February 20, 2025 • 32 mins
Have you ever wondered how technology might be quietly altering the fabric of your family life? Join us, Lisa and Josh, on "Brother, Sister. Whatever" as we unpack this pressing question, sharing personal stories and insights along the way. We'll open up about the one piece of wisdom we'd impart to our children—Josh's heartfelt advice for Jett and Fallon, and Lisa's steadfast belief in trusting one's gut. Our conversation then shifts towards whether our children are teaching us more about technology than we are teaching them, especially when faced with modern challenges like cyberbullying.
As gadgets continue to infiltrate our dinner tables, we'll peel back the layers on how these digital distractions are reshaping our ability to connect with one another. Can we reclaim those precious family moments from the grip of screens? We’ll share candid reflections on finding a balance between using technology wisely and avoiding addiction, offering practical strategies to combat the urge of mindless scrolling. Through discussing our shifting routines, we aim to uncover activities that can either nourish or drain our mental and spiritual health. Pull up a chair and let's see if we can all learn to look each other in the eye again.
Thanks for hanging out with us on Brother Sister Whatever, your no-BS guide through the messy middle!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome back to Brother, Sister.
Whatever, I'm Lisa and I'm Josh, and this is the podcast where
we talk about family life andall of the random things that
come with it, Some of it deep,some of it funny, but all of
it's real.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
Today we're diving into a big one Technology,
social media versus family life.
Is social media bringing uscloser together or is it just
making us more distracted?
Speaker 1 (00:24):
First, we've got our weekly what if?
Speaker 2 (00:26):
question what if you could magically give your kids
one piece of wisdom they'llcarry with them forever?
What would you choose and whythis is a good one?
Speaker 1 (00:42):
yeah, me or you.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
You can start if you have one I think I would give
two different pieces of advicewhy like to each kid?
You mean like one for each kidyeah, and I think I would do
that just because, like you,know they're well, gender, sure,
but like they're different.
So it's like I can kind of seethe paths already, you know.
Yeah, so it's like I would kindof see the paths, already.
You know yeah, so it's like Iwould kind of give.
Speaker 1 (01:06):
I will allow this.
Speaker 2 (01:09):
So I would say for Jet, my son, if I could give him
one piece of wisdom.
There's so many, there's somany things they need to know.
Speaker 1 (01:20):
You know yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:21):
For him it would probably be like real, real
simple.
You know, do what you love, dosomething that you love, really
stick to the niche or the thingthat that you just really enjoy
and, and you know, thrive withthat.
Make a business out of it.
Like you know, like, build thathe doesn't need to think about
(01:44):
falling into the standard normof, like okay, got to go to
university and I got to, youknow, I got to become this or I
got to, it's got to bemeaningful.
Or you know, I want him to knowthat, like he has that
entrepreneurial spirit and solike I need him to focus on the
thing that's going to bring himthe most joy.
(02:06):
For Jet, that's it.
And then Fallon.
I think Fallon is going to kindof go into that mold.
I just have a feeling.
So, even though you know theadvice is still sound, you can
do what you love, right?
I mean, we try to always.
I think for her it's going to besomething along the lines of
(02:27):
just, you know, watch your back.
You know, I think it would haveto do with trust.
You know, like it would be likekeep your friends close and
your enemies closer, kind ofthing.
You know, like she's just sosensitive.
You know which I love about her.
I'm happy that she's like that,that way that she she is like
that.
(02:48):
But I would say that, you know,don't be like me in the sense
of I do good in the world,shouldn't you know?
Shouldn't people be nice to me,you know, or I'm nice to this
person, why isn't this personnice to me?
I don't get that, you know like.
So I think she needs tounderstand that the world
doesn't work like that.
(03:08):
So that would be my piece ofadvice that the world doesn't
work like this.
Be nice, be kind, expectnothing and just be careful who
you trust.
Speaker 1 (03:22):
Those are very good.
I would have one piece ofadvice for all three of my kids
which would be trust your gut.
There's a voice there, for areason.
Speaker 2 (03:36):
That's good.
Speaker 1 (03:37):
And it will never stir you wrong.
Speaker 2 (03:39):
It's true, this is very true.
Speaker 1 (03:42):
I feel like the only times that I've really gotten
into trouble right is when Idon't listen to that voice.
So listen to that voice, trustyour gut.
Speaker 2 (03:54):
Very good.
Speaker 1 (03:55):
Yeah, I think that that would be mine.
Speaker 2 (03:58):
That's a good one.
Speaker 1 (03:59):
Yeah, they're all great pieces of advice.
Yeah, for sure.
Speaker 2 (04:02):
Yeah, but it's true, you know your gut never steers
you wrong.
It's true, you know your gutnever steers you wrong.
Speaker 1 (04:05):
Yeah, it's true Main topic.
Speaker 2 (04:11):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 1 (04:11):
Technology today, family dynamics, social media.
But before we get into all ofthat, let's start with a little
mini fun quiz, so to speak.
Oh, who do you, who in yourfamily do you think is the most
tech savvy?
Speaker 2 (04:29):
to date like I, I think, I think me okay.
Speaker 1 (04:34):
So for me it's definitely going to be james
over me.
Absolutely, it knows a heck ofa lot more.
I'm still trying to figure outthe playstation buttons.
I honestly I feel like the kidsthese days just come out like
literally come out of the womb,knowing how to operate an iPad.
It's unbelievable.
(04:54):
How about this?
I'm going to say, out of myimmediate family, I am the least
tech savvy.
Speaker 2 (05:02):
And yeah, you're absolutely right.
I mean, the kids give itanother, you know, five years or
something, and I'm scared.
They're going to be, you know.
Speaker 1 (05:11):
Outwitting us all.
Speaker 2 (05:12):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (05:13):
Absolutely no.
But listen, dad now is into.
Speaker 2 (05:16):
Chat GPT.
Yeah, I already know.
Speaker 1 (05:19):
Okay.
He's like I got the this chat,gpt told me this and I'm just
like what are you doing?
How has it changed, even in thelast 10 years since we've
started, since we've got marriedand had kids?
Speaker 2 (05:33):
essentially, I mean there's no more peace but.
But I mean like for the kidsthere's no more peace.
I haven't necessarilyexperienced it yet because
obviously my kids are stillyoung.
Speaker 1 (05:45):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (05:46):
But, like you know, you hear about these scenarios
where it's like you know, thekids used to be able to come
home and it was like it was off.
Speaker 1 (05:54):
You mean like bullying, cyber bullying, that
kind of thing.
Speaker 2 (05:57):
Yeah, now it's like, whether you're at school,
whether you're home, whetheryou're on vacation, it's like
still happening.
It's just always there, it's anissue.
So I definitely think thatthat's relatively new.
You know what I mean?
Speaker 1 (06:10):
Well, yeah, Like you can't escape it.
That scares me Because to adegree, most everyone can say
that at some point in theirlives, especially as kids, we're
bullied In some way, shape orform, to some degree Okay.
And I'm, I'm one of them and atleast when I came home I got to
(06:35):
just like there was, like yousaid, there was that reprieve.
You know it's like your, yoursafety net, like your security
blanket.
Yeah, you're safe.
I don't know how to yeah likehandle that?
I, I don't know like the onlyway that you could avoid that is
by taking away the thing thatyou fear, so to speak.
