Finishing up cannibal month strong, we're bringing you a very modern day story of horror. One that begs the question, "aren't we all kinda cannibals when you stop and think about it???"
The horrifying true tale of, Anabel Gómez López, the tamale maker of death!!!!
But that's not all, oh no, this week we are so excited to be joined by the one and only Jonathan Perez Galvan. Representative of Latinos Against Spooky Shit (#LatinosAgainstSpookyShit).
If you like our show, you will LOVE his work! So please, show some self love and give him a follow! https://beacons.ai/latinosagainstspookyshit you'll be so glad you did!
SUBSCRIBE!
Don’t forget to subscribe so you can catch future shows.
PLEASE RATE & REVIEW: <3
Especially if you are on Spotify or Apple Podcasts
We’re Just getting started, and it means a lot!
You can Subscribe to our Podcast and donate how much you feel you can a month to help us get our sound and Equipment top notch!
https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/black-cat-report/support
LINKS:
Find, Follow & Subscribe Here: https://bcr.link/s
Our Website: https://blackcat.report/
Find and Follow us on Social Here: https://bcr.link/social
Submit Show Ideas Here: https://bcr.link/submit
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:04):
For a fourth and final episode of Cannibal Month, we'd like to
present to you a little snack. A dessert if you will, one that
will undoubtedly haunt your dreams just as much as it will
your daily diet. Now, as someone who loves to dig
in and research the dark, diabolical and disturbing, I
must admit upfront there is not a whole lot of information
(00:25):
currently available about today's topic.
But even with that said, I assure you the aftertaste will
last much longer than the meal. Hello everyone, and welcome to
episode 56 of The Black Cat Report.
My name is Gil and I'll be your waiter this evening.
Now if you follow me this way, your friends Joey and Bets Vega
(00:46):
are already seated. Hola.
Hey, and it was just about to tell them that we have a very
special guest chef joining us tonight.
The social media badass we all love and follow, awesome human
being and international representative of #Latinos
Against Spooky Shit. Jonathan Perez Galvan.
(01:07):
Jonathan, so much for joining us.
How the hell are you doing tonight?
I'm doing good. What an intro.
My God, I'm hungry and terrified.
I can't wait to give you some more.
Can't wait to give you some more.
Are you ready to be mild to severely traumatized?
(01:28):
You mean growing up in a Hispanic household?
Yeah, I'm for it, dude. Born for it.
Let's go. Let's go.
God, yes. All right.
Our story takes place in the midto late 2000, tens on the
bustling platforms of Indios Verde subway station in Mexico
(01:50):
City. Located just blocks away from
universities, residential neighborhoods, city parks, and
thriving businesses, the subway station is crawling at all hours
with commuters as they come and go, consumed by the constant
circus of life's demanding schedules.
Has anyone here ever spent time in this area?
Ever been to Indios Verde subwaystation in Mexico City?
(02:14):
Nope. I have not.
No one is owning. That based on how this is
starting, I don't want. To yeah, Why would I?
That's good. That's very good.
I was going to stop the episode right now and get you on better
help or something if you happen.I'm Okay, Thanks.
(02:37):
Well, Needless to say, the patrons waiting for transfers
and racing to obligations have always welcomed a quick snack,
small meal to take the distance of their deadlines to make it a
lot shorter. Sorry, rephrase that.
Well, Needless to say, the patrons waiting for transfers
and racing to obligations have always welcomed a quick snack, a
(02:59):
small meal to make the distance to their destinations a lot
shorter. So with Mexico's long cherished
history of St. vendors, it comesas no surprise local
entrepreneurs, young and old, found willing customers in the
thousands craving any and all oftheir delicious homemade goods,
(03:21):
from tacos and enchiladas to paletas to a Lotte, churros
empanadas. And my favorite with the history
dating back thousands of years. Tamales.
Dude, pronunciation on point. Good for you.
Thank. You.
He's been practicing. You're not going.
Just in the mirror, nonstop. On my list.
On my list, on my list. Now I know this one.
(03:44):
Trust me, but but but no. But honestly, God bless
dabalitas for spending hours spreading masa on corn husks
before spooning in the meat, rolling them up and steaming
them to perfection. I don't know about you, but I
always need to grab at least twodozen, so I have 12 for my
family when I get home. And by family I mean my cats.
(04:07):
And when I say for them I mean myself.
That's just me. That's just me.
Yes, And Betsy Bay when she comes over, which I'm sorry, we
only have two left. Now, it's important to note
here, and I really, really want to make a point of this.
Street vendors represent an honest, necessary profession.
(04:28):
Love the world over by billions of people, some craving a Taste
of Home, others just looking to try something new, but all
experiencing centuries of closely held family recipes that
keep culture alive every time someone takes a bite.
I really want to emphasize that,and this is by no means an
exaggeration, because what you might not know is that
(04:52):
archaeologists have used hieroglyphics to trace the
tamales as far back as 5000 to 8000 BC.
Tamales have literally been around for seven to 10,000
years. That means their history goes
back two to three times farther than the construction of the
(05:12):
Egyptian pyramids. Which, if you've ever take the
time to actually make tamales athome, you know is more difficult
than building a pyramid hashtag ancient alien Tamalera.
It makes sense cuz it takes forever to make.
So yeah. Mmhmm.
(05:34):
I just thought that was fucking fascinating.
That's. Interesting.
It is, Yeah. I had no hieroglyphics like that
shit in stone, and it probably took less time to make the
hieroglyphic than the fucking tamales.
Right. Yeah, the.
Tamales we're eating right now are actually 5000 years old.
They're actually men for that. Actually, one of us has an
(05:56):
abuela that is about 5000 years old that was there when we made
the hieroglyphics. Oh.
My God, yes. My Father, yes.
Yes. He's been alive for that long.
It's funny you should say that, because I did come across when I
was kind of digging in a little bit into the history of tamales,
(06:16):
right? But there's an Aztec legend that
claims the 1st 20 Tamales were made by the grandmother of a God
whose name I can't pronounce from.
The name of her grandchild, whose name my Ohio raised ass
also cannot pronounce. What is it?
(06:36):
I have my values. Ever.
Please try. Please try.
Oh fucking shit. God damn it.
What did I put her in? Italics below.
No fucking shit. That's a weird name.
Pronounced that pretty well, Yeah, sits the middle.
The grandmother of the ancient God Chico Mehe Cheeto.
I tried. I tried.
(06:57):
Listen, I can't, I can't see howit's spelled.
So I'm gonna, I'm gonna say you're right.
I can't say otherwise. Yeah, yeah.
Wait, wait. Send it to me.
I wanna read it. I'm curious.
I'm not doing that right now, Beth.
Today I'm not. Why don't?
You do it earlier because I'm gonna have to type this out and
I don't know how to add the accents on my keyboard.
(07:17):
That's fair. I'll give him that one.
I still don't know that nobody needs, nobody needs to hear me
being like. And wait, is that a skit?
No. Control FF9 and that of that. 9
fingers to be able to do it properly.
On one hand, yes. Well, with all that said, as
(07:38):
we'll soon discover, some traditions should change, as is
the case with Annabel Gomez Lopez, aka La Tamalera de la
Muerte. Wow, Just saying, after a few
thousand years, mix it up. That's a Lucidor name, if I've
ever heard it right. Not anymore.
(08:05):
Maybe a punk band, but. Yeah, right.
Well, born in 1974, not much is actually known about the early
years of Annabelle Gomez Lopez, although it can be assumed that
by the time her career began as a Tamalera, a person who makes
and sells tamales, life had not offered her much academic and
(08:29):
financial privilege. What is known, however, is that
Annabella was an unbelievably hard worker with an incredible
talent as a chef and a knack forbeing a savvy marketer.
She was always there first thingin the morning, often before
dawn, selling her tamales by thedozen to the busy locals as they
(08:49):
rushed to catch their train at the Indios Verde subway station,
impossible to miss. The unique way she shaped and
wrapped her tamales had the promotional effect of seeing
people walk by with a Starbucks cup with.
A plump Oval with a Starbucks cup.
So like think about it. Like you're at a mall.
(09:11):
This was 2020, 1520. This was recent.
This is recent. No, this is really, like I said
at the beginning, late Twenty 10s?
No, no, no. This is why I asked if anybody's
been there recently. Because this was like 5-6 years
ago. Shit, yeah, wow.
(09:32):
Playing that in this, Yeah, right.
Putting that in perspective, oh I fuck, I said.
Yeah, twenty 10s was like the first.
I just. Figured that then like the 20s
like. 19 No, no, no. I heard twenty 10s, but I
figured, like, that's when the story first like the the urban
legend of this. No, this is a legitimate 2010.
Fuck me. OK, cool.
(09:52):
Wow. Yeah, no.
If you if you're old enough to listen to this episode, you
might have been there. Like there is a good chance you
might have been there so. Yeah, yeah, I right.
Starbucks. I was like, wait, yeah, yeah,
no, but. But I But I point that out.
(10:13):
I point that out because becauseif you think about if you're at,
if you're at a hospital, if you're at a mall, and if you're
in some city, wherever the hell you're at, you recognize the
Starbucks cup from far away frompeople walking with the
Starbucks. Like it has that.
Unfortunately, yes. Yeah.
It has that distinctive vibe to it.
Like you're like, oh, there's a Starbucks nearby, you know,
(10:33):
automatically. Right.
And this is where her savvy marketing came in, which
honestly, if she hadn't have ruined it.
You know, kind of like the the 1/4 central mustache, that
somebody we won't name Charlie Chaplin ruined, but you're.
So stylish too. It was so genius.
(10:53):
And for an ANSI fascist to get labeled like that anyways.
But so, so I did. I want to point this out.
This was the as somebody who grew up eating tamales, loves
tamales. What she did was fucking genius,
right? So to describe him a little bit,
they were plump, they were Oval,and they had bright green corn
(11:14):
husks that you could peel back and hold while you traveled
around on your morning routine. Oh, like, so It wasn't just like
a peel from the side, Peel from the side, eat, get it all over
your hands, kind of thing. Like, these were folks that were
on their way to work. Yeah, she, like, had it like a
wrap. Like like.
It's like a Japanese rice ball, yeah.
(11:34):
Yeah, yeah. Fucking brilliant.
This is fucking. Brilliant, right?
Why, But most of all, they were cheap and delicious.
Well, without fail, the smell, appearance and smile on the
holder's face would lead to others asking where they got
them. And so business for Annabelle
(11:55):
quickly became booming, obviously.
I mean, fucking killing it with marketing, Killing it with the
parents, Killing it with Price, killing it with just straight up
functionality while you're on your way to work, right?
That's huge. Gotta love it.
Little too much emphasis on the killing it.
I don't like where this is going.
I don't wanna spoil it, but. The juxtaposition here well.
(12:22):
Yeah, it sounds too good to be true.
Well, where it is that on average, Annabelle would sell
over 100 tamales a day in just two hours.
Now I've done the math here and it comes out to about .8 tamales
a minute, like just boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.
(12:46):
Like she is just they are flyingout of the, I'm assuming a
cooler because that's the only place I've ever seen somebody
just selling tamales. You know like yeah, I hope yeah,
which is the best. Yeah, I hope so.
Honestly though with the two hour sale time, like she don't
even need a cooler, but she's. But that's it.
So she's she's she's crushing it.
(13:07):
She's crushing it well, for at least two years.
Life as a Tamalera for AnnabelleGomez, Lopez was going great.
Honestly, she had quite the routine down, always selling out
of tamales within hours of stepping foot onto her favorite
street corner, then spending therest of the day hitting up
(13:29):
markets for ingredients around town before finally going home
and cooking up a fresh batch forthe next day.
Solid. She's a She's a local chef.
Local ingredients selling. Oops, we lost bets.
A Bay. Yeah, she'll pop back.
Yeah, God damn it. You can't even blame Mexico
(13:53):
either. She has bad Wi-Fi in Asheville,
NC She's like, well. It's fucking North Carolina,
though. They barely got Internet.
