August 1, 2023 • 19 mins
We've all been privy to the lessons of air travel shit shows.
And truth be told, there's a lot we can learn from the madness of air travel.
Picture me stuck on hold for 36 hours, trying to retrieve money from a canceled flight. Or dealing with a cancelled flight and losing a day of our vacation. Or dealing with a cancellation on the way back and a rerouting.
It was an eye-opening experience on how things beyond our control can wreak havoc in our plans. Sounds a lot like entrepreneurship, doesn't it? As we navigate this stormy landscape, let's keep in mind that we can't control everything, but our responses are totally up to us.
The pandemic has changed the rules of the business game, and it's not unusual to feel the heat and pressure building. But let's make one thing clear - resorting to manipulative tactics or pushing people into purchases they can't afford is not the answer. Instead, let's focus on what we can control - our responses, how we show up, how we price our offers, and how we share our content. I'll be talking about the importance of rest and slowing down to identify what we can let go of in our lives and businesses. Rethink, redefine and make your business not only rewarding but impactful.
Remember, we're in this together.
Love what you heard? Let’s stay connected!
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And if you’re ready to dive even deeper, grab a copy of my book Bite-Sized Blasphemy and ignite your inner fire to do life and business your way.
The Business Blasphemy Podcast is sponsored by Corporate Rehab® Strategic Consulting.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Stop building the business everyone tells you you
should build and build thebusiness you deserve.
Business Blast for Me issponsored by Corporate Rehab
Strategic Consulting, creatorsof the Entrepreneur Growth
Hierarchy, the proprietarymethod for helping you identify
the precise conditions you needto meet to sustainably scale
your business to the next levelof growth, without
overcomplicating things orgetting caught up in the
(00:20):
bullshit.
If you're ready to find outexactly what your business needs
from you, grab a free 30-minuteassessment today.
Details are in the show notes.
Welcome to the Business Blastfor Me podcast, where we
question the sacred truths ofthe online business space and
the reverence with which they'reheld.
I'm your host, sarah Kahn,speaker, strategic consultant
(00:41):
and BS busting badass.
Join me each week as wechallenge the norms, trends and
overall bullshit status quo ofentrepreneurship to uncover what
it really takes to build thebusiness that you want to build
in a way that honors you, yourlife and your vision for what's
possible, and maybe piss off afew gurus along the way.
So if you're ready to commitBusiness Blast for Me, let's do
it.
(01:04):
Hello, hello, blasphemers.
You know there is nothing likeair travel these days to truly
teach you how little is in yourcontrol.
Ok, I want to preface thisweek's episode with a little
apology.
We are in North Carolina thisweek visiting family and I don't
have my fancy mic or my quietoffice to record in, so the
(01:27):
audio quality is going to behowever it is.
Cars are going to drive by,birds are going to chirp and
there's not a lot I can do aboutit.
So I am sorry if the chaos ofbackground noise makes this
episode difficult or annoying tolisten to, and actually it's
the perfect backdrop for thisweek's episode, which will make
sense momentarily.
(01:47):
If you've traveled at all sincethe pandemic, you'll notice
something about air travel.
It's shit.
No one gets anywhere withoutdelays, sometimes multiple
delays, or canceled flights, orsitting on the tarmac or being
stuck in stifling airports forhours on end with no customer
service, only to be given like a$10 voucher as compensation.
(02:09):
Hi, have you seen the price ofa bottle of water?
$10 isn't going to go far.
Well, that's exactly how thistrip to North Carolina started
out.
We got ourselves out of bed at2 30 am to get to the airport by
3, 3, 15.
We had a 5 30 flight to Toronto.
We got there enormous line likethe full length of the
(02:29):
departures hall.
How many people fly at 5 30 amon a Thursday.
Hundreds, the flight was fulland, yeah, it wasn't the only
flight.
But let's be honest, you know,damn, you walk in and there's a
massive line the entire lengthof the departures hall.
So with myself, my husband, twokids, until we got in line, we
waited.
I even tried the kiosks about30 minutes in to see if we could
(02:50):
check in that way, but no, itwasn't having it.
We have really great luck withkiosks.
It never lets us check in thatway.
So about 40 minutes or so laterwe're at the desk and we get
checked in.
We get to the gate, there's aminor delay and of course that
early almost nothing is open.
And now the kids are gettinghungry.
So I nipped to the only thingthat is open at that end of the
airport, a Tim Hortons.
