September 8, 2024 • 31 mins
In this powerful episode, Rebekah Scott shares her journey of harmonizing work, family, and faith. Rebekah candidly recounts a pivotal moment when she realized that balance was not the answer—harmony was. By reassessing her priorities and focusing on what truly mattered, she transformed her life and business. Through her inspiring story, listeners will gain valuable insights into the importance of defining success on their own terms and embracing the seasons of life.
Rebekah also delves into the practical steps she took to find harmony, such as journaling her time and creating systems that supported her priorities. With her refreshing honesty and practical wisdom, this episode encourages people to pursue their passions while staying true to their core values. Whether you’re a busy entrepreneur, or a dedicated mom, Rebekah’s story will resonate and inspire you to create a life that reflects what matters most.
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Episode Transcript
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(00:08):
Wherever there are shadows, there are people ready to kick at the darkness until it bleeds daylight.
This is Bleeding Daylight with your host, Rodney Olsen.
Welcome.
Thanks for listening.
Keep the conversation going by connecting with Bleeding Daylight on Facebook, Instagram, TikTok or other social media platforms.
(00:29):
You'll find all the links at bleedingdaylight.net, as well as dozens of other episodes of Bleeding Daylight, featuring some remarkable people sharing their own extraordinary stories.
Juggling all that life asks of us can be anywhere from difficult to sometimes devastating.
(00:50):
Today's guest helps others harmonise priorities to find a better way.
I'm so pleased today to introduce my guest, Rebecca Scott, a dynamic and inspirational speaker and podcaster who loves Jesus and understands the power of encouragement.
(01:15):
Rebecca's passion is to help parents and business owners balance home and work life with joy and less hustle.
Rebecca found herself overwhelmed until God intervened, guiding her towards a more manageable and fulfilling path.
Rebecca now empowers others to embrace their roles with clarity and confidence.
(01:37):
Rebecca, welcome to Bleeding Daylight.
Hey, thank you so much for having me on the podcast.
This will be fun.
We all play several roles in our lives.
Finding the right balance between all those roles can sometimes range from difficult to almost impossible at times.
Tell me about the roles that you were juggling when you came to somewhat of a tipping point.
(01:58):
Yeah.
Well, first off, if you're tired of hearing the word balance, it's such a gross word.
I use the word harmonise because I'm like, if anybody's ever tried to balance anything, one side is always losing.
So, one of the things that I'm like, I'll just tell people, use the word harmonise because you're trying to do both.
The tipping point for me was my business was 18 months old and my son, my firstborn son was 18 months old as well.
(02:22):
And I was packing for an art show, which is kind of like a market or a festival or something like that.
So, I was packing my purses.
I sew and design and I have a purse business where I actually make them.
And I was packing my van with all of the products.
My email notifications were going off.
My landline at the time was going off.
(02:43):
My toddler kept asking for a snack and the van, because the door was open, kept dinging.
Like there couldn't have been any more alarms going off at once, which is pretty typical for a day sometimes, right?
And my son kept asking me for a snack as I was going by him.
Probably the third or fourth time I said the infamous mom word, you know, like just a minute.
And for whatever reason, the fourth or fifth time or whatever he asked, I screamed at him, stop.
(03:08):
To this day, I can recall his blue eyes welling up, not understanding why I was overreacting.
I just melted in the moment because I knew that is not how I wanted to react to a simple request for a snack.
But I also knew I really wanted to do this show.
The message that I got in the moment was, first of all, just stop, you're overreacting.
(03:32):
And I did give him the snack because a toddler never forgets their snack, right?
And I fell in the fetal position and just sobbed.
I ultimately decided I was not hearing the message, you have to quit.
You've got to raise your kiddos and then you can do what you want.
I heard the message of both.
You can do both.
If that was the message, then I wanted to do both really well.
(03:54):
I did something bold at that time.
I canceled the show for the weekend, which in the art world is a big deal because you will not get invited back.
They think you're like a flighty artist.
So they didn't invite me back for six years, like they were mad.
But I knew in that moment, if I was going to prioritize my family first, I needed to cancel that and figure out how to do this.
In the following week, I decided I would keep a journal.
(04:17):
I just carry this journal with me everywhere.
And I just started recording everything I did during the week.
And then in the next column over, I wrote how long it took me to do it.
Because I wanted to look, I wanted to be able to zoom out and look at this and go, OK, well, how much time am I actually spending with him?
How much time am I checking email?
How much time am I actually sewing?
How much time am I making food?
(04:38):
How much time am I concentrating on myself, getting up, reading my Bible, running, whatever that looks like?
What emerged from that was super interesting.
I realized that there was about five pillars, if you will, or five systems.
There was times I was taking care of myself, my meat system.
There was time when I was creating food, a lot of food, a food system.
(04:58):
There was time I was taking care of my home, doing the laundry, cleaning.
That would be your home system.
There was time that I was taking care of my family and doing devotions with them and living out the legacy that I wanted for them.
There was time that I was working.
And so when I could see that there was five different areas I was operating in, I was like, OK, now I just need to figure out which one of these is the most broke right now, which ones I need to fix, or which one could I start with?
(05:26):
And at that moment, I realized my work system was broke.
I couldn't keep trying to squeeze in 70 hour weeks while raising a toddler.
And we farm and ranch also, you guys, so I literally have chore time with animals.
I can't do 70 hours.
So I started applying just the hours to the work system that I knew would be the most profitable, not necessarily in money, but profitable in return for time and energy at that stage of life.
(05:52):
We live in a world that tells us you can do it all.
And as you say, it's not that you said, OK, I need to just start dropping lots of things.
You said, I do want to continue with the business.
I am raising a toddler.
I do want to be there for my family.
So when we're told we can do it all, we naturally assume I can keep doing it and I must do it at this pace.
(06:16):
So how do we go from that worldly message of yes, do it all to actually let's do it all, but in a sustainable way?
Yes, I think the message is, yes, you can do it all.
And I think you can do it all, just not all at once.
I think we have to get really real about, OK, well, what stage of life am I in?
I'm going to keep listening to the message that success means this.
(06:38):
Have you actually thought about what success for you means?
That may not mean 70 hour weeks.
That may mean just 20 hour weeks.
And it may mean 70 hour weeks when you're trying to grow the business, but maybe just for six weeks.
So really just look back and go, well, what is my version?
And flipping that script also is just making very clear what your priorities are.
And that's another thing that emerged from that transformational week was, OK, my priority is going to be I'm a servant of God.
(07:03):
Then my next priority is going to be a wife.
Then I'm going to be a mom.
And last, I'm going to be a designer and a business owner.
So every decision, every email, every phone call went through this filter of, OK, does this opportunity allow me to serve God?
Does this opportunity allow me to still be a great wife?
Does this opportunity allow me to be a great mom?
And does this opportunity allow me to advance my business or what?
(07:26):
And if any of them were no, I had to just individually pick case by case, like, do I want to do this at all?
And when I got really clear about that, I said no to some actual big opportunities.
But I know that God in the universe would not not let me have those opportunities later on if I honored the setup that he had for me.
