February 13, 2025 • 17 mins
This episode delves into the fine line between self-care and self-indulgence, exploring how we can nurture ourselves meaningfully without falling into the trap of excess. With personal insights and discussions on the impact of social media, we uncover the importance of authentic self-care practices.
• Rediscovering childhood joys as a means of self-care
• The significance of defining real self-care beyond superficial trends
• Understanding the difference between self-care and self-indulgence
• Strategies for finding balance in self-care routines
• The role of boundaries in maintaining emotional health
• Navigating self-care in the era of social media
• Guest insights on mindfulness and its effects on self-care practices
• Encouragement to prioritize personal well-being over societal expectations
• A call to reflect on self-care practices and share experiences with others
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey everyone, welcome back to another episode of
Brother Sister.
Whatever I'm, lisa, Josh is offsomewhere.
Fun doing something great, soI'm flying solo this week.
Today we're going to dive intoa topic that's pretty much
always on my mind the fine linebetween self-care and
self-indulgence.
We often hear about self-careas a way to recharge and nurture
(00:23):
ourselves, but where do we drawthe line and does that line
look different depending on whoyou are?
I want to explore how self-carepractices vary between the
genders, how they can sometimestip into self-indulgence, and
how we can all find a balancethat works for us.
And let's not forget how socialmedia plays into all of this,
(00:43):
how it shapes our views on whatself-care should look like and
sometimes makes us feel likewe're not doing enough.
It's about taking care ofourselves without feeling guilty
or falling into excess.
So let's break it all down andsee where we can all improve our
approach to self-care.
Grab your tea or matcha or, ifyou're like me, an iced coffee,
and let's get into it.
(01:04):
Let's start with the weekly.
What if?
Here's the question what ifyour only self-care options were
things you loved doing as a kid?
Would it still work?
Kid self-activities arebasically self-care in disguise.
Think about it Drawing, runningaround outside or just playing
(01:25):
with no agenda those thingsstill recharge you, even if we
call them something fancier.
Now, when I look back at mychildhood, self-care wasn't
really something I planned oreven thought about.
It was just a natural part ofwho I was.
I always had my nose in a book.
At the time.
Some of my favorites wereBabysitter's Club, sweet Valley
(01:45):
High, nancy Drew and Goosebumps.
A trip to the library was anexciting venture Reading for
hours, getting lost in storiesand worlds far away.
It was a way to unplug andretreat into a world of
imagination and relaxation.
If I wasn't doing that then Iwas probably drawing or
sketching Now.
(02:05):
Could those sane childhoodactivities serve as self-care
today?
I definitely think so.
Do you remember a few yearsback, when adult coloring books
were so popular?
I cannot begin to tell you howmany of those I have lying
around waiting for me.
We're constantly being pulledin so many different directions.
Now Life feels a little morecomplicated.
We have more responsibilities,more distractions, and self-care
(02:30):
can sometimes feel like anotherthing to check off a list.
I can certainly relate to thatCleaning, laundry, groceries
insert self-care moment here,homework with the kids, meal
prep, rinse and repeat.
It feels grounding to get backto the simpler things that once
brought us peace, and maybethat's the kind of self-care we
(02:51):
really need, something thatbrings us back to ourselves.
I'm realizing that thosechildhood activities weren't
just pastimes.
They were actually powerfulforms of self-care in their own
right.
So what about you?
What would your kid selfself-care look like?
I would love to hear from you.
So please share your thoughtson social at
brothersisterwhatever.
(03:16):
All right, so let's kick thingsoff by defining self-care and
self-indulgence.
We hear these terms tossedaround a lot, but do we really
know what they mean and how dothey affect our self-esteem?
I'm going to break it down.
Self-care is all aboutactivities that promote your
long-term well-being, thingsthat support mental, emotional
(03:39):
and physical health.
So think drinking water,healthy meals, exercise, taking
time for yourself and settingboundaries.
When you prioritize realself-care, you reinforce that
you're worthy of care andattention.
This builds self-respect andconfidence.
It helps you feel capable andin control, which strengthens
(04:00):
self-worth, and it leads tobetter physical and mental
health, which directly impactshow you see yourself.