(03:11):
Well, everyone else had thesame idea.
So I'm waiting for our orderbecause of course at that time
no one wants just a donut.
They all want to cook breakfastsandwich or hash brown.
So you know I'm waiting in line.
Then they call our flight whileI'm in line.
Now cue the stress, stress thatis already adding to the stress
that already have Just having,you know, woken up early and not
(03:31):
having had a lot of sleep andjust the idea of having to fly
that early with kids, I made it.
It wasn't a big deal.
We fly the two and a half hoursto Toronto and then we have a
three hour layover.
We get through security, we getthrough US customs and walk, I
think, to the ass end of theairport, like literally gate
F-99.
And we park it, we get somefood, coffee, chill, then the
(03:53):
flight's delayed.
Of course it is why wouldn't itbe?
And then it's delayed again andthen it's delayed a third time,
keeping in mind I have twokiddos who have also been up
since two o'clock in the morning, and I don't do well when we
travel because I get stressedout almost the minute we leave,
worried about getting everywhereon time, how we're gonna get
through security, making sureeveryone's comfortable, making
(04:14):
sure we actually make it.
We've had some challenges in thepast, and particularly over the
last year, with travel.
First of all, my husband getsflagged every time we go
anywhere.
He shares a name with someonewho's on a no fly list somewhere
, which is stupid.
That was like 20 years ago, butwe still get stopped more or
less every single time.
In April of this year we triedto go to France with my husband
(04:35):
for his work, and the kids gotdenied boarding because their
passports were one day shy ofbeing valid for three months,
which apparently was arequirement and I didn't know
about it because we don'tusually travel to Paris.
So we waved hubby throughsecurity and went home, only to
get strep and be laid up for aweek and a half anyway.
Then last year around this timeI tried to go to Ohio for a
(04:56):
work retreat and my flight wascanceled and rebooked so many
times that by the time theysettled on a departure date, I
would have gotten there afterthe retreat was over and I ended
up on hold for 36 hoursSeriously, 36 hours.
Yes, I kept track, trying toget my money back.
One of those calls.
I was on hold for five hoursand then I got disconnected
(05:16):
before I even got to talk toanybody.
So yeah, we've had someexperiences that have caused me
stress.
Anyway, after the third delay,sitting there in the airport,
they said the aircraft neededmaintenance, then they needed a
new plane and then they couldn'tfind one and then they just
canceled our flight.
So cue the chaos Everybody inthe departure lounge is up in
(05:38):
arms.
My little little little hasbeen up for more than 12 hours
at this point probably close to14 hours, and that's after about
an hour and a half of sleep andshe decides this is the moment
she's gonna pass out and it hasto be on my shoulder.
So now hubby is navigating bothcustomer service at the end of
the terminal and the gate agentat our gate.
(05:58):
Long story, longer.
They rebooked us the nextmorning.
They put us up in a hotel forthe night no luggage, same
clothes we were wearing.
We slept in and then had to getour asses back to the airport
at stupid o'clock in the morningI think it was like 4 am
Everyone's pissy, everyone'stired, sweaty and the airport
food obviously is super gross.
Anyway, we made it to Raleighand it wasn't anything that a
(06:20):
shower and a good night's sleepcouldn't fix.
So we've been here in NorthCarolina for a little over a
week and the pace is sowonderfully slow.
I mean I can't imagine it beinganything but in this heat.
Because, like, how do y'alllive in this heat?
I have no idea.
And even though I have mylaptop here and I am technically
working, there are peoplearound me having fun and
(06:42):
chilling, and I want a piece ofthat.
Normally, on family holidays oron vacations, I feel the need to
book activities and make surewe have something to do every
single day, or it's quoteunquote wasted time, and
sometimes, when you're withfamily, it's just, it's
stressful because you want tomake sure you're visiting
everybody and you want to makesure one has a chance to, you
(07:03):
know, meet with you.
Most often we travel over toengland, where my husband's from
, and so, because it's you know,a long time in between visits,
we do have to see a lot ofpeople and so it just feels like
we're constantly on all thetime.
I'm not gonna lie, but thistime around we haven't had
anything planned and I'veactually just spent a lot of
time relaxing at home and takinga super slow pace to the day,
(07:27):
and if the kids wanted to dosomething, we'd go to a park or
we'd go to, like you know, checksomething out, but there wasn't
like a lot of stuff, right, notgonna lie, I thought I'd
struggle, but with every day ofnothing that has passed, I have
felt my stress decrease and mybreathing become deeper.
