November 4, 2025 • 31 mins
At just 25, Wendell French – also known by their stage name Felicia Foxx, the Aboriginal Enchantress – is a proud Kamilaroi and Dhunghutti “brotherboy, sistergirl, brista – brothersister”. They are a performer, advocate and entrepreneur using drag as a powerful tool for storytelling, self-expression and connection.
In this honest and uplifting conversation with host Mundanara Bayles, Wendell talks openly about what mental fitness means to them: grounding yourself in who you are, finding strength in vulnerability and surrounding yourself with people who lift you up.
Wendell also shares the importance of representation, and how seeing yourself reflected in culture and community can strengthen confidence and self-belief.
Resources and links
Find out more about Gotcha4Life at www.gotcha4life.org and follow us on Instagram and Facebook @gotcha4life and on Instagram @blackmagicwomanpodcast.
Follow Wednell on Instagram @iam_deadly_feliciafoxx
About the podcast
Hosted by award-winning Indigenous businesswoman and Gotcha4Life Board Member Mundanara Bayles, and produced in partnership with Black Magic Woman, Mental Fitness Conversations centres First Nations voices in powerful conversations about culture, connection and what truly sustains mental fitness.
Content note
This episode includes discussion of mental health challenges which may be confronting. Please practise self-care and reach out if you need support. Services available 24/7 include 13YARN on 13 92 76 and Lifeline on 13 11 14.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
Podcast unite our voices.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
Gotcha for Life and Black Magic Woman podcast acknowledges the
traditional owners of the land which we recorded this episode.
We also acknowledge the traditional owners of the land from
where you, the listener or viewer are tuning in. We
would like to pay our respects to elders both past
and present. We acknowledge that this land always was and
always will be Aboriginal land. This podcast talks about mental health, suicide,
(00:33):
and lived experience. If that brings anything up for you,
please take care while listening and remember you don't need
to worry alone. Welcome to Mental Fitness Conversations, a podcast
about how real people build their mental fitness through connection, community,
and simple everyday actions. Brought to you by Gotcha for
Life in partnership with Black Magic Woman. Here's your host,
(00:56):
Monda and Narrabels.
Speaker 3 (00:59):
Welcome to this amazing episode which is part of the
Gotcha for Life and Black Magic Women Mental Fitness Conversations.
It's a partnership with an amazing foundation that's doing some
incredible work out in the community, especially when it comes
to primary school children about building mental fitness. Now, what
(01:20):
does that mean? We're going to have this deadly Yarn
with my guests on the show today. He probably already
recognized and if you don't, then Felicia Fox aka Wendell French,
we would love for you to introduce yourself to our audience.
Speaker 1 (01:37):
Who are you, where do you come from? Who's your mob?
Speaker 4 (01:40):
Yama.
Speaker 5 (01:41):
My name is Wendell French aka Felicia Fox, the aboriginally enchantress.
I spoke a realistic of Sydney. I am originally from Campbelltown,
born and bred, but my mob ar Kimilori and dung
Guddy and now I grew up adding Campbelltown. I started
my drag career at the age of fifteen, and I
started my career to inspire other young, indenous youth who
(02:02):
wanted to participate in the art of drag. And you know,
being a drag queen, I have the duality of having
my math self and my feminine self, so you know,
just getting out their truth telling and being myself. But yeah,
watch this space because Folici of Fox got some big,
deadly things on the horizon.
Speaker 3 (02:19):
Well watch your space just to have you part of
this important conversation, especially with like you said, at fifteen,
you went into drag, you knew that this is what
you wanted to do, that you knew who you wanted
to be. Yeah, and at what cost for you to
be your true authentic self? Did you lose family? Did
(02:41):
you lose respect from your community?
Speaker 1 (02:42):
Did your family? Did your mum and dad embrace you?
Speaker 3 (02:45):
Like?
Speaker 5 (02:45):
What?
Speaker 3 (02:46):
Did it come at a cost in that way in
terms of relationships and respect?
Speaker 4 (02:49):
I think definitely. Because I dropped out of school very early.
Speaker 5 (02:52):
I lost a lot of friends once I did come
out in school, once I said that, you know, I
am a gay man. I lost a lot of my
guy friends that thought maybe I wanted to be with them,
but it was like, no, I'm a gay man, and
just because I'm gay doesn't mean I'm attracted to every
other day that comes into my vicinity. But you know,
in terms of my drag, I lost a lot of
(03:12):
I guess family that were never really supportive and that
have always been homophobic and still just ignorant but very
uneducated around why I participate in the art of drag
and utilize my platform in drag to you know, smash
these stigmas and break down these barriers that our mob
have been trying to overcome for many, many years.
Speaker 3 (03:30):
And this conversation is so important to not just First Nations,
our mob, but to all peoples from all walks of
life that haven't yet been able to really just live
their life on their terms. And that's what I love
about you when I see you out there representing your people,
your community, our culture. You just deal it with so
(03:53):
much pride, so much passion. Our families and our community
mean a lot to us. And some of the stigma
and prejudices that you've expec experienced, I'm sure that has
taken a ton on your mental health, you.
Speaker 5 (04:07):
Know, one hundred thousand percent, and you know after you know,
we're talking about it before the what I wore this
year for Mary with the Sydney Martygraph Parade, and the
theme was free to be so to me and the
way I interpreted it, I am a proud gay Aboriginal
man who participates in the art of drag, but this
year for my outfit, I wanted to strip back all
the layers of makeup that I would normally put on,
(04:28):
the wigs and everything, and the only thing that I
had on my body that I dorned myself that was
real gay were my thigh high pleaser with my stripper Hills,
and you know, I went and did my cultural protocols.
I went and made sure I spoke to my uncle
Raymond Weatherall. He's a proud Gid Mallory man, and you know,
I asked him how I should have painted myself. And
the ochre was actually it came from the Barwin River
(04:50):
and the nahw and so it was it was so
much more detrimental to me, and it meant so much
more knowing that it came from my actual hometown up
in Wolgot. And you know a lot of the mob
that were going against me and didn't like what I
was wearing, and they were saying that I was sexualizing
our culture. And there are a lot of other negative
things that were out there in the media, and you know,
(05:12):
at the end of the day, I think it took
away from what message I really wanted to portray. Because
you can be a proud gay Aboriginal man, and you
can whether you're a drag queen, whether you're a singer,
whatever else, whatever art you're in, whatever industry you're in,
you can, you know, you can merge the two and
it makes your message so much more powerful. And you know,
when I walked that parade. I thought it was the
(05:33):
most proudest moment when I wore the Aboriginal sequin flag dress.
But I'm tearing up now, but that was the probably
one of the best ever, mighty great outfits I have
ever ever worn. And I just hope that you know
a younger little black fellow or any other little quick
person out there, whether they're black, purple, don't matter what race.
I hope they just saw someone who was in their
art form, but also you know, having their culture there
(05:58):
as well.
Speaker 3 (05:58):
They're strong in culture. Yeah, yeah, and there's no shame
in being in being both. However you want to express
yourself to not be shame about it or not see
it as I don't want to upset my family or
my community. And like you said, you spoke to your
elders and the significance of that okah from your own river,
(06:21):
from your community that wasn't spoken about, you know what
I mean, those other elements that was part of your
outfit with your lap blap and you went out there
and for you had the best time of your life
according to the theme as well, like it was aligned
to the theme and you weren't exactly I don't know
(06:44):
you didn't really get the community's approval to be who
you are. And that's really interesting, isn't it. We are
navigating life, we are navigating the Western world and the
Aberiginal world, and we're told to be our true, authentic
selves or to bring our full selves to work.
Speaker 1 (07:04):
Yeah, but then if you.