Feeling strong and energizedmakes it easier to have a
positive self-image.
When we talk about self-care,the first thing most people
picture, including myself, iscandles, bubble baths and face
(04:20):
masks, and while, yes, thosethings are self-care, that's not
all that it is.
In fact, it's actually a smallpart of what self-care really is
, and for men it might lookdifferent too.
It could be hitting the gym,having quiet time to recharge,
or spending time on a hobby thatmakes them feel like themselves
(04:41):
again.
But then there's the other side.
Self-indulgence is abouttemporary pleasure, things like
binge watching Netflix for hours, mindlessly scrolling through
social media or overindulging incomfort food.
Overindulgence often feels goodin the moment, but can leave
you feeling worse afterwards.
(05:01):
It can lead to procrastination,avoidance of real self-care,
making you feel stuck orunmotivated, and when it becomes
a way to escape stress ratherthan deal with it well, that can
make you feel like you lackdiscipline or control, which, in
turn, can hurt confidence overtime.
So please note that I want tore-clarify that there is a
(05:21):
difference betweenself-indulgence and
over-indulgence.
Balance is key.
I don't think there's a wronganswer here, but I do think it's
important to ask yourself isthis thing actually helping me
feel better long-term, or is itjust a quick fix?
And what can we do instead toreally take care of ourselves?
(05:42):
How can we find balance, beingintentional.
When self-care is done well, itreinforces that you're valuable
and deserving of true care,which helps self-esteem, and
when occasional and mindfulself-indulgence can be enjoyable
without harming your self-worth.
It's about knowing when totreat yourself and when to
(06:04):
challenge yourself.
You can only run on empty forso long before you crash, and
when you do, that's when youstart getting short-tempered,
losing motivation or feelinglike you're stuck in a rut.
That's when indulgence takesover, because instead of real
rest, you're looking for quickfixes.
You scroll, you drink, youovereat, you disconnect, and
(06:25):
then what you still feelexhausted, and now you're also
frustrated with yourself.
That's the cycle that keepspeople stuck.
As I was researching thisepisode, I was going through you
know all the lists of self-careoptions.
I admit it, I was a bit takenaback that boundaries are
considered a part of self-care,but the more that I think about
it, the more it makes sense.
(06:46):
Setting boundaries is actuallyone of the most important ways
that I could take care of myself.
It's not just about relaxingactivities.
It's about protecting my time,energy, emotions.
For example, saying no when I'mstretched too thin or stepping
back from toxic situations helpsprevent burnout and emotional
(07:06):
exhaustion.
By setting boundaries, I'm ableto prioritize my own needs,
which creates space for thethings that truly nurture me.
It's not always comfortable,but it's necessary.
I need to respect my own limits, because when I do, I'm able to
show up better for others aswell.
In the end, it ensures that I'mnot giving too much of myself
(07:29):
away and leaving myself emptyAgain.
It's all about finding thatbalance and taking care of my
own well-being, and this isdefinitely something I've
struggled with a lot.
I am also still sometimesconfusing self-indulgence with
self-care.
For a long time, I equatedself-care with buying myself
things, you know, those smalltreats, anything that gave me
(07:52):
like a moment of joy.
It felt like I was taking careof myself, something just for me
.
Over the last couple of years,I've realized that some of the
things that make me feel bestare not necessarily the most fun
to do in the moment.
The things I know I should bedoing for myself, like eating
healthier, exercising, alwaysfeels like obligatory tasks
(08:13):
rather than acts of self-care.
I have to purposely andcontinuously remind myself that
the end result is worth it.
I'm seeing these things assomething nurturing, not just
for my body, but for my spirittoo.
When my body is healthy, mymind is clearer, less cluttered,
so to speak, I can put my bestself forward.
That doesn't mean I have it allfigured out.
(08:35):
Nope, I'm still new enough tothis real self-care that it is
not a routine yet and it's stillvery fragile habit to break.
I fail more than I succeed, butyou can't change what you don't
know.
Let's talk about the wholeself-care trend that's on social
media.
Don't get me wrong.
Taking care of yourself isimportant, but I feel like
(08:57):
there's a trap here, the wayit's presented online.