Seriously, it's something Ididn't even realize I needed.
(07:49):
Maybe it's just my personality,you know, but I have a hard
time letting go and relaxing.
I feel like I constantly haveto be on, I have to be on alert,
I have to be productive.
I mean, I might do an episodeone week on the whole concept of
productivity because, let metell you and I know some of it
(08:09):
is residual stress from theflight and, you know, losing a
day of work and that's in airquotes, by the way, all of that
made me feel some kind of wayand I've talked about it before
on the podcast about how mycorporate programming and my
upbringing, it really trained me.
It ingrained in me that myworth was equated to my output
or how hard I worked.
(08:30):
And sitting in the southern sunwith nothing to do because,
quite frankly, I didn't have theenergy it really gave me the
space to remember that therewasn't anything I could have
done about the flight situation.
There was nothing I could havedone about the missed day of
work and, honestly, I wasentitled to rest.
So I had to very, veryintentionally remind myself that
(08:53):
was okay to do QT yesterday.
I was starting to make plans inmy head.
You know, we're gonna leavetoday at 6 am.
We're gonna be home by noon.
I was gonna get the laundry on,arrange for groceries, watch
those videos in that one programI was in before they get taken
down in two days, prep for myworkday back in the office.
And then the text came throughcanceled flight, right?
(09:16):
I mean by now, I should expectit, but it always comes as a
little bit of like right.
So, yeah, by now we should beon a plane, but they rebooked us
for tomorrow and they've addedan extra leg to our journey.
So now we're actually goingfrom Raleigh to Charlotte and
then to Toronto and,surprisingly, I was fine about
(09:37):
it.
You know, when you really thinkabout it, we actually have
control over so very little, andall of those people getting
angry at the gate attendants andcustomer service reps was
wasted energy, because there'sliterally nothing any of them
can do either.
I'm not saying that we don'thave high expectations or that
we don't strive to do our best,but there are times and
(09:59):
situations where we literallyhave zero control, and with so
little control right now overthings like the economy,
interest rates, climate change,housing prices, the price of
food, you know, things thatmatter I'm seeing people, me
included, having a strangleholdover those things that are more
within our control, because itfeels like we're doing something
(10:22):
.
And I think a lot of us arejust tired of feeling powerless
and we want to stop feelingpowerless, because that's what
it comes down to.
Nobody wants to feel powerless.
It's scary, it's terrifying tothink that you literally cannot
affect change or cannot affectthe outcome of something that
you depend on.
And because we can't control thebig things, I'm seeing people
(10:44):
holding on to other things rightin the business space.
I'm seeing people doubling downon sales calls, content
creation, the number of coffeechats they're open to taking.
I'm seeing people gettingreally aggressive during those
sales calls.
I'm noticing more scarcitytactics than normal.
And, yes, when things get tough, it's normal to double down and
(11:04):
work harder and make more of aneffort.
There's nothing inherentlywrong with that.
But using manipulative tacticslike you don't want it badly
enough when people literallycannot afford to pay you, is
about as effective as screamingat a gate agent that you're
going to miss your connectionbecause they're not able to pull
a plane out of their ass.
And it's this increased hustlein the online business space
(11:25):
that is really taking on renewedvigor, but now with an
undercurrent of desperation anda lack of empathy, and I'm also
seeing a lot of people on theedge as a burnout, feeling
disillusioned, feelingoverwhelmed, feeling worried for
the future.
And I see you, I feel you, I'mwith you in all of it.
And I'm also here to remind youthat we literally don't have
(11:48):
any control over any of that.
We can't control how muchpeople will spend or how much
they will buy, or when or atwhat price point.
We can't control whether we'regoing to fill our programs, no
matter what the gurus tell you,and, honestly, no one can
guarantee sold out programs orservices.
So please stay wary of thosepromises when you see them.
(12:11):
There's no secret to any of it.
You're not missing anything.
We're living in a wild andcrazy time where things are just
uncertain and unsettled and theonly thing we really have any
control over is how we respondto it all and how we show up in
the face of it all.
I know a fair number of youwonderful humans listening out
(12:31):
there are from traditionalworkplace and environments and
backgrounds maybe a corporatebackground and you're similar to
me in that when things gettough, you throw yourself into
your work because that you cancontrol right your output, and
I'm here to remind you that youdon't have to, because working
harder doesn't actually changewhat's going on around you.
(12:51):
So what do you do?
