November 3, 2025 • 33 mins
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We’re mastering business, money, and personal growth — but why does business success often mean that high-achievers feel empty in love?
We live in a world that glorifies hustle and independence. Myself included, many of us believe there is a reward for doing everything on our own. Meet Suzanne Raja, co-founder of WarriorSage, who looks at what happens when success comes at the cost of our connection to ourselves and our partner and family.
In this episode of the Business Growth Architect Show: Founders of the Future, Suzanne explores what it means to be powerful and feminine — to lead without losing softness, to love without surrendering yourself, and to rediscover the intimacy that gets buried under achievement.
On whether or not you or your partner is the more successful one, success often means friction in our relationships. This conversation will open your eyes to what’s really missing.
👉 Learn more about Suzanne’s work: https://warriorsage.com
➡ ️ Subscribe for more raw, thought-provoking conversations that challenge how we define success, love, and leadership.
Other Resources Mentioned:
Suzanne Raja: LinkedIn | YouTube | Instagram
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
BEATE CHELETTE (00:01):
You can succeed in everything in life, your
business with money, but starvein your relationship
Suzanne Raja (00:11):
when you're doing things from a place of automatic
this is where things go all overthe place. He's the King and I
am a queen. In the relationship,there is only one queen, and
that queen is me. I wondered, AmI valuable? I had moments where
(00:34):
I felt not good enough. Go backto the source of life itself.
Spend some time in nature, andyou will start to find yourself
when we're not feeling pleasurein our own bodies. It's
difficult for you to engage withothers.
BEATE CHELETTE (00:59):
Suzanne, you say that you can succeed in
everything in life, yourbusiness with money, but
starving your relationship. Whydo people do that?
Suzanne Raja (01:11):
Priorities or lack of priority, lack of the right
priorities? You know, it'spriorities come from actually
tuning in to really what is themost, what is the truest place
for me to move, what is the mostaligned to who I am, and
(01:36):
following that impulse, what amI really about, what do I value
when you when you're not tuninginto that we're not taking the
time to breathe, taking the timewith yourself, go inside, and
everything else is moreimportant. Everything else you
(01:56):
gotta, gotta go there. You don'ttake the moment to tune in, then
you start to act from automatic.
And when you're doing thingsfrom a place of automatic, this
is where things go all over theplace. It's about coming back
and rooting in and aligning yourlife with the deepest part of
you and your priorities willcome from that place, and you
(02:22):
follow that.
BEATE CHELETTE (02:25):
You know, I always say that when people
don't find balance, that there'sonly three things you can blow
up in your life, that's yourhealth, your relationship, or
your business. And I see a lotof people blow up their
relationship. Is it that peopledon't value the relationship? Or
do men and women have differentvalues as they go into
relationships? And what I meanby that is I have noticed that
(02:46):
men have a harder time tocommit, but once they commit,
sometimes it feels like that'sit. They're done. They don't
need to do anything more. Whatare you noticing in your work on
how these dynamics work?
Suzanne Raja (02:58):
I notice whether it's men or women. They are not
coming back and tuning in whatis deepest in their soul and
aligning their life with that.
When one does not do that, whenone does not take the time and,
you know, maybe wake up, one ofmy practices is I wake up extra
early in the morning beforeevery before the consciousness
(03:20):
of the world, before theconsciousness of my home arises,
I make sure that I go to bed ata certain time so that I can
have enough rest, so that I amup at least two hours before
everyone else wakes up, so thatI can tune back into what is,
what really matters, listeningto that voice inside of me
(03:47):
that's very faint, that says,okay, yes, go here. No, this
that. It's just very simplelistening to that, listening to
the inside, and not getting lostin the noise. I feel that when
we get lost in the noise, thatis when relationships go awry.
(04:09):
We make mistakes, we do and saythings that are not in alignment
with who we are. Invest the timein ourselves and in our deepest,
the deepest part of us that hasthe truth of the way we need to
be, the way we need to beshowing up in the world for
(04:30):
ourselves and for our partnersand for etc, etc, etc, and so
on. But it starts at home.
