Overcoming Perfectionism and Harnessing ADHD to Build Lasting Habits with Robyn Shaw

Join us on this empowering episode as Aimee welcomes Robyn Shaw, who opens up about her transformative journey from the grips of perfectionism in fitness and nutrition to a place of greater balance and self-compassion. Delving into her personal battles with body dysmorphia, Robyn illuminates the pivotal moments that led her to take the reins of her health into her own hands. She underscores the critical importance of gathering diverse perspectives and learning to trust the wisdom of your own body. Throughout their conversation, Robyn stresses the value of embracing imperfections and cultivating resilience, showing us that true health is about harmony and happiness, not just hard numbers and perfect forms. Tune in as they explore these intimate revelations and share insights on nurturing a healthy, joyous life.

Key Takeaways:

• Breaking free from the perfectionist mindset is an ongoing process that requires self-awareness and self-compassion.
• Developing resilience and being prepared for challenges is crucial in maintaining consistency in health and wellness habits.

Notable Quotes:

• "I think that's the biggest cause of self-sabotage, the original plan not going as planned, and you see that as an excuse to screw it."
• "Every challenge is an opportunity to get stronger and develop as a person."
• "Expect things to go differently than you initially planned and be prepared to adapt and find creative solutions."

Resources:

• Robyn Shaw's website: https://bodzii.com/
• Robyn Shaw's book: Hustle, But Healthy
• Blasphemous Nutrition on Substack
• Work with Aimee
• Photography by: Dai Ross Photography
  Podcast Cover Art: Lilly Kate Creative

CHAT ME UP: let me know what's on your mind by texting here!

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Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Hey Rebels, welcome toBlasphemous Nutrition.
Consider this podcast yourpantry full of clarity,
perspective, and the nuanceneeded to counter the
superficial health advice sofreely given on the internet.
I'm Amy, the unapologeticallycandid host of Blasphemous
Nutrition and a double degreednutritionist with 20 years
experience.

(00:22):
I'm here to share a more nuancedtake.
On living and eating well tosustain and recover your health.
If you've found most healthadvice to be so generic as to be
meaningless, We're so extremethat it's unrealistic, and you
don't mind the occasional Fbomb.
You've come to the right place.
From dissecting the latestnutrition trends to breaking

(00:43):
down published research andsharing my own clinical
experiences, I'm on a mission tofoster clarity amidst all the
confusion and empower you tohave the health you need to live
a life you love.
Now let's get started.

Aimee (01:00):
Robyn Shaw is an author, business owner, CrossFit coach,
and Precision Nutritionnutrition coach.
She has dedicated the last 10years of her life to helping
recovering crash dieters achievetheir healthiest and happiest
body in a sustainable way.
In today's conversation, Robinand I cover the gamut, from

(01:22):
overcoming a perfectionistmindset to the state of
parenting and healthcare in theWestern world.
Robin shares her experiences andoffer some wonderful tips to
help with creating consistencywhen you have anxiety and ADHD,
that gets in the way of buildinghabits.
She also talks a lot about herpersonal experience with

(01:43):
perfectionism and body image.
As well as disordered healthbehaviors, what she has done to
transition into a healthierperspective for herself and how
she utilizes that when workingwith others.
Rather than being an interviewtoday's episode is really more

(02:05):
like an insider conversationbetween two professionals in the
health space, where we dish onwhat we find works and doesn't,
and well, even talk a littlesmack about the industry and
what it is like to actually tryand make it as what is called a
solo preneur or independentbusiness owner.

(02:26):
I do hope you enjoy today'sepisode.
So let's get to it.
You
Robyn, I'm so glad to welcome you to Blasphemous
Nutrition.
I feel like we are aligned withso many things and it's always
just good fun to shoot the shitwith a peer

Robyn (02:43):
in the field.
Right?
Exactly.
That's how I feel.
That's, I feel like we instantlyconnected over Facebook and I'm
like, I'm just excited to chatwith you and see where we're at.
Yeah, totally.

Aimee (02:55):
And then, you know, doing a little bit of homework on you,
I found so many, there's so manythings I want to talk to you
about.
So cool.
Great.
Let's go.
Let's do it.
I'm just gonna dive in.
Um, yeah, there's many aspectsthat you allude to about your
own story that I feel would bereally helpful For my listeners

(03:15):
to, to know, to get thatfirsthand experience, That
firsthand vicarious livingthrough what you've experienced.
A couple of things that reallycome to mind is how you talk
about breaking free from theperfectionist mindset.
When it comes to fitness andnutrition and physique, like how

(03:39):
did you liberate yourself fromthose.
From that tiny box ofperfection.

Robyn (03:50):
I think I'm still in the process of doing that, right?
Like, it's,, I would be lying ifI said that I had no days
anymore where I catch myself inthat mindset still, right?
And so, Just like anything,especially if we're on the topic
of like health and wellness,we're going to be talking in

(04:12):
total con like areas of gray andnuance always, there's always
going to be that.
So I think that's, that reignstrue to something like this as
well, where it's it's not just aswitch that turned off, right?
Like, God, no.
Like I'm still in the middle oftrying to like, go through that
process.
And, and that's a really goodquestion.
I think, I mean, it's, it's,it's come for me in like so many

(04:34):
different areas.
So the first one was.
the first kind of rein that Itried to break free from was the
physical, uh, appearance side ofthings.
And so this goes like probablyas far back as 10 years when I
first started coaching.
Well, I've been coaching in someaspect for closer to 15 years.

(04:56):
Cause I started off as a swimcoach before I went into
CrossFit and stuff like that.
But

Aimee (05:00):
you were a

Robyn (05:01):
competitive swimmer, right?
Yeah.
In your youth.
Competitive

Aimee (05:04):
swimmer for a long time.
do you feel that that shapedsome of that mindset that drive

Robyn (05:10):
to.
Yes.
So there was, in a way, it wasan expectation to live up to the
athlete, kind of like, like, Ihave a history of being an
athlete and then I, Took a longbreak.
So just to give some extracontext here, I was a swimmer
and very competitive when I wasquite young.
And I quit when I was 15, whichis like at your peak, right?

(05:32):
These Olympians are 15, right?
It's, that's basically yourpeak.
and so I quit when I was 15.
And then what else was, whatelse happens at your life when
you're a 15 year old girl inhigh school, you want to be
social, you want to drink, youwant to go out, you're starting
to get into partying.
you know, I was going into grade11, almost my senior year of
high school., and then, so I, Iwent into that and I fell into

(05:53):
that like really hard, Irebelled against kind of that
5am deck time, 5am training andplus, two days in the pool.
And I rejected that whole, thatwhole life and fell into the
party scene.
And I did that reallyaggressively.
until my second year university.

(06:15):
So it was like four or fiveyears of me, heavy into
drinking, heavy into partyinglate nights.
And I went into art school too,right?
So it's it's not, it's notuncommon for people to Bring a
glass of wine to, or like bringcooler of wine to art class
while we're drawing, right?
Like people did not bat an eyeat it.
Like that culture and the artscene and stuff It was like,

(06:36):
yeah, stay up late, drink,party, socialize, go to gallery
openings,.
And so the reason why I say thatis because when I finally
started to, and really wanted tolike pull myself out of that.
I went into a CrossFit gym.
Well, I was working out for alittle bit, but when I did go
into a CrossFit gym and wasgiven the opportunity to start
coaching, I think there was likethis pressure and expectation of

(07:00):
me to look a certain way, right?
and I had gained weight over thecourse of, of partying and all
those years, like a significantamount of weight.
and I, Was starting to try andreel it back in and find my best
body, my happiest body, myhappiest self.
But of course, in that process,you start to develop severe body

(07:20):
dysmorphia.
You start to compare yourselfwith people around you.
Now I'm coaching and I have alleyes on me.
In the gym, I'm coaching a classof 30 plus people and there's
this expectation that you shouldbe looking a certain way if
you're going to coach thesepeople.
This is what I thought anyways.
So it was an

Aimee (07:39):
internally driven expectation.