Well, you get to let go.
In fact, this is the perfectopportunity to practice letting
go of things.
And now I get it.
When people here let go, a lotof them assume I'm talking about
you know, let it go as in, dropit or stop worrying about it.
I'm not naive Me.
Telling you to stop worryingabout interest rates or housing
(13:12):
prices or the price of saladisn't going to make you suddenly
go.
Oh okay, thanks, and live alife of blissful ignorance.
I get it.
That's not what I mean when Isay let go.
I'm saying be more intentionalabout where you're putting your
energy, because it's in suchlimited supply right now.
So what can you let go of tocreate even a little space and
(13:33):
ease and maybe even a little bitof rest in your life?
Could you let go of control ofsomething in your business, like
, maybe, how often you'reposting or how many calls you
take?
Could you maybe let go ofperfectionism or maybe
unrealistic expectations, ormaybe let go of a rigid work
(13:56):
schedule, or maybe even let goof the idea that rest is a
reward when really it's arequirement.
How do you know if you couldstand to let go of something?
Well, how do you feel on a dayto day basis?
Do you constantly feel likeyou're under pressure and that
(14:19):
you're letting things slip away?
Do you find yourself gettingannoyed or irritated by everyday
things?
Do you find yourself wanting tomake irrational or extreme
business decisions?
You know whether it'sfrantically searching for a
magic bullet to make it allbetter or feeling like you want
to burn it down and run.
Are you afraid to put yourphone down or walk away from
your laptop in case you misssomething that could help?
(14:40):
These are just some of thefeelings that are key indicators
that you need to let go ofsomething and maybe rest and
recalibrate.
Now don't at me, okay, I'm notsaying we just throw caution to
the wind and never worry aboutanything again and adopt a come
what may attitude toward utterlyeverything.
We all have bills to pay andput food on the table.
I get it, and you're allowed torest.
(15:03):
You're allowed to create easeand space in your life by
reminding yourself it'snecessary.
You do not have to earn it, andit's in slowing down that you
come to see where you can let goof things that aren't serving
you, you come to see what isn'tfor you and you come to see what
really matters.
(15:23):
It sounds cliche, but havingslowed down and let go of the
self-imposed schedule I putmyself on at home has actually
yielded some really intriguingclarity.
And instead of pushing myselfto make something of the clarity
you know, forcing it tocrystallize into a new offer or
to immediately start creatingcontent around it, I'm letting
(15:45):
it sit.
I'm not forcing it, which isalso a beautiful way of letting
go, letting go of the need forit to make sense right now or to
come together right now, beforeit's time.
Part of it is the fact that mybrain won't allow it.
Really, you know, when I can'tfocus, I try harder, I push, I
force and I force myself to sitthere until I figure it out.
But right now my brain is likefuck that shit.
(16:05):
I'm taking a break, so I'mletting it.
And that brings me back to thisepisode.
I'm sitting in the front yard,noise all around me.
I say noise.
It's like the noise of nature,the noise of life.
It's funny how we call thatnoise when it's just life.
You know, I stressed for daysabout finding a quiet space in
the house, which is impossiblewith five kids and people living
(16:27):
a life and I realized I caneither skip a week which I
didn't really want to do becauseone of my goals is to record 50
episodes by the end of the yearor I can record and just be
okay with the fact there'sbackground noise.
This week Done is better thanperfect, yes, but peace of mind
is even better.
(16:47):
Look, I love my podcast.
I'm really enjoying it and Idon't want it to become a chore.
I don't want to be so rigidabout how it has to be that I
stop enjoying it, and so todayI'm letting go about how it
sounds and I want you to startthinking about what you can let
go of to make what you do moreenjoyable.
(17:09):
Either stay enjoyable or startbeing enjoyable, whether it's
how you show up on social, howyou price your offers, how you
share your content or work withclients, how you structure your
day, where you take breaks, oreven just how you run your
business in general.
Now, couple of that with theaudit that I shared in last
(17:30):
week's episode, and we're at awonderfully, wonderfully
wonderful crossroads ofredesigning how we want to run
our businesses, how we want toshow up how we want to move
forward with everything.
And if you haven't listened yet, I highly recommend going back
and doing the audit from lastweek.
So that's my invitation to youtoday.
Where can you let go and restso that you can redefine or
(17:53):
reorient what your businesslooks like as we move into the
fall?