BEATE CHELETTE (04:41):
So I have to ask this question, because you are
married to a very powerful man,hmm, and a very masculine
powerful man, yes. How do youreclaim your femininity? Or, how
do you, I don't say stand. Up toit, because that would be the
(05:01):
wrong terminology. But how doyou keep your part of this
equally strong without itsquashing?
Suzanne Raja (05:07):
You? Love that question. So you know, again,
it's going back to the time thatI take for myself, the time that
I invest in myself. I spend alot of time in nature. I spend a
lot of time moving my body,coming into my body, learning
about my body, enjoying my body,valuing who I am and what I
(05:32):
bring. I'm a queen in thisrelationship. He's the King and
I am a queen in therelationship. There is no battle
whatsoever. In fact, there isonly one queen, and that queen
is me. And when I remember, whenI forget that, then, you know,
(05:52):
I'm forgetting myself. I'veforgotten to take time for me,
but the time that I take and Iremember who I am. There's
absolutely no battle. It'smaking love all the time. It's
like, oh, okay, yeah, there's myking over there. Oh, be as
powerful and rise as high as youyou rise. Because as you're
(06:14):
rising, I am also rising. I canonly rise. The Queen only rises,
She only becomes the best partof herself, and continues to do
that and takes everyone withher, uplifts everyone with her.
She's a blessing for her king.
She is so valuable for him.
(06:38):
She's his app, the absoluteapple of his eye when she
remembers who she is, and that'swhat I do. A real queen is one
who comes from underneath andawakens and inspires and brings
everyone with her in joy, inpleasure, in love, in life. And
(06:59):
so there is so much going on forme. I have no time to look over
there and say, I mean, it's notas exciting. He's got his thing
that he's doing so well. What Ihave to do in my life, what I'm
enjoying, what I have the greatgift and the pleasure to be I'm
I have too much time enjoyingthat and fulfilling my role as
(07:24):
the Queen in the relationship,that there is no battle. It's a
joy. It's a dance, actually,it's a tango, if you really want
to get to that
BEATE CHELETTE (07:37):
now that have like 10,000 questions, something
tells me it's not always beenlike this. You're not a
princess, you're not themistress, you're a queen. Were
you always a queen? Or did youhave to get to the real
realization that you are a queenand step into that and claim
that for yourself?
Suzanne Raja (07:53):
Yes, and yes. So I was always the Queen, but I
didn't realize that I was thequeen. At times, there were
times, especially as in our inour life, where I was the stay
at home mom, the one who tookcare of the home. And oh, what a
(08:15):
what a beautiful thing. That is,I didn't realize my worth there,
I would look to see other women,let's say that were out, working
outside of the home, and theywere successful in my eyes. And
I felt like, well, I'm What am Idoing? I'm not really X, Y or Z.
(08:40):
And I would watch as my husbandwould rise in his power, and he
would try to take me along. Andhe did. He actually took me to
help me to get to the place ofanother iteration of my life
where I'm not only working athome, but I'm working outside of
(09:00):
the home. But as he rose in hissuccess, in his power and his
recognition outside of the home,I I wondered, Am I valuable? I
had moments where I felt notgood enough, and there are times
where I forget we're human, thatI feel not good enough. And yes,
(09:23):
I did have that early on, and ittook a strain on myself, on our
relationship, and in my abilityto step on to do the next part
of my of my offering, of mygiving, because I didn't feel
like I had anything to give, andso I stayed small for a while.
(09:46):
But with my husband, he Icouldn't stay small for too
long.
BEATE CHELETTE (09:50):
Was just gonna say, that's a tough thought. He
strikes me as somebody wants totake as many people with him as
he possibly can.