Robyn (07:42):
It was an internally driven expectation.
And there also were commentsmade.
So I, My older brother is a,like one of the fittest men on
earth.
And I don't even say thatexaggeratingly.
Like he was, went to theCrossFit games, competed at a
very, very high level.
Like an absolute animal in thegym.

(08:03):
My younger sister is nodifferent.
She is, um, incredible,incredible athlete.
And, my younger brother, sothere's three, there's four of
us total.
My younger brother is, really,really amazing at his craft,
which is BJJ, Brazilian JiuJitsu.
And everybody knows this becausewe're all kind of on social
media.
And, and so there would becomments, especially because I

(08:23):
was coaching CrossFit.
And they knew who my brother wasbecause he's a public figure in
CrossFit.
They knew who my sister wasbecause she's very good at
CrossFit.
And then, there would be kind ofbackhanded comments of like, Oh,
what happened to you?
Right.
Oh, like, are you going tocompete this year and try and
catch up with your sister orlike things like that?
Right.
And I know that it was like, haha joke.

(08:44):
I laugh it off, like whatever.
But that, that stings, right?
Like that is like, Oh, okay.
I need to, I need to get my shittogether.
Like I need to start competingagainst.
none other than my own family,which is not great, right?
When you're starting to like,fight that internally.
So I then from 2015 to 2017,2018, I would spend two and a

(09:12):
half hours in the gym.
I hired a coach of all sorts.
I was like the absolute, likequintessential CrossFit nerd.
And did every, eat, sleep,breathe, CrossFit.
looking back, it was like theworst thing that I've, that I
did to my body.
I got down to like 14 percentbody fat.
I was, training not sustainably.

(09:35):
I was not eating to support theamount of training that I was
doing.
I was eating like 1500 caloriesa day to try and look a certain
way, but at the same timetraining even more to try and
perform a certain way.
And so that impact on yourmenstrual cycle, so, I was on an
IUD and I still am so that andyeah, so I don't know.

(09:59):
I mean jump forward to me being30 almost 33 now and I still
have an IUD like ready to get ittaken out any minute now because
we want to start a family andthis will be the first time
where I actually understand myown menstrual cycle, which is
crazy to think about, right?
yeah, so yes, I don't know toanswer your question like, I
actually have no idea.
It could, it could very wellhave.

(10:21):
but so to answer your initialquestion of like, how did I
break free?
Well, there's multiple, there'sbeen multiple things that I've
had to break free from.
The first one is that physical,the physical appearance and like
the expectations of living up tobeing what people think or what
I thought a fitness CrossFitcoach should look like and act

(10:41):
like.
Yeah, right.
And, and I feel, I think sinceI've, it's been years and years
and years to get past that one,I can pretty confidently say
that I am, I don't give a fuckanymore.
I'm really happy about that.
That is probably one where I'mlike, I do not care.
And I have, no desire to getthat lean and work out that much

(11:02):
at all, which is so liberating.

Aimee (11:06):
Absolutely.
And real quick, I'm curious, howdid your siblings respond to
watching you go through thatjourney?

Robyn (11:16):
My older brother being an older brother, he is very
protective, right?
And yeah, he was concerned, buthe would, I, He was concerned.
I only knew that from one or twovery small comments.
That he would make, not evendirectly to me, but to my
sister, to my family, sayinglike, Oh, I hope she's eating.

(11:38):
Like, she's really lean.
Is she okay?
And I think my, my sister and Iare funny.
In the sense that we have such aclose relationship, but we're
both competitive.
So we kind of fed off of eachother.
So I don't know.
And it's so funny that this isnot fully transparent.

(12:00):
Like, this is not aconversation, like a fully open
conversation that I've had witheither of them, because I think
I just was like, okay, I need towork this on my own.
I need to get through this on myown.
It's not their fault.
Right, you know, like theirfault.
So I don't want to burden themwith this, right?
They did nothing wrong.
This was all me.
So I'm going to try and work onthis on my own.

(12:23):
And, and I did.
I mean, I say on my own, but youknow, therapy and talking to my
husband and, you know, talkingto people and writing a book
about it and being open aboutit.
You know, like there's manyoutlets that helped me along the
way.
Yeah, that was like so there wasI think there was a level of
like concern there for sure, butnothing like yeah, I've never

(12:43):
had the opportunity to reallyjust like openly chat about it
with them.

Aimee (12:46):
Yeah, I think that's pretty common from what I've
witnessed as well is that familymembers will often watch very
closely but stay silent.
Yeah, yeah.
And,, I can't really passjudgment on that.
I can't really say that I wouldnecessarily do it differently.

(13:08):
It's, it's such a, familydynamics are complex enough.
It's so complicated.
When there's nothing going on,

Robyn (13:16):
you know?
Right?
I know.

Aimee (13:18):
I know.
So it's, yeah.
I am really, I'm really glad tohear though that they didn't,
you know, that the, the siblingdynamic wasn't such that they
aggressively fed into theproblem,?
Or, or

Robyn (13:31):
by no means No.
That's wonderful.
It was a totally.
self fabricated with a littleextra sprinkling of comments
made by people in the gym.
And, and that's it.
Like I have, I've always heldvery high standards for myself.
I, I think, but it's so funny,you know, I talked to my sister

(13:52):
and she has the same feelingtowards me.
Like, I compare myself to youwhen it comes to like business
and success and how outgoing youare and socially you are and
things like that.
So there's Always going to besomething right.
And, and that was just mypersonal, my own personal thing.
And so it took me a long timeand through.
First taking a step back fromCrossFit and not to say that

(14:14):
CrossFit is going to do that toeverybody like that was just my
own personal experience, but Idid take had to take a big step
back from CrossFit, starttraining and working out a
different way.
I'm starting to listen to my ownbody more starting to focus on
things that brought me more joylike building my business and
helping other women and I thinkalso to a big part of my.

(14:35):
healing process in that sensewas working with the women that
I'm working now.
It's the women who really justwant to have a better life and
be more energized and not worryabout the number on the scale,
but really just worry aboutlike, okay, can they play with
their kids?
Can they go for bike rides andhikes without getting too out of
breath?
Like, and so when you have thatput in your face to give you

(14:56):
some perspective.
Then it's like, okay, yeah, likeI am so much happier when I'm 20
pounds heavier, you know, yeah,

Aimee (15:05):
yeah,

Robyn (15:06):
yeah.

Aimee (15:08):
Was there a moment for you where you were like, I'm
done, I can't do this anymore?
Or was it a slow realization?
How did you go from being inthat place where you were over
training and under eating,really being You know, having
that external locus of controlreally reclaiming and finding

(15:30):
your center and your values andwhat was going to be good for
you long term.

Robyn (15:35):
Yeah, there's two.
Moments that really stick out tome as huge players in this and
whether or not they were it Idon't know, but definitely big
players.
One of them was.
so I don't know anybody who'slistening who knows CrossFit and

(15:55):
understands CrossFit, there'sthis thing called the CrossFit
Open that happens at thebeginning of every year, you
might be familiar with it.
And so I was doing the CrossFitOpen and really trying to make
it to that next stage ofcompetition, right?
and I, this was like kind of thepeak of, of where I was the
most.

