E11 - "Scars"

What no one tells you about choosing to heal from your trauma is the frustration and rage that you will feel throughout the journey. The unfairness of it all. How it sometimes doesn’t feel like you are making any progress with your healing because the bandage keeps getting ripped off. How it is now your responsibility to clean up a mess that you had no hand in creating, while the person that caused the mess just gets to walk away.

I have always hated the saying “trauma makes you stronger” because it felt like I should be grateful for the trauma that was forced upon me at such a young age. When in actuality, my trauma made me traumatized and it was MY choice to start healing from the trauma that made me stronger.

You never deserved the trauma. It was never your fault. You have always been enough.

“My scars remind me that the past is real…
I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut…
I can't help you fix yourself
But at least I can say I tried
I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life.”
- Papa Roach

These lyrics really highlight some of the different aspects of healing from trauma, at least for me. Trauma leaves scars behind, even if we are the only ones that can see it. Healing from trauma does feel like you’re having to constantly tear yourselves open then sew it all back together. Then eventually you reach a point in your journey where you have to leave people in the past because they don’t want to do the work on themselves.

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This episode was named after Papa Roach's song “Scars” You can find it and more in BBPlaylist on Spotify.
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2NwU6CVgJbHfgv8WWEuz6S?si=f2a479509dee4462

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