They barely got electricity. Yeah, we don't.
It's true. It's true.
The TVA gave us some. There you are.
These are just cut up glow sticks back here, man.
These are fucking lights. How much money I spend at the
(14:13):
dollar? On glow sticks alone.
Yeah, glow sticks, bro. I've got fingernail cancer over
here. Don't stare at his shirt too
long, either. Dude, I'm not gonna lie to you.
That shit fucked me up when I first popped into the screen.
I was like, oh, is something wrong with the screen?
And then I looked at it longer, but he looked fine, but the
(14:35):
shirt didn't. And I was like, Oh no, I'm just
having a fucking stroke right now.
It. Looks like that in real life
too. No, I can't When he wears it
too. It's freaky, I.
Sorry, I I directed your attention to it.
No, no, I'm glad you didn't say it the other way around.
If like dude, I love that shirt.But when I saw your face for the
first time, it was. I can start the shirt all day
(14:56):
but that face, dude. Fuck.
Multi dimensional. All right, all right.
We are getting through the script.
We're moving very fast, by the way.
This is a very, very short story.
But it's like I said, it's a dessert, you know, like.
So everybody hop in. Beef it up if you want.
(15:16):
Where was I? Okay.
Honestly, she had quite the routine down, always selling out
of tamales within hours of stepping foot onto her favorite
street corner, then spending therest of the day hitting up
markets for ingredients around town, before finally going home
and cooking up a fresh batch forthe next day.
(15:37):
What a life with local ingredients.
I know the I mean it's it's fucking hard ass work.
But like the fact that she had that salad routine and she had
that solid income from being like a street vendor, like
that's. And only in two hours, working
and calling it a day. Two hours.
But she did go home and make hundreds of tamales, so like she
worked. You know, she's got her kids and
(15:59):
everybody else working on that. With her, though, there's no way
that was on. Her own.
The whole family's working. Yeah.
Yeah, definitely not. Woman actually make tamales.
It's always a grandma. It's true.
It's somebody on Social Security, right?
It's an older, it's an older person.
Or is somebody in preschool. Those are the only two options.
(16:21):
There's an in between to Mom. Yeah, there's no in between.
It's like that kid. Remember the kid we saw on the
beach that had like a huge Instagram following?
I know he was famous. He was selling like empanadas, I
think. Yeah, I forgot what it was.
Yeah, but he spoke in French. It was so good.
Or just a full polyglob language.
(16:43):
Everything and so. Yeah, he's.
Like, yeah, this was in was thisin Acapulco, Puerto Vallarta, I
remember. That sounds like some Puerto
Vallarta shit, I think. I'm not gonna lie, but that
sounds like something from Puerto Vallarta.
That's where he was. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it probably
was, Yeah. It was so good too.
And. Like, disrespect, Acapulco, but
you know, we know who you are. Yes, they're the West Virginia
(17:09):
of Mexico. It's OK.
Yeah, baby. Oh.
Oh my God, yeah. Did I land that shot?
I just took a shot. I don't know if it's true.
Yeah, it's like they're Myrtle Beach getting some headed on
Myrtle Beach, yeah. It's the Myrtle Beach.
Yeah, it's Myrtle Beach. OK.
It's her at Landing Cuz. Again, I'm from Ohio.
(17:29):
I'm gonna say some fucked up shit.
OK? I'm sorry.
Yeah. Yeah, Cuz, but the way it does,
more like Charleston, that area.Yeah.
But the way it does the Disneyland for certain
demographic of people to go downto Mexico.
Thank you for respecting our listenership.
I appreciate that, Jonath. Very professional.
(17:54):
Yeah, no, I know where I'm at. I've navigated this minefield,
Tell us where to go, because we still haven't.
All right. But but yeah, so so you know
she's she's she's a local chef with local ingredients selling
to locals. But at least one of her
ingredients was more local than the others.
(18:20):
Wow. Please tell the very first day.
You know you're about to be toldon the very first day.
The very first day Annabelle decided to start her business,
she ran into a bit of a dilemma.After spending all of her
investment money on gear and supplies, she realized she
didn't have enough pesos left tobuy meat.
(18:44):
No, no, so. You know what?
What is 1 to do in that situation?
Well, according to Annabelle, asluck would have it, quote, I
found a girl who got lost and was looking for her parents.
So. I took her to my house because
(19:07):
from there she was going to calltheir parents so that they could
pick her up in her backpack. She'd brought the numbers and
her parents address. But the devil is the devil And I
said to myself, Annabelle, there's meat for your tamales.
End Quote. The fact that that's a direct
(19:32):
quote. Yeah, I can't believe this is
that direct quote, Yeah. It's so poetic.
So like, very poetic. It's right.
Like what I know. She was thinking about that when
she did it, too. She was just like.
Yeah, this is this is free for me.
(19:54):
This is, yeah, my profit margin on this is literally 100%.
Yeah. There's so many kids walking to
school this. Is.
Yeah, I found a new man. I can't.
I just cannot believe this is 2010.
Right. It's wild.
It's so wild. All I imagine though is a like
(20:16):
Looney Tunes vignette Vignette of like her having like a net
outside her house and just yanking it up to catch kids.
This sells boxers and a little. Just a box.
Yeah, just a box. And Unta Marindo.
You know, an anvil with Acme on it With a rope.
A giant piano like Oh my God. Just a little spicy tamarind
(20:40):
candy, just like sitting there like old candy.
A chicken that just like it. Just like.
Well, if the hammer hits them, it makes her job easier because
the hammer just already. Spices, right?
Yeah. Oh my God.
Right into that. Tamales and she already puts
down. She already puts down the corn
stalks. So that like as soon as like
they. The soonest thing?
(21:01):
She just wraps them up. Dude, game over.
Yeah, she's got a whole production line.
Yeah, yeah. And then the like her youngest
kid just rolls them up and. Then she just.
Like puts. Them into.
It She's done. What's that?
What's that thing? A Rube Goldberg machine.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, which is just one thing
happens and just keeps setting it all off.
(21:21):
Hammer comes down, rolls her up,kid.
Yeah. Just like giving one free Tamale
away every day to the same kid and dropping an air tag in their
backpack. Just like, what is she?
Wow. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, but it is widely known.
(21:43):
I'm sorry. It is widely known that
livestock is getting fed. With the same livestock in this
country. So, like, not a stretch.
I'm sorry, no. There was that whole mad cow
thing for a while there. That's fair.
Just just a hot minute. I'm surprised we haven't got
reality from. Honestly, no.
(22:07):
No. Wow, you're so proud of it.
I did. Hope you would spit that out.
I did that. When you drank.
For good timing, very good timing.
Damn it. Damn it.
That that was the clip. I don't know if anybody marked
it, but that was the clip. I'll mark it now.
Thank you. Thank you, Sir.
(22:28):
Yeah. Wait, so how old is this lady?
Oh, she oh shit. I did the math at one point, but
I also failed math in school. Fucking.
Amateur. Come on now. 45 to 54 there was
a 5 and there was a four somewhere.
Middle age ish, right? So 45.
(22:51):
So in real human years, she's at20.
Yeah, yeah. Now it's yeah, yeah.
Yeah, but we age differently, yeah.
I don't know. She was, I guess.
Was she eating her own tamales as well, or do you know?
I was gonna ask that. Is she getting full on her own
supply, You know, and like you got to if they're that fucking
(23:14):
delicious, you. Know she had to have known.
She has to try to know they're that good.
Oh yeah. Like there's no way you can
avoid it now. Did she feed it to her family?
I don't know. She want a family.
Cuz it's like, oh shit, it's like quinceanera.
I mean, like, if there's a quinceanera coming up, what is
she going to do? Not bring her famous tamales.
My. God, that's how she's getting
(23:35):
their supply too. Yeah.
There's kids there. Bet.
Oh yeah, I can come this Saturday.
No, no, no, you don't need to pay me anything.
Don't worry, don't worry, it pays for itself if you think
about it. I mean, actually pays for it.
I mean, she's the one coming with all the Tupperware.
(23:57):
It's like super easy for her. She's already got her
Tupperware. I love that.
You know that. She's coming.
In well, I know. You're so, yeah, the Tupperware,
of course. Yeah, yeah.
None of the lids are right. They're all fitting wrong.
Half of them got Scotch tape on them and.
Yeah, some of them aren't Tupperware.
They're just like the margarine containers that are empty.
(24:19):
Yes. Yeah.
Yeah, I know. We know.
Yeah. I know my mom.
So like my dad who raised me Mexican, right?
My mom moved here from Germany. Almost identical.
I'm just gonna say almost I identical substitute beans for
potatoes. That's like literally.
It is the same. It is 100% the same you have.
(24:44):
It is a minefield opening up therefrigerator.
You have no clue what the fuck you're gonna find and there's no
room for anything. Like it's just like poosh.
Yeah, half the pans are in the oven.
It's like 3 kids, just Tetris inthere.
So what? She only.
Yo Hansel. Hansel and Gretel.
Hansel and Gretel, I'm just gonna say.
What the fuck? I can't.
(25:05):
I can't put the 4th kid in thereor completes a whole line and
the rest disappear. Yes, she's also a tattoos
master. Too, she's also a, yeah, world
record holder. Actually, world record shit.
And the kids? Did she only killing kids or
adults too, Like or just strictly kids?
(25:28):
To to the extent that information is available, right,
Which I really feel like this isone of those episodes we can
like cover again in like 5 yearswhen the police finally release
more information. Because let's be real, the
police and I never want to give them credit for anything, really
shouldn't be releasing this information to the public right
(25:50):
now. Like.
No, no. When you hear I did some math
later. Why not?
It's been like 15 years. But it's the problem with it, at
least from my perspective. Copycats.
Yeah, it's been 6. Oh, I don't know how it got.
(26:11):
So you said she started in 2010?She gets arrested in 2017.
Oh. It's been six years.
Y'all. It's only this is Racin.
How did I not hear this in the news or anyone's talking about?
I need to do better with the time that I tell people at the
(26:32):
intros of. No, no, I'm sure you told it
right and you just suck. Yeah, It's just me.
It's not you. It's me.
Yeah. I mean, you know me.
Like, yeah. Yeah, we do.
We do. Yeah.
So I'm just, I was enthralled bylike the beginning into and I'm
(26:53):
like fuck, I'm here dude, let's do it.
And I didn't even hear the time.I'm just captivated by the chaos
that is this tiny. I'm assuming no bigger than 5
foot one Mexican woman. Yeah.
I honestly think we're just too close for comfort food right
now, honestly. That's nice.
Nice. Good job.
Well, well. So human meat became the main
(27:16):
ingredient. Nembos.
Famous tamales and it would continue to be used for years.
Well, you might be asking yourself, Gil, how did it all
end? How did it all end Gil?
How did it all end, Gil so? Glad that you asked.
Thank you. Thank you.
(27:36):
Beth Sabe, the only one listening It was March 17th
20/17/2017. Around noon.
But it was around noon when the phone rang at the sleepy
neighborhood fire station. It was in shit going on, right?
(27:58):
And it was when one of the firefighters answered that they
heard a frantic woman on the other line.
She was scared to death because there was a strong smell of
natural gas coming from her neighbor.
Who else house must? Spend all the rice and beans.
I hate you. Been it.
God, I hate you so much. Well, the smell was apparently
(28:23):
so strong that there was a legitimate concern that a single
spark might blow up half of the block.
What's the racing means? Wow.
Until the firefighters rushed tothe scene.
(28:46):
They cordoned off the surrounding streets and
evacuated the nearby houses before making their way
carefully to the empty home of Annabelle Gomez Lopez.
Well, after trying to knock on the door for some time with no
answer, it was eventually decided they needed to break it
in. They needed to bust down the
door, right? This gas leak in the house might
(29:07):
literally blow up the neighborhood.
Like we'll figure out legal shitlater.
