July 24, 2025 • 24 mins
What’s the lie you tell yourself the most? “I don’t care what people think”? “I’ll do it later”? “I’m fine”?
In this reflective rewatch of our most-downloaded episode ever, Lisa and Josh revisit The Lies We Tell Ourselves—and things hit a little harder the second time around. From quiet self-deceptions to white lies we tell our kids, this episode explores how our relationship with truth shifts over time.
👇 Chapters:
0:42 – Welcome to Brother, Sister, Whatever
1:25 – Weekly "What If": Lies as Bubbles
3:56 – Common Lies We Tell Ourselves
6:45 – "I Don't Care What Others Think"
10:52 – Time as the New Success Metric
13:32 – White Lies in Parenting
17:26 – "I Am Enough" Affirmations
21:40 – Liar Liar This-or-That Showdown
✨ Inside this episode:
- The real cost of "I'll do it later"
- Why “I don’t care what people think” is rarely true
- When it’s okay to lie to your kids—and when it’s not
- How affirmations start to feel real only after the hard work
- A final showdown of the social lies we all tell (yes, “I didn’t see your text” made the list)
Thanks for hanging out with us on Brother Sister Whatever, your no-BS guide through the messy middle!
If this episode made you laugh, cringe, or question your entire existence as a GenX/Xennial — please hit subscribe and leave a review. It genuinely helps more unhinged humans find their people.
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Bring your feelings. We’ll bring ours.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:14):
Hi everyone, welcome back to Brother, sister,
whatever where real talk meetszero chill.
I'm Lisa.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
I'm Josh.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
Today we're doing a really special episode.
We are actually going tore-watch one of our most watched
episodes on the lies that wetell ourselves.
Are you ready?
Speaker 2 (00:38):
I'm ready.
By the way, just saying I'm nota grandpa.
So if you're reading my cupright now, I just want you to
know I'm not that old yet.
This is just a cup I happen tohave grabbed.
Speaker 1 (00:53):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (00:54):
So we're going to start with the weekly.
What if Sounds good?
What if every lie you ever told, big or small, suddenly
appeared in a pop-up bubble overyour head anytime someone
looked at you?
Speaker 1 (01:12):
That'd be kind of embarrassing actually.
Speaker 2 (01:14):
Well, you're telling me.
Speaker 1 (01:17):
It'd be kind of embarrassing Not as embarrassing
as if any thought, like anyrandom thought, that you had
came up as a bubble above yourhead.
That would be the ultimate, ohyeah.
But lies.
I could see how that couldmaybe be embarrassing.
It'd be like you'd be caught inthe act.
You know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (01:37):
Well, I think if everyone had that, then there'd
be a lot less lying.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
Well, that's true.
I was just going to say Iwouldn't do it as much, that's
for sure.
Speaker 2 (01:47):
I think I would be in big trouble, but mainly for,
like sugarcoating.
You know, like where Isugarcoat something I'm like,
yeah, yeah, it looks fine, youknow, or something like that.
So I think, you know, I thinkI'd be.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
I think I'd be more the most trouble I would get in.
Speaker 2 (02:11):
I think would be the kids.
At least one of them doesn'tknow how to read yet.
So you know, like Jet, he, um,he would, he last year he would
go to school with the Luffystraw hat on every day, oh and,
and you know, know, it was thecutest thing ever, right?
But I mean you know it's astraw hat, right?
I mean I don't know, right, butlike everyone loves them at
(02:31):
that school, like it's like thekids, because you know every
parent, right, I mean at least Ido I'm thinking like, oh, my
god, are they?
If I know, if, back in the day,if I wore that to school, oh I,
I would be dead meat, like deadmeat Bullying yeah, you know.
I don't think that's, and it'snot even to say that Jet doesn't
look good in it or anythinglike that.
(02:52):
You know, it's just.
You know, you know how it isright yeah.
So but yeah, I mean that wouldbe a sucky pop-up in that
scenario where he's like Dad, Ilook good.
Speaker 1 (03:06):
I'm like, yeah, but in the back of my mind.
Speaker 2 (03:07):
I'm like, oh my gosh, take this off please.
I don't want you to get bullied.
That's a good weekly.
What if it?
Speaker 1 (03:17):
is it is.
I randomly picked out sometimestamps from our original
episode to kind of go over anddiscuss.
Speaker 2 (03:26):
Oh boy, okay, okay.
Speaker 1 (03:28):
So what are some of the lies that we tell ourselves?
Common things that people lieto themselves about.
I'll be happy when how many?
Times have you said that toyourself?
Speaker 2 (03:39):
right.
Speaker 1 (03:40):
I have time to do that later.
Speaker 2 (03:42):
Classic.
Speaker 1 (03:44):
I'm fine.
Speaker 2 (03:45):
Oh, yeah, right, yeah I can change later, I'm fine.
Speaker 1 (03:47):
Oh, yeah, right, I can change them.
I'm not good enough.
I don't care what people think,it's too late for me.
That was something we weretalking about last episode.
Speaker 2 (03:59):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:59):
I'm over it, I don't need help, I can do it by myself
.
Money doesn't matter, I'm notlike other people, All of these
things.
So it's interesting hearing,hearing all of those, all of
those lies that we tellourselves.
You know.
Again, it's interesting.
I'm wondering which one of themlike which are you most likely
(04:23):
to still say out loud?
Speaker 2 (04:27):
Well, you go first.
Speaker 1 (04:30):
Oh, can I?
