You Were Never Too Much. You Were in the Wrong Room.

Send us a text

Episode Summary:

If you’ve ever been told you’re too loud, too confident, too ambitious, or just too much, this episode is for you.

Jama shares a powerful message about what it really means to take up space in a world that often asks women to shrink. Whether you’ve filtered your personality to fit in or stayed quiet to keep the peace, this conversation will help you reframe the narrative and reclaim your presence.

You were never too much. You were just in the wrong room.

Timestamps:

00:00 – What if you're not too much… just in the wrong room?
01:27 – The pressure to shrink: how women are taught to tone themselves down
01:52 – Jama’s personal story: working in politics, labels like “intimidating,” and learning to stop shrinking
02:43 – You weren’t the problem—it was their discomfort with your power
03:01 – Action steps to stop shrinking and start showing up fully
03:30 – A reminder: you don’t have to make yourself smaller to belong
03:55 – Share this with another woman who needs to hear it

Key Takeaways:

• Being labeled “too much” isn’t about you. It’s about how others react to your power.
• Playing small doesn’t protect you—it keeps you stuck.
• Real presence starts when you stop apologizing for who you are.
• You build authority by being fully yourself, not by being more palatable.
• The right rooms don’t ask you to shrink—they make space for your full self.

 Keywords:

too much woman, strong women and visibility, being intimidating as a woman, playing small to be liked, taking up space confidently, high achieving women and leadership, confidence in male-dominated spaces, personal branding for women, women who feel unseen, why women shrink themselves

Call to Action:

If this episode felt like a deep exhale, send it to a friend who’s been shrinking herself to fit into rooms that don’t see her.

And if you haven’t already, leave a quick review. It helps this message reach more women who are ready to show up, speak up, and take up space, unapologetically.

You’re not too much. You’re just more than some people are ready for. And that’s okay.

https://www.jamapantel.com

Episode Transcript

Jama Pantel (00:00):
If you've ever been told you're too loud, too
ambitious, too emotional or toowhatever, maybe you're not too
much.
Maybe you're just not in theright room.
Hey, y'all, it's your podcast,bestie Jama again, and today
we're going there.
If you've ever been labeled toomuch, too talkative, too bold,

(00:20):
too sensitive, too confident too, too whatever, this episode is
for you, because what if youwere never too anything?
What if the problem wasn't you,but the room you were in or the
person you were with?
What if shrinking yourself tofit in has been costing you the
very confidence you've beentrying to build?
Let's talk about how the fearof being too much is holding so

(00:45):
many powerful women back fromfully stepping into their voice,
their visibility and their nextlevel presence.
I want you to think about thelast time you made yourself
smaller.
Maybe you stayed quiet in ameeting, filtered your
personality online or downplayedyour success because you didn't
want to brag.

(01:06):
Was it because someone oncetold you you were too much?
That's not a throwaway comment,y'all.
That's a wound and it runs deep.
For many of us, especially aswomen in male-dominated
industries or high-performancespaces, we've been taught to be
less than in order to be liked.

(01:26):
Lessopinionated, less expressive,
less successful, just enough tonot make anyone uncomfortable.
But let me tell you something Ihad to learn the hard way .
Playing small doesn't keep yousafe.
It keeps you stuck.
And you don't build a powerfulpresence by being digestible to

(01:46):
everyone.
You build it by being fullyyourself, even when it's a lot.
I'vebeen told I'm very independent,
strong, confident, intimidatingeven, and I can't count how
many times I've been told tosmile more or that I look angry,
like I have a restingyou-know-what face, as some
people like to put it.

(02:06):
It used to really bother me.
This came up constantly when Iworked in politics.
The expectation was to soften,to smile, to be agreeable, even
when I had something importantto say, and after a while it got
old.
But what I eventually realizedwas this I wasn't the problem.
I didn't need to shrink or playsmaller just to make other

(02:28):
people more comfortable.
They just weren't the rightroom for me or for the full
version of me, and once Istopped trying to win over the
wrong rooms or the wrong peopleor get a seat at the wrong
tables, the right ones startedshowing up.
e've what I want you to takeaway from this.
You were never too much.
You were just in places wherepeople benefit from your being

(02:50):
smaller.
Your voice was never theproblem.
It was their discomfort withyour power.
Let that sink in.
Here are some actionabletakeaways for you.
If you've been holding back,here's your next move.
Stop apologizing for yourpresence, whether that's in a
caption, a meeting or a pitch.
Drop the disclaimers.

(03:10):
Notice where you shrink.
Get honest.
Where are you playing small tostay liked?
Find the right rooms the onesthat don't ask you to shrink.
The ones that celebrate youbeing too much.
Because the right rooms won'task you to be less.
They'll make room for all ofyou.
You don't need to tone down.

(03:31):
You don't need to make yourselfsmaller so other people feel
more comfortable.
You're not too much, you're nottoo loud, you're not too
confident.
You're just more than somepeople are ready for, and that's
not your burden to carry.
So if no one's told you lately,let me say it you were never
the problem.
You were the proof thatsomething bigger was possible.

(03:53):
Keep being you.
If this episode felt like a deepexhale, share it with someone
else who's been playing small inrooms that don't see her and
leave me a quick review.
It helps this show reach morewomen who are ready to take up
space unapologetically.
Until next time, keep livingthe whole picture.