Okay fair. That is totally fair.
Well, once inside the priority is quickly changed by the scene
laid out in front of them. And at this point, I want to say
I don't know if the gas leak wasever attended to, of course.
(29:27):
Yeah, that makes sense, Yes. Bodies of young children lying
on the counter with partially exposed skeletons.
Human meat in the There's photos.
If you look up her name, you. See them?
You don't want to see them, but they will be one of the first
photos. You see human meat in the fridge
(29:50):
and eventually and there's photos, full fingers found
inside of some of the tamales and people, anybody.
Ever got one of those fingers? I was gonna say, do you think
anybody got a finger and just went?
I know, right? Just, you know, what, like, like
(30:12):
they're looking at her like I'm late for work.
I don't have time right now to deal with this.
Like, yeah, it'll sort itself out, you know?
My my wife was yelling at me. My kids were late to school.
The finger in this Tamale is thelast thing I have to worry
about. Yeah.
Or they're just like, wow, it still don't taste good, so
(30:33):
whatever. I mean.
I mean, you lick all 11 fingers clean after every Tamale, man.
That's true. Yeah, I mean.
It was really bad. It was on the sign that said.
Finger food? Thanks, Gil.
Appreciate that finger food. I like that one, yeah.
My mom always gets me for licking my fingers, so I
understand. I mean, I might.
(30:58):
Not licking somebody else's dead.
I was gonna say I'd be upset if you were eating dinner and
licking a finger you found in the plate as well.
Yeah, it's supposed to be somebody else's fingers.
Sorry, no, it's just my fingers.Strictly, I'd.
Be mad at me for playing with myfood.
They're already playing with their cells.
(31:22):
My God. I can count to 12.
Fuck, I mean my. Well, wouldn't you notice?
Like when you. If you buy one of the tamales
and there's a finger in it? Like the bone of the finger, but
like the. Phone listen when a Tamale is
that good. It's true.
(31:44):
Yeah, I might be willing to turnanother eye.
Like if I found a finger in my Starbucks, I'd say, you know
what? I paid 15 bucks for this.
Fuck it. I don't care.
You know it to. Stir the Starbucks.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry about that.
God damn. That's.
Disgusting. But in all honesty though, like
(32:07):
who? Who goes more than two or three
bites on the Tamale? Like honestly, I I you kidding
me? I look at.
It like I looks like I look likewhen I'm eating a Tamale.
I look like those documentaries I've seen on those websites that
end with the letter X, you know what I'm saying?
Like and and they have hubs in their food hub and finger hub,
(32:30):
Tamale hub, you know, like I'd be going in like 2 Max 3 bites.
It's down my throat. OK, I'm just being honest.
I mean all silence, OK? Well, that's me.
OK. I I.
Yeah, and especially like you said cuz they had it built to
like be unwrapped and eaten on the go.
It's not like you're cutting it with a fork.
(32:51):
If you're cutting with a fork, you'll find a finger, but if
you're just mowing it down really quickly.
OK, but that that is a test of skills with.
Masa. Like when she's putting it down,
because when you get, don't. Congratulate her.
Don't fucking give her kudos. When you get a shit Tamale, you
take. People die, Gill.
Fuck. Thank you for.
(33:13):
Reminding him. Did it say what art was like the
most used, like the butt cheek or like?
I can send you photos. I don't wanna.
Heart pass. I don't need that on my
computer. Tell the FBI.
Just just listen for. For science purposes, if one
were to be making the matters, what was the best part used?
(33:36):
Asking for a friend. Asking for a friend.
We had a good business model, OK.
Yo, after this episode of that is what gets me in trouble for.
Googling, this is what does it. Yo, the NSA is fucking up.
Y'all just come in, do whatever you want.
They are not paying attention. No, listen, don't hate the
(33:57):
player, all right? You're just the messenger.
Well, yeah, So, so obviously at this point, firefighters quickly
called the police and after confirming the horrifying
situation because apparently they needed to, they learned
(34:19):
from shocked neighbors who had found out by now where Annabelle
and where Annabelle was, and in very little time took her into
custody. All right.
Success, right? They did something.
And they looked at the Tamale next to her and be like, oh, I'm
pretty hungry, Oh no. Like, it's about lunchtime,
(34:39):
isn't it, guys? I mean, honestly, I would not be
surprised. Yep.
In Mexico, Yeah. No.
Mexico and then and in certain parts of western Germany from
last week's episode. Hey, they are the same.
Yeah. Yeah, literally.
(34:59):
Well, eventually she'd come to fully admit to her crimes,
confessing to have killed, cut up, and sold at least 50 people
before. In her words, 50 at least. 5055
(35:19):
Oh my God, this middle-aged woman killed 50 people to make
the malice. What?
She's like, I gotta get over theamount of people of my age, so I
think she was 49, so she got to 50.
And she's there. You go, well, this was all
before in her own words, gettingcaught only because, quote of
(35:42):
the stupid gas pot she had just changed.
Always the gas pot. And I would have gotten away
with it too, if it worked for you, Madeline neighbors, right?
Now it was these muscles. Go look up the quote, she
literally said. I would have gotten away with it
if it hadn't been for that stupid gas pot that I had just
(36:04):
changed. That is wild.
And it's funny to think the neighbors didn't smell anything.
Didn't I mean, I guess it smelled like a.
Like it smelled like meat cooking.
Yeah, meat cooking. Yeah, so.
So nobody would ever have guessed it otherwise.
And I'm guessing that she kept everything like well enough
wrapped. And the neighbors?
Except for the child's body on the table that literally, like
(36:25):
from here down, was the skeletonand the rest was meat.
Because that's the photos you can find.
Imagine if you got like an eye and you're like and you're
Tamale. Yeah, yeah.
Except to say I don't like this.I mean, I I.
(36:54):
No. Now, if you're my sister, you
might be asking yourself, Gil, how many tamales can you make
from one person? This is.
I was thinking about. Good foresight?
Well, that's a great question though.
It is, it is. And I was already working on it,
right? Well, according to my friend
Laura, the average lost child inMexico City probably has about
(37:15):
60 pounds of usable meal. Wow. 60 pounds of usable meat on
them. Multiply that by the 50
confessed murders and that comesout to about £3000 of meat.
OK, so then we averaged that outto about a half pound of meat
(37:38):
per dozen tamales. So we got 6000 dozen 6 * 1236
thousand human tamales. Give or take.
Just a little bit. I mean, she could have just made
beans, cheese, demolition. Honestly, she could have.
(37:58):
She could have reduced her cost by mixing a little bit of
regular meat in with it and eventually weaning off.
Yeah, she could have just not made little.
I mean, she also could have justnot murdered people.
True. Yeah.
I. Mean.
There's also that. Yeah.
Look, I'm thinking from a business perspective, yeah.
No, no. Solid, solid.
I was breaking down the math here.
(38:19):
I'm with you on. This.
You were bringing down the math.She was bringing down the
bodies, you know. I just figured it out how much
she saved. Would you guys like to please
tell us? Yeah.
So if you look at it as like. 670 per pound of meat, right?
So that's like per pound. You know you're looking at 6000
(38:41):
pounds of meat, right? That's how much she had.
Yeah, she saved $40,500 in U.S. dollars.
So in pesos I think it's about 16.
That's no, it's more, it's double out of 0, so about
800,000 pesos because it's about20 pesos to a dollar right now.
More than enough to actually buymeat.
(39:07):
I'm just saying because at some point her savings had to have
caught up with her and be like, hey, you know what?
I could stop. But that school bus that drives
by every day? It's.
Just so full of kids. It's just full of kids.
It just hits that one pothole. A kid falls out the back.
Who keeps putting these potholes?
(39:29):
Right in. Front of my house.
Turn in the middle of the night digging that bitch deeper.
Tink. Tink.
Well, yeah, she could have stopped.
You have to keep going. This.
Is like commitment to the bit good for her?
(39:49):
Yeah, no, she she had a she had a bit.
She had a routine. Full send.
I think it's crazy that she got away for the got away with this
for three. Years like nobody went, hey, my
kids gone, yeah. The last place I saw her was
walking over towards this box that.
Had and then she disappeared. It's like they disappeared from
(40:11):
the reality in a different site and they were just like, it's
fine, I got 7 other kids, it's OK.
Well, fine, yeah. Like whatever.
Yeah, I mean. OK, but it's just sad.
But it they didn't notice because people go missing so
much in Mexico that people are just used to it.
OK, but this seems like a littlebit much.
(40:34):
Yeah, like if an adult went missing, I get it.
Adults, they travel, they disappear, they live their own
lives, whatever a child and whatare like, do they give an age
range of these children? Oh, these were like little kids.
Like these were like little kids.
I mean with the with the first, her first victim, right, The
little girl. She literally had like her
(40:55):
parents, phone numbers and address in her backpack like.
So do why That doesn't give me one of those.
Little paper tags. She was -?
3 I don't know. She was super young, OK?
She was unborn Jesus. She was negative.
An unborn child, I wanna say honestly, as veal as you can
get, OK? You gotta think like between the
(41:17):
ages of like 6 and 10, yeah? I would imagine that, yeah.
Honestly. You think though, as she got
through her business and she started doing her her business
plan, she got her Google Excel sheets out, she's marking up how
much her costs are. And she was like, you know what
would actually be a little better?
Maybe if I get a little older, Igot a little more meat.
(41:37):
I have to kill a little less people and you know, they might
have more meat on them. Too eventually that that graph,
that curve would even out. Yeah, yeah, I get it.
Yeah. And to me, I guess she just
didn't get to the profit margin loss part of her business before
she got caught. You know, she's just like stayed
with the kids. Unless the kids she maybe killed
somebody killed an older one, didn't have the same taste as
(42:00):
the younger one. That's what Kroll said.
That's true. I wonder if it also did she pick
from specific neighborhoods? Cuz I wonder if she also like,
you know, like this street tastes better than this street.
You know, she was making upwardsof 100 tamales.
Actually, Speaking of making. My other question.
(42:22):
Hold on. Wait.
What? Hold on.
No, no, no, wait. Please go ahead.
How much is How much is she selling these tamales for I?
Have no idea, just a handful of pesos apparently.
Cuz like a hot like a hot a Costco hot dog in in Mexico is
treinta pesos. Okay.
Then that's one of their Polish dogs.
(42:43):
That's a pretty hefty size. That's a half pound, I think.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.
I can't imagine she would sell for less than.
I don't know, probably more. That seems to be something the
police have left out of the reportings.
I don't know why facts we need to know.
These are the numbers. I'm turning in a goddamn
(43:04):
business plan at the end of thisweek and I need these numbers.
Yeah. Goddamn it, no, this lady is so.
Hard to find information on I want to emphasize this I so
something I often do with some of these cases especially the
difficult ones is I will dig into the the masters and the
doctorate papers of like university students right.
(43:27):
Who like it's their full time job to dig into whatever the
fuck I'm researching that week right.
You know, thank you for your tuition costs and so I will dig
into it and and I have a certainset of sources.
I came across one. And after delivering all the
facts, yeah, no, no, no, no. Her Wikipedia sucks even worse
(43:48):
than this episode. So I came across a research
paper. The end of the research paper
literally said I I'm not kidding.
This is all the information I could find on her.
Professor, please don't flunk me.
(44:09):
OK, so I'm just saying to y'all that's I'm giving you a
doctorate level of research, yes.
As she's sparking down a Tamale.Yes, God damn it.
So anyways, I started hacking right?
And. Well, but yeah, so, so, but, but
(44:30):
math and murder aside and honestly, all jokes, A quick
PSA. I always try to buy my tamales
from a random person, selling them from a cooler out of the
back of a minivan, and never from a hipster taqueria.
I really stand by that. That is not a joke in that one
area. Fuck the motherfucker selling
them in white establishments andall this other bullshit, all
right? Not a fan of that.
(44:51):
Always go for the person sellingthem out of a minivan out of a.
