his life or
wife. I don't think it was the love of
his life, but it was. It was definitely the love of
his life at the time. Maybe he never had it, but,
well, he lost at least the respectability of his family,
like his kids didn't respect him'cause he couldn't feed them

(13:37):
anymore. So in February of 1913, he
returned to Chicago from his drunken, rambling days.
You know, he was drinking and rambling for about one to two
years. He went West and he was like,
I'm just going to come back eventually.
Well, he came upon a chance meeting that would turn his life
around in a swanky bar, which heactually stood out in because he

(14:03):
really wasn't dressed that well.He met another person who also
wasn't dressed to the nines, a man named James Crawford, and
they definitely stood out because both of them were just
not the type to be in this bar and you know, swanky 191913 bar.
They were just not ready for this bar.

(14:24):
So basically they both looked like they should have been
considered the help at the at the bar.
Yes, yes, they should have been.Considered the hell.
Gotcha. Well, Crawford only had one arm,
so this also made him stand out in this bar.
Crawford told him he had lost his arm during a hunting
accident and to pay it no mind. OK.

(14:50):
Yeah, it was just like I just lost it in a hunting accident.
Don't worry about it. I mean, that doesn't seem too
wild, especially for like, yeah,just that day and age, you know
what I mean? 1913 at a bar, Yeah.
Yeah, it's like you got a hangnail, so they cut off your
arm at that point, Like, so it'snot, it's like, well, that could
have happened, you know? Yeah, and this was right before

(15:11):
World War One too. So like looking at it like the
USA what didn't get into World War One until 19, late 19171918.
So like it did they, you know, we weren't really doing much,
but this is like the lead up to the war.
It really wasn't hitting the shores yet, but in the summer of
1913, Brinkley and Crawford madetheir way through the South,

(15:34):
stopping in on Crawford's in Brinkley's old boss in
Knoxville, TN, who ran a syphilis museum.
No joke. What?
He ran a syphilis. Museum.
Yep, basically. Not a clinic.
Nope. It was a museum.

(15:55):
It was a museum. It showed all.
It was weird. It really the Syphilis Museum
was weird. You don't say.
It also he kind of doubled it aslike a hospital, but technically
he wasn't licensed so he had to have a front for his hospital.
It's a live action museum. It's a yeah.

(16:18):
We we work on you in the museum.You become you become the the
what we look at. It's a new form of art.
This is this is fantastic. I've up until this moment, I've
never had the desire to go to a syphilis museum.
But now I'm not going to be ableto get it out of my head.

(16:39):
I need, I need the merch from the gift shop at the syphilis
museum. I went to the syphilis museum
and all I got was this T-shirt and syphilis.
I mean the IT definitely, the merch definitely is sells itself
I think. I feel like from that.
It's like I'm allergic to penicillin but not this museum

(17:01):
like like well the I'm allergic name was penicillin maybe bad.
Yeah, yeah, for sure. Doctor Burke, he was named
Doctor Burke. So Doctor Burke was the and what
was funny is is like right before they moved again from
there, Brinkley would like tour around a little bit and do some
more snake oil salesman stuff with Crawford.
And he took on like he took on the name of Doctor Burke to kind

(17:23):
of give him like, oh, he's out touring and doing stuff like
that. That's like, I don't know,
Journey going back or CCR going back on tour, you know, and
without, you know, John Fogerty and they're just like, oh, we're
just keeping the name alive. It's like John Fogerty kind of
was the band. The voice was the band, you
know, like, sorry, CCR hot takes.

(17:47):
Well, Doctor Burke, the boss of John Brinkley, the ex, you know,
his ex boss, he started teachinghim quack bookkeeping and
customer psychology in exchange for calling himself Burke, like
I just said earlier when he was on tour, right.
So he taught them quack bookkeeping and customer
psychology. This would be so instrumental.

(18:08):
Yeah, yeah, yeah. This would be so instrumental
for his future because now he can figure out, OK, a customer
walks in, how can I sell him on what I want him to buy?
You know, I want to sell him thespecific cure.
How can I get him to do that? And this is this is like gold
for him. Yeah.

(18:29):
So Brinkley changed his name to Blakely.
Not that much different, not that much different from what he
was before, but he kind of wanted to hide his persona a
little bit. Well, they went on to arrive in
Greenville, NC, which is about 5hours east of us right now.
They started setting up credit in all of the area.

(18:50):
So they went into the banks, they went into the little areas
and we're just like, hey, the little other shops.
And they're like, hey, we're going to buy stuff from you.
Here's my name, here's my like credentials and stuff like that.
And we we're going to buy stuff on credit here.
So this makes makes sense for what they're gonna do.
But the first place they stopped, funnily enough, was the
barbershop to get their looks right?

(19:11):
Because customer psychology is super important for how you
look. But I also imagine this was the
best place at the time to get information on the people and
places in town. Because barbers hair stylists
know the dirt on everybody in town.
So yes. Yes, and from like a medical
standpoint too. Is this that far off from the

(19:34):
time when they were also the dentists slash pseudo doctors?
I think they had already been taken out of that.
I think, oh, 'cause they weren't, they weren't bleeding
anymore. Well, I mean, they, they weren't
bleeding anymore, but they. Something was the OR is we'll
find out were the Barber shops in Greenville, were they still

(19:58):
doing it? Because I kind of picture North
Carolina Barber shops probably kept that going into the 70s
just to guess. But let's.
Get into that Greenville at thistime, you know, 19131915, the 19
teens. Greenville was a very, very
small town. It is not too big of a town

(20:18):
right now, but it's much bigger than it was.
And as far as medicine goes, it was pretty fucking ass
backwards. The pharmacist across the street
from where they opened up shop was actually still bleeding
patients with leeches. There we go.
Yep, Yep. And you know, they came into

(20:39):
town. They're just like this place.
It's right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
This place is. Coming with them.
Big city ideas over here. So they set up a small
storefront and pharmacy downtown.
They charged $25 per person. And they were pretty much just
selling tonics. They were selling electrical

(21:00):
cures because those were some big things happened at the time.
So like, they would just like, ZAP you a little bit, some
electricity and you'd be like, oh, I feel better, you know,
randomly. Yeah.
Feel different. I think different is back then
different was better because there's so much pain and they
really didn't have like Tylenol.They really didn't have like

(21:20):
Advil. I mean, the the stuff existed.
I mean, they didn't have it. Yeah, they had aspirin and they
definitely had morphine and theyhad cocaine.
There wasn't a lot of mild treatment, I guess.
I guess to summarize, I think where you're going with this is
being electrocuted was considered mild compared to the

(21:42):
rest of the alternative. Oh yeah, 100%.
It's like you can get hit acrossthe head with a baseball bat or
get drunk on moonshine, which isgoing to have a more mild
impact. It's like, well, clearly the
baby should be hit with a baseball bat.
Oh yeah, that baby is not old enough to drink.

(22:04):
Yeah, just beat him up. But it's easy old enough to play
ball. The Yankees thought so.
Well, after they had start, you know, they set up in downtown,
got the storefront pharmacy downtown.
It wasn't that long, about one to two months later that they
just skipped town. They took all the money they
made because, again, they're snake oil salesman from Heart by

(22:27):
Trade. Then they scammed all the people
and they were not paying back any of the creditors that they
borrowed money from. Yeah.
He changed his name. So it was like he's like, oh,
this is easy, I'm going to get away with this.
No big deal. Yeah, well, they went on to
Memphis to relax and spend some of that hard earned money on

(22:47):
women. And of course.
Drinking. I mean, hell just went.
Crazy. Yeah, right.
So. And they're in Memphis.
They're in the promised land. So it was there that Brinkley
would actually meet the love of his life.
He met a woman named Minerva Jones.

(23:08):
Or is she like to be called many?
Cute nickname. If you told me to picture in my
head somebody named Minerva, it's not love of my life
material. I might be wrong.
Hey, anybody out there named Minerva?
Send us your photos. I'm just kidding.

(23:31):
I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding.
But no, Minerva's not. And my name's Gil.
So like, hey, I'm with you on that, you know, like I'm, you
know, not, not attractive first names, right?
But like, Minerva. I don't.
What is Minerva? Sounds like a type of chronic
nerve disease. I think cuz nerves in it.