Suzanne Raja (09:58):
Absolutely. He, and he's such a beautiful man,
that he always saw me. He alwayssaw me, and he always said that
you are so you're incredible.
You have so much to offer. Lookat what you do. He would praise
me constantly, but I couldn'thear it when I didn't go inside
and find that in myself. Icouldn't hear anybody's gifting
(10:20):
of words to me until I foundthat in myself that's
BEATE CHELETTE (10:27):
so beautiful. I want to ask this question now
about did you have to unlearnany patterns and re establish
those patterns? Because I thinkour audience probably goes she
sounds amazing. She sounds likeshe's a powerful woman with a
powerful man. How do I getthere? What are the patterns we
need to unlearn?
Suzanne Raja (10:48):
There's so many patterns I can speak about
having a very powerful in avoice mother and mother in law
and women in my world that havethat I've looked to and thought
I need to be strong andpowerful, as well as my husband.
(11:11):
I need to climb. I need to asstrong as he is, I need to be
strong too. I need to this andthis, and that's a pattern of
insecurity and not recognizingwho you are. And that's
something that I had to break. Ihad to instead of looking to
Him, and as he rises, think,well, I have to keep up.
(11:33):
Instead, I had to turn the viewback to myself and find me
again, and that's one of thethings that I really find in my
work. Women who have forgottento resource. I call it resource.
(11:55):
You've heard the word resource,well, it's resource. Go back to
the source of where you comefrom, go back to the source of
life itself. Spend some time innature. Be with nature, and that
nature will teach you how towake up to who you are, to spend
time in the quiet and watch,watch as the radiant sunlight
(12:21):
attracts you into life. Watch asthe green of the grass is
growing or it's or it's goinginto hibernation. Watch those
things breathe that in, attuneto nature, as if you would
attune to an instrument, and youwill start to find yourself
(12:41):
again. We have lost touch withthat, and it's time to remember.
And that's a very simple waythat your breath returning to
your breath coming back to thatthese little things, they're
simple, but they're potent.
They're powerful resourcinggoing back to the source of
(13:03):
life, and that will change thepattern that is so unnatural
these days. It will bring youback. Do you think that
BEATE CHELETTE (13:19):
many women are forced by society or the
patterns that have beenestablished around us to be too
much in their masculine energy.
And I'm totally speaking aboutmyself. I mean, I've been I've
lived in my masculine energy formost of my life, and it wasn't
until I met this man who, verymuch like yours, a very
(13:40):
powerful, very masculine man.
And I realized we can't have twoalphas, two alpha males in the
same relationship. But how do wehow do we help women to find joy
and pleasure not being in thealpha male when all it seems
(14:00):
like that's being rewarded.
Suzanne Raja (14:02):
Yes, yes. We have to get away and be with each
other in pleasure, times ofpleasure that have nothing to do
with the mind, our absolute,brilliant mind that's there, our
brilliant capacity to make wavesand do amazing things. We we are
(14:26):
capable of that and so much moregreat. We've sharpened that it's
time to get away and be togetherin community with women. We've
left the village. It's aboutgetting together, retreating,
escaping with with women, andspeaking about love, speaking
(14:49):
about pleasure, getting intobody massage, walking in nature
together, just I mean. Simplethings like that, listening to
music together, dancingtogether. It's
counterproductive. It's not whatyou do when you're going out
(15:10):
there and you're using the mindand you're on your laptop and
you got to get that projecttogether. It can take you into a
spin. You have to set time tostep away, you have to set time
to do frivolous things. Take outan art book, take out some
crayons, play some music, sitback and color. That alone will
(15:35):
take you away. There's so manythings that you can do to just
come away from the mind and beamongst other women. Stay out of
the head, and when they start toget into the head, get into some
body practices, where you'reyou're dancing, you're in
movement, you're you're enjoyingthe senses together. I have
(16:00):
known so many women that feellike they're in a desert. And
when we get together in the waythat we do, and you can do this
too, it's like a drink of waterfor the first time. It's like
you're Oh, can finally relax.
