The Hidden Burden of Being ‘The Strong One'

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Episode Summary:

You’ve always been the one who holds it all together. The one others lean on. The one who doesn’t break.

But what happens when being strong becomes the reason you feel invisible?

In this powerful episode, Jama Pantel explores the quiet weight of being “the strong one”—especially for women who’ve learned to lead, perform, and push through at the expense of their own needs. If you’ve ever felt like asking for help is weakness or showing your real self might cost you credibility, this conversation is for you.

This episode will challenge what you believe about strength, leadership, and visibility, and remind you that you don’t have to carry it all alone.

Timestamps:

00:00 – Why strength without support isn’t confidence, it’s survival
00:55 – How being “the strong one” turns into being unseen
01:30 – Personal stories of burnout, perfection, and isolation
02:50 – Real leadership is about being human, not polished
03:04 – Brave steps to stop hiding and start connecting
03:23 – The truth: your softness matters, your story matters

Key Takeaways:

• Being strong isn’t the problem. Being unseen while being strong is.
• Many women confuse being reliable with becoming invisible.
• Real connection happens when we share the parts we’ve been hiding.
• You don’t have to be polished to be powerful. You just have to be honest.
• One real post. One honest moment. One brave ask for support. That’s where it begins.

Keywords:

• burden of being the strong one
• high-achieving women and burnout
• emotional labor and leadership
• visibility and vulnerability
• women who feel unseen
• real connection online
• personal branding through storytelling
• perfectionism and identity
• strong women and isolation

Call to Action:

If this episode spoke to you, share it with another strong woman who might be quietly carrying more than anyone realizes. And if you haven’t already, leave a review on Apple or Spotify. This helps get this message in front of more women who need it.

You don’t have to prove anything. You just have to keep showing up as you.

https://www.jamapantel.com

Episode Transcript

Jama Pantel (00:00):
You've been the strong one for so long.
You don't even know what itfeels like to not hold it all
together.
But strength without support,that's not confidence, it's
survival.
Hey y'all, it's your podcast,bestie Jama again.
And today we're talking aboutsomething I know too many of us
carry quietly.
The hidden burden of alwaysbeing the strong one.

(00:22):
You know what I'm talking about.
You're the one everyone dependson, the one who's always got
the answers, the one who doesn'tfall apart, doesn't ask for
help and doesn't make a scene.
But what happens when you needsomeone?
What happens when being strongturns into being silenced?
Let's unpack this for a bit,because this isn't just about

(00:45):
mental health.
It's about visibility, identityand why showing up as your full
self feels so hard when you'vebeen taught to keep it all
together.

I want to start by saying this: being the strong one is not your (00:55):
undefined
personality.
It's a role you were taught toplay, maybe as the oldest
daughter, like me, maybe as ahigh performer, also like me.
Maybe because people around youdidn't have the capacity to
take care of you, so you learnedto take care of yourself, also,

(01:16):
like me, and somewhere alongthe way, you confused being
reliable with being invisible.
Here's what I see all the time.
Women with big ideas, powerfulvoices and stories that matter
holding back because they don'twant to be too much, watering
themselves down to stay likable,posting safe content because

(01:39):
they're afraid to be vulnerable.
I know I've been there so Iguarantee you can relate too.
But here's the truth.
Being strong isn't the problem.
Being unseen while being strongis the problem.
When you've spent years beingthe one who has it all together,
you start to believe thatasking for help is weakness,

(02:01):
that showing up vulnerablyonline is risky and that if you
really shared what you've beenthrough, people would look at
you differently and maybe theywould, but maybe they'd finally
see you.
So I've played that role toosmiling through burnout,
over-delivering because I didn'twant to disappoint anyone,

(02:23):
showing up polished and perfectwhen I was crumbling inside,
especially in my influencer daysor in my photography business,
people praised my strength, butI always felt so isolated, and
the more I kept it together, theless connected I felt, until I
started telling the truth.
Until I realized that realleadership isn't about being

(02:44):
strong all the time.
It's about being real.
Here's what I want you to heartoday.
Being the strong one doesn'tmean that you never need help.
Your audience doesn't need youto look perfect.
They need you to be human.
You don't build trust by beinginvincible.
You build it by being honest.

(03:04):
If you've been playing thestrong one and you're tired,
here's your next brave stepsforward.
Tell the truth in one post.
Share something real.
Let them see you, not thehighlight reel version of you.
Ask for support before youbreak, even if it's just texting
one friend.
I need to vent.
Say out loud what you've beenholding in, because silence is

(03:28):
heavy and your story is lighterwhen shared.
Being the strong one might havehelped you survive up to this
point, but it's not the wholepicture.
Your softness matters, yourneeds matter, and your real
story, not just the curatedversion, is what will help you

(03:50):
lead, connect and be seen forwho you really are.
You don't have to carry it allalone.
You don't have to proveanything.
You just have to keep showingup as you.
If this episode hit home, I'dlove for you to share it with
another strong woman who mightbe quietly struggling, and if
you haven't yet, leave me areview.
It helps this message reachmore people who need it.

(04:10):
And remember, being strongisn't just about holding it
together.
Sometimes it's about letting go.
Until next time y'all keepliving the whole picture.