Speaker 3 (07:06):
Want to do something that you know that that's not
the social norm, then you're quickly kind of canceled. How
did you or who did you speak to? Like, how
did you navigate those moments when you're on your own
reading some of those negative comments.
Speaker 5 (07:24):
You know, I'm very grateful to have a drag family.
I've got five sisters in the house and a drag mum.
But you know that's one of my main support circles
that I go to lean back on. You know, being
in the media as a drag queen, I'm constantly spoken about,
and especially after Mardi Gras, I would look up my
phone and my phone was just blowing up. I was
(07:44):
in all these different articles and it was all negative.
There was not one positive article that I've seen. But
you know, being in the drag industry for all eleven
years this year, that's crazy to saying only turned twenty five.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
To day, Oh, happy birthday, Thank you.
Speaker 5 (08:01):
One of the biggest things I've learned to navigate through
social media being a drag queen is by not looking
for the negative comments and not diving into all the
negativity that's spoken about. And before I used through the
person that would fight the negative negative comments back at him,
and then I'd be drained. And then you know, when
I had my next gig or had to go do
(08:22):
an appearance out in the community, I just I felt
drained and I felt defeated. When now I'm investing all
my energy and everything back into you know, keeping everything
positive and using my platform for the right reasons and
not you know, fighting hate with hate, because at the
end of the day, you can't have no resolution or
(08:42):
any positive outcome by fighting hate with hate.
Speaker 3 (08:45):
I agree with you, and I tend to, you know,
I try not to look at the comments when it
comes to any black fillo in the media. And I'll
use an example little Quaid and Malona few quite about
still today, if you see a positive post about him
appearing on a red carpet because he's in a film
or whatever, you look at the comments and it is
(09:06):
ninety five percent negative and it's bullying and it's mainly
adults bullying.
Speaker 1 (09:12):
A fifteen year old kid.
Speaker 3 (09:13):
So how do you then kind of, I don't know,
not protect yourself, but how do you kind of support yourself? Like,
do do you ring people? Do you talk to people?
Have you found yourself engaging with? I know one three
yarn has been a you know, some of the guests
on this show have had no shame in saying I've
(09:35):
rang that number so many times to talk to a
black fellow, because only black fellows could really relate to
what we're going through. Who's the people you reach out
to other than that your drag queen, the drag family.
Speaker 5 (09:48):
I know, I go to a counselor. I've been seeing
a counselor for the last four months. And you know,
before I started seeing this counselor, shopping around like mad,
couldn't find a good one that I actually connected with,
and one that actually sat there and you know, not
just sat there as a pair of ears. He's actually
been guiding me. He's a white gay fella and I'm
(10:08):
a quick black fellow. So I've found a really good counselor.
But just the conversations that I do have are very
instrumental to my life. But I'm going through like right now,
and I don't think if I was seeing this counselor.
I think, you know, I was going through a break
up a couple of weeks ago, and I was in
a very dark, depressed place. You know, I lost fifteen
kilos and you know, literally I probably called my counselor
(10:29):
about two three times a day the other week and
just sitting in my room depressed, and you know, and
I found power and strength in speaking to that counselor
in you know, admitting to myself that I was going
back into a depression just by looking at the state
of my room and you know, my mental state. So
you know, it was very vital that you do have
a counselor or someone that you feel very safe and
(10:51):
comfortable with to talk to about all your problems and issues.
Speaker 3 (10:55):
And I think that's a really important message for anyone
listening to this conversation about speaking to someone or if
you're noticing, you know, some of your own kind of
habits of slipping back into depression or feeling low on energy,
feeling like you can't you know, get out and face
(11:17):
the world. But you start to it's it's sometimes you
don't notice that you're slipping back into depression. Other people
might say, hey, what's going on something, might recognize that.
But it's also really good that you've gotten to a
point where you know when you're not feeling okay.
Speaker 4 (11:36):
Yeah, one hundred percent.
Speaker 5 (11:37):
Like the first indicator for me of marsline going back
into depression was my room. Like I'd wake up every morning,
clean my make my bed, My room was always spicking speed.
Speaker 1 (11:45):
It's routine, right yeah.
Speaker 5 (11:46):
And then once I scene like myself dropping out of
that routine and wasn't doing all the things that I
would normally do going for my runs of a morning
time would wake up at four point thirty go for
my sixteen kilometer run. But you know, I've stopped doing that,
and I've only just started to do that again. It
was just like I neglected myself whilst I was coming
that relationship in depression. But now the only person that
(12:06):
matters is me, So you know, I'm rewarding myself by
going to see your counselor. And that's probably one of
the most rewarding things that I've done since the breakup,
and just speaking and putting all my issues out there
on the table.
Speaker 1 (12:16):
I love it.
Speaker 3 (12:17):
I love it, and then finding other opportunities to fill
your cup. What are you doing with your life at
the moment, Tell me about what keeps you busy.
Speaker 4 (12:26):
I've just launched a new company.
Speaker 5 (12:28):
It's called Rainbow Emu Entertainment and I have a lineup
roster of eight other drag queens that I manage now.
And you know, our mission statement is to go around
to all these venues in Sydney, especially Oxford Street, and
have these places become predominantly black spaces, especially when it
comes to their entertainment. You can go down Oxford Street
now and there's not one Aboriginal drag queen that has
(12:50):
a home venue down there. So our goal is to
make sure that we are supportive of the younger drag
queens that are up and coming. We've just got a
deadly partnership with crial On at the makeup shop. But
you know, when I first started Dragon, I'd never had
no support. I never had you know, the financial stability,
I never had good people around me, and I was,
you know, sub abusing substances back then. So now all
(13:14):
I can do with the platform that I've created for
myself is looking out for these other younger people who
want to come up and do what I'm doing. And
all I can do is, you know, put my hands
out there and say I'm here and to supporting a
systudent anyway that you need.
Speaker 3 (13:26):
Do you find people reaching out dm exciting into your
dms in a positive way?
Speaker 4 (13:30):
Yes, in a very positive way.
Speaker 1 (13:33):
And like younger people reaching out to you.
Speaker 4 (13:35):
A lot of younger people.
Speaker 5 (13:36):
And you know, I just got booked for a youth
show in Calgooley, look never Calhooley before, So I'm excited
for that.
Speaker 4 (13:43):
And yeah, going to do a big youth show down there.
Speaker 3 (13:46):
Because there are a lot of brother boys and sister
girls in our community.
Speaker 1 (13:49):
Yeah, and when.
Speaker 3 (13:51):
We even look at some of the suicide rates amongst
our mob, which we know, you know, the worst in
the world, especially when it comes to young Aboriginal people,
but even in the you know, the LGBTQ plus community,
those rates are higher. Again, so being black, being queer,
(14:11):
and even being a young person, there's all these odds
stacked up against you and us as a people. How
do we shift people's mentalities, How do we really kind
of change people's perceptions to them be more accepting of
all of us, no matter who we are and how
(14:34):
we identify. What do you think when what's some of
the I don't know some of your words of wisdom
that people that are listening to this podcast could learn
from from your experience.
Speaker 5 (14:46):
I think it comes down to each individual at the
end of the day. Once you do that groundwork with
yourself and you're grounded in your own identity, then you know,
I used to be a very judgmental person, you know.
I would see someone walking down the street and the
look like a real book and I'm like, they look there.
But you know, I've stopped that over the years because
I realized, you don't what anybody else is going through
in their life to judge them or you know, if
(15:07):
someone has a different appearance, or if they're trends or
whatever else, who cares. And at the end of the day,
if you're grounded in yourself and your identity and you
know who you are, that leaves no time and space
in your head to go and judge a person for
them being, you know, sterning their identity or who they are.
