May 1, 2025 • 26 mins
We explore the powerful concept of doing absolutely nothing—and why that might be the most revolutionary act of self-care in a world obsessed with hustle. From battling the guilt that creeps in when we rest to carving out sacred spaces for flop-mode living, this episode is all about embracing stillness.
Featuring:
• A “Would You Survive?” scenario: 8 hours in a silent room with only your thoughts
• Why rest feels wrong even when we’re running on empty
• How parenthood (especially motherhood) complicates the idea of doing nothing
• Creating sacred spaces in your home for relaxation and reset
• The mental gymnastics of justifying rest to ourselves
• How our relationship with rest changes as we grow
• A chaotic showdown of rest preferences: accidental naps vs. intentional ones, silence vs. background noise, and more
Thanks for hanging out with us on Brother Sister Whatever, your no-BS guide through the messy middle!
If this episode made you laugh, cringe, or question your entire existence as a GenX/Xennial — please hit subscribe and leave a review. It genuinely helps more unhinged humans find their people.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hi everyone.
Welcome back to Brother, sister, whatever where real talk meets
zero chill.
I'm Lisa.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
I'm Josh.
How's it going?
Speaker 1 (00:08):
So today we're talking about doing absolutely
nothing, and why that might bethe most powerful thing to do.
Hmm.
I know right, Crazy yeah.
In a world that we live in,doing absolutely nothing seems
kind of strange.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
Yeah, it does.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
Yeah, okay, but let's start with our weekly.
What if?
Speaker 2 (00:31):
Yes.
What if you had to sit in aroom with nothing but a chair
for eight hours?
No phone, no music, nodistractions, just you and your
thoughts?
Who cracks first?
What weird thoughts show up?
Speaker 1 (00:49):
That gives me like padded room vibes, you know,
like in one of those asylums.
You know, oh man, there'ssomething about that.
That kind of feels really likenice.
Yeah, Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 2 (01:04):
feels really like nice yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:06):
Do you know what I mean?
Like really, oh okay, likealmost like I could breathe a
sigh of relief and just like be,I think I don't.
I'll be honest, though Like Idon't know, like nothing, Like
not even like birds chirpingkind of shit, I don't know.
It seems a lot.
I don't know if I'd be able todo a whole eight hours.
Speaker 2 (01:27):
I mean, I guess technically it's kind of like a
jail cell, right?
Speaker 1 (01:30):
Well, that's what I'm saying.
Like it's giving, like.
Speaker 2 (01:32):
So you don't really have anything to do.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:38):
You know, and no phone, no music TVs, don't they?
Speaker 2 (01:40):
Or books.
Speaker 1 (01:41):
Something yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:42):
Right, so yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:50):
I think it would be nice to experience that once.
Speaker 2 (01:52):
Yeah, or it doesn't have to be in that context,
right, Like, in that sense Imean, it could be like what?
Like camping is technically notfar from that, right, yeah, I
mean, yeah, okay, you can dostuff, right, it's not.
Well, no, I'm not, we're noteven saying that you can't do
stuff, you just, you know,there's nothing.
Speaker 1 (02:12):
Well, that's like you can't, there's nothing to do,
yeah, but like you can stillmove around or like pace.
Oh yeah, you can exercise.
Right, I guess right, so yeah.
I don't know I do some jumpingjacks, Right, I guess.
Right, yeah, I don't know.
I think it would be nice toexperience once.
I don't think it would besomething that I would be able
to, first of all would be ableto do all the time but also if
(02:37):
it's something that I wouldreally need or want to do all
the time.
And for like a full eight hours.
Yeah, that's a lot.
Yeah without doom scrolling.
Without without doom scrolling,there's like nothing, right?
So I would, I would uh be okaywith one time to try it out,
just to see.
You know it'd be, it'd be funnyto to, to see what you would
(03:00):
come out of it with, like, whatrevelations about yourself, what
thoughts like, because you do,you have nothing else to do but
think it's true in somescenarios it might not be the
best thing.
Sometimes you might not want tothink be thinking too much you
know, you sparked something too.
Speaker 2 (03:16):
I remember there was, uh, I forget who said it,
though, but there, you know,there's a certain hour, right um
?
Like a witching hour no, butthere's a certain hour, right
Like a witching hour.
No, but there's a certain hourlike if you go past that all of
a sudden your mind like turnsinwards.
You know, like, like you, youstart just thinking about other
(03:36):
things, I guess.
But it's all like from within,it's like a meditation, you know
.
So it's like after like the13th hours or something like
that.
You know, all of a sudden, likeyou have like this
enlightenment in the sense oflike you know what you're
thinking about or not thinkingabout.
Yeah, kind of thing, yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:56):
Well, that's kind of cool.
That sounds like something I'dbe into.
Speaker 2 (03:59):
Maybe the eight hours could do us some good yeah
exactly, exactly Challenge.
Speaker 1 (04:05):
Challenge yeah, oh man, okay, so I think that's it
for the weekly.
Did you even answer no?
Speaker 2 (04:14):
I didn't.
Speaker 1 (04:14):
I think I hijacked that one, so go.
Speaker 2 (04:16):
No, I mean yeah, I would do it.
I think I would be okay with it.
Yeah.
Honestly, I do, I do, I think,I think I'm getting more into
that.
I mean, maybe not in a jailcell, but like I'm getting much
(04:36):
more into like, just like youknow, my own thoughts.
I have a little incenses nowand I light them, and you know
so.
Speaker 1 (04:45):
You kill me.
Yeah yeah, all right.
Okay, so that's it for theWeekly.
What If?
Here's a question for you, josh?
Oh boy okay, why does nothingfeel wrong, even when it's
exactly what we need?
Speaker 2 (05:03):
Why does nothing feel wrong?
Yeah, what do you mean?
Speaker 1 (05:07):
Perfect example.
I feel the need.
There's always something to doaround the house, right, but
does it need to get done thatminute?