And if you're looking forsomeone to help support you in
redesigning your CEO activitiesand your day to day so that you
are intentional and focused andnot stuck in forced work or busy
work, book a call or send me amessage with the word ease.
I don't always advertise them,but I always have space for
(18:15):
people interested in quick sparkstrategy sessions where we look
at your day and we align yourto-dos to be more intentional
and impactful, withoutincreasing your output or how
much bandwidth you're using.
And, as always, come, hang outin the Facebook community and
share with me what you'reletting go of.
Maybe it'll inspire others todo things a little differently
(18:35):
too.
And, honestly, that's all I'vegot the bandwidth for this week,
so I'll cap it off with theloudest truth I can utter you
can have success without the BS,and I'll talk to you soon.
Stop building the business everyone tells you you
should build and build thebusiness you deserve.
Business Blast for Me issponsored by Corporate Rehab
Strategic Consulting, creatorsof the Entrepreneur Growth
Hierarchy, the proprietarymethod for helping you identify
the precise conditions you needto meet to sustainably scale
your business to the next levelof growth, without
overcomplicating things orgetting caught up in the
(00:20):
bullshit.
If you're ready to find outexactly what your business needs
from you, grab a free 30-minuteassessment today.
Details are in the show notes.
Welcome to the Business Blastfor Me podcast, where we
question the sacred truths ofthe online business space and
the reverence with which they'reheld.
I'm your host, sarah Kahn,speaker, strategic consultant
(00:41):
and BS busting badass.
Join me each week as wechallenge the norms, trends and
overall bullshit status quo ofentrepreneurship to uncover what
it really takes to build thebusiness that you want to build
in a way that honors you, yourlife and your vision for what's
possible, and maybe piss off afew gurus along the way.
So if you're ready to commitBusiness Blast for Me, let's do
it.
(01:04):
Hello, hello, blasphemers.
You know there is nothing likeair travel these days to truly
teach you how little is in yourcontrol.
Ok, I want to preface thisweek's episode with a little
apology.
We are in North Carolina thisweek visiting family and I don't
have my fancy mic or my quietoffice to record in, so the
(01:27):
audio quality is going to behowever it is.
Cars are going to drive by,birds are going to chirp and
there's not a lot I can do aboutit.
So I am sorry if the chaos ofbackground noise makes this
episode difficult or annoying tolisten to, and actually it's
the perfect backdrop for thisweek's episode, which will make
sense momentarily.
(01:47):
If you've traveled at all sincethe pandemic, you'll notice
something about air travel.
It's shit.
No one gets anywhere withoutdelays, sometimes multiple
delays, or canceled flights, orsitting on the tarmac or being
stuck in stifling airports forhours on end with no customer
service, only to be given like a$10 voucher as compensation.
(02:09):
Hi, have you seen the price ofa bottle of water?
$10 isn't going to go far.
Well, that's exactly how thistrip to North Carolina started
out.
We got ourselves out of bed at2 30 am to get to the airport by
3, 3, 15.
We had a 5 30 flight to Toronto.
We got there enormous line likethe full length of the
(02:29):
departures hall.
How many people fly at 5 30 amon a Thursday.
Hundreds, the flight was fulland, yeah, it wasn't the only
flight.
But let's be honest, you know,damn, you walk in and there's a
massive line the entire lengthof the departures hall.
So with myself, my husband, twokids, until we got in line, we
waited.
I even tried the kiosks about30 minutes in to see if we could
(02:50):
check in that way, but no, itwasn't having it.
We have really great luck withkiosks.
It never lets us check in thatway.
So about 40 minutes or so laterwe're at the desk and we get
checked in.
We get to the gate, there's aminor delay and of course that
early almost nothing is open.
And now the kids are gettinghungry.
So I nipped to the only thingthat is open at that end of the
airport, a Tim Hortons.
(03:11):
Well, everyone else had thesame idea.
So I'm waiting for our orderbecause of course at that time
no one wants just a donut.
They all want to cook breakfastsandwich or hash brown.
So you know I'm waiting in line.
Then they call our flight whileI'm in line.
Now cue the stress, stress thatis already adding to the stress
that already have Just having,you know, woken up early and not
(03:31):
having had a lot of sleep andjust the idea of having to fly
that early with kids, I made it.
It wasn't a big deal.
We fly the two and a half hoursto Toronto and then we have a
three hour layover.
We get through security, we getthrough US customs and walk, I
think, to the ass end of theairport, like literally gate
F-99.