(16:16):
strung out because my trainingwas at its peak.
My eating was at its lowestbecause you want to be pretty
light when you're going into theopen.
And so I, like my, looking back,my cortisol levels must've been
fucking through the roof.
So I was doing a workout and Iwas getting really frustrated at
my performance.

(16:37):
During the workout, like superfrustrated.
And my dad happened to be therewatching, he came and visited
that weekend and he wasparticipating in the open for
fun as well.
Like he was, we, the family atthat point was all on board and
he saw me getting frustrated andI would like my face was just
you could see the frustration,but remember I was also still a

(16:58):
coach.
So people were watching me,right?
Like people would watch thecoaches do these workouts and
then, after the workout wasdone, I was like kind of pissed
and my dad pulled me asideafter, and he was like, what are
you doing?
He's like, you're, you're aleader here.
Like, don't, don't show thatamount of frustration and

(17:18):
negativity.
You need to show these people,you need to be the leader.
You need to be positive.
You need to stay positive.
You need to show them that it'sokay for it to not be perfect.
and he was the first one to pullme aside after that performance.
And say, like, get it together,basically.

Aimee (17:35):
Yeah.

Robyn (17:36):
So, that was one where I was like, Oh, shit.
Like, yeah.
You're, totally right.
I mean, in the moment, I waslike, Fuck off, dad.
But, later, I was like, oh yeah,he's totally right.
And then, not that long after, Iwent on vacation, by myself.
I did a two week, solo Europetrip.

(17:57):
And that gave me just like thephysical space I needed, the
mental space I needed, like justtotal disconnection.
I always say, if you need to getsome perspective, like go travel
somewhere, just like get, justleave your current life and take
a look at it from like a 3000foot view, kind of literally and
figuratively speaking, whenyou're in the air and you're

(18:18):
looking down, like it putsthings into perspective.
So I think coming back fromthat, I was like, wow, there's
just.
So much more going on here andso much more to life than me
trying to be, the best inbusiness, the best in CrossFit,
beating my brother and sister,looking a certain way, like all
these things.
So those were two big momentsfor me.
Having that support system andreally real talk with my dad and

(18:41):
then getting some, getting somedistance from it as well.

Aimee (18:47):
So then you, you've also talked about taking self care
too far is a natural, and Ithink you kind of see that play
out just in what you've alreadyshared about how you went from
being a competitive swimmer inyour youth to being like enough
of this.
I'm good.
I'm a teenager.

(19:08):
Damn it.
I'm gonna have some fun and thengoing way over the other end
right into college and thentrying to bring it back in but
then getting sucked back intothat sort of competitive athlete
mode and you transition outagain with the perspective of an
adult.

Um, but it sounds https (19:25):
otter.
ai For you.

Robyn (19:38):
Yeah, I think I mean, you're already kind of like
starting to see that patternthat I think a lot of women
experience.
I always say every action has anequal and opposite reaction.
So if you go very deep into onething, there's a chance that
you're going to rebel in theopposite direction equally as

(20:00):
aggressively.
We see this happen with, a lotof young women who, and this is
kind of where the notion ofthere's, yeah, self care can go
too far.
what I mean by that is, Anywoman, I say young women because
it's really prevalent in youngwomen, but like, really could be

(20:20):
anybody.
if you dive deep into thatwellness culture, clean eating,
which could very well end upbeing orthorexia, right, at some
point.
Yeah, right.
which is one version of beingunhealthy and unhappy.
okay, you start to pull yourselfout of that.
But then what happens you seethis anti diet, like diet starts

(20:45):
tomorrow culture, which is,which is the answer to wellness
culture, right?
So there's these two kind ofways of thinking and living that
we're seeing on social media andonline and it's obviously
seeping into these women's andmen's, let's be real here,
everybody, um, lives where,okay, what is the answer to

(21:10):
clean eating and, pureingredients and, well, gosh,
like, all of this nonsense thatcomes with, wellness and clean
eating culture.
It is skipping days at the gymbecause you don't feel like
going and you're listening toyour body.
It is ordering in food on maybeunnecessarily because you had a

(21:31):
long day at work and you need tolike just order in and you don't
feel like cooking something.
It's, you know, it's, it's selfcare taken too far.
your kind of going into that,like, I want to find balance,
but you've totally crossed overbalance and now you're going
into the other end of thespectrum of unhealthy and happy,

(21:52):
right?
And this also happens with, um,also happens with, recovering
dieters, right?
In the exact same sense.
They go from a place ofrestrict, restrict, restrict.
They rebound from that.
And then they go to a place ofovereat, overeat, overeat,
right?
And they skip that middleground.
And so when I say like self caregoes too far, it is like, okay,

(22:15):
yeah.
Like you gotta start tounderstand that self care isn't
skipping the gym because you hada hard day.
It's not ordering a pizzabecause you need to give
yourself a break.
It is maybe that every once in awhile after you've had 80
percent of your days, beingconsistent on and quote unquote

(22:36):
on track.
And I don't love that term, buthere we are.
And for me, there was a, yes,there was a period of that for
sure, because.
You know, of course, I wastrying to rebel against, you
know, my dad had that talk, Iwent to, um, I went to Europe
for two weeks, ate whatever Iwant when I was on vacation,

(22:57):
came back.
And that kind of seeped into mynormal life, my regular life.
So after I got that perspectiveand I was like, okay, I'm going
to start to get it together andnot be so hard on myself and all
that stuff.
It turned into, I'm going to eatwhatever I want.
I'm going to stop tracking myfood.
I'm going to, you know, justlive my life.
And yeah, and I gained weightback.

(23:18):
And I started to be the sameweight where I was when I was
partying in my Late teens andearly 20s.
and so it, yeah, it took me,gosh, and this, I think this is
just a great lesson foreverybody.
Like, holy smokes, if you take alook at when I started to try
and find what my happiest andhealthiest body would look like
10 years ago, I would say Iprobably just started to find

(23:41):
that balance, maybe.
Maybe five, four years ago, Soit, it takes a long, it takes a
while, right?
And you have to go through thosephases, uh, and you have to
sometimes learn the hard way,unfortunately.

Aimee (23:55):
Yeah, absolutely.
this isn't, yeah, this isn'tsomething that can be discovered
and resolved in a 90 dayprogram.
Oh my God,

Robyn (24:07):
no, no, absolutely

Aimee (24:09):
not.
It is, years.
It is.
Years.
And I really, I really doappreciate too that you started
this conversation off by sayingyou're still in the process of
understanding and developing andsolidifying those healthy

(24:31):
boundaries.
Yeah, I think that there areexpectations that at some point,
we will be healed.
Right.
And I'm air quoting here,Healing being like, end of
journey, walk out, all done,finito, it's history.

(24:53):
Our brains don't work like that.
No.
And life doesn't work like that.
And life doesn't work like that.
When we develop a coping skill,whether it's adaptive or
maladaptive, it, it's, it's inthere.
And one of the things that I'vepersonally experienced and also

(25:15):
witnessed is that you can have,like, you can have your shit
together for a long time Andthen something happens.
Maybe it's you're transitioninga parent to hospice.
Maybe it's you've just had anewborn, they aren't sleeping,
they're struggling with eating,you're not sleeping, life has

(25:38):
gone cuckoo, and your stresslevel is higher than it's ever
been in your adulthood.
There are times when life iscrazy.
Enough that even if you haven'thad a drink of alcohol, binge
eaten, what have you, for adecade or more, suddenly you're
there again and you're staringdown this barrel of something

(26:03):
that you thought you were over.
Right.
Yep.
You got it here.
And I mean, consistently acrossthe board, everybody's
responses.
Oh, shit.
How did I end up here?
I thought I was done with this.
Right.