Self-care has become thiscurated, polished version of
what it should look like.
You know those face masks, thebubble bath, the really
expensive wellness products.
Everyone's posting theseperfect, serene moments and sure
it's nice to look at, but let'sbe honest who's the time or the
(09:20):
money?
And what happens when thosethings don't feel like enough?
Or, worse, when you feelpressure to do all of that, just
to be doing self-care right?
Like, are you even doing itright if your self-care doesn't
look like a spa day?
I have a love-hate relationshipwith social media.
I thought that by giving myselfthe gift of time to be by
(09:42):
myself and scroll on socialmedia or binge watch the newest
show, that I was filling my cupWhile treating myself felt good
in the moment, it wasn't trulynurturing me the way that I
needed.
I realized that my cup wasnever actually getting filled.
I was still feeling empty anddepleted and tired, always tired
.
And then there's just feelingshitty about all the perfect
(10:03):
people living perfect lives inthe perfect outfits that just
felt so out of reach for me Icouldn't compare or relate.
The thing is, social media oftengives us this idea that
self-care needs to be a wholeproduction.
You need to have the fancycandles, you need the skincare
routine and you need the perfectcozy corner to curl up in.
(10:24):
We've been conditioned tobelieve that it has to be a
specific, almost luxuryexperience, but I'm catching on.
We're chasing these ideas,sometimes at the expense of what
we actually need.
Self-care is not a competitionor a performance.
In the end, I went on a socialmedia break.
I allowed myself to regroup,rethink what was important to me
(10:48):
, and while I eventually didreturn to some platforms, I made
sure that I was exposing myselfto the accounts or pages that
were lifting me up.
What if your self-care lookslike sitting in silence for 10
minutes or reading a book thatyou've been meaning to finish?
Or maybe it's just taking awalk without your phone.
(11:10):
It's personal.
Sometimes the best self-care issimply finding what works for
you, so let's stop falling intothe trap of feeling like we need
to keep up with everyone else'sversions of self-care.
You do you and that's enough.
Today I have a special guestjoining me, my friend and sister
in law, jennifer.
(11:31):
I couldn't think of a betterperson to chat with, and Jen has
a really great perspective onwhat it means for her.
So let's dive in.
One of the first questions thatI would like to ask you is how
do you personally define thedifference between self-care and
(11:52):
self-indulgence?
Speaker 2 (11:53):
So a few months ago I definitely blurred the line
between self-indulgence andself-care.
I started trying to be morehealthy by going to the gym five
to six times a week, but itbecame an obsession.
Going to the gym five to sixtimes a week, but it became an
obsession.
I thought if I changed my bodyI would, I would fix myself, and
(12:14):
it wasn't enough.
I would have also said gettingmy nails done was my self-care,
which nothing was.
It was very surface level.
My definition of self-care hasnow evolved to something much
more deep and intentional.
Speaker 1 (12:31):
In what ways?
Speaker 2 (12:33):
It's about mindfulness, knowing what I'm
feeling and what I need in anygiven moment throughout the day.
So whether that's a nap becauseI'm exhausted I had a bad
night's sleep, or meditation ora good cry, a huge part now is
meditation because it saved mylife.
(12:53):
I meditate sometimes 10 times aday.
A big part of my self care nowis boundaries.
I had to learn how to setboundaries because I didn't have
any.
So setting boundaries with myfamily and cutting out toxic
people from my life because I'mmuch more careful and selective
(13:17):
about what I expose my mind tonow and, honestly, reading is a
feels much better than justmindlessly scrolling social
media.
Speaker 1 (13:29):
And what about self-indulgence?
Speaker 2 (13:32):
On the other hand, self-indulgence used to be a way
that I would cope with mystress and I would avoid my
reality.
It was instant gratification,but it didn't fill up my cup.
So I would spend hoursscrolling through TikTok or
Instagram.
After the kids went to bed Iwould watch Netflix shows,
(13:59):
overly indulged spending onAmazon or Uber Eats or
restaurants, getting expensiveStarbucks drinks.
Nothing really filled me up.
It didn't help me grow.
It didn't recharge me.
It was again very surface level.
Now I recognize that self-careis more about long-term wellness
, self-love, and not aboutshort-term pleasure.
