Episode Transcript
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Matt Garrow-Fisher (00:28):
On this
week's episode, I have Alice
nettling and.
Who has gone through a number ofcareer changes and each time has
really enjoyed every career thatshe's been in.
After graduating in psychology,Alice worked as a psychological
wellbeing practitioner for theNHS.
Fast forward a few years.
And she had spent five years asan English teacher in Asia.
(00:50):
And forward some more analysis,running a Shuki popular.
Female solo travel bookingbusiness, and now become a
certified hypnotherapist,helping other content creators,
get rid of unconscious patternsof self doubt.
And procrastination that stopsthem from being successful in
their business.
In this episode, we discuss.
(01:12):
How Alice made the decision tochange her career each time.
Her approach to transition.
Jumping in with both feet.
And how this can really beeffective for some people.
How stories from others canchange our beliefs and give us
instant inspiration to changecareers.
How we can reprogram our mindsby changing our self narratives.
(01:36):
Through hypnosis.
How hypnosis works exactly.
How can it improve your clarityand productivity?
And what's the one thing that'smade Alice Byrne from within.
The full show notes and videosof other interviews are
available@burnfromwithin.com.
Forward slash interviews.
So listen all the way through.
(01:58):
And enjoy What made you, decide,Hey I'm going to go from being
a.
Psychological well-beingpractitioner, to starting your
own travel, blogging businessand traveling around the world
on your own as a as a woman.
Like that step before we eventalk about hypnosis, cause
that's a pretty brave decision.
(02:20):
I would have to say.
Yeah.
Alice Nettleingham (02:22):
And yeah,
when I did make that change, I
think everybody thought I wasoff my rocker, but there, there
definitely are steps to explainhow I got there.
So just actually to go back onestep before that, actually, when
I was in school, I was obsessedwith art.
I loved art.
I did it all the time.
I drew every day.
And when it came to the crunchof me going to university I said
to my dad, I got to go to artschool.
(02:44):
That's it.
I'm going to ask.
And he said, Nope, you're notdoing that.
You're not going to make anymoney from that whatsoever.
And it broke my heart, my God,it broke my heart, but I did it,
I went to university and I didpsychology.
So be it.
But this was a running theme,throughout my childhood though,
I always did what was expectedof me.
(03:04):
And it got to the point, I thinkwhen I was really into my
psychology career and thingswere going very well, I was
like, okay, I've doneeverything.
My parents had told me today,I'm working hard.
I've you know, I've, I didn'tlet, I'd never put my foot on
the brake.
I just worked, and it got to thepoint in my mind, I thought The
half there just has to be morebecause I've done everything
(03:24):
that I've been told and I'mstill not happy.
And wherever you believe in theuniverse or not.
I really believe what did happento me was an intervention from
the universe because I was on atrain was going from the North
to the South of England.
So it was quite a long trainjourney.
It was a very busy train at thattime.
And there was one seat.
(03:45):
Available next to me and thisgirl sat down next to me and she
was reading a psychology paperand I love people.
I love people.
This is like pretty much thetheme for our, all of my jobs.
So I got chatting to her.
I was like, Oh, Hey, what areyou reading?
What are you studying?
And she said, Oh, I did amaster's in psychology.
But I just got back from India,teaching English and my ears
(04:07):
pricked up, I was like, what?
I was like, Oh my God, thiswoman she's like fascinating,
say we spoke for the whole trainjourney and I just listened to
her and I asked her so manydifferent questions.
And by the time I got off thattrain, I said to myself, that's
it.
I quit my job.
I quit my life.
I'm going to change right now.
And that weekend that came up.
(04:28):
I got myself on a teachingEnglish as a foreign language
course.
I thought if I'm going to getout of it, that's what I'm going
to do.
And don't get me wrong.
I love my job, but I just needthat.
I was destined for more.
So I went on that course.
And I met a guy and he said,where are you going to go?
What are you going to teach?
Where why?
And I was like, I dunno, I haveno idea.
(04:48):
He said, have you heard of SouthKorea?
I said, yeah.
I I've heard of it.
I've got no idea about, he said,I'm going to go there.
Do you want to go there?
I was like, okay.
So literally within three monthsI quit everything.
And I was in South Korea,teaching English, which is mine,
but it was just the right timesometimes.
(05:09):
The stars align.
And I just need that.
It was time to make a move andfree teaching all that English.
I did that for five years and itwas an amazing experience, but
obviously with that came traveland I started to document my
travels and just talk about itopenly.
And honestly, and I realized,Hey, Whoa, people were really
(05:30):
enjoying these stories.
I could make this into abusiness and that's how it came
about.
That's how I became a full-timetravel blogger.
So it was just a naturalprogression, but I'm pretty
magical and magical one.
Yeah.
Matt Garrow-Fisher (05:44):
Yeah.
That's so interesting.
Meeting someone that's doingsomething that you want to do.
And before you were workingsuper hard, never took your foot
off the pedal.
And, actually having a chance tolook around and seeing what
other people are doing, gettinginspired by someone else's story
and giving yourself the beliefthat it's possible because
(06:05):
someone else's D you're speakingto them on that train Suddenly
possibilities are real, and youcan actually go after that.