And so I thought, OK, this is not an opportunity for right now.
(07:49):
Thank you so much.
Keep me on your email list.
Think of me at yet another time.
But right now, that doesn't fit with my stage of life.
So getting clear on my priorities is a way that you can flip that script of just you can have it all.
Yeah, but maybe just the parts for right now that will be profitable, if you will, for both time and energy in your family.
It's interesting you mentioned that it might be that in the early stages of business, you need to be working that 70 hours a week, but that is not going on forever.
(08:17):
And we do tend to kid ourselves with this idea of, oh, well, it's a season.
But I've heard it said that if there's no end date to the season, that's not a season.
That's your lifestyle.
How do we determine what is a season and what is going to be sustainable?
Well, determining the season, too, I love this part because I frequently in my coaching ask people like, OK, is this is this a new lifestyle or is this a season?
(08:43):
So let's just be clear, because if this is a lifestyle that you want, we're going to have to adjust the systems to equal your 60 hour weeks that you're demanding or 70 hour weeks.
And I would politely tell you that's probably not sustainable.
But if that is what you want, then you need to be clear with your family that this is what it means.
Like, are you going to get up super early or higher or whatever?
But defining a season is important because especially as small business owners, we love what we've come up with.
(09:09):
We want to work nonstop.
But the people in your life, especially family, especially children, will hold you accountable to, hey, didn't you say this is six weeks?
And then mark it on your calendar like, hey, here's the end of it.
This is where we're going to celebrate that that season of growth, if it is if we're talking about a business system or a business project you're working on, that's what we're going to celebrate, because I'm going to finish it up by then.
(09:32):
And then you can have a celebration with your family, whatever that looks like.
But here's also permission.
I've had a couple of projects like that that did not go as streamlined as I wanted.
And by the six week mark, I was like, guys, I'm not done.
But because we were clear about our expectations, I could tell my family, guys, I need two more weeks.
I'm very sorry, but I've got to have two more weeks to wrap this up.
(09:53):
We got behind on a few things.
And they were okay with that because I'm still declaring this season will end and we will stop and we will celebrate and then we'll figure out what the next steps are going to be.
How do we figure out the balance between so many good opportunities, so many good things and what is the best for us?
Because there's a never ending array of good opportunities for us.
(10:16):
And we see that and we think, oh, and sometimes we even spiritualize it and say, well, God has obviously given me this opportunity.
I need to grab it.
And yet we just then work ourselves into the ground.
Okay.
Work in progress, as always, you guys.
But I would go back to that list.
There was some opportunities.
So, for example, I manufacture purses, handcrafted.
(10:38):
I have had manufacturers come to me and say, hey, we can just do it in our building.
But my original vision, and I still have this vision to this day and some days I live it and some days I don't, as far as as clear as it was, is that I would get to sew in home and raise babies.
So, this manufacturing thought process was like, but that would remove me from the home and then I wouldn't get to raise them.
(11:01):
I'd raise them at night, but I wouldn't be with them.
So, politely, nope, that's not what I have planned.
I didn't know it at the time.
But looking back, I'm like being so clear on what my vision for my success was and what I wanted to do with my business helped me be able to say yes and no to opportunities more easily.
I was like, nope, not right now.
I was also asked to speak on some fairly large stages for me and developing my coaching and stuff.
(11:24):
And they landed during sports seasons.
And sports, believe me, is not the end all be all.
But they were important games at that time for that kiddo.
He'd been through some things.
And so, I had to say no, because the business came after my role as mom.
And I said, please, please keep me on your email list.
But I'm going to have to say no this time around because I'm prioritizing X, Y, Z.
(11:48):
And there's a really gentle way to always say no, but not like a hard pass, but like a friendly no would be to say, oh, man, thank you so much for this opportunity.
But I am prioritizing X, Y, Z, whatever that is, because it's such a kind way to deliver like, this is amazing.
I'm acknowledging and honoring that, man, this could be really cool.
I'm so happy you thought about me.
(12:09):
However, I have this priority, because when you use priority, there's an immediate like, ooh, ooh, priority is a big thing.
We just think of that word as like, okay, priority is an honoree.
And the amount of emails I get back when I have had no's that were a friendly no, they're like, that's amazing.
Thank you for leading with that your family is important.
It gives us permission to make our families first too.
The opportunities are still open, but I'm pretty good at saying no now.
(12:33):
One of the things I love is that you've mentioned that this is a work in progress.
So much of what you're talking about is stuff that you're still dealing with from day to day.
How important is it for us when we find ourselves in those times where, ooh, that didn't go how I wanted, that didn't go according to my plan to give ourselves permission to say, okay, this is a temporary glitch.
(12:56):
I'm still working with it rather than just thinking the whole thing is just not working.
I think it's a reflection time for yourself.
A good question before you take a project on or something that you were like, okay, we're doing it, is to always play out worst case scenario and best case scenario.
And the worst is going to be like, well, we have to quit or whatever.
And the best case scenario is, okay, this is going to be amazing.
(13:16):
And by asking those questions first, and if the opportunity does fall flat, it's like, okay, well, especially as a leader, what can I learn?
And blame yourself for all of it because you are ultimately responsible.
Take away the pieces that you could learn, but don't just think that it's a moment where you have to quit.
In some instances, there are cases where you're like, okay, I actually do need to stop this.
(13:38):
But most cases, you just need a break.
You just need to think about it and how you go about it a little bit different the next time.
But most cases are not a diehard quit.
You're the one who knows the ugly details, but not everybody does.
Not everybody is having the voice in your head that says you failed.
First of all, that is not God.
That's you being hard on yourself or Satan himself.
(14:00):
But just sit with it for a little bit and figure out how you're going to switch.
How often do we need to go back and reprioritize?
Because we can start with a set of priorities and put them in place.
And then as life happens, life throws all sorts of curveballs at us, and they might not necessarily fit with those priorities that we've set up.
(14:22):
So, how often do we have to go back to those priorities?
Well, I could speak for myself.
I have my priorities listed in three different places in my house.
Because of my entrepreneur ways and my like, ooh, this will be fun, let's try this.
I move pretty fastly and I'm very energetic.
I do put them in three different places because the first place you put it in your house, whatever your priority list is, you're going to forget it because it just becomes part of the background.
(14:48):
But the other place I put it is on my mirror in my bathroom so that as I'm getting ready in the morning, I'm like, okay, here are the decisions I'm making today.
I'm a surf guy.
I'm going to ask Nicholas, my husband, if he needs any help today.
Oh, and that's right, I got those things set up for the kids.
I'm going to read an affirmation to him that morning.
And then, oh yeah, I got some cool work stuff going on.
But ooh, the work stuff looks like it's really crowded today, and that will not allow me to be very present at supper.
(15:11):
So, I'm going to ask my assistant to help me move a few things around.
So, it's a constant reminder.
And then the other place I have it sitting now is the fridge because I visit the fridge a lot.
So, the other place I have my priority list.
And it also allows my family to keep seeing that these are mom's priorities.
And I'm raising three daughters also.
So, I love for them to see like, okay, mom's still got them in check.
I definitely visit daily and sometimes hourly.