So to each individual out there, yeah, do your own
groundwork on yourself and make sure that you love yourself
(15:28):
and the world will be a better place because then
we have no time for judgment, judgment and hate and negativity.
Speaker 3 (15:35):
And talking about being grounded in your in your in
your identity, how has your culture supported you and your
journey of just being who you are?
Speaker 5 (15:48):
I think my culture has definitely grounded me a lot
more than anything else in my world. And having my culture,
knowing where I come from and knowing my mob and
my my song lines and my storylines, it's the most
grounding thing ever and it makes me the strong, empowered
gay Aboriginal men that I am. And there's no way
(16:08):
that Felicia Fox would even exist if Wendell French didn't
have my culture, and you know, having that duality of
my culture and my queenness and my sexual identity, my
sexual identity wouldn't be as strength and if it wasn't
for my culture. And I am the empowered being that
I am today because of my culture.
Speaker 3 (16:29):
And this is what we need to do. We need
to try and empower other mob who haven't yet found
you know, the strength or the courage to be able
to speak up openly without judgment. You know, That's that's
what I find a lot in our community that a
lot of the younger people coming through are still trying
(16:49):
to find, you know, who they can gravitate to, who's
their community, who can they trust, who can they rely on?
And you know, we need to be a little bit
more open minded. And I think just as a society
that we're not as accepting an open minded when it
comes to people who are not like us. And what
(17:10):
is the perfect your normal person meant.
Speaker 1 (17:12):
To look like? Right?
Speaker 4 (17:13):
No such thing as a normal there.
Speaker 3 (17:14):
Is no you know, we are all our unique selves
and we should all you know, it's like a human
right when you think about it, you know, to be
who you are and to reach your full potential in
this life. Yeah, what would you say to a lot
of the younger mob that are listening that want to
(17:36):
be just like you?
Speaker 1 (17:37):
What would you say to them?
Speaker 5 (17:39):
You know what, You're going to have a lot of
mixed thoughts and mixed things coming through your head, and
you're going to question whether you're this and that, you
know what, Embrace whatever you're feeling in the moment and.
Speaker 4 (17:49):
Be who you are.
Speaker 5 (17:50):
Wear that piece of piece of clothing where that you know,
access thory, wear that big fur coat down the street,
just to go get some bread and milk, do whatever,
you know. And it's literally that saying you only live once.
It would be so shit to die tomorrow and to
be like I could have done this, I could have
done that, and I could have just been myself in life.
So and it shows, you know, when you see someone
(18:10):
walking down the street and they're feeling that confidence and
they've got that, you can tell they are confident. Yeah,
you know, just embrace every bit of yourself and never
be scared or fearful of change, and just embrace the
change that comes.
Speaker 3 (18:23):
You know.
Speaker 5 (18:24):
I never woke up one day and just became Felicia Fox.
You know, it took me a long time. And I'm
still finding the duality between my feminity and my masculinity,
and I embrace both every single day, like Tonada.
Speaker 4 (18:36):
Being a crop top. But I look like a big bloke.
Speaker 1 (18:38):
Here now and there's nothing wrong with that.
Speaker 4 (18:41):
Nothing wrong at all.
Speaker 5 (18:42):
I'm going to get my pedicure tomorrow and menicula and
just you know, embrace it. And there's no way, there's
no right or wrong way to live life as long
as you're a true, genuine person and you're living true
and authentically to yourself. Then that's all that matters at
the end of the day, and you will watch all
the positivity of all the positive people come around you
and culminate to you because it vibrates off you. When
(19:06):
you're confident and you're positive and you're just doing.
Speaker 1 (19:10):
You, people just are drawn to that energy round two percent.
Speaker 4 (19:13):
Yeah, it's magnetic.
Speaker 3 (19:14):
I was just going to say in terms of like
gotcha for life. Our mission is around you know, imagining
our world without sil science. We talk about building our
village so that nobody ever has to worry alone.
Speaker 1 (19:31):
What does mental fitness mean to you?
Speaker 5 (19:33):
Mental fitness to me means suppose they get mentally working
your brain out, so you know, when you are in
those times of distress, when you are in a depression
or whatever you're going through and you feel alone, the
things that you do for your mind to keep away
from those things. Like I started journaling and didn't think
I'd ever start to journal. That's, you know, mental fitness
(19:55):
to me when I start to journal and I literally
document throughout the day what I have to do, and
that just makes my day so much better. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (20:03):
Clease your mind, you're focused, it outcomes driven. You got structure,
you've got your routine. I've been told a lot that
it's cathartic to write what you're thinking right what you're feeling.
I've got a really good friend of mine and I
love her, Maria Wamba.
Speaker 1 (20:18):
I call it my womber sister.
Speaker 3 (20:20):
Because she's got this amazing energy that I don't always
have and just seems to be so uplifting and positive
and happy and just this amazing person to be around.
Speaker 4 (20:32):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (20:33):
Right, So it's like.
Speaker 3 (20:34):
That the people you have around you should bring out
the best in you as well. So who is it
around you that you feel brings the best out in you?
Speaker 4 (20:44):
I'd definitely say my drag family.
Speaker 5 (20:47):
You know, no matter what I'm going through in my life,
and my drag family is around, they uplift me and
they support me, and they empower me to feel back
on top of the world again and they never ever
make me feel shit.
Speaker 3 (21:00):
Is that important, Hay to find your people in the world,
to find the place where you feel that you belong
instead of feeling like you don't belong, you don't fit in.
And I'm sure you've felt that many times.
Speaker 5 (21:13):
And you know, when I'm in drag, I think that's
another one of my big empowering things when I'm out
in community doing community work. And you know, I love
when I go to gigs and it's community gigs and
all the mob were coming up to me, axing for
photos and it's like, this is how I know I've made.
Speaker 4 (21:26):
You know, a good platform. I've got mob coming up.
Speaker 5 (21:28):
To me left, right and center, acting for photos and
wanted to have conversations.
Speaker 4 (21:31):
And that's what I love about my job.
Speaker 5 (21:33):
You know, I'd rather be booked at a community event
than that some little gaming club on Oxford Street.
Speaker 1 (21:37):
Yes.
Speaker 3 (21:37):
Community, We do everything for our community. It drives us.
What's been one of your highlights? If you think about
your career so fun, You're only got twenty five.
Speaker 5 (21:46):
Twenty five, yeah, so young.
Speaker 1 (21:49):
Still go a long way to go.
Speaker 4 (21:50):
A long long way.
Speaker 3 (21:51):
But talk is what's some of your highlights? What do
you what are you most proud of some of your achievements.
Speaker 5 (21:57):
I think one of the biggest things I've ever done
in my career was walk out a stream and Fashion
Week as my drag persona, and that was the first
that was ever done.
Speaker 1 (22:05):
And talk about breaking down barriers.
Speaker 5 (22:07):
Yeah, And the next morning woke up and I was
published in Vogue.
Speaker 4 (22:10):
It was like, get out of here.
Speaker 1 (22:11):
Start what he've been in Vogue?
Speaker 5 (22:13):
Vogue, Harpers clear a few Oh my gosh.
Speaker 3 (22:18):
All right, so you're making you're making covers and you're
in magazine.
Speaker 4 (22:22):
Adahle Centerfold and Harpers. How crazy is that?
Speaker 3 (22:25):
Oh mge what was an experience like for a lot
of us?
Speaker 5 (22:29):
Just I have all the articles and clippings on my
war at home because that will forever be a proud
moment because I've never in my life seen any representation
of someone like me in the media growing up, a
gay Aboriginal man that was participating in the art of drag.