There's an actual structurebehind it.
Like I take this course and thenthere's, I can go into teaching
there.
And then you met someone whothen opened more possibilities
by saying, Hey, I'm going here.
Do you want to come as well?
So what was that?
(06:26):
Any.
Fear in these decisions.
So fear from the sense of firstof all, moving from your
psychology career to teachingEnglish.
And then secondly, you've done alot of, blogging by that point,
after a few years, and then yourealized, Oh, I can make this a
business.
Like, where was the fear thereand how did you deal with it?
Alice Nettleingham (06:51):
Have to say
interestingly, there was no
fear.
Definitely when I changed from atravel blogger to what I'm doing
now, purely working withhypnosis with content creators,
that was a big struggle.
But up until that point, it justfelt so natural to do that.
I know that sounds surprising.
(07:12):
But I think I was just so Gustoabout it.
I just knew that I could make itwork.
I just knew that it was going tohappen and it felt so natural
just to move from that set tothe other, because this is the
thing, we're career change.
Sometimes we can feel that we'reliterally to end from scratch,
but we are not, we are alwaysbuilding upon our past story.
(07:34):
And for me, yes, for me to gofor the national health service
T teaching your staff was prettyradical, but it felt so right.
I did have a last minute blipbefore I did get on the plane to
South Korea.
I was with my boyfriend at thetime, loved him very much, an
amazing person.
(07:55):
And I had this last minute blip,I said to him cause I was trying
to convince him with the monthlynut to, very mind, you only had
three months to try and convincehim to go with me.
And he said, I'm not going togo.
I'm not going to go.
And I had this last minute blipof, okay, I'm just going to
stay.
And he just stopped.
He said, Alice.
He said if I say yes to thisright now, he said in one year
you're going to be turned aroundto me.
(08:17):
You're still going to be hereand you're going to hate me.
He said, you can hate me.
You ha you have to leave rightnow.
And he was right.
I called him a couple of yearslater.
I said, you're you were right.
I said, thank you so much forsaying no, because my life has
completely changed now.
And I wouldn't be happy if I wasstill there.
It's the truth.
Yeah.
Matt Garrow-Fisher (08:38):
You're
always building on your
experience and what you knowabout yourself, your
self-awareness your passions,your interests, your skills,
your strengths.
And you also talked aboutidentity as well.
Like shifting identities whenyou chose the identity of, I am
going to be a travel blogger howdid you shift into that identity
(09:00):
and.
What did you know that you werebuilding on to actually shift
into that new direction, thatnew career?
Cause a lot of people would say,even if you're even, if what
writing blogs, that's for a lotof people, a lot of people are
writing blogs, but they're not,committing to make that a, an
identity of I'm a travel bloggerand I'm going to make it a
(09:21):
business.
Like, how did you how did youget that confidence to know that
you're not starting from scratchand that's actually what you're
going to do?
Alice Nettleingham (09:29):
It was
yesterday confirmation.
When I started my travel blog, Inever had an intention of making
it into a business.
It was purely a therapeuticprocess where I had all of these
stories and I just wanted to getthem out there.
I just wanted to not only soothemyself, but inspire others as
well.
And it was quite a sweet.
(09:49):
But back then for blogging, Istarted blogging in 2015 and
wow.
What an industry, it changes allthe time.
And back then SEO, search engineoptimization where you're trying
to get on page one, a giggle.
It, yes, it was around, but itwasn't really, you could easily,
I would say, have quite asuccessful blog without having
(10:11):
to worry about all thesedifferent intricacies when it
comes to Google.
So I think it got to the pointwhere I realized, Oh, wait a
minute.
It's not just my mom or myfriends, reason.
This actually it's thousands.
And the comment section peoplecommenting and commenting
comments.
And I was like, people likethis, people want to learn from
this.
People are inspired by this,that's it, it just became more
(10:33):
and more apparent that this wasgoing in a direction, which
would be really fruitful.
And I decided, yeah, I decidedto do it again.
And I've been teaching for quitea while.
At that point, I'd saved upquite a lot of money.
So I was like, I'm just gonna,I'm just gonna dive in because I
know I have that financialsecurity let's see what happens.
(10:55):
And at that time where I reallymade a decision, there was a
conference happening inThailand, which was for bloggers
all about blogging.
So it was the perfect time forme to cut the tie in China.
And head over to Thailand tostart this new adventure.
Matt Garrow-Fisher (11:11):
That's
interesting that you have this
approach of you decide whatyou're going to do.
You get excited about it, andthen you really commit, like you
go all in as you said even whenyou left, your psychology career
and then go into from teachinginto blogging.
There was like a, an element ofconfidence, faith but then going
all in, and that seemed to, thatseems to work multiple times.
(11:34):
What is it about.
Going all in.
Do you think that is importantfor shifting your identity and
actually making things workversus, gradually transitioning
and doing a little bit of thiswork and a little bit of that
work and then hopefully, you canget into it full time, that kind
of thing.
There, there are differentroutes around this, but you've
(11:56):
taken that approach.
W what's significant about thatand why do you think it's worked
so well for you?
