May 29, 2025 • 32 mins
Ever wondered if all this self-improvement stuff is actually making us better—or just making us obsessed? Josh and Lisa dive headfirst into the complicated world of modern self-help, questioning when personal growth becomes a personality trait and why we're all suddenly desperate to fix ourselves.
The siblings share candid stories about their own journeys, from Josh's realization that gaming had become a void-filling addiction rather than a healthy hobby, to Lisa's experience with misleading self-help messaging that actually prevented her progress. They tackle the important distinction between aspects of ourselves that genuinely need improvement versus accepting certain personality traits as they are.
You'll laugh as they debate extreme wellness scenarios in their "This or That" segment (Would you rather wake up at 4am daily or drink celery juice for every meal?), but you'll also find genuine wisdom about finding balance in your personal development journey. Josh shares his experiences with journaling, while Lisa reveals how she's learning to embrace tools like therapy and mindfulness practices.
Perhaps most valuably, they explore what happens when partners grow at different rates, with Josh offering a beautiful metaphor about relationships as waves where sometimes one person leads while the other catches up. "You never have to be right there with someone," he observes, "but I don't think you can get too far ahead."
Whether you're a self-help skeptic or a personal development junkie, this episode offers refreshing perspective on finding authentic growth without falling into the traps of toxic positivity or wellness obsession. Subscribe now and join us on the journey where real talk meets zero chill!
Thanks for hanging out with us on Brother Sister Whatever, your no-BS guide through the messy middle!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hi everyone, welcome to Brother, sister.
Whatever where real talk meetszero chill.
I'm Lisa.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
And I'm Josh.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
And today we're going to talk about self-help.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
Self-help, oh boy.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
Self-help.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
How we fixed ourselves.
Speaker 1 (00:15):
How we fixed ourselves or are still trying to
.
Okay, why is everyone alwaystrying to fix themselves?
Speaker 2 (00:26):
I think, because people are finally realizing
that they're the problem.
Speaker 1 (00:32):
Is that what that is?
Speaker 2 (00:34):
I think so, I think so.
I think we're so used toblaming everyone else we're
finally realizing that we mighthave to look at the common
denominator.
Speaker 1 (00:43):
Yes, common denominator Right, it's true.
It's true.
Do you think it's become likeits own personality type?
Speaker 2 (00:53):
Like in what way?
Well, I know that there'speople who are Like self-helping
, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
Yeah, you know what I mean it's like oh, I'm walking,
oh I'm reading a book, oh, I'mself-helping.
Speaker 2 (01:06):
Yeah, well, I know that there are addicts.
Speaker 1 (01:10):
Self-help addicts yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:11):
And, like you know, it's like they're so
self-helping that they're likeselfish.
Speaker 1 (01:21):
Okay.
Deep dive into that one, whatdo you know?
Dive into that one?
What?
Speaker 2 (01:24):
would you mean, for example, one, one person where
it's like everything was alwaysabout like him getting better
and this and that, okay, butalso like there was, there was,
you know it was, it was all forlike a purpose of like what he
could get, versus like from you,so to speak, like there was no
giving in in that kind of likefrom you, so to speak, like
(01:45):
there was no giving in that kindof like.
Like you know, like self-helpis, yes, you're trying to
understand yourself and this andthat, but like his self-help
was like understanding himself,but then, like you know, having
to do this for himself and hehas to have this and you know,
because this is, you know, hisvibe now, okay, and you know,
because this is you, know hisvibe now okay, and, and you know
(02:07):
like it was just very you feltit was like it's more like um
selfish, like more of a takingmore of a taking maybe using it
yeah to your advantage yeah,exactly, and.
And so you know, there, I thinkthere's such a thing as a little
overboard, you know a littletoo much self-help.
Speaker 1 (02:31):
Well, I've asked myself sometimes like am I just
finding things to fix?
Because one thing I've learnedis that I'm a fixer.
Definitely know that aboutmyself, definitely know that
about myself.
So does that also like I've?
I've stopped and actually askedmyself am I being a fixer on
(02:51):
myself now?
Speaker 2 (02:54):
But that's normal right.
Like that's, that's what you do, right, like you, you, you help
yourself, you fix yourself andyou're always looking for, but
that's the asterisk.
Speaker 1 (03:13):
You're always looking like, what if you're making
more out of something?
Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 3 (03:17):
Yeah, I get it, but that's up to you.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
What requires help and working on something versus
this is simply a part of mypersonality.
Speaker 2 (03:27):
Well, I think I think what it comes down to is how
you feel about said situation.
You know, so if you're alwaysfeeling like shit or other
people around you are feelinglike shit, it's about like okay,
is it them or me?
And and then you know, figurethat.
So that's, that's important, Ithink yeah, no like.
(03:49):
I've had a lot of those momentswhere you ask yourself that well
, I'm where I'm asking myselflike, okay, this person is not
feeling good, you know, and I'mnot feeling good.
Is it me or is it us, or is itthem?
And trying to, you know, figurethat out and weed through it
(04:15):
kind of thing, you know.
So I think that when you havethose epiphanies, yeah, you have
to, but I'm not going to belike I can.
Like I'm trying to think of agood example, like, for example,
I knew I had to work on myselfwhen it came to my gaming, and
it wasn't because I had peoplebitching at me, it was because I
(04:40):
started feeling depressed.
Speaker 3 (04:43):
I started feeling.
Speaker 2 (04:45):
And don't get me wrong, there's maybe some other
people out there where they feelthe opposite.
And that's okay, you know,because I did feel the opposite,
but it was more of filling avoid than it was actually
helping myself, you know.
So it's those kind of thingswhere you have to decipher and
and figure out are you just kindof filling the void or are you
(05:07):
actually like self-helping?
Right yep, because gaming couldbe, could be, self-helping.
I need a break, I need to youknow I need to let loose.
I, I can't just always be on.
I have to have my time.
I have to do things for myself,right, right.
Speaker 1 (05:23):
Like a hobby.
Speaker 2 (05:24):
Like a hobby, right, but there's a difference from
that, and then it going toanother place.
Speaker 1 (05:29):
Well, absolutely.
So yeah, you could say thatabout pretty much everything.
Speaker 2 (05:35):
Yeah, true.
Speaker 1 (05:36):
Yeah, you could say that about pretty much
everything.
Okay, let's pause here andlet's do weekly.
What if?
Speaker 2 (05:43):
Yeah, okay, let, okay , let's pause here and let's do
weekly.
What if?
Yeah, let's do it.
What if you had to live onefull week following the most
extreme self-help advice outthere?
Wake up at 4.30 am, cold plungegratitude journal no caffeine,
no phone.
Eat raw kale.
(06:04):
No caffeine, no phone, eat rawkale.
10,000 steps before 9am.
How fast would you break?
Would you be able to pull itoff One?
Speaker 1 (06:16):
week.
I don't think I'd be able topull it off for one week.
I think I could pull it off fora week, but I'd be miserable
doing it, do you?
Speaker 3 (06:26):
know what I mean.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (06:27):
And I don't think that's the point of it.
No, it's not Of any of that, doyou know?
And so like, when you're tryingto be better person, eat better
.
Whatever it is that you'retrying to better, it has to come
from a place of like, actualwant.
(06:47):
Otherwise, what the fuck areyou doing it for?