Like, let's say, you're justyou're tired and you just want
to chill, but you've got, youknow, laundry, dishes and
whatever to do.
Does it have to be done thatvery second?
(05:27):
Why not just give yourself even10 minutes of nothing to just
recoup and regenerate as much asyou can with 10 minutes?
Why does it feel so wrong?
Why are we not allowingourselves to just do that, to
just do nothing?
Speaker 2 (05:49):
I think it's just how we're built.
Some people do do nothing.
You know there are lots ofpeople who do that I mean.
Speaker 1 (05:56):
So when you say just how we're built, you mean us.
Speaker 2 (05:59):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (06:00):
As opposed to a society.
Speaker 2 (06:02):
Yeah, yeah, I mean Okay, Well, yeah, because I
think I mean come on, I thinkeveryone knows.
Speaker 1 (06:09):
Well, certainly better at it than others, that's
for sure.
Yeah, right, yeah.
Speaker 2 (06:14):
So I think and you know we all have our moments,
Like I won't say that I nevertake those 10 minutes right,
like I do here and there, butyeah, for the most part it's
like it's not necessarily thenorm, maybe.
No, it's definitely not thenorm.
Speaker 1 (06:30):
Right.
Speaker 2 (06:32):
It's just how we're wired, I guess.
Yeah.
We need to make sure that it'sall done, because we know that
it's going to compound withinterest.
Speaker 1 (06:45):
That's good, yes, it's true.
Well, here's the thing that I'mlearning about myself lately,
going through this whole kindkind of exploring who I am again
yeah I've realized that I neverlet myself rest, and when I do,
(07:05):
it's with strings.
Do you know what I mean?
Like, when I do a lot when Ihave allowed myself to rest,
it's because I was so rockbottom Like I, literally my body
, couldn't physically moveanymore, kind of thing.
Do you know what I mean?
Like you can't give yourselfenough oomph to even move off a
sofa or get out of bed orwhatever, right?
(07:25):
Yeah, those moments Luckilythose moments don't come too
often right when, like, I'mstruggling to get out of bed
every day but that feeling thatI have of just like never
listening to my body, my needs,you know, and and giving myself
(07:45):
something I feel like I feellike it's it's really important
to Like, it's really importantto start to listen to what your
body and what your mind needs.
Yeah.
You may not be able to do it allthe time, but at least, like I
was actually ignoring thosesigns, that voice Do you know?
Speaker 2 (08:10):
what I mean.
I think it's a lot harder foryou for women, especially moms.
Do you know what I mean?
I think it's a lot harder foryou for women, especially moms,
you know, like women who havechildren, because I feel like
you know, not that I think it'sokay, but it's, you know.
(08:32):
It's as if when you become amom at least from what I've seen
you become a mom and it's likeyou don't matter anymore in your
own mind, like you don't matter.
So how you feel doesn't fuckingmatter, how you know what you
need what you need like itdoesn't matter.
So I think that women take thisultimate sacrifice when they
have kids and they're totallyjust at their mercy, so to speak
(08:58):
, and only later again, justspeaking from you know, only
later they're kind of like, no,you know, like I need to, I need
to think about me a little bit.
Right, like, you know thecliche airplane thing, right,
the fucking mask falls.
And you know the the clicheairplane thing, right, the
fucking mask falls.
And you know you do it first,and then you, you know, you help
(09:19):
the kids or whatever.
Speaker 1 (09:20):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:21):
Yeah, um, so you know , I think I think that that's a
little bit a part of, maybe, whyyou feel like that.
Speaker 1 (09:28):
Oh, maybe I will say hands down, absolutely, of
course.
There are times, you know, Idon't even think about eating
breakfast until I've gotten towork, because in the morning I'm
X.
Y Z getting them ready.
Let's just, you know, make surethey're good to go, and then I
(09:48):
think about what I need.
So, yeah, I totally understandthat.
I also do think that there area lot of moms out there that are
able to kind of maybe for lackof a better word
compartmentalize that a littlebit better and have things that
bring them joy and that refilltheir cup kind of thing and that
(10:14):
, like you know, refill theircup kind of thing.
So I think for myself, itreally is also a big part of my
personality right.
Yeah, but I'm really learning inthe last couple of months I've
been doing so much work to justreally stop, just stop and
listen to myself a little bitmore, that's awesome by no means
(10:36):
perfect addict but I've gottena lot better at saying, like you
know what I don't need to getdone right now, I'm good with
this, or I need to just lay inbed for an hour and look out the
window and not do anything.
You know, done that.
So, yeah, I think I thinkthere's like a lot to be said
for doing nothing you know, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I, I agree
(10:59):
totally yeah, but what about you?
in the sense of do you feel everfeel guilty, like when you do
choose to rest or do nothing?
Speaker 2 (11:09):
yeah, I definitely feel guilty yeah.
Speaker 1 (11:13):
Why, though, where does your guilt come from?
Speaker 2 (11:16):
I think my guilt comes from.
I feel like it's expected of meto never rest, so I always have
to be doing something, and ifI'm not, I'm lazy.
You know, or like, what are youdoing?
(11:38):
Why are you just sitting there?
Or like, how dare you go on thecomputer, you know, or like, so
, like, and I feel it Like.
I feel it Like, for example, ifI go on the computer and I
barely play games okay, just togive you like my thought process
, I barely play games and like Iget a text from like an old
(12:03):
friend, let's say.
He's like hey, like you know,remember when we played League
of Legends, blah, blah, blah.
Like why don't you know we jumpon?
We have like one.
I'm like okay, fine, I'll playone hour you know what one game.
And I get on and in that timeframe someone calls me or they
open the door, you know, and I'mthere and the game is on, and
it's like as if I you've beenthere for eight hours no, but as
(12:25):
if I, I, I, I did something,you know.
I look back and I'm like, oh,fuck you.