(06:58):
Right, it's like not allowingphones or ipad time or all of
that stuff, but like you knowwhat, you know what I mean.
Yeah, it's like.
Speaker 2 (07:05):
I mean specialists say we should be keeping our
kids away from the screens foras long as possible.
Yes, the specialist that was alittle bit more extreme than I
was listening to, which was likeyou know, for example, he would
say like you know, my kids,they didn't touch a screen until
they were 15, you know?
(07:28):
Okay, but how?
Speaker 1 (07:28):
old are they now?
But you know, my point is, youknow, is that and if the kids
are 15 now, what stage wastechnology at when they were
kids?
Speaker 2 (07:37):
Right right.
Speaker 1 (07:38):
Certainly not the stage it's at now.
So like let's compare orangesto oranges.
Speaker 2 (07:43):
Yeah, but I guess he's saying that, you saying
that even if you have kids rightnow, those kids should not have
screen time until at leastthey're into their teens, like
15, 16, etc.
Which I feel is impossible.
Speaker 1 (08:03):
I do, I do too.
Speaker 2 (08:05):
I mean, I feel like that is absolutely impossible,
as much as I like that statement.
Speaker 1 (08:08):
I like that statement , but show me how.
Speaker 2 (08:11):
It's because he talks about the brain.
He talks about what it's doingto the brain, basically talking
about how when they do the neuroscans on the brain, it looks
like the brain is dying, youknow, like cells that would
spark normally are not sparkinganymore, you know, and it's
(08:33):
because of how like.
And then this goes into histheory of depression and anxiety
, and you know, you know.
So it's interesting, it'sinteresting.
Speaker 1 (08:45):
Yeah, and terrifying all at once.
Yeah, so, okay.
So we went from like textingwas a big thing, oh yeah, and do
you remember when it used to be?
Well, texting is taking overthe phone calls, right, like
nobody talks anymore, they onlytext.
Speaker 2 (09:03):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (09:03):
But then FaceTime and video calling has come kind of
had that resurgence.
So that's nice.
I feel like those are all greatways to keep in touch, right,
covid?
Do you know what we did for NewYear's Eve?
(09:25):
Instead of going over to afriend's house like we used to,
we FaceTimed.
We each had our own littlesnacks and champagne and the
whole shebang, and we FaceTimedfor the evening.
Speaker 2 (09:38):
Oh, my goodness.
Speaker 1 (09:40):
So think about it.
Those are kind of nice optionsto have right.
Speaker 2 (09:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (09:45):
To have a connection with somebody or with several
people group chats and stufflike that that you wouldn't
normally have.
When does the line get crossedwhere it's almost like you're
relying on those things and nowyou're not making the effort to
go see somebody in person, right?
(10:07):
You're not traveling to go seethat person anymore because you
well, we've got FaceTime orwe've got this right.
Speaker 2 (10:15):
Yeah, yeah, I think, um, I think I've seen, not that,
like you know, I'm, I'm looking, I can see the whole world or
anything, but I don't know ifit's just me personally or if
I'm seeing it a little like Zoomand you know FaceTime and it's
(10:45):
like, oh my gosh, this is great.
But I feel like all of a sudden, people are like, you know, I
miss connecting, I miss touch, Imiss, you know, like there's
it's almost like people areretracting a little bit.
At least that's what I've felt,you know, a little bit For sure
, there's definitely pros andfelt you know a little bit For
sure.
Speaker 1 (11:05):
There's definitely pros and cons, right Pros and
cons to both the screen time athome, what's recommended versus
what we allowed, I don't know,kind of like I know that I
definitely struggle with that.
It's definitely something thatI do not have a handle on.
Speaker 2 (11:24):
Do you know what I mean With the kids a handle on,
do you like?
With the kids you mean yeah,with the kids same, but even
with myself yeah, same, I don'treally have a a good you know
grasp on it, like I'll just kindof be like whatever I have some
.
I see some parents wherethey're so like boom, boom, boom
.
It's like the kids know and I'mlike fuck, I'm like that's like
really good, you know like thatis very good, that's what I
(11:47):
should do.
You know, but also you know,sometimes I wonder if it's just
a front, because I'm there, I'mjust saying you know.
I'm just saying you know, it'ssomething I think about look at
it even from your ownperspective.
Speaker 1 (12:04):
How many times do you sit down to watch a TV show and
you're also on your phone?
I'll say the one, for sure it'slike you can't concentrate on
one thing, even if it's a funthing.
Speaker 2 (12:20):
You know what?
I agree, and I'm definitely notgoing to bullshit and say I
don't do those things I do.
But you know what I've noticedchanged a lot, but I go to bed
around eight.
I noticed that because of thatI'm doing a lot less screen time
.
Now let me explain though,because I know obviously I'm
(12:40):
sleeping.
but but what I the drug okay,where I would usually get it at
eight to nine, nine to ten, tento eleven, I feel like, because
I've starved the drug, becauseI'm just I'm sleeping, it's
almost like during the day I'venoticed and it's actually only
(13:04):
right now that we're talkingabout it I almost feel like I
notice like there's a little bitmore of a disconnect for me
with the phone now.
I feel like I notice likethere's a little bit more of a
disconnect for me with the phonenow and I'm like, huh, and I'm
like and the only thing I couldpossibly think to relate it to-
Would be that change.
Would be the change that I havefour or five hours every day now
(13:25):
, consistently, where I'm not onthe phone because I'm I'm in
bed, but but normally before Iwould do that, I would, of
course, be in bed or I would be,you know, on my phone or
looking, scrolling, you know,for an hour or this or that or
whatever, and so that is acumulative right.
So I think it's definitelyhelped, you know, and um, and I
(13:47):
wonder if it goes deeper thanthat, maybe that affects how my
mood has been, maybe thataffects how you know, because
I'm doing a lot of self, youknow like I'm working out, I'm
doing.
So, you know, there's a lot ofthings that could be factoring
into how I feel that anyaddiction, whether it's good or
(14:09):
bad, I think if you are starvingit a little bit, I think you
will automatically feel a littlebit better.
Yeah, I just realized that thisis something I do on purpose.
I watch TV on my phone, and thereason why I do that is because
I can't scroll, so I watch likeNetflix on my phone.
Speaker 1 (14:32):
I wonder if that's why I do it.
Speaker 2 (14:33):
And then that way you know like.
Speaker 1 (14:35):
Subconscious thought.
Speaker 2 (14:37):
That way I can't do anything right.
No, that's true, but if you'rewatching it on TV and you have
your phone, well then, you'regoing to like scroll through
stuff.
Speaker 1 (14:45):
It's almost like you have to have, like you have to
have your hands busy withsomething it's habit, I don't
know.
Speaker 2 (14:51):
It's habit, and this is what I mean when you.
I challenge you to do anexperiment and to figure out a
time, a time when you wouldnormally be on your phone.
Speaker 1 (15:06):
Hands down as soon as I wake up.
Speaker 2 (15:08):
Okay.
So I want you to try to do thesame thing when you wake up for
an hour try even just one hourwhere you're not going to check
that phone.
You're not going to do anything.
And I'm telling you, if you getthat consistently going and
then you start adding a bit moretime, see what it does to you.
You know, either you're goingto want to kill me or you're
(15:32):
going to notice something.