Okay, yeah, I still like, Istill think, you know like I
have time for that later.
You always you know, like theputting things aside and like I
can do that later, and it's noteven so much the daily tasks,
josh.
I don't think that was.
I don't think I mean that somuch like oh, I'll do the dishes
(04:52):
later, kind of thing.
It's more of the of like thethings that make you.
You putting those things aside,you know what I mean.
Like oh like I don't have, likeyou know what I mean like, oh,
like I don't have, like you know, like being becoming a
workaholic and and not givingyourself time to relax and and
you know just that kind of, thatkind of a, a vibe that lie.
(05:15):
I think, yeah, I'll have timeto go and take that class when
the kids are older.
And then the kids get older andthey still don't take the fun
class.
You know.
Speaker 2 (05:26):
Yeah, that kind of thing yeah.
Speaker 1 (05:28):
So yeah, I think that's one that still sticks
with me.
A bit Haunts me maybe.
Speaker 2 (05:34):
That's a tough question.
Yeah, I think one that isalways kind of you know, is just
like the self-confidence, likemantras or whatever.
You know, like, uh, um, Ibelieve in myself, or you know
those types of things.
(05:55):
I think, um, I think you knowthere's this like yin and yang,
where where you have momentswhere you're like I can do this,
and in your head you're like Ifucking can't do this, or you
know, like you kind of have tolike almost overhaul your brain,
right, Okay, so the nexttimestamp?
Speaker 1 (06:17):
Do we care, josh?
Do we care?
Let's see.
Speaker 2 (06:21):
Where we'll be.
Like you know, we don't careabout this, you know, and we
technically do, but because it'sour kid, we don't.
You know, Fallon will wearsomething and I'll be like
Fallon, like come on, we're notgoing to wear that to school,
but in the same, you know, I'msaying you know, you be you, you
(06:45):
be unique, you, you bedifferent.
Who cares what other peoplethink?
But at the same time, like youcan't wear that.
I'm not comfortable going outwith unicorn pants or whatever,
even though I say it doesn'tmatter what other people think
self-preservation you know, Idon't know how many times I
don't give a shit what theyfucking think.
Speaker 1 (07:04):
But really you do To a degree.
Speaker 2 (07:08):
Yeah, you know to a degree.
Yeah, because that's why you'reso mad.
You're so mad because you givea shit.
Speaker 1 (07:17):
Yeah, you mentioned.
We say that we don't care, butreally deep down we do.
Speaker 2 (07:21):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 1 (07:23):
Have you managed to evade that?
Speaker 2 (07:25):
I have.
Speaker 1 (07:26):
You have From our talk.
Speaker 2 (07:30):
Okay, yeah, I find I am actively working on some of
those things, Really For sureSubconsciously, as we're having
the talks like there's littlebits right that just kind of
stay with you.
Speaker 1 (07:45):
Stay with you Exactly .
I feel the same way, josh.
Speaker 2 (07:48):
Yeah, sometimes, yeah and uh, and then you know, like
at some point I'm kind of likesaying like blah, blah, blah,
like I don't give a shit, youknow and and and, like I'm, I'm
peaceful about it, like, wow, Ireally don't care you know, like
, like I I've I've managed tothis time you know kind of beat
(08:12):
that down so to speak.
I think, you know, as we'rehealing, like we've said many
times in the podcast, like we'reboth healing, we're both, you
know, doing work, inner childwork, all this crap, right, yeah
, all this crap right, yeah, Ithink it's.
(08:34):
I think it's bringing outthings that our younger selves
like wouldn't even fathom.
Yeah, you know, we're just sointelligent now.
Speaker 1 (08:37):
Yeah, we're just so wise.
Speaker 2 (08:40):
We're so wise now Well what are you, the monk?
Speaker 1 (08:44):
What is it the Tao disciple?
Speaker 2 (08:46):
Yeah, the Tao disciple, the Tao disciple.
What about you, lisa?
Do you have anything to sayabout this?
Do you still give a shit?
Speaker 1 (08:59):
I think, yes, I do.
I think I have not reached themecca of not giving a shit.
Speaker 2 (09:08):
So like your kid has like sauce on their face and
someone sees their face and theydo the ugh.
Speaker 1 (09:14):
No, that kind of stuff doesn't bother me as much
anymore.
I don't sweat that kind ofstuff.
I don't sweat that kind ofstuff, but when it's like other
scenarios, I do tend to takethings very, very personally,
(09:35):
unfortunately.
So I'm still.
That's definitely something I'mworking on, though.
All right, let's check out thenext timestamp, josh.
Speaker 2 (09:43):
All right, I was maybe through my relationships,
programmed a little bit toreally care about certain things
, you know, especially likematerialistic and like looking a
certain way.
And you know, and I'vedefinitely gotten, you know,
(10:05):
quite a few pieces of humble pieas well that I had to be dished
.
But I feel like I've kind ofgrown to the point where now,
like I truly can confidently saylike I really don't give a shit
, you know, like I don't care ifI have a Porsche or if I have a
fucking Corolla, you know whatI mean Like.
(10:28):
So that for me has definitelyshifted in in me hitting my like
getting into my forties now.
But you know, it's not, it'snot about just I have to have
these things.
Speaker 1 (10:41):
You know these things have to be like the look of it
yeah.
Yeah, you know, now it's moreinside and more like yeah, it
makes you feel yeah, you knowyeah, oh yeah, oh, I get it, I
get it.