Speaker 1 (14:20):
Do you think that social media has changed the way
we see self-care?
Speaker 2 (14:24):
So social media.
I went on there as a way tokind of escape and I found
people like my people that werein situations like me moms that
were venting about their kids,or wives venting about their
husbands.
I felt like, oh, I'm not alone,this is how we are.
(14:46):
It ended up robbing me of truehealing because I was just
absorbing more negativity and Iwould use that as my me time
instead of feeding myself withpositivity.
It was an escape and it broughtme down instead of bringing me
(15:07):
up.
Speaker 1 (15:07):
All right.
So what is your go-to self-care?
Speaker 2 (15:11):
So, without a doubt, right now it's meditation.
I know I just talked about itso much.
My family thinks I'm this hippydippy now, but it has
completely transformed mymindset and I was in a constant
state of fight or flight, onedge.
I was irritable, I was snappywith my family, but meditation
(15:37):
has shifted my baseline.
So, on an emotional scale ofzero being calm to a hundred,
being enraged, I idled at a 75daily, and now I wake up because
of meditation at a zero, and soI'm able to catch those
(15:59):
emotions bubbling up and calmmyself so that my emotions don't
control me.
In the beginning, I'll admit itfelt very cheesy.
It didn't feel like it was forme.
It didn't feel right.
Then a full year went by.
I tried it again and I pushedthrough and with trial and error
(16:19):
, I found my coaches andpractices that I loved and I go
back to them time and time againand I'm finding new people that
I really like now.
Honestly, meditation has healedmore of me than weekly
individual therapy did in oneyear.
That's amazing.
Speaker 1 (16:39):
Yeah.
So do you think this is nowyour thing?
No, it's going to be somethingthat you keep going back to.
Speaker 2 (16:44):
Yeah, no, this is something that will be with me
forever.
Speaker 1 (16:59):
All right, that's all I've got for today.
I hope this episode gave yousomething to think about.
Just remember, self-caredoesn't have to be fancy or
expensive.
It's about what makes you feellike you again.
So, whether it is a face maskor hiding in the bathroom for
five minutes of peace,exercising or eating healthy, go
for it.
In the meantime, hit me up onInsta, let me know what your kid
self self-care ideas are and,if you like this episode, share
(17:21):
it with a friend or, better yet,with someone who needs a
reminder to take care ofthemselves.
Thanks for listening and I'llsee you next time.
Bye.
Hey everyone, welcome back to another episode of
Brother Sister.
Whatever I'm, lisa, Josh is offsomewhere.
Fun doing something great, soI'm flying solo this week.
Today we're going to dive intoa topic that's pretty much
always on my mind the fine linebetween self-care and
self-indulgence.
We often hear about self-careas a way to recharge and nurture
(00:23):
ourselves, but where do we drawthe line and does that line
look different depending on whoyou are?
I want to explore how self-carepractices vary between the
genders, how they can sometimestip into self-indulgence, and
how we can all find a balancethat works for us.
And let's not forget how socialmedia plays into all of this,
(00:43):
how it shapes our views on whatself-care should look like and
sometimes makes us feel likewe're not doing enough.
It's about taking care ofourselves without feeling guilty
or falling into excess.
So let's break it all down andsee where we can all improve our
approach to self-care.
Grab your tea or matcha or, ifyou're like me, an iced coffee,
and let's get into it.
(01:04):
Let's start with the weekly.
What if?
Here's the question what ifyour only self-care options were
things you loved doing as a kid?
Would it still work?
Kid self-activities arebasically self-care in disguise.
Think about it Drawing, runningaround outside or just playing
(01:25):
with no agenda those thingsstill recharge you, even if we
call them something fancier.
Now, when I look back at mychildhood, self-care wasn't
really something I planned oreven thought about.
It was just a natural part ofwho I was.
I always had my nose in a book.
At the time.
Some of my favorites wereBabysitter's Club, sweet Valley
(01:45):
High, nancy Drew and Goosebumps.
A trip to the library was anexciting venture Reading for
hours, getting lost in storiesand worlds far away.
It was a way to unplug andretreat into a world of
imagination and relaxation.