Robyn (26:21):
Absolutely.
Absolutely.
And I, I mean, I don't have theanswer, but I have a answer that
has helped me a lot.
And it's, it's so, it's sosimple, obviously not, not easy,
but it's like.

(26:42):
If you can, you can somehow getyourself to a place of expecting
it to happen, right?
Like it's going to happen, thenyou can start to prepare
yourself.
Because I think those people whoare in that mindset of, okay,

(27:02):
I'm done.

Aimee (27:04):
They get

Robyn (27:04):
totally blindsided, slapped across the face with
zero preparedness.
And there's no, um, or verylittle like strength to get them
through that.
I always, I talk to my clients alot about visualization and it's
like, I think it's such apowerful thing.

(27:24):
It can kind of seem like, Ooh,like, okay.
Visualization.
What are you talking about?
But I mean, go to any, I thinkof, um, Olympic athletes,
weightlifters.
Okay.
Okay.
And it's, and it's like, thereare studies on it.
that show the effectiveness ofit.
Okay.
So it's like, there's thisweightlifter, they have three
lifts to do.
Okay.

(27:46):
10 seconds to go make that oneleft.
And if they fail, they fail.
That's it.
They have no, like they have inthat moment of 10 seconds or
whatever, however much, I can'teven remember how long it's on
the clock, but they have towait.
Yeah.
X amount of time to do theirsecond lift.
And so what goes into that islike, they're sitting there and
you'll see them.

(28:06):
If you ever watch weightlifting,they'll be sitting backstage or
on the, on the chair there.
And there'll be like closingtheir eyes.
They'll be looking, they'll bevisualizing.
They have to see and feel out intheir mind how that lift is
going to go.
And so I try and talk to that,talk about this to my clients
where it's like, Hey, start tovisualize what your weekend is
going to look like when you'reout and about and going to these

(28:28):
events and you're on vacation,start to visualize what it look,
what it would look like if youwere derailed, start to
visualize what it would looklike if you were to go to an
event and they had totallydifferent array of food than you
expected to be there.
What are you going to do?
And even just that moment ofsitting in that space where
you're starting to think aboutwhat are the potential
realities, And so for me,because my next potential

(28:51):
reality is what a one that youwere saying, we could have a
newborn baby in the next year,,and for me, it's that excites
me, like really excites me whereit's like, Oh, I'm so excited to
have a new obstacle that I canstart to figure out.
Like it's going to take newplanning and new skills, and

(29:11):
it's going to develop me as ahuman being and as a mother and
as a person.
and I'm going to be able tobring a new conversation to the
next podcast that I'm on abouthow to overcome things.
But the only reason that I'mable to look at that with from a
place of like pure excitementand looking forward to it is
because I've been expecting itlike I know it's coming.
And so, yeah, and it might,again it's not it may not be the

(29:33):
answer but it's helped me a tonwhere it's like, like, Shit will
always hit the fan in life.

Aimee (29:38):
Just

Robyn (29:39):
be

Aimee (29:40):
prepared.
Exactly.
We conveniently forget that lifeis inherently chaotic.

Robyn (29:46):
Exactly.
And it can be something as microas oh, you're on a weight loss
journey and you go to yourfriend's like backyard barbecue
and they say that there's goingto be healthy food but you get
there and there's like chips andstuff.
Hey, cool.
Some prepare for that tosomething as macro as yeah,
having a newborn and yourschedule gets totally like
chaotic and out of whack andnothing you could ever expect,

(30:08):
right?
These instances pop up in yourday and life.
All the time, but we think forsome reason that it's all just
going to be like, Oh, okay.
I've, spent a couple of weeksdoing the work.
I'm good.
You know, like everything'sgoing to be smooth sailing from
now on.
And it's not, unfortunately.

Aimee (30:25):
Yeah, exactly.
It's not definitely, definitelyhelpful to have backup plans,
right?
You have your best laid plan.
Okay.
This is what I'm planning for.
And then, okay, well, thatdoesn't work out.
Like, what's my plan B?
What's my backup?
I mean, small case in point, I'min Spain and the week before

(30:49):
Easter is like a big frickingdeal.
Everything, you know, things areintermittently open or shut
down.
It's our first Easter here.
I don't really know what's goingto be open when or not.
And I did really well, butdidn't realize that Easter
Monday.
is a thing.

(31:10):
The day after Easter.
Yeah.
Everything is shut down.
Yeah.
So, I buy just enough to getthrough the weekend anticipating
everything's going to be shutdown through the weekend.
I plan on my meal plan for thisweek.
I'm all set on my, all right,Monday morning.
I'm going to go, I'm going toget all my produce.

(31:31):
No, Aimee, you're not.
Life has other plans for you,yeah.
It's Easter Monday, don't youknow?
I don't, I don't know what thatmeans.
I mean, because Spain is, Spainobserves religious holidays, but
is by and large not religious.
Yeah.
I don't know what.
Originally was supposed tohappen on Easter Monday, but

(31:53):
everything being shut down.
And so I'm like, well, shit,where am I going to get my
protein?
Where am I going to get myproduce?
I don't, I don't know.
I, we're going to have to figurethis out.
And I managed to cobble togetherwhat I needed between what we
had, the scraps that I had leftover and the few things that

(32:14):
were open, but my meal plan thisweek, It's, it's not, it's not
going to happen, right?
It's, it's, it started offdifferently.
I now have different food in thefridge based on availability.
I'm going to roll with it.
And we can't, we can't be tooheavily attached to the initial

(32:37):
plan.

Robyn (32:38):
Yes.
Could not have said it bettermyself because that is probably
the.
And I think that's the biggestcause of self sabotage that I
see is, yeah, the original plannot going as planned and you see
that as an excuse to, all right,this isn't going to work.
Screw it.
Yeah.

(32:58):
This isn't going to work.
Screw it.
Right.
I think like my goal, my biggestgoal is to help build like a
level of resilience in ourclients.
And I think that's the biggestthing that we're trying to do
is.
Is yeah, start to build thatresilience, start to build that
creative way of thinking andthinking on the fly and thinking

(33:19):
on your feet.
especially because we're workingwith so many busy women too.
It's like the chances of thingsgoing wrong are not just like,
you know, like maybe it'sprobably right.
Yeah, expect it to exactly.
Expect it to.
Yeah, I think that's a reallygood conversation.
I haven't really dove into thata lot with with like on any

(33:42):
podcast or anything like that.
But I think that's like such animportant message is yeah, just
continue to expect things to gonot wrong, because it's not
wrong, but expect them to godifferently than you had
initially planned.
And if you can wrap your headaround that then you're not
going to get into that screw itmo nearly as often of ordering
and take out when things didn'tgo your way.
Exactly.

Aimee (34:01):
It's going to be, Oh, here it is.
Here's my opportunity topractice the backup plan.
Here's my opportunity to beresilient.
Here's my opportunity to becreative.
Exactly.

Robyn (34:12):
I've seen it as, and I even wrote this.
I think it's in my book like Iwrote this in my book where it's
like every challenge is anopportunity and you need to
start looking at thesechallenges as opportunities like
if you really care about yourhealth, then you should also
care about your selfdevelopment, like your personal
development, and in all areas,like we just talked about
resilience, creativity, thinkingon the fly, like whatever it is,

(34:35):
and, and those only come withchallenges, right?
Like they literally only presentthemselves as an opportunity to
get stronger, like throughchallenges.
And so what are you doing tryingto avoid challenges?
Oh, you want to become a betterperson, but you're also like
scared of, of screwing up when achallenge present itself.
It's like, okay, like there's a,there's a total disconnect

(34:58):
there.
Right.
Yeah.