(23:54):
Yeah, Minerva, like I've got minervinosis, you know?
Yeah, I mean, his heartache. His heartache was the one thing
you could never cure from a nerve.
And that's true. Well, it, it came from more of a
practical reason too. Not that, you know, he didn't
think she was good looking because they basically lasted
till he died. So it, you know, it was a good.

(24:17):
It was a good marriage. Well, she was 21, and she was
also the daughter of a prominentlocal physician.
Hit that. It don't hurt.
It don't hurt. Yeah, and just like the last
woman he met, he took no time atall to marry her.
It was only four days after theyhad met that they married.

(24:41):
That is passing Ronald True's ability to ingratiate, engage
and marry someone. I mean cause Ronald pulled off 3
marriages within six months and that includes time while he was
in jail and like this four days?Damn that's one day longer than
it took Jesus to come back to life.
That's crazy. Well, unfortunately.

(25:04):
He never actually divorced from his first wife, which makes it a
little bit weird, which he wouldactually remedy it later on in
February 1916. But you know, he did want to
remedy it. He just kind of forgot about it
I guess while he was getting drunk and traveling.

(25:25):
Yeah, it's fine. He was going under a different
name too, a lot of times. So it's not like, you know, you
could do those things back then.Nobody.
Cared. Yeah.
Well, when he, when he moved to,when he went to Memphis, he
started going by Brinkley. He started, he went back to
Brinkley, but he just used that as like his coverall for
Greenville, right. So.
Gotcha. Yeah, but like that time in

(25:46):
Greenville where he would have got the divorce.
Yeah, yeah. You know, what's he going to do,
walk into the local like recordsof the local court and be like,
hey, so I need to get a divorce.Also, it's under a different
name than the one you know me as.
Like he couldn't do that, you know?
It wouldn't work. Well, what's funny is Crawford

(26:06):
actually never changed his name.So want to talk about being able
to get caught for something? And just like I just said, the
piper was coming due or the billis coming due and they have to
pay the piper either or the sheriff from Greenville, NC had
tracked down Brinkley and Crawford all the way to Memphis.

(26:30):
I wanna say how actually good that is because at the time,
1913, right, people don't talk across state lines.
People don't talk across like county lines, especially to
sheriffs. Sheriffs did not.
It was not very easy to find somebody unless they were like,
you know, Billy the Kid level offame, you know, And at this

(26:52):
time, he wasn't really fat. He was just an almost a nobody.
This is an important note though, because look, you don't
fuck with somebody. Like don't cross somebody who is
bored and dedicated to their job.
Do never ever. I don't care if it's the if it's
customer assistance at Target. You do not cross the person who

(27:15):
is bored and dedicated to their job.
Country cops are bored and dedicated to their fucking job.
If it is slightly different thanwhat they're used to, they will
follow you to fucking Antarctica, all right.
They will find your ass. They've got nothing else to do.
And all the local laws and you know the, the legislative,

(27:36):
nobody cares if they're breakingthe law.
So there is no boundaries. They're bored and they will find
your ass. I'm I'm not shocked.
Also, if anybody's going to huntsomebody down in a big city,
it's going to be some country bumpkin cop.
Yep. Like they're the ones that got
the tracking skills. And I'm not even out here like
supporting cops or anything. I'm just saying like there's
certain ones you don't. The big city ones, if you can

(27:58):
hold off long enough and get away, they're going to have so
many different cases piled up ontheir desk.
If you could just hold out long enough that they're going to be
forced to forget about you. So like, break your laws in the
big city, hide in the country. That's that's the rule right
there, not the other way around.No, do not hide out in the city.
Never don't break laws out in the country and hide in the

(28:21):
city. That is not a good idea.
You do. They will come before you angry.
You're French frying when you should have pizzas.
That's what I'm trying to say. You French fried when you should
have pizzas if you do it that way.
So just just a little crime advice for you.
Yeah, and because they French fried instead of pizza, the
sheriff took them back to Greenville via train on December

(28:41):
8th, 1913. He was charged with forgery and
practicing without a license, which he would do many, many,
many, many, many more times. This time, he's got caught for
it. He had just returned from his
honeymoon with Minerva and was already in jail.

(29:03):
It was just four months after they married.
It was not even that long that he came back.
And then the sheriff was just like, hey, buddy.
Remember Me? And I just pictured the sheriff
the whole time in the background, like on the cruise,
just with like giant glasses andHawaiian shirt on, just like
taking notes. Yeah, Oh yeah, he.
Was just NIA coladas. It's just like they're writing

(29:26):
down everything. There is a funny story later.
On his wife is hotter than her name would let on.
Flashback to like when they're getting married and it's the
priest. It's the priest is the cop with
sunglasses and Hawaiian shirt on.

(29:46):
It was me all along. I've been tracking you the whole
time. Well, because they're both in
jail. And Brinkley was like, man, I I
don't have money. I just got back from the
honeymoon. Because he already spent most of
his money. Crawford paid most of the money,
which was several $1000 in, like, basic reparations to the

(30:08):
town for extorting them. Yeah, Crawford came in big.
Yeah, Crawford's the homie all right.
It didn't help him out and. He.
But I know Crawford no. Well, now that he was out of
jail, you know, Brinkley's out of jail and he's married for a
second time. He had no prospects.
He decided to buy a medical license from the Eclectic

(30:33):
Medicine University in Arkansas.That licensed him in eight
states for a nominal fee of about $100.00.
So and that day and age, it's a dollar.
So I looked it up. A dollar is $14.00, so that's
$1400 in as a nominal fee to license him in eight states, but

(30:57):
for eight states don't. Trust any medical school that's
called the Eclectic Medical School.
Yeah, I mean eclectic. Eclectic was the style of
medicine, but it didn't really work.
Yes, it was. It was the stock, yeah.
But it was basically found out to be a diploma mill later on,

(31:21):
so yeah. It was the DeVry University or
the Phoenix Online at the Arizona State or the Trump
University. Yeah.
Let's not forget Trump University.
Yeah, yeah. To you.
Well, he was now officially, well, I mean officially not
really licensed to practice medicine.

(31:42):
He then also divorced and finalized his he he also then
finalized his divorce and remarried Minerva in 1915.
So it was like it finally got, you know, did it proper because
he really wanted to like he didn't want to, he didn't want
to do bad. Like he loved Minerva and he
hated his ex-wife so. Yeah.

(32:05):
And we'll find out later she hated him even more than just
like disliked him. But we'll find that in the third
episode. Well, two years later, at the
start of the US actual involvement in World War One,
Brinkley was drafted into the military as a doctor.

(32:26):
Oh no. Which it's good because it kept
him stateside. He didn't have to go over to
Europe, you know, So that was probably better for him.
He also like, honestly, this might be the most experience he
had in legitimate medicine at the time because I imagine the
military was a little bit more intense about training.

(32:48):
You know, where it's like, no, you have to do this shit.
We don't give a fuck what you think.
Chop off their damn arm and givethem morphine.
You know, like actual medical practices maybe.
Or maybe they were just like, you got a what?
You got a degree, you're out there.
Like I don't know what it was like.
Let's get into it, because he was the only medical officer in
his unit and he was a first Lieutenant in the Army.

(33:11):
Damn he. Only served two months and 13
days and for half of the time hewas in the sick Bay complaining
of rectal fistula multiple. What is that?
I Googled it. I it's not, it's nothing.

(33:33):
It just sounds like you just wanted to punch somebody up the
butt with both hands. That's what it sounds like to
me. There are some things that are
similar, but it's not like, it'slike there's like a, a hole in
your rectum basically. But that's, it's, that's not
anything. He literally made this up so he

(33:54):
didn't have to do anything. And everybody was too scared to
check in to see if it was real. So they were just like, alright,
we believe you. Well, the people were already
well, were sick and he didn't care.
And he's just like whatever there's like just, you know,
there's like whatever, it doesn't matter anymore.
We're almost, you know, we're not really in this war.
I I mean, we do have a lot of people in the war, but like
Europe had already pretty much took the brunt of World War One,

(34:18):
as they would also do in World War Two.
Well, after he was dishonorably discharged in early October of
1917, he spotted a newspaper ad that said big and bustling
Milford, Kansas needs a physician.
Oh, with with no other prospectsat the time, and eager to open

(34:42):
up his own practice, he in Minerva packed up and went N to
Milford. I mean, he's licensed, legally
married, technically can say that he was a doctor in the
military. So this is this is legitimate
for this time period. Yeah.
He's he's not, he's not far off from where he wants.