And I'll tell you something whenyou do that, when you get away
(16:21):
with other women, and you go andyou resource in nature, and then
you get into your body, and youget turned on to life itself,
You will come back so juicy, soradiant, so alive, that
everything starts working evenbetter with less efforting and
(16:46):
your partner. Oh, my God, that'sthe other piece. It's just, what
a joy, what an eternalhoneymoon. You know? I mean,
isn't
BEATE CHELETTE (16:59):
that sort of what everybody wants, and then
very few people seem to be ableto do that. You make it sound so
so easy, but I know plentypeople where intimacy is a huge
issue, where it's not the lovefor each other, but it is the
physical connection. It's thetenderness, the intimacy, the
sex, the connection.
Suzanne Raja (17:21):
Where do we lose this? You lose it in yourself.
It always comes back. And when Isay always come back, what I
mean to say is that when we'renot feeling pleasure in our own
bodies, when we're not able tojust take a finger and feel the
(17:46):
um, feel the Whoa, I could juststay here forever, or just when
you can't make love to yourselfin such a way that you're
ecstatic, Then it's going to bedifficult for you to engage with
others, with your partner,you're it's going to be
(18:07):
difficult, but when you are ableto, and by the way, it's not
just with yourself, it's withthe source of all things. So for
me, I enjoy making love withwhat I call the Great one. With
the great one. You can call itGod, Goddess, nature, spirit,
Christ, whatever you want it youwant to say for me, when I when
(18:32):
I take that time first thing inthe morning, and I have time
where I am making love with thegreat one. I'm relaxed
completely. I am in full trustthat I'm going to be completely
the Great One is present with mefully, so I can just relax all
(18:55):
all tension, anything that wouldhold me back from experiencing
nothing but pleasure, and Icommune with this the deepest
part of me that is the deepestpart of all. And when I've had
that experience, it I am adelight to be with intimately
(19:16):
and intimately. It's delightfulto be with my beloved, because
My beloved is a concentratedform of the great one. So
imagine what's possible. It's arenewal, is what I'm speaking
about. It's a return. It's areturn to the to resource with
life is the opportunity. Andit's as simple as this. It's as
(19:41):
simple as a breath, justbreathing in, allowing that
breath to come right inside, andholding it, holding the pleasure
of it for 3210, my God, that wasso good. Exhale. All. All the
way, all the way and holdingthat pleasure celebration, then
(20:06):
just allowing yourself to bebreathed as if you were being
made love to in the mostdelicious way. It brings energy.
Just brings such delight. It'syummy.
BEATE CHELETTE (20:19):
Well, I'm getting all kinds of ideas just
talking to you good what is sodifficult about us? I mean, you
said priorities. We lost ourhouse in January in the fires.
I'm sorry. It's been a horribleroad of recovery through a lot
(20:42):
of grief, and in our spiritualpractice, we understand that the
version 3.0 is emerging, andthat is emerging in its own
time, and thank God for ourspiritual practice. Otherwise, I
don't think I'd be able tofunction, but people have a lot
of tough stuff that happens tothem, what would you say to
(21:03):
somebody who's going through avery difficult time right now,
and a lot of people are goingthrough very difficult times
right now, where can they startwith? Maybe something simple or
something juicy to help them tofind it's all you know, like, I
have this visual of almost likethis, this thread of wool that I
can follow, and then that leadsto more and more and more. Where
(21:29):
can I find the beginning of thisthreat that I need to follow?
Suzanne Raja (21:36):
Something simple.
Set a time. Have a timer for 10minutes, have a journal, and in
that 10 minutes, you write aboutyour grief, get messy, say the
things that you wouldn't maybe,maybe say to anyone. You're
afraid to say, you're afraid tothink, you're afraid to know
(21:56):
your fears. What, how it'sripping you apart, all of the
things that are going on, right,right, right. Just keep writing.