I mean, not anymore after this story.
One crazy asshole. No.
Crazy asshole. Yes.
Thank you. Thank you, Jonathan.
This is why I brought you on. Wait till you see the the place
in your in the place where you live.
Open up and say we're making tamales just like we did back
(45:14):
home. Yeah.
You. Know what?
Just. I'm gonna open up a I'm gonna
put up a Tamil area right next to an orphanage.
Oh my. God.
Hey, little kids gotta eat. Little kids gotta eat.
A farm to table and we're bringing it straight to them.
Wow. I'm feeding the orphans, not the
other way around. Jesus.
(45:36):
Fucking monsters. Farm to table, Table to farm.
That's as much as we can sing without getting, uh, DC made so.
All right, full circle. Circle of life.
Yeah, yeah, that's it. That is it for this week's main
Body episode. Now now Jonathan.
(45:58):
Poor choice of words. Part of the show.
This is the part of the show where we where we have run out
of meat and we turn our focus over to you.
How are you? Is this because I'm a bigger
guy? Fuck you.
(46:19):
We can't even. See.
How are you holding? Yeah, we can't even see God that
that was. That was a lot to digest.
Ooh. So many jokes.
So many jokes. Yeah, just the her cost ratio,
(46:40):
man. Arm and a leg, huh?
But anyways, no. This is a lot.
This is fucking wild, these stories.
How did you end up choosing thisone?
I came across it on a Spanish language TikTok.
That was it. It was just it was just two
folks talking about it. That's I I.
Remember that one chick that used to sell kids and tamales
(47:02):
That. Wow.
OK. It was.
It was like a minute and a half TikTok, and I was.
Laughing to her. Oh.
My God, he was. He seriously was like, dude, so
like this lady, she was like. Fuck.
Based on that we're made of Based on that impression, I know
which chick T.O.K you're talkingabout, yes?
I know the guy. You know what I'm talking about?
(47:22):
He's sitting at Tony's like, dude, OK, so like, this lady,
bro, she was like selling this and I was just like, yo, there
has to be more to this story. There literally wasn't there.
That was the most full story. They delivered it, honestly.
So solid, but yeah. That's how it came across.
No fucking clue. I think they're from TikTok.
(47:44):
I don't like they're from. That's just a country at this
point. I don't.
Know TikTok? It's a country now.
Okay. Cool.
It is. It's a country.
It's it's own place, but but yeah man, how are you holding
up? How's your business plan coming
along? What's?
We had a little bit of a hitch on the meat department, but
(48:06):
we'll get there. OK.
Yeah, we we're looking at. Bendarians, now we're looking at
the Humane Society next. So we're we're shifting gears.
Yeah. You know I.
Actually think that's. Probably legal.
Honestly, we'd help out. There's a huge like kitten and
dog population problem after COVID cuz people would buy pets
and now the covid's kind of over.
They're releasing them again, soI'm doing my part.
(48:29):
Well, see, we're gonna release abunch of COVID meat tamales.
What he's actually doing is he'sfeeding the kids to the cats.
He's getting cat food and dog. Food, so he's feeding.
The see, there you go. It's a circle of life.
Just speeding shit up. God.
Like you? What?
(48:49):
What? Y'all aren't mad about climate
change, but you're mad about this?
Come on. This is where we draw the line.
This is where we draw the line. Weird hill to die on, but OK.
It's better to die on a hill. Than to die in a VAT of tamales.
(49:13):
I also like that one. But yeah, Jonathan, please, if,
if you would, if you would tell the listeners a little bit about
yourselves, we know why we love you.
OK And we will. If you don't include it, we
will. So but just just what do you do?
What are you into lately? What do you have planned?
(49:34):
What's What's going on in the world of Jonathan?
So for those that do know me or LA wanna start this My name is
Jonathan, your local representative Latinos Against
Spooky Shit and giving you all the old school advice on how to
avoid losses. Spookies with some tried and
true Hispanic and Mexican remedies.
(49:57):
Elvicks la Chanklas. The Brown Jesus Candles, Las
Povijas, The Fabuloso. Everything.
Yeah, dude. Heartburn, scrapes, cuts,
heartache. Whatever you got, Vicks will fix
it. That's what it's for.
I don't know. I I been doing that.
I've been really, really fortunate to be to be doing a
(50:18):
lot of new projects and a lot offun stuff.
I've started dabbling more on mynerdier side of things.
So I'm doing more streaming, I'mdoing more tabletop role-playing
game content which check it out.I've got some stuff on my links
that I've been a part of with some awesome awesome creators.
So check that out. But otherwise I'm.
Just trying to plug in the show notes.
(50:39):
Yes Sir. Other than that, I'm just
keeping my head clear of spooky shit, dude.
Now it seems like as folks who are fanatics.
About The Phantoms, about the about the spooky shit.
You keep coming up in our feet and that's that's how we found
you. You know the time of the era.
She brought you to us as something to.
(51:01):
You know. And no, no, but but I I will
say, I will say something that Iabsolutely love.
So like, we covered this content.
It's spooky, it's creepy, it's dark, it's yada, yada, yada.
You just. God damn it.
Please, folks, just go go check his content out from from
(51:23):
content creators on our end. This Jonathan, you are the
person that we go to for comedy.You are fucking hilarious.
You were selling yourself short right now.
All right, so Mike, like some human mate tamales out there.
You are way too cheap, OK? Way too cheap and way too
delicious like. Something that Jonathan does,
(51:44):
that I want to give a shout out to is that all of these trending
videos about this is a new spooky thing that came out, or
this is an apparent skinwalker in a field or Ohio's fucked up
again. You know, like all this shit
like that. Like within an hour Jonathan has
like one of the funniest fuckingvideos I've ever seen with some
shit that 5 seconds earlier was stopping your heart, but now
(52:06):
it's stopping your heart with laughter Like he is just.
Unbelievably hilarious. And so, like, just everything
that we dream to be in terms of like delivering humor to very
dark topics like, it's fantastic.
It's it's one of those things where I feel like you have to
laugh at it, or else you're justconsumed by it.
(52:27):
I remember. Do you guys remember paranormal
activity? The first one.
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, So when that movie first
came out, you know? I I hadn't embodied nothing was
again, spooky shit quite yet because I was years ago.
But we went and watched it. Fucking terrifying.
And I remember at the end of that film they hit you with the
based on true events like right before the credits.
Fucked me up. Fucked me up so badly.
(52:50):
Go home that night, I'm in bed and I'm tossing and turning and
I happen to look down at the feet of my bed, at the foot of
my bed, and I see a silhouette of like a person, shoulders,
head and I'm like. You're not going to get me
today, motherfucker. Not today.
Just the smell of tamales came in.
The just the smell of tamales slowly wafting into my room.
Small child singing that my little so so I I stared this
(53:17):
fucking thing down for 8 hours until the sun came up.
It was my coat. It was the coat that I left on
the back of my chair. Yeah, but but like it was then
that I realized oh shit, I really am a little bitch.
Like, I'm not about to fucking deal with any of this.
The fuck is? And so no it it, and even the
Latinos Against spooky shit thing, it was accidental.
(53:38):
I wish I could say that I came up with this incredible business
model plan to like, market this.No, absolutely not.
It was one video, one take, improv, and the first thing that
came out of my mouth was LatinosAgainst Spooky shit and I.
Guess I love. It it was.
It was. Which is better than my other
viral video. My first viral video was me
(53:59):
flipping an egg, and I was like,fuck, I'm the egg guy.
God damn it. I don't want to be that guy.
So no, it's it's been a wild journey.
What's that? You better than being the Tamale
guy or the. Tamale.
Baby, listen, yeah, there's there's worse things to be known
for for sure. But no, it's it's been fun and I
(54:19):
just think some of these. Videos are so absurd and like,
people put themselves in these fucking scenarios.
And I'm like, why? Like like the one that I haven't
commented on yet, because I'm trying to find a way.
It's it's because it it fucking gives me anxiety.
It's not scary in terms of like something paranormal.
It's those fucking people that go spelunking and cave exploring
(54:41):
and they're in like 3 inches of open space and like I have to
exhale to shimmy and then they try to fucking crawl through and
I'm like, you're 6 miles beneaththe earth.
In what fucking world does that make any sense, is there?
Unless there's a pot of gold at the end of this little rainbow,
there's no good reason. The, yeah, I think one of the
(55:03):
ones I was watching today, it came out fairly recently, but
you know, it's a video of some folks going up to a cave in
Utah, right? And there was the gates.
On the outside of The Cave. And then, of course, some shit
pops up out of the shadows and you see some white eyes, like
running up on it and you were like, yo.
The fence is there. Yeah, keep shit from getting
(55:25):
out. Okay.
It's not from keeping you in. But yeah, people, self
preservation is not a thing. Yeah, No.
No, no, no, no. Like Salem, MA just made, like
the world's biggest Ouija board.Like, cool, cool, cool, cool,
cool. Yeah, 2023 is going so great so
far. Let's fucking open up this kind
of worms. Yeah, let's get those.
(55:46):
Let's get those times back. I believe that's probably the
best thing we could do. You're right.
They've they've always made great decisions in Salem, MA.
I believe that's. On historically, yeah.
Nothing's ever gone wrong. Honestly, honestly though, folks
like you, you have to check out Jonathan's page.
(56:09):
You have to check out his accounts.
It's it. You'll be giving yourself a
treat every day. Every time he's posting
something, it'll always make youlaugh.
I guarantee you. That is why we've been so
excited about bringing him on the show is like we just wanted
an excuse to share him with withy'all.
Like please, please, please please.
It takes 5 seconds. Follow the links will be in the
(56:30):
show notes. Jonathan, I don't wanna ask like
what do you, what do you have planned, what do you have coming
up? Boy, I've got a trip to Gencon
where I'm just gonna be appearing as a as a guest at a
couple different little meet andgreets with people here in
August meeting with some folks that.
Is the Jennifer Lawrence Convention.
Yes, that is where we all dress up as Jennifer Lawrence.
(56:53):
That's the con is that none of us are Jennifer Lawrence and we
I'm gonna charge you $15 for a picture.
And it's a Kodak, too. It's one of those those old wine
ones, and you get to keep it, have fun figuring out how to get
that developed. That's the other part of the
con. So we're doing that.
(57:13):
My VI should say Monsters of theWeek tabletop RPG series that
I'm a part of is still releasingepisodes.
Episode one was released a couple weeks ago.
Still going live, still going strong, so feel free to check
that out. That's in my links.
And I'm going to be part of another campaign.
For D&D coming out soon, it's actually going to be a Call of
(57:34):
Cthulhu game to be determined onannouncing cast and whatnot.
But that is about it really the only other thing, if I can hit a
milestone, if I can hit a special milestone, it's going to
be a paranormal investigation inthe works.
So. So we'll see if potentially we
(57:57):
know but but if folks if need to.
Be. I mean, we'll talk because I can
always double down. Oh yeah, we go.
There we go. I'll have my chunk and my VIX.
That's all you. Need.
Yeah, it's not even for the ghost.
I'm just going to hit the guy, follow me with the camera, Leave
him behind. Psych bitch.
(58:21):
We're detecting some static. Awesome, man.
Well. So seriously, thank you, thank
you, thank you, thank you, thankyou, thank you, thank you so
much for coming on the show. It's it's been an absolute blast
and we've been waiting and everybody here can back me up on
this. We've been waiting for weeks to
(58:42):
get you on the show. We've been super, super excited
about it. It's, it's it's been fucking
awesome. And and I do want to ask is one
last favor, please, before you go, do you mind telling our
listeners? Where they can find and follow
you just just name drop. Just drop all your pluggables,
everything at all, and they willalso be in the show notes.
(59:04):
Absolutely. And before I do that, I just
want to say thank you for havingme on.
This has been an absolute blast.I loved every second of this and
I would love to come back. This has been incredible and fun
and wild and so fucking cool. Y'all can find me Latinos
against spooky shit on every single one of my platforms.