Let's look at some of thereasons why we actually tell
ourselves these things.
Would it be like a fear offailure that may be in your eyes
(11:07):
if you weren't eating the greatsteak at gibby's or driving the
good car that it looked likeyou weren't?
successful yeah for sure no, butyou know what we were just like
?
We were just talking about thatjosh, with age you and and more
(11:27):
experience, right, you kind oflike tend to give less fucks,
right?
Speaker 2 (11:35):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (11:36):
Do you think?
Like what?
If there's any externalvalidation that you chase, what
is it?
Do you have anything?
I'm sure there's at least onething you do.
You just you in the in theoriginal episode in the
timestamp we just watched, youmentioned you know that you
(11:58):
didn't care about the kind ofthings that you cared about
before.
You know the kind of car thatyou drive.
I believe we didn't see it inthis clip, but I believe in that
episode we were talking alsotalking about, like you know,
the, the food, the restaurantsand stuff.
Speaker 2 (12:11):
Right, oh, I love the restaurants right, Gibby's and
all of that.
Speaker 1 (12:14):
So, and that made you feel successful having those
things, I guess, in a way Rightand so now you don't.
But is there something thatstill resonates or that still
kind of lingers?
Speaker 2 (12:29):
Yeah, I mean, and it's a positive thing.
Speaker 1 (12:32):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (12:32):
Like.
I think the external validationthat I look for now is that I
define success with time.
Speaker 1 (12:40):
So the more time.
I have with the kids you know,the more time I have with the
kids.
Speaker 2 (12:44):
You know, the more time I have with the kids, and
especially nowadays, the moretime I have for myself.
I find that the more I feelsuccessful all right, next time
stamp have you ever been in asituation where you had even
just a simple argument with yourbetter half?
And it's a little too personaland obviously the kid says
(13:08):
what's wrong and you make awhite lie.
I mean, we're not going totrauma, dump our kids right?
Speaker 1 (13:15):
No, no, I just tell them it's none of your business.
Speaker 2 (13:19):
Oh, do you really?
Yeah, oh, wow, that's good sothat's between me and Daddy.
We're good though, Don't worrythere's a, there's a boundary
right there.
Speaker 1 (13:27):
That's a good boundary, my gosh well, I just
think I I come from a placewhere I'm not.
You don't need to knoweverything about everything.
Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 2 (13:38):
I guess it's just because me I don't.
Yeah, it's weird.
I I guess I just look at itdifferently like they are my
business and and and I'm theirbusiness.
I, I don't know, I would feellike that's a white lie.
In a weird way, I would feellike me saying none of your
business is the white lie.
Really, yeah, I don't know whyI think like that.
Speaker 1 (14:01):
So what did you think about my little none of your
business tactic, and have youactually started using it?
No, no.
Well, what did you think aboutmy little none of your business
tactic, and have you actuallystarted using it?
Speaker 2 (14:12):
No.
Speaker 1 (14:13):
No, do you still feel the same way?
Speaker 2 (14:15):
I guess theoretically , without realizing it, I do use
it.
It's just, I don't say none ofyour business, I say like
nothing, it's nothing kind ofthing.
Now that I think about it,right, um, I'm just, I'm, I'm
just deciphering why again in mybrain, because, you know,
(14:36):
sometimes the thoughts aredifferent, right, when we hear
it.
Again, I'm just trying todecipher why I think it's a
white family, it's, it'sdifferent than if it's in the
context of someone outside.
Um, I love the, the value ofthem understanding, like, dude,
(15:01):
this is none of your business,but I don't know.
I I also feel like I don't wantthem to think that they can't
like ask, I guess.
Speaker 1 (15:15):
Oh, but there's a difference between asking and
like.
They can ask anything, they canemote anything, right, they're
allowed that.
But you're also allowed to sayit's none of your business and
again, how you do it is how youdo it, I actually really don't
care.
I mean me saying, I guess atthe end of the day, we're
(15:36):
probably saying the same thingonce again.
Like me saying it's nothing.
Speaker 2 (15:40):
is me saying?
It's none of your business?
Yeah, just it's.
I guess my version of saying ityeah, so to speak.
Yeah, you know yeah, so tospeak, yeah, you know yeah.
Speaker 1 (15:52):
So to piggyback off of kids and parenting?
Do you think honesty shouldalways win in parenting, or do
you think there's a time to lie?
Speaker 2 (16:04):
I mean, look, I think there's a time to lie.
Sure, you know, I think most ofit.
I'm just that's just how I'mbuilt.
You know, I think you are too,but like it's just how I'm built
.
You know, like I can't, I can'tdo these extravagant lies.
You know, even just me buyingsomeone for, even though it's
(16:25):
not necessarily the same thing,but like me, buying something
for someone and trying to keepit a surprise is impossible, you
know, I mean don't get me wrong, I'm great at poker and and if
I need to be like in thatdynamic, no problem, I'll lie my
teeth off.
But in, in the sense of thepeople I care about, I think, uh
(16:48):
, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:49):
In the sense of the people.
Speaker 2 (16:50):
I care about?
I think yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:54):
Yeah, I think honesty wins.
One last time stamp Josh.
Speaker 2 (16:57):
All right.
Speaker 1 (16:58):
All right, you ready.
Speaker 2 (16:59):
I'm ready.
You know, you see these fucking, you know therapists on their
little Instagram reels andthey're like you are enough.
Speaker 1 (17:08):
I love those.