Aimee (35:00):
Yeah.
on a, almost a side tangentthat's somewhat related, I see
too, in this, in the health andwellness field with people are
in the position we are, wherethey are coaches, they're
fitness professionals they'rehealth professionals at one more
certification, one more degreein order to be ready to help
people, right?

(35:20):
Like to learn more, to be ready.
Oh, girl, you need to get out inthe field and you need to start
talking to people so that youlearn what you don't know that
you need to know, because youcan't learn everything and then
get started.
Life teaches you the experiencethat you need to be an amazing
practitioner.
Yes.
It doesn't come from a textbook.

(35:40):
It doesn't come from a course.
It doesn't come from some, like,guru sage on the stage who's
presenting all the answers andwill teach you everything you
need to know about functionalwhat have you.

Robyn (35:54):
Well, I'll even, I'll even go a step further than that
and say, the more you learn andthe more you know is probably
going to turn you into a worsecoach.
Yes.
Thank you.
Because what are you going todo?
You're going to try and spew outall the things that you know,
like, and I see this happen withnew coaches all the time.
I worked with one and oh my God,he drove me nuts where it was

(36:15):
like, he was so knowledgeable.
And, and, and then he would getup 30 people who were there to
learn the basics.
And he would spew out all thisinformation.
and it was like, okay, great.
We get it, dude.
Like, you know what you'retalking about, but like, how,
how are you going to translatethat higher level knowledge that
you have into somethingapplicable and tangible for
Sally that just walked in anddoesn't know how to pick up a

(36:37):
weight safely.
Right.
And so, and the best coaches arethe ones who are able to
translate that.
The, the absolute best coachesare the ones who are able to get
the clients to do the things.
Right.
And.
And if your clients are notdoing the things, they might not
understand what you're askingthem to do.

(36:57):
And if they don't understandwhat you're asking them to do,
you need to look at the way thatyou're communicating it.
And I find that the coaches whospend the most time learning and
learning and learning beforethey actually practice are the
ones who don't know how tocommunicate it best.
They don't know how tocommunicate it effectively.
They're too in their head.
They're too smart.
So there's actually a chance ofit doing you a disservice.
Like it's doing the opposite ofwhat you actually want it to do.

(37:20):
Like I was listening to, I had aQ and a with Sam Miller.
If he's a sofa and he's sosmart, he has a business called
the metabolism school, and youcan follow him on Instagram.
And we had a great Q and a withhim yesterday.
And.
And while we were listening tohim, we were talking about
everything from gut health tohormones, to PCOS, to metabolic
restoration and adaptation andeverything like these higher

(37:42):
level things that yes, a lot ofcoaches need to understand if
there's working with clients oneon one.
And as he's talking about it, Iget into my own head for sure,
where I'm like, Oh, I need tolearn more about that.
And I need to learn more aboutthat.
And you need to refresh on this.
And what course can I take next?
And da, da, da, And I mean,until probably 9pm last night, I

(38:03):
need to snap myself out of it,where it's like, no, I have the
things that I need, I can alwaystake an extra course later if I
want to,

Aimee (38:09):
but like,

Robyn (38:11):
no, like, just, you don't need an extra number or letter
behind your name, it's really,like, get, get the basics, go
practice.
And then use that to figure outwhat you want to do next.

Aimee (38:22):
Right, right.

Robyn (38:24):
Yeah.

Aimee (38:24):
I think it's a way that those of us in the field get
caught in, it's another form ofperfection, right?
If I just know enough, then I'llbe good enough that I can
essentially overcome my owninsecurities.
that's not what makes you goodenough.
I mean, there are a lot ofconfident idiots out there with

(38:44):
huge Instagram followings whodon't know shit.
Okay, so confidence isn't, like,that's not necessarily the
answer.

Robyn (38:52):
Confident idiots, that's, that's the majority of coaches
online these days, like, andthis is Oh my god.
Talk about Talking about tryingto put like, okay, I feel myself
getting to this point of likethe same screw it point that I
got to like my physical bodycomposition, I am like on the

(39:13):
verge of getting there with likesocial media and online and all
that bullshit.
Okay.
Like I am so over it.
I'm so over the day in day outtrying to, trying to play with
these.
Yeah, confident idiots on socialmedia who have massive

(39:33):
followings.
And so what, like, for me, like,I, I see that and, I get my
head.
I'm like, Okay, I need to createthis content.
I need to create that.
And I'm going to do somethinglike that.
And I'm going to put thatbecause obviously that's what
people want to see because theyhave a big following and I need
more followers and I need moreclients and I want more clients
and da, da, da, da.
So then I put myself

Aimee (39:53):
too.

Robyn (39:53):
Yeah.
Right.
And then you start creating thiscontent, but you don't like
creating it.
So you feel resistance and thenyou post it and you're not
getting the likes that you want.
So you're like, like, what thehell is, why is this even like
worth it?
And it's just this nasty cycleand hashtag my life.
Right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like I, and I'm over it.
I'm so over it.
I've been on the onlinecoaching, like strictly online

(40:16):
coaching for seven years now, ormaybe not even seven years.
We started in person.
So I should say maybe like four,four years.
And, I'm like done.
I'm like, I'm so fricking done.
Like I am ready to just startsaying what I want to say.
And I started posting like I didmy first video on Instagram the

(40:36):
other day where it's like here'sday one of me just like talking
about the things that I want totalk about because I don't know
if you do this but like thedeadly like.
doomscrolling of like trying toget inspiration for content.
Done.
Done with that.
Like, yeah, it's, it's everybodyand their cousin's dog walker is

(40:57):
a nutrition coach these

Aimee (40:58):
days.
I know.
I know.
It's actually why I started thispodcast was because I can't.
I can't stand social media.
I can't stand that game.
I can't stand the, you know,give 30 percent of your income
to Zuckerberg for ad space sothat it's seen because you can't
even get seen because the spaceis crowded.

(41:18):
Right.
And, and the churn out like justchurn out the more vomit for
people to consume And it takesme away from what I want to be
doing.
And then, you know, between thatpressure and then all of the
social pressure during thepandemic to only speak and think

(41:40):
and behave in one way that wasacceptable.
And I just, you know, I reachedmy breaking point and I'm like,
fuck social, fuck the algorithm,fuck like.
Being politically correct,because now, now there is no way
to be politically correct,because everything you say,

(42:02):
somebody will take offense toand try and cancel you.
So I'm gonna start of a podcastwhere I say whatever the fuck I
want, because Here we are,because it doesn't matter
anymore.
It doesn't matter.
But the

Robyn (42:15):
the other amazing thing about this, this medium, the
medium of a podcast, is we havean hour.
To add context to theconversation.
We have an hour to add nuanceand gray areas and explain our,
ways of thinking where, youknow, every time I pick up a
phone to record myself sayingsomething, I immediately see

(42:38):
that clock ticking and say, Ohmy God, I only have a minute to
get out what I want to say.
And if I don't say it all in theright way, then I start, you
know, and, and then you recordit.
And then I prevent myself fromactually posting it because I'm
like, okay.
Maybe I didn't address that, ormaybe I said something wrong
here.
Maybe I need to explain thatmore.
Maybe somebody is going to takeoffense to this particular word

(42:59):
that I said there, like whateverit is.
So the, the inherent nature ofInstagram is to capture and
retain attention very, very,very quickly.
And I'm just inherently not thattype of person.
And, I like, I don't do thisintentionally, obviously, but I

(43:20):
sometimes don't give off a verygood first impression when I
walk into a room, it's justsomething I've been told.
It's, and it's, and I've beenworking on it for years and
years and years.
But even when I started coachingat a gym, Like a long time ago,
I was a member at the gymbefore, before I was a coach.
And then when I became a coach,I obviously started like talking

(43:40):
more and like, coaching andpeople would come up to me and
they're like, Oh my God, Ithought you were so like
intimidating when you were justa member here.
And I'm like, what?
It's like, what are you talkingabout?
And, and then I, since then I'veheard, you know, at least a good
handful of people say like, Ithought you were so intimidating
before I got to know you.
And I'm like, well, like that.
Okay.
Okay.
That is exactly why I have ahard time on social media

(44:04):
because social media is justfirst impressions,

Aimee (44:07):
right?

