S05E105 Navigating High School and the College Admissions Journey with Nicholas Rhee

S05E105 Navigating High School and the College Admissions Journey with Nicholas Rhee

Ever wonder what it's really like to navigate the high-stakes world of college applications as a teenager today? In this family conversation, host Sam Rhee sits down with his 18-year-old son Nicholas to unpack the reality behind the high school experience and college admissions process.

Nicholas shares his journey from elementary school math programs to becoming a Duke University-bound senior, offering a refreshingly honest perspective on the challenges and triumphs along the way. The conversation delves into how early academic habits formed through programs like Kumon created a foundation for later success, despite the resistance most children naturally feel toward extra work. As Nicholas explains, these formative experiences made achievements feel "obtainable through enough practice and prep," establishing a growth mindset that served him well through high school.

The discussion tackles several universal struggles facing today's students – from managing screen time, to maintaining healthy sleep patterns during academically demanding periods. The discussion also explores the emotional dynamics of sibling relationships, and the importance of time management and study habits.

Perhaps most valuable is Nicholas's candid account of the emotional rollercoaster of college applications. After receiving a deferral from Duke during Early Decision, he shares how he maintained perspective during the agonizing months of waiting: "It's not like it's the end of the world... it just means things didn't go your way this one time." His advice to fellow students focuses on "de-polarizing" the process, applying to multiple schools, and remembering that no single admission decision defines your worth or potential.

Whether you're a parent supporting a teenager through this journey, a student in the midst of the process, or simply curious about how today's generation navigates these critical transitions, this conversation offers invaluable insights into maintaining balance during one of life's most stressful yet formative experiences.

#CollegeAdmissions #HighSchoolLife #StudentAdvice #CollegeBound #HighSchoolSenior #StudentVoices #CollegeJourney #EducationMatters #ParentingTeens #StudentExperience #HigherEducation #CollegePrep #ParentingTeens #CollegeApplication #BotoxAndBurpees #podcast

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:04):
Welcome to another episode of Botox and Burpees.
I'm here with my son, nicholasRhee.
He's 18 years old, he is asenior in high school, and this
episode is about his experiencein high school advice that he
can give for others who arenavigating both the college
process, the high school process, and what his experiences are
like.
And obviously this is just asingle person's experience.

(00:28):
But you know, with everythingthat we've talked about in the
past, I think it's reallyimportant to get that first
person perspective.
Nick actually lived it.
He is now finishing up hissenior year, and so I think it's
a great time for him to sort ofreflect on his experiences and
give some advisor thoughts aboutwhat it was like for him to go

(00:48):
through high school, and now hewill be entering as a freshman
at Duke University in the fall.
So welcome, nick.
Thank you for guesting.

Speaker 2 (00:56):
Thanks for having me on the show, dad.
Okay, all right.

Speaker 1 (01:00):
So just tell the audience a little bit about
yourself, what you would wantthem to know.

Speaker 2 (01:05):
Yeah, so, like my dad said, I'm senior high school.
I've gone to Dwight EnglewoodHigh School for the last four
years, entered as a freshman.
Yeah, school's wrapping up forme in about, like you know,
honestly, less than a month andyeah, and that's kind of like
looking to close things out andI'm glad to be on the show.

Speaker 1 (01:23):
Thanks, I really appreciate you doing this.
Let's start with your firstearly years, like basically like
kindergarten through eighthgrade.
I know you had you were inRidgewood at the time what stood
out in terms of your earlyexperiences?
Anything that really was superpositive or maybe super negative

(01:46):
that you feel like might haveinfluenced how you did later on
in your high school career.

Speaker 2 (01:52):
Yeah so I mean, obviously, like, the main topic
of this is obviously about like,and the main themes are about
like college applications andlike the kind of like wider
scope of like that kind ofprocess, but obviously, like
going back to something likekindergarten, eighth grade, like
I'm not even thinking aboutanything like that back then,
honestly, like my scope was somuch smaller.
So I think, in terms of likekey moments I can look back on,
like you know, um, I alwaysconsider myself, you know, even

(02:15):
when I was like in elementaryschool, like you know, to be
very fortunate to have a very,um, stable and, um, you know,
very good education and I justin general, you know, felt like
I had everything I needed,pretty much Like I had the
support of teachers, you know,good environment, good friends,
good classmates.
I was in elementary school,which was a K through five
program, and then you go to themiddle school local middle

(02:36):
school, george Washington whichis a sixth through eighth grade
program only.
So you know that transition waspretty seamless.
I'd say Like they facilitatethat pretty easily.
And you know there's alsothere's other kinds of prepping
resources that I've also, youknow, taken advantage of,
thankfully, because, um, youknow, things like extra test
prep, tutoring, um, andobviously that's less of a
factor earlier um in youreducation.

(02:57):
But uh, yeah, that definitelykind of that definitely does
kind of prime you, I think, froman earlier age to expect to
kind of go the extra mile in asense and you know taking risks,
exploring new things, whatworks, you know what direction
you kind of want to go down withyour academics.
So, yeah, I think thatdefinitely framing was
definitely important for me andyou know, those habits that you

(03:18):
build are very important forhigh school as well.

Speaker 1 (03:21):
Mom thinks that making you guys do kuman early,
especially all that math kuman,was helpful.
Uh, and we started early.
Do you think that that played arole in terms of your future
academic success?

Speaker 2 (03:34):
uh, yeah, I think so.
I mean, like, I guess, I meanit's it's very easy thing to
call back to, I guess, obviouslyit's like just, it's almost
like, it's almost, like, youknow, introductory test prep.
In a sense I need to get a bitof a head start in certain
courses and like, um, yeah,honestly I probably only
remember that much from thosedays, but like, yeah, like we
did that for a pretty long time,but I think, yeah, that
definitely in like thoseformative years, that definitely

(03:55):
does help actually, in a sense,like you know, regardless of
what program you use, I think.
But, if you want, like you know, for me that helped me feel
more confident, at least in myabilities.
In a sense, I felt like Ireally felt like just reaching
towards a goal, in a sense, likeI made things seem very
obtainable, you know, throughenough practice and through
enough prep, because you know Iwas definitely seeing
improvements and it just keptthat constant feeling of like

(04:16):
engagement and, you know,actualizing my own education.
In a sense, it kept that veryfront of front mind for me.

Speaker 1 (04:26):
So I know you didn't really like it as a kid.
Would you force your own kid todo something like that?

Speaker 2 (04:30):
um, I mean, of course it all depends, like I think I
mean, yeah, like I don't thinkany kid really is like gonna be
too partial towards like extraprep or just any extra work like
especially for maybe an earlierage, like that concept can seem
kind of foreign.
But you know, in general, like Ithink it was a good decision,
at least that like at the veryleast it wasn't like you know,
it wasn't negative to um tooffer that kind of extra prep.