Alice Nettleingham (12:03):
That is such
a good question, because I do
believe that one size does notfit all, when it comes to the
work that I'm doing now, Ialways say to my clients that.
Your success always depends onyour mindset.
Your success depends on the waysthat you say to yourself and the
pictures that you put in yourmind.
When I was making thosedecisions, I was a hundred
(12:25):
percent confident that I wasgoing to make it work.
And I have always been a littlebit of that do or die kind of
girl, and that's come across inmy travels as well.
I would just get on motorbikesand just.
Drive around countries for freemonths.
And I would honestly, sometimesI would come across crossroads
and I was like this route isreally easy.
(12:47):
This one looks a little bitchallenging.
I'll take that one because in mytwenties, I really wanted to
push myself.
I really wanted to see what Iwas capable of.
I wanted to know who I was.
I want to know what I could do.
So it was almost a little bit ofa dare, can you make it work?
Can you really make it work?
(13:07):
So I would purposely dive all into see if I could do that.
Now.
I understand that not everybodyis in that position.
I'm not married.
I don't have children.
I don't have a mortgage.
So I could more easily just goahead and do that.
Nothing was holding me back, butI understand for some people, if
(13:29):
you do want to try a new career,you want to do site near, you
might want to get your ducks inthe road a little bit before you
do that.
But yes, again, I do want tostress that, time and time
again, some of the clients Isee.
They'd been putting their ducksin a row for years and they have
never moved.
And theirs is going to become apoint where the, the straw that
(13:51):
breaks the camel's back andyou're going to have to make a
move away as you are going to bestuck.
And in five years time, if I hadnot listened to my boyfriend at
that time, I would still be inEngland, probably working for
the NHS.
There's gotta be a point whereyou, don't what you dive in
there really
Matt Garrow-Fisher (14:07):
is.
Yeah, it was, I was actuallygoing to ask about like the
support that you had in each ofyour transitions.
And if you had that support,whether it's a, a mentor or a
coach or a boyfriend at thetime, friends did you have that
in each of your transitions andhow.
But how can people manage wwithout support, if is it
(14:31):
possible?
Alice Nettleingham (14:34):
It is
absolutely possible.
When I quit my job at the NHS,my dad used the D word.
He said, I'm disappointed inyou.
That was a tough word to hear,the D word.
Ooh, it's a hard one.
And yeah, you said I'mdisappointed in you.
My parents had come from aworking class background.
They come from that generationwhere you have one job.
And you stick to it, whatever,because you need stability.
(14:57):
Obviously the world has changedrapidly, in the last five to 10
years, but he used the D wordand I was like, Oh man, but this
is the truth.
You can listen to all of thesewords and it is usually family
and friends that will stop youthe most because they love you
and they care about you and theydon't want you to be upset or
get in trouble.
(15:17):
But this is the truth.
The most important ways thatyou're ever going to hear are
the words that you say toyourself.
If you keep trying to getconfirmation from other people,
if you keep listening to otherpeople's opinions, then that's
going to affect your journey.
Sometimes of course, we all needmentors.
We all need people.
We need to look up to that'swhat drives us forward.
But at the end of the day, youhave to be in the driving seat
(15:40):
and you have to listen to yourown gut and intuition to me
forward.
Matt Garrow-Fisher (15:44):
Let's talk a
little bit about, a lot, maybe
about hypnosis now.
And.
You've been running your travelblogging business for a while.
Something attracted you tohypnosis.
And in particular you weretrained by like a real top
trainer Marisa Peer Whatattracted you to do that?
And like how have you decidedthe niche you're in now, like in
(16:10):
terms of what problems you'resolving for people using that
method of hypnotherapy.
Alice Nettleingham (16:15):
There was
two very clear, distinct
reasons.
So as a therapist myself, backin the NHS, we were always
working with cognitivebehavioral therapy and don't get
me wrong.
It's a brilliant technique.
It really is.
I've seen people's lives changedby it, if you came to see me,
you be referred to me by yourdoctor and you would see me for
around six to eight sessions.
(16:37):
And the thing we conceptbehavioral therapy is that it
works from a conscious stance.
You're always working with theconscious and the thing, but the
conch consciousness that we haveright here is that it has
filters.
It has blocks.
And I was getting frustrated asa therapist because I knew that
I was not getting to the rootproblem.
(16:58):
I knew that I was not getting tothe absolute, most significant
cause of these people'sdifficulties.
And I just thought there's more,I know there's more so when I
discovered hypnosis, which workswith the subconscious mind, that
part of us, which is that bigblack warehouse, that stores all
of our thoughts, all of ourbeliefs, all of our programming.
(17:20):
If you get in there, wow.
You can change things around soquickly because you are getting
to the source.
So that's exactly why I decidedto do hypnosis.
And it was yes.
Again, a natural progressionbecause working in the travel
blogging industry, working inthe content creation industry.
This is a very interestingentrepreneurial profession.
(17:43):
You are constantly puttingyourself out there in front of
people.
You are sharing your thoughts.
You are being constantlycreative.
You are trying to pitch tobrands.