If you don't know what to say,just I don't know what to say,
you just write. You just write.
You just write. And then at theend of 10 minutes, take a breath
(22:19):
again. Take a breath. And here'sthe thing, I really want to
emphasize this breath that I'mutilizing with my clients. It's
so powerful. It's really aboutbreathing in all the way, just
like letting life in all theway, we stop short, you know,
(22:40):
breathe life in all the way, andhold it there. Hold it.
Experience life fully for 321,and then slowly exhale all the
way. Because often we don't letout fully what we need to let
out the pressure cooker sostrong need to let it all the
(23:02):
way out, and then celebrate thatyou've let that go for 321, and
then, and then just bring comeback into a breath and recognize
that you Don't have to breathe,but that you are being breathed,
(23:23):
you are being held. I find thatthis is really so helpful. After
allowing yourself to let letthose things out, and then
coming back into the breath,it's a bit of a reset. And then
you can write on another pieceof paper. You can say, what is a
(23:44):
win insight or learning thatI've gotten from this just a win
insight or learning. And onceyou have that close the book,
say gratitude to the great oneor whoever, what, however you
want to do that the next day,same thing. Next day, same
(24:07):
thing. It's like. Move throughit. Move right into it when you
allow yourself to let life haveits way with you, and you take
it in the end as there is, thereis a win, insight or learning in
here for me, ultimately,ultimately, no matter what it
(24:31):
is, and soon you will know whatis the your next step.
BEATE CHELETTE (24:37):
So you what I want. I'm hearing from you, and
I ask, not just for myself, butreally for our audience, is that
we often make this just way toocomplicated. We run from seminar
to retreat to podcast to BurningMan to spiritual retreats, and
(24:58):
you're saying the. It's allnice, but start with yourself.
Start here today. Start withsomething really simple. Take a
breath.
Suzanne Raja (25:06):
Yeah, it really is that simple. You know, we do
make it complicated.
BEATE CHELETTE (25:13):
I'm the queen of it too, you know,
Suzanne Raja (25:16):
I too. Have Been there, yes. And when I forget, I
go there too,
BEATE CHELETTE (25:21):
but it is so it is so easy to forget, because
we're so busy, and the stuffpiles up, and then you get bad
news, and you get other badnews, and in your practice, but
talk to me about the work thatyou do with the people that come
to you because people come toyou because they seek out
Suzanne Raja for Sacredpartnerships. Tell me about the
(25:46):
work.
Suzanne Raja (25:47):
Well, when they come to me, they come to me for
different reasons, but what Ilove to do is hold them in
something that I call the spafor their soul. Yeah, so that is
where they get to come in withwhatever they've got. They bring
(26:11):
whatever it is, and they lay itdown. And then I get to lay my
hands on them, virtually, and Iget to feel where it hurts,
where it's what's going on overthere. And then I get to with
(26:36):
their permission, press in andfeel, Oh, that's tender there.
And some need just a tendertouch. Some need just the most
tender touch. They need just tobe heard, just to be held, just
to be seen and felt. And it'ssimple. It is so simple that
(27:04):
that alone can help a client toget to the next stage in where
they need to go that alone, andthat is so valuable. Sometimes
it needs to be more of a more ofa press, a press in for them to
feel what's actually happening.
And I through the processes thatI offer allow them to actually
(27:27):
go deep inside and feel and it'snot it's not like they're
getting in there and they haveto talk about the deep, dark,
horrible things for long periodsof time. We don't have time for
that. We're about getting to thepain really quick, as long as
(27:48):
they allow me to press in andfeel and then moving to the next
place that we need to move to,and stepping into that next
stage. And so it's, it's workingwith them where they're at, and
helping them to feel, which iswhat we're really we've stepped
(28:11):
so far away from, is feeling, sothat we can start the healing.