(04:51):
You can take advantage of thoseresources that we're lucky to
have.
I guess, like maybe I was aparent, I think consider the
circumstances obviously, but youknow, for something like Kumon
at least, it's pretty lowmaintenance, like it's more so
your child taking their learninginto their own hands, in a
sense, and just trying to makesteady progress, you know, not
too much pressure, but just kindof get the feel for what
tutoring can be like and how itcan play that central play, that

(05:14):
active role in your learning.
In a sense.
I think building up thosehabits and that expectation is
very, is very beneficial for,you know, kids at that age and
whether you stick with it or not, it's just something to keep in
mind and if you want success inthe future, these kinds of
habits are very important tobuild, so how about sports?

Speaker 1 (05:29):
I know we ran both you and Sasha through probably
every possible sport known tomankind as a kid.
So we did lacrosse and soccerand football and and pretty much
everything and you know somekids really gravitate towards it
, some don't.
What do you remember about yourearly like sports experiences
and how you felt about that?

Speaker 2 (05:51):
So yeah, so, like I think I definitely have, I guess
, been through I mean, maybe notas much as some other kids, but
like there's definitelyexperimentation that I've been
going through, I guess, withlike that, especially early in
elementary school, and likethat's um, and looking back to
like I think, even if I'm there,weren't, you know, so many
positive moments at the moment,at the very least being like,

(06:11):
exposed to those kinds ofperspectives and generally
engaging, you know, as as anyonewould like, with their peers.
And there's something that youknow all kids should do and you
know I'm glad I was.
I got into, you know, from anearlier age, um, something with
some kids, maybe with cleardirection, like they really
gravitate towards a sport earlyon.
And you know, for me, like itwasn't really like that.
Like you know, we're notexactly like a sports-centered
family, so to speak.
That was never like the focus,I guess.

(06:33):
But I mean that variety of, youknow again, of sports and that
kind of engagement definitelydidn't hurt Slightly.
Pushing yourself out of yourcan be very valuable, and I
think it probably helped me agood amount too, even though I
didn't continue to play thingslike lacrosse or soccer for too
long after, but yeah, how about?

Speaker 1 (06:48):
so?
If you had to think of anyparticular person from K to
eight, your whole Ridgewoodexperience was there anyone that
really stuck out as a mentor,someone that was super positive,
someone that you still thinkabout as part of your academic
career or life?

Speaker 2 (07:07):
Yeah, that's a good question.
I think, in terms of likementors, so to speak, I think
that I can also name a lot ofmiddle school teachers, in a
sense, I think, but also I thinkeven going also name a lot of
middle school teachers I've sent, in a sense, I think, um, but
also I think, like, even likegoing back to like first grade,

(07:29):
like my first year teacher, likelike miss Peterson, like she
was actually, you know, someonewho really sticks out my mind
actually even from all the wayback then and she, uh, she
definitely kind of you know, itwas kind of my first exposure to
like, oh yeah, like this postalsystem is very good, very
supportive and, um, there arepeople here who genuinely want
to get to know me as a personand a learner.
I think that, you know, thatwas definitely a very, very

(07:51):
formative experience and thatdefinitely helped what I could
expect, what I could feel securein knowing with my education.

Speaker 1 (07:58):
So, that's really cool.
I love that.
I remember my grade schoolteachers too, some good, some
not so good.
So then you transition fromeighth grade at Ridgewood to
Dwight, englewood, as a freshmanin high school.
Now I know Sasha originally wasthe first person in you know,

(08:18):
your bigger sister to go toDwight.
How did you feel about thattransition?
What was that like?
What did you notice that wasreally different, or advice that
you could give for anyonetransitioning into another high
school?
What was that like for you?

Speaker 2 (08:31):
Yeah.
So you know, looking back, itdefinitely felt like things were
moving very quickly at thattime.
I remember when she was twoyears older, so I remember even
when I was in sixth grade, evenbefore that.
You know just lots ofconsiderations obviously, also
in a sense kind of boils down to.
You know, just lots ofconsiderations obviously Also in
a sense kind of boils down toyou know, what does the future
look like Like, what do you wantyour academic future to look
like?
You know, and generally, thatobviously is going to pertain to
college very significantly.

(08:52):
And you know, were you thinkingthat at that time?
Yeah, so like in sixth grade?
Honestly not really Like.
Obviously I'm hearing inklingsof it.
But then obviously I called backto that when I was in eighth
grade and making that decisionfor myself.
I was very glad that you know,you guys were giving me that
decision.
I'm very thankful for that.
You know, to be able to takecontrol of that my own way, you
know, weigh the options and youknow I think when I was looking

(09:12):
at it I was looking at the samething.
She was in a sense how do Ilike the school?
When I told her it and I'm likewhat kind of opportunities do I
think are available to me there?
How will academics bestreamlined?
You know what's the reputation?

Speaker 1 (09:27):
Did you think of all those things Like did you think
that it would help you in termsof the academics, the activities
available?
Did you see that when you wereconsidering those choices?

Speaker 2 (09:37):
Yeah.
So obviously, like you know,through things like touring,
like some extra research as well, and, of course, through you
know my sister literally goingthrough that was a huge benefit,
definitely streamlined that alot and helped me get a clear
picture of what was on the tableand what I could see myself
doing.
So I think, yeah, obviously shehad a very positive first.
Two years before I made thatdecision.
I thought that was all superpromising and a very, very, very

(10:01):
good indicator of you know, ofyou know what that could bring.
And again, seeing you know howhappy Sasha was, you know how
happy she was out there and youknow how positive environment
she was having and herexperiences were being very good
, and again, like she seemed,like you know, nothing was
really out of reach, in a sense.

Speaker 1 (10:15):
What?
So?
Let's talk a little bit aboutyour relationship with Sasha,
your big sister.
So she's two years older.
She is not.
She's never been hesitant togive you advice.
In fact, I think she probablygives you more advice than to
anyone else.
She obviously cares a lot aboutyou.
Um, siblings have differentrelationships, like I've seen
different families.

(10:35):
You know older sister, youngerbrother.
How would you characterize likeyour relationship with Sasha
and how has that worked over thethe past couple years?

Speaker 2 (10:44):
yeah, so you know we're pretty close, um, you know
, I think as long as I canremember, and your relationship
with Sasha and how has thatworked over the past couple of
years?
Yeah, so you know we're prettyclose, um, you know, I think as
long as I can remember, and,yeah, she does give me probably,
she probably does give me themost advice out of anyone you
know I talked to and, um, butyeah, I'm just lucky to have
that connection becauseobviously you know certain
families that can differ a lot.
I've never been, never reallyknown like my experience going
up without, you know, havingkind of someone looking over my
shoulder in a sense and someoneI can just talk to about these

(11:06):
things that you know are veryage specific and are very age
sensitive in a sense, and youcan't always get the same
perspective very easily, evenamong your peers.
But you know, having my sisterto grow up beside me is super
helpful.
People always say, like infamilies, like you know the
older siblings, like the guineapig in a sense, like you know,
you can just see how, see howthey went through it, see, you
know what's my mistakes theymade, what worked for them and
uh, uh, learn from that.