(35:02):
He's he's like, yeah, I'm starting.
I feel it. You know he like he.
Feels really gonna do it this. Time.
Yeah, Now. When he arrived in Milford, KS,
he found the town neither bustling nor big, as the town
was only 200 people. Mostly farmers.

(35:22):
Mostly farmers pretty much. Yeah, he got all swindled.
But he figured out why not try and make a go of it?
I'll be the only doctor in town,right?
So there's no other physicians there.
OK, the going was very, very, very hard in Kansas, with super

(35:44):
cold winters and super hot summers.
Farmers struggled to make a living.
The Dust Bowl hadn't even hit yet because that was in the mid
1930s. But living was still hard.
This is about 40 to 50 years after the Benders murdered
travelers in Labette County, Kansas, And that was about 200

(36:05):
miles northwest. So.
So they're been graded and. Settled into the same place.
They. Were gonna turn this whole
grocry store into a medical institute, Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, they're only 200 miles.
Well, Milford, KS is 200 miles north of where they were.
They're in Labette County, so. That's basically neighbors in
Kansas. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

(36:28):
Well, during October and November of 1917, Brinkley made
house calls for sick farmers andtheir families, and many was
hired out as a midwife to the locals but.
It. Was about time for both of their
lives to change forever. Are you ready Gil?

(36:50):
Are you ready for this? Get my drink ready.
Get your drink ready now. Brinkley had a small physician's
office that he used in case people needed to come in for
treatments or small surgeries. In an early November of 1917,
after a nice dinner and Minnie had gone off to bed, a knock

(37:12):
came at the door. It was a 46 year old farmer
named Bill Stitchworth. He was Husky or a hat, and he
just honestly resembled a rough and tumble farmer in Kansas of
those days. When Brinkley invited him into
the office, Stitchworth sat downand said, Doctor, there's

(37:35):
something wrong with me, though.To look at me.
You wouldn't judge it. I do look Husky, don't I?
I'm all in. No pep.
I'm a flat tire and Brinkley responded with honestly.

(37:56):
I have tried mini serums, electricity and a whole manner
of things to bring forth manhoodagain, but nothing worked on
that condition. And to what would start the
whole beginning or maybe enrichment of Brinkley's life,
the farmer replied. Too bad I don't have Billy goat

(38:17):
nuts. Now there is some contention
with that story because Bill's family had another version of
the story that they told later. That was Brinkley's version of
the story, right? So that's, that's how he, he got

(38:38):
into it. The the family said it was
Brinkley who had offered free surgery to test this goat nut
surgery on him and even offered him hundreds of dollars to try
the surgery. Goat nut, that is actually a new
kind of milk you can put into your coffee.
Goat nut milk. I just wanted to say that too.

(38:59):
I wrote that in as a funny joke,and I laugh at my jokes as I
write them, not as I say them. Well, you know, it's lactose
free, high in protein and great if you want the irresistible
urge to climb mountains. True.
Yeah. Billy Goat Mountains.

(39:19):
Well, it's actually where it's from, the Billy Goat Mountain.
Well, anyways, I, I do believe that the real truth of that
night was probably somewhere in the middle of their stories.
I imagine that he came in and itwas late at night because his
wife, both of their wives, had gone to bed.
And he was like, kind of, yeah, how I say kind of like

(39:41):
embarrassed because, you know, he's, I mean, literally, guys,
we're talking about erectile dysfunction.
This is literally what this whole.
Story is Ed historically, Ed is like one of the biggest kind of,
you know, wet blankets on a masculine person's like
prospects at manhood or their concepts of manhood, right?

(40:04):
And also Ed. Is a guaranteed way to a make
billions and B swindle millions.Like guaranteed.
That's this is how the black rhino went extinct, right?
You can, you can sell anything. The Keira dudes, wee Willie,
wing Wang, people will buy it. People will fucking buy that

(40:26):
shit all day. Yeah, that's truth.
Well, I want to also explain howa swindler Dr. got to this
point, right? Because I really feel like most
people's minds don't go straightto putting goat's nuts into
their patients. So Brinkley and Minerva were

(40:47):
just barely making it. As I said, she was, you know,
she was practicing as a midwife.He was making house calls.
And they couldn't afford anything.
And John Brinkley, once we get to know his full character, he
could not imagine himself just living his life.
As we said, he had to leave his rock farm from his home to get

(41:09):
out there to be somebody new to to be somebody great.
And in all fairness, he started rock bottom.
He like the people from his hometown thought that he was of
better ilk, you know, and they said like he's he's going to be

(41:31):
famous. This guy's going to be amazing.
And is during his time, so many doctors were making a name for
him themselves and he wanted in on it.
Because I went through this list, There was so many doctors
at this time that were just trying random things to get to
get in their name on anything. There was like cancer cures,

(41:52):
There was like other male hormone cures.
There was like these crazy things that were happening at
the time. And you know, names were getting
put on buildings, names were getting put on like surgeries.
He wanted in on that. Well, two days after their first
meeting, they met up again during again the middle of the

(42:14):
night. The farmer slid onto the
operating table and then in walked Brinkley with a metal
sheet tray and on top of it, 2 goat testicles.
Yes, the operation took all of. 15 minutes?

(42:37):
Wow, that's 15 minutes. I would imagine it takes longer
just to sew them now by expiration.
Are you going to go into detail about what the operation is?
Because I'm going to ask you what happened during this
operation. Was it like, did you get out
some like bolt cutters go up to the masculine wiggle bits, just

(43:02):
grab them and snap. Bleeding starts.
You get some rubber bands out orwhatever the equivalent is, and
then he starts. I need, I need the graphic
details here. Joey, are you talking about
switching nuts? Didn't you listen to the intro?
There was like 4000 acronyms. I didn't listen to any of it.
I. Described what he did he made.

(43:24):
Basically I need to hear it in graphic detail.
OK, so. If I can't hear our listeners
squirming, you didn't. You didn't describe it enough.
But I need to hear the people squirming.
OK, tell me. Tell me what happened.
I'm going to tell you at the beginning of the next episode.
Be prepared. No, don't do that to us.

(43:46):
Joey. Tell us how did they attach the
little it's part the little stories and stuff?
Did they sew the tubes? How did they didn't even have
need it's. Part of the storytelling of it,
you gotta wait till the intro. Actually, it's gonna be right at
the beginning of the next episode, right around the
Believer, the next episode. Leave a comment, everybody,
wherever you're listening to this, if it's on YouTube, if
it's on Spotify somewhere, let us know if Joey should get into

(44:11):
graphic detail about attaching goat testicles to this poor
farmer middle this middle of nowhere in Kansas.
Yep, well after the 15 minutes, the farmer. 15.
Walked right on out. Walked right on out.

(44:31):
No big deal, he could walk. Wow, how much morphine did they
give this? They probably gave him a shit
ton or they probably just got him fucking wasted.
I I would say that he probably didn't give him morphine and he
probably got him wasted and thenjust the the 15 minutes probably

(44:52):
wasn't good. I'm taking well, as we'll say
later. I won't, I won't spoil that part
for you. He got the patient drunk is what
he did. Can I sidetrack to something I
just thought about here? For sure.
All right, cool, cool. This this might totally just
like that guy's nuts. This might get cut from from the

(45:12):
full episode. Now this one time in college, my
college days lived in a college town Bowling Green.
OH, and we'd sit out on our front porch in the evening.
And this fits because it's SaintPatrick's Day, and we're
recording this. This incident happened on Saint
Patrick's Day, right? It was my first, I would say, my

(45:37):
first real, you'll say, like street fight.
Like my first actual street fight.
This does get back to nuts at some point.
OK. Anyways, Yeah.
Well, it had been like, pouring rain and everything like that.
And it had finally lifted. And it was maybe, you know, and
in a college town right near theuniversity is where I was

(45:58):
renting at with my partner at the time and friends and
everybody. And we were sitting outside
smoking cigarettes. It's 2:30 in the morning.
These guys walk by and one of our friends is just on all
fours. She's on all fours.
Just, you know, even doing what you do at college age on, on
Saint Patrick's Day, these guys come up.