(15:33):
And I guess that's part of the key.
So often we can set priorities, we can set directions, we can set even reminders of things that we have to do, but they go down in notebooks somewhere or online somewhere.
And we never visit it again.
So, what you're talking about is ensuring that those things that we have put in place remain front of mind.
(15:55):
And it doesn't seem very business-like to be putting that on a fridge, but that's what works.
So, we need to find the thing that works, don't we?
Oh, yeah.
You have to do the most practical thing for you.
So, I'm obviously old school and I like paper and pencil and all that stuff.
But if it's digitally for you, it's the background of your cell phone, go for it.
And here's another permission around me is that it may not always be the same.
(16:18):
Your priority list may change in the order for a different season.
So, maybe you have an ailing parent you need to take care of, that may move up.
Or somebody in the family was diagnosed with something, that may move up.
You're on a work project, you're like, okay, it's still last.
But like for us, we farm and ranch.
So, we have a meeting with our family about harvest season.
It's crazy.
My husband is out till two or three in the morning.
(16:40):
That work for him is a priority because we have a small window to get the crops in.
And so, that becomes a high priority.
And so, we just talk with Sam like, hey, harvest season is coming up.
This is what it means.
This is the hours that it's going to take.
This is how we're going to show Danny that we love him and we support him.
Just also be gentle with yourself that your priority list can also change.
And it may just be some evolving for yourself.
(17:02):
You're like, you know what?
I'm going to move this up on my priority list.
You can do that.
These priorities obviously need to be put in place.
They need to be in a place where we can see them.
But how do we stop our family from starting to perceive that they're just one on a list of priorities?
And it's, no, mum hasn't got the opportunity to prioritize you at the moment.
(17:24):
The priority right now is this.
How do we actually seamlessly integrate that into our life so that our family feel that we're present with them so that if we're dealing with a client or someone at work that we feel very present with them rather than just, sorry, we've run out of priority for you right now?
Oh, gosh.
(17:45):
Okay.
Well, that's a good question.
I think it's maybe multiple things.
It's reminding them consistently.
So, in my studio right here, a kiddo comes up.
I'm still in the middle of a workday, which they know I have some hours that work within.
And they're like, mum, come watch us in the swimming pool.
I love that.
That is going to be fun.
I'm going to treat that as my reward.
(18:05):
After I finish this pile of purses, I'll be out.
And the kid's like, mum, well, how long is that going to take?
And because I've timed almost all of my tasks, I'm like, it'll be 45 minutes.
So, it's a little bit longer, but then I'll be out and I will prioritize that.
And so, even hearing the word prioritize clues them into, okay, mum does think it's important, but they also have to honor that, okay, I do got to finish my work.
(18:28):
And then clear, we talk a lot about expectations in my house.
And so, it's like, hey, expectations today, mum is back to back interviews.
So, here's what that means for you guys.
I can't prioritize lunch, so I'm going to assign that to someone else.
But when I get done at six o'clock with the last interview, it's cool time, baby.
We're going to do this, this and this.
So, talking through expectations with your children helps them to also understand what your priorities are for the day and honor both, and then reverse it.
(18:55):
Hey, kiddo, what was your priorities for today?
How can we make sure that that happens?
So, that there's a natural like, oh, look, we're harmonizing each other's lives.
Like, was your priority to get to the pool or did you actually want to go for a ride?
We ride horses frequently.
I'm like, you know what?
I want to go for the ride.
I'm like, okay.
Well, then instead of the pool, we'll go for a ride.
So, just everybody talking about what their priorities are and trying to meet that and cut down expectations if they're like, because we have that a lot too.
(19:21):
You're like, well, I expected that we were going to go get ice cream.
I'm like, sorry, that is not happening today, but maybe we could do that another time.
So, I think expectations, talking about priorities and asking them what their priorities are as well is very beneficial.
What I'm very aware of in that situation is that your kids are learning about this.
The thing that we want the most is to bring our children up well.
(19:45):
And yes, there's always that tug to immediately go to what they want right now.
And yet, that's not actually teaching them real life because real life is not going to treat them like that.
But you're actually giving them the keys to be able to prioritize and to be able to work well when they get to that stage in their life, aren't you?
Yeah.
And here's another important thing, you guys.
(20:07):
I think it's super important that you like your work.
Because if they saw me here when I do like my CEO stuff on my computer and I'm grumpy, they're like, gosh, I don't know if I do want to do that someday.
Not that they're going to do my job, but they're like, gosh, working as adults stinks.
But if they see me joyful, chances are I'm actually behind the cutting table because when I create is when I'm most joyful and I'm dancing and I'm listening and I'm humming, they're like, okay, work is fun.
(20:30):
This is fun.
I do want to be a part of it.
And because I've been clear about what my priorities are and why I do the work that I do to help raise them, to help pay for things, and because I think God has blessed me with it, they are always looking for what they're good at.
It's like, oh my gosh, I'm a super joyful.
Well, I dance a lot when I'm coloring.
My youngest says this, mommy, I really dance a lot and I like to sing when I'm coloring.
(20:52):
Maybe I'll be an artist.
I'm like, yeah, you might be.
So they're picking up on those clues of what we like doing and why it's important to work.
You obviously prioritize faith, and that's a thread that runs through everything that you do.
How important is it that we are prioritizing and finding a place for faith, even though it is a part that touches every part of our lives?
(21:16):
Because so often we can say, yes, I'm a person of faith, I'm a follower of Jesus, and yet if we don't set that time aside, it can be missed.
It can definitely be missed.
So I think it's less about setting it aside and always knowing that it's present.
It's like the super practical ways is, for example, if they're complaining that I'm going to something, I'm like, hey, hey, hey, hey, remember why is mommy doing this?
(21:41):
Because God has gifted you to be a creator.
Yep.
Why else is mommy doing it?
Because it helps us buy groceries.
Yep.
Why else is mommy doing it?
Because you get to meet more women and tell more people about Jesus.
Yep.
Those are all rights.
Just reminding them frequently that the whole reason I create for a living is because that's what God made me to do, for sure.
And I think reminding them frequently, and at least in my creative world, it's that look at nature and how beautiful it is.
(22:07):
He was the original creator.
So I remind them all the time, like, hey, the tree never grows upside down, does it?
They're like, no.
And I'm like, yeah, because he was amazingly gifted at creating the original designer.
So do you also think that he designed a life for us to live together that will work?
Yeah.
Okay.
Is it going to feel chaotic at times?
Yes.
Is it going to feel consistently chaotic?
(22:28):
No, because that's not what he designed for us either.
So I think if it's a part of your conversation all day, and we spend less time thinking about, I'll get my devotion time in during my coffee time, and then I'll get the kids in, but rather, it's just a part of your conversation all day.
It's just easier.
It comes naturally.
We have some practical rules that we do in our house that are a little bit cheesy, but they work for us.
(22:49):
When we get in the car, we cannot turn the radio on, listen to a podcast or an audio book until we've listed five things that we're grateful for that day.
So everybody in the car spits them out.