You know, I'm like yeah, andand, and it's like blah, blah,
blah, and I'm like okay, okay,you know, and I'm like, oh, so
what?
You know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (12:40):
That that, um, you're lazy, you're whatever, like you
were saying.
That's from you, that's yourvoice saying it to you, it's not
external forces.
Is that what you're saying?
Speaker 2 (12:51):
I think it's a little bit of both, because I think
it's me, yeah, and then theperception around you my, my
pickings.
You know where.
I need to have people who aregoing to feed that problem
instead of the opposite.
Speaker 1 (13:09):
Okay, right, yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:10):
So I chose people in my life who would be like why
are you being such a lazy ass?
You know what are you doing,sitting there for five minutes.
Speaker 1 (13:20):
So you picked motivators in your life to get
you to where you wanted to go.
Speaker 2 (13:25):
In ways.
Speaker 1 (13:25):
But the flip side of it is that when you do feel the
need to do nothing or rest,you're fucked.
It's like why aren't you doingsomething to progress you even
further, kind of thing.
Speaker 2 (13:36):
That's it.
So you know, all all the workI've been doing on myself for
the past year, I've beenlearning just that, which is, um
, that inner peace and and andto to honestly do nothing, and
how powerful it is to do nothing, and um, uh, it's, it's, you
know it's, it's, it's been lifechanging, but it's not easy.
Speaker 1 (14:00):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (14:01):
It's not easy.
Speaker 1 (14:02):
So I guess we could agree then that no matter man,
woman, children, no children,the external forces around us.
Speaker 2 (14:13):
Yeah, I mean, I think are a big.
Yeah, there's a, there's a baseand then everything like I don't
know how it was for you, butlike I was totally different
with my first born compared tomy second and, like you know, in
the, in the senses of I yeah,it's fine, we have a little bit
of time, you know versus yeah,it's fine, we have a little bit
(14:33):
of time.
Versus like the first was likewhat do you mean?
You know, like we have to getthis ready and just in case, and
oh my gosh.
So I feel like yes, but alsothere is experience in there
that you know, like look at afirst time mom oh, of course,
forget about mom First timecouple.
First time couple like withtheir first kid, and first time
(14:55):
couple, sorry, and a couple with, like you know, it's their
sixth kid, right, oh man.
Speaker 1 (15:00):
The dynamic is so different.
Speaker 2 (15:02):
Yeah, this one, like the kid, falls over.
They're like, yeah, whateveryou know.
And they're like, oh my gosh,oh, oh no, you know, it's like
Lion King, you know, like youknow, they're so freaking out,
like you know.
And the people with the sticks,you know, they're like yeah,
yeah, it's fine, it's a littlebit of dirt, kids got a hard
head.
Speaker 1 (15:19):
Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 2 (15:21):
Right.
Speaker 3 (15:24):
Yeah, a little bit of dirt never killed anybody, I
love it.
Speaker 2 (15:28):
Well, all right.
So how about this?
Okay, what object in your houseis sacred to your flop
lifestyle?
Couch a hoodie, I don't know.
Corner of the floor.
Speaker 1 (15:45):
Oh, my gosh A burrito blanket.
Okay, so it's like a twofer,but it's like in one.
I have my nook.
Okay, like the special area ofthe sofa.
That's the best right.
Speaker 2 (15:59):
And no one can take that spot when you're.
Speaker 1 (16:01):
Oh fuck, no, Trust me , the kids know They'll be like
oh, mom's in the nook, so thenook, and with that also goes my
nice big cozy blanket.
Speaker 2 (16:14):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (16:15):
That is like my spot.
I feel like, even with the TVon or whatever, like I, just I
feel like cozy and at peace inthat little spot.
I know I don't know why itsounds so silly, but it doesn't
sound silly at all, actually.
Yeah Sounds pretty normal.
That's, that's, that's mine.
What about you?
Speaker 2 (16:36):
Now, yeah, I would say now it's my office because
I've created like such apeaceful space in there.
Speaker 1 (16:46):
Now, you know, I have my little incense and I have
like all my little stuff and Igo in there and I just kind of
relax and I think or not thinkand I just kind of relax and I
think or not think so, do youever mentally like defend your
rest time, like your flop time,like explain it to yourself or
others, like do you ever feellike you have to mentally defend
(17:09):
that?
Speaker 2 (17:10):
In the past, yeah, but now not so much, not so much
.
It's a tough question actually.
No, yeah, no, not so muchanymore.
I think that no, to answer thequestion, yes, there's been many
times where I had to kind oflike mentally defend, like why I
(17:34):
want to take a break or sitdown or whatever.
Speaker 1 (17:36):
I'm allowed to sit and relax.
Speaker 2 (17:37):
Yeah, and you're almost trying to convince
whatever I'm allowed to sit andrelax, yeah, and you're almost
trying to convince yourself.
Almost yes, very much so it'slike almost like your brain is
kind of like what are you doing?
And you're like look, I deservethis.
And you're like having thisconversation.
Speaker 1 (17:50):
Yeah, chanting affirmations to yourself.
Speaker 2 (17:53):
Yeah, oh my gosh.
Speaker 1 (17:56):
Oh shit, yeah, I do too.
Like I said, I still.
I actually have gotten betterat it in the last few months.
I'm like, okay, you know what.
I don't actually need to defendthis, even to myself.
I'm allowed to.
Speaker 2 (18:15):
Well, without getting too personal, we've technically
both been working on ourselvesthese past little while, you
know, since we started thepodcast.
Speaker 1 (18:24):
Yeah Well, and before , and before in different ways,
but I mean yeah.
Speaker 2 (18:29):
But yeah, so it's good.
Speaker 1 (18:31):
I know it's really nice.
I finally feel like I'm livinglife as opposed to just in it.
Does that make sense?
Speaker 2 (18:43):
Yeah, it actually makes a lot of sense because
that's exactly how I feel.
