Episode 204: How to Love Yourself, with Best-Selling Author (And Ellen DeGeneres Favorite!) Rachel Madorsky

“Here’s the myth I want to break: that self-love is selfish. The more we love ourselves, the less attention we have on ourselves and the more generous we become in a very natural, easy, relaxed way.”

~ Rachel Madorsky

How to Love Yourself in Less Than a Week and Also for the Rest of Your LIfe

 

Do you love yourself? Does even reading the question make you uncomfortable? And if it does, why?

If you squirmed a little reading the above, you’re not alone. Most of us will gladly think about those we love and share that with others. But ask us about self-love? Yikes.

Rachel Madorsky is a psychotherapist, executive coach, speaker and best-selling author of the book How To Love Yourself: In Less Than a Week And Also for the Rest of Your Life. (A short, delightful read that was featured in Ellen DeGeneres’ first ever 12 Days at Home Holiday Box in November, 2023!)

After battling with depression, Rachel experienced a turning point when a fellow student in a personal growth course turned to her and said, “All of this would get better if you would love yourself.” As Rachel notes, “In that moment I felt like someone just gave me the cure, and at the same time I wanted to say what does that mean? It’s an easy thing to say but no one tells us what it means or how to do it.”

On this episode of the Brilliantly Resilient podcast, Rachel dispels many misconceptions about self-love, most notably that far from being selfish or self-indulgent, self-love frees us from negative focus on ourselves and gives us more time and ease to love and be generous with others. She also makes a topic which many find uncomfortable, unthreatening and accessible.

Here at Brilliantly Resilient, we don’t shy away from tough topics, and self-love fits the bill. Rachel advises regularly asking “What is the most loving thing I can do for myself right now?” Fortunately, the answer needn’t involve huge steps. Even the smallest step towards self-love and self-care can change the trajectory of a life. As Rachel notes, “Small hinges swing big doors.”

Tune in to this week’s podcast to hear more of Rachel’s wisdom and be sure to listen for these additional bits of Brilliance:

• When we ask a question of ourselves and we listen to the answer and we say yes and do the thing, we are building self-trust at a whole new level…. No one can actually give us the things we need most better than ourselves.

• We think that being hard on ourselves is the thing that will make us better. But the more forgiving, and loving and generous we are with ourselves, the faster the healing, the more we’re capable of giving, the more we’re capable of receiving. It’s important to forgive ourselves and say “I was so human in that moment.”

• We think we are being so loving and forgiving to everyone else, but another truth is we can only take someone as far as we are willing to go. So if we start giving from the overflow (of our own love) rather than our own depletion, it’s a higher quality of care for others.

• Everyone is always worthy of more love. Open the door for more love.

• You can exponentially expand your ability to give and love, and giving and receiving is a circle. The more we actually allow ourselves to receive th