You're just going to makethings worse, in my opinion.
I'm no scientist, I'm notherapist, I'm no like, none of
that shit.
But one thing I know is, if Isay to myself I need to eat
healthier which I know I do andI cut out all the sugar and all
(07:11):
of the bad drinks and nocaffeine and all of this, I'm
just like from, just like thatboom, I'm just making it more
painful.
Speaker 3 (07:22):
For sure.
Speaker 1 (07:23):
Now, if you were to ease into it and maybe just like
, that's a different story.
Speaker 2 (07:28):
Yeah, I mean, everything should be in
moderation anyways.
I used to be that person whereit's like you're having a donut,
oh shit, you know.
It's like you know what's inthat, you know how bad it is for
you, you know like all thatcrap.
Now it's like you know I don'tcare if I have a donut.
Speaker 1 (07:49):
You never answered.
Speaker 2 (07:50):
Oh yeah, I would do that.
I wouldn't have a problem withthat.
Speaker 1 (07:55):
Of course.
Speaker 2 (07:56):
Well, I mean because I'm technically doing three
quarters of it.
Okay, okay, a quarter, I'mdoing a quarter of it.
Speaker 1 (08:04):
Do you see my face?
People Look at this.
Speaker 2 (08:07):
I mean I'm up at four , okay.
The cold plunge I mean I dotake cold showers once in a
while.
The gratitude journal I do thatalmost every day.
Oh, fuck off.
Speaker 1 (08:19):
You're like the person on Instagram that I try
to escape from.
Speaker 2 (08:25):
Okay, I don't go around being like I eat kale,
I'm just saying these are someof the things I do, the ones I
don't do.
No caffeine I pretty much havecoffee every day, at least one
cup.
No phone yeah, that definitelyimpossible.
Eat raw kale I mean I haven'tdone that.
10,000 steps I do, but notbefore 9 am.
(08:46):
Eat raw kale I mean I haven'tdone that 10,000 steps I do, but
not before 9am.
Speaker 1 (08:49):
So Okay, you're redeeming yourself a little.
But, you think you'd be, you'dbe okay.
Actually, you know what?
I could see you doing it Like.
I mean, like I've mentionedbefore, I think you just you
have this thing, you have avision, this is what you want
you go for it.
I admire that about you, butfucking pain in my ass sometimes
(09:12):
, you know.
Speaker 2 (09:22):
Anyway, okay, oh, if you could make a fake guru name
for yourself, what would it be?
I don't know, I guess, becauseI'm daoism now and everything,
I'd like the warrior monk orsomething.
Josh the monk, no, you knowwhat?
Josh the dao disciple, yeahlook at you josh the dao
(09:45):
disciple.
I'd have classes and peoplewould come in.
Speaker 1 (09:50):
Yes, my child yes, oh man oh man, let the river flow
I can't even compare, I can'teven like compete with that, so
I'm just not even gonna givemyself a name what?
No, you have to give a name no,I don't oh god can't make me,
(10:11):
oh geez okay, so self-helpstarter pack oh shit oh man,
okay, the self-help starter pack.
What most people try first.
Books are obviously huge Books,podcasts.
Speaker 3 (10:33):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (10:35):
I've even done like Pinterest, you know, looking for
quotes or affirmations, stufflike that.
Speaker 2 (10:43):
Activity physical activity Physical activity.
Speaker 1 (10:44):
You know, like walking, yeah, fresh air.
Speaker 2 (10:45):
Listeningirmations, stuff like that.
Activity, physical activity.
Physical activity, you know,like walking.
Speaker 1 (10:47):
Yeah fresh air listening to birds chirp.
Speaker 3 (10:50):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (10:51):
All of that fun stuff .
Now, speaking of books, whatare some of your, actually?
You know what?
Let's name one book, self-helpbook, that you have truly
enjoyed or that has made adifference.
Not the only one, but at leastone.
Speaker 2 (11:11):
I'm so bad at names, but I have one.
Speaker 1 (11:14):
Okay, go for it.
While you're looking it up, Iwill actually say one of the
ones that I truly enjoyed wasAtomic Habits.
Speaker 2 (11:24):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (11:25):
Okay, enjoyed was.
Speaker 3 (11:31):
Atomic.
Speaker 1 (11:31):
Habits Okay, okay, just the ability to like look at
how to form a habit differently.
Yeah, was really inspiring andkind of changed how I look at
myself, because I was alwayslike why am I so?
Why do I find it so hard tofollow through with things?
Speaker 3 (11:45):
Right, right, yeah, okay.
Speaker 1 (11:47):
So that one was a big one for me, one of the big ones
.
There's been tons of others,but that was a big one for me.
What, uh, which?
The one?
Speaker 2 (11:55):
that changed everything for me, yeah, and got
me kind of into my groove.
Speaker 3 (11:59):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (12:00):
The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck by Mark Manson.
Speaker 1 (12:04):
That one, mark Mans, not giving a fuck by, uh, mark
manson.
Speaker 2 (12:05):
that one, mark manson your guy, that one there he's.
Speaker 1 (12:08):
Uh, he's a true chap have you read any self-help like
parenting books?
Speaker 2 (12:12):
um, I started one, I think, the one that you uh
recommended to me oh shit,wasn't it you?
I think it was you thatrecommended it to me.
Speaker 1 (12:19):
It's been good oh, the parenting map by dr Shefali.
Yeah, okay, yeah, that waseye-opening.
Speaker 2 (12:27):
Oh, and I have Atomic Habits.
Speaker 1 (12:28):
Oh you do.
Yeah, it was good.
Yeah, you should read it orlisten to it.
Speaker 2 (12:33):
For some reason I didn't go through that one.
Speaker 1 (12:35):
Yeah, definitely like .
Self-help books are like thenumber one way.
Speaker 2 (12:42):
For sure.
Speaker 1 (12:43):
I would think to like .
Change your life, change yourlife.
And now podcasts are justbecoming more and more big.
All of these like I mean.
You have so many like the BreneBrowns.
I think even Mark Manson hashis own podcast, does he not?
Speaker 2 (12:55):
Yeah, he does.
Speaker 1 (12:55):
Okay so like there's, they're all over.
Speaker 3 (12:58):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (12:58):
You can't escape it.
Speaker 3 (13:00):
No.
Speaker 1 (13:00):
You, you can't say oh , I don't know where to start, I
don't know what to do, I don'tknow how to.
Speaker 2 (13:05):
There's so much help out there.
Speaker 1 (13:08):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:08):
You know, and if you're listening and, like we
said about the fan mail, you cansend us something and we'll
send you some of our top books.
Speaker 1 (13:16):
Yeah, for sure.
We'd love to hear what you guyshave read.
What's inspired you?
When does the advice go frombeing helpful to being harmful
in a way?
Have you ever seen messagingthat was more harmful than
(13:36):
helpful?
And I'll give you an example Ifyou want it badly enough, the
universe will give it to you,right?
So one of the things that I wastold similar to that actually
is if you're not doing it or youdon't have it, it must mean
(14:00):
that you didn't want it badlyenough.
Speaker 2 (14:03):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (14:04):
Okay, and I used to wear it.
I almost used to wear that oruse it as like a.
Speaker 2 (14:14):
Like a crutch yeah.