(46:21):
Yeah. And these guys come up and they
start acting very forceful, likegrabbing her head and start
like, but it it gets it gets really bad.
I mean, grabbing her head and pulling it towards like his
crotch and stuff like that. So like, I'm shitface drunk, my
partner's shitface drunk, friendshitface drunk.

(46:45):
And when he grabs her, my partner at the time, well,
probably still is, but she she'slike all of five foot 2.
She's very tiny, right? I'm 6 foot, she's 5 foot two.
And she just straight up like punches this large jock looking
dude in the face who did that? Which like, if I'm gonna date
somebody, that's that's the spice they bring, you know, and

(47:07):
it's like really bad ass, you know, standing up to their
friend and this all pops up. I leap off the fucking porch and
like, shove the dude. Fight starts, right?
Dude starts talking shit to me and this is in our front yard,
right? Dude starts talking shit to me
and this is where it gets fucking weird.

(47:29):
Throws a punch at me, hits me square in the fucking nose.
I don't feel a God damn thing right?
Like I'm just. Like you're the best.
Kind of. I yes.
And, and anyways, I don't reallygive a fuck at this point after
what this dude did there. There's no honor there.
I square up. I kick this dude in the nuts as
hard as I fucking can. Just immediately right the dude

(47:52):
who tried to force my friend's head over there kick him square
nuts to the point that I see himlift a little off the ground.
That lift. When I kick him, his response,
and I'm not shitting you. And this is where it gets back
to balls. His response is what?
What are you gonna do? I stepped back and I said, bro,

(48:13):
I just kicked you in the nuts. What the fuck is wrong with you?
And he's like, what? What?
He didn't feel a goddamn thing. And like, I'm pretty sure I
ruptured some shit. He was a Munich, so he was after
that dude I like. Yeah, he did not.
Yeah, shit transpired. Anyways.

(48:35):
Everybody is OK except those dudes who I can't imagine he
felt very good in the morning. But to speak in terms of the
power of alcohol for that specific situation, like you
were saying, he might have just got him wasted.
Because after I saw that, I, I just never thought it was
possible to get hit that hard inyour, in your wiggle bits and
did not feel anything. But man, when I squared up and

(48:57):
kicked that dude and I saw his shoulders lift, it's like, whoa.
But yeah, so that's my sidetrack.
This I'm just saying could be accurate.
Could be accurate. I think that it was.
It was all alcohol. Morphine is more expensive.
Alcohol's cheaper. Con man's Drew makes sense and

(49:19):
and and talking about your storyadding to it because I'm not
cutting that out. It's going to be part of this.
I do believe that that guy actually went to the next best
thing and went to a complete other nut doctor back in the
day, but now they're using like pig balls and putting them in
there so. I think he already had pig balls

(49:42):
because that mother fucker was apig, but that makes that.
Yeah, that was a fun fight. It was a terrible pretense, but
yeah, I was fighting 2 dudes whowere shit faced drunk and I'm
just like, well, I'm getting my.This is 1 pro tip to everybody
out there. If you were getting into a
fight, if you go in with the mindset of I'm going to get my
ass fucking whooped when you step into the fight because it

(50:06):
was like 2 jocks. I'm a really skinny dude.
I'm not exactly fit. I went in seeing this pop off
and I'm like, I'm going to get I, I literally my mind, I was
like, I'm waking up in the hospital tomorrow.
Then I started the fight. If you go in with that kind of
insanity, bro, if you go in withthat kind of insanity, you will
fucking win, All right? That is a winner's mentality is

(50:27):
I'm waking up in the hospital tomorrow.
Go go ham, go ham. But do it for the right reasons.
You know, I think when they had the MMA, when they talked about
it, I think Dana White said something about that.
That was his pep talk. Oh, if you go in with that
mentality, you can, you can fight off armies, bro, you don't

(50:49):
give a fuck. So that's a pro tip.
It's coming a little bit late for everybody else on Saint
Patrick's Day, but you know, forthe next one, just remember.
It's still early. Going it is still going.
Go in mad. You're watching.
The live version, yeah. Yeah, you're watching the live
version. Well, after he had went home, it
was an agonizing 2 weeks of waiting for Brinkley, and then

(51:12):
just as Brinkley was about to lose hope that his surgery had
worked, in strode the farmer Stitchworth with a big wide
smile on his face and. Brinkley.
His last name was Stitchworth. Yeah, meant to be.

(51:33):
The family name, right, right, right.
And after he saw that big wide smile on his face, Brinkley knew
right then he had something. And fucked up dude.
And just like, you know, wait till this.
And just like the worst STD you can imagine, word spread around

(51:58):
Milford that this innovative surgery could solve all your
lame duck issues. Another farmer, the Barber, and
more people around town started coming in to get the goat nut
surgery. So everybody was getting this
word spread around town and evenMiss Stitchworth came in asking

(52:23):
for a matching set like her husband of goat ovaries, because
he did not just cater to men, hecatered to women too.
I really hope that the I hope the replacement of ovaries took
more than 15 minutes. Those aren't exactly external.

(52:46):
No, he he, he didn't mention what that next surgery was.
And to be fair, he might not have given it to her, but he did
promote that he did so. I really God this is where the
charlatan part comes in. I hope that he just like cut
into her enough that she felt sore but didn't actually put

(53:07):
anything in. Could have, could have, could
have. I mean, he's a charlatan.
So stuff could have happened that didn't have, you know,
that's that's kind of the way Connor does work.
You know, he could have, he could have sold it off.
But it is proven that he did do the first one on Stitch Worth.
The Farmer Mr. Stitch Worth so. How did they not fall off?

(53:32):
Apparently it was happening a lot because I want to add some
context to this right? So adding why this became so
popular and. So sought after.
We right, we have to peel back the curtain, we have to peel
back the scrotum to look at the the error this was in.

(53:54):
And I made that up as I was saying it.
This was right after World War One, right?
After losing so many men in battle and people had to
repopulate, right? Yep.
A lot of young men were killed, the older generations who didn't

(54:17):
go off to war and probably also weren't shell shocked and have
PTSD up to their eyeballs and down to their low balls had to
do their fair share of populating and for many they
were past the point of having children.
I also made that up and it wasn't in the script.

(54:38):
From their eyeballs to their thigh balls is what I believe he
meant to say. That too.
That too I also. I think we found the one topic
that can actually make me crawl in my skin.
I don't know if you see how red my face is.

(54:58):
Yep. OK, well.
This wasn't the only style of it, and this wasn't the only
animals that were being used. There were many doctors or
quacks at the time that came up with all kinds of experiments
trying to revive the old. Pump trying to get that pump

(55:23):
house working again. Yeah, there were doctors
implanting chimpanzee balls intomen, and they also tried to use.
Yeah. At least that's closer.
Yeah, it is close. I'm just saying genetically, way
closer. You know, that could work.

(55:44):
If somebody told me that that was a cure, even today, I'd be
like, you know what, that might.I can see that, you know, that's
close. But like goats?
What? Yeah, yeah.
No, it's it's true. The guy who did the chimpanzee
balls was named Sergey Veronov. He was a Russian immigrant that
was working in Paris and he was working about 1910 nineteen O 8.

(56:08):
In that time his main interest was obviously elderly men who
wanted his zest for life and he was the one that started
transplanting chimpanzees or baboon testicles into male human
into male human recipients. He actually sliced.