I never got to you know, I was on that
campaign We are warriors and to see it, you have
to see it to be it.
Speaker 4 (22:47):
And that's probably the.
Speaker 5 (22:49):
Proudest moments that I've ever done, because I hope that
there are heaps of other little, younger queer follows out
there that need to see that to be like, oh
that's literally who what that's me?
Speaker 4 (23:00):
I can do that. I can be that.
Speaker 5 (23:02):
And you know, the narrative alway written that we would
never accepted in these places, or we couldn't progress to
these places. We're only ever supposed to be in nightclubs
and pubs and whatever else doing drag, but you know,
it was like, I've pushed for my drag to be
at Australian Fashion Week runway and.
Speaker 1 (23:18):
I was there with you. I've got to see you,
hang out with you.
Speaker 3 (23:22):
There's obviously there's positives of that attention, but there's also
a lot of the negatives. And you did speak about
it earlier with Marti Grass in particular that the app
that you chose to kind of align with the theme,
a lot of the community didn't approve of that. At Gotcha,
We've got this amazing app that's very new and it's
(23:43):
a mental fitness gym.
Speaker 1 (23:45):
So I downloaded the.
Speaker 3 (23:46):
App right and I put in my age and my
female and how I'm feeling. So it kind of builds
a bit of a profile for you.
Speaker 1 (23:56):
And every day I get a.
Speaker 3 (23:57):
Notification and you can send messages to people anonymous. He
could just say be your best self today, or whatever inspirational,
motivational message that you want someone to hear. I think
it's amazing that I get to check into this app,
don't know who that person is sending me a message,
and now I'm sending a message and I don't know
(24:18):
who's going to get that, but I hope it reaches
that person in that right moment that they can just
pick up a phone now and connect.
Speaker 1 (24:27):
We've also got one three yarm.
Speaker 3 (24:29):
We've got support services and resources at our fingertips that
weren't ever available. Are there any other organizations or places
that you've been able to seek support, whether it's to
support you with your mental health or whether it's to
support you with anything with health wellness? Just so people
(24:53):
know that these services exist and if we don't know
about them, then people are not going to use them, right.
Speaker 5 (24:59):
I think Odyssey House if you're out there looking for
a good counselor, Odissey House offer free concer and you
know they have a wide range of counselors there. But
just the team that I have there, I just absolutely
amazing have supported me through what I've been going through
the last couple months. And yeah, so if you're looking
for a good counselor, definitely obviously how I syep them up.
Speaker 3 (25:17):
And we're talking about culturally appropriate services as well for
our mob come highly recommended by you. I love this
and this is what we need to do. We need
to let people know that there are services out there
that might not be community controlled averagal organizations. There are
other organizations out there that are doing pretty deadly work.
(25:38):
So Odyssey House, we'll make sure we've got that in
our show notes. I've got this really kind of personal
question I want to ask you, yeah, is if you
could go back to your thirteen year old self, what
would you say to Wendel.
Speaker 5 (25:54):
I'd say, You've got a rough road ahead. It's going
to be a trials and tribulation. You know there's going
to be hurdles, but you're going to overcome them. Get
a little of shitty people out there in this world
that are going to say negative things about you and
(26:14):
put you down.
Speaker 4 (26:15):
You don't take that in.
Speaker 5 (26:17):
And I know that that little fire and that spark
inside you is because you are going to be a
fucking star and you were born to be a star.
You were put on this earth for a reason. And
embrace every single day and delive it to the fullest
and know that you are a little black bouodoo and
be so fucking proud of yourself.
Speaker 3 (26:36):
Power to you and much loving to you to keep
showing up because you could have turned your back with
all of the negativity that's come at you and you
probably will still face as you keep pushing through and
killing it, killing it in life with your your adventure.
I just want to say congratulations on starting.
Speaker 1 (26:57):
Your own business.
Speaker 4 (26:58):
Thank you so much.
Speaker 1 (26:59):
It's not easy, but I'm here.
Speaker 3 (27:02):
There's a lot of us in busines and has a
lot of black fellows that started with nothing, have come
from nothing and have built empires, have been able to
create intergenerational wealth for our families and communities and also
in that process breaking the cycle of intergenerational trauma. You know,
this trauma is two hundred and fifty years old. Our
(27:24):
people are much older than that, our culture is much
older than that. So this strength based approach to having
these conversations around mental fitness, around building your village, I
just can't say thank you. I'm so grateful that you've
been able to loan your voice to support Black Magic
Woman and got you for life with this partnership series
(27:46):
around building mental fitness, so that all of our mob
just have the support they need, have the resources, have
the tools to be able to speak up, to be
able to call one three yarn or even to check
into an app that got you for life has just launched.
So if there's any word of wisdom, are any last
kind of you know, kind of words of even inspiration,
(28:10):
what do you want to leave people with last?
Speaker 5 (28:13):
You kind of to go out to any of the mob.
You know, whether you're black, white, doesn't matter what color
or age. If you are going through anything, you know
you do have mob.
Speaker 4 (28:20):
You do have community.
Speaker 5 (28:21):
Make sure you lean on them in those times, you know,
because like we're having right now, we're sitting here just
having a conversation. That's all that is literally needed. And
having a cry and having a cry, letting those emotions out.
And it's okay to feel that the way you're feeling
and then put yourself for feeling down that and feeling
that way. It's all right to feel that way. It's
only human.
Speaker 3 (28:38):
Well, it is your birthday. Enjoy this special day.
Speaker 5 (28:42):
Thank you for having me, and yes they saved all
the while out there, and make sure you reach out
when you need to reach.
Speaker 1 (28:47):
Out too deadly, Well are you mob?
Speaker 3 (28:50):
Through the tears, the laughter, the joy, This is just
who we are. And I love the fact that we
can just talk freely and not hold back because we're
human at the end of the day. This has been
an amazing opportunity for me to open the gate to
our communities, to let more people in. We'll give them
an insight into who we are and the lives that
(29:12):
we'll live, and that we are pretty much just like
everyone else. Sometimes, yeah, we kind of push to the
side or we're in the background, and now we need
to kind of be in the driver's seat. You know,
we need to be the ones that are telling our
stories on our terms. So thank you for being part
(29:33):
of this amazing partnership. We've got you for life.
Speaker 4 (29:36):
Thank you for having me.
Speaker 3 (29:37):
And tell you mob, I know you would have enjoyed
this Deadly Yarn. If you haven't been able to hear
any of the other episodes, you need to subscribe wherever
you get your podcasts from. If you go the iHeart app,
it's free. But you can listen to The Black Magic
Woman wherever get your podcast from, or even on YouTube,
and you can watch us yarn in person. So yeah,
(29:59):
go rate it, review it, share the love, share this podcast,
and tune in for the next episode of this amazing
mental Fitness Conversations.
Speaker 2 (30:09):
Bye for now, Thanks for tuning in to Mental Fitness Conversations.
Keep building your emotional muscles with the free Mental Fitness
Gym app packed with tools, tips and everyday actions to
support your mental fitness. Download it from the App Store
or Google play Store or visit the Mentalfitnessgym dot org.
(30:29):
If anything in this episode brought something up for you, you
don't have to worry alone. Reach out to a trusted
friend or family member and know that support is available.
You can contact Lifeline on one three, double one, one
four or one three yarn at one three nine two
seven six for free and confidential support for Aboriginal and
Torrostrad Islander people. If you enjoyed this episode, leave us
(30:53):
a rating, share it with someone in your village, or
drop us a message. We'd love to hear what you think,
and don't forget to follow Black Magic Woman and Gotcha
for Life on all socials to keep the conversation ation
going
Podcast unite our voices.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
Gotcha for Life and Black Magic Woman podcast acknowledges the
traditional owners of the land which we recorded this episode.