Speaker 1 (14:16):
You know, I guess I didn't want it badly enough
Right After I did nothing to getit or to even try to change or
to whatever the case.
It was Right and like let'stake eating healthier as an
example.
Like I said, didn't want itbadly enough, didn't make any
(14:38):
changes, didn't give up thatsnack, didn't give you know,
didn't eat more kale, whateverthe fuck.
So I feel like that harmed memore than it helped me.
So I feel like that harmed memore than it helped me, because
it wasn't until afterwards, whenI was reading about how the
brain works.
Right, it's almost like that.
(15:05):
Thinking that way of thinkingthat sentence, I made myself
believe that, and so, therefore,my actions followed it.
Speaker 3 (15:15):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (15:15):
Does that make sense?
Speaker 3 (15:17):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (15:17):
So it did like the complete opposite of what I had
wanted, just by hearing thosewords.
Speaker 2 (15:25):
Your luck is based off of how much you sweat, you
know.
So it's like basically there is, metaphorically, yeah, okay.
So basically there is no luck,right?
It's how hard you work and thatluck comes from the work you do
, kind of thing.
So you know that could beperceived also as negative in a
(15:47):
way.
Speaker 1 (15:48):
Yeah.
Well, what about those peoplethat are working really fucking
hard, Like there's?
There's more to it than justwork?
Speaker 2 (15:58):
Exactly.
Speaker 1 (15:59):
Working hard at something.
Speaker 2 (16:00):
You know.
So I think I think you, you,when you hear these kinds of
lines.
Speaker 1 (16:04):
That's what I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (16:05):
Of of.
I think you have to really kindof take it with a grain of salt
, because but put it intocontext.
But that's it.
That's it, you know, becauseyou'll hear those, especially
those kind of things.
I hear them all the time.
Speaker 1 (16:19):
So what are your thoughts on like journaling?
Speaker 2 (16:24):
I'm getting into it.
Speaker 1 (16:25):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (16:26):
But I journal a little differently.
Speaker 1 (16:30):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (16:36):
I journal a little differently.
Okay, so I don't journal likemy day or like my stuff, or like
what I'm thinking or reflection.
I reflect in a different way.
I read a quote and I do it oncea week and then I take the
quote and then I journal aboutwhat I think the quote means to
me in my life.
Speaker 1 (16:52):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (16:52):
You know.
So that's kind of like what Ido as like my little journal
slash reflection.
Speaker 1 (16:58):
Yeah, that's nice, that sounds very nice actually.
Speaker 2 (17:02):
Yeah, and every week I have a new anchor for the
whole week.
Okay, and so I try to repeat itevery once in a while when I'm
fucking pissed and you know know, sometimes it works, sometimes
it doesn't, but yeah, you um, Ifind it hard to journal in the
(17:24):
old school way of like actuallywriting.
Speaker 1 (17:27):
I'm more of a audio journal.
Speaker 2 (17:32):
That's cool.
Speaker 1 (17:33):
Yeah, like audio to notes kind of thing.
Speaker 2 (17:35):
Yeah, yeah, Like it.
Speaker 1 (17:38):
Just it works best for me.
What about therapy?
Speaker 2 (17:44):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (17:45):
I think I personally think and I know some people
will very much disagree with meon this but I actually think
everybody should be in therapy,and not because we're all fucked
up.
That's absolutely not what Imean.
I just mean there is value totherapy in all people, to all
(18:10):
degrees.
You can get something out of it, no matter how little or how
much you want it.
Speaker 2 (18:19):
For sure you know what I mean.
For sure, yeah, I think therapyis very important.
I think AI therapy is going tobecome a lot more big.
I mean it already is.
Speaker 1 (18:33):
Yeah, but um Certainly cheaper.
Speaker 2 (18:36):
Certainly cheaper and , um, you know it's, it's
becoming more and morefascinating and real and and uh,
so you know.
But yes, therapy, I think, isvery important healthy, mediocre
, not healthy, like whatever the, the, the point is, it should
(18:56):
be happening.
Speaker 1 (18:57):
Yeah.
You know, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I just um yeah.
I think everybody should have,uh, some sort of motivator in
their life to hype them up whenthey're feeling down to yeah you
know, push them when they needthat.
Push in any form, whatever formthat is that looks like to you
(19:23):
you know, yeah, I think, I thinkit's important for sure.
I try, I'm trying, I'm realizingmore and more um now at this
age, in my 40s, how valuablethose things are, those tools
(19:54):
and I'm trying to not all tools,but there are a few tools that
I try to encourage the kids toto do too, like journaling, I
think, writing, writing down, oror video, blog, vlogging,
journal, whatever right whateverform that journal comes in.
I'm trying to encourage theboys to do that.
I think it helps to like uhwhen you internalize everything
all the time and I've done thatfor a very long time.
It does something to you.
(20:14):
You feel alone a lot of timesYou're not alone.
So sometimes even just sayinghow you feel out loud, even if
it's not to a person, but you'reputting those words out in the
air.
I think it can help I don'tknow, that's just my thought
process on it?
Speaker 2 (20:29):
I think so too I think you can help.
Speaker 1 (20:30):
Yeah, I don't know, that's just my.
Speaker 2 (20:31):
No, I think so too.
My thought process on it.
I think so too.
I think you're right yeah.
Speaker 1 (20:33):
Yeah, and like I mean , I think more and more that
kids these days need to be shownsome form of tool that they can
use.
Yeah, you know what I mean.
Think about when we were kids,right?
Like we didn't.
We didn't like that kind ofstuff wasn't anything we knew
(20:56):
about.
We very much internalizedthings and we thought we were
the only ones that ever felt it.
Speaker 2 (21:02):
I mean, in some ways, you know, even though you know
parents in general, includingeach other we're not, you know,
gurus in these types of thingsbut I think it starts with the
kid feeling safe, you know, tobe able to speak um at home,
yeah, and then from there it, itmakes it easier to move around.
(21:22):
But you know there's alwaysdisagreement when there's change
, when things change, whenthings are different.
You know everyone always wantseverything to stay exactly the
same.
There's a lot to unpack on thisone, actually.
Speaker 1 (21:39):
Change is.
Change is hard for some people.
Everything yeah.
Speaker 2 (21:42):
Everything is hard in that regard, yeah.
Speaker 1 (21:47):
Last question before we move on to this or that
segment Do you think thatself-help is empowering or
exhausting?
Speaker 2 (21:56):
No, I think it's empowering.
Speaker 1 (21:57):
Yeah, you Do.
You think there's a line.
Speaker 2 (22:00):
Yeah, for sure, I think there's a line, but I
think for the most part, andlike for me personally, I think
it's been very empowering Mepersonally.
Speaker 1 (22:11):
I think it's been very empowering.
I think it's been empoweringfor myself, but I've also been
at a point where I found itexhausting.
Speaker 3 (22:25):
But I'll tell you why .
Speaker 1 (22:27):
It's usually because I'm not ready.
Speaker 2 (22:30):
Okay fair.
Speaker 1 (22:31):
So, whatever it is that I was searching for, I may
have found it, but then goingthrough or starting let's say
starting to read the book,because that's usually how it
gets started for me I found itexhausting.
Speaker 2 (22:58):
It's great and it's empowering if the timing is
right and if you're ready for it.
Yeah, I think that's veryimportant.