(11:26):
So, yeah, generally it's.
I mean, you know Sasha is sohelpful, um, so much advice and
so much guidance a lot of thetime, um, how they make
connections, how they make andthese big decisions, like you
know, going through high school,where a lot of, of course, like
you know, it's emotional, it'slike personal to you?

Speaker 1 (11:43):
Did you feel your temperament was the same as
Sasha's, or different, Like wasit?
How did it contrast?

Speaker 2 (11:48):
Yeah, I mean, we're pretty different people,
honestly, in terms of, like youknow, demeanor and just general
like.
Yeah, I guess, temperament in asense, like in terms of, like
you know, extroversion,introversion maybe, oh yeah,
when I can see, you know, when Iwas able to see how she was
going through it and how she wasgetting super involved, super

(12:11):
active, you know, I was like,well, you know, I can do the
same thing, I don't see why not.
And like in terms of Boston,like in terms of how accepting
the community is and how calmthe ending it is for so many
different kinds of students,different kinds of learners.
That was something I picked upon very quickly.

Speaker 1 (12:25):
Is there anything that you did that you were like?
Sasha gave you advice and and Iknow a lot of it you did follow
.
She's pretty successful,obviously.
But was there anything you'relike I'm going to do it a little
differently or I'm going to dosomething else, not this,
because I am a different person?
Do you remember anything likethat?
Extracurricular wise, maybecourse choices?

Speaker 2 (12:44):
for example, like middle school, like there's an
advanced math program, obviously, but um, there's not, you know,
any kind of, like you know,advanced english program with
distinguishing, distinguishingfactors.
So, moving into dwight, thatwas actually a pretty new
experience, like you know, notjust stem, but also, you know,
exercising your creativity inenglish and the arts and
humanities.
Which is that, what that, whatyou did?
Yeah, I think I was just, youknow, in general, I was able to

(13:05):
express those interests in amuch more, in a much more
directed way and focused way, ina sense, you know, not only
through classes but also throughthe available extracurriculars.

Speaker 1 (13:14):
Which extracurriculars helped you to
sort of develop those interests?

Speaker 2 (13:17):
Yeah, so like in terms of you know things like
philosophy or English orhumanities or writing, any kind
of thing that isn't just purelySTEM, Like you know things.
Like you know, I'm on theethics bowl team.
That was a big thing for me.
You know, we just had a reallysuccessful year, which I'm proud
of.
And I just set that up, ran forthe newspaper.
That was something that youknow I was definitely
appreciative of and other thingslike debate.
I felt to be able to craft myidentity my own way.

(13:39):
Craft my experiences as alearner, bring to the leader.

Speaker 1 (13:41):
What sports and extracurriculars did you do your
first and second year in highschool?

Speaker 2 (13:49):
Um, so like, obviously I was kind of just
looking towards basketball,cause that was something I was I
wanted to continue from likemiddle school.
Um, but of course you know,track was also there and I was
considering doing that as wellearlier on.

Speaker 1 (13:59):
So you stuck with track.
You only did basketball for twoyears, so what was the
difference between the two?
Why did you stick with trackand not basketball Probably just
.

Speaker 2 (14:11):
Well, I mean, I'd say skill probably has something to
do with it as well.
You're a better track personthan basketball I don't say I'm
even I don't even know if I'mbetter or not but it's just like
it's.
I mean, it's your own thing,like you don't have to really
feel you know indebted to, likeyou know helping the team or
like worrying about minutes,things like that, because it's
just your own sport.
It just makes it super moreaccessible and more um
individualized, which I thinkhelps for when you know I'm not

(14:32):
like pursuing sports tooseriously but I definitely want
to stay active still and rightwith that community.
So that kind of environment was, you know, it's just, it's very
complimentary in its naturewhat did?

Speaker 1 (14:41):
what did you just run ?
What events have you just runrecently?

Speaker 2 (14:44):
Um, yeah.
So, like I mean, initially insophomore year I started as like
a I just kind of startedsprinting just because I wasn't
really sure what to do really,and that's just a lot of what a
lot of kids do.
Then I eventually I was like injunior year versus junior year,

(15:05):
um, you know, I was running the, running the mile in 800 which
uh which is which is nice anddifficult.
Difficult but nice, and you knowmeeting a lot of um, you know
getting closer with a lot ofpeople through that as well.
Distance program has beenpretty small recently, so that's
another another factor of it.
They kind of need more runnersso what's your mile time average
?
Yeah, so like um, like injunior year I was really good.
I was really set with some iprlike in like near the end of the
year with like around like a5.12.

Speaker 1 (15:26):
Wow.

Speaker 2 (15:29):
It's not that good, honestly, but what I was most
happy about, though, was justthe progress I was making.
This year, I was a little lessfocused, so my time currently is
like around, like maybe likearound a 5.30.
A couple of seconds, you knowit's below that, but like it's a
progress part, and I'm stilltrying to get down as much as
possible, and I'm also kind oftransitioning to running the 32
now more a little bit.

Speaker 1 (15:49):
Which is a two mile basically.

Speaker 2 (15:51):
Yeah, so that's.
You know, that's something Iwas almost a little hesitant to
do, a little nervous about, butwhich, um?

Speaker 1 (16:00):
what was your last two?
Uh, 3,200 time.

Speaker 2 (16:03):
Uh, it was my second time running it and at least I
said a PR.
It was like a 1252.
So that's nice.
You know, I wish it was betterthan I expected at least.
So you know, maybe last year Iprobably could have run faster.
But you know, I'm just.
I'm glad I'm still able to getinto that rhythm.

Speaker 1 (16:16):
You took the SAT early, right after your freshman
year.
Would you recommend that forpeople to do?

Speaker 2 (16:21):
Most times people just go with the typical
standard trajectory of doing it,maybe late sophomore year or in
the middle of the junior year,which the thing is obviously
that works.
That's generally what isconsidered the standard.
When mom was the first talkingabout doing that, I was like,
just really, is it reallynecessary to do this differently

(16:43):
?
Is that really going to help mein any way or is this going to
make my summer more difficult?
But looking back, I think forme at least it was the right
move.
Like I was less busy freshmansummer than, obviously, my
consecutive summers.
So I think that leveraging thattime, taking advantage of it,
is, you know it's something thathelps.
It depends on what you think isbest for you, what your

(17:05):
circumstances are, whether howbusy you are, but I think for me
, at the very least, taking itduring freshman summer was a
good choice.

Speaker 1 (17:10):
You remember the test prep like how intensive it was.
Was it fun to do that thatsummer?

Speaker 2 (17:15):
It wasn't fun at all.
But, like I mean you know,taking a lot of practice tests,
and of course it also depends onthe kind of prep you do, in a
sense, because for me personally, I was in, like this summer
program that was specificallycurated for the SAT Right and it
had very strict timetables.
It was meant to prepare youover a specific amount of time
and go over specific parameters.

(17:37):
For a lot of kids that can helpstructure the process.
The process I mean itdefinitely is at the very least
for standardized test prep.
So CSAT, act, I think that it'sdefinitely something where
structured, structured, focus,like regimented prep, is very
helpful.