I'd love to say it's a very romantic moment, you guys, but mostly it's like, mom, I'm grateful for the car, I'm grateful for this cheese stick, I'm grateful we're actually not late today, and I'm grateful my sister remembered her shoes.
But they're practicing open faith of gratitude.
(23:12):
I just said to my son, he's going to look at this car.
He's 17.
So everybody picture a 17-year-old who will make eye contact, but he's still too cool.
He's all those things.
I said, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, before you buy this car, I want you to pray about it.
He's got a heart for God.
He goes, I did.
I go, but can you just be really specific that you ask God for a physical moment in your body, whether it's a tingle in your heel, hair on the back of your neck, a skip in your step that would signify this is actually the car that you should be purchasing.
(23:44):
Ask him for some help.
He's like, thanks, mom.
So just reminding them, too, who is God, how is he working, that he works physically, he works mentally, he works spiritually in your life, calling to all the different things that God can do when we keep reminding them, hey, this isn't about us.
How are we doing this?
What was the point when you decided to transition from just, hey, I found a system that works for me to saying, I think other people could do with this as well.
(24:10):
I want to share this with others.
When did you make that change?
Oh, you know what?
I have a very distinct story that still to this day, I'm like, that's what happened.
I had been in business for about 10 years.
All of my kiddos, I have four, all of them were under the age of 10.
And we arrived at the grocery store on a Wednesday morning at about nine o'clock.
(24:32):
So it wasn't like late morning and it wasn't super early morning, but we arrived at nine o'clock because I was meeting a seamstress to exchange that week's work.
So I have some contractors.
And we were waiting in the parking lot and we were, stay with me, do not make judgments yet.
We were just ready for the day.
We had our clothes on.
I had my hair and makeup done.
I was ready to do the day, right?
(24:53):
Make these exchanges and then go get our groceries.
The seamstress come to the parking lot.
And I just want you to picture like a van cruising in barely into the parking space.
She's got her three kids in the car.
They have total bed head, all their jammies on.
They're just adorable.
She walks out a track suit with her big sunglasses on and she goes, oh my gosh, we need each other.
And she goes, Becca, tell me you are not like this.
(25:14):
Cause we looked like little ducklings.
We looked like we were fairly ready for the day.
And I immediately said, I was like, oh my gosh, no, we have days like that too.
And I felt an immediate punch in my gut.
I didn't know it at the time, but I was reflecting on it because God speaks to me through my guts, like my God organ.
What I was doing is being falsely humble.
I did know how I got there.
I know how I got ready for the day.
(25:35):
I had created systems to get the kiddos up and running so that our Wednesday could be productive so that I could get the work done to be with them.
Everything that I was doing was the same thing that she needed to do.
She needed to raise those kiddos and get the sewing done for the day.
I could teach her.
There wasn't anything that I was doing that would be any different than what her lifestyle was.
I could easily train it.
It wasn't that I got up at four or stayed up to four.
(25:57):
It wasn't anything fancy.
I just had practical systems that allowed me to approach the day with joy and have less chaos, which is not from God.
And so that was the moment where I was like, I want to podcast about this.
I could teach these systems very easily.
I have some radio and TV background.
So I hopped on a microphone and started recording my podcast, telling everybody about all the systems I use and all the permissions I give for you to run them your way, but at least make decisions.
(26:22):
So I just help people make decisions so that they can use their own systems effectively.
You've already got quite a number of episodes available of your podcast.
Tell me a little bit more about it.
And what can people expect if they listen in?
We keep things very real.
And I ask some curious questions when I interview people.
We're up to 300 episodes now.
I was podcasting before everybody was podcasting.
(26:43):
So if you're listening to the beginning episode, it's probably a little cringey for me.
But honestly, I'm still using those same systems.
Everything I was saying then is what I'm doing now.
They've evolved a little bit with the ages of the kiddos.
So some things I don't always practice or practice them differently, but they're all episodes of how I'm running all of my systems.
I talked about me, food, family, work, and home.
(27:05):
I've loved doing it because I've got to have guests that I can give us more ideas, how to practically apply things.
And one of the things that I set out for my vision for the podcast was just to be able to make it possible for women to think you can do both home and work life and with joy.
I think we're often missing the joy factor.
Everything that I put out there, I want them to be able to implement within 10 minutes of listening to the podcast.
(27:29):
That's kind of one of my unique values of the podcast is if you're running errands or if you're actually running outside, that after you get done listening, you'd be like, okay, I could do one of these practices in the next 10 minutes and then always turn it over at the end of my podcast.
And also when I go live for my purse business, I always tell people, if you wonder all this light and energy comes from, it's Jesus.
So I'm reminding them too, all of this organization, all this light, all this energy that I have is because of Jesus.
(27:54):
There may be someone listening at the moment who is still in that time of chaos, still feeling that sense of overwhelm to the point that they think, I would love to be able to put systems in place.
I would love to do that.
But quite honestly, I don't even have the time to start that.
What would your advice be to them?
I would say this.
(28:14):
First of all, I would remind them that you are equipped to do every single role, stage, phase, season that you are in right now.
God has already fully equipped you.
So stop listening to any messaging that tells you you can't do it because you can do it.
And then my second thing I would tell you is speaking of those five things, which one do you think is the most broke?
Is it your me system?
(28:35):
Do you need to just take better care of yourself?
Do not dwell on this, you guys, because you know we're in a world of me, me, me, me, me.
But if there's a few things you can do to give yourself a better charge, let's start with that one.
Or is it your food system?
Are you tired of answering the question, what's for supper at 545?
Is it maybe you just need to approach your food a little bit better?
Is it a work system?
You know that you're either not working enough hours or enough concentrated hours or you're working too many hours.
(28:59):
Maybe let's just take a look at your work system.
Let's smooth out some things there.
Is it your home system?
Does it not feel like a sanctuary when you go into your home?
Does it feel like pure chaos?
Then let's start with that one.
Let's just create a tiny space right when you walk in your door that has a cute Bible verse and a mat and a place for your keys that says, hey, welcome home, let's do this.
Or is it your family system?
(29:19):
Are you not liking how you're parenting or maybe your marriage is going and you just need to really concentrate on that one?
Don't do all of them at once, but if you're super feeling chaotic and overwhelmed and you're like, I don't even know where to start, start with one of the systems.
And the good thing too, on my podcast or on my website, encourageyourpodcast.com, this will help you narrow it down.
There is a resource right there that comes when you go straight to the website and it's two simple hacks for each system.
(29:44):
If you fill that out, it'll take you about 20 minutes.
It's just two simple hacks for each system.
Whichever one of those is the hardest to fill out, chances are that's the one that you need to start working on first.
So there's some practical advice there right away.
There's also the opportunity for, as you say, hundreds of podcast episodes that people can start to go through.
(30:05):
Rebecca, you mentioned the website and that's probably the easiest place for people to find you.
I will put links to the website, to the podcast in the show notes at bleedingdaylight.net so that people can find that easily.
But thank you for sharing so much with us today.
Thank you for being a guest on Bleeding Daylight.
It's been an absolute delight.
Thank you.
(30:26):
Oh, thank you so much for having me.