BEATE CHELETTE (28:20):
Are people afraid of feeling these feelings
of loss and fear anddisconnectedness
Suzanne Raja (28:31):
at first, but it's about the container that's held
for them. I have only found a amoment of fear, but quickly,
quickly leaves because of thecontainer that I hold. There is
(28:51):
a sense of safety. There is anawareness that you know you're
not going to be judged, you'renot going to be there. There's
none of that. You're only goingto be welcomed and held and
midwife of sorts to see what So,what is that that you're
bringing? What is thatcontraction? And I do speak
(29:14):
about it sort of, it's kind oflike a spiritual midwifery of
sorts, when you're feelingwhatever that contraction is,
and allowing you to breathethrough it and go go through it.
So then birthing, what is thenext iteration of your
relationship, your the nextstage of your life, the next
(29:38):
play, the next Vista that you'rehere to reach because of
whatever that contraction is.
It's only here to open you outto the next stage, and they
actually get to feel it. Quick
BEATE CHELETTE (29:52):
question here, do you think that these things
have to happen and the pressurehas to increase for us to be
able to release it? Is that whatit's there for?
Suzanne Raja (30:02):
I would say it's a trigger that's there. Sometimes
it's pressure. Sometimes it'snot always a trigger. It's
something that has triggeredyou. It's something that has got
your attention. Give attentionto it. When you don't give
attention to something, itgrows. What you give attention
to grows. So let's, let's givefull attention to that that is
(30:28):
got you get that feel that fullyand completely magnify it,
dramatize and intensify it.
That's that. That's the way thatwe work. And then once you've
done that, then we move to thenext stage. I wouldn't advise
you do that on your own, butthis is something that is how we
hold our clients and help themto connect to the deepest part
(30:53):
of themselves, and then in thedeepest part of their partner,
and be able to see each other,because often we don't, we're we
BEATE CHELETTE (31:06):
don't see there, yeah, no, yeah. Or we see it
only in moments, and we can holdon to, we can hold on to this
moment. This has really beenvery beautiful. And I feel we
feels like we sat in a canoe andwe were paddling down a river
together while we were talking,
Suzanne Raja (31:26):
love that. I've never heard that that's
beautiful.
BEATE CHELETTE (31:30):
As we're stopping, we take in a look at
things, we put our fingers inthe water. And, you know, so, so
I hope I get to do that actuallywith you.
Suzanne Raja (31:39):
Oh, I love it beautiful. I wonder, I wonder
what your your listeners, whattheir visuals were, what they
heard or felt or tasted in thatand that they're all with us.
They're all with us on thatcanoe.
BEATE CHELETTE (31:53):
Exactly. Yeah.
So, so share that in thecomments. Leave us a comment,
and please maybe share this withepisode if it resonated with
someone else who needs to go ona nice little canoe ride and
take a breath fully in and fullyexhale. So Suzanne, where can we
find you? Where can we send ouraudience for more information
about what you do? Do you know
Suzanne Raja (32:13):
what? Reach out to me. Reach out to me. At
suzanne@warriorsage.com, W, A,R, R, I, O, R, S, A, G, E.com,
and, yeah, reach out to medirectly and let me know what
how you're moved by this. I haveretreats that I offer. I have a
(32:37):
mini course that's coming out.
Send me a message and let me,let me know if you'd like some
of that I'm happy to share. Hop
BEATE CHELETTE (32:46):
in the canoe.
Hop in the canoe. Thank you somuch. It's been a beautiful time
spending with you. Thank you.
Thank you for taking the time
Suzanne Raja (32:54):
to talk to us today. Oh, my pleasure.
BEATE CHELETTE (32:58):
And that is it for us, for today, definitely a
different kind of an interviewfor you today to go on a nice,
smooth, sexy ride and maybesomething to think about. Slow
down, take the breath, and I seeyou again next time. And
goodbye. That's it for thisepisode of the Business Growth
Architect Show, founders of thefuture, if you're done playing
(33:20):
small and ready to build thefuture on your terms, subscribe,
share and help us reach moreTrailblazers like you. And if
you're serious about creating,growing and scaling a business
that's aligned with who you are,schedule your uncovery session
at uncoverysession.com. Leadwith vision. Move with purpose.