We also acknowledge the traditional owners of the land from
where you, the listener or viewer are tuning in. We
would like to pay our respects to elders both past
and present. We acknowledge that this land always was and
always will be Aboriginal land. This podcast talks about mental health, suicide,
(00:33):
and lived experience. If that brings anything up for you,
please take care while listening and remember you don't need
to worry alone. Welcome to Mental Fitness Conversations, a podcast
about how real people build their mental fitness through connection, community,
and simple everyday actions. Brought to you by Gotcha for
Life in partnership with Black Magic Woman. Here's your host,
(00:56):
Monda and Narrabels.
Speaker 3 (00:59):
Welcome to this amazing episode which is part of the
Gotcha for Life and Black Magic Women Mental Fitness Conversations.
It's a partnership with an amazing foundation that's doing some
incredible work out in the community, especially when it comes
to primary school children about building mental fitness. Now, what
(01:20):
does that mean? We're going to have this deadly Yarn
with my guests on the show today. He probably already
recognized and if you don't, then Felicia Fox aka Wendell French,
we would love for you to introduce yourself to our audience.
Speaker 1 (01:37):
Who are you, where do you come from? Who's your mob?
Speaker 4 (01:40):
Yama.
Speaker 5 (01:41):
My name is Wendell French aka Felicia Fox, the aboriginally enchantress.
I spoke a realistic of Sydney. I am originally from Campbelltown,
born and bred, but my mob ar Kimilori and dung
Guddy and now I grew up adding Campbelltown. I started
my drag career at the age of fifteen, and I
started my career to inspire other young, indenous youth who
(02:02):
wanted to participate in the art of drag. And you know,
being a drag queen, I have the duality of having
my math self and my feminine self, so you know,
just getting out their truth telling and being myself. But yeah,
watch this space because Folici of Fox got some big,
deadly things on the horizon.
Speaker 3 (02:19):
Well watch your space just to have you part of
this important conversation, especially with like you said, at fifteen,
you went into drag, you knew that this is what
you wanted to do, that you knew who you wanted
to be. Yeah, and at what cost for you to
be your true authentic self? Did you lose family? Did
(02:41):
you lose respect from your community?
Speaker 1 (02:42):
Did your family? Did your mum and dad embrace you?
Speaker 3 (02:45):
Like?
Speaker 5 (02:45):
What?
Speaker 3 (02:46):
Did it come at a cost in that way in
terms of relationships and respect?
Speaker 4 (02:49):
I think definitely. Because I dropped out of school very early.
Speaker 5 (02:52):
I lost a lot of friends once I did come
out in school, once I said that, you know, I
am a gay man. I lost a lot of my
guy friends that thought maybe I wanted to be with them,
but it was like, no, I'm a gay man, and
just because I'm gay doesn't mean I'm attracted to every
other day that comes into my vicinity. But you know,
in terms of my drag, I lost a lot of
(03:12):
I guess family that were never really supportive and that
have always been homophobic and still just ignorant but very
uneducated around why I participate in the art of drag
and utilize my platform in drag to you know, smash
these stigmas and break down these barriers that our mob
have been trying to overcome for many, many years.
Speaker 3 (03:30):
And this conversation is so important to not just First Nations,
our mob, but to all peoples from all walks of
life that haven't yet been able to really just live
their life on their terms. And that's what I love
about you when I see you out there representing your people,
your community, our culture. You just deal it with so
(03:53):
much pride, so much passion. Our families and our community
mean a lot to us. And some of the stigma
and prejudices that you've expec experienced, I'm sure that has
taken a ton on your mental health, you.
Speaker 5 (04:07):
Know, one hundred thousand percent, and you know after you know,
we're talking about it before the what I wore this
year for Mary with the Sydney Martygraph Parade, and the
theme was free to be so to me and the
way I interpreted it, I am a proud gay Aboriginal
man who participates in the art of drag, but this
year for my outfit, I wanted to strip back all
the layers of makeup that I would normally put on,
(04:28):
the wigs and everything, and the only thing that I
had on my body that I dorned myself that was
real gay were my thigh high pleaser with my stripper Hills,
and you know, I went and did my cultural protocols.
I went and made sure I spoke to my uncle
Raymond Weatherall. He's a proud Gid Mallory man, and you know,
I asked him how I should have painted myself. And
the ochre was actually it came from the Barwin River
(04:50):
and the nahw and so it was it was so
much more detrimental to me, and it meant so much
more knowing that it came from my actual hometown up
in Wolgot. And you know a lot of the mob
that were going against me and didn't like what I
was wearing, and they were saying that I was sexualizing
our culture. And there are a lot of other negative
things that were out there in the media, and you know,
(05:12):
at the end of the day, I think it took
away from what message I really wanted to portray. Because
you can be a proud gay Aboriginal man, and you
can whether you're a drag queen, whether you're a singer,
whatever else, whatever art you're in, whatever industry you're in,
you can, you know, you can merge the two and
it makes your message so much more powerful. And you know,
when I walked that parade. I thought it was the
(05:33):
most proudest moment when I wore the Aboriginal sequin flag dress.
But I'm tearing up now, but that was the probably
one of the best ever, mighty great outfits I have
ever ever worn. And I just hope that you know
a younger little black fellow or any other little quick
person out there, whether they're black, purple, don't matter what race.
I hope they just saw someone who was in their
art form, but also you know, having their culture there
(05:58):
as well.
Speaker 3 (05:58):
They're strong in culture. Yeah, yeah, and there's no shame
in being in being both. However you want to express
yourself to not be shame about it or not see
it as I don't want to upset my family or
my community. And like you said, you spoke to your
elders and the significance of that okah from your own river,
(06:21):
from your community that wasn't spoken about, you know what
I mean, those other elements that was part of your
outfit with your lap blap and you went out there
and for you had the best time of your life
according to the theme as well, like it was aligned
to the theme and you weren't exactly I don't know
(06:44):
you didn't really get the community's approval to be who
you are. And that's really interesting, isn't it. We are
navigating life, we are navigating the Western world and the
Aberiginal world, and we're told to be our true, authentic
selves or to bring our full selves to work.
Speaker 1 (07:04):
Yeah, but then if you.
Speaker 3 (07:06):
Want to do something that you know that that's not
the social norm, then you're quickly kind of canceled. How
did you or who did you speak to? Like, how
did you navigate those moments when you're on your own
reading some of those negative comments.
Speaker 5 (07:24):
You know, I'm very grateful to have a drag family.
I've got five sisters in the house and a drag mum.
But you know that's one of my main support circles
that I go to lean back on. You know, being
in the media as a drag queen, I'm constantly spoken about,
and especially after Mardi Gras, I would look up my
phone and my phone was just blowing up. I was
(07:44):
in all these different articles and it was all negative.
There was not one positive article that I've seen. But
you know, being in the drag industry for all eleven
years this year, that's crazy to saying only turned twenty five.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
To day, Oh, happy birthday, Thank you.
Speaker 5 (08:01):
One of the biggest things I've learned to navigate through
social media being a drag queen is by not looking
for the negative comments and not diving into all the
negativity that's spoken about. And before I used through the
person that would fight the negative negative comments back at him,
and then I'd be drained. And then you know, when
I had my next gig or had to go do
(08:22):
an appearance out in the community, I just I felt
drained and I felt defeated. When now I'm investing all
my energy and everything back into you know, keeping everything
positive and using my platform for the right reasons and
not you know, fighting hate with hate, because at the
end of the day, you can't have no resolution or
(08:42):
any positive outcome by fighting hate with hate.