I feel like even though itstill might not even be evident
to me I noticed that there'slike big changes, you know, and
and they're, they're creeping.
(19:03):
You know that the changes arecreeping just in the way I think
the way I feel who I choose totalk to now.
Yeah, All of it is different andit's weird, you know, because
it feels like a whole new life,right, like because all those
things mentally are changing.
So obviously the people youtalk to are entirely different
(19:24):
than what what they were beforeor what you thought of them
before.
Yeah, yeah so it's, it's prettycool yeah, it's really, it's
really nice so how about we getinto our this and that showdown?
Speaker 1 (19:36):
let's go, brother, you start all right.
Speaker 2 (19:40):
So intentional nap or accidental nap?
Speaker 1 (19:45):
oh both.
Both are nice, but intentional,I will.
I will pick intentional okay,yeah, yeah, yeah, that's good
yeah yeah, yeah, um pajamas allday or change into lounge
clothes lounge clothes yeah,more of a lounge clothes same um
although, although I havesundays, are my pajama all day
(20:07):
days I don't have pajamas okay,so like for me lounge is like
usually, I'll wear sweatpants,which I wear sweatpants quite
often.
Speaker 2 (20:19):
Yeah.
And like a hoodie.
Speaker 1 (20:22):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (20:22):
That's like my jam.
Speaker 1 (20:24):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (20:25):
You know Cold drink on the couch or warm drink in
bed.
Speaker 1 (20:33):
I'm not a fan of warm drinks.
I know that sounds silly.
You're like everybody isgasping on the other side fan of
warm drinks.
I know that sounds silly,you're like everybody is gasping
on the other side.
But like, unless it's likeChristmasy winter weather and
you're purposefully with thefamily having hot chocolate with
Milchmallows and it's like it'slike an event at our house,
(20:53):
like the hot chocolate thing,like the gourmet hot chocolate
balls that you dip in and haveto wait, you know all that shit.
So, and that's only like to mein my mind, very specific times.
I'm a huge ice coffee fan, sofor me it's more the ice drink
and couch bed outdoors, indoorsdoesn't really matter, so I'll
(21:15):
take cold drink on the sofa.
Speaker 2 (21:19):
That's what it was right.
Speaker 1 (21:21):
Cold drink on the sofa.
Speaker 2 (21:22):
Yep.
Speaker 1 (21:22):
Yeah, I will take that Long-winded explanation to
get to that answer.
But that's my answer.
Speaker 2 (21:28):
Nice.
What about you?
I don't care Okay.
I do both.
Snacks within reach or fullfasting flop.
What do you mean?
Full fasting flop?
Like don't eat anything.
Yeah, I'm, I'm, I'm justbecause of my mindset right now,
I'm going to go with thefasting flop.
(21:49):
Really.
Yeah, I don't eat snacks rightnow, so You're good, I've gotten
back into the snacks.
Speaker 1 (21:56):
I was better and now I'm worse.
Speaker 2 (21:57):
Yeah, no, I know I will when I finish my
competition.
That's true, yeah, yeah, I'mnot moving flop, or I'll slowly
migrate around the house, flop.
Speaker 1 (22:13):
Right now it's I'm not moving flop.
Okay, how about you?
Speaker 2 (22:18):
Yeah me too.
Probably flop.
Okay, how about you?
Yeah me too.
Speaker 1 (22:20):
probably yeah same.
How about this?
A morning rest or an eveningrest?
Speaker 2 (22:27):
I mean I go to bed at eight.
Speaker 1 (22:30):
But are you resting in the morning too?
Speaker 2 (22:33):
A little yeah here and there.
It depends.
You know like where I'm atclient-wise.
No, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (22:41):
I'm going to say evening rest, the wind down from
the day after the kids are inbed, and you're just like yeah,
yeah, I don't remember whatthose are like Because you go to
bed so early.
Yeah, you go to bed before theydo so.
For you, it would definitely bemorning rest, because you get
up before them, don't you?
Speaker 2 (23:02):
I'm up at around 3.30 .
Speaker 1 (23:03):
There you go, you're up way before them 3.30,.
Speaker 2 (23:06):
You know I slept in today though, because I went to
bed late, but normally yeah.
Yeah, all right, background TVyou've seen 1,000 times or
complete silence.
Speaker 1 (23:23):
Okay, so the background TV is the
naturescapes on YouTube.
You know where they go through.
Speaker 2 (23:29):
All those I'll take that over and over and over
again.
Speaker 1 (23:34):
No, it's Cocomelon Okay.
Speaker 2 (23:35):
So then silence.
Speaker 1 (23:37):
All right, One more.
Each Josh cancelled plans orghosting responsibilities.
Speaker 2 (23:46):
Ghosting responsibilities.
Yeah, oh, my gosh.
All right, let me think here.
Oh, overthink everything whiledoing nothing, or mentally peace
out oh, I've done both.
Speaker 1 (24:07):
I think mentally peace out okay yeah same.
Yeah, yeah, yeah all right,that was a fun one.
Speaker 2 (24:16):
That was a good one, that was great.
Speaker 1 (24:19):
Let's do a regret of the week before we peace out on
this episode.
Is there anything from thisweek that you wished you could
change or take back?
Speaker 2 (24:31):
I really try not to have regrets.
I know you mentioned that inthe regret episode.
Speaker 1 (24:50):
So, this one's going to be a little tough for me, but
I guess if I have to picksomething, I wish that I didn't.
You know, I regret eating thatextra slice of pizza on the
weekend.
Yeah, my regret is that Ididn't find it in me to start
gardening in the beautifulweather.
Speaker 2 (25:02):
Plenty of time for that, don't stress Plenty of
time when we had it.
But yeah, don't worry, we'regoing to get it.
Speaker 1 (25:07):
Yeah, we'll get there .
Doing nothing doesn't meanyou're wasting time.
It means you're lettingyourself breathe.
Speaker 2 (25:15):
Absolutely.