(56:29):
OK, I I'm going to go into it. I'm.
Sorry, No, no, no, keep going, keep going.
No, keep going. Keep going.
His technique was to slice up the animal testicle and insert
the slices into the recipient's testicle.
OK, so he would take like one ball.
Let's put it in his perspective here.
He would take one ball, slice off like a 10th of it, and then

(56:52):
slice open the human sack, put in that 10th of a ball so it
closed and be like voila, Is that is that?
Is that pretty much it, man? Yeah.
And then so and the picking up the balls that you're dropping
down. Alright, you are.
Picking it up, yeah. Our listeners are are are
fucking morbid as hell. They'd love.

(57:13):
We've been told this multiple times that they've specifically
said they've they've talked shitto me when I'm skirted around
certain things and they've talked shit at Joey about like,
hey, you didn't get into enough of the gruesome murder.
You know evisceration details for XYZ episodes.
So like look, y'all asked for it, literally demanded it.

(57:36):
So you're you're getting gruesome descriptions of balls.
You are well the reason you knowand we talk about all of these
like these surgeries and not allof the surgeries that some of
these people. Yeah.
Right. Not all the surgeries and the
ideas some of these people had were bad, right?
Brinkley had a lot of bad ideas,but this guy, Sergey, Sergey

(57:59):
Vironov, actually was the first person to develop the concept of
transplanting cells that produced a hormone in which the
recipient was deficient, which is genius because now that cell
can start like. Yeah.
And one of them was like, that really help with and help now
was the production of insulin inpatients with severe type 1

(58:21):
diabetes. He was the guy that created the
idea behind it. And he was putting pig islets.
I don't know what pig islets are, but I imagine that there's
this cells. I imagine it's the pieces of
cells that he's transplanting. And so he was the one that that
started that. But that wasn't his main
interest when he did that. His main interest was making

(58:44):
money. Yeah, he was making money.
Yeah. Chimpanzee balls into human
balls. So that was his big thing.
I I feel like this question shouldn't even be asked so I'm
going to ask. I'm pleasing where the hell is
the supply of various types of animal balls coming from?

(59:05):
I'm just the animal because at at the same time, we have to
realize there is a a black and blue ball market for for animal
testicles that's being built up around all these practices.
So, and they weren't shipping them on ice, you know, like, was

(59:28):
this, were there train cars thatthere were just the, you know,
the old refrigerated, you know, ice cars at the time that were
just worth $400 million. And it was just like filled with
the chimp balls and like, no wonder we have so many
extinction issues right now. The funny idea is that you think
when the animals were getting their balls cut into that they

(59:50):
were dead. No, I picture them being alive,
I don't think. They were alive.
They were. Alive 100.
Percent and the reason they werealive was because their balls
had to be still pumping. Their cells had to be working to
be able to go into the next person, you know, So I don't
blame. Anything that happened in Planet

(01:00:11):
of the Apes anymore? 100% I I totally I'm on the
eighth side. To go a little deeper into it
and I'm sorry because it it affected me.
No, don't. The whole ball thing didn't
affect me, but that they were experimenting on the chimps
while they were alive and this was a part of the time, which is
really sad. They're experimenting on the
chips just cutting into in theirlife.

(01:00:32):
And the doctor described how hard it was to, to basically
stop to like, they're like, the chimps have such a will to live.
And I was just like, well, fucking obviously.
It's like he was like, I couldn't, I, I tried to tie the
chimps down or whatever animal pig that he was working on at
the time. He was like, wouldn't.

(01:00:53):
Want to tie it down and it just wouldn't let me cut into it and
take out of it's nuts. And I'm like, fucking of course
it wouldn't. Of course this thing doesn't
want to lose something, but partof its body.
And he just seems so shocked at it, like a he seemed like a
Nazi. Doctor has feelings.
Yeah, he seemed like a Nazi doctor and was just cutting into

(01:01:14):
him was like, Oh my God, they had feelings, which, you know,
wasn't. Boys Medical University aren't
going to. The boys at Trump University are
never going to believe this. Exactly.
Animals have feelings. I do want to look up to see if
Trump universe if if this university that he got approved

(01:01:35):
at was like owned by Trump's dadwho was also running a shit ton
of scams at the time. If you want to look into Trump's
dad, Woody Guthrie wrote a greatsong about Trump's father.
I think it's called old Man Trump, if I remember frankly,
but he. Woody Guthrie is in this story.

(01:01:59):
Yeah, yeah, A. Tiny, tiny part, but he's in
the. Store Fuck yeah.
Oh, don't tell me he got his nuts replaced.
No, no, no, no. OK, I would look at him
differently if he did. Now what he got through is the
shit. But yeah, yeah.
Well, after and through all of that, it was truly an age of
experimentation. I mean, I guess you could call

(01:02:21):
it that. Well, let's also not look past
that. We're going into the Jazz Age
and people were looking for a really good time as well.
So priming themselves and getting manhood back was not
unheard of. And it was honestly like they
were all trying to party. You know, they're all trying to

(01:02:42):
party. And if you couldn't, you know,
spring the Jack, you know, I'm just going to make up 1000
different ways to say get horny by the way, so and they're
coming right off the Dome now. This episode is brought to you
by Cialis. Well, now I'm not going to go

(01:03:08):
into how much the book talked about priming your own pump.
No, no, please, to help you do it.
No listeners. Want it?
Don't no the listeners. Want it but I can't because they
fuck. Yes you can.
It scarred in your memory. It was.
Three hours of of three. Chapters fantastic full we're in
education how people. Were priming their pump, but I'm

(01:03:29):
I'm I'm done with that we're going.
To no no teach us how to prime our pump.
We're like our forefathers did like our foreskin fathers did.
Please teach us we're. Springing forwards well in the
mid. I'm going to add one more person
though. In the mid 1910s, right, a
doctor named G Frank Lidston wasactually taking balls from

(01:03:53):
convicts who were about to be hanged in jail and implanting
them in himself. He implanted 3 Respect this.
Three different pairs of testes drink on each side of his body.
Yeah, Oh, wait, at the same time.
He put them like he didn't put them in his balls, right?

(01:04:14):
So he didn't cut open. His no, no, he added.
He put them. In he he put them in like his
ribs near his ribs. So yeah.
And so there is so exposed. It's it's it's so weird.
There is this. Story in line or we're in a
tight train. Oh my God.
Yeah, it there is a story. So they're in the book, they
talk about this story about G Frank Lidsten.

(01:04:39):
And he went to a friend of his and he was like talk another
scientist. And he was like, why did you?
Yeah. And he was like, hey, feel my,
feel my side. And he's like, what are these
like nodules in there? And he's like, they're testes
and he was like there for male invigoration and invigoration.
And he said the. More balls the better.

(01:05:00):
Yeah. That's what you think.
Is this where the phrase you gota lot of balls came from?
Because this is what I'm pickingup right now.
You got a lot of balls, kid. It's like thank you.
And they're just like attached. To it they're all over his face
well he he went up to his friendand the guy was like well why
didn't you just why didn't you try it on the convicts or why
didn't you have OK so let me addthis into it he actually

(01:05:23):
implanted the balls in himself he did the surgery yeah he did
the surgery because he. I'd respect this so much.
I do too. He said he wanted to be the
person to do the surgery and to,like, pioneer it.
He didn't want some other doctorto get the like the craze and
the heyday over him. He was like, I'd do it.
Myself, I just got a lot of balls.

(01:05:44):
Yeah. And he went to the convicts were
about to die. Most of them didn't have, you
know, they're just like, I'm going to be hung like tomorrow,
you know? And so he just went.
Yeah. Want to hang forever?
And took them and was like, OK, I'm going to put them on a body.
But that just shows you what wasgoing on at the time.

(01:06:05):
So Brinkley was doing these things not as being the first of
the time looking for male invigoration.
He was just another like he was another connection.
He was just another side of the part of of the of the whole
sack, you know. I I respect I respect any doctor

(01:06:28):
at any point in time in history who's like I got some
experimental shit and I'm going to do it to myself first and at
any point inside, and that includes now where it's just
like, OK, IA 100% respect and and this goes to show the
legitimacy is that at least he'strying other humans.

(01:06:51):
Yes, yes. At least he was.
With no context, medically, thisat least tracks, you know, like
very quickly. It's like, wait a second, mine
are messing up. Maybe somebody else's aren't,
you know, let's give the old switcheroo or the addition.
Nu, just fun, cute. He was trying balls.