Speaker 1 (17:52):
So, speaking of structure, talk about developing
your study habits, your timemanagement skills.
What have you developed overyour four years in high school
in terms of what kind of personare you, in terms of how you
study, how you you know, how youprep your time management?

Speaker 2 (18:07):
Yeah.
So, um, I think time managementskills definitely was something
that, um, you know, you kind of, I think I cultivated kind of
early on, maybe like middleschool.
I mean, it's something that Ithink inherent to me.
I'm just kind of like I just,you know, I just like I'm very
passionate about betteringmyself as a learner and you know
doing the work that's necessary.
So I think that you know I had agood enough foundation going

(18:31):
into high school and, um,obviously, like you know,
there's things I could do, a lotbetter, things I could prove on
, but in general, like you know,um are you very regimented and
structured, where you have aschedule, or are you more of a
procrastinator and you let it gountil the last second?
I'd say like a mix Like I don'tknow, like I mean, you know I
can be more disciplined at times, like I could definitely not
procrastinate.
But you know, sometimes I guess, maybe when I'm feeling like it

(18:54):
or when it's just the timepresents itself, like I'm, like
you know, I can also turn it onthe side of me where I'm doing,
you know, more and moredisciplined and more structured
now I'm doing things.
It's way that depends on theway that you want to.
You want to take advantage ofwhat's available to you, what
kind of person you are, and youknow there's so many methods you
can use, so many strategies.

Speaker 1 (19:11):
So many Are there any strategies that you use in
particular.

Speaker 2 (19:14):
Not really Like.
I mean, it's like you know,like I don't use like the
Pomodoro really, but I know thatthat works for some people, but
also like um, I think ingeneral it's just a matter of
mindset.
So it's what you know.
If you want to make that change, if you feel like you want to
make a change in your habits,you can do that.

Speaker 1 (19:31):
So you've been pretty happy with how you've been
doing with your study habits andyour time management.

Speaker 2 (19:35):
I think it's worked.
It can always be better, though, so I think that's something I
still want to improve on.

Speaker 1 (19:38):
What are your time sucks?
What are the things that sortof you really enjoy doing that
uh are not academic, that sortof you know, take you away from
things um, I don't.

Speaker 2 (19:50):
I think in general it's just probably like
scrolling.
That is kind of, I think, everykid's phone surfing, every high
school kid's pitfall at thispoint I mean, do you keep track
of your screen time at all?
um, like from time to time, likehonestly, I'm not the biggest
fan of doing that, just speakingout because, like I don't think
keeping track, being aware ofyou know, screen time is
important, isn't important.
But it's also like it tends tobe inaccurate in a sense, like

(20:12):
in how it's calculated, like youthink so, not just I think so,
I know so.
Like when it tells me I'm on,like I'm being honest.
Like when it tells me I'm onthe phone for like 20 hours just
because, like I left it on forlike a period of time or
something, or like it justmiscalculated it because I had
that has happened a couple times.
And like when it's just someridiculous number and I want to
look at my screen time and seewhat it says here keep going but

(20:33):
yeah, I mean, uh, that'ssomething you should probably
keep track of for sure, though,um, um, you know, I mean I'm not
like someone.
I don't think I've never reallyhad chronic issues like maybe
like some people, where Idefinitely need some kind of
limiter on myself.

Speaker 1 (20:46):
It says two hours for me, but this is my second phone
, so probably if you doubled itit would be like four hours a
day, at least minimum for me.
What would you think yourscreen time would be?
I mean, do you want to check?

Speaker 2 (20:57):
Okay, let's see, it usually varies kind of wildly
week to week anyway, but I cansee, okay, uh daily average
around like uh seven hours whoa,is that a lot or average for
you?

Speaker 1 (21:13):
think for kids?
Um, I don't know I mean like,is that accurate, do you think?
Um, I mean, oh, that, like, Imean, like I, I guess, I mean
actually I think that's probablyone more more, one of the more
accurate assessments I've uhseen so what do you use app wise
most phone Like what is it thatyou scroll most on?

Speaker 2 (21:34):
I think for me it's probably like I'm actually the
YouTube guy.
I, like you, know YouTube andYouTube shorts too.
Actually I guess people aren'tthat partial towards that.
It's okay to my age, butobviously, like you know, the
big, obviously I'm still also onthings, like you know.

Speaker 1 (21:52):
TikTok, Snapchat, Instagram those are maybe the
and what does your feed show?

Speaker 2 (21:54):
you mostly Like a lot of what?
Yeah, because I think, ingeneral, instagram is probably
the most universal app amongkids, at least that I know.
I don't know anyone who usesFacebook, but I know everyone
who uses Instagram and they usethat as the main mode of
communication when it comes toall-purpose communication, when
it comes to posts, how?

Speaker 1 (22:08):
How come Sasha uses Snap almost more than IG, don't
you think?

Speaker 2 (22:12):
Yeah, well, I mean obviously like it serves
different purposes though,because like I mean, I feel like
Snap almost has become like thenew, just messenger app.

Speaker 1 (22:18):
Oh messenger system.

Speaker 2 (22:19):
But obviously, like it doesn't have the same kinds
of general posts or you know, orkind of consistent presence
that something like Instagramhas.
So like that's kind of why Isee Instagram as the main forum.

Speaker 1 (22:29):
I know Susan and I have not done any kind of
regulation for you guys on yourphones Like we've.
Just we got you guys phonespretty early on as kids and have
not really sort of stopped youguys from using it.
Is that really the best way toregulate kids in terms of phone
is just to trust them with it,because I mean, some kids could

(22:51):
be, maybe Others can't Like.
What do you think in generalpeople's policies should be?

Speaker 2 (22:57):
I mean, I'm not.

Speaker 1 (22:58):
I can't really speak from the lens of a parent or
someone who's but then lookabout your peers, like how they
use their phones, yeah, and likeso Is it even realistic to try
to regulate phone use for kids.

Speaker 2 (23:11):
That's the thing In terms of the realism.
I actually don't think it'sthat particularly realistic,
Because I actually do know somekids do actually have specific
screen time adjustments, Likethere's the screen time thing on
the iPhone.
There's a password that youhave to enter to remove it.

Speaker 1 (23:30):
Really.

Speaker 2 (23:31):
Yeah, or else you're barred from access.
But, um, I don't know, I know alot of kids just have the
password or you can just getaround it like what?
Almost by like design though,because it's like, it's almost
like a nominal thing, like, yeah, like you know, I have screen
time and my parents said it andthey want me to use my phone
less, but they also know that,like you know, you know I can
also remove it and like theydon't really care.

Speaker 1 (23:49):
Right.
So it's just like when you'redriving and you see that speed
limit sign and it says too fast,too fast.

Speaker 2 (23:56):
Sure, sure, yeah, that's a good analogy I think.
But yeah, in general, like Idon't think most kids my age and
most kids my age like might saythey have a problem with screen
time.
But like know it's somethingthat like is actively like being
detrimental.
But you know, of course it'sprobably something that most
kids I think can improve myselfincluded.