(59:24):
Except. The Bluebird app?
That one's gonna be against spooky, because Latinos against
spooky shit is way too long to have on there.
But Twitch, Instagram, TikTok, Latinos Against spooky shit.
You guys can follow me there, keep up to date with all the
stuff coming up, and interact with me as well.
Awesome. Thank you so much man.
(59:45):
Thank you.
For a fourth and final episode of Cannibal Month, we'd like to
present to you a little snack. A dessert if you will, one that
will undoubtedly haunt your dreams just as much as it will
your daily diet. Now, as someone who loves to dig
in and research the dark, diabolical and disturbing, I
must admit upfront there is not a whole lot of information
(00:25):
currently available about today's topic.
But even with that said, I assure you the aftertaste will
last much longer than the meal. Hello everyone, and welcome to
episode 56 of The Black Cat Report.
My name is Gil and I'll be your waiter this evening.
Now if you follow me this way, your friends Joey and Bets Vega
(00:46):
are already seated. Hola.
Hey, and it was just about to tell them that we have a very
special guest chef joining us tonight.
The social media badass we all love and follow, awesome human
being and international representative of #Latinos
Against Spooky Shit. Jonathan Perez Galvan.
(01:07):
Jonathan, so much for joining us.
How the hell are you doing tonight?
I'm doing good. What an intro.
My God, I'm hungry and terrified.
I can't wait to give you some more.
Can't wait to give you some more.
Are you ready to be mild to severely traumatized?
(01:28):
You mean growing up in a Hispanic household?
Yeah, I'm for it, dude. Born for it.
Let's go. Let's go.
God, yes. All right.
Our story takes place in the midto late 2000, tens on the
bustling platforms of Indios Verde subway station in Mexico
(01:50):
City. Located just blocks away from
universities, residential neighborhoods, city parks, and
thriving businesses, the subway station is crawling at all hours
with commuters as they come and go, consumed by the constant
circus of life's demanding schedules.
Has anyone here ever spent time in this area?
Ever been to Indios Verde subwaystation in Mexico City?
(02:14):
Nope. I have not.
No one is owning. That based on how this is
starting, I don't want. To yeah, Why would I?
That's good. That's very good.
I was going to stop the episode right now and get you on better
help or something if you happen.I'm Okay, Thanks.
(02:37):
Well, Needless to say, the patrons waiting for transfers
and racing to obligations have always welcomed a quick snack,
small meal to take the distance of their deadlines to make it a
lot shorter. Sorry, rephrase that.
Well, Needless to say, the patrons waiting for transfers
and racing to obligations have always welcomed a quick snack, a
(02:59):
small meal to make the distance to their destinations a lot
shorter. So with Mexico's long cherished
history of St. vendors, it comesas no surprise local
entrepreneurs, young and old, found willing customers in the
thousands craving any and all oftheir delicious homemade goods,
(03:21):
from tacos and enchiladas to paletas to a Lotte, churros
empanadas. And my favorite with the history
dating back thousands of years. Tamales.
Dude, pronunciation on point. Good for you.
Thank. You.
He's been practicing. You're not going.
Just in the mirror, nonstop. On my list.
On my list, on my list. Now I know this one.
(03:44):
Trust me, but but but no. But honestly, God bless
dabalitas for spending hours spreading masa on corn husks
before spooning in the meat, rolling them up and steaming
them to perfection. I don't know about you, but I
always need to grab at least twodozen, so I have 12 for my
family when I get home. And by family I mean my cats.
(04:07):
And when I say for them I mean myself.
That's just me. That's just me.
Yes, And Betsy Bay when she comes over, which I'm sorry, we
only have two left. Now, it's important to note
here, and I really, really want to make a point of this.
Street vendors represent an honest, necessary profession.
(04:28):
Love the world over by billions of people, some craving a Taste
of Home, others just looking to try something new, but all
experiencing centuries of closely held family recipes that
keep culture alive every time someone takes a bite.
I really want to emphasize that,and this is by no means an
exaggeration, because what you might not know is that
(04:52):
archaeologists have used hieroglyphics to trace the
tamales as far back as 5000 to 8000 BC.
Tamales have literally been around for seven to 10,000
years. That means their history goes
back two to three times farther than the construction of the
(05:12):
Egyptian pyramids. Which, if you've ever take the
time to actually make tamales athome, you know is more difficult
than building a pyramid hashtag ancient alien Tamalera.
It makes sense cuz it takes forever to make.
So yeah. Mmhmm.
(05:34):
I just thought that was fucking fascinating.
That's. Interesting.
It is, Yeah. I had no hieroglyphics like that
shit in stone, and it probably took less time to make the
hieroglyphic than the fucking tamales.
Right. Yeah, the.
Tamales we're eating right now are actually 5000 years old.
They're actually men for that. Actually, one of us has an
(05:56):
abuela that is about 5000 years old that was there when we made
the hieroglyphics. Oh.
My God, yes. My Father, yes.
Yes. He's been alive for that long.
It's funny you should say that, because I did come across when I
was kind of digging in a little bit into the history of tamales,
(06:16):
right? But there's an Aztec legend that
claims the 1st 20 Tamales were made by the grandmother of a God
whose name I can't pronounce from.
The name of her grandchild, whose name my Ohio raised ass
also cannot pronounce. What is it?
(06:36):
I have my values. Ever.
Please try. Please try.
Oh fucking shit. God damn it.
What did I put her in? Italics below.
No fucking shit. That's a weird name.
Pronounced that pretty well, Yeah, sits the middle.
The grandmother of the ancient God Chico Mehe Cheeto.
I tried. I tried.
(06:57):
Listen, I can't, I can't see howit's spelled.
So I'm gonna, I'm gonna say you're right.
I can't say otherwise. Yeah, yeah.
Wait, wait. Send it to me.
I wanna read it. I'm curious.
I'm not doing that right now, Beth.
Today I'm not. Why don't?
You do it earlier because I'm gonna have to type this out and
I don't know how to add the accents on my keyboard.
(07:17):
That's fair. I'll give him that one.
I still don't know that nobody needs, nobody needs to hear me
being like. And wait, is that a skit?
No. Control FF9 and that of that. 9
fingers to be able to do it properly.
On one hand, yes. Well, with all that said, as
(07:38):
we'll soon discover, some traditions should change, as is
the case with Annabel Gomez Lopez, aka La Tamalera de la
Muerte. Wow, Just saying, after a few
thousand years, mix it up. That's a Lucidor name, if I've
ever heard it right. Not anymore.
(08:05):
Maybe a punk band, but. Yeah, right.
Well, born in 1974, not much is actually known about the early
years of Annabelle Gomez Lopez, although it can be assumed that
by the time her career began as a Tamalera, a person who makes
and sells tamales, life had not offered her much academic and
(08:29):
financial privilege. What is known, however, is that
Annabella was an unbelievably hard worker with an incredible
talent as a chef and a knack forbeing a savvy marketer.
She was always there first thingin the morning, often before
dawn, selling her tamales by thedozen to the busy locals as they
(08:49):
rushed to catch their train at the Indios Verde subway station,
impossible to miss. The unique way she shaped and
wrapped her tamales had the promotional effect of seeing
people walk by with a Starbucks cup with.
A plump Oval with a Starbucks cup.
So like think about it. Like you're at a mall.
(09:11):
This was 2020, 1520. This was recent.
This is recent. No, this is really, like I said
at the beginning, late Twenty 10s?
No, no, no. This is why I asked if anybody's
been there recently. Because this was like 5-6 years
ago. Shit, yeah, wow.
(09:32):
Playing that in this, Yeah, right.
Putting that in perspective, oh I fuck, I said.
Yeah, twenty 10s was like the first.
I just. Figured that then like the 20s
like. 19 No, no, no. I heard twenty 10s, but I
figured, like, that's when the story first like the the urban
legend of this. No, this is a legitimate 2010.
Fuck me. OK, cool.
(09:52):
Wow. Yeah, no.
If you if you're old enough to listen to this episode, you
might have been there. Like there is a good chance you
might have been there so. Yeah, yeah, I right.
Starbucks. I was like, wait, yeah, yeah,
no, but. But I But I point that out.
(10:13):
I point that out because becauseif you think about if you're at,
if you're at a hospital, if you're at a mall, and if you're
in some city, wherever the hell you're at, you recognize the
Starbucks cup from far away frompeople walking with the
Starbucks. Like it has that.
Unfortunately, yes. Yeah.
It has that distinctive vibe to it.
Like you're like, oh, there's a Starbucks nearby, you know,
(10:33):
automatically. Right.
And this is where her savvy marketing came in, which
honestly, if she hadn't have ruined it.
You know, kind of like the the 1/4 central mustache, that
somebody we won't name Charlie Chaplin ruined, but you're.
So stylish too. It was so genius.
(10:53):
And for an ANSI fascist to get labeled like that anyways.
But so, so I did. I want to point this out.
This was the as somebody who grew up eating tamales, loves
tamales. What she did was fucking genius,
right? So to describe him a little bit,
they were plump, they were Oval,and they had bright green corn
(11:14):
husks that you could peel back and hold while you traveled
around on your morning routine. Oh, like, so It wasn't just like
a peel from the side, Peel from the side, eat, get it all over
your hands, kind of thing. Like, these were folks that were
on their way to work. Yeah, she, like, had it like a
wrap. Like like.
It's like a Japanese rice ball, yeah.
(11:34):
Yeah, yeah. Fucking brilliant.
This is fucking. Brilliant, right?
Why, But most of all, they were cheap and delicious.
Well, without fail, the smell, appearance and smile on the
holder's face would lead to others asking where they got
them. And so business for Annabelle
(11:55):
quickly became booming, obviously.
I mean, fucking killing it with marketing, Killing it with the
parents, Killing it with Price, killing it with just straight up
functionality while you're on your way to work, right?
That's huge. Gotta love it.
Little too much emphasis on the killing it.
I don't like where this is going.
I don't wanna spoil it, but. The juxtaposition here well.
(12:22):
Yeah, it sounds too good to be true.
Well, where it is that on average, Annabelle would sell
over 100 tamales a day in just two hours.
Now I've done the math here and it comes out to about .8 tamales
a minute, like just boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.
(12:46):
Like she is just they are flyingout of the, I'm assuming a
cooler because that's the only place I've ever seen somebody
just selling tamales. You know like yeah, I hope yeah,
which is the best. Yeah, I hope so.
Honestly though with the two hour sale time, like she don't
even need a cooler, but she's. But that's it.
So she's she's she's crushing it.
(13:07):
She's crushing it well, for at least two years.
Life as a Tamalera for AnnabelleGomez, Lopez was going great.
Honestly, she had quite the routine down, always selling out
of tamales within hours of stepping foot onto her favorite
street corner, then spending therest of the day hitting up
(13:29):
markets for ingredients around town before finally going home
and cooking up a fresh batch forthe next day.
Solid. She's a She's a local chef.
Local ingredients selling. Oops, we lost bets.
A Bay. Yeah, she'll pop back.
Yeah, God damn it. You can't even blame Mexico
(13:53):
either. She has bad Wi-Fi in Asheville,
NC She's like, well. It's fucking North Carolina,
though. They barely got Internet.
They barely got electricity. Yeah, we don't.
It's true. It's true.
The TVA gave us some. There you are.
These are just cut up glow sticks back here, man.
These are fucking lights. How much money I spend at the
(14:13):
dollar? On glow sticks alone.
Yeah, glow sticks, bro. I've got fingernail cancer over
here. Don't stare at his shirt too
long, either. Dude, I'm not gonna lie to you.
That shit fucked me up when I first popped into the screen.
I was like, oh, is something wrong with the screen?
And then I looked at it longer, but he looked fine, but the
(14:35):
shirt didn't. And I was like, Oh no, I'm just
having a fucking stroke right now.