Speaker 2 (17:09):
But you know, and they're like, you are enough.
Speaker 1 (17:11):
I love those.
But you know, and it's like,yeah, it's like my drug of
choice, say more.
Speaker 2 (17:16):
You know, and don't get me wrong, like I get it,
they're just trying to help andthey're just trying to say, like
you know, but like I almostlike eye roll.
But why do I eye roll?
And you know, I think it'ssomething that we all go through
, that we have to kind of fightwith, and I think only now, at
(17:37):
40 years old, where I'm finallykind of coming like out of that,
these are the times that wewant to work on ourselves, like
we want to look at the problemswe have, you know, versus when
we're 30 or even 20, you know,we're like we don't have fucking
problems, you know.
What are you talking about?
I'm perfect, you know.
Speaker 1 (17:59):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (17:59):
So I think that that plays.
Speaker 1 (18:01):
Or the problems that we do have are not about us.
They're always about otherpeople.
Exactly Lies.
I am enough looking in themirror and actually like
believing it.
You know it's cringy.
I'm still kind of like.
I'm still.
It's so funny because I'm stillat that like little stage where
I'm like I could go either way.
(18:21):
I could like fall in love withaffirmations or like start
laughing at myself for doingthem.
Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 2 (18:28):
mean.
Speaker 1 (18:30):
Yeah, but I can see how it would be cringy yeah.
Speaker 2 (18:33):
See, it's crazy, though you know, because do you
say that to yourself?
Speaker 1 (18:42):
That phrase specifically.
I am enough every once in awhile.
For me, it's more of that.
I am deserving of rest.
I am deserving of that kind ofthing you know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (18:55):
It's more that I feel like I started saying I am
enough when I started reallybelieving I was versus trying to
trick myself into thinking.
Speaker 1 (19:10):
Really.
Speaker 2 (19:11):
Yeah.
So I feel like when I startedjust taking care of myself
mentally through the books,through you know therapy, all of
that, I feel like only then Iwas saying it, but I was never
really told to say it.
It just started to happen.
It was like a byproduct ofbecoming who we are Interesting.
(19:33):
You know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (19:34):
So it was almost like a subconscious.
I am enough.
Yeah, to lead you to the actualliteral.
I am enough.
Speaker 2 (19:40):
Yeah, like it just happened because of the healing.
Speaker 1 (19:44):
But in order for you to heal, one has to think.
There's like something to heal.
Speaker 2 (19:50):
No, but like it just happened, like I wasn't focused
on me being enough.
At least subconsciously, Iwasn't focused on me being
enough.
I was focused on, you know,doing things a certain way or
taking time for me, or whatever,but not saying I'm taking time
(20:13):
for me because I'm enough.
You know it, you know it.
For me it it was different.
It was more all the other stuffhad to happen.
And then it, just now, um, Ihave to admit it, just now, um,
(20:36):
I have to admit I feel likealmost aura a bit when I, when I
, when I'm out and about, youknow, like an aura of like I am
enough, you know, uh.
Speaker 1 (20:41):
So how did it make you feel like to to watch those
back?
Speaker 2 (20:45):
it's been a few months it was really cool it was
interesting to it was, it wasnot a lot has changed.
Speaker 1 (20:52):
I don't think in the way that we think or feel
certainly not me anyway.
I pretty much feel like, yeah,pretty much feel the same way
yeah, me too.
Me too, I feel the same waypretty much yeah, um, okay, josh
, how about if we move on to thethis or that showdown?
Speaker 2 (21:12):
let's do it okay so you start liar liar edition a
liar liar edition oh boy, okay,um, I love working under
pressure versus chaos is how Ithrive.
Speaker 1 (21:28):
I love working under pressure.
Speaker 2 (21:31):
Do you?
Speaker 1 (21:32):
Yeah, okay, I actually find my best results
come out under pressure.
Speaker 2 (21:39):
I never would have guessed.
Speaker 1 (21:40):
So, Josh, would you say I'm fine or no worries at
all?
Speaker 2 (21:45):
No worries at all, that one's easy.
Okay, this isn't about youversus, it's totally not
personal this isn't about you.
Speaker 1 (21:59):
Um, I've I read the terms and conditions or I'll
circle back on that I'll circleback on that who says I'll read
the term.
I read the terms.
Speaker 2 (22:09):
I've never read the terms and conditions of anything
in my life.
Probably not a good thing.
But yeah yeah, you know what,though?
If, when I meet people, theyhad a terms and conditions, I
would probably read it.
Speaker 1 (22:24):
That's what I mean, right, yeah?
Speaker 2 (22:26):
I wish they had that, but you know that doesn't
happen.
I wish I had that, but you knowthat doesn't happen.
I wish I had a warranty too,but anyways, this isn't a no
sorry.
Let's definitely hang out soon.
Let's totally grab a coffeesometime.
Speaker 1 (22:42):
Let's definitely hang out soon.
Okay, yeah, yeah, for sure.
Okay, one more each, okay.
Speaker 2 (22:49):
Yep.
Speaker 1 (22:50):
I didn't see your text versus.
I must have deleted it byaccident.
Speaker 2 (22:55):
I didn't see your text.
I've moved on versus.
I don't even think about themanymore.
Speaker 1 (23:04):
I don't, I don't okay .
So, speaking from experience,just with that last one, I don't
think moving on like you canstop thinking about somebody,
(23:25):
but the second they're back inyour face or somebody brings up
their name, all all of thoselike emotions come back, so
which means you haven't moved on.