Speaker 1 (25:17):
Hands down.
Speaker 2 (25:17):
Hands down.
Speaker 1 (25:19):
And that's it for this episode.
So thanks for tuning in toBrother, Sister, Whatever, and
we'll see you next week.
Speaker 2 (25:24):
And remember please start following us.
Yes, I know Instagram, whatwe're on YouTube, facebook,
facebook, follow us.
Come on, we want to hear aboutyour situation, and so on.
Okay, all right, bye, bye.
Hi everyone.
Welcome back to Brother, sister, whatever where real talk meets
zero chill.
I'm Lisa.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
I'm Josh.
How's it going?
Speaker 1 (00:08):
So today we're talking about doing absolutely
nothing, and why that might bethe most powerful thing to do.
Hmm.
I know right, Crazy yeah.
In a world that we live in,doing absolutely nothing seems
kind of strange.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
Yeah, it does.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
Yeah, okay, but let's start with our weekly.
What if?
Speaker 2 (00:31):
Yes.
What if you had to sit in aroom with nothing but a chair
for eight hours?
No phone, no music, nodistractions, just you and your
thoughts?
Who cracks first?
What weird thoughts show up?
Speaker 1 (00:49):
That gives me like padded room vibes, you know,
like in one of those asylums.
You know, oh man, there'ssomething about that.
That kind of feels really likenice.
Yeah, Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 2 (01:04):
feels really like nice yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:06):
Do you know what I mean?
Like really, oh okay, likealmost like I could breathe a
sigh of relief and just like be,I think I don't.
I'll be honest, though Like Idon't know, like nothing, Like
not even like birds chirpingkind of shit, I don't know.
It seems a lot.
I don't know if I'd be able todo a whole eight hours.
Speaker 2 (01:27):
I mean, I guess technically it's kind of like a
jail cell, right?
Speaker 1 (01:30):
Well, that's what I'm saying.
Like it's giving, like.
Speaker 2 (01:32):
So you don't really have anything to do.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:38):
You know, and no phone, no music TVs, don't they?
Speaker 2 (01:40):
Or books.
Speaker 1 (01:41):
Something yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:42):
Right, so yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:50):
I think it would be nice to experience that once.
Speaker 2 (01:52):
Yeah, or it doesn't have to be in that context,
right, Like, in that sense Imean, it could be like what?
Like camping is technically notfar from that, right, yeah, I
mean, yeah, okay, you can dostuff, right, it's not.
Well, no, I'm not, we're noteven saying that you can't do
stuff, you just, you know,there's nothing.
Speaker 1 (02:12):
Well, that's like you can't, there's nothing to do,
yeah, but like you can stillmove around or like pace.
Oh yeah, you can exercise.
Right, I guess right, so yeah.
I don't know I do some jumpingjacks, Right, I guess.
Right, yeah, I don't know.
I think it would be nice toexperience once.
I don't think it would besomething that I would be able
to, first of all would be ableto do all the time but also if
(02:37):
it's something that I wouldreally need or want to do all
the time.
And for like a full eight hours.
Yeah, that's a lot.
Yeah without doom scrolling.
Without without doom scrolling,there's like nothing, right?
So I would, I would uh be okaywith one time to try it out,
just to see.
You know it'd be, it'd be funnyto to, to see what you would
(03:00):
come out of it with, like, whatrevelations about yourself, what
thoughts like, because you do,you have nothing else to do but
think it's true in somescenarios it might not be the
best thing.
Sometimes you might not want tothink be thinking too much you
know, you sparked something too.
Speaker 2 (03:16):
I remember there was, uh, I forget who said it,
though, but there, you know,there's a certain hour, right um
?
Like a witching hour no, butthere's a certain hour, right
Like a witching hour.
No, but there's a certain hourlike if you go past that all of
a sudden your mind like turnsinwards.
You know, like, like you, youstart just thinking about other
(03:36):
things, I guess.
But it's all like from within,it's like a meditation, you know
.
So it's like after like the13th hours or something like
that.
You know, all of a sudden, likeyou have like this
enlightenment in the sense oflike you know what you're
thinking about or not thinkingabout.
Yeah, kind of thing, yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:56):
Well, that's kind of cool.
That sounds like something I'dbe into.
Speaker 2 (03:59):
Maybe the eight hours could do us some good yeah
exactly, exactly Challenge.
Speaker 1 (04:05):
Challenge yeah, oh man, okay, so I think that's it
for the weekly.
Did you even answer no?
Speaker 2 (04:14):
I didn't.
Speaker 1 (04:14):
I think I hijacked that one, so go.
Speaker 2 (04:16):
No, I mean yeah, I would do it.
I think I would be okay with it.
Yeah.
Honestly, I do, I do, I think,I think I'm getting more into
that.
I mean, maybe not in a jailcell, but like I'm getting much
(04:36):
more into like, just like youknow, my own thoughts.
I have a little incenses nowand I light them, and you know
so.
Speaker 1 (04:45):
You kill me.
Yeah yeah, all right.
Okay, so that's it for theWeekly.
What If?
Here's a question for you, josh?
Oh boy okay, why does nothingfeel wrong, even when it's
exactly what we need?
Speaker 2 (05:03):
Why does nothing feel wrong?
Yeah, what do you mean?
Speaker 1 (05:07):
Perfect example.
I feel the need.
There's always something to doaround the house, right, but
does it need to get done thatminute?
Like, let's say, you're justyou're tired and you just want
to chill, but you've got, youknow, laundry, dishes and
whatever to do.
Does it have to be done thatvery second?
(05:27):
Why not just give yourself even10 minutes of nothing to just
recoup and regenerate as much asyou can with 10 minutes?
Why does it feel so wrong?
Why are we not allowingourselves to just do that, to
just do nothing?
Speaker 2 (05:49):
I think it's just how we're built.
Some people do do nothing.