Speaker 1 (24:16):
You know it was funny .
I I sent you that article aboutthat guy, quan the professional
baseball player, and um, he hada story where he was in college
and he was supposed to studyfor a final and the new fall
Fallout game came out and soinstead of studying, he played
that until like 3 am.
He failed his final.

(24:38):
He was in a tremendous amountof trouble and it was one of
those kind of realizations thatlike he needed to figure out how
to get his life in order.
Do you see your peers, anyonelike that where you know they're
smart kids?
Everyone's obviously prettysmart, but sometimes it's that
sort of self-management that islacking in terms of being able

(25:00):
to be successful in life.

Speaker 2 (25:01):
I mean respect to him , man, I mean follow.
That's a, that's a dangeroustemptation.
Yeah, it's like.
But, yeah, like, I think that,yeah, actually, you know, I mean
, yeah, I think it's a kind ofmix.
It depends on, I guess, theenvironment you're surrounded by
too and the kinds of people youinteract with.
But yeah, I think again's aboutthat self-regulation.
That was the most importantpart.

(25:31):
It's the fact that you know, doyou?
So I think that's whatdistinguishes between maybe
having a specific problem andhaving needing a change in
discipline and mindset versus,yeah, like you know, everyone
has their pitfalls, but at theend of the day, I know what's
good for me and and you knowthis doesn't define me as a
person if I make a mistake ortwo here, maybe we should all
have a phone holiday.

Speaker 1 (25:51):
Take away everybody's phone for a week.

Speaker 2 (25:53):
Well, actually, like you know, my school is there.
There have been um phone freefridays at my school that
they've been running as like alittle event that they've been
doing for a little.
Did you participate in it?
I haven't done one, okay, well,I was absent one of those days,
but yeah, like it's uh, yeah,but like that's the thing, like
people are very cognizant ofwhat this means.
So, at the very least, we'reaware of what's good for us and
we're aware of keeping track ofthose things.

Speaker 1 (26:14):
Yeah well, awareness and doing are two totally
different things.
Let's talk about yourapplication for colleges.
So why did you choose Duke asyour ED?

Speaker 2 (26:25):
Yeah.
So I think that decision it wasa little gradual maybe, Because
I think I mean it's a bigdecision and like go look, going
into it.
I was just thinking, okay, likeI know, I know my sister goes
to Duke, I know that we're kindof a Duke family, so, um, you

(26:48):
know, and I've always kind ofbeen associated with the school
for a while, so like I've justkind of had this, you know, you
know this inherent connection asa family in a little bit of a
sense, Duke it's an amazingschool, it's an amazing
institution.
There's so many things about itthat are to love and, you know,
after touring and aftereverything I've been seeing,
after things Sasha tells me todo, as you know, literally as a

(27:14):
sibling of someone who goesthere role obviously that kind
of gives you, puts an intentionon that school that absolutely
that nothing else really can.

Speaker 1 (27:18):
So I think that, yeah , it ended up seeing like a nice
choice for me, a good choice,one that wasn't forced.
I feel in retrospect now, uh, Iprobably wouldn't.
You're right, we're a dukefamily.
We went to so many games welike, wore so much duke stuff.
I went to do basketball campsand all this stuff.
And retrospect, I think I Iwould have changed our approach
to it.
I think we would have tried tobe more non-denominational,
maybe go to different basketballgames and I know you know

(27:40):
Susan's such a huge Duke fan nowand it would have been hard.
But I don't like—in retrospect,I didn't like having that
pressure on you guys because itis a great school, of course,
but it was the only school youguys because it is a great
school, of course, but it wasthe only school you guys really
knew growing up.
And if I, I think, had either ofyou guys not gotten in, it

(28:00):
would have felt like it was ahuge letdown to you guys and I
did.
I never wanted that to happenand you know, luck broke both
your guys way.
But I think putting that kindof unconscious pressure where
all we did was have Duke stuff,all the crap that was in our

(28:20):
house was Duke, like we had Dukein the garage gym, like the
sign and all of that inretrospect was a mistake.
I never in the future wouldever want to put that kind of
emphasis on a particularuniversity for my kids growing
up, even if it was just not likeyou have to go there, but it
was just surrounding you.
Um, not that it's not a greatschool, obviously, but had we,

(28:53):
you know, leaned into BC as muchor anything else, then I think
the letdown had you guys notgotten in would not have been so
bad.
No, yeah, like I definitely get,I totally get that actually,
because like it's again, it'sreally it's not about any kind
of particular pressure, but likeagain, when you kind of start
is like just, you know, likethat, that is just that can be
difficult to cope with, in asense, like and it is, and I I

(29:14):
remember sasha's friend, the onewhose family's all princeton,
princeton, princeton, princetonand and everything was princeton
, and she didn't get intoprinceton and I think I mean now
she's very happy where she is,but on the other hand I think it
at that time it must have beenso hard for her to feel like you
know, that she had nothing butPrinceton gear in her house,
like they had Princeton pillowsand Princeton chairs and all

(29:37):
this sort of stuff, and so Idon't think anyone should really
lean into a school for anyreason, too much.

Speaker 2 (29:45):
I agree, yeah, I think, like you know, you don't
want to hire anyone who'ssomething that is out of your
control.
I agree, yeah, so I think, likeyou know, don't, you don't want
to tire doing something that isout of your control?
Like, obviously, like, um, it'sperfectly fine to support a
school or rep a school, right,you can get involved with the
school however much you want tobe.
Obviously, um, you know, as aparent, like you know, you'll be

(30:07):
proud of them and that they'llbe happy where they go.
You know, I would have been, Itotally would have been happy, I
think, if I went to, you know,another school, any other school
that was considering dirtprocess, um, because I did have
some good options, but I'm proud, which I'm lucky, to have have
had so, um, would you have goneto usc, had you not gotten into
duke?
um, yeah, I think that was.
That was what I was lookingtowards, really, like it was my

(30:27):
option.
So I mean, yeah, like that wasmy number one option.
So, again, like that's just thereality for so many people and
you know, basically myselfincluded where, like you, just
you know, maybe you don't getinto your top choice per se, but
you tend to get into anothergreat school that you're happy
to have gone into, that you knowwas difficult to get into and
like it, just you know itdoesn't reflect anything about
you as a person, you as a, youas a learner, you as a student.

Speaker 1 (30:48):
So Is there a lot of peer pressure?
Do you feel that at school withyour classmates in terms of who
gets into what, or people beingjudged because of the
admissions or where they getinto?

Speaker 2 (30:59):
Yeah, so I mean, obviously it does vary from
school to school, but I think ingeneral in my school it's not
that big of a problem.
I mean, I think, if anything,it varies more grade by grade,
like between the level ofcutthroatness or like general,
what's your, what's your grade?
The general approach and Ithink in my grade is we're not
too cutthroat.
I think it's pretty good.

(31:24):
Like you know, I think we're anincredibly competent grade in
terms of you know, in terms ofour abilities and like you know.