You know, when you're lookingat the self-help in general,
yeah, you know, I mean there'sbecause there's a lot of times
where you might have actuallyseen something and just kind of
moved on, and then now you lookat that same thing and like it
(23:18):
speaks to you.
Speaker 1 (23:19):
Yeah, exactly this or that, Josh.
Speaker 2 (23:22):
All right, so self-help edition.
So which one would you try?
Daily cold plunge or 100 dailyaffirmations?
Speaker 1 (23:31):
100 daily affirmations.
100 daily affirmations, nottaking any cold plunges.
Would you quit social mediaforever?
Or quit caffeine forever?
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (23:49):
Does this include business?
Speaker 1 (23:56):
I know, is this include?
Speaker 2 (23:57):
business.
No, if it doesn't includebusiness, social media, I would
get rid of.
Okay, so I guess I would go forthe coffee.
Speaker 1 (24:05):
No, yeah, you would quit social media yeah, I would
quit social media my bad.
Speaker 2 (24:07):
Yeah, caffeine is hard to give up.
Yeah, yeah, I would quit socialmedia my bad.
Speaker 1 (24:09):
Yeah, caffeine's hard to give up.
Speaker 2 (24:11):
Yeah, yeah, okay, wake up at 4 am daily or drink
celery juice for every meal, forevery meal.
Speaker 1 (24:22):
I will wake up at 4.
I'll just go to bed earlier.
Speaker 2 (24:26):
It's all good.
Yeah, I'm in bed at 8.
Speaker 1 (24:28):
It's all good Meditate three hours a day or
walk barefoot everywhere forgrounding I would meditate for
three hours um who walksbarefoot everywhere give up
sarcasm for a month, or give upmultitasking for a month.
(24:49):
I guess sarcasm, I don't knowif I would even know how to give
up multitasking for a month.
I guess sarcasm.
I don't know if I would evenknow how to give up multitasking
.
Okay, would you attend a 10 dayno speaking retreat?
Oh my God.
Speaker 3 (25:02):
That's my dream.
Speaker 1 (25:04):
Or go on a 30 day dopamine detox.
Speaker 2 (25:10):
What's that?
I don't know.
Dopamine detox, dopamine,dopamine.
We need dopamine, don't we?
We get like Like dopamine, it'slike the feel-good drug.
Speaker 1 (25:23):
It's the feel-good drug, but it's a detox.
What if you're so?
It would be a detox of the badthings that give you dopamine,
Like doom scrolling, for example, or whatever Shit I would maybe
do the detox.
I think that would be fun, thatsounds interesting yeah.
Speaker 2 (25:38):
I think I would do the detox, go on a find-yourself
solo trip or hire a life coach.
You can't afford.
Speaker 1 (25:48):
No, I would go on a solo trip.
I think that would hit all thebuttons for me.
Would you carry a crystal inyour pocket or tape affirmations
to your mirror?
Speaker 2 (26:03):
Crystal in my pocket.
Speaker 1 (26:05):
Oh, my God no.
Speaker 2 (26:07):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:07):
Do you know?
I have been really interestedin chakras lately.
Oh, yeah, yeah, oh the chakraslately.
Oh, yeah, yeah, oh the chakras,and what they do and like yeah.
Speaker 3 (26:16):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:17):
That's cool.
Speaker 2 (26:17):
I even got a book.
Speaker 1 (26:19):
No way I even got a book about it.
And I ordered a little chakrabracelet.
Didn't get it yet.
Speaker 2 (26:26):
Look at you I don't know, I'm like listen, I'll take
anything at this point,Whatever tools I can get.
Only speak in mantras or onlyeat food that raises your
vibration.
Speaker 1 (26:44):
Since we all know now , at this point, that I cannot
do food things, I'm going to sayI will speak in mantras.
Speaker 2 (26:52):
Okay, fair.
Speaker 1 (26:54):
Okay, Josh, join a wellness cult or start your own.
Speaker 2 (27:01):
Start my own.
Speaker 1 (27:02):
I knew it.
I knew it knew it.
I knew it um manifest love withmoon water or visualize your
future self every morning, atsunshine, at sunrise, matt like
the visualize myself everymorning yeah, that sounds kind
of cool.
I don't even know what the fuckmoon water is, so I'm gonna say
(27:24):
forget that.
Okay, josh, last one each.
Okay, yeah, do shadow workevery night.
Do you know what shadow work isokay?
Or have weekly ego deaththerapy?
Shadow work really would youshadow work?
Speaker 2 (27:43):
yeah, I think I would do shadow work.
All right, last one Okay, starta self-help YouTube channel or
delete your phone forever.
A YouTube channel, oh my gosh.
Speaker 1 (27:56):
Oh man, that was good .
Speaker 2 (27:57):
That was good.
Speaker 1 (27:58):
Okay.
So one last question to tiethis up.
One last question to tie thisup what if your self-help
journey?
Does not tie in with that ofyour partners, do you?
Speaker 2 (28:18):
think it matters?
I think it matters to a degree.
Yes.
Speaker 1 (28:21):
Okay, in what way do you think it matters?
Speaker 2 (28:24):
Well, you know, if you're going through this
self-help, you're probablyfiguring out things about
yourself, things that you didn'tlike before, which might be
connected to who you're with orwhatever, and a partner who
(28:50):
cares and believes in you and soon and so on and so on, will
most likely support you, and youknow, I think they need to at
least meet you somewhere.
You know.
It doesn't mean that they haveto be like, oh, you're doing
this, okay, I'm gonna do it too,but it should be something like
along the lines of like, oh,you're doing this now, like,
okay, you know what, I'm veryinterested in this.
Like you know, like this isgoing to make you more relaxed,
(29:13):
or whatever.
Like I'm going to, you know, gowith that, as opposed to being
like, why are you doing this,you know, or whatever, who knows
you know?
Um, so, yeah, I think so, andalso I feel like self-help could
fit into like morals and stufflike that, and so, you know I, I
don't think it would be absurdto think that, like, morals can
(29:35):
change and thoughts like thatcan change.
So, yeah, you know, I thinkpeople outgrow people all the
time, the time and, um, you knowit's either you know, like I, I
don't know.
I think that there's always.
Maybe, you know, you never, younever going to be right there
with someone.
(29:56):
I think sometimes people aregoing to be behind you and you
might have to, you know, slowdown and and wait for them.
And then other times, uh times,it might be you and they're
slowing down and waiting for you, but I don't think you can get
too far ahead.
You know, I think if you gettoo far ahead and you end up
(30:16):
leaving them in the dust, thenat some point there's just going
to be nothing there.
You know, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (30:24):
I actually really agree with that.
I agree.
I like what you said, thoughLike there are times where you
are maybe side by side, but mostof the time somebody's catching
up somewhere.
Speaker 3 (30:39):
Right, yeah, for sure .
Speaker 1 (30:41):
Like there's kind of like a wave.
Speaker 3 (30:43):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 1 (30:44):
Yeah, that was very insightful, josh.
Speaker 2 (30:49):
Well, just remember or was it the last episode or
this episode?
I'm known as Josh the.
Speaker 1 (30:57):
The Tao disciple.
Speaker 2 (30:58):
Yeah, the Tao, disciple the Tao disciple Josh
the Tao disciple.