So I'm definitely I don't eventhink about them anymore.
One day I'll get to the I'vemoved on.
Speaker 2 (23:43):
Well, that's all she wrote, Yep.
Speaker 1 (23:46):
Literally right.
Speaker 2 (23:47):
That's all you wrote.
That's all I wrote.
Why don't you go to our socials?
We love hearing from youBrother, sister, whatever
Instagram, we've got YouTube,facebook.
We want to hear your commentsand, of course, we love your fan
mail.
Speaker 1 (24:05):
Yes, so please keep it coming.
Speaker 2 (24:07):
Yeah, and with that being said, thank you so much.
I'm Josh and.
Speaker 1 (24:12):
I'm Lisa.
Hi everyone, welcome back to Brother, sister,
whatever where real talk meetszero chill.
I'm Lisa.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
I'm Josh.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
Today we're doing a really special episode.
We are actually going tore-watch one of our most watched
episodes on the lies that wetell ourselves.
Are you ready?
Speaker 2 (00:38):
I'm ready.
By the way, just saying I'm nota grandpa.
So if you're reading my cupright now, I just want you to
know I'm not that old yet.
This is just a cup I happen tohave grabbed.
Speaker 1 (00:53):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (00:54):
So we're going to start with the weekly.
What if Sounds good?
What if every lie you ever told, big or small, suddenly
appeared in a pop-up bubble overyour head anytime someone
looked at you?
Speaker 1 (01:12):
That'd be kind of embarrassing actually.
Speaker 2 (01:14):
Well, you're telling me.
Speaker 1 (01:17):
It'd be kind of embarrassing Not as embarrassing
as if any thought, like anyrandom thought, that you had
came up as a bubble above yourhead.
That would be the ultimate, ohyeah.
But lies.
I could see how that couldmaybe be embarrassing.
It'd be like you'd be caught inthe act.
You know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (01:37):
Well, I think if everyone had that, then there'd
be a lot less lying.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
Well, that's true.
I was just going to say Iwouldn't do it as much, that's
for sure.
Speaker 2 (01:47):
I think I would be in big trouble, but mainly for,
like sugarcoating.
You know, like where Isugarcoat something I'm like,
yeah, yeah, it looks fine, youknow, or something like that.
So I think, you know, I thinkI'd be.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
I think I'd be more the most trouble I would get in.
Speaker 2 (02:11):
I think would be the kids.
At least one of them doesn'tknow how to read yet.
So you know, like Jet, he, um,he would, he last year he would
go to school with the Luffystraw hat on every day, oh and,
and you know, know, it was thecutest thing ever, right?
But I mean you know it's astraw hat, right?
I mean I don't know, right, butlike everyone loves them at
(02:31):
that school, like it's like thekids, because you know every
parent, right, I mean at least Ido I'm thinking like, oh, my
god, are they?
If I know, if, back in the day,if I wore that to school, oh I,
I would be dead meat, like deadmeat Bullying yeah, you know.
I don't think that's, and it'snot even to say that Jet doesn't
look good in it or anythinglike that.
(02:52):
You know, it's just.
You know, you know how it isright yeah.
So but yeah, I mean that wouldbe a sucky pop-up in that
scenario where he's like Dad, Ilook good.
Speaker 1 (03:06):
I'm like, yeah, but in the back of my mind.
Speaker 2 (03:07):
I'm like, oh my gosh, take this off please.
I don't want you to get bullied.
That's a good weekly.
What if it?
Speaker 1 (03:17):
is it is.
I randomly picked out sometimestamps from our original
episode to kind of go over anddiscuss.
Speaker 2 (03:26):
Oh boy, okay, okay.
Speaker 1 (03:28):
So what are some of the lies that we tell ourselves?
Common things that people lieto themselves about.
I'll be happy when how many?
Times have you said that toyourself?
Speaker 2 (03:39):
right.
Speaker 1 (03:40):
I have time to do that later.
Speaker 2 (03:42):
Classic.
Speaker 1 (03:44):
I'm fine.
Speaker 2 (03:45):
Oh, yeah, right, yeah I can change later, I'm fine.
Speaker 1 (03:47):
Oh, yeah, right, I can change them.
I'm not good enough.
I don't care what people think,it's too late for me.
That was something we weretalking about last episode.
Speaker 2 (03:59):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:59):
I'm over it, I don't need help, I can do it by myself
.
Money doesn't matter, I'm notlike other people, All of these
things.
So it's interesting hearing,hearing all of those, all of
those lies that we tellourselves.
You know.
Again, it's interesting.
I'm wondering which one of themlike which are you most likely
(04:23):
to still say out loud?
Speaker 2 (04:27):
Well, you go first.
Speaker 1 (04:30):
Oh, can I?
Okay, yeah, I still like, Istill think, you know like I
have time for that later.
You always you know, like theputting things aside and like I
can do that later, and it's noteven so much the daily tasks,
josh.
I don't think that was.
I don't think I mean that somuch like oh, I'll do the dishes
(04:52):
later, kind of thing.
It's more of the of like thethings that make you.
You putting those things aside,you know what I mean.
Like oh like I don't have, likeyou know what I mean like, oh,
like I don't have, like you know, like being becoming a
workaholic and and not givingyourself time to relax and and
you know just that kind of, thatkind of a, a vibe that lie.
(05:15):
I think, yeah, I'll have timeto go and take that class when
the kids are older.
And then the kids get older andthey still don't take the fun
class.