And when it comes to pitchingand being on social media, you
can be open to a lot ofrejection, a lot of trolls, a
lot of comments.
And I was finding a lot ofpeople in my industry, they were
(18:03):
not charging their worth.
They were.
Worried about expressing whatthey really fought about things.
Hey, we've seen it time and timeagain, right?
People on Instagram, Facebooktrying to project a certain
image or identity and that notaligning with how they feel
inside at all.
know, They may project theutmost confidence and
assuredness and rainbow unicorn,but inside they're feeling
(18:29):
completely different.
And I thought hang on a minute.
All of my friends around me,they're feeling like this and me
too.
I didn't actually realize it atthe time.
My brand was very kick-ass, verylike you can do anything you
wanted, but I quickly realized,Hey, Whoa, wait a minute.
It's actually some blocks that Ireally have.
I was not pitching to brands asmuch as I want it because I
thought they would say, no, Iwas not charging as much money
(18:51):
as other people because I didn'twant to lose the work.
And also, I just felt that therewere not a lot of things
available to me.
Hey, it goes right back to mydad.
You can't make money doing whatyou love.
I feel artists blogging.
It's just a hobby really is abusiness, but it's just a hobby.
I can't possibly make moneydoing that.
So there were, I realize it, Ihad to work on myself, but also
(19:12):
there was a big gap in thismarket, that.
There was not particularly anytherapist or hypnosis going on
for these particular kinds ofpeople.
All these creators bloggersinfluences.
Yeah, there's a lot going on andnot enough help in that sense.
Matt Garrow-Fisher (19:28):
Yeah.
And for both of us we've gonethrough hypnosis ourselves and
got results from it for thosepeople who might not have had
the experience of hypnosis andaccessing the subconscious.
What are some of the ways theycan start to experience that and
(19:49):
is it for everyone?
Does it work on every singleperson or a, some people more
susceptible to it?
Cause I think a lot of people beif they haven't gone through it
they probably will have thatquestion on their mind.
Alice Nettleingham (20:01):
Yeah.
When you look at the movies andthe films and you see hypnosis,
I was actually watching thehorror movie, get out a couple
of weeks ago and my God, theyhave all this hypnosis in there
and it's terrifying, right?
You've got this lady likeclinking, a cup with a spoon and
making you feel paralyzed, andGod
Matt Garrow-Fisher (20:20):
knows.
Alice Nettleingham (20:23):
I was like,
this is not doing any good for
my business right now, but to behonest, hypnosis is such a
natural state.
When I do hypnosis of myclients, I'm essentially making
you go into rapid eye movement.
That's all it is.
You are going into anotherstate, which is natural in which
(20:44):
you do every day.
Anyway, you do it before, whenyou are in your sleep.
But you're not asleep.
You're in hypnosis.
Just want to make that clear,but you're also doing it
throughout the day.
If you, are reading a book andyou get so engrossed in it, you
switch off, a certain part ofyou and you just get so stuck
into it.
And then maybe someone callsyour name.
(21:05):
You might not hear them at firstbecause you're just so focused
on that.
That's hypnosis And when you'redriving your car and you're
listening to the radio or you'rechatting to a friend who's next
year, you're just driving thecar on auto pilot and before it.
You're home and that's just asubconscious taking over.
You don't think about how tochange the gear stick and you
(21:28):
just do it.
And that is what hypnosis is.
It's just happening to thesubconscious minds.
And ask a couple of questions toreally understand why you are
thinking certain things, why youare doing certain things and the
revelations that come out ofthat of always fascinating.
I had a client just last week.
He just said to me, I just can'tbe happy.
(21:49):
I just don't understand it.
I just can't be happy.
I want to do all these things,but I just can't let myself be
happy.
It was fascinating.
What came out of that, thedifferent things that he had
experienced in his life, itsuddenly became incredibly clear
to him why he had that beliefthat he couldn't be happy.
And it's amazing to see thetransformation.
(22:09):
He messaged me just 24 hourslater.
He said, my life has completelychanged.
Now.
I understand exactly whathappened and why.
And now I know that I have allthe power and control because
you do understand in his power.
Matt Garrow-Fisher (22:23):
Yeah.
One word that strikes me aboutyour background, even before
you, now with a trainedhypnotist is stories, you're a
content writer or a blogger.
You've been listening topeople's stories as a
psychological well-beingpractitioner in the NHS creating
stories, like writing your ownlife story in the travel
(22:44):
blogging you're doing.
And now helping people interpretand change the narrative in the
stories of their own lives withtheir unconscious to change
their behavior.
To what extent do you think.
Your background in contentcreation has helped you become a
great hypnotist.
Alice Nettleingham (23:03):
I love that
question.
And this is the thing, likeevery time that is a travel
blogging or whether it'shypnosis, I feel that I've
gotten to go to art school.
Because travel, blogging andhypnosis is a very creative
thing.
When we do a session together,it's two hours and we've delved
into all these stories that wehave in our minds.
(23:24):
But the last part of thatsession is telling a story.
I give my clients and kind ofhypnosis track to listen to you
for 21 days.
And I weave everything that theyhave said, everything they want
to.
Everything.
They want to think.