Speaker 1 (31:04):
Oh fuck, I swear to God.
All right, well, that was agreat episode.
Speaker 2 (31:11):
That was a very good episode.
Speaker 1 (31:12):
I think you got to learn a little bit more about us
and what makes us tick.
Speaker 2 (31:18):
As always.
Speaker 1 (31:19):
As always, exactly so thanks for tuning.
In to Brother Sister Whateverwhere real talk meets zero chill
.
In to Brother Sister Whateverwhere real talk meets zero chill
.
And please like, subscribe,follow all channels, all
podcasts everywhere.
Speaker 2 (31:34):
And remember, we want to see that fan mail.
Speaker 3 (31:39):
Yes.
So let's see it.
Come on, talk to us.
Bye.
Hi everyone, welcome to Brother, sister.
Whatever where real talk meetszero chill.
I'm Lisa.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
And I'm Josh.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
And today we're going to talk about self-help.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
Self-help, oh boy.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
Self-help.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
How we fixed ourselves.
Speaker 1 (00:15):
How we fixed ourselves or are still trying to
.
Okay, why is everyone alwaystrying to fix themselves?
Speaker 2 (00:26):
I think, because people are finally realizing
that they're the problem.
Speaker 1 (00:32):
Is that what that is?
Speaker 2 (00:34):
I think so, I think so.
I think we're so used toblaming everyone else we're
finally realizing that we mighthave to look at the common
denominator.
Speaker 1 (00:43):
Yes, common denominator Right, it's true.
It's true.
Do you think it's become likeits own personality type?
Speaker 2 (00:53):
Like in what way?
Well, I know that there'speople who are Like self-helping
, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
Yeah, you know what I mean it's like oh, I'm walking,
oh I'm reading a book, oh, I'mself-helping.
Speaker 2 (01:06):
Yeah, well, I know that there are addicts.
Speaker 1 (01:10):
Self-help addicts yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:11):
And, like you know, it's like they're so
self-helping that they're likeselfish.
Speaker 1 (01:21):
Okay.
Deep dive into that one, whatdo you know?
Dive into that one?
What?
Speaker 2 (01:24):
would you mean, for example, one, one person where
it's like everything was alwaysabout like him getting better
and this and that, okay, butalso like there was, there was,
you know it was, it was all forlike a purpose of like what he
could get, versus like from you,so to speak, like there was no
giving in in that kind of likefrom you, so to speak, like
(01:45):
there was no giving in that kindof like.
Like you know, like self-helpis, yes, you're trying to
understand yourself and this andthat, but like his self-help
was like understanding himself,but then, like you know, having
to do this for himself and hehas to have this and you know,
because this is, you know, hisvibe now, okay, and you know,
because this is you, know hisvibe now okay, and, and you know
(02:07):
like it was just very you feltit was like it's more like um
selfish, like more of a takingmore of a taking maybe using it
yeah to your advantage yeah,exactly, and.
And so you know, there, I thinkthere's such a thing as a little
overboard, you know a littletoo much self-help.
Speaker 1 (02:31):
Well, I've asked myself sometimes like am I just
finding things to fix?
Because one thing I've learnedis that I'm a fixer.
Definitely know that aboutmyself, definitely know that
about myself.
So does that also like I've?
I've stopped and actually askedmyself am I being a fixer on
(02:51):
myself now?
Speaker 2 (02:54):
But that's normal right.
Like that's, that's what you do, right, like you, you, you help
yourself, you fix yourself andyou're always looking for, but
that's the asterisk.
Speaker 1 (03:13):
You're always looking like, what if you're making
more out of something?
Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 3 (03:17):
Yeah, I get it, but that's up to you.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
What requires help and working on something versus
this is simply a part of mypersonality.
Speaker 2 (03:27):
Well, I think I think what it comes down to is how
you feel about said situation.
You know, so if you're alwaysfeeling like shit or other
people around you are feelinglike shit, it's about like okay,
is it them or me?
And and then you know, figurethat.
So that's, that's important, Ithink yeah, no like.
(03:49):
I've had a lot of those momentswhere you ask yourself that well
, I'm where I'm asking myselflike, okay, this person is not
feeling good, you know, and I'mnot feeling good.
Is it me or is it us, or is itthem?
And trying to, you know, figurethat out and weed through it
(04:15):
kind of thing, you know.
So I think that when you havethose epiphanies, yeah, you have
to, but I'm not going to belike I can.
Like I'm trying to think of agood example, like, for example,
I knew I had to work on myselfwhen it came to my gaming, and
it wasn't because I had peoplebitching at me, it was because I
(04:40):
started feeling depressed.
Speaker 3 (04:43):
I started feeling.
Speaker 2 (04:45):
And don't get me wrong, there's maybe some other
people out there where they feelthe opposite.
And that's okay, you know,because I did feel the opposite,
but it was more of filling avoid than it was actually
helping myself, you know.
So it's those kind of thingswhere you have to decipher and
and figure out are you just kindof filling the void or are you
(05:07):
actually like self-helping?
Right yep, because gaming couldbe, could be, self-helping.
I need a break, I need to youknow I need to let loose.
I, I can't just always be on.
I have to have my time.
I have to do things for myself,right, right.
Speaker 1 (05:23):
Like a hobby.
Speaker 2 (05:24):
Like a hobby, right, but there's a difference from
that, and then it going toanother place.
Speaker 1 (05:29):
Well, absolutely.
So yeah, you could say thatabout pretty much everything.
Speaker 2 (05:35):
Yeah, true.
Speaker 1 (05:36):
Yeah, you could say that about pretty much
everything.
Okay, let's pause here andlet's do weekly.
What if?
Speaker 2 (05:43):
Yeah, okay, let, okay , let's pause here and let's do
weekly.
What if?
Yeah, let's do it.
What if you had to live onefull week following the most
extreme self-help advice outthere?
Wake up at 4.30 am, cold plungegratitude journal no caffeine,
no phone.
Eat raw kale.
(06:04):
No caffeine, no phone, eat rawkale.
10,000 steps before 9am.
How fast would you break?
Would you be able to pull itoff One?
Speaker 1 (06:16):
week.
I don't think I'd be able topull it off for one week.
I think I could pull it off fora week, but I'd be miserable
doing it, do you?
Speaker 3 (06:26):
know what I mean.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (06:27):
And I don't think that's the point of it.
No, it's not Of any of that, doyou know?
And so like, when you're tryingto be better person, eat better
.
Whatever it is that you'retrying to better, it has to come
from a place of like, actualwant.
(06:47):
Otherwise, what the fuck areyou doing it for?
You're just going to makethings worse, in my opinion.
I'm no scientist, I'm notherapist, I'm no like, none of
that shit.
But one thing I know is, if Isay to myself I need to eat
healthier which I know I do andI cut out all the sugar and all
(07:11):
of the bad drinks and nocaffeine and all of this, I'm
just like from, just like thatboom, I'm just making it more
painful.
Speaker 3 (07:22):
For sure.
Speaker 1 (07:23):
Now, if you were to ease into it and maybe just like
, that's a different story.
Speaker 2 (07:28):
Yeah, I mean, everything should be in
moderation anyways.
I used to be that person whereit's like you're having a donut,
oh shit, you know.
It's like you know what's inthat, you know how bad it is for
you, you know like all thatcrap.