You know there are lots ofpeople who do that I mean.
Speaker 1 (05:56):
So when you say just how we're built, you mean us.
Speaker 2 (05:59):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (06:00):
As opposed to a society.
Speaker 2 (06:02):
Yeah, yeah, I mean Okay, Well, yeah, because I
think I mean come on, I thinkeveryone knows.
Speaker 1 (06:09):
Well, certainly better at it than others, that's
for sure.
Yeah, right, yeah.
Speaker 2 (06:14):
So I think and you know we all have our moments,
Like I won't say that I nevertake those 10 minutes right,
like I do here and there, butyeah, for the most part it's
like it's not necessarily thenorm, maybe.
No, it's definitely not thenorm.
Speaker 1 (06:30):
Right.
Speaker 2 (06:32):
It's just how we're wired, I guess.
Yeah.
We need to make sure that it'sall done, because we know that
it's going to compound withinterest.
Speaker 1 (06:45):
That's good, yes, it's true.
Well, here's the thing that I'mlearning about myself lately,
going through this whole kindkind of exploring who I am again
yeah I've realized that I neverlet myself rest, and when I do,
(07:05):
it's with strings.
Do you know what I mean?
Like, when I do a lot when Ihave allowed myself to rest,
it's because I was so rockbottom Like I, literally my body
, couldn't physically moveanymore, kind of thing.
Do you know what I mean?
Like you can't give yourselfenough oomph to even move off a
sofa or get out of bed orwhatever, right?
(07:25):
Yeah, those moments Luckilythose moments don't come too
often right when, like, I'mstruggling to get out of bed
every day but that feeling thatI have of just like never
listening to my body, my needs,you know, and and giving myself
(07:45):
something I feel like I feellike it's it's really important
to Like, it's really importantto start to listen to what your
body and what your mind needs.
Yeah.
You may not be able to do it allthe time, but at least, like I
was actually ignoring thosesigns, that voice Do you know?
Speaker 2 (08:10):
what I mean.
I think it's a lot harder foryou for women, especially moms.
Do you know what I mean?
I think it's a lot harder foryou for women, especially moms,
you know, like women who havechildren, because I feel like
you know, not that I think it'sokay, but it's, you know.
(08:32):
It's as if when you become amom at least from what I've seen
you become a mom and it's likeyou don't matter anymore in your
own mind, like you don't matter.
So how you feel doesn't fuckingmatter, how you know what you
need what you need like itdoesn't matter.
So I think that women take thisultimate sacrifice when they
have kids and they're totallyjust at their mercy, so to speak
(08:58):
, and only later again, justspeaking from you know, only
later they're kind of like, no,you know, like I need to, I need
to think about me a little bit.
Right, like, you know thecliche airplane thing, right,
the fucking mask falls.
And you know the the clicheairplane thing, right, the
fucking mask falls.
And you know you do it first,and then you, you know, you help
(09:19):
the kids or whatever.
Speaker 1 (09:20):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:21):
Yeah, um, so you know , I think I think that that's a
little bit a part of, maybe, whyyou feel like that.
Speaker 1 (09:28):
Oh, maybe I will say hands down, absolutely, of
course.
There are times, you know, Idon't even think about eating
breakfast until I've gotten towork, because in the morning I'm
X.
Y Z getting them ready.
Let's just, you know, make surethey're good to go, and then I
(09:48):
think about what I need.
So, yeah, I totally understandthat.
I also do think that there area lot of moms out there that are
able to kind of maybe for lackof a better word
compartmentalize that a littlebit better and have things that
bring them joy and that refilltheir cup kind of thing and that
(10:14):
, like you know, refill theircup kind of thing.
So I think for myself, itreally is also a big part of my
personality right.
Yeah, but I'm really learning inthe last couple of months I've
been doing so much work to justreally stop, just stop and
listen to myself a little bitmore, that's awesome by no means
(10:36):
perfect addict but I've gottena lot better at saying, like you
know what I don't need to getdone right now, I'm good with
this, or I need to just lay inbed for an hour and look out the
window and not do anything.
You know, done that.
So, yeah, I think I thinkthere's like a lot to be said
for doing nothing you know, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I, I agree
(10:59):
totally yeah, but what about you?
in the sense of do you feel everfeel guilty, like when you do
choose to rest or do nothing?
Speaker 2 (11:09):
yeah, I definitely feel guilty yeah.
Speaker 1 (11:13):
Why, though, where does your guilt come from?
Speaker 2 (11:16):
I think my guilt comes from.
I feel like it's expected of meto never rest, so I always have
to be doing something, and ifI'm not, I'm lazy.
You know, or like, what are youdoing?
(11:38):
Why are you just sitting there?
Or like, how dare you go on thecomputer, you know, or like, so
, like, and I feel it Like.
I feel it Like, for example, ifI go on the computer and I
barely play games okay, just togive you like my thought process
, I barely play games and like Iget a text from like an old
(12:03):
friend, let's say.
He's like hey, like you know,remember when we played League
of Legends, blah, blah, blah.
Like why don't you know we jumpon?
We have like one.
I'm like okay, fine, I'll playone hour you know what one game.
And I get on and in that timeframe someone calls me or they
open the door, you know, and I'mthere and the game is on, and
it's like as if I you've beenthere for eight hours no, but as
(12:25):
if I, I, I, I did something,you know.
I look back and I'm like, oh,fuck you.
You know, I'm like yeah, andand, and it's like blah, blah,
blah, and I'm like okay, okay,you know, and I'm like, oh, so
what?
You know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (12:40):
That that, um, you're lazy, you're whatever, like you
were saying.
That's from you, that's yourvoice saying it to you, it's not
external forces.
Is that what you're saying?
Speaker 2 (12:51):
I think it's a little bit of both, because I think
it's me, yeah, and then theperception around you my, my
pickings.
You know where.
I need to have people who aregoing to feed that problem
instead of the opposite.