(01:07:16):
He was trying surgically. Tea bagged every portion of his
body. And the way he told his friend
was really funny. He was like, hey, feel my side.
He's like, are those balls? But.
Oh, Dad, they're massive. Yeah, I do.
Well, let's switch it back to Brinkley at this time because

(01:07:36):
he's getting in some really coolstuff.
Brinkley in August of 1918 had so many patients he was able to
open up a 16 room clinic called the Brinkley Institute of Health
in Milford, KS. It housed the Brinkley Jones

(01:07:57):
Hospital, Brinkley Jones Associates, Brinkley Research
labs and Brinkley Training School for nurses.
Damn it. Oh man.
Yeah, it was a true one stop shop of medical practice, though

(01:08:17):
it had more of an overgrown bed and breakfast feel than an
actual sterile hospital feel. And it probably felt more
comfortable to the farmers of Kansas who went there.
And I think that was purposefully done.
You could honestly come there for anything.

(01:08:38):
I love it. Yeah, yeah.
The hospital itself was a boon for Milford as it brought
prosperity to the area as peoplemove there to work and live.
It also brought a new life and vitality into Brinkley as unlike
his personality in the Army, he worked diligently and he was

(01:08:59):
also, unlike normal con men, wasvery generous to the town.
It was pretty crazy. Like he just came to life, you
know, almost like he had a testicle, a goat, you know,
implantation. He was so generous, so much so
that during the Spanish flu outbreak of 1919, he went from

(01:09:23):
farm to farm to help out all of the victims of the flu.
And it was said that of all the thousands of people he treated,
and this is actually a testimonyfrom people that lived around
there, he only lost one person. It's wild.
Yeah, 'cause he came in with that Spanish fly treatment,
that's what he. And if we can look at the

(01:09:47):
overall death of the Spanish Flu, this was nothing if not
miraculous. The flu was so deadly in the
United States that it shortened the life expectancy of people by
12 years. It took over 550,000 lives just
in the US, took over millions inthe world.

(01:10:09):
It was the second biggest plagueof all time, just behind the
Black Plague. Actually did find out there was
it killed 487 out of every 100,000 people. 10,000 I think
it was 100,000 people, which is a lot of people.

(01:10:30):
Damn. Well, it seemed like Brinkley
had put his charlatan ways behind him and become an actual
good doctor. But after the Spanish Flu
epidemic, he got back to his new, or should I say goatly
ways. The newspapers were starting to
take notice of his new form of cure all for lameness.

(01:10:55):
And by lameness again, I mean Ed, ever the charlatan and flim
flim man he named his newborn son with Minerva Billy.
No, no, you're fucking with. You're lying.
You are lying. I need.
Citations. Please put citations on the God

(01:11:17):
damn screen. This is I know.
Right now, but I will put them in the in the Oh my God, no.
And the reason we also know thisis because there is a picture in
newspapers with his son. And the quotation is, is John
Brinkley with son Billy Brinkley.

(01:11:41):
Oh my God. He his son to promote the
surgery. Shit.
I like the goat he was. I, I, I respect anybody who
commits to the bit. And that's just, that's like a
hard and fast rule. That's a hard and fast rule that

(01:12:05):
I've got. And I, I respect this commitment
to the bit at the end of the day, like it's man.
I mean, Ronald True named his son Ronald F True and I, you
know, and that's a commitment tothe bit, but he was also insane.
This guy is sane, doing insane things, and there's a

(01:12:26):
difference. Oh my God.
And I want to say it wasn't justmen, like I said earlier, that
were coming into his clinic either.
Women were flocking in to meet him and have goat ovaries
implanted, he claimed. He claimed that the goat ovaries
would enhance fertility, get ridof wrinkles and of course it was

(01:12:53):
a a bust enhancer. Yeah, we all know how books me
those goats can be. I I've never looked at a goat
and been like, damn, look at them ghost idiot, those ghost
iddies. Look at them goat iddies like
I've never I've never thought that in my life.

(01:13:14):
Like goats, they love to well, let's just say them and rabbits
have a lot in common. You know, they they'd love to do
that. I believe that because I used to
get bullied by Billy goats back in the day.
That's a whole another story. But I've told you, Joey, about

(01:13:34):
me getting the shit knocked out of me by my neighbors goats
every fucking year. Yeah, goats are assholes.
Not a fan. But I've never looked at a
female goat and it's been like God damn it, like that's it's
not a thing. But I mean, hey, that Billy
buxom. All right, you know virility.

(01:13:57):
Well, now he claimed, and I wantto say this is this is smart.
He claimed that the surgery worked 95% of the time.
Other folks are always in the five.
Yep, and he also claimed throughthe past tests that other
doctors had done that the GOAT testes would also cure big ones,

(01:14:20):
mental handicaps and other disabilities.
He was going on the like he he went OK now no longer just
virility because other doctors overseas that you know, not
mention names, but like other doctors overseas had done tests
and we're trying to cure trying to cure mental handicaps from
people. There was one where a guy said

(01:14:42):
he implanted goat testes in in aboy and it was really weird
saying it like that, but implanted ghost testes in a boy
who was very who had very big mental handicap.
And apparently three days afterwards is I can say this in
big quotations because this is the claim.
Three days afterwards, the boy like basically came back to his

(01:15:06):
meant his handicaps were gone, if I can say it in that way, and
he was without because they saidhe was drooling.
And I don't know if this was just kind of like a stereotype
for him, but I think it was justa claim that they said that it
cured these just to get people anywhere and get more money
coming in. We became neuronormative.

(01:15:28):
Yes, yes, yes. Well, other doctors around this
time claimed that it cured cancer, but, OK, Brinkley didn't
go that far. He didn't want to.
He didn't really want to get into that racket because.
Yeah. Whoa.
Yeah, he was just like, I'm happy.
I'm happy where I am, you know? Well, Brinkley was so popular

(01:15:51):
that he hired a shuttle driver to pick up all his patients from
the train station. His shuttle driver was.
Yeah. You're just going to, you're
just going to, you're just goingto glaze over that part of your
first name of the driver. Yeah, I'm going to give you the
name of the. Driver, I swear to God if it's

(01:16:13):
Luigi. No, no, no, his business was
going so good and like, think about this small town, right, So
small town, there's probably nota lot of ways and I don't think
a lot of these people had cars at this time because and you're
you're going into town, you're not driving a car, you're taking
a train to get long distances. The the car, the first car was

(01:16:36):
made in 19 O 3 Henry Ford, you know that whole thing.
And so cars, this is 19. I think this is 19/18/19.
Yeah, 1918 cars are still not that popular, right?
So Brinkley did own a car though.
He owned a 1914 Ford. That was one of the things I
learned about him. But they had a Shell driver so

(01:16:57):
they could get people from the train station to his office like
quickly as possible and then getthem back out.
Because a lot of these people are workers, they're farmers.
They had to get back to their farm, you know, So he's like, if
I can get them in and out, I canalso charge more because I'm
charged. I got a shuttle driver, you
know, and it gives him ease of access it.

(01:17:18):
Just speaks so much to the volume that you have a literal
fucking shuttle. Like and it the the early 1900s,
you have a shuttle service. This is insane.
Like I just even today, if a chiropractor had their own

(01:17:41):
shuttle service, I'd be suspicious.
Yep, right. Like if I saw that where it's
like, yeah, social service, we'll go around town, we'll pick
up. Like how many people are you
servicing if you need a fucking shuttle service?
Yeah, dear, McDonald's doesn't have a shuttle service.

(01:18:01):
Think think of it like this, though he his ingenuity cannot
be this is genius questions. Yeah, it cannot be questions.
And how quick groundbreaking he he was, he was doing these
things. And we'll find out in Episode 2,
Episode 3, just how just how ingenious this guy was, whether
he was this is. The Uber of balls.