If I wasn't doing that then Iwas probably drawing or
sketching Now.
(02:05):
Could those sane childhoodactivities serve as self-care
today?
I definitely think so.
Do you remember a few yearsback, when adult coloring books
were so popular?
I cannot begin to tell you howmany of those I have lying
around waiting for me.
We're constantly being pulledin so many different directions.
Now Life feels a little morecomplicated.
We have more responsibilities,more distractions, and self-care
(02:30):
can sometimes feel like anotherthing to check off a list.
I can certainly relate to thatCleaning, laundry, groceries
insert self-care moment here,homework with the kids, meal
prep, rinse and repeat.
It feels grounding to get backto the simpler things that once
brought us peace, and maybethat's the kind of self-care we
(02:51):
really need, something thatbrings us back to ourselves.
I'm realizing that thosechildhood activities weren't
just pastimes.
They were actually powerfulforms of self-care in their own
right.
So what about you?
What would your kid selfself-care look like?
I would love to hear from you.
So please share your thoughtson social at
brothersisterwhatever.
(03:16):
All right, so let's kick thingsoff by defining self-care and
self-indulgence.
We hear these terms tossedaround a lot, but do we really
know what they mean and how dothey affect our self-esteem?
I'm going to break it down.
Self-care is all aboutactivities that promote your
long-term well-being, thingsthat support mental, emotional
(03:39):
and physical health.
So think drinking water,healthy meals, exercise, taking
time for yourself and settingboundaries.
When you prioritize realself-care, you reinforce that
you're worthy of care andattention.
This builds self-respect andconfidence.
It helps you feel capable andin control, which strengthens
(04:00):
self-worth, and it leads tobetter physical and mental
health, which directly impactshow you see yourself.
Feeling strong and energizedmakes it easier to have a
positive self-image.
When we talk about self-care,the first thing most people
picture, including myself, iscandles, bubble baths and face
(04:20):
masks, and while, yes, thosethings are self-care, that's not
all that it is.
In fact, it's actually a smallpart of what self-care really is
, and for men it might lookdifferent too.
It could be hitting the gym,having quiet time to recharge,
or spending time on a hobby thatmakes them feel like themselves
(04:41):
again.
But then there's the other side.
Self-indulgence is abouttemporary pleasure, things like
binge watching Netflix for hours, mindlessly scrolling through
social media or overindulging incomfort food.
Overindulgence often feels goodin the moment, but can leave
you feeling worse afterwards.
(05:01):
It can lead to procrastination,avoidance of real self-care,
making you feel stuck orunmotivated, and when it becomes
a way to escape stress ratherthan deal with it well, that can
make you feel like you lackdiscipline or control, which, in
turn, can hurt confidence overtime.
So please note that I want tore-clarify that there is a
(05:21):
difference betweenself-indulgence and
over-indulgence.
Balance is key.
I don't think there's a wronganswer here, but I do think it's
important to ask yourself isthis thing actually helping me
feel better long-term, or is itjust a quick fix?
And what can we do instead toreally take care of ourselves?
(05:42):
How can we find balance, beingintentional.
When self-care is done well, itreinforces that you're valuable
and deserving of true care,which helps self-esteem, and
when occasional and mindfulself-indulgence can be enjoyable
without harming your self-worth.
It's about knowing when totreat yourself and when to
(06:04):
challenge yourself.
You can only run on empty forso long before you crash, and
when you do, that's when youstart getting short-tempered,
losing motivation or feelinglike you're stuck in a rut.
That's when indulgence takesover, because instead of real
rest, you're looking for quickfixes.
You scroll, you drink, youovereat, you disconnect, and
(06:25):
then what you still feelexhausted, and now you're also
frustrated with yourself.
That's the cycle that keepspeople stuck.
As I was researching thisepisode, I was going through you
know all the lists of self-careoptions.
I admit it, I was a bit takenaback that boundaries are
considered a part of self-care,but the more that I think about
it, the more it makes sense.
(06:46):
Setting boundaries is actuallyone of the most important ways
that I could take care of myself.
It's not just about relaxingactivities.
It's about protecting my time,energy, emotions.