You know.
Speaker 2 (05:26):
Yeah, that kind of thing yeah.
Speaker 1 (05:28):
So yeah, I think that's one that still sticks
with me.
A bit Haunts me maybe.
Speaker 2 (05:34):
That's a tough question.
Yeah, I think one that isalways kind of you know, is just
like the self-confidence, likemantras or whatever.
You know, like, uh, um, Ibelieve in myself, or you know
those types of things.
(05:55):
I think, um, I think you knowthere's this like yin and yang,
where where you have momentswhere you're like I can do this,
and in your head you're like Ifucking can't do this, or you
know, like you kind of have tolike almost overhaul your brain,
right, Okay, so the nexttimestamp?
Speaker 1 (06:17):
Do we care, josh?
Do we care?
Let's see.
Speaker 2 (06:21):
Where we'll be.
Like you know, we don't careabout this, you know, and we
technically do, but because it'sour kid, we don't.
You know, Fallon will wearsomething and I'll be like
Fallon, like come on, we're notgoing to wear that to school,
but in the same, you know, I'msaying you know, you be you, you
(06:45):
be unique, you, you bedifferent.
Who cares what other peoplethink?
But at the same time, like youcan't wear that.
I'm not comfortable going outwith unicorn pants or whatever,
even though I say it doesn'tmatter what other people think
self-preservation you know, Idon't know how many times I
don't give a shit what theyfucking think.
Speaker 1 (07:04):
But really you do To a degree.
Speaker 2 (07:08):
Yeah, you know to a degree.
Yeah, because that's why you'reso mad.
You're so mad because you givea shit.
Speaker 1 (07:17):
Yeah, you mentioned.
We say that we don't care, butreally deep down we do.
Speaker 2 (07:21):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 1 (07:23):
Have you managed to evade that?
Speaker 2 (07:25):
I have.
Speaker 1 (07:26):
You have From our talk.
Speaker 2 (07:30):
Okay, yeah, I find I am actively working on some of
those things, Really For sureSubconsciously, as we're having
the talks like there's littlebits right that just kind of
stay with you.
Speaker 1 (07:45):
Stay with you Exactly .
I feel the same way, josh.
Speaker 2 (07:48):
Yeah, sometimes, yeah and uh, and then you know, like
at some point I'm kind of likesaying like blah, blah, blah,
like I don't give a shit, youknow and and and, like I'm, I'm
peaceful about it, like, wow, Ireally don't care you know, like
, like I I've I've managed tothis time you know kind of beat
(08:12):
that down so to speak.
I think, you know, as we'rehealing, like we've said many
times in the podcast, like we'reboth healing, we're both, you
know, doing work, inner childwork, all this crap, right, yeah
, all this crap right, yeah, Ithink it's.
(08:34):
I think it's bringing outthings that our younger selves
like wouldn't even fathom.
Yeah, you know, we're just sointelligent now.
Speaker 1 (08:37):
Yeah, we're just so wise.
Speaker 2 (08:40):
We're so wise now Well what are you, the monk?
Speaker 1 (08:44):
What is it the Tao disciple?
Speaker 2 (08:46):
Yeah, the Tao disciple, the Tao disciple.
What about you, lisa?
Do you have anything to sayabout this?
Do you still give a shit?
Speaker 1 (08:59):
I think, yes, I do.
I think I have not reached themecca of not giving a shit.
Speaker 2 (09:08):
So like your kid has like sauce on their face and
someone sees their face and theydo the ugh.
Speaker 1 (09:14):
No, that kind of stuff doesn't bother me as much
anymore.
I don't sweat that kind ofstuff.
I don't sweat that kind ofstuff, but when it's like other
scenarios, I do tend to takethings very, very personally,
(09:35):
unfortunately.
So I'm still.
That's definitely something I'mworking on, though.
All right, let's check out thenext timestamp, josh.
Speaker 2 (09:43):
All right, I was maybe through my relationships,
programmed a little bit toreally care about certain things
, you know, especially likematerialistic and like looking a
certain way.
And you know, and I'vedefinitely gotten, you know,
(10:05):
quite a few pieces of humble pieas well that I had to be dished
.
But I feel like I've kind ofgrown to the point where now,
like I truly can confidently saylike I really don't give a shit
, you know, like I don't care ifI have a Porsche or if I have a
fucking Corolla, you know whatI mean Like.
(10:28):
So that for me has definitelyshifted in in me hitting my like
getting into my forties now.
But you know, it's not, it'snot about just I have to have
these things.
Speaker 1 (10:41):
You know these things have to be like the look of it
yeah.
Yeah, you know, now it's moreinside and more like yeah, it
makes you feel yeah, you knowyeah, oh yeah, oh, I get it, I
get it.
Let's look at some of thereasons why we actually tell
ourselves these things.
Would it be like a fear offailure that may be in your eyes
(11:07):
if you weren't eating the greatsteak at gibby's or driving the
good car that it looked likeyou weren't?
successful yeah for sure no, butyou know what we were just like
?
We were just talking about thatjosh, with age you and and more
(11:27):
experience, right, you kind oflike tend to give less fucks,
right?
Speaker 2 (11:35):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (11:36):
Do you think?
Like what?
If there's any externalvalidation that you chase, what
is it?
Do you have anything?
I'm sure there's at least onething you do.
You just you in the in theoriginal episode in the
timestamp we just watched, youmentioned you know that you
(11:58):
didn't care about the kind ofthings that you cared about
before.