I'll just remind you guys like with your amazing title, I love the title of your podcast, is that when you're feeling in the dark, just start bleeding that daylight.
He's in you.
He knows that you can do every single task, role, stage he's given you.
You are equipped to do this.
Thank you for listening to Bleeding Daylight.
Please help us to shine more light into the darkness by sharing this episode with others.
(30:50):
For further details and more episodes, please visit bleedingdaylight.net.
Wherever there are shadows, there are people ready to kick at the darkness until it bleeds daylight.
This is Bleeding Daylight with your host, Rodney Olsen.
Welcome.
Thanks for listening.
Keep the conversation going by connecting with Bleeding Daylight on Facebook, Instagram, TikTok or other social media platforms.
(00:29):
You'll find all the links at bleedingdaylight.net, as well as dozens of other episodes of Bleeding Daylight, featuring some remarkable people sharing their own extraordinary stories.
Juggling all that life asks of us can be anywhere from difficult to sometimes devastating.
(00:50):
Today's guest helps others harmonise priorities to find a better way.
I'm so pleased today to introduce my guest, Rebecca Scott, a dynamic and inspirational speaker and podcaster who loves Jesus and understands the power of encouragement.
(01:15):
Rebecca's passion is to help parents and business owners balance home and work life with joy and less hustle.
Rebecca found herself overwhelmed until God intervened, guiding her towards a more manageable and fulfilling path.
Rebecca now empowers others to embrace their roles with clarity and confidence.
(01:37):
Rebecca, welcome to Bleeding Daylight.
Hey, thank you so much for having me on the podcast.
This will be fun.
We all play several roles in our lives.
Finding the right balance between all those roles can sometimes range from difficult to almost impossible at times.
Tell me about the roles that you were juggling when you came to somewhat of a tipping point.
(01:58):
Yeah.
Well, first off, if you're tired of hearing the word balance, it's such a gross word.
I use the word harmonise because I'm like, if anybody's ever tried to balance anything, one side is always losing.
So, one of the things that I'm like, I'll just tell people, use the word harmonise because you're trying to do both.
The tipping point for me was my business was 18 months old and my son, my firstborn son was 18 months old as well.
(02:22):
And I was packing for an art show, which is kind of like a market or a festival or something like that.
So, I was packing my purses.
I sew and design and I have a purse business where I actually make them.
And I was packing my van with all of the products.
My email notifications were going off.
My landline at the time was going off.
(02:43):
My toddler kept asking for a snack and the van, because the door was open, kept dinging.
Like there couldn't have been any more alarms going off at once, which is pretty typical for a day sometimes, right?
And my son kept asking me for a snack as I was going by him.
Probably the third or fourth time I said the infamous mom word, you know, like just a minute.
And for whatever reason, the fourth or fifth time or whatever he asked, I screamed at him, stop.
(03:08):
To this day, I can recall his blue eyes welling up, not understanding why I was overreacting.
I just melted in the moment because I knew that is not how I wanted to react to a simple request for a snack.
But I also knew I really wanted to do this show.
The message that I got in the moment was, first of all, just stop, you're overreacting.
(03:32):
And I did give him the snack because a toddler never forgets their snack, right?
And I fell in the fetal position and just sobbed.
I ultimately decided I was not hearing the message, you have to quit.
You've got to raise your kiddos and then you can do what you want.
I heard the message of both.
You can do both.
If that was the message, then I wanted to do both really well.
(03:54):
I did something bold at that time.
I canceled the show for the weekend, which in the art world is a big deal because you will not get invited back.
They think you're like a flighty artist.
So they didn't invite me back for six years, like they were mad.
But I knew in that moment, if I was going to prioritize my family first, I needed to cancel that and figure out how to do this.
In the following week, I decided I would keep a journal.
(04:17):
I just carry this journal with me everywhere.
And I just started recording everything I did during the week.
And then in the next column over, I wrote how long it took me to do it.
Because I wanted to look, I wanted to be able to zoom out and look at this and go, OK, well, how much time am I actually spending with him?
How much time am I checking email?
How much time am I actually sewing?
How much time am I making food?
(04:38):
How much time am I concentrating on myself, getting up, reading my Bible, running, whatever that looks like?
What emerged from that was super interesting.
I realized that there was about five pillars, if you will, or five systems.
There was times I was taking care of myself, my meat system.
There was time when I was creating food, a lot of food, a food system.
(04:58):
There was time I was taking care of my home, doing the laundry, cleaning.
That would be your home system.
There was time that I was taking care of my family and doing devotions with them and living out the legacy that I wanted for them.
There was time that I was working.
And so when I could see that there was five different areas I was operating in, I was like, OK, now I just need to figure out which one of these is the most broke right now, which ones I need to fix, or which one could I start with?
(05:26):
And at that moment, I realized my work system was broke.
I couldn't keep trying to squeeze in 70 hour weeks while raising a toddler.
And we farm and ranch also, you guys, so I literally have chore time with animals.
I can't do 70 hours.
So I started applying just the hours to the work system that I knew would be the most profitable, not necessarily in money, but profitable in return for time and energy at that stage of life.
(05:52):
We live in a world that tells us you can do it all.
And as you say, it's not that you said, OK, I need to just start dropping lots of things.
You said, I do want to continue with the business.
I am raising a toddler.
I do want to be there for my family.
So when we're told we can do it all, we naturally assume I can keep doing it and I must do it at this pace.
(06:16):
So how do we go from that worldly message of yes, do it all to actually let's do it all, but in a sustainable way?
Yes, I think the message is, yes, you can do it all.
And I think you can do it all, just not all at once.
I think we have to get really real about, OK, well, what stage of life am I in?
I'm going to keep listening to the message that success means this.
(06:38):
Have you actually thought about what success for you means?
That may not mean 70 hour weeks.
That may mean just 20 hour weeks.
And it may mean 70 hour weeks when you're trying to grow the business, but maybe just for six weeks.
So really just look back and go, well, what is my version?
And flipping that script also is just making very clear what your priorities are.
And that's another thing that emerged from that transformational week was, OK, my priority is going to be I'm a servant of God.
(07:03):
Then my next priority is going to be a wife.
Then I'm going to be a mom.
And last, I'm going to be a designer and a business owner.
So every decision, every email, every phone call went through this filter of, OK, does this opportunity allow me to serve God?
Does this opportunity allow me to still be a great wife?
Does this opportunity allow me to be a great mom?
And does this opportunity allow me to advance my business or what?
(07:26):
And if any of them were no, I had to just individually pick case by case, like, do I want to do this at all?
And when I got really clear about that, I said no to some actual big opportunities.
But I know that God in the universe would not not let me have those opportunities later on if I honored the setup that he had for me.
And so I thought, OK, this is not an opportunity for right now.
(07:49):
Thank you so much.
Keep me on your email list.
Think of me at yet another time.
But right now, that doesn't fit with my stage of life.
So getting clear on my priorities is a way that you can flip that script of just you can have it all.
Yeah, but maybe just the parts for right now that will be profitable, if you will, for both time and energy in your family.