Speaker 1 (31:27):
Obviously, that I feel like almost like our
admissions from the cyclereflects that, like you know,
this has been one of thesuccessful years for delight and
like do you know anyone in yourclass who did not get into a
school they really wanted to getinto, or any school like you
know, even if it uh, some?
You know that they weredisappointed with the results of
their college admissions, andhow had they dealt with that?

Speaker 2 (31:44):
um, yeah, I mean I, I think so like it's like I mean
honestly I don't you know,barely, I really don't try and
pry too much into other people'sbusiness.

Speaker 1 (31:53):
Of course.

Speaker 2 (31:53):
But but yeah, but like totally, like I think I've,
yeah definitely seen that playout.
Well, obviously, yeah, likethere is there's disappointment.
You know I haven't necessarilybeen like super close with
someone who might have gottenlike super devastating news like
particular to them.
Obviously there are people whohave I've known some people who
have been disappointed bycertain results or certain
decisions.

Speaker 1 (32:13):
There was a kid in a private school up in was it New
Hampshire or Massachusetts whokilled himself because he did
not get into the schools hewanted to get into.
Yeah, I mean, isn't thatterrible?
Do you think that that'sself-inflicted pressure or
pressure just brought on byparents, or both?

Speaker 2 (32:33):
Well, I think it's, but almost always both in those
cases like because, um, you knowit's both nature versus nurture
, because, like when you kind ofengender, when an expectation
is engendered into you from,like you know, a young age maybe
, or you know, over, maybe overeven the course of high school,
like when, especially whenyou're again in a very I think a
lot of it depends on the kindof open, openness of the
environment you're in.
I guess, maybe, maybe at aboarding school even, it can be

(32:54):
more, it can be more difficult.
Sure, I mean I don't, I mean Ihaven't been in boarding school,
but like I imagine thatenvironment might be more yeah,
your parents are around, otherpeople aren't around that may be
more insular, like, yeah, don'tfeel like you have anyone you
can talk to outside of thisspace, outside of this context,
when there's so much else totalk about and there's so much
more out there and so much moreto think about besides just an
admission decision.
But like, yeah, I don't thinkparents in general can also

(33:16):
should be very careful to likeagain, just not to make sure
that their you know theirchild's experiences, child's
experiences, their own, and thatyou know they are fully aware
of the realities and just therandomness of the process as
well.

Speaker 1 (33:31):
I remember now maybe you could describe the emotions
you felt when you applied ED.
You got the deferral for thatED decision from Duke.
We were all there as yourfamily.
Tell me about that moment.

Speaker 2 (33:48):
Yeah, I think that that moment was, yeah, obviously
disappointing, but, um, youknow, and I think it's different
because, like it's your firstdecision, it was the first
decision I got back, at least.
So what were you thinking?
Um, you know, and yeah, so,like, um, you know, I think,
leading to the build-up, I wasjust like I was very nervous,
but at the same time again, Iwas just keeping them, keeping
in mind, like, okay, I think Ihave a chance, you know, I think

(34:09):
that, um, obviously, like youknow, it's kind of different
when it's not a binary um result, like you know, it's oh, like
you know, if it's deferral, likethat's, like you know, in the
middle, like it's intermediate,like you don't, there's no
specific set path for what toexpect and how you're supposed
to feel.
I guess in a sense so.
But so I just knew that I waseither going to be, you know,
disappointed or happy and um,going into, when I got that kind

(34:32):
of disappointment, I was likeyou know, I was pretty, you know
, you know it was it's upsetting, but like, also, at the same
time, it's like um, when I havetime to reflect on it after, you
can be like, okay, yeah,there's since, since DD, like
there's so many things left todo, there's so much work that I
put in that is going to bereflected now elsewhere because
of new decisions that are goingto be coming back to schools and

(34:53):
tons of schools that you knowI'm super interested in.
I love and um, um, I'd love togo to and um.
So, like it's just, I think, ifanything, just the waiting is
difficult, like because whenyour number one choice um is not
going to is going to beliterally is going from the
first to the last decision, thatcomes out like um kind of
anticipation builds up way toomuch, I think, and that's just

(35:14):
kind of difficult to handle, butespecially maybe to apply to as
many schools Because there's somuch more news left, there's so
much more things to focus onand worry about, right, so it's
never not going to be stressfuland it's never not going to be
disappointing when things don'tgo your way, like that.

Speaker 1 (35:29):
How do you manage that time?
Because, like you said, there'sit's a long period.
So, after you got the deferral,you did get a bunch of positive
news with other admissions, butyou're still, like you said,
waiting for the whole process toplay out, especially since,
like you said, Duke's admissionsdecision at the end was was one
of the very last ones.
It's.

(35:49):
It is a very, very, very, verystressful time at that time.
So advice on how to sort ofdeal with that and try to keep
moving forward.

Speaker 2 (35:59):
Yeah.
So I think that again, you haveto contextualize it, you have
to realize that it's just onedecision in a long list, in a
long process that you preparedfor.
Like you know, you applied tomultiple schools because you're
prepared for any outcome.
You're prepared for, you'retrying to account for any
possibility.

Speaker 1 (36:13):
So, um, did you use anything to help lift you up or
make you feel better or getthrough it?

Speaker 2 (36:19):
um, I mean not really , I mean you just.
I mean you just kind of dealwith it like it's like it's not
the end of the world, likeyou're not dead, like it's just
like.
But obviously, like, yeah, likeyou know, everyone knows what
this feels like, what it canfeel like.
You know what kind of badthings can arise, what kind of
emotions you're going to befeeling, and you know people
deal with it differently.
I think, for me at least, theway I just kind of dealt with it
is just, you know, realizinghow competitive the process,

(36:40):
especially the ED process, isfor so many schools.
Like that, just, you know,again, again, it comes back into
reality.
It's not like doesn't meananything about other decisions,
doesn't mean anything about you,it just means that things
didn't go your way this one timeand you know you can hope for
the best and you can.
But obviously there's morethings to look forward to in the
immediate present and um, thatand so like, yeah, so you have

(37:00):
to kind of do a mental shift.
Definitely you have to accept,you have to explain yourself
like, yeah, that this is okayand now this is going to be a
longer process.
Like you know, you're not goingto get any gratification like
there's no, there's no quickending to this.
Like you know, um, it's goingto be something that you have to
deal with.
There's going to be more stress.
You know it's annoying but,again, at the very least, your
applications are in.
There's nothing you can reallydo about it right now.

(37:20):
So you should mostly just focuson enjoying what's ahead of you
and, you know, realizing that,at the very least, you have the
power of choice.
So that is something you haveto keep in mind that you can't
be too fixated on on um one out.
You can't be too fixated on oneoutcome or one trajectory that
you're looking forward because,um, there's so many different
factors that are now that nowmatter in a sense.

(37:41):
So, like I think, against asha,going through the exact same
trajectory was super importantor helpful, because, like you
saw that, yeah, because I cansee you know her disappointment,
but also also hurling forwardum, new things.
You know, hopefully gettinggood news back, that and um, uh,
just realizing that again it'snow it's a long game but, um,
that's stressful, but again andit does it is kind of lay an

(38:02):
undertone among, like under theother things you're doing as a
student, but um, it, um is again, it's also out of your hands
now.