Now it's like you know I don'tcare if I have a donut.
Speaker 1 (07:49):
You never answered.
Speaker 2 (07:50):
Oh yeah, I would do that.
I wouldn't have a problem withthat.
Speaker 1 (07:55):
Of course.
Speaker 2 (07:56):
Well, I mean because I'm technically doing three
quarters of it.
Okay, okay, a quarter, I'mdoing a quarter of it.
Speaker 1 (08:04):
Do you see my face?
People Look at this.
Speaker 2 (08:07):
I mean I'm up at four , okay.
The cold plunge I mean I dotake cold showers once in a
while.
The gratitude journal I do thatalmost every day.
Oh, fuck off.
Speaker 1 (08:19):
You're like the person on Instagram that I try
to escape from.
Speaker 2 (08:25):
Okay, I don't go around being like I eat kale,
I'm just saying these are someof the things I do, the ones I
don't do.
No caffeine I pretty much havecoffee every day, at least one
cup.
No phone yeah, that definitelyimpossible.
Eat raw kale I mean I haven'tdone that.
10,000 steps I do, but notbefore 9 am.
(08:46):
Eat raw kale I mean I haven'tdone that 10,000 steps I do, but
not before 9am.
Speaker 1 (08:49):
So Okay, you're redeeming yourself a little.
But, you think you'd be, you'dbe okay.
Actually, you know what?
I could see you doing it Like.
I mean, like I've mentionedbefore, I think you just you
have this thing, you have avision, this is what you want
you go for it.
I admire that about you, butfucking pain in my ass sometimes
(09:12):
, you know.
Speaker 2 (09:22):
Anyway, okay, oh, if you could make a fake guru name
for yourself, what would it be?
I don't know, I guess, becauseI'm daoism now and everything,
I'd like the warrior monk orsomething.
Josh the monk, no, you knowwhat?
Josh the dao disciple, yeahlook at you josh the dao
(09:45):
disciple.
I'd have classes and peoplewould come in.
Speaker 1 (09:50):
Yes, my child yes, oh man oh man, let the river flow
I can't even compare, I can'teven like compete with that, so
I'm just not even gonna givemyself a name what?
No, you have to give a name no,I don't oh god can't make me,
(10:11):
oh geez okay, so self-helpstarter pack oh shit oh man,
okay, the self-help starter pack.
What most people try first.
Books are obviously huge Books,podcasts.
Speaker 3 (10:33):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (10:35):
I've even done like Pinterest, you know, looking for
quotes or affirmations, stufflike that.
Speaker 2 (10:43):
Activity physical activity Physical activity.
Speaker 1 (10:44):
You know, like walking, yeah, fresh air.
Speaker 2 (10:45):
Listeningirmations, stuff like that.
Activity, physical activity.
Physical activity, you know,like walking.
Speaker 1 (10:47):
Yeah fresh air listening to birds chirp.
Speaker 3 (10:50):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (10:51):
All of that fun stuff .
Now, speaking of books, whatare some of your, actually?
You know what?
Let's name one book, self-helpbook, that you have truly
enjoyed or that has made adifference.
Not the only one, but at leastone.
Speaker 2 (11:11):
I'm so bad at names, but I have one.
Speaker 1 (11:14):
Okay, go for it.
While you're looking it up, Iwill actually say one of the
ones that I truly enjoyed wasAtomic Habits.
Speaker 2 (11:24):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (11:25):
Okay, enjoyed was.
Speaker 3 (11:31):
Atomic.
Speaker 1 (11:31):
Habits Okay, okay, just the ability to like look at
how to form a habit differently.
Yeah, was really inspiring andkind of changed how I look at
myself, because I was alwayslike why am I so?
Why do I find it so hard tofollow through with things?
Speaker 3 (11:45):
Right, right, yeah, okay.
Speaker 1 (11:47):
So that one was a big one for me, one of the big ones
.
There's been tons of others,but that was a big one for me.
What, uh, which?
The one?
Speaker 2 (11:55):
that changed everything for me, yeah, and got
me kind of into my groove.
Speaker 3 (11:59):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (12:00):
The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck by Mark Manson.
Speaker 1 (12:04):
That one, mark Mans, not giving a fuck by, uh, mark
manson.
Speaker 2 (12:05):
that one, mark manson your guy, that one there he's.
Speaker 1 (12:08):
Uh, he's a true chap have you read any self-help like
parenting books?
Speaker 2 (12:12):
um, I started one, I think, the one that you uh
recommended to me oh shit,wasn't it you?
I think it was you thatrecommended it to me.
Speaker 1 (12:19):
It's been good oh, the parenting map by dr Shefali.
Yeah, okay, yeah, that waseye-opening.
Speaker 2 (12:27):
Oh, and I have Atomic Habits.
Speaker 1 (12:28):
Oh you do.
Yeah, it was good.
Yeah, you should read it orlisten to it.
Speaker 2 (12:33):
For some reason I didn't go through that one.
Speaker 1 (12:35):
Yeah, definitely like .
Self-help books are like thenumber one way.
Speaker 2 (12:42):
For sure.
Speaker 1 (12:43):
I would think to like .
Change your life, change yourlife.
And now podcasts are justbecoming more and more big.
All of these like I mean.
You have so many like the BreneBrowns.
I think even Mark Manson hashis own podcast, does he not?
Speaker 2 (12:55):
Yeah, he does.
Speaker 1 (12:55):
Okay so like there's, they're all over.
Speaker 3 (12:58):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (12:58):
You can't escape it.
Speaker 3 (13:00):
No.
Speaker 1 (13:00):
You, you can't say oh , I don't know where to start, I
don't know what to do, I don'tknow how to.
Speaker 2 (13:05):
There's so much help out there.
Speaker 1 (13:08):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:08):
You know, and if you're listening and, like we
said about the fan mail, you cansend us something and we'll
send you some of our top books.
Speaker 1 (13:16):
Yeah, for sure.
We'd love to hear what you guyshave read.
What's inspired you?
When does the advice go frombeing helpful to being harmful
in a way?
Have you ever seen messagingthat was more harmful than
(13:36):
helpful?
And I'll give you an example Ifyou want it badly enough, the
universe will give it to you,right?
So one of the things that I wastold similar to that actually
is if you're not doing it or youdon't have it, it must mean
(14:00):
that you didn't want it badlyenough.
Speaker 2 (14:03):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (14:04):
Okay, and I used to wear it.
I almost used to wear that oruse it as like a.
Speaker 2 (14:14):
Like a crutch yeah.
Speaker 1 (14:16):
You know, I guess I didn't want it badly enough
Right After I did nothing to getit or to even try to change or
to whatever the case.
It was Right and like let'stake eating healthier as an
example.
Like I said, didn't want itbadly enough, didn't make any
(14:38):
changes, didn't give up thatsnack, didn't give you know,
didn't eat more kale, whateverthe fuck.
So I feel like that harmed memore than it helped me.
So I feel like that harmed memore than it helped me, because
it wasn't until afterwards, whenI was reading about how the
brain works.
Right, it's almost like that.
(15:05):
Thinking that way of thinkingthat sentence, I made myself
believe that, and so, therefore,my actions followed it.
Speaker 3 (15:15):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (15:15):
Does that make sense?