For example, saying no when I'mstretched too thin or stepping
back from toxic situations helpsprevent burnout and emotional
(07:06):
exhaustion.
By setting boundaries, I'm ableto prioritize my own needs,
which creates space for thethings that truly nurture me.
It's not always comfortable,but it's necessary.
I need to respect my own limits, because when I do, I'm able to
show up better for others aswell.
In the end, it ensures that I'mnot giving too much of myself
(07:29):
away and leaving myself emptyAgain.
It's all about finding thatbalance and taking care of my
own well-being, and this isdefinitely something I've
struggled with a lot.
I am also still sometimesconfusing self-indulgence with
self-care.
For a long time, I equatedself-care with buying myself
things, you know, those smalltreats, anything that gave me
(07:52):
like a moment of joy.
It felt like I was taking careof myself, something just for me
.
Over the last couple of years,I've realized that some of the
things that make me feel bestare not necessarily the most fun
to do in the moment.
The things I know I should bedoing for myself, like eating
healthier, exercising, alwaysfeels like obligatory tasks
(08:13):
rather than acts of self-care.
I have to purposely andcontinuously remind myself that
the end result is worth it.
I'm seeing these things assomething nurturing, not just
for my body, but for my spirittoo.
When my body is healthy, mymind is clearer, less cluttered,
so to speak, I can put my bestself forward.
That doesn't mean I have it allfigured out.
(08:35):
Nope, I'm still new enough tothis real self-care that it is
not a routine yet and it's stillvery fragile habit to break.
I fail more than I succeed, butyou can't change what you don't
know.
Let's talk about the wholeself-care trend that's on social
media.
Don't get me wrong.
Taking care of yourself isimportant, but I feel like
(08:57):
there's a trap here, the wayit's presented online.
Self-care has become thiscurated, polished version of
what it should look like.
You know those face masks, thebubble bath, the really
expensive wellness products.
Everyone's posting theseperfect, serene moments and sure
it's nice to look at, but let'sbe honest who's the time or the
(09:20):
money?
And what happens when thosethings don't feel like enough?
Or, worse, when you feelpressure to do all of that, just
to be doing self-care right?
Like, are you even doing itright if your self-care doesn't
look like a spa day?
I have a love-hate relationshipwith social media.
I thought that by giving myselfthe gift of time to be by
(09:42):
myself and scroll on socialmedia or binge watch the newest
show, that I was filling my cupWhile treating myself felt good
in the moment, it wasn't trulynurturing me the way that I
needed.
I realized that my cup wasnever actually getting filled.
I was still feeling empty anddepleted and tired, always tired
.
And then there's just feelingshitty about all the perfect
(10:03):
people living perfect lives inthe perfect outfits that just
felt so out of reach for me Icouldn't compare or relate.
The thing is, social media oftengives us this idea that
self-care needs to be a wholeproduction.
You need to have the fancycandles, you need the skincare
routine and you need the perfectcozy corner to curl up in.
(10:24):
We've been conditioned tobelieve that it has to be a
specific, almost luxuryexperience, but I'm catching on.
We're chasing these ideas,sometimes at the expense of what
we actually need.
Self-care is not a competitionor a performance.
In the end, I went on a socialmedia break.
I allowed myself to regroup,rethink what was important to me
(10:48):
, and while I eventually didreturn to some platforms, I made
sure that I was exposing myselfto the accounts or pages that
were lifting me up.
What if your self-care lookslike sitting in silence for 10
minutes or reading a book thatyou've been meaning to finish?
Or maybe it's just taking awalk without your phone.
(11:10):
It's personal.
Sometimes the best self-care issimply finding what works for
you, so let's stop falling intothe trap of feeling like we need
to keep up with everyone else'sversions of self-care.
You do you and that's enough.
Today I have a special guestjoining me, my friend and sister
in law, jennifer.
(11:31):
I couldn't think of a betterperson to chat with, and Jen has
a really great perspective onwhat it means for her.
So let's dive in.
One of the first questions thatI would like to ask you is how
do you personally define thedifference between self-care and
(11:52):
self-indulgence?
Speaker 2 (11:53):
So a few months ago I definitely blurred the line
between self-indulgence andself-care.