Create your future.
You can succeed in everything in life, your
business with money, but starvein your relationship
Suzanne Raja (00:11):
when you're doing things from a place of automatic
this is where things go all overthe place. He's the King and I
am a queen. In the relationship,there is only one queen, and
that queen is me. I wondered, AmI valuable? I had moments where
(00:34):
I felt not good enough. Go backto the source of life itself.
Spend some time in nature, andyou will start to find yourself
when we're not feeling pleasurein our own bodies. It's
difficult for you to engage withothers.
BEATE CHELETTE (00:59):
Suzanne, you say that you can succeed in
everything in life, yourbusiness with money, but
starving your relationship. Whydo people do that?
Suzanne Raja (01:11):
Priorities or lack of priority, lack of the right
priorities? You know, it'spriorities come from actually
tuning in to really what is themost, what is the truest place
for me to move, what is the mostaligned to who I am, and
(01:36):
following that impulse, what amI really about, what do I value
when you when you're not tuninginto that we're not taking the
time to breathe, taking the timewith yourself, go inside, and
everything else is moreimportant. Everything else you
(01:56):
gotta, gotta go there. You don'ttake the moment to tune in, then
you start to act from automatic.
And when you're doing thingsfrom a place of automatic, this
is where things go all over theplace. It's about coming back
and rooting in and aligning yourlife with the deepest part of
you and your priorities willcome from that place, and you
(02:22):
follow that.
BEATE CHELETTE (02:25):
You know, I always say that when people
don't find balance, that there'sonly three things you can blow
up in your life, that's yourhealth, your relationship, or
your business. And I see a lotof people blow up their
relationship. Is it that peopledon't value the relationship? Or
do men and women have differentvalues as they go into
relationships? And what I meanby that is I have noticed that
(02:46):
men have a harder time tocommit, but once they commit,
sometimes it feels like that'sit. They're done. They don't
need to do anything more. Whatare you noticing in your work on
how these dynamics work?
Suzanne Raja (02:58):
I notice whether it's men or women. They are not
coming back and tuning in whatis deepest in their soul and
aligning their life with that.
When one does not do that, whenone does not take the time and,
you know, maybe wake up, one ofmy practices is I wake up extra
early in the morning beforeevery before the consciousness
(03:20):
of the world, before theconsciousness of my home arises,
I make sure that I go to bed ata certain time so that I can
have enough rest, so that I amup at least two hours before
everyone else wakes up, so thatI can tune back into what is,
what really matters, listeningto that voice inside of me
(03:47):
that's very faint, that says,okay, yes, go here. No, this
that. It's just very simplelistening to that, listening to
the inside, and not getting lostin the noise. I feel that when
we get lost in the noise, thatis when relationships go awry.
(04:09):
We make mistakes, we do and saythings that are not in alignment
with who we are. Invest the timein ourselves and in our deepest,
the deepest part of us that hasthe truth of the way we need to
be, the way we need to beshowing up in the world for
(04:30):
ourselves and for our partnersand for etc, etc, etc, and so
on. But it starts at home.
BEATE CHELETTE (04:41):
So I have to ask this question, because you are
married to a very powerful man,hmm, and a very masculine
powerful man, yes. How do youreclaim your femininity? Or, how
do you, I don't say stand. Up toit, because that would be the
(05:01):
wrong terminology. But how doyou keep your part of this
equally strong without itsquashing?