Speaker 1 (15:34):
No, you know what Challenge accepted.
I'm going to try that because Ifind that that's.
There's scientific proof, Josh,that that kind of thing fucks
with your brain in many ways.
Speaker 2 (15:48):
Do you ever get and you know I'm not judging,
judging anyone, including on myside okay, okay.
So if you're listening, relax,okay.
But do you ever get the thescenario where it's like
person's on the phone and likeyou walk in you're like hey,
how's it going?
It's like hey, like maybethey'll give you the eye contact
(16:08):
, but then it's like right backto the phone.
That kind of you know it.
Just it bothers me a little bitand it's that obsession.
So like I come in and the kids,you know, are like on their
iPad and, like you know, theylift their eyes, you know, to,
oh, hey, daddy, you know likethey're happy, but then it's
like right back to the iPad andlike I don't know, for me it's
(16:31):
like, eh, you know if it washomework or okay, but it's like
you know, is it that important?
Like you can't just put downyour, your phone for five
seconds.
Speaker 1 (16:41):
I I'm guilty of that for sure.
Speaker 2 (16:43):
Yeah, absolutely.
And and don't get me wrong, Ibet you, as I'm saying it,
there's probably littleflashbacks happening in my head
where I probably do it.
You know what I mean?
No, of course.
Speaker 1 (16:55):
Like I mean, james and I have had conversations
where we're both on our phoneand we're talking to each other
at the same time.
Speaker 2 (17:01):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (17:01):
Like yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (17:06):
You know, it's just, it's completely taken over.
Speaker 1 (17:08):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (17:09):
And I.
Speaker 1 (17:10):
I agree.
I truly believe in the art oflooking somebody in the eye is
dying oh yeah when lookingsomebody in the eye while
speaking yeah is dying, it is isabsolutely dying.
Speaker 2 (17:23):
Yeah, what is this tech?
Speaker 1 (17:25):
free family time well , we you know what, I can't even
say that with a straight facehave Friday family fun day.
We might sit down and watch amovie, and I make sure that the
kids don't have the iPads, butI'm still there with my fucking
phone.
I mean, come on, I'm just asbad.
Speaker 2 (17:44):
We don't even really have a non For it to be a
non-tech moment.
It would be something likewe're at ISO or we're at
Cineplex.
I agree that's the only waythat it will be complete.
But if it has something to dowith being at home, chances are
(18:06):
there's going to be some techsomewhere, and I embrace it in
many ways.
I just feel like there's adifference from being obsessed
and using it as a tool.
Speaker 1 (18:24):
I have two points.
The first point was going to beit feels like it could be
obsession, but I actually don'tthink that's the right word.
I feel like it's a mindlessactivity.
It's a mindless habit thatsometimes you don't even know
(18:45):
you're doing it.
Obsession feels intentional,almost.
Speaker 2 (18:49):
Do you know what I mean?
So then that would sound likeaddiction.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (18:55):
Yes, yeah, exactly Like a mindless, like it's an
addiction.
Yeah Well, you're an addict.
Absolutely yes, oh, for sure.
Speaker 2 (19:04):
Same.
Speaker 1 (19:05):
I mean.
Speaker 2 (19:06):
I don't know how many people are not addicts in that
category.
Speaker 1 (19:09):
Yeah, there you go Right.
Second point Second point isone of the things that I've
tried.
You're going to laugh at mewhen I say this is leaving my
phone out of distance to me.
Speaker 2 (19:23):
That's not crazy.
Speaker 1 (19:23):
So if I'm sitting on the sofa.
I'm leaving my phone like 10feet away, right, so that I can
focus on whatever.
So I'm being intentional aboutit Okay, partly because I'm too
lazy to get up and go walk forit.
Speaker 2 (19:39):
It's hard, what's the first thing that you check,
like, what's the first thingthat you look at when you look
at?
Speaker 1 (19:45):
What do you think it's social media?
Speaker 2 (19:48):
So like Facebook and stuff.
Speaker 1 (19:50):
Yeah.
Like scrolling, yes, scrolling,aimless scrolling, and for me
it's Insta.
That's my fucking cocaine.
Speaker 2 (20:00):
Yeah, it's ridiculous .
Speaker 1 (20:04):
I will literally have just checked it to death.
Speaker 2 (20:07):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (20:07):
And then I'll go back and check it again.
Speaker 2 (20:09):
Yeah, yeah, you see, I'm telling you.
I used to be just the same and,believe it or not, I'm not very
much like that anymore and I'mconvinced it's because I'm
getting four or five hours of nophone time where normally I
would be.
Speaker 1 (20:29):
It's because you've realized you've narrowed it down
to where your scrolling timewas these hours where you would
just be relaxing, chilling,these hours where you would just
be relaxing, chilling, butbecause your habits have changed
in terms of sleep and workingout and all of that stuff.
It's naturally progressed towhere those times are now not
(20:52):
there for you anymore.
Speaker 2 (20:54):
So you know, I think it's about trying to break the
habit, the addiction.
If you want Some people don'twant to, that's fine.
Speaker 1 (21:03):
I think there's a time and a place for it.
Speaker 2 (21:05):
That's where.
Speaker 1 (21:06):
I struggle with it.
I think it's okay to justscroll and watch a couple of
YouTube videos or go onInstagram and scroll for a
couple of minutes, but it's whenyou're sitting there for like
hours and like life is passingyou by, that's when I feel like,
okay, you need to get a hold ofthis.
(21:26):
Yeah, nonsense, but we can wecan argue with that.
Speaker 2 (21:29):
You know, like, don't be too hard on yourself.
We.
Someone you know, I don't know,painting a hobby.
Uh, you know, hours is passingthem by.
Someone who plays a video game.
Hours is passing them by.
Speaker 1 (21:47):
Yeah, but I think it goes back to what I was kind of
talking about in the lastepisode about self-care and
self-indulgence.
It's like now it's not a bad,like painting a picture for
hours is a much.
You're targeting areas of yourbrain and your spirit that are
(22:11):
actually uplifting you andgiving you something, as opposed
to these activities that aremindless.
That are actually taking away.
Speaker 2 (22:22):
Like doom scrolling.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (22:24):
You know what I?
Speaker 2 (22:25):
mean yeah, no, that makes sense yeah that's true,
that's true.
Really, it just reallyenlightened me a little bit yeah
even playing a video game, Iguess, technically, or you're
sparking cognitive, you know yessparking cognitive, you know,
(22:48):
but again playing a video game,or even scrolling, in and of
itself is not.
Speaker 1 (22:50):
Oh my God, how dare you?
You know you're a horriblehuman being for doing stuff like
that.
No, it has its moment, butthat's it.
Let it have its moment a smallmoment in time, and then move on
to other productive things.
You know what I mean.
Don't let it take over.
That, for me, is where there'sa fine line that I'm still
(23:11):
trying to navigate.
Speaker 2 (23:13):
Makes sense.
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (23:15):
Yeah, I by no means have it all figured out.
And when you don't have itfigured out as an individual,
how the fuck, Josh, am Isupposed to teach other people
about it?
Ie kids, my children.
How am I supposed to talk tothem and tell them with a
straight face hey, you reallyneed to be, you know?
Speaker 2 (23:34):
I understand where you're coming from.