And we park it, we get somefood, coffee, chill, then the
(03:53):
flight's delayed.
Of course it is why wouldn't itbe?
And then it's delayed again andthen it's delayed a third time,
keeping in mind I have twokiddos who have also been up
since two o'clock in the morning, and I don't do well when we
travel because I get stressedout almost the minute we leave,
worried about getting everywhereon time, how we're gonna get
through security, making sureeveryone's comfortable, making
(04:14):
sure we actually make it.
We've had some challenges in thepast, and particularly over the
last year, with travel.
First of all, my husband getsflagged every time we go
anywhere.
He shares a name with someonewho's on a no fly list somewhere
, which is stupid.
That was like 20 years ago, butwe still get stopped more or
less every single time.
In April of this year we triedto go to France with my husband
(04:35):
for his work, and the kids gotdenied boarding because their
passports were one day shy ofbeing valid for three months,
which apparently was arequirement and I didn't know
about it because we don'tusually travel to Paris.
So we waved hubby throughsecurity and went home, only to
get strep and be laid up for aweek and a half anyway.
Then last year around this timeI tried to go to Ohio for a
(04:56):
work retreat and my flight wascanceled and rebooked so many
times that by the time theysettled on a departure date, I
would have gotten there afterthe retreat was over and I ended
up on hold for 36 hoursSeriously, 36 hours.
Yes, I kept track, trying toget my money back.
One of those calls.
I was on hold for five hoursand then I got disconnected
(05:16):
before I even got to talk toanybody.
So yeah, we've had someexperiences that have caused me
stress.
Anyway, after the third delay,sitting there in the airport,
they said the aircraft neededmaintenance, then they needed a
new plane and then they couldn'tfind one and then they just
canceled our flight.
So cue the chaos Everybody inthe departure lounge is up in
(05:38):
arms.
My little little little hasbeen up for more than 12 hours
at this point probably close to14 hours, and that's after about
an hour and a half of sleep andshe decides this is the moment
she's gonna pass out and it hasto be on my shoulder.
So now hubby is navigating bothcustomer service at the end of
the terminal and the gate agentat our gate.
(05:58):
Long story, longer.
They rebooked us the nextmorning.
They put us up in a hotel forthe night no luggage, same
clothes we were wearing.
We slept in and then had to getour asses back to the airport
at stupid o'clock in the morningI think it was like 4 am
Everyone's pissy, everyone'stired, sweaty and the airport
food obviously is super gross.
Anyway, we made it to Raleighand it wasn't anything that a
(06:20):
shower and a good night's sleepcouldn't fix.
So we've been here in NorthCarolina for a little over a
week and the pace is sowonderfully slow.
I mean I can't imagine it beinganything but in this heat.
Because, like, how do y'alllive in this heat?
I have no idea.
And even though I have mylaptop here and I am technically
working, there are peoplearound me having fun and
(06:42):
chilling, and I want a piece ofthat.
Normally, on family holidays oron vacations, I feel the need to
book activities and make surewe have something to do every
single day, or it's quoteunquote wasted time, and
sometimes, when you're withfamily, it's just, it's
stressful because you want tomake sure you're visiting
everybody and you want to makesure one has a chance to, you
(07:03):
know, meet with you.
Most often we travel over toengland, where my husband's from
, and so, because it's you know,a long time in between visits,
we do have to see a lot ofpeople and so it just feels like
we're constantly on all thetime.
I'm not gonna lie, but thistime around we haven't had
anything planned and I'veactually just spent a lot of
time relaxing at home and takinga super slow pace to the day,
(07:27):
and if the kids wanted to dosomething, we'd go to a park or
we'd go to, like you know, checksomething out, but there wasn't
like a lot of stuff, right, notgonna lie, I thought I'd
struggle, but with every day ofnothing that has passed, I have
felt my stress decrease and mybreathing become deeper.
Seriously, it's something Ididn't even realize I needed.
(07:49):
Maybe it's just my personality,you know, but I have a hard
time letting go and relaxing.
I feel like I constantly haveto be on, I have to be on alert,
I have to be productive.
I mean, I might do an episodeone week on the whole concept of
productivity because, let metell you and I know some of it
(08:09):
is residual stress from theflight and, you know, losing a
day of work and that's in airquotes, by the way, all of that
made me feel some kind of wayand I've talked about it before
on the podcast about how mycorporate programming and my
upbringing, it really trained me.
It ingrained in me that myworth was equated to my output
or how hard I worked.