It's interesting you mentioned that it might be that in the early stages of business, you need to be working that 70 hours a week, but that is not going on forever.
(08:17):
And we do tend to kid ourselves with this idea of, oh, well, it's a season.
But I've heard it said that if there's no end date to the season, that's not a season.
That's your lifestyle.
How do we determine what is a season and what is going to be sustainable?
Well, determining the season, too, I love this part because I frequently in my coaching ask people like, OK, is this is this a new lifestyle or is this a season?
(08:43):
So let's just be clear, because if this is a lifestyle that you want, we're going to have to adjust the systems to equal your 60 hour weeks that you're demanding or 70 hour weeks.
And I would politely tell you that's probably not sustainable.
But if that is what you want, then you need to be clear with your family that this is what it means.
Like, are you going to get up super early or higher or whatever?
But defining a season is important because especially as small business owners, we love what we've come up with.
(09:09):
We want to work nonstop.
But the people in your life, especially family, especially children, will hold you accountable to, hey, didn't you say this is six weeks?
And then mark it on your calendar like, hey, here's the end of it.
This is where we're going to celebrate that that season of growth, if it is if we're talking about a business system or a business project you're working on, that's what we're going to celebrate, because I'm going to finish it up by then.
(09:32):
And then you can have a celebration with your family, whatever that looks like.
But here's also permission.
I've had a couple of projects like that that did not go as streamlined as I wanted.
And by the six week mark, I was like, guys, I'm not done.
But because we were clear about our expectations, I could tell my family, guys, I need two more weeks.
I'm very sorry, but I've got to have two more weeks to wrap this up.
(09:53):
We got behind on a few things.
And they were okay with that because I'm still declaring this season will end and we will stop and we will celebrate and then we'll figure out what the next steps are going to be.
How do we figure out the balance between so many good opportunities, so many good things and what is the best for us?
Because there's a never ending array of good opportunities for us.
(10:16):
And we see that and we think, oh, and sometimes we even spiritualize it and say, well, God has obviously given me this opportunity.
I need to grab it.
And yet we just then work ourselves into the ground.
Okay.
Work in progress, as always, you guys.
But I would go back to that list.
There was some opportunities.
So, for example, I manufacture purses, handcrafted.
(10:38):
I have had manufacturers come to me and say, hey, we can just do it in our building.
But my original vision, and I still have this vision to this day and some days I live it and some days I don't, as far as as clear as it was, is that I would get to sew in home and raise babies.
So, this manufacturing thought process was like, but that would remove me from the home and then I wouldn't get to raise them.
(11:01):
I'd raise them at night, but I wouldn't be with them.
So, politely, nope, that's not what I have planned.
I didn't know it at the time.
But looking back, I'm like being so clear on what my vision for my success was and what I wanted to do with my business helped me be able to say yes and no to opportunities more easily.
I was like, nope, not right now.
I was also asked to speak on some fairly large stages for me and developing my coaching and stuff.
(11:24):
And they landed during sports seasons.
And sports, believe me, is not the end all be all.
But they were important games at that time for that kiddo.
He'd been through some things.
And so, I had to say no, because the business came after my role as mom.
And I said, please, please keep me on your email list.
But I'm going to have to say no this time around because I'm prioritizing X, Y, Z.
(11:48):
And there's a really gentle way to always say no, but not like a hard pass, but like a friendly no would be to say, oh, man, thank you so much for this opportunity.
But I am prioritizing X, Y, Z, whatever that is, because it's such a kind way to deliver like, this is amazing.
I'm acknowledging and honoring that, man, this could be really cool.
I'm so happy you thought about me.
(12:09):
However, I have this priority, because when you use priority, there's an immediate like, ooh, ooh, priority is a big thing.
We just think of that word as like, okay, priority is an honoree.
And the amount of emails I get back when I have had no's that were a friendly no, they're like, that's amazing.
Thank you for leading with that your family is important.
It gives us permission to make our families first too.
The opportunities are still open, but I'm pretty good at saying no now.
(12:33):
One of the things I love is that you've mentioned that this is a work in progress.
So much of what you're talking about is stuff that you're still dealing with from day to day.
How important is it for us when we find ourselves in those times where, ooh, that didn't go how I wanted, that didn't go according to my plan to give ourselves permission to say, okay, this is a temporary glitch.
(12:56):
I'm still working with it rather than just thinking the whole thing is just not working.
I think it's a reflection time for yourself.
A good question before you take a project on or something that you were like, okay, we're doing it, is to always play out worst case scenario and best case scenario.
And the worst is going to be like, well, we have to quit or whatever.
And the best case scenario is, okay, this is going to be amazing.
(13:16):
And by asking those questions first, and if the opportunity does fall flat, it's like, okay, well, especially as a leader, what can I learn?
And blame yourself for all of it because you are ultimately responsible.
Take away the pieces that you could learn, but don't just think that it's a moment where you have to quit.
In some instances, there are cases where you're like, okay, I actually do need to stop this.
(13:38):
But most cases, you just need a break.
You just need to think about it and how you go about it a little bit different the next time.
But most cases are not a diehard quit.
You're the one who knows the ugly details, but not everybody does.
Not everybody is having the voice in your head that says you failed.
First of all, that is not God.
That's you being hard on yourself or Satan himself.
(14:00):
But just sit with it for a little bit and figure out how you're going to switch.
How often do we need to go back and reprioritize?
Because we can start with a set of priorities and put them in place.
And then as life happens, life throws all sorts of curveballs at us, and they might not necessarily fit with those priorities that we've set up.
(14:22):
So, how often do we have to go back to those priorities?
Well, I could speak for myself.
I have my priorities listed in three different places in my house.
Because of my entrepreneur ways and my like, ooh, this will be fun, let's try this.
I move pretty fastly and I'm very energetic.
I do put them in three different places because the first place you put it in your house, whatever your priority list is, you're going to forget it because it just becomes part of the background.
(14:48):
But the other place I put it is on my mirror in my bathroom so that as I'm getting ready in the morning, I'm like, okay, here are the decisions I'm making today.
I'm a surf guy.
I'm going to ask Nicholas, my husband, if he needs any help today.
Oh, and that's right, I got those things set up for the kids.
I'm going to read an affirmation to him that morning.
And then, oh yeah, I got some cool work stuff going on.
But ooh, the work stuff looks like it's really crowded today, and that will not allow me to be very present at supper.
(15:11):
So, I'm going to ask my assistant to help me move a few things around.
So, it's a constant reminder.
And then the other place I have it sitting now is the fridge because I visit the fridge a lot.
So, the other place I have my priority list.
And it also allows my family to keep seeing that these are mom's priorities.
And I'm raising three daughters also.
So, I love for them to see like, okay, mom's still got them in check.
I definitely visit daily and sometimes hourly.
(15:33):
And I guess that's part of the key.
So often we can set priorities, we can set directions, we can set even reminders of things that we have to do, but they go down in notebooks somewhere or online somewhere.
And we never visit it again.
So, what you're talking about is ensuring that those things that we have put in place remain front of mind.
(15:55):
And it doesn't seem very business-like to be putting that on a fridge, but that's what works.