Speaker 3 (08:45):
I agree with you, and I tend to, you know,
I try not to look at the comments when it
comes to any black fillo in the media. And I'll
use an example little Quaid and Malona few quite about
still today, if you see a positive post about him
appearing on a red carpet because he's in a film
or whatever, you look at the comments and it is
(09:06):
ninety five percent negative and it's bullying and it's mainly
adults bullying.
Speaker 1 (09:12):
A fifteen year old kid.
Speaker 3 (09:13):
So how do you then kind of, I don't know,
not protect yourself, but how do you kind of support yourself? Like,
do do you ring people? Do you talk to people?
Have you found yourself engaging with? I know one three
yarn has been a you know, some of the guests
on this show have had no shame in saying I've
(09:35):
rang that number so many times to talk to a
black fellow, because only black fellows could really relate to
what we're going through. Who's the people you reach out
to other than that your drag queen, the drag family.
Speaker 5 (09:48):
I know, I go to a counselor. I've been seeing
a counselor for the last four months. And you know,
before I started seeing this counselor, shopping around like mad,
couldn't find a good one that I actually connected with,
and one that actually sat there and you know, not
just sat there as a pair of ears. He's actually
been guiding me. He's a white gay fella and I'm
(10:08):
a quick black fellow. So I've found a really good counselor.
But just the conversations that I do have are very
instrumental to my life. But I'm going through like right now,
and I don't think if I was seeing this counselor.
I think, you know, I was going through a break
up a couple of weeks ago, and I was in
a very dark, depressed place. You know, I lost fifteen
kilos and you know, literally I probably called my counselor
(10:29):
about two three times a day the other week and
just sitting in my room depressed, and you know, and
I found power and strength in speaking to that counselor
in you know, admitting to myself that I was going
back into a depression just by looking at the state
of my room and you know, my mental state. So
you know, it was very vital that you do have
a counselor or someone that you feel very safe and
(10:51):
comfortable with to talk to about all your problems and issues.
Speaker 3 (10:55):
And I think that's a really important message for anyone
listening to this conversation about speaking to someone or if
you're noticing, you know, some of your own kind of
habits of slipping back into depression or feeling low on energy,
feeling like you can't you know, get out and face
(11:17):
the world. But you start to it's it's sometimes you
don't notice that you're slipping back into depression. Other people
might say, hey, what's going on something, might recognize that.
But it's also really good that you've gotten to a
point where you know when you're not feeling okay.
Speaker 4 (11:36):
Yeah, one hundred percent.
Speaker 5 (11:37):
Like the first indicator for me of marsline going back
into depression was my room. Like I'd wake up every morning,
clean my make my bed, My room was always spicking speed.
Speaker 1 (11:45):
It's routine, right yeah.
Speaker 5 (11:46):
And then once I scene like myself dropping out of
that routine and wasn't doing all the things that I
would normally do going for my runs of a morning
time would wake up at four point thirty go for
my sixteen kilometer run. But you know, I've stopped doing that,
and I've only just started to do that again. It
was just like I neglected myself whilst I was coming
that relationship in depression. But now the only person that
(12:06):
matters is me, So you know, I'm rewarding myself by
going to see your counselor. And that's probably one of
the most rewarding things that I've done since the breakup,
and just speaking and putting all my issues out there
on the table.
Speaker 1 (12:16):
I love it.
Speaker 3 (12:17):
I love it, and then finding other opportunities to fill
your cup. What are you doing with your life at
the moment, Tell me about what keeps you busy.
Speaker 4 (12:26):
I've just launched a new company.
Speaker 5 (12:28):
It's called Rainbow Emu Entertainment and I have a lineup
roster of eight other drag queens that I manage now.
And you know, our mission statement is to go around
to all these venues in Sydney, especially Oxford Street, and
have these places become predominantly black spaces, especially when it
comes to their entertainment. You can go down Oxford Street
now and there's not one Aboriginal drag queen that has
(12:50):
a home venue down there. So our goal is to
make sure that we are supportive of the younger drag
queens that are up and coming. We've just got a
deadly partnership with crial On at the makeup shop. But
you know, when I first started Dragon, I'd never had
no support. I never had you know, the financial stability,
I never had good people around me, and I was,
you know, sub abusing substances back then. So now all
(13:14):
I can do with the platform that I've created for
myself is looking out for these other younger people who
want to come up and do what I'm doing. And
all I can do is, you know, put my hands
out there and say I'm here and to supporting a
systudent anyway that you need.
Speaker 3 (13:26):
Do you find people reaching out dm exciting into your
dms in a positive way?
Speaker 4 (13:30):
Yes, in a very positive way.
Speaker 1 (13:33):
And like younger people reaching out to you.
Speaker 4 (13:35):
A lot of younger people.
Speaker 5 (13:36):
And you know, I just got booked for a youth
show in Calgooley, look never Calhooley before, So I'm excited
for that.
Speaker 4 (13:43):
And yeah, going to do a big youth show down there.
Speaker 3 (13:46):
Because there are a lot of brother boys and sister
girls in our community.
Speaker 1 (13:49):
Yeah, and when.
Speaker 3 (13:51):
We even look at some of the suicide rates amongst
our mob, which we know, you know, the worst in
the world, especially when it comes to young Aboriginal people,
but even in the you know, the LGBTQ plus community,
those rates are higher. Again, so being black, being queer,
(14:11):
and even being a young person, there's all these odds
stacked up against you and us as a people. How
do we shift people's mentalities, How do we really kind
of change people's perceptions to them be more accepting of
all of us, no matter who we are and how
(14:34):
we identify. What do you think when what's some of
the I don't know some of your words of wisdom
that people that are listening to this podcast could learn
from from your experience.
Speaker 5 (14:46):
I think it comes down to each individual at the
end of the day. Once you do that groundwork with
yourself and you're grounded in your own identity, then you know,
I used to be a very judgmental person, you know.
I would see someone walking down the street and the
look like a real book and I'm like, they look there.
But you know, I've stopped that over the years because
I realized, you don't what anybody else is going through
in their life to judge them or you know, if
(15:07):
someone has a different appearance, or if they're trends or
whatever else, who cares. And at the end of the day,
if you're grounded in yourself and your identity and you
know who you are, that leaves no time and space
in your head to go and judge a person for
them being, you know, sterning their identity or who they are.
So to each individual out there, yeah, do your own
groundwork on yourself and make sure that you love yourself
(15:28):
and the world will be a better place because then
we have no time for judgment, judgment and hate and negativity.
Speaker 3 (15:35):
And talking about being grounded in your in your in
your identity, how has your culture supported you and your
journey of just being who you are?
Speaker 5 (15:48):
I think my culture has definitely grounded me a lot
more than anything else in my world. And having my culture,
knowing where I come from and knowing my mob and
my my song lines and my storylines, it's the most
grounding thing ever and it makes me the strong, empowered
gay Aboriginal men that I am. And there's no way
(16:08):
that Felicia Fox would even exist if Wendell French didn't
have my culture, and you know, having that duality of
my culture and my queenness and my sexual identity, my
sexual identity wouldn't be as strength and if it wasn't
for my culture. And I am the empowered being that
I am today because of my culture.
Speaker 3 (16:29):
And this is what we need to do. We need
to try and empower other mob who haven't yet found
you know, the strength or the courage to be able
to speak up openly without judgment. You know, That's that's
what I find a lot in our community that a
lot of the younger people coming through are still trying
(16:49):
to find, you know, who they can gravitate to, who's
their community, who can they trust, who can they rely on?
And you know, we need to be a little bit
more open minded. And I think just as a society
that we're not as accepting an open minded when it
comes to people who are not like us. And what
(17:10):
is the perfect your normal person meant.