Speaker 1 (38:08):
So, yeah, I almost forgot I was going to ask you
before during your study habitsabout advice you would give
students in terms of sleeppattern and habits.
I've seen both like you doreally well with your sleep
patterns like this past week,actually, I think you did and
then in the past where yoursleep patterns were really
disjointed and like not um,probably optimal for like what

(38:32):
you were doing.
So how do you try to manageyour sleep and and what do you
do to try to do your best interms of sleep?

Speaker 2 (38:39):
yeah, um, I think a lot of it stems to how motivated
you are to do all the sleeplike it, just um, you know,
obviously.

Speaker 1 (38:45):
But again, are you not motivated?

Speaker 2 (38:47):
well, sometimes I can be, sometimes I can't be, and
it varies more than it shouldprobably, but I guess, speaking
in general terms, yeah,obviously you want to have good
sleep habits, you want to beconsistent with your schedule,
you want to get enough sleep,especially as a kid.
Every night we hear this somuch it really crates on your
nerves eventually.
But obviously I think most kidsI know probably don't adhere to

(39:10):
a consistent schedule or don'tget as much as they
scientifically should.
That's why there's so muchrhetoric around this and why
there's so much fear-mongeringnews and there's just so many
advisory warnings that kidsaren't getting enough sleep.
But yeah, and we're not, that'sjust how it is.
But obviously we want to bestriving At least me personally
I want to be striving towardsmaking better and I've had good

(39:32):
moments, bad moments.
Like there's inconsistencies allthe time and a lot of it is
also circumstantial, like it'snot sometimes just because, like
you only have like a busierweek in terms of schoolwork or
athletic load, I'm like thatjust inherently makes it more
difficult to adapt and thenaccount for those changes if
you're not, maybe if you're notagain motivated to make that
change is there any tip that youhave in terms of trying to get

(39:54):
better sleep, like that you'vedone?
uh, I'd say that actually Ithink like managing like
managing eating is probably good, like your times, really eating
times, yeah, like making surethat you, um, making sure that
like you don't over, you eat atgood times, like you know you
have consistent, like you know,not like necessarily through
meal to day thing, but like youhave consistently time for

(40:16):
dinner, things like that, like Ithink that actually I think you
do eat pretty regularly.
Yeah, I think it's justsomething I'd say in terms of
dinner at night.
Yeah, getting good like showerroutine as well, oh yeah.
It seems like a littlearbitrary.

Speaker 1 (40:30):
You shower at night or in the morning?

Speaker 2 (40:32):
I usually do both actually.
So like yeah, but like and butI think it's just all about.
It's kind of about puttingputting sleep in terms of that
wider routine that you're usedto, because that helps your
circadian rhythm, but also thatum that conditions you to um,
that conditions you to expectinga routine.
It kind of facilitates thatprocess, because when you have a

(40:54):
routine with other things, itties into sleep as well, so
let's get back to so.

Speaker 1 (40:59):
You went through the whole process.
You got into a bunch of schools, including USC, which would
have been a real choice for you,and then the last day where you
opened up the portal and yougot that acceptance from Duke,
what were you thinking beforeyou opened it?
And then, what were youthinking when you opened it and
after you opened it?

Speaker 2 (41:19):
I think you know Well , I mean it was a pretty rough
week the week before because itwas the last week of spring
break for us, but last week ofspring break, but I was also
very sick for that entire weekpretty much.
So that kind of anticipationwas a little difficult to handle
, I guess.
I mean, I didn't really havetime to live through it kind of

(41:44):
and just it kind of and likejust really be in a good state
of mind and be kind of in the bepresent in the moment, cause
everything was my whole body,clock was messed up and like
that.
But you know, I guess I wasstill able to tell myself like,
yeah, I am pretty nervous, butyou know, at the end of the day,
like it's about, it's about you, no-transcript.

(42:11):
So that means the process isdone, um, so once it comes out,
regardless of what the outcomeis, you're gonna be, you're
gonna be, you know, you'll knowwhat school you'll be going to,
in a sense.
So, um, the process will beover, the stress will be over,
the anticipation.
So that actually was superhelpful for me in like
contextualizing this and, um,seeing again, seeing the bigger
picture, um, but obviously like,yeah, it's nervous, it's as it

(42:33):
would be for anyone, I'm sure.
And um, uh, I was pretty nervoussitting up to it.
Um, you know, I I almost didn'tfeel like I had enough time to
prepare mentally for it.
But again, I also realized thatthat's kind of ridiculous to
say, because like you're just,you're just like reading a quick
outcome, like it's nothing,nothing, media just changing at
all.
There's like nothing that youhave to prepare for.
It's just about, um, makingsure that you I don't know just

(42:53):
deal with it, that you deal withit properly.
You have to go in with theright mindset, you come out with
the right mindset.
So, um, leading up to this Iwas nervous, but, um, um, yeah,
I was just, I was just glad that, I was glad that I had worked
out everything in my mind, Iguess beforehand, and that I
could, um, and then again, theprocess was going to be over,
regardless, you know, regardlessof what happens.
So that was a great reassuranceto me.

(43:15):
You know I was just luckyenough to be able to get into
schools that I was super happyto go to.
You know, before that as well,that reassurance is super
helpful.
Not everyone has that for sure.
Um, at the end of the day,everyone, just again, everyone's
gonna open the same, opensthese sessions in the same way,
everyone's gonna.
Everyone understands that thisis such a uh, you know, like
such a transient process.
Like you know, you open it,that's it, it's over, it's done.

(43:35):
Like you, um, you now I meannow you have to deal with
consequences.
But, uh, I think everyone kindof by working that on my mind,
what it meant for what, whateach outcome would mean for me,
working that ahead of time, thathelps and uh, I was very lucky
to be able to you know, um, havethe have my desired outcome
come true?
Yeah, so.

Speaker 1 (43:55):
That was crazy.
I had a hard time actuallybelieving it when it first
happened because I was trying toprepare myself for it not to
happen and be prepared for thatoutcome.

Speaker 2 (44:04):
Yeah, cause I think it's like, when it comes to like
people saying like, yeah,expect the worst, like, yeah,
you can do that, maybe sometimesI have done that because, like
it maybe helps temporaryexpectations, like it feels like
this disappointment will belessened, but like also, at the
same time, like you know, if youhave a chance, like there's no
reason to uh, I feel like it'salmost better to just um, almost
almost, hold like bothperspectives on the thing to see
.
Like, yeah, I have a chance,but if I don't, then I

(44:25):
understand I will.
Maybe at this point I'll be sad, but it's just something I have
to deal with and something thatI know I have tools to deal
with.
I have people around me to helpme.
I can, you know, view this in abetter context.
I can see the bigger picture.
I can know that I'll be happy,you know.
So it's like, it's just likeit's weird to have so much of
like, so much of yourexpectation determined by one

(44:46):
single decision or something.