It's like you know if I'm, ifI'm smoking cigarettes and I'm
like, hey, don't smoke.
Speaker 1 (23:41):
It's bad for you.
Do what I say and not as I do.
Speaker 2 (23:44):
Yeah, you know, like like I get that, don't get me
wrong, but it's like you know,you know, okay, you come home
like you have homework, you havethis to do, you have that to do
.
It's like I'm I'm, I'm done myhomework.
You know what I mean.
Like I'm done that stuff.
Dad, why are you on the phonethen?
If I can't go on the phone?
Well, because myresponsibilities are done right
(24:05):
now.
True, you know, like you haveyour responsibilities.
Speaker 1 (24:09):
Here's the thing bringing up like, specifically
at the dinner table.
We actually, for dinners only,have made it tech-free.
Speaker 2 (24:17):
Oh, I like that.
Good for you.
Speaker 1 (24:19):
And we've actually been really good at keeping it
tech-free.
Speaker 2 (24:24):
Well, what's great about that is that you can
actually have conversations.
That's the thing.
Speaker 1 (24:30):
Do you know what I mean?
It's like I've always loved,like growing up, that's what we
did.
We sat at the table with momand dad, we discussed our day
and, even if we didn't have muchto say and we ate in silence
sometimes right, it was justthat vibe.
Speaker 2 (24:47):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (24:48):
And I kind of love that.
I really miss that right, thatit's like simpler times, you
know, when you weren't so easilydistracted by like everything.
And you know we've talked aboutthis, being bored and having
imagination, all those things,right, yeah, it's true.
And so James and I said, let's,let's do this.
You know, it's that one time.
(25:08):
Now we've tried overhauling alot of other times, like you
know a lot of other things andbringing in rules, and some
stick, some don't, but this hasbeen something that's stuck and
I'm really liking that.
Now you mentioned about work.
Because you own your ownbusiness, you're self-made,
(25:31):
self-employed.
Do you find it hard to havethat line, or do?
Speaker 2 (25:44):
you have a line at all when it comes to business
and tech and family time?
And and all of that I have onlyrecently started to really
change that.
Before, work was number one.
It was the most important thingVersus now.
I could give a fuck, really,you know, about the job.
(26:05):
I love what I do, always will,but it's not the same thing at
all, you know.
Speaker 1 (26:11):
So your mindset has changed, then my mindset has
completely changed, you know,and is this around the same time
as when?
Like habits, like your sleepinghabits, all of that.
So it's kind of all coincides,it all coincides.
Speaker 2 (26:24):
It all coincides, you know, and now I really make
sure that I have time to cook to, you know, to eat, to spend
time with the kids, to justreally be involved and be there,
compared to just never beingthere.
Speaker 1 (26:45):
So would you say it's priorities, then it's a
priority shift.
Speaker 2 (26:48):
Yeah, priority shift for sure, and just realizing
that, no matter how much money Imake, I'll always need more
money.
Speaker 1 (26:59):
Yeah, that's true.
Speaker 2 (27:00):
I'm constantly never happy, you know.
Speaker 1 (27:04):
You're always striving for that next thing,
yeah, and don't get me wrong.
Speaker 2 (27:07):
This is really the power of an entrepreneur Like.
That's how entrepreneurs haveto be, to a degree.
Speaker 1 (27:15):
Yeah, well, that's what I'm saying.
And when?
Speaker 2 (27:16):
they're not and they get into a comfortable state.
That's when things go sayingand when they're not and they
get into a comfortable state,that's when things go bad.
But I don't know, I guess I'mjust.
I'm at the age now where mybrain has just shifted and it's
not so much, it's not soimportant to me anymore.
Okay, those things exactly.
Speaker 1 (27:36):
I could kind of understand how that would be,
especially for entrepreneurs.
In my head anyway, I think moreso than the nine to fivers, so
to speak like myself that it's adifferent mindset.
Like, if I don't answer thattext or that call or that email,
(27:57):
that could be potentialbusiness that I'm losing, right
yeah?
What about sharing things aboutour kids on social media?
How do you feel about that?
Speaker 2 (28:11):
I'm a little numb to it.
I know some people are very,you know like they have their
opinions.
Yeah, yeah, yeah you know, likethey have their opinions.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, you know I'llbe doing a workout and Jet
wants to.
You know, join me and and wehave a picture together and I
post it on my Instagram.
Or you know, versus, like, Ihave some people where, uh, they
(28:31):
post a picture and, like, theface is covered.
Yeah, like a little heart emojior something like that.
Yeah, you know which is cool.
You know I get it.
Yeah, I would say I'm a littlebit more relaxed in that regard.
Speaker 1 (28:47):
Do you have two, let's say, for example,
instagram or even Facebook?
Do you have two separateaccounts?
Yeah, like your personal oneversus your business?
Yeah, so do you have settingson your personal account where
it's like only friends can seeyour pictures and stuff like
that?
Speaker 2 (29:03):
Or is it more public For Facebook?
Yes, for Instagram it's morepublic.
Speaker 1 (29:07):
It's more public.
Okay, I'm always like scrollingbut I'm never posting.
Do you know what I mean?
So, like everyone, maybe twicea year I'll post like something
with the kids, and when I do I'mnot too worried about it
because my settings are likepretty strong so to speak and
like only friends can see it andit's not available for public
(29:29):
view and blah, blah, blah.
The whole argument is theydon't get to make that decision
for themselves, right?
right and so until they can makethat decision for themselves,
they're gonna like hide them orcover their faces or whatever.
But then why bother posting atall?
Speaker 2 (29:45):
Well, yeah.
Speaker 1 (29:47):
In my that's.
I'm just kind of like, okay, I,I, I respect and understand
that argument, but then whybother putting it up at all?
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (29:54):
And, and to me I guess it's not even a big deal,
you know, so like if they getolder and they're like dad.
I'm so upset that I'm on youknow your Instagram like my baby
pictures, then, okay, I'lldelete them.
Speaker 1 (30:06):
Yeah, if you could get rid of one piece of tech
from your house, what would itbe, and why?
Speaker 2 (30:16):
I know it's going to sound crazy, but if I could get
rid of one piece of tech, Ithink I would probably get rid
of the iPads.
Yeah yeah, believe it or not,yeah, see.
Speaker 1 (30:29):
So here's the thing Do they each have their own iPad
?
Speaker 2 (30:32):
Yeah, okay.
But also there's a doublestandard to that, and the double
standard is like it's nice when, like, I need to get something
done and instead of them beingall over the place, they're
quietly on the couch on theiriPads and I'm like, okay, good.
They're they're doing theirthing.
Speaker 1 (30:50):
It's convenient when it's convenient for us.
It's good for them to have theiPad when it's convenient for us
.
Speaker 2 (30:58):
So true.
Speaker 1 (30:58):
And it's so true, I would do the same thing.
To be honest, the iPads, videogames and and all of that stuff.
It's not as predominant in ourhouse.
I mean, they love that, butit's not an everyday law.
Speaker 2 (31:13):
Yeah, you know yeah.
Speaker 1 (31:15):
Yeah exactly.
But then you get what.
What would happen?
You get rid of the iPads, andwhat then?
Now, all of a sudden, videogames would become?
Speaker 2 (31:21):
Probably.
Speaker 1 (31:21):
Probably right.