Speaker 1 (17:12):
To look like? Right?
Speaker 4 (17:13):
No such thing as a normal there.
Speaker 3 (17:14):
Is no you know, we are all our unique selves
and we should all you know, it's like a human
right when you think about it, you know, to be
who you are and to reach your full potential in
this life. Yeah, what would you say to a lot
of the younger mob that are listening that want to
(17:36):
be just like you?
Speaker 1 (17:37):
What would you say to them?
Speaker 5 (17:39):
You know what, You're going to have a lot of
mixed thoughts and mixed things coming through your head, and
you're going to question whether you're this and that, you
know what, Embrace whatever you're feeling in the moment and.
Speaker 4 (17:49):
Be who you are.
Speaker 5 (17:50):
Wear that piece of piece of clothing where that you know,
access thory, wear that big fur coat down the street,
just to go get some bread and milk, do whatever,
you know. And it's literally that saying you only live once.
It would be so shit to die tomorrow and to
be like I could have done this, I could have
done that, and I could have just been myself in life.
So and it shows, you know, when you see someone
(18:10):
walking down the street and they're feeling that confidence and
they've got that, you can tell they are confident. Yeah,
you know, just embrace every bit of yourself and never
be scared or fearful of change, and just embrace the
change that comes.
Speaker 3 (18:23):
You know.
Speaker 5 (18:24):
I never woke up one day and just became Felicia Fox.
You know, it took me a long time. And I'm
still finding the duality between my feminity and my masculinity,
and I embrace both every single day, like Tonada.
Speaker 4 (18:36):
Being a crop top. But I look like a big bloke.
Speaker 1 (18:38):
Here now and there's nothing wrong with that.
Speaker 4 (18:41):
Nothing wrong at all.
Speaker 5 (18:42):
I'm going to get my pedicure tomorrow and menicula and
just you know, embrace it. And there's no way, there's
no right or wrong way to live life as long
as you're a true, genuine person and you're living true
and authentically to yourself. Then that's all that matters at
the end of the day, and you will watch all
the positivity of all the positive people come around you
and culminate to you because it vibrates off you. When
(19:06):
you're confident and you're positive and you're just doing.
Speaker 1 (19:10):
You, people just are drawn to that energy round two percent.
Speaker 4 (19:13):
Yeah, it's magnetic.
Speaker 3 (19:14):
I was just going to say in terms of like
gotcha for life. Our mission is around you know, imagining
our world without sil science. We talk about building our
village so that nobody ever has to worry alone.
Speaker 1 (19:31):
What does mental fitness mean to you?
Speaker 5 (19:33):
Mental fitness to me means suppose they get mentally working
your brain out, so you know, when you are in
those times of distress, when you are in a depression
or whatever you're going through and you feel alone, the
things that you do for your mind to keep away
from those things. Like I started journaling and didn't think
I'd ever start to journal. That's, you know, mental fitness
(19:55):
to me when I start to journal and I literally
document throughout the day what I have to do, and
that just makes my day so much better. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (20:03):
Clease your mind, you're focused, it outcomes driven. You got structure,
you've got your routine. I've been told a lot that
it's cathartic to write what you're thinking right what you're feeling.
I've got a really good friend of mine and I
love her, Maria Wamba.
Speaker 1 (20:18):
I call it my womber sister.
Speaker 3 (20:20):
Because she's got this amazing energy that I don't always
have and just seems to be so uplifting and positive
and happy and just this amazing person to be around.
Speaker 4 (20:32):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (20:33):
Right, So it's like.
Speaker 3 (20:34):
That the people you have around you should bring out
the best in you as well. So who is it
around you that you feel brings the best out in you?
Speaker 4 (20:44):
I'd definitely say my drag family.
Speaker 5 (20:47):
You know, no matter what I'm going through in my life,
and my drag family is around, they uplift me and
they support me, and they empower me to feel back
on top of the world again and they never ever
make me feel shit.
Speaker 3 (21:00):
Is that important, Hay to find your people in the world,
to find the place where you feel that you belong
instead of feeling like you don't belong, you don't fit in.
And I'm sure you've felt that many times.
Speaker 5 (21:13):
And you know, when I'm in drag, I think that's
another one of my big empowering things when I'm out
in community doing community work. And you know, I love
when I go to gigs and it's community gigs and
all the mob were coming up to me, axing for
photos and it's like, this is how I know I've made.
Speaker 4 (21:26):
You know, a good platform. I've got mob coming up.
Speaker 5 (21:28):
To me left, right and center, acting for photos and
wanted to have conversations.
Speaker 4 (21:31):
And that's what I love about my job.
Speaker 5 (21:33):
You know, I'd rather be booked at a community event
than that some little gaming club on Oxford Street.
Speaker 1 (21:37):
Yes.
Speaker 3 (21:37):
Community, We do everything for our community. It drives us.
What's been one of your highlights? If you think about
your career so fun, You're only got twenty five.
Speaker 5 (21:46):
Twenty five, yeah, so young.
Speaker 1 (21:49):
Still go a long way to go.
Speaker 4 (21:50):
A long long way.
Speaker 3 (21:51):
But talk is what's some of your highlights? What do
you what are you most proud of some of your achievements.
Speaker 5 (21:57):
I think one of the biggest things I've ever done
in my career was walk out a stream and Fashion
Week as my drag persona, and that was the first
that was ever done.
Speaker 1 (22:05):
And talk about breaking down barriers.
Speaker 5 (22:07):
Yeah, And the next morning woke up and I was
published in Vogue.
Speaker 4 (22:10):
It was like, get out of here.
Speaker 1 (22:11):
Start what he've been in Vogue?
Speaker 5 (22:13):
Vogue, Harpers clear a few Oh my gosh.
Speaker 3 (22:18):
All right, so you're making you're making covers and you're
in magazine.
Speaker 4 (22:22):
Adahle Centerfold and Harpers. How crazy is that?
Speaker 3 (22:25):
Oh mge what was an experience like for a lot
of us?
Speaker 5 (22:29):
Just I have all the articles and clippings on my
war at home because that will forever be a proud
moment because I've never in my life seen any representation
of someone like me in the media growing up, a
gay Aboriginal man that was participating in the art of drag.
I never got to you know, I was on that
campaign We are warriors and to see it, you have
to see it to be it.
Speaker 4 (22:47):
And that's probably the.
Speaker 5 (22:49):
Proudest moments that I've ever done, because I hope that
there are heaps of other little, younger queer follows out
there that need to see that to be like, oh
that's literally who what that's me?
Speaker 4 (23:00):
I can do that. I can be that.
Speaker 5 (23:02):
And you know, the narrative alway written that we would
never accepted in these places, or we couldn't progress to
these places. We're only ever supposed to be in nightclubs
and pubs and whatever else doing drag, but you know,
it was like, I've pushed for my drag to be
at Australian Fashion Week runway and.
Speaker 1 (23:18):
I was there with you. I've got to see you,
hang out with you.
Speaker 3 (23:22):
There's obviously there's positives of that attention, but there's also
a lot of the negatives. And you did speak about
it earlier with Marti Grass in particular that the app
that you chose to kind of align with the theme,
a lot of the community didn't approve of that. At Gotcha,
We've got this amazing app that's very new and it's
(23:43):
a mental fitness gym.
Speaker 1 (23:45):
So I downloaded the.
Speaker 3 (23:46):
App right and I put in my age and my
female and how I'm feeling. So it kind of builds
a bit of a profile for you.
Speaker 1 (23:56):
And every day I get a.