(01:18:25):
Yeah, this is fascinating. Wow.
Well, this is like lift, but like lift up, you know what I'm
saying? Yeah, we can go all day with
these funds. I love nice.
One that girth rebirth. You know what I'm saying?
Like I'm here for this. Well, his shuttle driver was a
rather big fellow named Happy Harry, and he tip his hat to you

(01:18:48):
once you got off the train. Of course that was his name.
No, I can we get shirts made to say hello?
My name is happy here. Yes, we can.
Oh, my God. All right, we're gonna get that
up on the merch store. We're gonna get that up on the

(01:19:10):
merch store ASAP. Hit us up if you want one.
Well, his business was going gangbusters, right, because he
was doing so much work. Once his patients were dropped
off at the hospital, right, theywere greeted by a small looking
guy with rubber rimmed glasses and chin whiskers that resemble

(01:19:32):
the goat. He he this was Brinkley.
This was Brinkley. He went all in on it.
Yeah, he did that. Too.
Yep, I love this guy so much andyou'll see he he sticks.
With stuff, Yeah. And this is what people would
say, But, you know, and that's what he looked like at the time.

(01:19:53):
But later on in life, he would grow.
He eventually grew the normal Dr. E Van Dyke facial hair that
pretty much everyone else at thetime had.
You know, he had. It was a rite of passage to
becoming a. In quotations, Dr. Yeah, he was
also noted. As being really good at twirling
A6 gun like a cowboy star and Patience said that he would

(01:20:15):
actually do it during their visits with him.
So he's just literally in there with a gun twirling it around
while he's talking. You know, trying to shoot
faster. I can help.
Pee, pee, pee. Yeah.
I'll help you not shoot fast butwell and from and from most of
the people around town. He was genuinely liked, unlike

(01:20:39):
most con artists. He did a lot for Milford right?
He paved the downtown Rd. He added a bank to the town and
he did so much more just for thetown.
So it was that was just. Overlooked he he learned one of
the the quintessential. This is when you you know a con

(01:21:00):
person has graduated when they learn this quintessential
lesson, which is you don't burn your hometown, you burn everyone
outside of the hometown. That creates an, an irresistible
like that creates a fortress of support, right?
Like the best way to do it. If you're a con artist, just

(01:21:22):
like we gave you advice earlier about how to commit crimes and
you know, cross, cross state lines and, and boundaries.
This is what you do as a con artist.
You, you strengthen and you fortify your, your legitimacy in
a desperate town. Bro you're bulletproof because
just like that small time that small town cop you know will

(01:21:42):
chase your ass down, they'll also fucking protect you.
Yep. If you set shit up right, this,
this guy's good. This guy's fucking good.
I, I can see how the pieces are coming together to, to go where
he's about to go. This, this is tracking.
This is tracking right? Well, and it's, that's not all
he did cuz he, he was very ingenuitive, I guess is the word

(01:22:04):
to say. And he just thought about
everything outside the box. So one of the things that didn't
work out, he bought a bear because he wanted to start a
zoo. He just randomly one day he was
like, let's start a zoo. They call these nutless animals.
I might as well do something with them.
What was really sad though is atnight the bears bellowing kept

(01:22:26):
him awake so he just shot the bear and just gave up his dream
of owning a zoo. He was like, that's not for me.
But I will say at least he knew it was not for him before he got
like 40 other animals and then had to, you know, trank them
all. It was really sad, the poor.
Bear, this is fucking crazy. Yeah, he even tried to name the

(01:22:48):
church after himself, he said inquotations.
This is him. Christ did not build the Milford
Church, so it shall not bear Christ's name.
It shall be called Brinkley Methodist Church.
I respect this, I, they. Did not do that.

(01:23:11):
The town did not give him that. They did, however.
They did, however, give him a plaque instead, honoring God,
Jesus and John Brinkley. So he kind of won.
He he got a plaque honoring him,part of the.
Other. He got up.
He got up there in the Holy Trinity.
I was. I was going to say the Holy
Trinity of yeah of goats for Christmas in 1918.

(01:23:39):
This is again, like just showinghow much he did kind of care for
the town. He and Minnie got up on the top
of their building, their physician's office, and we're
throwing off oven ready turkeys,geese and ducks to their
neighbors. OK.
There's. Also, people got killed in this
incident. I don't.

(01:23:59):
I don't. I got 35 LB frozen Turkey just
landing on somebody from three stories.
I imagine there were smaller turkeys at the time.
They weren't 35 lbs. They're probably the small ones
that are, you know, normal rangewithout antibiotics and a bunch
of steroids. Surprised they didn't throw goat
like I'm just like, do you know,like you know, they had like a a

(01:24:23):
euro shops like amount. No, but I'm just saying they had
a euro shops amount of like lamband goat like at the fucking
ready. Do you know how many goats
probably died from those procedures, right?
90% of them, probably. It could have been eaten goat,

(01:24:44):
honestly. He could and I love go.
That's why I save so much money.Oh.
My mouth's blottering, yeah. He was also pretty punny and
when he went in, he went all in,for example.
He went hard. Yeah, the room the patients
would change in was called the herd room.

(01:25:05):
Yes. Like genius.
Now, he wasn't just a good-natured man in all of this
as well as he was making a ton of money, so he could easily
afford to give some of it out. And I really honestly respect
that he didn't just like you said, he didn't just take as a

(01:25:25):
con artist did. He built and he built this town.
He literally built this town. Everybody, almost everybody that
wasn't a normal farmer was working for him, whether it was
in shuttle driving, whether it was in the, the stuff
surrounding the bank that he helped build, you know, the, all
the parishioning stuff that he was doing, he was bringing in

(01:25:45):
all this stuff. People were coming to stay
there. And so Milford, Kansas was
built. And I don't have any qualms
about saying this Milford, Kansas was built by John
Brinkley. And whether or not you think of
what he was doing as a good thing, which it, it really
wasn't the stuff that he was doing and, and a lot of CEOs can

(01:26:07):
fucking learn from this. What he was doing was building
and giving away money that he did not need.
I respect this I but like this goes to the true and honest scam
artist right? If you are a legit like the
university, the the PhD level graduate of scamming knows you

(01:26:32):
do not burn those around you. You take care of your
neighborhood and you become a philanthropist right like Al
Capone. Al Capone knew this perfectly.
This is why he's still a fuckinglegend is because he took care
of the neighborhood, the community, and the city around

(01:26:52):
him and he set up a multiple bulletproof vests to protect
him. It took so long and it was so
much effort to even try to get to him.
They had to come to him through very obscure means at the time
to even figure out a way to get to his ass.
Like you really got to take careof those folks around you.
So as you build your scam empire, which we hope all of our

(01:27:16):
BCR listeners do someday, because we, we just, we wish the
best and most nefarious, the most nefarious success to you.
Take care of your community, number one.
And if you're legitimate, go fuck off.
But for everyone else? Yeah.
Always. What's funny is that in the

(01:27:36):
future he does actually get a bulletproof vest, as he says,
just like Al Capone. No joke, no fucking joke.
So all this stuff you're just bringing into it is just, he's
just taken in so. I'm thinking I'm picking it up.
Surrounds it, Yep. Yeah.
Well, Gil, you asked earlier because of the shuttle, how many

(01:27:58):
operations a month, you know, operations that he was doing,
right. So think of a normal surgeon,
right? I would say maybe a normal
surgeon probably does maybe one surgery, 3 surgeries a week,
right? Maybe that's on the high end.

(01:28:19):
Probably. I imagine more than that in a
sense. Surgeons spread into us at
contact at Black Cat dot report.How many surgeries do you do a
week and how many times does it involve goat balls?
Hopefully none. Well, from 1918 to 1921, as a

(01:28:45):
surgeon, he was averaging 50 operations a month.
Oh yeah, it's the shuttle comingin, right.
So it was $750 a piece, which was about half $1,000,000 a year

(01:29:08):
in 1920s currency, right? To put that in perspective, each
surgery in today's money would cost $10,600.
And we can say to ourselves, it's actually probably not that
much money but for a surgery, right, If we talk about
healthcare in this country rightnow, but he was making $28

(01:29:33):
million a year in goat testicle surgery in today's money.
That's the comparison. Damn.
Yeah. God damn.
Yes. Well.
I love it. In the summer of 1921, he

(01:29:55):
started touring the United States, going through New York,
Philadelphia, most of the major cities in the East Coast,
exclaiming about other experimental surgeries he
claimed he was doing. Again, Flim flim man, claiming
all that kind of stuff, right? Kind of keep the roadshow going.