It. Looks like that in real life
too. No, I can't When he wears it
too. It's freaky, I.
Sorry, I I directed your attention to it.
No, no, I'm glad you didn't say it the other way around.
If like dude, I love that shirt.But when I saw your face for the
first time, it was. I can start the shirt all day
(14:56):
but that face, dude. Fuck.
Multi dimensional. All right, all right.
We are getting through the script.
We're moving very fast, by the way.
This is a very, very short story.
But it's like I said, it's a dessert, you know, like.
So everybody hop in. Beef it up if you want.
(15:16):
Where was I? Okay.
Honestly, she had quite the routine down, always selling out
of tamales within hours of stepping foot onto her favorite
street corner, then spending therest of the day hitting up
markets for ingredients around town, before finally going home
and cooking up a fresh batch forthe next day.
(15:37):
What a life with local ingredients.
I know the I mean it's it's fucking hard ass work.
But like the fact that she had that salad routine and she had
that solid income from being like a street vendor, like
that's. And only in two hours, working
and calling it a day. Two hours.
But she did go home and make hundreds of tamales, so like she
worked. You know, she's got her kids and
(15:59):
everybody else working on that. With her, though, there's no way
that was on. Her own.
The whole family's working. Yeah.
Yeah, definitely not. Woman actually make tamales.
It's always a grandma. It's true.
It's somebody on Social Security, right?
It's an older, it's an older person.
Or is somebody in preschool. Those are the only two options.
(16:21):
There's an in between to Mom. Yeah, there's no in between.
It's like that kid. Remember the kid we saw on the
beach that had like a huge Instagram following?
I know he was famous. He was selling like empanadas, I
think. Yeah, I forgot what it was.
Yeah, but he spoke in French. It was so good.
Or just a full polyglob language.
(16:43):
Everything and so. Yeah, he's.
Like, yeah, this was in was thisin Acapulco, Puerto Vallarta, I
remember. That sounds like some Puerto
Vallarta shit, I think. I'm not gonna lie, but that
sounds like something from Puerto Vallarta.
That's where he was. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it probably
was, Yeah. It was so good too.
And. Like, disrespect, Acapulco, but
you know, we know who you are. Yes, they're the West Virginia
(17:09):
of Mexico. It's OK.
Yeah, baby. Oh.
Oh my God, yeah. Did I land that shot?
I just took a shot. I don't know if it's true.
Yeah, it's like they're Myrtle Beach getting some headed on
Myrtle Beach, yeah. It's the Myrtle Beach.
Yeah, it's Myrtle Beach. OK.
It's her at Landing Cuz. Again, I'm from Ohio.
(17:29):
I'm gonna say some fucked up shit.
OK? I'm sorry.
Yeah. Yeah, Cuz, but the way it does,
more like Charleston, that area.Yeah.
But the way it does the Disneyland for certain
demographic of people to go downto Mexico.
Thank you for respecting our listenership.
I appreciate that, Jonath. Very professional.
(17:54):
Yeah, no, I know where I'm at. I've navigated this minefield,
Tell us where to go, because we still haven't.
All right. But but yeah, so so you know
she's she's she's a local chef with local ingredients selling
to locals. But at least one of her
ingredients was more local than the others.
(18:20):
Wow. Please tell the very first day.
You know you're about to be toldon the very first day.
The very first day Annabelle decided to start her business,
she ran into a bit of a dilemma.After spending all of her
investment money on gear and supplies, she realized she
didn't have enough pesos left tobuy meat.
(18:44):
No, no, so. You know what?
What is 1 to do in that situation?
Well, according to Annabelle, asluck would have it, quote, I
found a girl who got lost and was looking for her parents.
So. I took her to my house because
(19:07):
from there she was going to calltheir parents so that they could
pick her up in her backpack. She'd brought the numbers and
her parents address. But the devil is the devil And I
said to myself, Annabelle, there's meat for your tamales.
End Quote. The fact that that's a direct
(19:32):
quote. Yeah, I can't believe this is
that direct quote, Yeah. It's so poetic.
So like, very poetic. It's right.
Like what I know. She was thinking about that when
she did it, too. She was just like.
Yeah, this is this is free for me.
(19:54):
This is, yeah, my profit margin on this is literally 100%.
Yeah. There's so many kids walking to
school this. Is.
Yeah, I found a new man. I can't.
I just cannot believe this is 2010.
Right. It's wild.
It's so wild. All I imagine though is a like
(20:16):
Looney Tunes vignette Vignette of like her having like a net
outside her house and just yanking it up to catch kids.
This sells boxers and a little. Just a box.
Yeah, just a box. And Unta Marindo.
You know, an anvil with Acme on it With a rope.
A giant piano like Oh my God. Just a little spicy tamarind
(20:40):
candy, just like sitting there like old candy.
A chicken that just like it. Just like.
Well, if the hammer hits them, it makes her job easier because
the hammer just already. Spices, right?
Yeah. Oh my God.
Right into that. Tamales and she already puts
down. She already puts down the corn
stalks. So that like as soon as like
they. The soonest thing?
(21:01):
She just wraps them up. Dude, game over.
Yeah, she's got a whole production line.
Yeah, yeah. And then the like her youngest
kid just rolls them up and. Then she just.
Like puts. Them into.
It She's done. What's that?
What's that thing? A Rube Goldberg machine.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, which is just one thing
happens and just keeps setting it all off.
(21:21):
Hammer comes down, rolls her up,kid.
Yeah. Just like giving one free Tamale
away every day to the same kid and dropping an air tag in their
backpack. Just like, what is she?
Wow. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, but it is widely known.
(21:43):
I'm sorry. It is widely known that
livestock is getting fed. With the same livestock in this
country. So, like, not a stretch.
I'm sorry, no. There was that whole mad cow
thing for a while there. That's fair.
Just just a hot minute. I'm surprised we haven't got
reality from. Honestly, no.
(22:07):
No. Wow, you're so proud of it.
I did. Hope you would spit that out.
I did that. When you drank.
For good timing, very good timing.
Damn it. Damn it.
That that was the clip. I don't know if anybody marked
it, but that was the clip. I'll mark it now.
Thank you. Thank you, Sir.
(22:28):
Yeah. Wait, so how old is this lady?
Oh, she oh shit. I did the math at one point, but
I also failed math in school. Fucking.
Amateur. Come on now. 45 to 54 there was
a 5 and there was a four somewhere.
Middle age ish, right? So 45.
(22:51):
So in real human years, she's at20.
Yeah, yeah. Now it's yeah, yeah.
Yeah, but we age differently, yeah.
I don't know. She was, I guess.
Was she eating her own tamales as well, or do you know?
I was gonna ask that. Is she getting full on her own
supply, You know, and like you got to if they're that fucking
(23:14):
delicious, you. Know she had to have known.
She has to try to know they're that good.
Oh yeah. Like there's no way you can
avoid it now. Did she feed it to her family?
I don't know. She want a family.
Cuz it's like, oh shit, it's like quinceanera.
I mean, like, if there's a quinceanera coming up, what is
she going to do? Not bring her famous tamales.
My. God, that's how she's getting
(23:35):
their supply too. Yeah.
There's kids there. Bet.
Oh yeah, I can come this Saturday.
No, no, no, you don't need to pay me anything.
Don't worry, don't worry, it pays for itself if you think
about it. I mean, actually pays for it.
I mean, she's the one coming with all the Tupperware.
(23:57):
It's like super easy for her. She's already got her
Tupperware. I love that.
You know that. She's coming.
In well, I know. You're so, yeah, the Tupperware,
of course. Yeah, yeah.
None of the lids are right. They're all fitting wrong.
Half of them got Scotch tape on them and.
Yeah, some of them aren't Tupperware.
They're just like the margarine containers that are empty.
(24:19):
Yes. Yeah.
Yeah, I know. We know.
Yeah. I know my mom.
So like my dad who raised me Mexican, right?
My mom moved here from Germany. Almost identical.
I'm just gonna say almost I identical substitute beans for
potatoes. That's like literally.
It is the same. It is 100% the same you have.
(24:44):
It is a minefield opening up therefrigerator.
You have no clue what the fuck you're gonna find and there's no
room for anything. Like it's just like poosh.
Yeah, half the pans are in the oven.
It's like 3 kids, just Tetris inthere.
So what? She only.
Yo Hansel. Hansel and Gretel.
Hansel and Gretel, I'm just gonna say.
What the fuck? I can't.
(25:05):
I can't put the 4th kid in thereor completes a whole line and
the rest disappear. Yes, she's also a tattoos
master. Too, she's also a, yeah, world
record holder. Actually, world record shit.
And the kids? Did she only killing kids or
adults too, Like or just strictly kids?
(25:28):
To to the extent that information is available, right,
Which I really feel like this isone of those episodes we can
like cover again in like 5 yearswhen the police finally release
more information. Because let's be real, the
police and I never want to give them credit for anything, really
shouldn't be releasing this information to the public right
(25:50):
now. Like.
No, no. When you hear I did some math
later. Why not?
It's been like 15 years. But it's the problem with it, at
least from my perspective. Copycats.
Yeah, it's been 6. Oh, I don't know how it got.
(26:11):
So you said she started in 2010?She gets arrested in 2017.
Oh. It's been six years.
Y'all. It's only this is Racin.
How did I not hear this in the news or anyone's talking about?
I need to do better with the time that I tell people at the
(26:32):
intros of. No, no, I'm sure you told it
right and you just suck. Yeah, It's just me.
It's not you. It's me.
Yeah. I mean, you know me.
Like, yeah. Yeah, we do.
We do. Yeah.
So I'm just, I was enthralled bylike the beginning into and I'm
(26:53):
like fuck, I'm here dude, let's do it.
And I didn't even hear the time.I'm just captivated by the chaos
that is this tiny. I'm assuming no bigger than 5
foot one Mexican woman. Yeah.
I honestly think we're just too close for comfort food right
now, honestly. That's nice.
Nice. Good job.
Well, well. So human meat became the main
(27:16):
ingredient. Nembos.
Famous tamales and it would continue to be used for years.
Well, you might be asking yourself, Gil, how did it all
end? How did it all end Gil?
How did it all end, Gil so? Glad that you asked.
Thank you. Thank you.
(27:36):
Beth Sabe, the only one listening It was March 17th
20/17/2017. Around noon.
But it was around noon when the phone rang at the sleepy
neighborhood fire station. It was in shit going on, right?
(27:58):
And it was when one of the firefighters answered that they
heard a frantic woman on the other line.
She was scared to death because there was a strong smell of
natural gas coming from her neighbor.
Who else house must? Spend all the rice and beans.
I hate you. Been it.
God, I hate you so much. Well, the smell was apparently
(28:23):
so strong that there was a legitimate concern that a single
spark might blow up half of the block.
What's the racing means? Wow.
Until the firefighters rushed tothe scene.
(28:46):
They cordoned off the surrounding streets and
evacuated the nearby houses before making their way
carefully to the empty home of Annabelle Gomez Lopez.
Well, after trying to knock on the door for some time with no
answer, it was eventually decided they needed to break it
in. They needed to bust down the
door, right? This gas leak in the house might
(29:07):
literally blow up the neighborhood.
Like we'll figure out legal shitlater.
Okay fair. That is totally fair.
Well, once inside the priority is quickly changed by the scene
laid out in front of them. And at this point, I want to say
I don't know if the gas leak wasever attended to, of course.
(29:27):
Yeah, that makes sense, Yes. Bodies of young children lying
on the counter with partially exposed skeletons.
Human meat in the There's photos.
If you look up her name, you. See them?
You don't want to see them, but they will be one of the first
photos. You see human meat in the fridge
(29:50):
and eventually and there's photos, full fingers found
inside of some of the tamales and people, anybody.
Ever got one of those fingers? I was gonna say, do you think
anybody got a finger and just went?
I know, right? Just, you know, what, like, like
(30:12):
they're looking at her like I'm late for work.