I just do that on the fly at theend.
And it's like a 20 minutehypnotic recording, completely
(23:45):
tailored to you.
And that's art.
That is art.
You have to be a very expressiveand imaginative person to do the
work.
And that is storytelling itself.
You're telling yourself a newstory.
I just love it actually, thatyou've connected that for me, no
one has ever said that to mebefore and now I'm like, Oh
yeah, that makes sense.
Matt Garrow-Fisher (24:06):
The
connectedness of stories I think
is in everyone.
It really isn't, it's just it's,I'm trained in NLP and I totally
I'm with you in terms ofaccessing the unconscious, it
really makes quite a bigdifference to changing your
behavior.
And a lot of it is.
Down to the self narrative thatwe have within ourselves.
And what we tell ourselves inthe morning even in the morning,
(24:29):
getting out, out yeah.
Bed and getting up at a certaintime.
If we're telling ourselves, Oh,no, I want to stay in.
I don't really, I don't reallyhave anything to get up for
today.
It's really cold.
That's a story in your head andto be able to, first of all,
take time and become aware of.
What you're saying unconsciouslyby talking to someone by
(24:52):
journaling just by being weighyourself, by being present by
doing things like meditation, Ifound has it really can start
unpacking areas where you canchange things, and I guess it's
it's There's something wrongwith your car?
If you've suddenly becomeconsciously aware of where the
faults are, you can start toknow where to make changes.
And some super mechanics thathave hypnosis as a tool can make
(25:15):
some pretty rapid changes.
In terms of clients, is thatyou've had and just exposure to.
People that are not sure what todo with their lives.
A lot of people come to you forclarity issues.
I don't know what to do.
A lot of it comes down toactually getting clear about
what they want.
(25:36):
How do you help people to becomeclear of.
What they want,
Alice Nettleingham (25:41):
yeah.
When I down just an artist wouldhave many paint, brushes and
paints.
And when I sit down, I know mymind that I have a variety of
tools I can use in the hypnosissession.
So I do pick and choose what isbest.
But, if you are right now reallywondering what to do with your
life, if you're wondering whatyour life purpose here.
First of all, I want to say toyou that you are here for a
(26:02):
reason, People, if you're sayingto yourself, Oh, I don't have
any skills.
I don't have any passion.
I, I didn't know what to do.
You are here for a reason, theuniverse put you here for a
reason.
So that's that.
But secondly, if you arethinking for your life purpose,
what IDG.
So I say to people what did youlove doing between the ages of
seven and 14?
Particularly because during thattime as children, yes, we all
(26:26):
have different backgrounds,different things may have been
going on, but when you wanted torelax, when you just wanted to
play.
What were you doing?
Were you painting?
Were you dancing?
Were you singing?
Were you writing every child ornaturally do what they are
gifted and brought here to dowhen they are between the ages
of seven 14.
So I take them back.
(26:46):
I'm like, Hey, what were youdoing?
And they'll be like, Oh, it'sdoing this.
And I was doing that.
And that's what made me sayhappy.
So you can find the answer thatway, but I also have to say.
A lot of people deep down, doyou actually know what they want
to do, but from differentbeliefs, day's not available to
(27:08):
them or they're not good enoughto do it, or they're just a
different kind of person.
So they possibly couldn't, havewhat everyone else has.
Then that's when we really startto find the answer because
there's a good chance.
You do know.
And it's always a lovelyquestion.
Just asking, listeners right nowfrom a conscious point of view.
Hey, if it w if you didn't haveto worry about time or money,
(27:31):
what would you be doing rightnow?
And then they will tell you thereal answer.
Matt Garrow-Fisher (27:37):
Yeah.
I coached someone today and oncareer change and.
The blockage around money notbeing able to earn enough or
can't possibly do that.
It's enough to just shut offthat, that option without
exploring it further, becausethere's just this it's an
unconscious reaction is Oh no, Ican't do that.
(27:58):
And then, because it causes apain in them and me I've had
that myself.
You tend to not want to exploreit unless you're, you talk it
through with someone or write itdown and confront it, which is
quite a scary thing to do.
A lot of the time.
For me, like I got into hypnosisbecause I knew someone else that
had done hypnosis for certainissues.
(28:21):
And I was like, and I'd seen theresults.
And I was like, okay, How hasthat person changed so much?
There's, it's crazy.
Like I'm with her now and she'sso different, like what's going
on.
So that was the kind ofcuriosity that kind of led me to
go.
I want your hypnotist.
And then.
I've just explored it more andmore over the years.
(28:42):
And I think, again, it'sstories, it's Oh, I don't know
anything about hypnosis.
Therefore I don't think, I dunnoif it could work for me, but
when you know someone that'sgone through it, or you hear a
story.
That you relate to then suddenlyit all becomes possible just
like it was when you were on thetrain with someone who, and
speaking about teaching Englishabroad.
(29:04):
And it was relatable becausethey were a psychology student
as well.
And it's all about the stories.
And so I guess, talking ofstories, is there a way of.
Changing someone's narrative andstory And are there any other
ways for you to start changingyour beliefs about something
when you've been so resistant toit before?
(29:26):
For example, career change?