So I think you're fucked, nomatter what.
Speaker 2 (31:25):
Yeah, you're right, you're right.
Speaker 1 (31:27):
All right.
Well, that's it for today'sepisode.
Let us know Do you think socialmedia is helping or hurting
family life?
And don't forget to answer ourwhat if question in the comments
or message us on Instagram.
Make sure to follow us,subscribe and share the podcast
at brothersisterwhatever, and,as always we'll see you next
(31:48):
time on Brother, Sister,Whatever.
Speaker 2 (31:50):
Bye guys, Bye.
Welcome back to Brother, Sister.
Whatever, I'm Lisa and I'm Josh, and this is the podcast where
we talk about family life andall of the random things that
come with it, Some of it deep,some of it funny, but all of
it's real.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
Today we're diving into a big one Technology,
social media versus family life.
Is social media bringing uscloser together or is it just
making us more distracted?
Speaker 1 (00:24):
First, we've got our weekly what if?
Speaker 2 (00:26):
question what if you could magically give your kids
one piece of wisdom they'llcarry with them forever?
What would you choose and whythis is a good one?
Speaker 1 (00:42):
yeah, me or you.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
You can start if you have one I think I would give
two different pieces of advicewhy like to each kid?
You mean like one for each kidyeah, and I think I would do
that just because, like you,know they're well, gender, sure,
but like they're different.
So it's like I can kind of seethe paths already, you know.
Yeah, so it's like I would kindof see the paths, already.
You know yeah, so it's like Iwould kind of give.
Speaker 1 (01:06):
I will allow this.
Speaker 2 (01:09):
So I would say for Jet, my son, if I could give him
one piece of wisdom.
There's so many, there's somany things they need to know.
Speaker 1 (01:20):
You know yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:21):
For him it would probably be like real, real
simple.
You know, do what you love, dosomething that you love, really
stick to the niche or the thingthat that you just really enjoy
and, and you know, thrive withthat.
Make a business out of it.
Like you know, like, build thathe doesn't need to think about
(01:44):
falling into the standard normof, like okay, got to go to
university and I got to, youknow, I got to become this or I
got to, it's got to bemeaningful.
Or you know, I want him to knowthat, like he has that
entrepreneurial spirit and solike I need him to focus on the
thing that's going to bring himthe most joy.
(02:06):
For Jet, that's it.
And then Fallon.
I think Fallon is going to kindof go into that mold.
I just have a feeling.
So, even though you know theadvice is still sound, you can
do what you love, right?
I mean, we try to always.
I think for her it's going to besomething along the lines of
(02:27):
just, you know, watch your back.
You know, I think it would haveto do with trust.
You know, like it would be likekeep your friends close and
your enemies closer, kind ofthing.
You know, like she's just sosensitive.
You know which I love about her.
I'm happy that she's like that,that way that she she is like
that.
(02:48):
But I would say that, you know,don't be like me in the sense
of I do good in the world,shouldn't you know?
Shouldn't people be nice to me,you know, or I'm nice to this
person, why isn't this personnice to me?
I don't get that, you know like.
So I think she needs tounderstand that the world
doesn't work like that.
(03:08):
So that would be my piece ofadvice that the world doesn't
work like this.
Be nice, be kind, expectnothing and just be careful who
you trust.
Speaker 1 (03:22):
Those are very good.
I would have one piece ofadvice for all three of my kids
which would be trust your gut.
There's a voice there, for areason.
Speaker 2 (03:36):
That's good.
Speaker 1 (03:37):
And it will never stir you wrong.
Speaker 2 (03:39):
It's true, this is very true.
Speaker 1 (03:42):
I feel like the only times that I've really gotten
into trouble right is when Idon't listen to that voice.
So listen to that voice, trustyour gut.
Speaker 2 (03:54):
Very good.
Speaker 1 (03:55):
Yeah, I think that that would be mine.
Speaker 2 (03:58):
That's a good one.
Speaker 1 (03:59):
Yeah, they're all great pieces of advice.
Yeah, for sure.
Speaker 2 (04:02):
Yeah, but it's true, you know your gut never steers
you wrong.
It's true, you know your gutnever steers you wrong.
Speaker 1 (04:05):
Yeah, it's true Main topic.
Speaker 2 (04:11):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 1 (04:11):
Technology today, family dynamics, social media.
But before we get into all ofthat, let's start with a little
mini fun quiz, so to speak.
Oh, who do you, who in yourfamily do you think is the most
tech savvy?
Speaker 2 (04:29):
to date like I, I think, I think me okay.
Speaker 1 (04:34):
So for me it's definitely going to be james
over me.
Absolutely, it knows a heck ofa lot more.
I'm still trying to figure outthe playstation buttons.
I honestly I feel like the kidsthese days just come out like
literally come out of the womb,knowing how to operate an iPad.
It's unbelievable.
(04:54):
How about this?
I'm going to say, out of myimmediate family, I am the least
tech savvy.
Speaker 2 (05:02):
And yeah, you're absolutely right.
I mean, the kids give itanother, you know, five years or
something, and I'm scared.
They're going to be, you know.
Speaker 1 (05:11):
Outwitting us all.
Speaker 2 (05:12):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (05:13):
Absolutely no.
But listen, dad now is into.
Speaker 2 (05:16):
Chat GPT.
Yeah, I already know.
Speaker 1 (05:19):
Okay.
He's like I got the this chat,gpt told me this and I'm just
like what are you doing?
How has it changed, even in thelast 10 years since we've
started, since we've got marriedand had kids?
Speaker 2 (05:33):
essentially, I mean there's no more peace but.
But I mean like for the kidsthere's no more peace.
I haven't necessarilyexperienced it yet because
obviously my kids are stillyoung.
Speaker 1 (05:45):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (05:46):
But, like you know, you hear about these scenarios
where it's like you know, thekids used to be able to come
home and it was like it was off.
Speaker 1 (05:54):
You mean like bullying, cyber bullying, that
kind of thing.
Speaker 2 (05:57):
Yeah, now it's like, whether you're at school,
whether you're home, whetheryou're on vacation, it's like
still happening.
It's just always there, it's anissue.
So I definitely think thatthat's relatively new.
You know what I mean?
Speaker 1 (06:10):
Well, yeah, Like you can't escape it.
That scares me Because to adegree, most everyone can say
that at some point in theirlives, especially as kids, we're
bullied In some way, shape orform, to some degree Okay.
And I'm, I'm one of them and atleast when I came home I got to
(06:35):
just like there was, like yousaid, there was that reprieve.
You know it's like your, yoursafety net, like your security
blanket.
Yeah, you're safe.
I don't know how to yeah likehandle that?
I, I don't know like the onlyway that you could avoid that is
by taking away the thing thatyou fear, so to speak.
(06:58):
Right, it's like not allowingphones or ipad time or all of
that stuff, but like you knowwhat, you know what I mean.
Yeah, it's like.
Speaker 2 (07:05):
I mean specialists say we should be keeping our
kids away from the screens foras long as possible.
Yes, the specialist that was alittle bit more extreme than I
was listening to, which was likeyou know, for example, he would
say like you know, my kids,they didn't touch a screen until
they were 15, you know?
(07:28):
Okay, but how?
Speaker 1 (07:28):
old are they now?