I don't have time right now to deal with this.
Like, yeah, it'll sort itself out, you know?
My my wife was yelling at me. My kids were late to school.
The finger in this Tamale is thelast thing I have to worry
about. Yeah.
Or they're just like, wow, it still don't taste good, so
(30:33):
whatever. I mean.
I mean, you lick all 11 fingers clean after every Tamale, man.
That's true. Yeah, I mean.
It was really bad. It was on the sign that said.
Finger food? Thanks, Gil.
Appreciate that finger food. I like that one, yeah.
My mom always gets me for licking my fingers, so I
understand. I mean, I might.
(30:58):
Not licking somebody else's dead.
I was gonna say I'd be upset if you were eating dinner and
licking a finger you found in the plate as well.
Yeah, it's supposed to be somebody else's fingers.
Sorry, no, it's just my fingers.Strictly, I'd.
Be mad at me for playing with myfood.
They're already playing with their cells.
(31:22):
My God. I can count to 12.
Fuck, I mean my. Well, wouldn't you notice?
Like when you. If you buy one of the tamales
and there's a finger in it? Like the bone of the finger, but
like the. Phone listen when a Tamale is
that good. It's true.
(31:44):
Yeah, I might be willing to turnanother eye.
Like if I found a finger in my Starbucks, I'd say, you know
what? I paid 15 bucks for this.
Fuck it. I don't care.
You know it to. Stir the Starbucks.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry about that.
God damn. That's.
Disgusting. But in all honesty though, like
(32:07):
who? Who goes more than two or three
bites on the Tamale? Like honestly, I I you kidding
me? I look at.
It like I looks like I look likewhen I'm eating a Tamale.
I look like those documentaries I've seen on those websites that
end with the letter X, you know what I'm saying?
Like and and they have hubs in their food hub and finger hub,
(32:30):
Tamale hub, you know, like I'd be going in like 2 Max 3 bites.
It's down my throat. OK, I'm just being honest.
I mean all silence, OK? Well, that's me.
OK. I I.
Yeah, and especially like you said cuz they had it built to
like be unwrapped and eaten on the go.
It's not like you're cutting it with a fork.
(32:51):
If you're cutting with a fork, you'll find a finger, but if
you're just mowing it down really quickly.
OK, but that that is a test of skills with.
Masa. Like when she's putting it down,
because when you get, don't. Congratulate her.
Don't fucking give her kudos. When you get a shit Tamale, you
take. People die, Gill.
Fuck. Thank you for.
(33:13):
Reminding him. Did it say what art was like the
most used, like the butt cheek or like?
I can send you photos. I don't wanna.
Heart pass. I don't need that on my
computer. Tell the FBI.
Just just listen for. For science purposes, if one
were to be making the matters, what was the best part used?
(33:36):
Asking for a friend. Asking for a friend.
We had a good business model, OK.
Yo, after this episode of that is what gets me in trouble for.
Googling, this is what does it. Yo, the NSA is fucking up.
Y'all just come in, do whatever you want.
They are not paying attention. No, listen, don't hate the
(33:57):
player, all right? You're just the messenger.
Well, yeah, So, so obviously at this point, firefighters quickly
called the police and after confirming the horrifying
situation because apparently they needed to, they learned
(34:19):
from shocked neighbors who had found out by now where Annabelle
and where Annabelle was, and in very little time took her into
custody. All right.
Success, right? They did something.
And they looked at the Tamale next to her and be like, oh, I'm
pretty hungry, Oh no. Like, it's about lunchtime,
(34:39):
isn't it, guys? I mean, honestly, I would not be
surprised. Yep.
In Mexico, Yeah. No.
Mexico and then and in certain parts of western Germany from
last week's episode. Hey, they are the same.
Yeah. Yeah, literally.
(34:59):
Well, eventually she'd come to fully admit to her crimes,
confessing to have killed, cut up, and sold at least 50 people
before. In her words, 50 at least. 5055
(35:19):
Oh my God, this middle-aged woman killed 50 people to make
the malice. What?
She's like, I gotta get over theamount of people of my age, so I
think she was 49, so she got to 50.
And she's there. You go, well, this was all
before in her own words, gettingcaught only because, quote of
(35:42):
the stupid gas pot she had just changed.
Always the gas pot. And I would have gotten away
with it too, if it worked for you, Madeline neighbors, right?
Now it was these muscles. Go look up the quote, she
literally said. I would have gotten away with it
if it hadn't been for that stupid gas pot that I had just
(36:04):
changed. That is wild.
And it's funny to think the neighbors didn't smell anything.
Didn't I mean, I guess it smelled like a.
Like it smelled like meat cooking.
Yeah, meat cooking. Yeah, so.
So nobody would ever have guessed it otherwise.
And I'm guessing that she kept everything like well enough
wrapped. And the neighbors?
Except for the child's body on the table that literally, like
(36:25):
from here down, was the skeletonand the rest was meat.
Because that's the photos you can find.
Imagine if you got like an eye and you're like and you're
Tamale. Yeah, yeah.
Except to say I don't like this.I mean, I I.
(36:54):
No. Now, if you're my sister, you
might be asking yourself, Gil, how many tamales can you make
from one person? This is.
I was thinking about. Good foresight?
Well, that's a great question though.
It is, it is. And I was already working on it,
right? Well, according to my friend
Laura, the average lost child inMexico City probably has about
(37:15):
60 pounds of usable meal. Wow. 60 pounds of usable meat on
them. Multiply that by the 50
confessed murders and that comesout to about £3000 of meat.
OK, so then we averaged that outto about a half pound of meat
(37:38):
per dozen tamales. So we got 6000 dozen 6 * 1236
thousand human tamales. Give or take.
Just a little bit. I mean, she could have just made
beans, cheese, demolition. Honestly, she could have.
(37:58):
She could have reduced her cost by mixing a little bit of
regular meat in with it and eventually weaning off.
Yeah, she could have just not made little.
I mean, she also could have justnot murdered people.
True. Yeah.
I. Mean.
There's also that. Yeah.
Look, I'm thinking from a business perspective, yeah.
No, no. Solid, solid.
I was breaking down the math here.
(38:19):
I'm with you on. This.
You were bringing down the math.She was bringing down the
bodies, you know. I just figured it out how much
she saved. Would you guys like to please
tell us? Yeah.
So if you look at it as like. 670 per pound of meat, right?
So that's like per pound. You know you're looking at 6000
(38:41):
pounds of meat, right? That's how much she had.
Yeah, she saved $40,500 in U.S. dollars.
So in pesos I think it's about 16.
That's no, it's more, it's double out of 0, so about
800,000 pesos because it's about20 pesos to a dollar right now.
More than enough to actually buymeat.
(39:07):
I'm just saying because at some point her savings had to have
caught up with her and be like, hey, you know what?
I could stop. But that school bus that drives
by every day? It's.
Just so full of kids. It's just full of kids.
It just hits that one pothole. A kid falls out the back.
Who keeps putting these potholes?
(39:29):
Right in. Front of my house.
Turn in the middle of the night digging that bitch deeper.
Tink. Tink.
Well, yeah, she could have stopped.
You have to keep going. This.
Is like commitment to the bit good for her?
(39:49):
Yeah, no, she she had a she had a bit.
She had a routine. Full send.
I think it's crazy that she got away for the got away with this
for three. Years like nobody went, hey, my
kids gone, yeah. The last place I saw her was
walking over towards this box that.
Had and then she disappeared. It's like they disappeared from
(40:11):
the reality in a different site and they were just like, it's
fine, I got 7 other kids, it's OK.
Well, fine, yeah. Like whatever.
Yeah, I mean. OK, but it's just sad.
But it they didn't notice because people go missing so
much in Mexico that people are just used to it.
OK, but this seems like a littlebit much.
(40:34):
Yeah, like if an adult went missing, I get it.
Adults, they travel, they disappear, they live their own
lives, whatever a child and whatare like, do they give an age
range of these children? Oh, these were like little kids.
Like these were like little kids.
I mean with the with the first, her first victim, right, The
little girl. She literally had like her
(40:55):
parents, phone numbers and address in her backpack like.
So do why That doesn't give me one of those.
Little paper tags. She was -?
3 I don't know. She was super young, OK?
She was unborn Jesus. She was negative.
An unborn child, I wanna say honestly, as veal as you can
get, OK? You gotta think like between the
(41:17):
ages of like 6 and 10, yeah? I would imagine that, yeah.
Honestly. You think though, as she got
through her business and she started doing her her business
plan, she got her Google Excel sheets out, she's marking up how
much her costs are. And she was like, you know what
would actually be a little better?
Maybe if I get a little older, Igot a little more meat.
(41:37):
I have to kill a little less people and you know, they might
have more meat on them. Too eventually that that graph,
that curve would even out. Yeah, yeah, I get it.
Yeah. And to me, I guess she just
didn't get to the profit margin loss part of her business before
she got caught. You know, she's just like stayed
with the kids. Unless the kids she maybe killed
somebody killed an older one, didn't have the same taste as
(42:00):
the younger one. That's what Kroll said.
That's true. I wonder if it also did she pick
from specific neighborhoods? Cuz I wonder if she also like,
you know, like this street tastes better than this street.
You know, she was making upwardsof 100 tamales.
Actually, Speaking of making. My other question.
(42:22):
Hold on. Wait.
What? Hold on.
No, no, no, wait. Please go ahead.
How much is How much is she selling these tamales for I?
Have no idea, just a handful of pesos apparently.
Cuz like a hot like a hot a Costco hot dog in in Mexico is
treinta pesos. Okay.
Then that's one of their Polish dogs.
(42:43):
That's a pretty hefty size. That's a half pound, I think.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.
I can't imagine she would sell for less than.
I don't know, probably more. That seems to be something the
police have left out of the reportings.
I don't know why facts we need to know.
These are the numbers. I'm turning in a goddamn
(43:04):
business plan at the end of thisweek and I need these numbers.
Yeah. Goddamn it, no, this lady is so.
Hard to find information on I want to emphasize this I so
something I often do with some of these cases especially the
difficult ones is I will dig into the the masters and the
doctorate papers of like university students right.
(43:27):
Who like it's their full time job to dig into whatever the
fuck I'm researching that week right.
You know, thank you for your tuition costs and so I will dig
into it and and I have a certainset of sources.
I came across one. And after delivering all the
facts, yeah, no, no, no, no. Her Wikipedia sucks even worse
(43:48):
than this episode. So I came across a research
paper. The end of the research paper
literally said I I'm not kidding.
This is all the information I could find on her.
Professor, please don't flunk me.
(44:09):
OK, so I'm just saying to y'all that's I'm giving you a
doctorate level of research, yes.
As she's sparking down a Tamale.Yes, God damn it.
So anyways, I started hacking right?
And. Well, but yeah, so, so, but, but
(44:30):
math and murder aside and honestly, all jokes, A quick
PSA. I always try to buy my tamales
from a random person, selling them from a cooler out of the
back of a minivan, and never from a hipster taqueria.
I really stand by that. That is not a joke in that one
area. Fuck the motherfucker selling
them in white establishments andall this other bullshit, all
right? Not a fan of that.
(44:51):
Always go for the person sellingthem out of a minivan out of a.
I mean, not anymore after this story.
One crazy asshole. No.
Crazy asshole. Yes.
Thank you. Thank you, Jonathan.
This is why I brought you on. Wait till you see the the place
in your in the place where you live.
Open up and say we're making tamales just like we did back
(45:14):
home. Yeah.
You. Know what?
Just. I'm gonna open up a I'm gonna
put up a Tamil area right next to an orphanage.
Oh my. God.
Hey, little kids gotta eat. Little kids gotta eat.
A farm to table and we're bringing it straight to them.
Wow. I'm feeding the orphans, not the
other way around. Jesus.
(45:36):
Fucking monsters. Farm to table, Table to farm.
That's as much as we can sing without getting, uh, DC made so.