Robyn (44:08):
You have an instant to get somebody's attention.
And if they don't like you inthe first second, then, You
know, tough luck.
And so, but what's nice aboutit, what does benefit me is once
they do follow me, like I have agreat community of dedicated
followers, which is amazing.
And I have a great Facebookcommunity, but for some reason,

(44:29):
I have a hard time on, on theInstagram and like TikTok and
stuff like that, where I feellike what I'm putting out there
is not really just my true selfbecause my true self is I like
to talk a lot.
I like to add context.
I like to chat and, and makesure that you, the podcast host,
or you, the listener, are reallytruly understanding my

(44:51):
intentions and what I'm tryingto say and The meaning behind it
and all that stuff.
And I just don't think there'san opportunity to do that really
on Instagram.
And yeah, it's, which is, whichis the reason why I'm trying to
go more like in person andcreate partnerships and do live
events and stuff like that,because then I have that chance
to really show who I am in frontof you, you know?

Aimee (45:11):
Yeah, exactly.
I think too, I mean, that's Thatis appropriate because I, I
believe that there are manypeople who have essentially
binged too much on the candythat is Instagram.
They have a stomach ache andthey want a nourishing meal.

Robyn (45:32):
Do a little golf clap for that one.
They're like, this doesn't feelso good anymore.

Aimee (45:40):
Yeah, right.
Yeah.
Funny show adolescent girls arereally fucked up because of all
this.
Maybe we should try somethingelse.

Robyn (45:50):
Yeah.
Oh my god.
Yeah, exactly.
You know, this is so like,unrelated but sort of related.
I'm so excited for like, Okay,the new generation of children
being born is going to be sointeresting because they are the
children of the, millennials whoare getting sick of social

(46:10):
media.

Aimee (46:11):
Yeah.

Robyn (46:12):
So it's going to be interesting to see how they're
raised.
I mean, all of my friends aretrying to raise their kids with,
no social media, only get phoneswhen you're a certain age, like,
because that's how we were grownup and we also see what's
happening.
So I'm so.
Curious to see, like, how, thisnew generation, grows up.
I mean, obviously you put themin school and then, like,
they're probably just getcorrupt anyways because all

(46:34):
their friends are doing it andall this stuff, but

Aimee (46:36):
Perhaps not that generation.
I will say, um, so I have a son.
He's 10.
Okay.
And he's been in Montessorisince the beginning.

Robyn (46:45):
Amazing.

Aimee (46:46):
Being in Montessori in one of the major tech cities in
the United States, is different.
In a Montessori school.
Hey, yeah.
They're both the sameMontessori, for those of you who
know Montessori, they're both,the original Montessori method,

(47:07):
not the American MontessoriInternational, but the, like,
the original O.
G.
Maria or Bust Montessori method.
And so in, in the United States,you know, no screens in the
classroom.
Um, it was a screen free school.
However, what I'm seeing here inEurope is I swear to you, every

(47:32):
two or three months, there is apanel, some kind of expert, some
kind of like, let's gather theparents into the auditorium and
remind them that screen time forchildren is detrimental to their
physical and mental health.
It is drilled in over and overand over again.

(47:52):
And the school has a verystrict, very overt, clear policy
that they do not believe anychild can Should be having a
cell phone if they are under theage of 16.
Yeah.
Certainly not any exposure tosocial media at all.
And that their iPad time, theirscreen time should be severely

(48:15):
limited to, I don't even knowit.
It's so low and we've not beenable to bring it within their
standards.
But it's.
I won't even make up a numberbecause I, I can't even think
off the top of my head.
Like a couple hours a week

Robyn (48:30):
type

Aimee (48:30):
thing.
Yeah.
Something like that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That is a level that we will aimto bit by bit.
But, and I, I love it.
I don't know to what degree theparents are actually adhering to
this.
but certainly in, in a Europeanculture, there is not the There
isn't the societal pressure toput cell phones in children's

(48:53):
hands at a young age becausethere is more of an expectation
that the community will supportthe child to some degree, that
the other adults in theneighborhood aren't out to get
you and your children, they'renot going to kidnap or murder
child.
Yeah.
And that.
That children are taken care of,that's still that's still a

(49:15):
prevailing belief here.
And so I think there isn't asmuch of a need or a perceived
need, right?
And children also are not ascoddled here as they are in the
United States.
they are free roaming.
They start going, you know, outinto the park to play by
themselves when they're, youknow, seven years old Yeah, and
so they have more autonomy, morestreet smarts because they're

(49:37):
exposed to that.
Yeah, life experience that we asparents, we are not allowed to
give our Children.

Robyn (49:48):
Yeah.
Right.
It's crazy.
I think they need that.
They need, they need to learn,they need to be in front of
human real life people to startto understand, read body
language, read, communicate,because that's where you get,
like, that's where ultimatelyyou build your own safety is the

(50:10):
ability to, understand whensomeone's sketchy or when
someone's not and differentiatebetween somebody who's giving
you a bad vibe and versussomebody who's not when you're
at the park playing alone you donot get that on social media
when people are all putting on abit on social media right like
you don't you can't pick that uplike there's no freaking way so

(50:32):
just

Aimee (50:32):
as yeah just as we who are looking to find that middle
balance with our health toEncounter those challenges to
learn and grow that result.
Oh, right.
So to do our children need tofall on the playground, tumble

(50:52):
off the jungle gym, scrape anddo and learn that they are
resilient and can survive thesmall things.
When they're young.
So that way when they'reteenagers and their hormones are
going completely off the walland they're impulsive, they're
impulsive as they were whenthey're toddlers, but now more
apt to do crazy ass shit, likedriving and heroin that they've

(51:19):
got, they've got some kind oflike exposure to street smarts,
but otherwise it's just like.
Yeah, it's the consequences aremuch more dire.

Robyn (51:29):
Yes.
Oh, yeah, exactly.
Exactly.
That's hilarious.
And I could not agree more.
I love that conversation.
And obviously, I don't have Idon't have the parenting
experience to bring to the tablethere.
But I will and we're ready forit.
I'm excited.

Aimee (51:42):
Yeah, I'm excited for you too.
It's definitely a wild ride.
You want to wrap up shortly, butI do not want to leave this
conversation Without you sharingsome of your tips and
experiences with developing asense of consistency and a sense
of that middle ground, with.

(52:05):
ADHD.

Robyn (52:08):
Oh my god.
Well this is, yeah, this is likewhen I said earlier on that this
is something I'm learning whenit comes to, like still in the
middle of, when it comes to,like abandoning perfection, this
is, I am in the thick of thisone.
So, because I was only diagnosedwith ADHD a year ago.

(52:29):
Right, obviously like, yeah.
So, I was diagnosed with ADHD.
Well, I mean, obviously I've hadit.
You don't really know what it isor I didn't even really
understand it or what was goingon in my brain or where my
anxiety was stemming from, I wasseeing my therapist very
regularly and went to apsychiatrist and all that stuff.