Speaker 1 (44:47):
Isn't that crazy.

Speaker 2 (44:48):
At the same time.
That's the reality of theprocess, I guess.
Again that's why you have tobalance everything.
Make sure you're thinking aboutit the right way, you're not
too set on one thing.
You're not going to be so seton a school or something to have
your expectations and then justcrash down because again it's
out of your control.

Speaker 1 (45:07):
You need to adjust your way of thinking around that
and just be appreciative ofwhat comes your way it's a very
mature thought process and andthat's pretty amazing and I know
I can hear Sasha in my headalready saying, well, I knew he
was going to get in the wholetime, like which is what she was
saying before um, so now you'regoing to be starting at duke in

(45:28):
as a freshman in the fall, sowhat is it that you are most
looking forward to in terms ofbeing a freshman in college?

Speaker 2 (45:37):
um, I think honestly, just the uh, the open-endedness
, like I think the open, theopen-endedness and like the
ability to kind of have so muchmore freedom than you know, than
anyone expects, and like that'skind of what most kids say
initially, that's like yourinitial reaction to what college
life is supposed to be like,but also the amount of resources
that you know that would beavailable to me to kind of shape

(45:58):
my path, the ability to like,actualize my learning so early
on and, just you know, havedecisions for majors, like to
have the opportunities meet newpeople, um, really, um, really
really envision a greateracademic journey for me, like
that is just super exciting.
Doing Duke's campus.
It just makes it all the better.
And, like you know, having allthe resources there, um,
everything that they have and,of course, everything the school

(46:20):
culture and, um, everythingaround that is amazing and um,
um, I think it's such anenvironment where that's super
supportive.
It's super nice, superaesthetically pleasing, but also
you have everything at yourfingertips, kind of.
And it's going to bechallenging.
There's going to be a lot ofdifficulties, maybe some bumps

(46:41):
in the road, but academicallyit's going to be probably maybe
a difficult learning curve insome aspects, but also the fact
that all people go go through itwith, can be able to see so,
see so many places you know,meet so many people and just in
general, have fun also whiledoing it is just in a great
atmosphere is just going to besuper, super great, I think.
And you know, having the best,you know, having world-class um

(47:04):
access to sport at my fingertipsis just is just, you know,
going to make it so much easier.
In retrospect now, as parents,don't hold back, is there
anything that we did that youthought was particularly helpful
during this journey, and thenanything that we definitely
could have done better or beenmore aware of or could have been

(47:26):
more supportive about um, yeah,so like, um I'm not 100 sure
like I think, like I think youguys honestly did a pretty much
as well of a job as any of youguys could, as any parent could,
you know, it comes to guidingchild through the process.
You know being there, but also,you know, minimally invasive, I
guess, like and um just doingeverything being the presence

(47:48):
that is needed, as any parentwants to be, but also, um,
ensuring that your child isaware of what kind of
responsibilities lie on them.
And you know and cope andyou're helping the child deal
with the pressures, helping themdeal with um, you know any kind
of difficulties, you know,whether it be academic or
otherwise.
Um, and just you know always bewilling to face whatever

(48:08):
problem there might be.
That's all super good and Ithink I did an amazing job with
that and, like, I think, maybeif you had to want to do
anything differently, like youcould.
I think your point may be about,like you know, keeping you know
, maybe I mean it's kind of outof your control.
Like you know, maybe if you're afan of a school, keeping it out
of the child's purview in asense, like can help, like it's

(48:30):
obviously kind of out of yourcontrol, seeing as it's not
something that, like, is forcedon us in the context of college.
It's just something that happensto be related to that.
You know, as you grow up andthis reality of college faces
you and like, yeah, that couldbe something that you know

(48:51):
parents maybe share away from,but at the same time, again,
it's kind of under your controlbut in the day, but also making
sure that you know your child isum aware of the realities, of
course, and is um just matureand emotionally mature enough to
accept whatever comes their way, and but also you know to do
everything they can to try andmake the process easier for them
to carry their mindset into it.
That is what's always importantand I think you guys honestly
just did a great job with that,thanks.
And I mean, of course, having asibling to go through ahead of
me.
I mean that was probably harderfor her, honestly, than it was

(49:13):
for me.
So, like, that is just, youknow that that helps
tremendously.

Speaker 1 (49:17):
Like, yeah, well, if I had to do it again, I'd be a
fan and, uh, instead of havingcoach k stuff, I'd have have
Thibodeau stuff or you know,patrick Ewing stuff instead.
So but you're right, thanks, Iappreciate that.
Any last words of advice foranyone who is in high school.

(49:38):
Maybe they're struggling, maybethey're about to face the
college process and it looks sodaunting and just hearing about,
about, you know, seeing theirolder peers or anyone else going
through it and saying this isjust.

Speaker 2 (49:50):
I feel overwhelmed yeah, um, I think that there's
more advice I'd give especiallysince it's so fresh in my mind,
I guess is just to um and enjoybeing in the present.
In a sense, I kind of enjoythat.
It's almost just kind ofbackground music, because
looking back, I almost think tomyself, like how was I not more
stressed at certain moments ofthe process?
Like how was I not feeling moredaunted and feeling more

(50:13):
intimidated?
But I also realized that, ofcourse, being in that moment,
like having everything in frontof me, having so many things to
worry about outside of theprocess, and just think about
and enjoy like that obviously isjust that kind of keeps you
going.
That keeps you going and thatis super important to have.
Like having having you know,systems of support, people you
can talk to a way, to a way todistance yourself from the

(50:33):
process.
So that is very important.
But also, when it comes to justdealing with it directly, like
it's you know, having the factthat we can have variety in the
schools that we apply to is justso important because it's
against it.
Just try and depolarize theprocess as much as possible to
make it not a binary, you know,to make it not feel binary,
because that, uh, people canfall into those thinking traps.
But, um, you know, just makingsure that you're not being

(50:57):
you're not, um, over dramatizingit, you're not, you know you're
not putting too much weightinto one thing.
Obviously that can be difficultdepending on who you are and the
kinds of schools you apply to,but, um, by descent, I think,
for me, just realizing there'smore, always more head,
realizing it's a long processand you kind of even if, yeah, I
mean like, at the very least itcan be a long process, it
depends um and again, realizingthat everyone's going to the

(51:19):
same thing and that, um, yourstress is not exclusive and that
, you know, regardless of howyou want to cope with your
stress, you can always have thatreassurance that, um, that that
you know it doesn't define youand that nothing that comes out
of this is going to say anythingabout you as a person that you
didn't really already know.
So, um, you know the thinkingbeyond, like, I mean, that's a

(51:42):
very philosophical way ofthinking about it, but you, but
in general, just knowing thatyou're going to be okay and that
the stress that comes your wayit's normal.
So, as you go through thisprocess, as it kind of peters
out or picks up.
You have to just worry aboutother things, first, obviously,
but then obviously, as thingswind down and things kind of

(52:03):
climax, it just comes down to umbeing securing yourself, um
realizing that it's about you.
So how you feel is mostimportant.
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