(08:30):
And sitting in the southern sunwith nothing to do because,
quite frankly, I didn't have theenergy it really gave me the
space to remember that therewasn't anything I could have
done about the flight situation.
There was nothing I could havedone about the missed day of
work and, honestly, I wasentitled to rest.
So I had to very, veryintentionally remind myself that
(08:53):
was okay to do QT yesterday.
I was starting to make plans inmy head.
You know, we're gonna leavetoday at 6 am.
We're gonna be home by noon.
I was gonna get the laundry on,arrange for groceries, watch
those videos in that one programI was in before they get taken
down in two days, prep for myworkday back in the office.
And then the text came throughcanceled flight, right?
(09:16):
I mean by now, I should expectit, but it always comes as a
little bit of like right.
So, yeah, by now we should beon a plane, but they rebooked us
for tomorrow and they've addedan extra leg to our journey.
So now we're actually goingfrom Raleigh to Charlotte and
then to Toronto and,surprisingly, I was fine about
(09:37):
it.
You know, when you really thinkabout it, we actually have
control over so very little, andall of those people getting
angry at the gate attendants andcustomer service reps was
wasted energy, because there'sliterally nothing any of them
can do either.
I'm not saying that we don'thave high expectations or that
we don't strive to do our best,but there are times and
(09:59):
situations where we literallyhave zero control, and with so
little control right now overthings like the economy,
interest rates, climate change,housing prices, the price of
food, you know, things thatmatter I'm seeing people, me
included, having a strangleholdover those things that are more
within our control, because itfeels like we're doing something
(10:22):
.
And I think a lot of us arejust tired of feeling powerless
and we want to stop feelingpowerless, because that's what
it comes down to.
Nobody wants to feel powerless.
It's scary, it's terrifying tothink that you literally cannot
affect change or cannot affectthe outcome of something that
you depend on.
And because we can't control thebig things, I'm seeing people
(10:44):
holding on to other things rightin the business space.
I'm seeing people doubling downon sales calls, content
creation, the number of coffeechats they're open to taking.
I'm seeing people gettingreally aggressive during those
sales calls.
I'm noticing more scarcitytactics than normal.
And, yes, when things get tough, it's normal to double down and
(11:04):
work harder and make more of aneffort.
There's nothing inherentlywrong with that.
But using manipulative tacticslike you don't want it badly
enough when people literallycannot afford to pay you, is
about as effective as screamingat a gate agent that you're
going to miss your connectionbecause they're not able to pull
a plane out of their ass.
And it's this increased hustlein the online business space
(11:25):
that is really taking on renewedvigor, but now with an
undercurrent of desperation anda lack of empathy, and I'm also
seeing a lot of people on theedge as a burnout, feeling
disillusioned, feelingoverwhelmed, feeling worried for
the future.
And I see you, I feel you, I'mwith you in all of it.
And I'm also here to remind youthat we literally don't have
(11:48):
any control over any of that.
We can't control how muchpeople will spend or how much
they will buy, or when or atwhat price point.
We can't control whether we'regoing to fill our programs, no
matter what the gurus tell you,and, honestly, no one can
guarantee sold out programs orservices.
So please stay wary of thosepromises when you see them.
(12:11):
There's no secret to any of it.
You're not missing anything.
We're living in a wild andcrazy time where things are just
uncertain and unsettled and theonly thing we really have any
control over is how we respondto it all and how we show up in
the face of it all.
I know a fair number of youwonderful humans listening out
(12:31):
there are from traditionalworkplace and environments and
backgrounds maybe a corporatebackground and you're similar to
me in that when things gettough, you throw yourself into
your work because that you cancontrol right your output, and
I'm here to remind you that youdon't have to, because working
harder doesn't actually changewhat's going on around you.
(12:51):
So what do you do?
Well, you get to let go.
In fact, this is the perfectopportunity to practice letting
go of things.
And now I get it.
When people here let go, a lotof them assume I'm talking about
you know, let it go as in, dropit or stop worrying about it.
I'm not naive Me.
Telling you to stop worryingabout interest rates or housing
(13:12):
prices or the price of saladisn't going to make you suddenly
go.
Oh okay, thanks, and live alife of blissful ignorance.
I get it.
That's not what I mean when Isay let go.
I'm saying be more intentionalabout where you're putting your
energy, because it's in suchlimited supply right now.
So what can you let go of tocreate even a little space and
(13:33):
ease and maybe even a little bitof rest in your life?