I started trying to be morehealthy by going to the gym five
to six times a week, but itbecame an obsession.
Going to the gym five to sixtimes a week, but it became an
obsession.
I thought if I changed my bodyI would, I would fix myself, and
(12:14):
it wasn't enough.
I would have also said gettingmy nails done was my self-care,
which nothing was.
It was very surface level.
My definition of self-care hasnow evolved to something much
more deep and intentional.
Speaker 1 (12:31):
In what ways?
Speaker 2 (12:33):
It's about mindfulness, knowing what I'm
feeling and what I need in anygiven moment throughout the day.
So whether that's a nap becauseI'm exhausted I had a bad
night's sleep, or meditation ora good cry, a huge part now is
meditation because it saved mylife.
(12:53):
I meditate sometimes 10 times aday.
A big part of my self care nowis boundaries.
I had to learn how to setboundaries because I didn't have
any.
So setting boundaries with myfamily and cutting out toxic
people from my life because I'mmuch more careful and selective
(13:17):
about what I expose my mind tonow and, honestly, reading is a
feels much better than justmindlessly scrolling social
media.
Speaker 1 (13:29):
And what about self-indulgence?
Speaker 2 (13:32):
On the other hand, self-indulgence used to be a way
that I would cope with mystress and I would avoid my
reality.
It was instant gratification,but it didn't fill up my cup.
So I would spend hoursscrolling through TikTok or
Instagram.
After the kids went to bed Iwould watch Netflix shows,
(13:59):
overly indulged spending onAmazon or Uber Eats or
restaurants, getting expensiveStarbucks drinks.
Nothing really filled me up.
It didn't help me grow.
It didn't recharge me.
It was again very surface level.
Now I recognize that self-careis more about long-term wellness
, self-love, and not aboutshort-term pleasure.
Speaker 1 (14:20):
Do you think that social media has changed the way
we see self-care?
Speaker 2 (14:24):
So social media.
I went on there as a way tokind of escape and I found
people like my people that werein situations like me moms that
were venting about their kids,or wives venting about their
husbands.
I felt like, oh, I'm not alone,this is how we are.
(14:46):
It ended up robbing me of truehealing because I was just
absorbing more negativity and Iwould use that as my me time
instead of feeding myself withpositivity.
It was an escape and it broughtme down instead of bringing me
(15:07):
up.
Speaker 1 (15:07):
All right.
So what is your go-to self-care?
Speaker 2 (15:11):
So, without a doubt, right now it's meditation.
I know I just talked about itso much.
My family thinks I'm this hippydippy now, but it has
completely transformed mymindset and I was in a constant
state of fight or flight, onedge.
I was irritable, I was snappywith my family, but meditation
(15:37):
has shifted my baseline.
So, on an emotional scale ofzero being calm to a hundred,
being enraged, I idled at a 75daily, and now I wake up because
of meditation at a zero, and soI'm able to catch those
(15:59):
emotions bubbling up and calmmyself so that my emotions don't
control me.
In the beginning, I'll admit itfelt very cheesy.
It didn't feel like it was forme.
It didn't feel right.
Then a full year went by.
I tried it again and I pushedthrough and with trial and error
(16:19):
, I found my coaches andpractices that I loved and I go
back to them time and time againand I'm finding new people that
I really like now.
Honestly, meditation has healedmore of me than weekly
individual therapy did in oneyear.
That's amazing.
Speaker 1 (16:39):
Yeah.
So do you think this is nowyour thing?
No, it's going to be somethingthat you keep going back to.
Speaker 2 (16:44):
Yeah, no, this is something that will be with me
forever.
Speaker 1 (16:59):
All right, that's all I've got for today.
I hope this episode gave yousomething to think about.
Just remember, self-caredoesn't have to be fancy or
expensive.
It's about what makes you feellike you again.
So, whether it is a face maskor hiding in the bathroom for
five minutes of peace,exercising or eating healthy, go
for it.
In the meantime, hit me up onInsta, let me know what your kid
self self-care ideas are and,if you like this episode, share
(17:21):
it with a friend or, better yet,with someone who needs a
reminder to take care ofthemselves.
Thanks for listening and I'llsee you next time.
Bye.
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