(52:50):
And they finally diagnosed meand, and all this stuff.
And, and I think that.
What was it?
What was your question?

Aimee (53:00):
Speaking of ADHD.

Robyn (53:02):
Yeah, speaking of ADHD, what was the question about,
about ADHD?

Aimee (53:07):
Just strategies that you use to maintain that consistency
with the habits.
Strategies.
Okay, yeah.

Robyn (53:14):
Consistency.
That was the word.
I was like, what is the word?
Consistency.
So, we talked a lot aboutpreparedness and planning.
I think literally the only waythat I've been able to stay
consistent with my workouts, myeating, or whatever, is when I
know what I'm going to be doing,right?

(53:34):
and the first time I realizedthis, way before I was even
diagnosed with ADHD, but I hadthis tendency of going into the
gym without a plan, and I woulddo, Which some people can do.
Some people who do are very,neurotypical, can do.
Okay?
they can go into a gym and theycan be like, okay, I'm gonna do
this, this, and this, and theygo, I, without a plan, would go
into a gym, and I would,, stareat the equipment, And then I

(53:57):
would go over there and do like30 seconds on something, and
then I would go over there anddo another thing, and then I
would go over there and doanother set, and then I would go
over there and do another set,and then I would leave the gym
feeling very scatterbrained andunaccomplished.
I'd be like, oh, I just spent anhour in the gym, but what the
heck did I do?
There was no intention, therewas no planning, there was no
structure.
And so once I realized that whatI needed was structure in the

(54:19):
gym, I would then write out on apiece of paper, I would go to my
like coach or like somebody,create a plan, create a program,
go into the gym and go throughthe program and what was written
in order and I would feel that Iwould leave that gym feeling Way
better.
I'd be like, Oh, I had to do thebest workout because I followed
the plan.
But if you put that piece ofpaper, the program that I did

(54:42):
versus if I wrote down all thescattered random things that I
did, the amount of work isprobably the same, right?
The amount of like outputprobably done in those two
workouts were the same, but likethe feeling after that I got of
accomplishing something that wasplanned out ahead of time was
like a dopamine hit to me.
And obviously people, with ADHD,they need those dopamine hits.

Aimee (55:04):
In

Robyn (55:04):
order to keep them engaged and keep them acting on
things that they want to beacting on, right?
Like, nobody with ADHD is goingto do anything that doesn't give
them, like, a shot of dopamine.
So I recognize that, yeah.
I imagine

Aimee (55:17):
that would help with the anxiety because you have a plan,
you know what to do, you do it,and say, I did

Robyn (55:21):
it.
Exactly.
And I started realizing for methat my dopamine hits were
coming from checking things off.
And to this day, I love creatinga to do list and checking those
things off the to do list.
Like when I can cross that off,I'm like, shit, I feel good.
Yeah.
So So then I, so I realized thatand then I started to bring that

(55:43):
over slowly into like my eatingand I mean, a huge trait that
women with ADHD have is theirmeals are so unorganized,
they'll go, go to the kitchenand grab a bite of this and
they'll go and they'll have aspoon of peanut butter and
they'll call that a meal.
And, they're their brain can'tcomprehend how to plan out and

(56:04):
structure a wholesome,nutritious meal.
And I was very, very similar, Istill have obviously tendencies
of just going into the kitchenand grabbing something, without
even like planning it.
and so in the kitchen, I woulddo similar to kind of what you
do now, just kind of menu plan.
I don't really meal plannecessarily.
Like I don't really likespending hours in the kitchen.

(56:25):
I really don't like cooking.
So I don't really spend thattime making a bunch of amazing
meals, but I do spend the timethinking about what I'm going to
eat.
And then I just make sure thatmy fridge is stocked with those
things, right?
So if like, I have to takeregular inventory of what's in
my fridge, because if somethingis not there, then that's where

(56:48):
my brain will go to, Oh, I'lljust have something else.
And then if I have somethingelse and I feel like I'm off
track and I no longer check thatthing off the to do list, so my,
so the dopamine hit is no longerthere.
Whereas if I eat what wasplanned ahead of time, then I
get that dopamine hit and I feelreally good about it and I can
keep going.

(57:08):
So I think, for me, I started toreally understand and recognize
like, where my dopamine hitscame from, what triggered them,
what took them away, like what,you know, how, what made me feel
good, basically.
And then I would just start toimplement little like strategy
systems, like planning ahead oftime, things like here and
there.
And, and that's just reallyhelped me become, uh, become

(57:29):
consistent.
It's so interesting that, I hadall of those things in place
well before I was even diagnosedwith ADHD, I just thought it was
who I was, like, I didn't evenhave a name for it, dopamine
hits, whatever, like, it wasjust kind of how I operated.
But, obviously when you getdiagnosed with it, you're like,
holy shit, that makes sense.
Like, you're like, wow, like,that my whole life is explained,

(57:50):
like, that's really cool.
So.
That's been really helpful forme, and being on medication that
helps, like I am very, I'm ahuge advocate for modern
medicine, huge advocate forsomebody, not being ashamed or
afraid to get help via,medication.
If it's the right thing for you,it's totally changed my life.

(58:11):
I, and now this is for mepersonally too, I am on anxiety
medication, not on ADHDmedication.
I'm thinking of going back onit, but I have ADHD induced
anxiety.
So I find that like women who, alot of women who have ADHD will
also have anxiety.

(58:31):
Like it's very common for themto go together.
and it can go either way, whereI think some women will have,
um, get kind of ADHD tendenciesand symptoms because they're
feeling anxious, and then otherwomen will get anxiety because
of their ADHD.
And so I have the latter, whereif I find that if I can just,

(58:51):
control my anxiety, then I canmanage the ADHD symptoms way
better on my own.
So that's why I chose to go onanxiety medication.
and I find that really justhelps me regulate my thinking
and everything like that.
I was on ADHD medication and Ididn't experiment with a ton.
There's so many, right?
Like there's so, so many, and Iknow it takes a while to find

(59:13):
the one that's right for you.
And so I did it for a bit, but Ijust found that if, as long as I
went back on, cause I was off myanxiety medication and I was
totally medication free forabout a year and it was the
toughest year of my life, and ittook me like a while to not just
pun intended, swallow the pillof the fact that I needed to be
back on it.
But also even just putting thetwo together where it's like,

(59:34):
holy shit, like I need to beback on it.
And I totally didn't evenrealize.
So I went back on my anxietymedication.
As soon as I went back on, I waslike, okay, like I can manage
this, you know?
And so I just, I'm a hugeadvocate for that.
And I'm making sure that youfind what's going to work for
you.

Aimee (59:49):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Finding the right medication.
Like if the right medication isout there for you, finding it,
such a game changer for people.

Robyn (59:57):
It's life changing.
It's 100 percent life changing.
And, this can be a total otherpodcast episode, but, like, just
being an advocate for your ownhealth is something, probably,
like, the thing I am mostpassionate about.
I'm, me and a woman here inKingston, where I live, we're
gonna start a non profitorganization for women to, Be

(01:00:18):
able to connect easily with,health professionals and
specific fields, so they cantake their health into their own
hands and I'm like, this is awhole like side project that
we're going to do and I'm very,very, very excited about it.
But the reason I bring this upis because, I have an old white
man of a doctor.
Okay.
And every time I go to him, Ihave to, push for things.