Speaker 3 (15:17):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (15:17):
So it did like the complete opposite of what I had
wanted, just by hearing thosewords.
Speaker 2 (15:25):
Your luck is based off of how much you sweat, you
know.
So it's like basically there is, metaphorically, yeah, okay.
So basically there is no luck,right?
It's how hard you work and thatluck comes from the work you do
, kind of thing.
So you know that could beperceived also as negative in a
(15:47):
way.
Speaker 1 (15:48):
Yeah.
Well, what about those peoplethat are working really fucking
hard, Like there's?
There's more to it than justwork?
Speaker 2 (15:58):
Exactly.
Speaker 1 (15:59):
Working hard at something.
Speaker 2 (16:00):
You know.
So I think I think you, you,when you hear these kinds of
lines.
Speaker 1 (16:04):
That's what I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (16:05):
Of of.
I think you have to really kindof take it with a grain of salt
, because but put it intocontext.
But that's it.
That's it, you know, becauseyou'll hear those, especially
those kind of things.
I hear them all the time.
Speaker 1 (16:19):
So what are your thoughts on like journaling?
Speaker 2 (16:24):
I'm getting into it.
Speaker 1 (16:25):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (16:26):
But I journal a little differently.
Speaker 1 (16:30):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (16:36):
I journal a little differently.
Okay, so I don't journal likemy day or like my stuff, or like
what I'm thinking or reflection.
I reflect in a different way.
I read a quote and I do it oncea week and then I take the
quote and then I journal aboutwhat I think the quote means to
me in my life.
Speaker 1 (16:52):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (16:52):
You know.
So that's kind of like what Ido as like my little journal
slash reflection.
Speaker 1 (16:58):
Yeah, that's nice, that sounds very nice actually.
Speaker 2 (17:02):
Yeah, and every week I have a new anchor for the
whole week.
Okay, and so I try to repeat itevery once in a while when I'm
fucking pissed and you know know, sometimes it works, sometimes
it doesn't, but yeah, you um, Ifind it hard to journal in the
(17:24):
old school way of like actuallywriting.
Speaker 1 (17:27):
I'm more of a audio journal.
Speaker 2 (17:32):
That's cool.
Speaker 1 (17:33):
Yeah, like audio to notes kind of thing.
Speaker 2 (17:35):
Yeah, yeah, Like it.
Speaker 1 (17:38):
Just it works best for me.
What about therapy?
Speaker 2 (17:44):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (17:45):
I think I personally think and I know some people
will very much disagree with meon this but I actually think
everybody should be in therapy,and not because we're all fucked
up.
That's absolutely not what Imean.
I just mean there is value totherapy in all people, to all
(18:10):
degrees.
You can get something out of it, no matter how little or how
much you want it.
Speaker 2 (18:19):
For sure you know what I mean.
For sure, yeah, I think therapyis very important.
I think AI therapy is going tobecome a lot more big.
I mean it already is.
Speaker 1 (18:33):
Yeah, but um Certainly cheaper.
Speaker 2 (18:36):
Certainly cheaper and , um, you know it's, it's
becoming more and morefascinating and real and and uh,
so you know.
But yes, therapy, I think, isvery important healthy, mediocre
, not healthy, like whatever the, the, the point is, it should
(18:56):
be happening.
Speaker 1 (18:57):
Yeah.
You know, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I just um yeah.
I think everybody should have,uh, some sort of motivator in
their life to hype them up whenthey're feeling down to yeah you
know, push them when they needthat.
Push in any form, whatever formthat is that looks like to you
(19:23):
you know, yeah, I think, I thinkit's important for sure.
I try, I'm trying, I'm realizingmore and more um now at this
age, in my 40s, how valuablethose things are, those tools
(19:54):
and I'm trying to not all tools,but there are a few tools that
I try to encourage the kids toto do too, like journaling, I
think, writing, writing down, oror video, blog, vlogging,
journal, whatever right whateverform that journal comes in.
I'm trying to encourage theboys to do that.
I think it helps to like uhwhen you internalize everything
all the time and I've done thatfor a very long time.
It does something to you.
(20:14):
You feel alone a lot of timesYou're not alone.
So sometimes even just sayinghow you feel out loud, even if
it's not to a person, but you'reputting those words out in the
air.
I think it can help I don'tknow, that's just my thought
process on it?
Speaker 2 (20:29):
I think so too I think you can help.
Speaker 1 (20:30):
Yeah, I don't know, that's just my.
Speaker 2 (20:31):
No, I think so too.
My thought process on it.
I think so too.
I think you're right yeah.
Speaker 1 (20:33):
Yeah, and like I mean , I think more and more that
kids these days need to be shownsome form of tool that they can
use.
Yeah, you know what I mean.
Think about when we were kids,right?
Like we didn't.
We didn't like that kind ofstuff wasn't anything we knew
(20:56):
about.
We very much internalizedthings and we thought we were
the only ones that ever felt it.
Speaker 2 (21:02):
I mean, in some ways, you know, even though you know
parents in general, includingeach other we're not, you know,
gurus in these types of thingsbut I think it starts with the
kid feeling safe, you know, tobe able to speak um at home,
yeah, and then from there it, itmakes it easier to move around.
(21:22):
But you know there's alwaysdisagreement when there's change
, when things change, whenthings are different.
You know everyone always wantseverything to stay exactly the
same.
There's a lot to unpack on thisone, actually.
Speaker 1 (21:39):
Change is.
Change is hard for some people.
Everything yeah.
Speaker 2 (21:42):
Everything is hard in that regard, yeah.
Speaker 1 (21:47):
Last question before we move on to this or that
segment Do you think thatself-help is empowering or
exhausting?
Speaker 2 (21:56):
No, I think it's empowering.
Speaker 1 (21:57):
Yeah, you Do.
You think there's a line.
Speaker 2 (22:00):
Yeah, for sure, I think there's a line, but I
think for the most part, andlike for me personally, I think
it's been very empowering Mepersonally.
Speaker 1 (22:11):
I think it's been very empowering.
I think it's been empoweringfor myself, but I've also been
at a point where I found itexhausting.
Speaker 3 (22:25):
But I'll tell you why .
Speaker 1 (22:27):
It's usually because I'm not ready.
Speaker 2 (22:30):
Okay fair.
Speaker 1 (22:31):
So, whatever it is that I was searching for, I may
have found it, but then goingthrough or starting let's say
starting to read the book,because that's usually how it
gets started for me I found itexhausting.
Speaker 2 (22:58):
It's great and it's empowering if the timing is
right and if you're ready for it.
Yeah, I think that's veryimportant.
You know, when you're lookingat the self-help in general,
yeah, you know, I mean there'sbecause there's a lot of times
where you might have actuallyseen something and just kind of
moved on, and then now you lookat that same thing and like it
(23:18):
speaks to you.
Speaker 1 (23:19):
Yeah, exactly this or that, Josh.
Speaker 2 (23:22):
All right, so self-help edition.
So which one would you try?
Daily cold plunge or 100 dailyaffirmations?
Speaker 1 (23:31):
100 daily affirmations.
100 daily affirmations, nottaking any cold plunges.
Would you quit social mediaforever?
Or quit caffeine forever?
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (23:49):
Does this include business?
Speaker 1 (23:56):
I know, is this include?