So, we need to find the thing that works, don't we?
Oh, yeah.
You have to do the most practical thing for you.
So, I'm obviously old school and I like paper and pencil and all that stuff.
But if it's digitally for you, it's the background of your cell phone, go for it.
And here's another permission around me is that it may not always be the same.
(16:18):
Your priority list may change in the order for a different season.
So, maybe you have an ailing parent you need to take care of, that may move up.
Or somebody in the family was diagnosed with something, that may move up.
You're on a work project, you're like, okay, it's still last.
But like for us, we farm and ranch.
So, we have a meeting with our family about harvest season.
It's crazy.
My husband is out till two or three in the morning.
(16:40):
That work for him is a priority because we have a small window to get the crops in.
And so, that becomes a high priority.
And so, we just talk with Sam like, hey, harvest season is coming up.
This is what it means.
This is the hours that it's going to take.
This is how we're going to show Danny that we love him and we support him.
Just also be gentle with yourself that your priority list can also change.
And it may just be some evolving for yourself.
(17:02):
You're like, you know what?
I'm going to move this up on my priority list.
You can do that.
These priorities obviously need to be put in place.
They need to be in a place where we can see them.
But how do we stop our family from starting to perceive that they're just one on a list of priorities?
And it's, no, mum hasn't got the opportunity to prioritize you at the moment.
(17:24):
The priority right now is this.
How do we actually seamlessly integrate that into our life so that our family feel that we're present with them so that if we're dealing with a client or someone at work that we feel very present with them rather than just, sorry, we've run out of priority for you right now?
Oh, gosh.
(17:45):
Okay.
Well, that's a good question.
I think it's maybe multiple things.
It's reminding them consistently.
So, in my studio right here, a kiddo comes up.
I'm still in the middle of a workday, which they know I have some hours that work within.
And they're like, mum, come watch us in the swimming pool.
I love that.
That is going to be fun.
I'm going to treat that as my reward.
(18:05):
After I finish this pile of purses, I'll be out.
And the kid's like, mum, well, how long is that going to take?
And because I've timed almost all of my tasks, I'm like, it'll be 45 minutes.
So, it's a little bit longer, but then I'll be out and I will prioritize that.
And so, even hearing the word prioritize clues them into, okay, mum does think it's important, but they also have to honor that, okay, I do got to finish my work.
(18:28):
And then clear, we talk a lot about expectations in my house.
And so, it's like, hey, expectations today, mum is back to back interviews.
So, here's what that means for you guys.
I can't prioritize lunch, so I'm going to assign that to someone else.
But when I get done at six o'clock with the last interview, it's cool time, baby.
We're going to do this, this and this.
So, talking through expectations with your children helps them to also understand what your priorities are for the day and honor both, and then reverse it.
(18:55):
Hey, kiddo, what was your priorities for today?
How can we make sure that that happens?
So, that there's a natural like, oh, look, we're harmonizing each other's lives.
Like, was your priority to get to the pool or did you actually want to go for a ride?
We ride horses frequently.
I'm like, you know what?
I want to go for the ride.
I'm like, okay.
Well, then instead of the pool, we'll go for a ride.
So, just everybody talking about what their priorities are and trying to meet that and cut down expectations if they're like, because we have that a lot too.
(19:21):
You're like, well, I expected that we were going to go get ice cream.
I'm like, sorry, that is not happening today, but maybe we could do that another time.
So, I think expectations, talking about priorities and asking them what their priorities are as well is very beneficial.
What I'm very aware of in that situation is that your kids are learning about this.
The thing that we want the most is to bring our children up well.
(19:45):
And yes, there's always that tug to immediately go to what they want right now.
And yet, that's not actually teaching them real life because real life is not going to treat them like that.
But you're actually giving them the keys to be able to prioritize and to be able to work well when they get to that stage in their life, aren't you?
Yeah.
And here's another important thing, you guys.
(20:07):
I think it's super important that you like your work.
Because if they saw me here when I do like my CEO stuff on my computer and I'm grumpy, they're like, gosh, I don't know if I do want to do that someday.
Not that they're going to do my job, but they're like, gosh, working as adults stinks.
But if they see me joyful, chances are I'm actually behind the cutting table because when I create is when I'm most joyful and I'm dancing and I'm listening and I'm humming, they're like, okay, work is fun.
(20:30):
This is fun.
I do want to be a part of it.
And because I've been clear about what my priorities are and why I do the work that I do to help raise them, to help pay for things, and because I think God has blessed me with it, they are always looking for what they're good at.
It's like, oh my gosh, I'm a super joyful.
Well, I dance a lot when I'm coloring.
My youngest says this, mommy, I really dance a lot and I like to sing when I'm coloring.
(20:52):
Maybe I'll be an artist.
I'm like, yeah, you might be.
So they're picking up on those clues of what we like doing and why it's important to work.
You obviously prioritize faith, and that's a thread that runs through everything that you do.
How important is it that we are prioritizing and finding a place for faith, even though it is a part that touches every part of our lives?
(21:16):
Because so often we can say, yes, I'm a person of faith, I'm a follower of Jesus, and yet if we don't set that time aside, it can be missed.
It can definitely be missed.
So I think it's less about setting it aside and always knowing that it's present.
It's like the super practical ways is, for example, if they're complaining that I'm going to something, I'm like, hey, hey, hey, hey, remember why is mommy doing this?
(21:41):
Because God has gifted you to be a creator.
Yep.
Why else is mommy doing it?
Because it helps us buy groceries.
Yep.
Why else is mommy doing it?
Because you get to meet more women and tell more people about Jesus.
Yep.
Those are all rights.
Just reminding them frequently that the whole reason I create for a living is because that's what God made me to do, for sure.
And I think reminding them frequently, and at least in my creative world, it's that look at nature and how beautiful it is.
(22:07):
He was the original creator.
So I remind them all the time, like, hey, the tree never grows upside down, does it?
They're like, no.
And I'm like, yeah, because he was amazingly gifted at creating the original designer.
So do you also think that he designed a life for us to live together that will work?
Yeah.
Okay.
Is it going to feel chaotic at times?
Yes.
Is it going to feel consistently chaotic?
(22:28):
No, because that's not what he designed for us either.
So I think if it's a part of your conversation all day, and we spend less time thinking about, I'll get my devotion time in during my coffee time, and then I'll get the kids in, but rather, it's just a part of your conversation all day.
It's just easier.
It comes naturally.
We have some practical rules that we do in our house that are a little bit cheesy, but they work for us.
(22:49):
When we get in the car, we cannot turn the radio on, listen to a podcast or an audio book until we've listed five things that we're grateful for that day.
So everybody in the car spits them out.
I'd love to say it's a very romantic moment, you guys, but mostly it's like, mom, I'm grateful for the car, I'm grateful for this cheese stick, I'm grateful we're actually not late today, and I'm grateful my sister remembered her shoes.
But they're practicing open faith of gratitude.
(23:12):
I just said to my son, he's going to look at this car.
He's 17.
So everybody picture a 17-year-old who will make eye contact, but he's still too cool.
He's all those things.
I said, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, before you buy this car, I want you to pray about it.