Alice Nettleingham (29:29):
I would go
right back to that sentence.
I said earlier, it is all aboutthe words and it is all about
the images.
If you want to start changingyour life right now, you do need
to start talking to yourself ina different way.
You do need to start imaginingwhat's going to happen in a
different way.
That is the key to changebecause your mind is like a
(29:51):
fairy godmother.
It's very loyal to you.
It will listen to absolutelyeverything that you say to it.
So be careful what you wish for,if you keep saying certain
things to it Oh, I'm never goingto be able to achieve this.
I can't do this.
I can't do this.
Your mind is gonna be like,okay, no problem.
We won't make it work.
Then, you have to really be kindto that fairy godmother within
(30:12):
you and tell it what you want.
Be very crystal clear.
And then things will change.
Matt Garrow-Fisher (30:18):
Let's talk
about belief as well, because
you are someone that has anatural confidence and natural
self-belief.
Of course that you've beenchallenged in your life and in
various transitions you've hadat times, but for someone that
doesn't necessarily believe inthemselves and.
Might not think that they canchange career or just do
(30:39):
something slightly differentpivots, something in their
existing job, for example Howcan they start to cultivate that
sense of self-belief and relatedto what you've just said around,
creating a vision and a picturefor your, for their future?
Like how do they do that aswell?
Cause, if they don't do thingslike that they may.
(30:59):
Continue doing what they'redoing and be miserable for very
long time.
So what kind of steps can theystart to, to take for changing
self-belief and also changingthat their vision for the
future?
Alice Nettleingham (31:12):
I want to
say two things to that.
Number one is that everyone isborn with the most phenomenal
confidence.
Now, when you were a baby, youcame out kicking and screaming.
You weren't quiet.
You did not look in people'seyes.
When you're a baby, you arelooking at everything.
Staring at people like thisyou're touching everything.
You don't care what people,people are thinking, they'll say
(31:33):
it about you just do you.
And that's exactly what toddlersdo too.
They scream, they shout, theydon't care what other people are
thinking or et cetera.
So you do have that confidence.
Everyone's born with it justover the years.
It can start to get dumped anddown a little bit.
And I guess to answer the secondpart to this, what actually
(31:53):
comes to mind is a guy that I'mdating now, he's Syrian.
K.
He has just gone through 10years of war.
Okay.
He he's seen people die.
He's lost friends.
And he said to me, he, he saysit to me.
He says, I told myself I wasnever going to die.
I told myself every time that Istepped out the door, that I was
(32:15):
going to survive and that I amdestined for more.
And he truly is an inspirationalperson.
His mindset is so powerful.
He threw through the mostextreme things that he has been
free.
He's still.
Did this narrative, every timehe stepped up, stepped out the
door, I ain't going to get frompoint a to paint point, be
(32:35):
completely Safie.
I am going to like furthermyself, he told me this story
that, they were shooting hisneighborhood he's from homes.
Okay.
He was literally right in themiddle of the action.
He had to Dodge all of thesesnipers to get to school, to
take an exam.
And he just said to himself, Ineed to pass this exam.
I'm just going to, I'm going togo and do this exam.
(32:56):
I'm going to pass it and I'mgoing to, I'm going to get
better.
That is mindset.
It's most phenomenal.
Matt Garrow-Fisher (33:04):
Wow.
I mean is incredible.
Alice Nettleingham (33:07):
Yes.
And that hit for me.
He really is the the kind ofposter child for mindset,
because if you're an extremecircumstances like that, There
is always a way there is alwaysa way.
You just keep saying toyourself, I'm not going to give
up, I'm going to do this.
I'm going to, I can get that,that's how you do it.
That's how you do it.
(33:28):
Yeah.
Matt Garrow-Fisher (33:28):
And again,
coming back to stories, like
just listening to that I wastotally captivated by his story
and just hearing it, it's givenme a sense of.
What am I complaining for?
I like the worst that thishappens to me in my life is
probably bad traffic, on the wayto, on the way to school like
versus dodging sniper rifles andsniper, but it's goodness me.
(33:50):
So it's a case of when I thinkabout stories, for me, it's
surrounding myself with storiesthat are gonna help me that are
gonna motivate me.
They're gonna inspire me.
And I do that through books.
I do that for you.
I do that through interviewslike this, I do that through
talking to people as I travelis, do you find that.
(34:11):
Listening to other people'sstories and reading about the
people's stories is, hasactually shaped your own
self-belief and confidence andability to, to do what you want
to do.
Alice Nettleingham (34:22):
Yes, very
much.
And this just goes back to thedonut time, doesn't it?
What were we doing years andyears ago, we were sitting
around campfires sharingstories.
That's how we learn, what do wedo when we're bringing our
children up?
We tell them fairytales andfables because.
This is how we remember.
This is how we learn.
You always are going to rememberhis story way over, a scientific
(34:46):
fact in a textbook or something,because the beauty of stories is
that it has everything in there.
It has the words, it has theemotions.
It has, always his story from.
From a strong, struggling personto someone who succeeds and as
humans, we just love that.
We love this idea of being in ahot water in a moment of panic,
(35:09):
and then get an out of that.