But you know, my point is, youknow, is that and if the kids
are 15 now, what stage wastechnology at when they were
kids?
Speaker 2 (07:37):
Right right.
Speaker 1 (07:38):
Certainly not the stage it's at now.
So like let's compare orangesto oranges.
Speaker 2 (07:43):
Yeah, but I guess he's saying that, you saying
that even if you have kids rightnow, those kids should not have
screen time until at leastthey're into their teens, like
15, 16, etc.
Which I feel is impossible.
Speaker 1 (08:03):
I do, I do too.
Speaker 2 (08:05):
I mean, I feel like that is absolutely impossible,
as much as I like that statement.
Speaker 1 (08:08):
I like that statement , but show me how.
Speaker 2 (08:11):
It's because he talks about the brain.
He talks about what it's doingto the brain, basically talking
about how when they do the neuroscans on the brain, it looks
like the brain is dying, youknow, like cells that would
spark normally are not sparkinganymore, you know, and it's
(08:33):
because of how like.
And then this goes into histheory of depression and anxiety
, and you know, you know.
So it's interesting, it'sinteresting.
Speaker 1 (08:45):
Yeah, and terrifying all at once.
Yeah, so, okay.
So we went from like textingwas a big thing, oh yeah, and do
you remember when it used to be?
Well, texting is taking overthe phone calls, right, like
nobody talks anymore, they onlytext.
Speaker 2 (09:03):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (09:03):
But then FaceTime and video calling has come kind of
had that resurgence.
So that's nice.
I feel like those are all greatways to keep in touch, right,
covid?
Do you know what we did for NewYear's Eve?
(09:25):
Instead of going over to afriend's house like we used to,
we FaceTimed.
We each had our own littlesnacks and champagne and the
whole shebang, and we FaceTimedfor the evening.
Speaker 2 (09:38):
Oh, my goodness.
Speaker 1 (09:40):
So think about it.
Those are kind of nice optionsto have right.
Speaker 2 (09:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (09:45):
To have a connection with somebody or with several
people group chats and stufflike that that you wouldn't
normally have.
When does the line get crossedwhere it's almost like you're
relying on those things and nowyou're not making the effort to
go see somebody in person, right?
(10:07):
You're not traveling to go seethat person anymore because you
well, we've got FaceTime orwe've got this right.
Speaker 2 (10:15):
Yeah, yeah, I think, um, I think I've seen, not that,
like you know, I'm, I'm looking, I can see the whole world or
anything, but I don't know ifit's just me personally or if
I'm seeing it a little like Zoomand you know FaceTime and it's
(10:45):
like, oh my gosh, this is great.
But I feel like all of a sudden, people are like, you know, I
miss connecting, I miss touch, Imiss, you know, like there's
it's almost like people areretracting a little bit.
At least that's what I've felt,you know, a little bit For sure
, there's definitely pros andfelt you know a little bit For
sure.
Speaker 1 (11:05):
There's definitely pros and cons, right Pros and
cons to both the screen time athome, what's recommended versus
what we allowed, I don't know,kind of like I know that I
definitely struggle with that.
It's definitely something thatI do not have a handle on.
Speaker 2 (11:24):
Do you know what I mean With the kids a handle on,
do you like?
With the kids you mean yeah,with the kids same, but even
with myself yeah, same, I don'treally have a a good you know
grasp on it, like I'll just kindof be like whatever I have some
.
I see some parents wherethey're so like boom, boom, boom
.
It's like the kids know and I'mlike fuck, I'm like that's like
really good, you know like thatis very good, that's what I
(11:47):
should do.
You know, but also you know,sometimes I wonder if it's just
a front, because I'm there, I'mjust saying you know.
I'm just saying you know, it'ssomething I think about look at
it even from your ownperspective.
Speaker 1 (12:04):
How many times do you sit down to watch a TV show and
you're also on your phone?
I'll say the one, for sure it'slike you can't concentrate on
one thing, even if it's a funthing.
Speaker 2 (12:20):
You know what?
I agree, and I'm definitely notgoing to bullshit and say I
don't do those things I do.
But you know what I've noticedchanged a lot, but I go to bed
around eight.
I noticed that because of thatI'm doing a lot less screen time
.
Now let me explain though,because I know obviously I'm
(12:40):
sleeping.
but but what I the drug okay,where I would usually get it at
eight to nine, nine to ten, tento eleven, I feel like, because
I've starved the drug, becauseI'm just I'm sleeping, it's
almost like during the day I'venoticed and it's actually only
(13:04):
right now that we're talkingabout it I almost feel like I
notice like there's a little bitmore of a disconnect for me
with the phone now.
I feel like I notice likethere's a little bit more of a
disconnect for me with the phonenow and I'm like, huh, and I'm
like and the only thing I couldpossibly think to relate it to-
Would be that change.
Would be the change that I havefour or five hours every day now
(13:25):
, consistently, where I'm not onthe phone because I'm I'm in
bed, but but normally before Iwould do that, I would, of
course, be in bed or I would be,you know, on my phone or
looking, scrolling, you know,for an hour or this or that or
whatever, and so that is acumulative right.
So I think it's definitelyhelped, you know, and um, and I
(13:47):
wonder if it goes deeper thanthat, maybe that affects how my
mood has been, maybe thataffects how you know, because
I'm doing a lot of self, youknow like I'm working out, I'm
doing.
So, you know, there's a lot ofthings that could be factoring
into how I feel that anyaddiction, whether it's good or
(14:09):
bad, I think if you are starvingit a little bit, I think you
will automatically feel a littlebit better.
Yeah, I just realized that thisis something I do on purpose.
I watch TV on my phone, and thereason why I do that is because
I can't scroll, so I watch likeNetflix on my phone.
Speaker 1 (14:32):
I wonder if that's why I do it.
Speaker 2 (14:33):
And then that way you know like.
Speaker 1 (14:35):
Subconscious thought.
Speaker 2 (14:37):
That way I can't do anything right.
No, that's true, but if you'rewatching it on TV and you have
your phone, well then, you'regoing to like scroll through
stuff.
Speaker 1 (14:45):
It's almost like you have to have, like you have to
have your hands busy withsomething it's habit, I don't
know.
Speaker 2 (14:51):
It's habit, and this is what I mean when you.
I challenge you to do anexperiment and to figure out a
time, a time when you wouldnormally be on your phone.
Speaker 1 (15:06):
Hands down as soon as I wake up.
Speaker 2 (15:08):
Okay.
So I want you to try to do thesame thing when you wake up for
an hour try even just one hourwhere you're not going to check
that phone.
You're not going to do anything.
And I'm telling you, if you getthat consistently going and
then you start adding a bit moretime, see what it does to you.
You know, either you're goingto want to kill me or you're
(15:32):
going to notice something.
Speaker 1 (15:34):
No, you know what Challenge accepted.
I'm going to try that because Ifind that that's.
There's scientific proof, Josh,that that kind of thing fucks
with your brain in many ways.
Speaker 2 (15:48):
Do you ever get and you know I'm not judging,
judging anyone, including on myside okay, okay.
So if you're listening, relax,okay.
But do you ever get the thescenario where it's like
person's on the phone and likeyou walk in you're like hey,
how's it going?
It's like hey, like maybethey'll give you the eye contact
(16:08):
, but then it's like right backto the phone.