Speaker 2 (23:57):
business.
No, if it doesn't includebusiness, social media, I would
get rid of.
Okay, so I guess I would go forthe coffee.
Speaker 1 (24:05):
No, yeah, you would quit social media yeah, I would
quit social media my bad.
Speaker 2 (24:07):
Yeah, caffeine is hard to give up.
Yeah, yeah, I would quit socialmedia my bad.
Speaker 1 (24:09):
Yeah, caffeine's hard to give up.
Speaker 2 (24:11):
Yeah, yeah, okay, wake up at 4 am daily or drink
celery juice for every meal, forevery meal.
Speaker 1 (24:22):
I will wake up at 4.
I'll just go to bed earlier.
Speaker 2 (24:26):
It's all good.
Yeah, I'm in bed at 8.
Speaker 1 (24:28):
It's all good Meditate three hours a day or
walk barefoot everywhere forgrounding I would meditate for
three hours um who walksbarefoot everywhere give up
sarcasm for a month, or give upmultitasking for a month.
(24:49):
I guess sarcasm, I don't knowif I would even know how to give
up multitasking for a month.
I guess sarcasm.
I don't know if I would evenknow how to give up multitasking
.
Okay, would you attend a 10 dayno speaking retreat?
Oh my God.
Speaker 3 (25:02):
That's my dream.
Speaker 1 (25:04):
Or go on a 30 day dopamine detox.
Speaker 2 (25:10):
What's that?
I don't know.
Dopamine detox, dopamine,dopamine.
We need dopamine, don't we?
We get like Like dopamine, it'slike the feel-good drug.
Speaker 1 (25:23):
It's the feel-good drug, but it's a detox.
What if you're so?
It would be a detox of the badthings that give you dopamine,
Like doom scrolling, for example, or whatever Shit I would maybe
do the detox.
I think that would be fun, thatsounds interesting yeah.
Speaker 2 (25:38):
I think I would do the detox, go on a find-yourself
solo trip or hire a life coach.
You can't afford.
Speaker 1 (25:48):
No, I would go on a solo trip.
I think that would hit all thebuttons for me.
Would you carry a crystal inyour pocket or tape affirmations
to your mirror?
Speaker 2 (26:03):
Crystal in my pocket.
Speaker 1 (26:05):
Oh, my God no.
Speaker 2 (26:07):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:07):
Do you know?
I have been really interestedin chakras lately.
Oh, yeah, yeah, oh the chakraslately.
Oh, yeah, yeah, oh the chakras,and what they do and like yeah.
Speaker 3 (26:16):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:17):
That's cool.
Speaker 2 (26:17):
I even got a book.
Speaker 1 (26:19):
No way I even got a book about it.
And I ordered a little chakrabracelet.
Didn't get it yet.
Speaker 2 (26:26):
Look at you I don't know, I'm like listen, I'll take
anything at this point,Whatever tools I can get.
Only speak in mantras or onlyeat food that raises your
vibration.
Speaker 1 (26:44):
Since we all know now , at this point, that I cannot
do food things, I'm going to sayI will speak in mantras.
Speaker 2 (26:52):
Okay, fair.
Speaker 1 (26:54):
Okay, Josh, join a wellness cult or start your own.
Speaker 2 (27:01):
Start my own.
Speaker 1 (27:02):
I knew it.
I knew it knew it.
I knew it um manifest love withmoon water or visualize your
future self every morning, atsunshine, at sunrise, matt like
the visualize myself everymorning yeah, that sounds kind
of cool.
I don't even know what the fuckmoon water is, so I'm gonna say
(27:24):
forget that.
Okay, josh, last one each.
Okay, yeah, do shadow workevery night.
Do you know what shadow work isokay?
Or have weekly ego deaththerapy?
Shadow work really would youshadow work?
Speaker 2 (27:43):
yeah, I think I would do shadow work.
All right, last one Okay, starta self-help YouTube channel or
delete your phone forever.
A YouTube channel, oh my gosh.
Speaker 1 (27:56):
Oh man, that was good .
Speaker 2 (27:57):
That was good.
Speaker 1 (27:58):
Okay.
So one last question to tiethis up.
One last question to tie thisup what if your self-help
journey?
Does not tie in with that ofyour partners, do you?
Speaker 2 (28:18):
think it matters?
I think it matters to a degree.
Yes.
Speaker 1 (28:21):
Okay, in what way do you think it matters?
Speaker 2 (28:24):
Well, you know, if you're going through this
self-help, you're probablyfiguring out things about
yourself, things that you didn'tlike before, which might be
connected to who you're with orwhatever, and a partner who
(28:50):
cares and believes in you and soon and so on and so on, will
most likely support you, and youknow, I think they need to at
least meet you somewhere.
You know.
It doesn't mean that they haveto be like, oh, you're doing
this, okay, I'm gonna do it too,but it should be something like
along the lines of like, oh,you're doing this now, like,
okay, you know what, I'm veryinterested in this.
Like you know, like this isgoing to make you more relaxed,
(29:13):
or whatever.
Like I'm going to, you know, gowith that, as opposed to being
like, why are you doing this,you know, or whatever, who knows
you know?
Um, so, yeah, I think so, andalso I feel like self-help could
fit into like morals and stufflike that, and so, you know I, I
don't think it would be absurdto think that, like, morals can
(29:35):
change and thoughts like thatcan change.
So, yeah, you know, I thinkpeople outgrow people all the
time, the time and, um, you knowit's either you know, like I, I
don't know.
I think that there's always.
Maybe, you know, you never, younever going to be right there
with someone.
(29:56):
I think sometimes people aregoing to be behind you and you
might have to, you know, slowdown and and wait for them.
And then other times, uh times,it might be you and they're
slowing down and waiting for you, but I don't think you can get
too far ahead.
You know, I think if you gettoo far ahead and you end up
(30:16):
leaving them in the dust, thenat some point there's just going
to be nothing there.
You know, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (30:24):
I actually really agree with that.
I agree.
I like what you said, thoughLike there are times where you
are maybe side by side, but mostof the time somebody's catching
up somewhere.
Speaker 3 (30:39):
Right, yeah, for sure .
Speaker 1 (30:41):
Like there's kind of like a wave.
Speaker 3 (30:43):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 1 (30:44):
Yeah, that was very insightful, josh.
Speaker 2 (30:49):
Well, just remember or was it the last episode or
this episode?
I'm known as Josh the.
Speaker 1 (30:57):
The Tao disciple.
Speaker 2 (30:58):
Yeah, the Tao, disciple the Tao disciple Josh
the Tao disciple.
Speaker 1 (31:04):
Oh fuck, I swear to God.
All right, well, that was agreat episode.
Speaker 2 (31:11):
That was a very good episode.
Speaker 1 (31:12):
I think you got to learn a little bit more about us
and what makes us tick.
Speaker 2 (31:18):
As always.
Speaker 1 (31:19):
As always, exactly so thanks for tuning.
In to Brother Sister Whateverwhere real talk meets zero chill
.
In to Brother Sister Whateverwhere real talk meets zero chill
.
And please like, subscribe,follow all channels, all
podcasts everywhere.
Speaker 2 (31:34):
And remember, we want to see that fan mail.
Speaker 3 (31:39):
Yes.
So let's see it.
Come on, talk to us.
Bye.
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