All right, full circle. Circle of life.
Yeah, yeah, that's it. That is it for this week's main
Body episode. Now now Jonathan.
(45:58):
Poor choice of words. Part of the show.
This is the part of the show where we where we have run out
of meat and we turn our focus over to you.
How are you? Is this because I'm a bigger
guy? Fuck you.
(46:19):
We can't even. See.
How are you holding? Yeah, we can't even see God that
that was. That was a lot to digest.
Ooh. So many jokes.
So many jokes. Yeah, just the her cost ratio,
(46:40):
man. Arm and a leg, huh?
But anyways, no. This is a lot.
This is fucking wild, these stories.
How did you end up choosing thisone?
I came across it on a Spanish language TikTok.
That was it. It was just it was just two
folks talking about it. That's I I.
Remember that one chick that used to sell kids and tamales
(47:02):
That. Wow.
OK. It was.
It was like a minute and a half TikTok, and I was.
Laughing to her. Oh.
My God, he was. He seriously was like, dude, so
like this lady, she was like. Fuck.
Based on that we're made of Based on that impression, I know
which chick T.O.K you're talkingabout, yes?
I know the guy. You know what I'm talking about?
(47:22):
He's sitting at Tony's like, dude, OK, so like, this lady,
bro, she was like selling this and I was just like, yo, there
has to be more to this story. There literally wasn't there.
That was the most full story. They delivered it, honestly.
So solid, but yeah. That's how it came across.
No fucking clue. I think they're from TikTok.
(47:44):
I don't like they're from. That's just a country at this
point. I don't.
Know TikTok? It's a country now.
Okay. Cool.
It is. It's a country.
It's it's own place, but but yeah man, how are you holding
up? How's your business plan coming
along? What's?
We had a little bit of a hitch on the meat department, but
(48:06):
we'll get there. OK.
Yeah, we we're looking at. Bendarians, now we're looking at
the Humane Society next. So we're we're shifting gears.
Yeah. You know I.
Actually think that's. Probably legal.
Honestly, we'd help out. There's a huge like kitten and
dog population problem after COVID cuz people would buy pets
and now the covid's kind of over.
They're releasing them again, soI'm doing my part.
(48:29):
Well, see, we're gonna release abunch of COVID meat tamales.
What he's actually doing is he'sfeeding the kids to the cats.
He's getting cat food and dog. Food, so he's feeding.
The see, there you go. It's a circle of life.
Just speeding shit up. God.
Like you? What?
(48:49):
What? Y'all aren't mad about climate
change, but you're mad about this?
Come on. This is where we draw the line.
This is where we draw the line. Weird hill to die on, but OK.
It's better to die on a hill. Than to die in a VAT of tamales.
(49:13):
I also like that one. But yeah, Jonathan, please, if,
if you would, if you would tell the listeners a little bit about
yourselves, we know why we love you.
OK And we will. If you don't include it, we
will. So but just just what do you do?
What are you into lately? What do you have planned?
(49:34):
What's What's going on in the world of Jonathan?
So for those that do know me or LA wanna start this My name is
Jonathan, your local representative Latinos Against
Spooky Shit and giving you all the old school advice on how to
avoid losses. Spookies with some tried and
true Hispanic and Mexican remedies.
(49:57):
Elvicks la Chanklas. The Brown Jesus Candles, Las
Povijas, The Fabuloso. Everything.
Yeah, dude. Heartburn, scrapes, cuts,
heartache. Whatever you got, Vicks will fix
it. That's what it's for.
I don't know. I I been doing that.
I've been really, really fortunate to be to be doing a
(50:18):
lot of new projects and a lot offun stuff.
I've started dabbling more on mynerdier side of things.
So I'm doing more streaming, I'mdoing more tabletop role-playing
game content which check it out.I've got some stuff on my links
that I've been a part of with some awesome awesome creators.
So check that out. But otherwise I'm.
Just trying to plug in the show notes.
(50:39):
Yes Sir. Other than that, I'm just
keeping my head clear of spooky shit, dude.
Now it seems like as folks who are fanatics.
About The Phantoms, about the about the spooky shit.
You keep coming up in our feet and that's that's how we found
you. You know the time of the era.
She brought you to us as something to.
(51:01):
You know. And no, no, but but I I will
say, I will say something that Iabsolutely love.
So like, we covered this content.
It's spooky, it's creepy, it's dark, it's yada, yada, yada.
You just. God damn it.
Please, folks, just go go check his content out from from
(51:23):
content creators on our end. This Jonathan, you are the
person that we go to for comedy.You are fucking hilarious.
You were selling yourself short right now.
All right, so Mike, like some human mate tamales out there.
You are way too cheap, OK? Way too cheap and way too
delicious like. Something that Jonathan does,
(51:44):
that I want to give a shout out to is that all of these trending
videos about this is a new spooky thing that came out, or
this is an apparent skinwalker in a field or Ohio's fucked up
again. You know, like all this shit
like that. Like within an hour Jonathan has
like one of the funniest fuckingvideos I've ever seen with some
shit that 5 seconds earlier was stopping your heart, but now
(52:06):
it's stopping your heart with laughter Like he is just.
Unbelievably hilarious. And so, like, just everything
that we dream to be in terms of like delivering humor to very
dark topics like, it's fantastic.
It's it's one of those things where I feel like you have to
laugh at it, or else you're justconsumed by it.
(52:27):
I remember. Do you guys remember paranormal
activity? The first one.
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, So when that movie first
came out, you know? I I hadn't embodied nothing was
again, spooky shit quite yet because I was years ago.
But we went and watched it. Fucking terrifying.
And I remember at the end of that film they hit you with the
based on true events like right before the credits.
Fucked me up. Fucked me up so badly.
(52:50):
Go home that night, I'm in bed and I'm tossing and turning and
I happen to look down at the feet of my bed, at the foot of
my bed, and I see a silhouette of like a person, shoulders,
head and I'm like. You're not going to get me
today, motherfucker. Not today.
Just the smell of tamales came in.
The just the smell of tamales slowly wafting into my room.
Small child singing that my little so so I I stared this
(53:17):
fucking thing down for 8 hours until the sun came up.
It was my coat. It was the coat that I left on
the back of my chair. Yeah, but but like it was then
that I realized oh shit, I really am a little bitch.
Like, I'm not about to fucking deal with any of this.
The fuck is? And so no it it, and even the
Latinos Against spooky shit thing, it was accidental.
(53:38):
I wish I could say that I came up with this incredible business
model plan to like, market this.No, absolutely not.
It was one video, one take, improv, and the first thing that
came out of my mouth was LatinosAgainst Spooky shit and I.
Guess I love. It it was.
It was. Which is better than my other
viral video. My first viral video was me
(53:59):
flipping an egg, and I was like,fuck, I'm the egg guy.
God damn it. I don't want to be that guy.
So no, it's it's been a wild journey.
What's that? You better than being the Tamale
guy or the. Tamale.
Baby, listen, yeah, there's there's worse things to be known
for for sure. But no, it's it's been fun and I
(54:19):
just think some of these. Videos are so absurd and like,
people put themselves in these fucking scenarios.
And I'm like, why? Like like the one that I haven't
commented on yet, because I'm trying to find a way.
It's it's because it it fucking gives me anxiety.
It's not scary in terms of like something paranormal.
It's those fucking people that go spelunking and cave exploring
(54:41):
and they're in like 3 inches of open space and like I have to
exhale to shimmy and then they try to fucking crawl through and
I'm like, you're 6 miles beneaththe earth.
In what fucking world does that make any sense, is there?
Unless there's a pot of gold at the end of this little rainbow,
there's no good reason. The, yeah, I think one of the
(55:03):
ones I was watching today, it came out fairly recently, but
you know, it's a video of some folks going up to a cave in
Utah, right? And there was the gates.
On the outside of The Cave. And then, of course, some shit
pops up out of the shadows and you see some white eyes, like
running up on it and you were like, yo.
The fence is there. Yeah, keep shit from getting
(55:25):
out. Okay.
It's not from keeping you in. But yeah, people, self
preservation is not a thing. Yeah, No.
No, no, no, no. Like Salem, MA just made, like
the world's biggest Ouija board.Like, cool, cool, cool, cool,
cool. Yeah, 2023 is going so great so
far. Let's fucking open up this kind
of worms. Yeah, let's get those.
(55:46):
Let's get those times back. I believe that's probably the
best thing we could do. You're right.
They've they've always made great decisions in Salem, MA.
I believe that's. On historically, yeah.
Nothing's ever gone wrong. Honestly, honestly though, folks
like you, you have to check out Jonathan's page.
(56:09):
You have to check out his accounts.
It's it. You'll be giving yourself a
treat every day. Every time he's posting
something, it'll always make youlaugh.
I guarantee you. That is why we've been so
excited about bringing him on the show is like we just wanted
an excuse to share him with withy'all.
Like please, please, please please.
It takes 5 seconds. Follow the links will be in the
(56:30):
show notes. Jonathan, I don't wanna ask like
what do you, what do you have planned, what do you have coming
up? Boy, I've got a trip to Gencon
where I'm just gonna be appearing as a as a guest at a
couple different little meet andgreets with people here in
August meeting with some folks that.
Is the Jennifer Lawrence Convention.
Yes, that is where we all dress up as Jennifer Lawrence.
(56:53):
That's the con is that none of us are Jennifer Lawrence and we
I'm gonna charge you $15 for a picture.
And it's a Kodak, too. It's one of those those old wine
ones, and you get to keep it, have fun figuring out how to get
that developed. That's the other part of the
con. So we're doing that.
(57:13):
My VI should say Monsters of theWeek tabletop RPG series that
I'm a part of is still releasingepisodes.
Episode one was released a couple weeks ago.
Still going live, still going strong, so feel free to check
that out. That's in my links.
And I'm going to be part of another campaign.
For D&D coming out soon, it's actually going to be a Call of
(57:34):
Cthulhu game to be determined onannouncing cast and whatnot.
But that is about it really the only other thing, if I can hit a
milestone, if I can hit a special milestone, it's going to
be a paranormal investigation inthe works.
So. So we'll see if potentially we
(57:57):
know but but if folks if need to.
Be. I mean, we'll talk because I can
always double down. Oh yeah, we go.
There we go. I'll have my chunk and my VIX.
That's all you. Need.
Yeah, it's not even for the ghost.
I'm just going to hit the guy, follow me with the camera, Leave
him behind. Psych bitch.
(58:21):
We're detecting some static. Awesome, man.
Well. So seriously, thank you, thank
you, thank you, thank you, thankyou, thank you, thank you so
much for coming on the show. It's it's been an absolute blast
and we've been waiting and everybody here can back me up on
this. We've been waiting for weeks to
(58:42):
get you on the show. We've been super, super excited
about it. It's, it's it's been fucking
awesome. And and I do want to ask is one
last favor, please, before you go, do you mind telling our
listeners? Where they can find and follow
you just just name drop. Just drop all your pluggables,
everything at all, and they willalso be in the show notes.
(59:04):
Absolutely. And before I do that, I just
want to say thank you for havingme on.
This has been an absolute blast.I loved every second of this and
I would love to come back. This has been incredible and fun
and wild and so fucking cool. Y'all can find me Latinos
against spooky shit on every single one of my platforms.
(59:24):
Except. The Bluebird app?
That one's gonna be against spooky, because Latinos against
spooky shit is way too long to have on there.
But Twitch, Instagram, TikTok, Latinos Against spooky shit.
You guys can follow me there, keep up to date with all the
stuff coming up, and interact with me as well.
Awesome. Thank you so much man.
(59:45):
Thank you.
Popular Podcasts
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Therapy Gecko
An unlicensed lizard psychologist travels the universe talking to strangers about absolutely nothing. TO CALL THE GECKO: follow me on https://www.twitch.tv/lyleforever to get a notification for when I am taking calls. I am usually live Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays but lately a lot of other times too. I am a gecko.