Could you let go of control ofsomething in your business, like
, maybe, how often you'reposting or how many calls you
take?
Could you maybe let go ofperfectionism or maybe
unrealistic expectations, ormaybe let go of a rigid work
(13:56):
schedule, or maybe even let goof the idea that rest is a
reward when really it's arequirement.
How do you know if you couldstand to let go of something?
Well, how do you feel on a dayto day basis?
Do you constantly feel likeyou're under pressure and that
(14:19):
you're letting things slip away?
Do you find yourself gettingannoyed or irritated by everyday
things?
Do you find yourself wanting tomake irrational or extreme
business decisions?
You know whether it'sfrantically searching for a
magic bullet to make it allbetter or feeling like you want
to burn it down and run.
Are you afraid to put yourphone down or walk away from
your laptop in case you misssomething that could help?
(14:40):
These are just some of thefeelings that are key indicators
that you need to let go ofsomething and maybe rest and
recalibrate.
Now don't at me, okay, I'm notsaying we just throw caution to
the wind and never worry aboutanything again and adopt a come
what may attitude toward utterlyeverything.
We all have bills to pay andput food on the table.
I get it, and you're allowed torest.
(15:03):
You're allowed to create easeand space in your life by
reminding yourself it'snecessary.
You do not have to earn it, andit's in slowing down that you
come to see where you can let goof things that aren't serving
you, you come to see what isn'tfor you and you come to see what
really matters.
(15:23):
It sounds cliche, but havingslowed down and let go of the
self-imposed schedule I putmyself on at home has actually
yielded some really intriguingclarity.
And instead of pushing myselfto make something of the clarity
you know, forcing it tocrystallize into a new offer or
to immediately start creatingcontent around it, I'm letting
(15:45):
it sit.
I'm not forcing it, which isalso a beautiful way of letting
go, letting go of the need forit to make sense right now or to
come together right now, beforeit's time.
Part of it is the fact that mybrain won't allow it.
Really, you know, when I can'tfocus, I try harder, I push, I
force and I force myself to sitthere until I figure it out.
But right now my brain is likefuck that shit.
(16:05):
I'm taking a break, so I'mletting it.
And that brings me back to thisepisode.
I'm sitting in the front yard,noise all around me.
I say noise.
It's like the noise of nature,the noise of life.
It's funny how we call thatnoise when it's just life.
You know, I stressed for daysabout finding a quiet space in
the house, which is impossiblewith five kids and people living
(16:27):
a life and I realized I caneither skip a week which I
didn't really want to do becauseone of my goals is to record 50
episodes by the end of the yearor I can record and just be
okay with the fact there'sbackground noise.
This week Done is better thanperfect, yes, but peace of mind
is even better.
(16:47):
Look, I love my podcast.
I'm really enjoying it and Idon't want it to become a chore.
I don't want to be so rigidabout how it has to be that I
stop enjoying it, and so todayI'm letting go about how it
sounds and I want you to startthinking about what you can let
go of to make what you do moreenjoyable.
(17:09):
Either stay enjoyable or startbeing enjoyable, whether it's
how you show up on social, howyou price your offers, how you
share your content or work withclients, how you structure your
day, where you take breaks, oreven just how you run your
business in general.
Now, couple of that with theaudit that I shared in last
(17:30):
week's episode, and we're at awonderfully, wonderfully
wonderful crossroads ofredesigning how we want to run
our businesses, how we want toshow up how we want to move
forward with everything.
And if you haven't listened yet, I highly recommend going back
and doing the audit from lastweek.
So that's my invitation to youtoday.
Where can you let go and restso that you can redefine or
(17:53):
reorient what your businesslooks like as we move into the
fall?
And if you're looking forsomeone to help support you in
redesigning your CEO activitiesand your day to day so that you
are intentional and focused andnot stuck in forced work or busy
work, book a call or send me amessage with the word ease.
I don't always advertise them,but I always have space for
(18:15):
people interested in quick sparkstrategy sessions where we look
at your day and we align yourto-dos to be more intentional
and impactful, withoutincreasing your output or how
much bandwidth you're using.
And, as always, come, hang outin the Facebook community and
share with me what you'reletting go of.
Maybe it'll inspire others todo things a little differently
(18:35):
too.
And, honestly, that's all I'vegot the bandwidth for this week,
so I'll cap it off with theloudest truth I can utter you
can have success without the BS,and I'll talk to you soon.
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