It's just a natural humantendency to want to hear those
stories.
Yes, It's the same.
When I was working in the NHS, Ifelt that I was traveling all
around the world and I hadn'teven left the UK at that time.
How, because I had, and thestories and I grew phenomenally
(35:30):
during that time.
Because I was hearing storiesfrom 50 year old, six year old
women.
And I was still very young.
I was fresh faced out ofuniversity and I learned so much
about life from other people.
It truly was a blessing.
I'm so grateful for all of myclients and I, even to this day,
(35:51):
I'm learning all the time.
I'm learning all the time fromother people, connections and
stories.
Are just so key
Matt Garrow-Fisher (36:00):
talking
about some of the clients that
you've worked with, what havebeen some like real memorable
stories in terms of the progressthat they've made and
transformations they've had withthat without mentioning any
names, but can you talk methrough.
Some of the journey some of yourclients have had with your help
and with in particular, thehypnosis you've been given.
Alice Nettleingham (36:22):
One
particular lady comes to mind.
She is a Chinese British, so shecame to the country with very
little money.
No, dad was always like workingin the takeaway.
Very difficult times, she tryingto integrate with British
society, not a lot of money.
And they just, it really got herto the point where she wasn't
(36:44):
quite, how could I say, becauseobviously we're not just black
and white, but so confident,also a creator, so confident,
but equally, a lot of shame andguilt and walking on eggshells
around people.
Cause she was unsure because ofthe backgrounds, how she really
could be.
And she is just growingphenomenally.
(37:06):
Now she's now presenting on theBBC, like she's doing
documentary, he's talking aboutChinese British yeah.
People.
And especially right now, we'rerecording this still in the time
of Corona.
There's been a lot of hate crimetowards Asians.
And she now has the courage toreally talk about that.
When she came to me, she said, Ireally want to talk about
(37:28):
things.
I really want to get it outthere, but I don't know how it's
going to be received.
She's doing phenomenally wellnow.
And the fact that she'spresenting that on the BBC, so
proud of it.
Matt Garrow-Fisher (37:36):
So what
elements made that
transformation, do you think ifyou look back, was it breaking
through.
Like her self-belief and thestory she told herself around
that.
What was it that do you think,looking back that gave that
transformation.
Alice Nettleingham (37:52):
Part of the
therapy when we work together is
that I always ask your mind toshow me the most significant
scene for you having certainbeliefs about yourself and the
scenes that came to her mindwere very significant, but.
The stories that she was tellingherself about those scenes Rudy
was affecting her behavior andpresence today.
(38:16):
And it's about taking a stepback from that because when
we're children, we see things insuch black and white, when we're
children, we automatically thinkthat it's, something's not going
right.
Maybe it's us.
We don't have this understandingthat adults do.
So we really just took a stepback and was like, actually,
that's not your fault.
(38:37):
That isn't your shame, thatisn't your guilt.
And it's just really about.
Looking at it realistically,we're not, we're not being
unrealistic.
It's just the truth about whatactually happened.
It wasn't her fault.
So it really is about retellingyourself, that story from a
different perspective and from avery loving kind and
understanding perspective,because sometimes as children,
(38:59):
we just call them processeverything.
We see things in a differentway.
Matt Garrow-Fisher (39:04):
Yeah.
I had that with, when I did mysession with you.
I had a change in narrative.
I was D I have a portfoliocareer.
I've quite a few differentprojects going on at once.
And I just got this clarity ofit's.
Okay.
Just to not do too many thingsand actually start doing less
things.
I was doing things just to feelbusier almost, and And it really
(39:27):
helped me to reprioritize andactually say no to things.
And but like you said, I was Ihad this narrative that I had to
be doing that because it may be,I dunno, it where it was from
just from, society saying that,or, I had to been busy.
But I was being, I, at the timeI was being busy on not the most
(39:47):
important things being busy,and.
But it you're totally right.
It was like the narrative thatwas saying to myself.
And once I it's you can confrontit.
W when I was talking with you,it came to the surface, it came,
became conscious, and then Iconfronted it.
And you as a coach and atherapist you helped me confront
(40:08):
it in a way where I it, I waslike, okay, what am I doing?
Why am I doing this?
And it's FA I find it very.
I'm trained in NLP and hypnoticlanguage patterns to some extent
not as much as you of course,but It's very difficult to do
that by yourself.
To, yeah.
Alice Nettleingham (40:23):
So from a
conscious level, it's so hard to
do that journaling right now.
If you're doing affirmations inthe morning.
Oh, it's hard because you'retrying to change yourself from
the outside in, not the insideout.
It's a lot harder trying to doit this way, rather than do it
from the inside out.
(40:44):
It's easier from thesubconscious point of level.
Matt Garrow-Fisher (40:47):
Yeah.
Yeah, I know.
I find you, don't let yourselfgo and just be free with
thoughts.
If you're trying to thinkconsciously about what your
patterns are and what you'redoing and what your narrative
is, but to bounce that and havebe guided around that.
I find this is very powerful andthat, that helps Mike that helps
my clients even just from atalking perspective.
(41:09):
Not even hypnosis perspective.