(01:00:39):
And, what were we oh yeah, thelast time I chatted with him, I
told I was like, I'm gonna takemy IUD out, he was asking me
about, cause it's theexpiration's coming up, and I
was like, yeah, I'm gonna takeit out, my husband and I want to
start trying for kids, and he'slike, you're on sertraline.
And I'm like, yeah, I'm onsertraline.
And he's like, well, you need toget off of it.
And I'm like, no, I don't.

(01:01:01):
And he's like, yeah, you need toget off of it if you're going to
be pregnant.
You can't be on anxietymedication.
And I'm like, yes, I can.
and like, I've done my research.
my sister in law is a doctor.
Like, I know that your old whiteman way of thinking is not up to
date.
And, and I know that the smallrisk of me being on 50

(01:01:24):
milligrams, which is a smalldosage of sertraline while being
pregnant, totally out, like thebenefits of that totally
outweighs the potential mentalhealth crisis that I could go
through while being pregnant offmedication.
Right.
You know, so I would, I willrather take that risk because I

(01:01:44):
do not want to go through likepotent, like maybe I still will
go through postpartumdepression, but it might not be
as severe as it would be as if Iwere off of it, you know?
So I had to like really like putmy foot down with him and say
no, I'm going to stay on it.
And he was like, oh, okay,that's fine.
And I was like, yeah, I justthink.
Bro, like,

Aimee (01:02:03):
he just said, no, you can't.
And then when you pushed back,he was like, okay.
Yep.
Yep.

Robyn (01:02:07):
What?
Yep.
And he does, he's done thisreally good.
And I, and I know other womenwho experienced the same thing
with like their, their doctors,right.
Where it's like, they'll say onething and you, and, but.
But a lot of women won't pushback.
Right?
And I'm so fearful of that,where they won't push back and
they won't, they'll, they'll goover, they'll follow what,
exactly what their doctor says,and I get it.

(01:02:28):
Don't get, like, I want to bevery clear where it's like,
there is zero judgment,obviously, because your doctor
is a figure that you're supposedto trust, and you're supposed
to, so I get it.
But I just think like with theavailability of information
these days and the amount ofresources that are out there,
you can take your health intoyour own hands.
You can talk to multiple people.
You can get different opinions.

(01:02:49):
You can, and the only personthat knows your body best is
you.
And, and so if you know thatsomething's right for you, I
think it's necessary for you tolike put your foot down and say,
no, I know this about myself.
I need to do this for me.
And there's, they're probablygoing to like, You know, if you
do it, they'll probably giveyou, be like, okay, you're like,
yeah, fine.
And that's exactly what theydid.

(01:03:10):
He's like, yeah, okay.

Aimee (01:03:12):
Okay, great.
So it wasn't even like arigidly, strongly held opinion
of himself.
It was probably just like, youknow,

Robyn (01:03:21):
This is what I think.

Aimee (01:03:23):
This is

Robyn (01:03:23):
what

Aimee (01:03:23):
I read in a conference

Robyn (01:03:24):
30

Aimee (01:03:25):
years ago.

Robyn (01:03:27):
This is what I read in my textbook while I was in school,
you know, back in the 1950s.
And so, you know, I'm just goingto stick by the book.
Yeah.
And, I

Aimee (01:03:36):
mean, I think, and this is when, you know, in, in you're
in Canada, I know that theydon't have quite the, uh,
pharmaceutical commercial Prush.
Yeah.
In Canada that they have in theStates, but, for those of you
who are American and arelistening, when they say in the
medication commercials, have aconversation with your doctor,

(01:04:01):
that means you can askquestions,

Robyn (01:04:03):
right?

Aimee (01:04:04):
If your doctor says something to you that has you
feeling like, I don't thinkthat's correct for me, ask them
why they think that way.
What, why, where is theirreasoning coming from?
Because they may not knowinformation that you know, Which
is, you know, in your instance,I, it is not worth it to me to

(01:04:27):
go through a mental healthcrisis while pregnant if I go
off this medication.
When my sister in law, who's aphysician and everything that
I've seen, you know, doing myGoogle research, which
admittedly is not a medicaldegree.
Yeah.
Yes.
Let's be clear.
Yeah.
Indicates that this isn't, thisisn't a all or nothing

(01:04:50):
situation, right?
This isn't an absolute hard no.

Robyn (01:04:54):
Exactly.
There are grey, there are greyareas as there are grey areas to
a lot of health.
Right.
And, um, and yeah, I think, uh,so what you said there is
important to like health care inCanada is so different than
health care in the States.
And I mean, there's so manygetting a family doctor in most
cities in Canada right now isnext to impossible.
Right.
So there are So there arethousands and thousands and

(01:05:16):
thousands of people who don'thave a physician that they can
trust or they can go to to askquestions.
So then what happens, that'swhen they go on TikTok and
Google and they startresearching for themselves.
And I, and yes, while it is nota 100%, it's not a medical
degree by any chance, but peoplehave gotten really good at it.
And they've started to figureout who like people that they

(01:05:37):
can go to just ask questions tostart putting, putting together
the pieces for themselves.
Because that's.
Quite literally the only optionthat they have, unfortunately,
they don't have that trustedresource.
They don't have that trustedfigure that they can go to.
And so I am very lucky that I dohave a family doctor and that I
can go to, but at the same time,I know that he's, you know, he
questioned me when I wanted togo on ADHD.

(01:05:57):
He told me I didn't have ADHD.
He told me, you know, all thesethings and I'm like, you don't
fucking know me from a hole inthe wall.
Like, you know, like I, and, andso, yeah, it's different.
It's totally.
Kind of bogus sometimes, butanyways, that's a whole other
conversation.
I think we can save for a rainyday.

Aimee (01:06:15):
Yeah, the state of health care in North America is like,
let's not even go there.

Robyn (01:06:20):
Yeah.

Aimee (01:06:25):
Robyn, it has been such a delight to get to spend this
time with you.
I'm so glad that we, that wedid.
So if people want to find you,can they still follow you on
social?
Yes,

Robyn (01:06:46):
absolutely.
I'm not going anywhere on socialmedia.
I'm just gonna, I'm all I'mgonna do is just switch the way
that I kind of.
Uh, approach it, I guess.
So, um, Robyn with a Y, RobynShaw Jarvis, is my, personal
slash My health like coachingaccount on Instagram, so you can
totally follow me on Instagram.

(01:07:07):
but my website where everythinglives is bod z.com, so B-O-D-Z-Z
II for Americans, um, B-O-D-Z-Ii.com.
And then once you're there, likeyou can click anywhere and find
me on all the platforms andstuff like that.
So that's probably the easiestplace to go.

Aimee (01:07:22):
Awesome.
And for those who want to readyour book, what is the book?
And we're yes,

Robyn (01:07:27):
absolutely.
Hustle but healthy, the fivepillars of sustainable wellness
and weight loss for busy women.
So yeah, I just searched hustlebut healthy on Amazon or Barnes
and Noble, and you can get acopy of it there.
And that honestly is the bestplace to start, right?
Like it is, my history ofcoaching try and summed up in a
few hundred pages and it's,Talks a lot about what we did

(01:07:48):
today, but it kind of just goesover my whole, like, belief and
philosophy on how to approach,health and women's wellness and
even, weight loss and stuff likethat.
So,

Aimee (01:07:56):
yeah.
Excellent.
All right.
I, I'd love to have you back totalk about that book in an
episode, and go over those fivepillars with you.
That would be fantastic.

Robyn (01:08:09):
Amazing.
Let's do it.
All

Aimee (01:08:11):
right.
Super.
All right.
Thank you so much for having me.
Yeah, absolutely.
My pleasure.
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Listening to this podcast doesnot constitute a provider client
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(01:08:35):
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