That kind of you know it.
Just it bothers me a little bitand it's that obsession.
So like I come in and the kids,you know, are like on their
iPad and, like you know, theylift their eyes, you know, to,
oh, hey, daddy, you know likethey're happy, but then it's
like right back to the iPad andlike I don't know, for me it's
(16:31):
like, eh, you know if it washomework or okay, but it's like
you know, is it that important?
Like you can't just put downyour, your phone for five
seconds.
Speaker 1 (16:41):
I I'm guilty of that for sure.
Speaker 2 (16:43):
Yeah, absolutely.
And and don't get me wrong, Ibet you, as I'm saying it,
there's probably littleflashbacks happening in my head
where I probably do it.
You know what I mean?
No, of course.
Speaker 1 (16:55):
Like I mean, james and I have had conversations
where we're both on our phoneand we're talking to each other
at the same time.
Speaker 2 (17:01):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (17:01):
Like yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (17:06):
You know, it's just, it's completely taken over.
Speaker 1 (17:08):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (17:09):
And I.
Speaker 1 (17:10):
I agree.
I truly believe in the art oflooking somebody in the eye is
dying oh yeah when lookingsomebody in the eye while
speaking yeah is dying, it is isabsolutely dying.
Speaker 2 (17:23):
Yeah, what is this tech?
Speaker 1 (17:25):
free family time well , we you know what, I can't even
say that with a straight facehave Friday family fun day.
We might sit down and watch amovie, and I make sure that the
kids don't have the iPads, butI'm still there with my fucking
phone.
I mean, come on, I'm just asbad.
Speaker 2 (17:44):
We don't even really have a non For it to be a
non-tech moment.
It would be something likewe're at ISO or we're at
Cineplex.
I agree that's the only waythat it will be complete.
But if it has something to dowith being at home, chances are
(18:06):
there's going to be some techsomewhere, and I embrace it in
many ways.
I just feel like there's adifference from being obsessed
and using it as a tool.
Speaker 1 (18:24):
I have two points.
The first point was going to beit feels like it could be
obsession, but I actually don'tthink that's the right word.
I feel like it's a mindlessactivity.
It's a mindless habit thatsometimes you don't even know
(18:45):
you're doing it.
Obsession feels intentional,almost.
Speaker 2 (18:49):
Do you know what I mean?
So then that would sound likeaddiction.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (18:55):
Yes, yeah, exactly Like a mindless, like it's an
addiction.
Yeah Well, you're an addict.
Absolutely yes, oh, for sure.
Speaker 2 (19:04):
Same.
Speaker 1 (19:05):
I mean.
Speaker 2 (19:06):
I don't know how many people are not addicts in that
category.
Speaker 1 (19:09):
Yeah, there you go Right.
Second point Second point isone of the things that I've
tried.
You're going to laugh at mewhen I say this is leaving my
phone out of distance to me.
Speaker 2 (19:23):
That's not crazy.
Speaker 1 (19:23):
So if I'm sitting on the sofa.
I'm leaving my phone like 10feet away, right, so that I can
focus on whatever.
So I'm being intentional aboutit Okay, partly because I'm too
lazy to get up and go walk forit.
Speaker 2 (19:39):
It's hard, what's the first thing that you check,
like, what's the first thingthat you look at when you look
at?
Speaker 1 (19:45):
What do you think it's social media?
Speaker 2 (19:48):
So like Facebook and stuff.
Speaker 1 (19:50):
Yeah.
Like scrolling, yes, scrolling,aimless scrolling, and for me
it's Insta.
That's my fucking cocaine.
Speaker 2 (20:00):
Yeah, it's ridiculous .
Speaker 1 (20:04):
I will literally have just checked it to death.
Speaker 2 (20:07):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (20:07):
And then I'll go back and check it again.
Speaker 2 (20:09):
Yeah, yeah, you see, I'm telling you.
I used to be just the same and,believe it or not, I'm not very
much like that anymore and I'mconvinced it's because I'm
getting four or five hours of nophone time where normally I
would be.
Speaker 1 (20:29):
It's because you've realized you've narrowed it down
to where your scrolling timewas these hours where you would
just be relaxing, chilling,these hours where you would just
be relaxing, chilling, butbecause your habits have changed
in terms of sleep and workingout and all of that stuff.
It's naturally progressed towhere those times are now not
(20:52):
there for you anymore.
Speaker 2 (20:54):
So you know, I think it's about trying to break the
habit, the addiction.
If you want Some people don'twant to, that's fine.
Speaker 1 (21:03):
I think there's a time and a place for it.
Speaker 2 (21:05):
That's where.
Speaker 1 (21:06):
I struggle with it.
I think it's okay to justscroll and watch a couple of
YouTube videos or go onInstagram and scroll for a
couple of minutes, but it's whenyou're sitting there for like
hours and like life is passingyou by, that's when I feel like,
okay, you need to get a hold ofthis.
(21:26):
Yeah, nonsense, but we can wecan argue with that.
Speaker 2 (21:29):
You know, like, don't be too hard on yourself.
We.
Someone you know, I don't know,painting a hobby.
Uh, you know, hours is passingthem by.
Someone who plays a video game.
Hours is passing them by.
Speaker 1 (21:47):
Yeah, but I think it goes back to what I was kind of
talking about in the lastepisode about self-care and
self-indulgence.
It's like now it's not a bad,like painting a picture for
hours is a much.
You're targeting areas of yourbrain and your spirit that are
(22:11):
actually uplifting you andgiving you something, as opposed
to these activities that aremindless.
That are actually taking away.
Speaker 2 (22:22):
Like doom scrolling.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (22:24):
You know what I?
Speaker 2 (22:25):
mean yeah, no, that makes sense yeah that's true,
that's true.
Really, it just reallyenlightened me a little bit yeah
even playing a video game, Iguess, technically, or you're
sparking cognitive, you know yessparking cognitive, you know,
(22:48):
but again playing a video game,or even scrolling, in and of
itself is not.
Speaker 1 (22:50):
Oh my God, how dare you?
You know you're a horriblehuman being for doing stuff like
that.
No, it has its moment, butthat's it.
Let it have its moment a smallmoment in time, and then move on
to other productive things.
You know what I mean.
Don't let it take over.
That, for me, is where there'sa fine line that I'm still
(23:11):
trying to navigate.
Speaker 2 (23:13):
Makes sense.
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (23:15):
Yeah, I by no means have it all figured out.
And when you don't have itfigured out as an individual,
how the fuck, Josh, am Isupposed to teach other people
about it?
Ie kids, my children.
How am I supposed to talk tothem and tell them with a
straight face hey, you reallyneed to be, you know?
Speaker 2 (23:34):
I understand where you're coming from.
It's like you know if I'm, ifI'm smoking cigarettes and I'm
like, hey, don't smoke.
Speaker 1 (23:41):
It's bad for you.
Do what I say and not as I do.
Speaker 2 (23:44):
Yeah, you know, like like I get that, don't get me
wrong, but it's like you know,you know, okay, you come home
like you have homework, you havethis to do, you have that to do
.
It's like I'm I'm, I'm done myhomework.
You know what I mean.
Like I'm done that stuff.
Dad, why are you on the phonethen?
If I can't go on the phone?
Well, because myresponsibilities are done right
(24:05):
now.