Speaker 1 (13:09):
Okay, right, yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:10):
So I chose people in my life who would be like why
are you being such a lazy ass?
You know what are you doing,sitting there for five minutes.
Speaker 1 (13:20):
So you picked motivators in your life to get
you to where you wanted to go.
Speaker 2 (13:25):
In ways.
Speaker 1 (13:25):
But the flip side of it is that when you do feel the
need to do nothing or rest,you're fucked.
It's like why aren't you doingsomething to progress you even
further, kind of thing.
Speaker 2 (13:36):
That's it.
So you know, all all the workI've been doing on myself for
the past year, I've beenlearning just that, which is, um
, that inner peace and and andto to honestly do nothing, and
how powerful it is to do nothing, and um, uh, it's, it's, you
know it's, it's, it's been lifechanging, but it's not easy.
Speaker 1 (14:00):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (14:01):
It's not easy.
Speaker 1 (14:02):
So I guess we could agree then that no matter man,
woman, children, no children,the external forces around us.
Speaker 2 (14:13):
Yeah, I mean, I think are a big.
Yeah, there's a, there's a baseand then everything like I don't
know how it was for you, butlike I was totally different
with my first born compared tomy second and, like you know, in
the, in the senses of I yeah,it's fine, we have a little bit
of time, you know versus yeah,it's fine, we have a little bit
(14:33):
of time.
Versus like the first was likewhat do you mean?
You know, like we have to getthis ready and just in case, and
oh my gosh.
So I feel like yes, but alsothere is experience in there
that you know, like look at afirst time mom oh, of course,
forget about mom First timecouple.
First time couple like withtheir first kid, and first time
(14:55):
couple, sorry, and a couple with, like you know, it's their
sixth kid, right, oh man.
Speaker 1 (15:00):
The dynamic is so different.
Speaker 2 (15:02):
Yeah, this one, like the kid, falls over.
They're like, yeah, whateveryou know.
And they're like, oh my gosh,oh, oh no, you know, it's like
Lion King, you know, like youknow, they're so freaking out,
like you know.
And the people with the sticks,you know, they're like yeah,
yeah, it's fine, it's a littlebit of dirt, kids got a hard
head.
Speaker 1 (15:19):
Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 2 (15:21):
Right.
Speaker 3 (15:24):
Yeah, a little bit of dirt never killed anybody, I
love it.
Speaker 2 (15:28):
Well, all right.
So how about this?
Okay, what object in your houseis sacred to your flop
lifestyle?
Couch a hoodie, I don't know.
Corner of the floor.
Speaker 1 (15:45):
Oh, my gosh A burrito blanket.
Okay, so it's like a twofer,but it's like in one.
I have my nook.
Okay, like the special area ofthe sofa.
That's the best right.
Speaker 2 (15:59):
And no one can take that spot when you're.
Speaker 1 (16:01):
Oh fuck, no, Trust me , the kids know They'll be like
oh, mom's in the nook, so thenook, and with that also goes my
nice big cozy blanket.
Speaker 2 (16:14):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (16:15):
That is like my spot.
I feel like, even with the TVon or whatever, like I, just I
feel like cozy and at peace inthat little spot.
I know I don't know why itsounds so silly, but it doesn't
sound silly at all, actually.
Yeah Sounds pretty normal.
That's, that's, that's mine.
What about you?
Speaker 2 (16:36):
Now, yeah, I would say now it's my office because
I've created like such apeaceful space in there.
Speaker 1 (16:46):
Now, you know, I have my little incense and I have
like all my little stuff and Igo in there and I just kind of
relax and I think or not thinkand I just kind of relax and I
think or not think so, do youever mentally like defend your
rest time, like your flop time,like explain it to yourself or
others, like do you ever feellike you have to mentally defend
(17:09):
that?
Speaker 2 (17:10):
In the past, yeah, but now not so much, not so much
.
It's a tough question actually.
No, yeah, no, not so muchanymore.
I think that no, to answer thequestion, yes, there's been many
times where I had to kind oflike mentally defend, like why I
(17:34):
want to take a break or sitdown or whatever.
Speaker 1 (17:36):
I'm allowed to sit and relax.
Speaker 2 (17:37):
Yeah, and you're almost trying to convince
whatever I'm allowed to sit andrelax, yeah, and you're almost
trying to convince yourself.
Almost yes, very much so it'slike almost like your brain is
kind of like what are you doing?
And you're like look, I deservethis.
And you're like having thisconversation.
Speaker 1 (17:50):
Yeah, chanting affirmations to yourself.
Speaker 2 (17:53):
Yeah, oh my gosh.
Speaker 1 (17:56):
Oh shit, yeah, I do too.
Like I said, I still.
I actually have gotten betterat it in the last few months.
I'm like, okay, you know what.
I don't actually need to defendthis, even to myself.
I'm allowed to.
Speaker 2 (18:15):
Well, without getting too personal, we've technically
both been working on ourselvesthese past little while, you
know, since we started thepodcast.
Speaker 1 (18:24):
Yeah Well, and before , and before in different ways,
but I mean yeah.
Speaker 2 (18:29):
But yeah, so it's good.
Speaker 1 (18:31):
I know it's really nice.
I finally feel like I'm livinglife as opposed to just in it.
Does that make sense?
Speaker 2 (18:43):
Yeah, it actually makes a lot of sense because
that's exactly how I feel.
I feel like even though itstill might not even be evident
to me I noticed that there'slike big changes, you know, and
and they're, they're creeping.
(19:03):
You know that the changes arecreeping just in the way I think
the way I feel who I choose totalk to now.
Yeah, All of it is different andit's weird, you know, because
it feels like a whole new life,right, like because all those
things mentally are changing.
So obviously the people youtalk to are entirely different
(19:24):
than what what they were beforeor what you thought of them
before.
Yeah, yeah so it's, it's prettycool yeah, it's really, it's
really nice so how about we getinto our this and that showdown?