What would you say is yourpurpose now, Alice in life for
having gone through so manydifferent stories and careers
what would you say, is theresomething that when you look
back, you can link everythingtogether in one way or has your
purpose changed and you'reconscious of it now, or you're
not sure.
Alice Nettleingham (41:29):
I love that
question.
So years ago when I was inIndia, I went to see good old
little guru.
And he was like, Oh, in a pastlife he said, you're from the
middle East, it's in a pastlife, you were a dancer.
And People came to you forhealing like you did this
dancing and it was a verytherapeutic healing practice.
(41:50):
And that's what you did.
You made people feel better.
And I was like, Oh, Hey, Whoasurprise.
Because I do believe that is mypurpose in life.
All the jobs that I've done,whether it was working in the
NHS or teaching English ortravel blogging.
I was always trying to share myexperience and wisdom to make
people go further in life.
(42:12):
And I feel that where I am now,It's a lovely combination of all
of that.
I've combined my contentcreation experience and all of
my psychology skills andpractices together to get me to
this point.
And I do that is what makes metick.
I love to see people transformand, Hey ho with all the
(42:33):
patterns that have happened sofar, he knows what the future
holds, but I know it's going tobe linked to people and
transformation a hundredpercent.
Matt Garrow-Fisher (42:43):
Yeah.
Yeah, for sure.
And I was speaking to someonetoday actually about The
technology is changing a lot ofthings but the kind of human
connection and being aware ofyour emotions, your story to be
able to transform and havingconnections with other people.
That's never going to go away,whatever happens with technology
it's absolutely essential.
(43:03):
It's likely to be more in demandthan ever before.
As technology progresses, I'mtalking of technology outlets,
where can people find you andreach out to you, connect with
you and learn more about whatyou have to offer.
And then also, maybe even asession with you.
Alice Nettleingham (43:21):
Yeah, sure.
So you can reach me.
I'd say the best places onFacebook and Instagram.
If you want to connect with meon Facebook, just say hello to
me on my personal page is Alicenataline, ham, Alice dot mashing
them.
You will find me there onFacebook.
And if you want to speak to meon Instagram, my handle is speak
to Alice.
So grab me on either of those.
(43:41):
Say a little hello.
And if you want to talk aboutthings further, my pleasure just
pop me a DM and we can talkabout things forever from that.
Matt Garrow-Fisher (43:50):
Awesome.
And I'll put all of those linksin this episode show notes.
Of course, Alice my finalquestion I.
See you as someone that isburning from within.
And by that, I define that assomeone that's living with a
sense of passion for what theydo and purpose, which you just
explained and have a balance inlife to spend time on different
(44:12):
areas relationships, and, funadventure travel, which is what
exactly what you're doing.
What do you think is the onething that's made the biggest
difference to burn from within.
Alice Nettleingham (44:22):
This
question.
What's the biggest difference toburn from within, it's probably
a cheesy one and maybe peoplehave said this to you before.
But there is no better innercompass or guidance on what you
should be doing then your ownintuition.
I've always.
Whatever people have said,whatever expectations have been
set upon me is to always listento my intuition.
(44:46):
And that for me is the key toburn from within, because what's
best for you, what you were bornto do, and you just got to
listen to it and you've got todo it.
That is how you do it.
Matt Garrow-Fisher (44:59):
Alice, it's
been an absolute pleasure to
speak with you today.
And just from a personalperspective really great to know
you as a friend and fantastic tohave had a transformational
experience with you and all ofthe amazing follow-up after our
therapy and I can't highly, Ican't recommend you highly
enough.
(45:19):
I've gone through.
Sarah like the top trainers inNLP.
And I've had like real amazinghypnotists and Europe, they were
the best in terms of how youguide people.
How, like calming and soothingyour voices, but one thing and
just I think your creativityshines in your sessions when
you.
you help people to, to put theirstories, uh, in a, in a sense
(45:42):
light it's it's it shows animmense level of creativity.
Um, so I, you know, totallyrecommend people to do it,
experience it.
I mean, it's to experience itcan really kind of change your
story and, and.
You know, I, I, uh, I wish youmore and more success.
(46:03):
Thank you so much, Alice.
Alice Nettleingham (46:05):
Thank you,
Matt.
Thank you.
I appreciate it deeply.
Thank you so much.
Matt Garrow-Fisher (46:09):
Alice is so
awesome.
If you haven't tried hypnosis,Alice is currently offering
taster sessions.
So you experience it yourself.
Super affordably.
Just connect with her directlyon Instagram at speak to Alice.
And the link for your tastersession is in the bio right now.
Also check out.
Alice is awesome.
(46:29):
Travel blog, tea caketravels.com.
That's teacake travels.com forfascinating insight into her
adventures around the world.
And if you enjoyed this episode,go right ahead and leave a
review for this podcast.
By going to rate thispodcast.com.
Falstaff burned from withinthat's rate.
This podcast.com forward slashburn from it.
Then stay updated with moreinspiring interviews by hitting
(46:51):
the subscribe button or followbutton now on your payer for
this podcast.
And until next time live withpassion, purpose, and balance
and burn from within