You know the kind of car thatyou drive.
I believe we didn't see it inthis clip, but I believe in that
episode we were talking alsotalking about, like you know,
the, the food, the restaurantsand stuff.
Speaker 2 (12:11):
Right, oh, I love the restaurants right, Gibby's and
all of that.
Speaker 1 (12:14):
So, and that made you feel successful having those
things, I guess, in a way Rightand so now you don't.
But is there something thatstill resonates or that still
kind of lingers?
Speaker 2 (12:29):
Yeah, I mean, and it's a positive thing.
Speaker 1 (12:32):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (12:32):
Like.
I think the external validationthat I look for now is that I
define success with time.
Speaker 1 (12:40):
So the more time.
I have with the kids you know,the more time I have with the
kids.
Speaker 2 (12:44):
You know, the more time I have with the kids, and
especially nowadays, the moretime I have for myself.
I find that the more I feelsuccessful all right, next time
stamp have you ever been in asituation where you had even
just a simple argument with yourbetter half?
And it's a little too personaland obviously the kid says
(13:08):
what's wrong and you make awhite lie.
I mean, we're not going totrauma, dump our kids right?
Speaker 1 (13:15):
No, no, I just tell them it's none of your business.
Speaker 2 (13:19):
Oh, do you really?
Yeah, oh, wow, that's good sothat's between me and Daddy.
We're good though, Don't worrythere's a, there's a boundary
right there.
Speaker 1 (13:27):
That's a good boundary, my gosh well, I just
think I I come from a placewhere I'm not.
You don't need to knoweverything about everything.
Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 2 (13:38):
I guess it's just because me I don't.
Yeah, it's weird.
I I guess I just look at itdifferently like they are my
business and and and I'm theirbusiness.
I, I don't know, I would feellike that's a white lie.
In a weird way, I would feellike me saying none of your
business is the white lie.
Really, yeah, I don't know whyI think like that.
Speaker 1 (14:01):
So what did you think about my little none of your
business tactic, and have youactually started using it?
No, no.
Well, what did you think aboutmy little none of your business
tactic, and have you actuallystarted using it?
Speaker 2 (14:12):
No.
Speaker 1 (14:13):
No, do you still feel the same way?
Speaker 2 (14:15):
I guess theoretically , without realizing it, I do use
it.
It's just, I don't say none ofyour business, I say like
nothing, it's nothing kind ofthing.
Now that I think about it,right, um, I'm just, I'm, I'm
just deciphering why again in mybrain, because, you know,
(14:36):
sometimes the thoughts aredifferent, right, when we hear
it.
Again, I'm just trying todecipher why I think it's a
white family, it's, it'sdifferent than if it's in the
context of someone outside.
Um, I love the, the value ofthem understanding, like, dude,
(15:01):
this is none of your business,but I don't know.
I I also feel like I don't wantthem to think that they can't
like ask, I guess.
Speaker 1 (15:15):
Oh, but there's a difference between asking and
like.
They can ask anything, they canemote anything, right, they're
allowed that.
But you're also allowed to sayit's none of your business and
again, how you do it is how youdo it, I actually really don't
care.
I mean me saying, I guess atthe end of the day, we're
(15:36):
probably saying the same thingonce again.
Like me saying it's nothing.
Speaker 2 (15:40):
is me saying?
It's none of your business?
Yeah, just it's.
I guess my version of saying ityeah, so to speak.
Yeah, you know yeah, so tospeak, yeah, you know yeah.
Speaker 1 (15:52):
So to piggyback off of kids and parenting?
Do you think honesty shouldalways win in parenting, or do
you think there's a time to lie?
Speaker 2 (16:04):
I mean, look, I think there's a time to lie.
Sure, you know, I think most ofit.
I'm just that's just how I'mbuilt.
You know, I think you are too,but like it's just how I'm built
.
You know, like I can't, I can'tdo these extravagant lies.
You know, even just me buyingsomeone for, even though it's
(16:25):
not necessarily the same thing,but like me, buying something
for someone and trying to keepit a surprise is impossible, you
know, I mean don't get me wrong, I'm great at poker and and if
I need to be like in thatdynamic, no problem, I'll lie my
teeth off.
But in, in the sense of thepeople I care about, I think, uh
(16:48):
, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:49):
In the sense of the people.
Speaker 2 (16:50):
I care about?
I think yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:54):
Yeah, I think honesty wins.
One last time stamp Josh.
Speaker 2 (16:57):
All right.
Speaker 1 (16:58):
All right, you ready.
Speaker 2 (16:59):
I'm ready.
You know, you see these fucking, you know therapists on their
little Instagram reels andthey're like you are enough.
Speaker 1 (17:08):
I love those.
Speaker 2 (17:09):
But you know, and they're like, you are enough.
Speaker 1 (17:11):
I love those.
But you know, and it's like,yeah, it's like my drug of
choice, say more.
Speaker 2 (17:16):
You know, and don't get me wrong, like I get it,
they're just trying to help andthey're just trying to say, like
you know, but like I almostlike eye roll.
But why do I eye roll?
And you know, I think it'ssomething that we all go through
, that we have to kind of fightwith, and I think only now, at
(17:37):
40 years old, where I'm finallykind of coming like out of that,
these are the times that wewant to work on ourselves, like
we want to look at the problemswe have, you know, versus when
we're 30 or even 20, you know,we're like we don't have fucking
problems, you know.
What are you talking about?