True, you know, like you haveyour responsibilities.
Speaker 1 (24:09):
Here's the thing bringing up like, specifically
at the dinner table.
We actually, for dinners only,have made it tech-free.
Speaker 2 (24:17):
Oh, I like that.
Good for you.
Speaker 1 (24:19):
And we've actually been really good at keeping it
tech-free.
Speaker 2 (24:24):
Well, what's great about that is that you can
actually have conversations.
That's the thing.
Speaker 1 (24:30):
Do you know what I mean?
It's like I've always loved,like growing up, that's what we
did.
We sat at the table with momand dad, we discussed our day
and, even if we didn't have muchto say and we ate in silence
sometimes right, it was justthat vibe.
Speaker 2 (24:47):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (24:48):
And I kind of love that.
I really miss that right, thatit's like simpler times, you
know, when you weren't so easilydistracted by like everything.
And you know we've talked aboutthis, being bored and having
imagination, all those things,right, yeah, it's true.
And so James and I said, let's,let's do this.
You know, it's that one time.
(25:08):
Now we've tried overhauling alot of other times, like you
know a lot of other things andbringing in rules, and some
stick, some don't, but this hasbeen something that's stuck and
I'm really liking that.
Now you mentioned about work.
Because you own your ownbusiness, you're self-made,
(25:31):
self-employed.
Do you find it hard to havethat line, or do?
Speaker 2 (25:44):
you have a line at all when it comes to business
and tech and family time?
And and all of that I have onlyrecently started to really
change that.
Before, work was number one.
It was the most important thingVersus now.
I could give a fuck, really,you know, about the job.
(26:05):
I love what I do, always will,but it's not the same thing at
all, you know.
Speaker 1 (26:11):
So your mindset has changed, then my mindset has
completely changed, you know,and is this around the same time
as when?
Like habits, like your sleepinghabits, all of that.
So it's kind of all coincides,it all coincides.
Speaker 2 (26:24):
It all coincides, you know, and now I really make
sure that I have time to cook to, you know, to eat, to spend
time with the kids, to justreally be involved and be there,
compared to just never beingthere.
Speaker 1 (26:45):
So would you say it's priorities, then it's a
priority shift.
Speaker 2 (26:48):
Yeah, priority shift for sure, and just realizing
that, no matter how much money Imake, I'll always need more
money.
Speaker 1 (26:59):
Yeah, that's true.
Speaker 2 (27:00):
I'm constantly never happy, you know.
Speaker 1 (27:04):
You're always striving for that next thing,
yeah, and don't get me wrong.
Speaker 2 (27:07):
This is really the power of an entrepreneur Like.
That's how entrepreneurs haveto be, to a degree.
Speaker 1 (27:15):
Yeah, well, that's what I'm saying.
And when?
Speaker 2 (27:16):
they're not and they get into a comfortable state.
That's when things go sayingand when they're not and they
get into a comfortable state,that's when things go bad.
But I don't know, I guess I'mjust.
I'm at the age now where mybrain has just shifted and it's
not so much, it's not soimportant to me anymore.
Okay, those things exactly.
Speaker 1 (27:36):
I could kind of understand how that would be,
especially for entrepreneurs.
In my head anyway, I think moreso than the nine to fivers, so
to speak like myself that it's adifferent mindset.
Like, if I don't answer thattext or that call or that email,
(27:57):
that could be potentialbusiness that I'm losing, right
yeah?
What about sharing things aboutour kids on social media?
How do you feel about that?
Speaker 2 (28:11):
I'm a little numb to it.
I know some people are very,you know like they have their
opinions.
Yeah, yeah, yeah you know, likethey have their opinions.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, you know I'llbe doing a workout and Jet
wants to.
You know, join me and and wehave a picture together and I
post it on my Instagram.
Or you know, versus, like, Ihave some people where, uh, they
(28:31):
post a picture and, like, theface is covered.
Yeah, like a little heart emojior something like that.
Yeah, you know which is cool.
You know I get it.
Yeah, I would say I'm a littlebit more relaxed in that regard.
Speaker 1 (28:47):
Do you have two, let's say, for example,
instagram or even Facebook?
Do you have two separateaccounts?
Yeah, like your personal oneversus your business?
Yeah, so do you have settingson your personal account where
it's like only friends can seeyour pictures and stuff like
that?
Speaker 2 (29:03):
Or is it more public For Facebook?
Yes, for Instagram it's morepublic.
Speaker 1 (29:07):
It's more public.
Okay, I'm always like scrollingbut I'm never posting.
Do you know what I mean?
So, like everyone, maybe twicea year I'll post like something
with the kids, and when I do I'mnot too worried about it
because my settings are likepretty strong so to speak and
like only friends can see it andit's not available for public
(29:29):
view and blah, blah, blah.
The whole argument is theydon't get to make that decision
for themselves, right?
right and so until they can makethat decision for themselves,
they're gonna like hide them orcover their faces or whatever.
But then why bother posting atall?
Speaker 2 (29:45):
Well, yeah.
Speaker 1 (29:47):
In my that's.
I'm just kind of like, okay, I,I, I respect and understand
that argument, but then whybother putting it up at all?
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (29:54):
And, and to me I guess it's not even a big deal,
you know, so like if they getolder and they're like dad.
I'm so upset that I'm on youknow your Instagram like my baby
pictures, then, okay, I'lldelete them.
Speaker 1 (30:06):
Yeah, if you could get rid of one piece of tech
from your house, what would itbe, and why?
Speaker 2 (30:16):
I know it's going to sound crazy, but if I could get
rid of one piece of tech, Ithink I would probably get rid
of the iPads.
Yeah yeah, believe it or not,yeah, see.
Speaker 1 (30:29):
So here's the thing Do they each have their own iPad
?
Speaker 2 (30:32):
Yeah, okay.
But also there's a doublestandard to that, and the double
standard is like it's nice when, like, I need to get something
done and instead of them beingall over the place, they're
quietly on the couch on theiriPads and I'm like, okay, good.
They're they're doing theirthing.
Speaker 1 (30:50):
It's convenient when it's convenient for us.
It's good for them to have theiPad when it's convenient for us
.
Speaker 2 (30:58):
So true.
Speaker 1 (30:58):
And it's so true, I would do the same thing.
To be honest, the iPads, videogames and and all of that stuff.
It's not as predominant in ourhouse.
I mean, they love that, butit's not an everyday law.
Speaker 2 (31:13):
Yeah, you know yeah.
Speaker 1 (31:15):
Yeah exactly.
But then you get what.
What would happen?
You get rid of the iPads, andwhat then?
Now, all of a sudden, videogames would become?
Speaker 2 (31:21):
Probably.
Speaker 1 (31:21):
Probably right.
So I think you're fucked, nomatter what.
Speaker 2 (31:25):
Yeah, you're right, you're right.
Speaker 1 (31:27):
All right.
Well, that's it for today'sepisode.
Let us know Do you think socialmedia is helping or hurting
family life?
And don't forget to answer ourwhat if question in the comments
or message us on Instagram.
Make sure to follow us,subscribe and share the podcast
at brothersisterwhatever, and,as always we'll see you next
(31:48):
time on Brother, Sister,Whatever.
Speaker 2 (31:50):
Bye guys, Bye.
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