Speaker 3 (23:57):
Notification and you can send messages to people anonymous. He
could just say be your best self today, or whatever inspirational,
motivational message that you want someone to hear. I think
it's amazing that I get to check into this app,
don't know who that person is sending me a message,
and now I'm sending a message and I don't know
(24:18):
who's going to get that, but I hope it reaches
that person in that right moment that they can just
pick up a phone now and connect.
Speaker 1 (24:27):
We've also got one three yarm.
Speaker 3 (24:29):
We've got support services and resources at our fingertips that
weren't ever available. Are there any other organizations or places
that you've been able to seek support, whether it's to
support you with your mental health or whether it's to
support you with anything with health wellness? Just so people
(24:53):
know that these services exist and if we don't know
about them, then people are not going to use them, right.
Speaker 5 (24:59):
I think Odyssey House if you're out there looking for
a good counselor, Odissey House offer free concer and you
know they have a wide range of counselors there. But
just the team that I have there, I just absolutely
amazing have supported me through what I've been going through
the last couple months. And yeah, so if you're looking
for a good counselor, definitely obviously how I syep them up.
Speaker 3 (25:17):
And we're talking about culturally appropriate services as well for
our mob come highly recommended by you. I love this
and this is what we need to do. We need
to let people know that there are services out there
that might not be community controlled averagal organizations. There are
other organizations out there that are doing pretty deadly work.
(25:38):
So Odyssey House, we'll make sure we've got that in
our show notes. I've got this really kind of personal
question I want to ask you, yeah, is if you
could go back to your thirteen year old self, what
would you say to Wendel.
Speaker 5 (25:54):
I'd say, You've got a rough road ahead. It's going
to be a trials and tribulation. You know there's going
to be hurdles, but you're going to overcome them. Get
a little of shitty people out there in this world
that are going to say negative things about you and
(26:14):
put you down.
Speaker 4 (26:15):
You don't take that in.
Speaker 5 (26:17):
And I know that that little fire and that spark
inside you is because you are going to be a
fucking star and you were born to be a star.
You were put on this earth for a reason. And
embrace every single day and delive it to the fullest
and know that you are a little black bouodoo and
be so fucking proud of yourself.
Speaker 3 (26:36):
Power to you and much loving to you to keep
showing up because you could have turned your back with
all of the negativity that's come at you and you
probably will still face as you keep pushing through and
killing it, killing it in life with your your adventure.
I just want to say congratulations on starting.
Speaker 1 (26:57):
Your own business.
Speaker 4 (26:58):
Thank you so much.
Speaker 1 (26:59):
It's not easy, but I'm here.
Speaker 3 (27:02):
There's a lot of us in busines and has a
lot of black fellows that started with nothing, have come
from nothing and have built empires, have been able to
create intergenerational wealth for our families and communities and also
in that process breaking the cycle of intergenerational trauma. You know,
this trauma is two hundred and fifty years old. Our
(27:24):
people are much older than that, our culture is much
older than that. So this strength based approach to having
these conversations around mental fitness, around building your village, I
just can't say thank you. I'm so grateful that you've
been able to loan your voice to support Black Magic
Woman and got you for life with this partnership series
(27:46):
around building mental fitness, so that all of our mob
just have the support they need, have the resources, have
the tools to be able to speak up, to be
able to call one three yarn or even to check
into an app that got you for life has just launched.
So if there's any word of wisdom, are any last
kind of you know, kind of words of even inspiration,
(28:10):
what do you want to leave people with last?
Speaker 5 (28:13):
You kind of to go out to any of the mob.
You know, whether you're black, white, doesn't matter what color
or age. If you are going through anything, you know
you do have mob.
Speaker 4 (28:20):
You do have community.
Speaker 5 (28:21):
Make sure you lean on them in those times, you know,
because like we're having right now, we're sitting here just
having a conversation. That's all that is literally needed. And
having a cry and having a cry, letting those emotions out.
And it's okay to feel that the way you're feeling
and then put yourself for feeling down that and feeling
that way. It's all right to feel that way. It's
only human.
Speaker 3 (28:38):
Well, it is your birthday. Enjoy this special day.
Speaker 5 (28:42):
Thank you for having me, and yes they saved all
the while out there, and make sure you reach out
when you need to reach.
Speaker 1 (28:47):
Out too deadly, Well are you mob?
Speaker 3 (28:50):
Through the tears, the laughter, the joy, This is just
who we are. And I love the fact that we
can just talk freely and not hold back because we're
human at the end of the day. This has been
an amazing opportunity for me to open the gate to
our communities, to let more people in. We'll give them
an insight into who we are and the lives that
(29:12):
we'll live, and that we are pretty much just like
everyone else. Sometimes, yeah, we kind of push to the
side or we're in the background, and now we need
to kind of be in the driver's seat. You know,
we need to be the ones that are telling our
stories on our terms. So thank you for being part
(29:33):
of this amazing partnership. We've got you for life.
Speaker 4 (29:36):
Thank you for having me.
Speaker 3 (29:37):
And tell you mob, I know you would have enjoyed
this Deadly Yarn. If you haven't been able to hear
any of the other episodes, you need to subscribe wherever
you get your podcasts from. If you go the iHeart app,
it's free. But you can listen to The Black Magic
Woman wherever get your podcast from, or even on YouTube,
and you can watch us yarn in person. So yeah,
(29:59):
go rate it, review it, share the love, share this podcast,
and tune in for the next episode of this amazing
mental Fitness Conversations.
Speaker 2 (30:09):
Bye for now, Thanks for tuning in to Mental Fitness Conversations.
Keep building your emotional muscles with the free Mental Fitness
Gym app packed with tools, tips and everyday actions to
support your mental fitness. Download it from the App Store
or Google play Store or visit the Mentalfitnessgym dot org.
(30:29):
If anything in this episode brought something up for you, you
don't have to worry alone. Reach out to a trusted
friend or family member and know that support is available.
You can contact Lifeline on one three, double one, one
four or one three yarn at one three nine two
seven six for free and confidential support for Aboriginal and
Torrostrad Islander people. If you enjoyed this episode, leave us
(30:53):
a rating, share it with someone in your village, or
drop us a message. We'd love to hear what you think,
and don't forget to follow Black Magic Woman and Gotcha
for Life on all socials to keep the conversation ation
going
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Ruthie's Table 4
For more than 30 years The River Cafe in London, has been the home-from-home of artists, architects, designers, actors, collectors, writers, activists, and politicians. Michael Caine, Glenn Close, JJ Abrams, Steve McQueen, Victoria and David Beckham, and Lily Allen, are just some of the people who love to call The River Cafe home. On River Cafe Table 4, Rogers sits down with her customers—who have become friends—to talk about food memories. Table 4 explores how food impacts every aspect of our lives. “Foods is politics, food is cultural, food is how you express love, food is about your heritage, it defines who you and who you want to be,” says Rogers. Each week, Rogers invites her guest to reminisce about family suppers and first dates, what they cook, how they eat when performing, the restaurants they choose, and what food they seek when they need comfort. And to punctuate each episode of Table 4, guests such as Ralph Fiennes, Emily Blunt, and Alfonso Cuarón, read their favourite recipe from one of the best-selling River Cafe cookbooks. Table 4 itself, is situated near The River Cafe’s open kitchen, close to the bright pink wood-fired oven and next to the glossy yellow pass, where Ruthie oversees the restaurant. You are invited to take a seat at this intimate table and join the conversation. For more information, recipes, and ingredients, go to https://shoptherivercafe.co.uk/ Web: https://rivercafe.co.uk/ Instagram: www.instagram.com/therivercafelondon/ Facebook: https://en-gb.facebook.com/therivercafelondon/ For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iheartradio app, apple podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.com
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com