He's got a heart for God.
He goes, I did.
I go, but can you just be really specific that you ask God for a physical moment in your body, whether it's a tingle in your heel, hair on the back of your neck, a skip in your step that would signify this is actually the car that you should be purchasing.
(23:44):
Ask him for some help.
He's like, thanks, mom.
So just reminding them, too, who is God, how is he working, that he works physically, he works mentally, he works spiritually in your life, calling to all the different things that God can do when we keep reminding them, hey, this isn't about us.
How are we doing this?
What was the point when you decided to transition from just, hey, I found a system that works for me to saying, I think other people could do with this as well.
(24:10):
I want to share this with others.
When did you make that change?
Oh, you know what?
I have a very distinct story that still to this day, I'm like, that's what happened.
I had been in business for about 10 years.
All of my kiddos, I have four, all of them were under the age of 10.
And we arrived at the grocery store on a Wednesday morning at about nine o'clock.
(24:32):
So it wasn't like late morning and it wasn't super early morning, but we arrived at nine o'clock because I was meeting a seamstress to exchange that week's work.
So I have some contractors.
And we were waiting in the parking lot and we were, stay with me, do not make judgments yet.
We were just ready for the day.
We had our clothes on.
I had my hair and makeup done.
I was ready to do the day, right?
(24:53):
Make these exchanges and then go get our groceries.
The seamstress come to the parking lot.
And I just want you to picture like a van cruising in barely into the parking space.
She's got her three kids in the car.
They have total bed head, all their jammies on.
They're just adorable.
She walks out a track suit with her big sunglasses on and she goes, oh my gosh, we need each other.
And she goes, Becca, tell me you are not like this.
(25:14):
Cause we looked like little ducklings.
We looked like we were fairly ready for the day.
And I immediately said, I was like, oh my gosh, no, we have days like that too.
And I felt an immediate punch in my gut.
I didn't know it at the time, but I was reflecting on it because God speaks to me through my guts, like my God organ.
What I was doing is being falsely humble.
I did know how I got there.
I know how I got ready for the day.
(25:35):
I had created systems to get the kiddos up and running so that our Wednesday could be productive so that I could get the work done to be with them.
Everything that I was doing was the same thing that she needed to do.
She needed to raise those kiddos and get the sewing done for the day.
I could teach her.
There wasn't anything that I was doing that would be any different than what her lifestyle was.
I could easily train it.
It wasn't that I got up at four or stayed up to four.
(25:57):
It wasn't anything fancy.
I just had practical systems that allowed me to approach the day with joy and have less chaos, which is not from God.
And so that was the moment where I was like, I want to podcast about this.
I could teach these systems very easily.
I have some radio and TV background.
So I hopped on a microphone and started recording my podcast, telling everybody about all the systems I use and all the permissions I give for you to run them your way, but at least make decisions.
(26:22):
So I just help people make decisions so that they can use their own systems effectively.
You've already got quite a number of episodes available of your podcast.
Tell me a little bit more about it.
And what can people expect if they listen in?
We keep things very real.
And I ask some curious questions when I interview people.
We're up to 300 episodes now.
I was podcasting before everybody was podcasting.
(26:43):
So if you're listening to the beginning episode, it's probably a little cringey for me.
But honestly, I'm still using those same systems.
Everything I was saying then is what I'm doing now.
They've evolved a little bit with the ages of the kiddos.
So some things I don't always practice or practice them differently, but they're all episodes of how I'm running all of my systems.
I talked about me, food, family, work, and home.
(27:05):
I've loved doing it because I've got to have guests that I can give us more ideas, how to practically apply things.
And one of the things that I set out for my vision for the podcast was just to be able to make it possible for women to think you can do both home and work life and with joy.
I think we're often missing the joy factor.
Everything that I put out there, I want them to be able to implement within 10 minutes of listening to the podcast.
(27:29):
That's kind of one of my unique values of the podcast is if you're running errands or if you're actually running outside, that after you get done listening, you'd be like, okay, I could do one of these practices in the next 10 minutes and then always turn it over at the end of my podcast.
And also when I go live for my purse business, I always tell people, if you wonder all this light and energy comes from, it's Jesus.
So I'm reminding them too, all of this organization, all this light, all this energy that I have is because of Jesus.
(27:54):
There may be someone listening at the moment who is still in that time of chaos, still feeling that sense of overwhelm to the point that they think, I would love to be able to put systems in place.
I would love to do that.
But quite honestly, I don't even have the time to start that.
What would your advice be to them?
I would say this.
(28:14):
First of all, I would remind them that you are equipped to do every single role, stage, phase, season that you are in right now.
God has already fully equipped you.
So stop listening to any messaging that tells you you can't do it because you can do it.
And then my second thing I would tell you is speaking of those five things, which one do you think is the most broke?
Is it your me system?
(28:35):
Do you need to just take better care of yourself?
Do not dwell on this, you guys, because you know we're in a world of me, me, me, me, me.
But if there's a few things you can do to give yourself a better charge, let's start with that one.
Or is it your food system?
Are you tired of answering the question, what's for supper at 545?
Is it maybe you just need to approach your food a little bit better?
Is it a work system?
You know that you're either not working enough hours or enough concentrated hours or you're working too many hours.
(28:59):
Maybe let's just take a look at your work system.
Let's smooth out some things there.
Is it your home system?
Does it not feel like a sanctuary when you go into your home?
Does it feel like pure chaos?
Then let's start with that one.
Let's just create a tiny space right when you walk in your door that has a cute Bible verse and a mat and a place for your keys that says, hey, welcome home, let's do this.
Or is it your family system?
(29:19):
Are you not liking how you're parenting or maybe your marriage is going and you just need to really concentrate on that one?
Don't do all of them at once, but if you're super feeling chaotic and overwhelmed and you're like, I don't even know where to start, start with one of the systems.
And the good thing too, on my podcast or on my website, encourageyourpodcast.com, this will help you narrow it down.
There is a resource right there that comes when you go straight to the website and it's two simple hacks for each system.
(29:44):
If you fill that out, it'll take you about 20 minutes.
It's just two simple hacks for each system.
Whichever one of those is the hardest to fill out, chances are that's the one that you need to start working on first.
So there's some practical advice there right away.
There's also the opportunity for, as you say, hundreds of podcast episodes that people can start to go through.
(30:05):
Rebecca, you mentioned the website and that's probably the easiest place for people to find you.
I will put links to the website, to the podcast in the show notes at bleedingdaylight.net so that people can find that easily.
But thank you for sharing so much with us today.
Thank you for being a guest on Bleeding Daylight.
It's been an absolute delight.
Thank you.
(30:26):
Oh, thank you so much for having me.
I'll just remind you guys like with your amazing title, I love the title of your podcast, is that when you're feeling in the dark, just start bleeding that daylight.
He's in you.
He knows that you can do every single task, role, stage he's given you.
You are equipped to do this.
Thank you for listening to Bleeding Daylight.
Please help us to shine more light into the darkness by sharing this episode with others.
(30:50):
For further details and more episodes, please visit bleedingdaylight.net.
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