Speaker 1 (19:36):
let's go, brother, you start all right.
Speaker 2 (19:40):
So intentional nap or accidental nap?
Speaker 1 (19:45):
oh both.
Both are nice, but intentional,I will.
I will pick intentional okay,yeah, yeah, yeah, that's good
yeah yeah, yeah, um pajamas allday or change into lounge
clothes lounge clothes yeah,more of a lounge clothes same um
although, although I havesundays, are my pajama all day
(20:07):
days I don't have pajamas okay,so like for me lounge is like
usually, I'll wear sweatpants,which I wear sweatpants quite
often.
Speaker 2 (20:19):
Yeah.
And like a hoodie.
Speaker 1 (20:22):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (20:22):
That's like my jam.
Speaker 1 (20:24):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (20:25):
You know Cold drink on the couch or warm drink in
bed.
Speaker 1 (20:33):
I'm not a fan of warm drinks.
I know that sounds silly.
You're like everybody isgasping on the other side fan of
warm drinks.
I know that sounds silly,you're like everybody is gasping
on the other side.
But like, unless it's likeChristmasy winter weather and
you're purposefully with thefamily having hot chocolate with
Milchmallows and it's like it'slike an event at our house,
(20:53):
like the hot chocolate thing,like the gourmet hot chocolate
balls that you dip in and haveto wait, you know all that shit.
So, and that's only like to mein my mind, very specific times.
I'm a huge ice coffee fan, sofor me it's more the ice drink
and couch bed outdoors, indoorsdoesn't really matter, so I'll
(21:15):
take cold drink on the sofa.
Speaker 2 (21:19):
That's what it was right.
Speaker 1 (21:21):
Cold drink on the sofa.
Speaker 2 (21:22):
Yep.
Speaker 1 (21:22):
Yeah, I will take that Long-winded explanation to
get to that answer.
But that's my answer.
Speaker 2 (21:28):
Nice.
What about you?
I don't care Okay.
I do both.
Snacks within reach or fullfasting flop.
What do you mean?
Full fasting flop?
Like don't eat anything.
Yeah, I'm, I'm, I'm justbecause of my mindset right now,
I'm going to go with thefasting flop.
(21:49):
Really.
Yeah, I don't eat snacks rightnow, so You're good, I've gotten
back into the snacks.
Speaker 1 (21:56):
I was better and now I'm worse.
Speaker 2 (21:57):
Yeah, no, I know I will when I finish my
competition.
That's true, yeah, yeah, I'mnot moving flop, or I'll slowly
migrate around the house, flop.
Speaker 1 (22:13):
Right now it's I'm not moving flop.
Okay, how about you?
Speaker 2 (22:18):
Yeah me too.
Probably flop.
Okay, how about you?
Yeah me too.
Speaker 1 (22:20):
probably yeah same.
How about this?
A morning rest or an eveningrest?
Speaker 2 (22:27):
I mean I go to bed at eight.
Speaker 1 (22:30):
But are you resting in the morning too?
Speaker 2 (22:33):
A little yeah here and there.
It depends.
You know like where I'm atclient-wise.
No, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (22:41):
I'm going to say evening rest, the wind down from
the day after the kids are inbed, and you're just like yeah,
yeah, I don't remember whatthose are like Because you go to
bed so early.
Yeah, you go to bed before theydo so.
For you, it would definitely bemorning rest, because you get
up before them, don't you?
Speaker 2 (23:02):
I'm up at around 3.30 .
Speaker 1 (23:03):
There you go, you're up way before them 3.30,.
Speaker 2 (23:06):
You know I slept in today though, because I went to
bed late, but normally yeah.
Yeah, all right, background TVyou've seen 1,000 times or
complete silence.
Speaker 1 (23:23):
Okay, so the background TV is the
naturescapes on YouTube.
You know where they go through.
Speaker 2 (23:29):
All those I'll take that over and over and over
again.
Speaker 1 (23:34):
No, it's Cocomelon Okay.
Speaker 2 (23:35):
So then silence.
Speaker 1 (23:37):
All right, One more.
Each Josh cancelled plans orghosting responsibilities.
Speaker 2 (23:46):
Ghosting responsibilities.
Yeah, oh, my gosh.
All right, let me think here.
Oh, overthink everything whiledoing nothing, or mentally peace
out oh, I've done both.
Speaker 1 (24:07):
I think mentally peace out okay yeah same.
Yeah, yeah, yeah all right,that was a fun one.
Speaker 2 (24:16):
That was a good one, that was great.
Speaker 1 (24:19):
Let's do a regret of the week before we peace out on
this episode.
Is there anything from thisweek that you wished you could
change or take back?
Speaker 2 (24:31):
I really try not to have regrets.
I know you mentioned that inthe regret episode.
Speaker 1 (24:50):
So, this one's going to be a little tough for me, but
I guess if I have to picksomething, I wish that I didn't.
You know, I regret eating thatextra slice of pizza on the
weekend.
Yeah, my regret is that Ididn't find it in me to start
gardening in the beautifulweather.
Speaker 2 (25:02):
Plenty of time for that, don't stress Plenty of
time when we had it.
But yeah, don't worry, we'regoing to get it.
Speaker 1 (25:07):
Yeah, we'll get there .
Doing nothing doesn't meanyou're wasting time.
It means you're lettingyourself breathe.
Speaker 2 (25:15):
Absolutely.
Speaker 1 (25:17):
Hands down.
Speaker 2 (25:17):
Hands down.
Speaker 1 (25:19):
And that's it for this episode.
So thanks for tuning in toBrother, Sister, Whatever, and
we'll see you next week.
Speaker 2 (25:24):
And remember please start following us.
Yes, I know Instagram, whatwe're on YouTube, facebook,
facebook, follow us.
Come on, we want to hear aboutyour situation, and so on.
Okay, all right, bye, bye.
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If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.