I'm perfect, you know.
Speaker 1 (17:59):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (17:59):
So I think that that plays.
Speaker 1 (18:01):
Or the problems that we do have are not about us.
They're always about otherpeople.
Exactly Lies.
I am enough looking in themirror and actually like
believing it.
You know it's cringy.
I'm still kind of like.
I'm still.
It's so funny because I'm stillat that like little stage where
I'm like I could go either way.
(18:21):
I could like fall in love withaffirmations or like start
laughing at myself for doingthem.
Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 2 (18:28):
mean.
Speaker 1 (18:30):
Yeah, but I can see how it would be cringy yeah.
Speaker 2 (18:33):
See, it's crazy, though you know, because do you
say that to yourself?
Speaker 1 (18:42):
That phrase specifically.
I am enough every once in awhile.
For me, it's more of that.
I am deserving of rest.
I am deserving of that kind ofthing you know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (18:55):
It's more that I feel like I started saying I am
enough when I started reallybelieving I was versus trying to
trick myself into thinking.
Speaker 1 (19:10):
Really.
Speaker 2 (19:11):
Yeah.
So I feel like when I startedjust taking care of myself
mentally through the books,through you know therapy, all of
that, I feel like only then Iwas saying it, but I was never
really told to say it.
It just started to happen.
It was like a byproduct ofbecoming who we are Interesting.
(19:33):
You know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (19:34):
So it was almost like a subconscious.
I am enough.
Yeah, to lead you to the actualliteral.
I am enough.
Speaker 2 (19:40):
Yeah, like it just happened because of the healing.
Speaker 1 (19:44):
But in order for you to heal, one has to think.
There's like something to heal.
Speaker 2 (19:50):
No, but like it just happened, like I wasn't focused
on me being enough.
At least subconsciously, Iwasn't focused on me being
enough.
I was focused on, you know,doing things a certain way or
taking time for me, or whatever,but not saying I'm taking time
(20:13):
for me because I'm enough.
You know it, you know it.
For me it it was different.
It was more all the other stuffhad to happen.
And then it, just now, um, Ihave to admit it, just now, um,
(20:36):
I have to admit I feel likealmost aura a bit when I, when I
, when I'm out and about, youknow, like an aura of like I am
enough, you know, uh.
Speaker 1 (20:41):
So how did it make you feel like to to watch those
back?
Speaker 2 (20:45):
it's been a few months it was really cool it was
interesting to it was, it wasnot a lot has changed.
Speaker 1 (20:52):
I don't think in the way that we think or feel
certainly not me anyway.
I pretty much feel like, yeah,pretty much feel the same way
yeah, me too.
Me too, I feel the same waypretty much yeah, um, okay, josh
, how about if we move on to thethis or that showdown?
Speaker 2 (21:12):
let's do it okay so you start liar liar edition a
liar liar edition oh boy, okay,um, I love working under
pressure versus chaos is how Ithrive.
Speaker 1 (21:28):
I love working under pressure.
Speaker 2 (21:31):
Do you?
Speaker 1 (21:32):
Yeah, okay, I actually find my best results
come out under pressure.
Speaker 2 (21:39):
I never would have guessed.
Speaker 1 (21:40):
So, Josh, would you say I'm fine or no worries at
all?
Speaker 2 (21:45):
No worries at all, that one's easy.
Okay, this isn't about youversus, it's totally not
personal this isn't about you.
Speaker 1 (21:59):
Um, I've I read the terms and conditions or I'll
circle back on that I'll circleback on that who says I'll read
the term.
I read the terms.
Speaker 2 (22:09):
I've never read the terms and conditions of anything
in my life.
Probably not a good thing.
But yeah yeah, you know what,though?
If, when I meet people, theyhad a terms and conditions, I
would probably read it.
Speaker 1 (22:24):
That's what I mean, right, yeah?
Speaker 2 (22:26):
I wish they had that, but you know that doesn't
happen.
I wish I had that, but you knowthat doesn't happen.
I wish I had a warranty too,but anyways, this isn't a no
sorry.
Let's definitely hang out soon.
Let's totally grab a coffeesometime.
Speaker 1 (22:42):
Let's definitely hang out soon.
Okay, yeah, yeah, for sure.
Okay, one more each, okay.
Speaker 2 (22:49):
Yep.
Speaker 1 (22:50):
I didn't see your text versus.
I must have deleted it byaccident.
Speaker 2 (22:55):
I didn't see your text.
I've moved on versus.
I don't even think about themanymore.
Speaker 1 (23:04):
I don't, I don't okay .
So, speaking from experience,just with that last one, I don't
think moving on like you canstop thinking about somebody,
(23:25):
but the second they're back inyour face or somebody brings up
their name, all all of thoselike emotions come back, so
which means you haven't moved on.
So I'm definitely I don't eventhink about them anymore.
One day I'll get to the I'vemoved on.
Speaker 2 (23:43):
Well, that's all she wrote, Yep.
Speaker 1 (23:46):
Literally right.
Speaker 2 (23:47):
That's all you wrote.
That's all I wrote.
Why don't you go to our socials?
We love hearing from youBrother, sister, whatever
Instagram, we've got YouTube,facebook.
We want to hear your commentsand, of course, we love your fan
mail.
Speaker 1 (24:05):
Yes, so please keep it coming.
Speaker 2 (24:07):
Yeah, and with that being said, thank you so much.
I'm Josh and.
Speaker 1 (24:12):
I'm Lisa.
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