(01:30:16):
Got to keep it going. He's a snake oil salesman.
He grew up in that. He has to go on a rail.
He has to keep his name. Yeah.
You know, And at this time, there wasn't like a you.
There was no you couldn't go on TV and just be like, come visit
me, you know, There was no TV. You didn't promote your scam.
Wow, you know. You.
Yes. Yeah, well, he claimed that he

(01:30:38):
had transplanted eyes from one species of animal to another.
This quote shows you just where Brinkley's mind was at this
moment. I cannot cure the blind, but six
months from now I will be able to.

(01:30:59):
Damn. This dude was, he was feeling
himself, right? That's what I'd like to say.
He was in his. Era I'm going to throw this out
there. If I could get an eye, just one
eye, right, I'm not going to getboth.
I get one eye replaced with any animal eye and it would work.

(01:31:23):
Mantis shrimp, 100% a mantis without without a doubt mantis.
Mantis shrimp can see the broadest light spectrum out of
any animal species. They can see like infrared,
ultra red, communist red. They can see all the Reds, but
they could see like every fucking thing.

(01:31:45):
Like they have this like if you look at the at the part of the
spectrum a human can see and then you look at that much whole
spectrum. I meant it's like, I don't know,
56710 times as much as everything.
A mantis shrimp are fucking wild.
But yeah, I would totally get a mantis shrimp by.

(01:32:05):
Can I ask you, though, how horrifying that would be?
Because if you have one eye all the time, seeing all of yeah,
you see one eye seeing all of that crazy stuff, and then your
other eyes just seeing like you normally see.
And if you keep them both open, would that like not unlock some
crazy? Well, Vision, here's an anime.

(01:32:26):
There's an anime I never I don'tthink I ever saw the title of it
in English. Anyways, I just got done
finishing this anime where there's a scene, there's an
episode where the main character, he runs into this
like basically this really ridiculous, like demon Lord

(01:32:46):
who's like this bratty little girl and nobody thinks that
she's an actual demon Lord because she's like piss poor,
broke and just like eccentric asfuck.
And she's like, oh, thank you somuch for feeding me.
And she like grabs his face and rips out his eye and shoves
another eyeball into it. But what she did was she gave

(01:33:08):
him, she has like I think it waslike 12 different kinds of eyes
who give her different powers, powers she could just flip
through different eyes for different scenarios.
And the one demonized that that the protagonist got allowed him
to see about like 3 or 4 or 5 seconds like into the future
constantly. Interesting.

(01:33:29):
And so he like start, well, for like a combat world, pretty
fucking useful, you know, where it's like somebody comes up and
then they like come in on the left, but then they fake to the
right and then they swipe down on you.
And he was able to see it like 1/2 a second ahead of time and
like respond to it and shit it, it got really dope.
So I think that's where my, that's where my, my current eye

(01:33:51):
situation's at with my inspiration, my aspiration, if
you want. That's, that's about where I'm
at with things. So.
That makes sense. Remember the name of that anime?
It was really good though. Tell us.
Also, an e-mail really quick, really quick, if anybody else is
completely hissed about the season finale of Solo Levelling.

(01:34:17):
Look, I need people to commiserate with.
I seriously need people. I need human beings in my life
to commiserate with. Solo Levelling is one of the
highest rated animes of all time.
This, this series that's just coming out, that the season
finale just happened. I'm so pissed.
I'm so pissed right now. And I need, we need a support

(01:34:39):
group. So please reach out to us.
I need your help. Yeah.
Well, Gil, it looks like you will be commiserating solo for
that quote. He actually only mentioned that
at a New York event once, and then he never mentioned it
again, basically saying like, I can cure everything within six

(01:34:59):
months. I can cure, you know, I
blindness within six months. And again, like the charlatan he
was in most ways, there was no actual evidence of any surgery
that had that experiment with. So he had no evidence to back
that up. And just like, you know, snake
oil salesman, he was trying to throw this out to get people to

(01:35:21):
come to him. Here's a little thing, here's a
little thing, you, you all come eventually, but I'll still sell
you on the go. Technical surgery.
Well, let's Fast forward a little bit to February of 1922,
just a little bit. His business was booming and he
was rich as we say 500, about $500,000 a year, 28 million in

(01:35:45):
this time period. Now so in came the invitations
to build hospitals in different and much grander locations.
Los Angeles was calling. A newspaper editor had called up
Brinkley and asked him to come to LA and implant goat testes

(01:36:06):
into one of his Co workers. I wonder if you guys are drunk
by now. But how many times I've said
balls, testes, testicles, anything like that?
I hope so. You can always keep playing it
anyways. Well, the editor of the
newspaper said that if it worked, he would make Brinkley
the most famous doctor in the world.
Well damn, Brinkley telling himself he was already pretty

(01:36:29):
well known doctor at the time, but who could withstand the
calling of Los Angeles? So he obliged and he made his
way out to LA to claim his fame.On March 23rd of 1922.
He operated on the editor and then claimed success.

(01:36:52):
The editor, in his words, was more virulent and vibrant than
ever. So word started spreading around
Tinseltown, and before he knew it, he was operating on powerful
judges and Hollywood screen stars.
Hell yeah, he had made yeah. And in just a short time, he had

(01:37:19):
already cleared $400,000. Because that's what it was
about. Just Christ, so many gold balls.
The LA papers claimed him the next big doctor, second only to
Doctor Phil. That makes sense.

(01:37:40):
That track that makes. Sense.
Yeah, yeah. His star had risen and LA wanted
to keep him around. The Los Angeles Chamber of
Commerce offered to build Brinkley a $100,000 hospital,
which is a lot of money at the time to build the hospital.
Yeah, Yeah. Whoa.
Mm. Hmm.
So Brinkley obviously took his time to find a location.

(01:38:07):
He then decided on the Hidalgo Hotel in Ensenada because it
would suit his needs. He wanted to create a 36 room
hospital for all kinds of experimental procedures.
The place was perfect because oflocation and to give it an air

(01:38:27):
of, shall I say, expert knowledge.
He said he chose that specific location because the climate was
perfect for goat implantation. It had a steady temperature of
around 70°, which was most suitable for ball surgery.

(01:38:51):
Jesus Christ, Yeah. According to my studies,
according to my. Studies which you know, he done
a shit ton of surgery. So, you know, all was going well
for Brinkley at the time. He had it all fame.
He had a wife who loved him and helped him and she actually
helped him in all his work. She worked in the surgeries too.

(01:39:12):
She got a diploma as well, like I said earlier, from the the
diploma mill, the Eclectic University.
From Trump University, yeah. She also ran it while he was
gone too. So she they had to keep it, you
know, keep the family going. He had a town that loved him so
important he was even branching off into other places like.

(01:39:33):
LA getting. Ready to build a hospital in
Tinseltown and become not just famous, but infamous?
But things were about to get rocky for the goat ball sack
doctor of Milford, Kansas. And that's where we'll pick up
next week for John Brinkley, Part D.

(01:39:57):
We want to thank you guys for listening to this.
Episode on John Brinkley, the goat ball doctor.
Ball goat doctor. I don't know.
We can say anyway about right. Yeah.
And especially thank you to our Patreon memories for following
us. And if you haven't noticed, we

(01:40:18):
are releasing episodes as video episodes now and we hope you're
enjoying them. Please let us know if you would
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(01:40:39):
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So again, let us know if you like it and if you want more,
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of the reason why is you get to see data in Salem.

(01:41:01):
In this case right now you couldsee data popping up on my lap
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(01:41:22):
But yeah, we, we hope that y'allare like in this transition.
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(01:41:48):
either one of us or both of us will be in the chat during the
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(01:42:32):
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(01:42:53):
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(01:43:13):
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124 | Pt1 | Dr John Brinkley : The Quackiest Quack in Medical History

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}124 | Pt1 | Dr John Brinkley : The Quackiest Quack in Medical History