Suzanne Raja (05:07):
You? Love that question. So you know, again,
it's going back to the time thatI take for myself, the time that
I invest in myself. I spend alot of time in nature. I spend a
lot of time moving my body,coming into my body, learning
about my body, enjoying my body,valuing who I am and what I
(05:32):
bring. I'm a queen in thisrelationship. He's the King and
I am a queen in therelationship. There is no battle
whatsoever. In fact, there isonly one queen, and that queen
is me. And when I remember, whenI forget that, then, you know,
(05:52):
I'm forgetting myself. I'veforgotten to take time for me,
but the time that I take and Iremember who I am. There's
absolutely no battle. It'smaking love all the time. It's
like, oh, okay, yeah, there's myking over there. Oh, be as
powerful and rise as high as youyou rise. Because as you're
(06:14):
rising, I am also rising. I canonly rise. The Queen only rises,
She only becomes the best partof herself, and continues to do
that and takes everyone withher, uplifts everyone with her.
She's a blessing for her king.
She is so valuable for him.
(06:38):
She's his app, the absoluteapple of his eye when she
remembers who she is, and that'swhat I do. A real queen is one
who comes from underneath andawakens and inspires and brings
everyone with her in joy, inpleasure, in love, in life. And
(06:59):
so there is so much going on forme. I have no time to look over
there and say, I mean, it's notas exciting. He's got his thing
that he's doing so well. What Ihave to do in my life, what I'm
enjoying, what I have the greatgift and the pleasure to be I'm
I have too much time enjoyingthat and fulfilling my role as
(07:24):
the Queen in the relationship,that there is no battle. It's a
joy. It's a dance, actually,it's a tango, if you really want
to get to that
BEATE CHELETTE (07:37):
now that have like 10,000 questions, something
tells me it's not always beenlike this. You're not a
princess, you're not themistress, you're a queen. Were
you always a queen? Or did youhave to get to the real
realization that you are a queenand step into that and claim
that for yourself?
Suzanne Raja (07:53):
Yes, and yes. So I was always the Queen, but I
didn't realize that I was thequeen. At times, there were
times, especially as in our inour life, where I was the stay
at home mom, the one who tookcare of the home. And oh, what a
(08:15):
what a beautiful thing. That is,I didn't realize my worth there,
I would look to see other women,let's say that were out, working
outside of the home, and theywere successful in my eyes. And
I felt like, well, I'm What am Idoing? I'm not really X, Y or Z.
(08:40):
And I would watch as my husbandwould rise in his power, and he
would try to take me along. Andhe did. He actually took me to
help me to get to the place ofanother iteration of my life
where I'm not only working athome, but I'm working outside of
(09:00):
the home. But as he rose in hissuccess, in his power and his
recognition outside of the home,I I wondered, Am I valuable? I
had moments where I felt notgood enough, and there are times
where I forget we're human, thatI feel not good enough. And yes,
(09:23):
I did have that early on, and ittook a strain on myself, on our
relationship, and in my abilityto step on to do the next part
of my of my offering, of mygiving, because I didn't feel
like I had anything to give, andso I stayed small for a while.
(09:46):
But with my husband, he Icouldn't stay small for too
long.
BEATE CHELETTE (09:50):
Was just gonna say, that's a tough thought. He
strikes me as somebody wants totake as many people with him as
he possibly can.
Suzanne Raja (09:58):
Absolutely. He, and he's such a beautiful man,
that he always saw me. He alwayssaw me, and he always said that
you are so you're incredible.
You have so much to offer. Lookat what you do. He would praise
me constantly, but I couldn'thear it when I didn't go inside
and find that in myself. Icouldn't hear anybody's gifting
(10:20):
of words to me until I foundthat in myself that's
BEATE CHELETTE (10:27):
so beautiful. I want to ask this question now
about did you have to unlearnany patterns and re establish
those patterns? Because I thinkour audience probably goes she
sounds amazing. She sounds likeshe's a powerful woman with a
powerful man. How do I getthere? What are the patterns we
need to unlearn?
Suzanne Raja (10:48):
There's so many patterns I can speak about
having a very powerful in avoice mother and mother in law
and women in my world that havethat I've looked to and thought
I need to be strong andpowerful, as well as my husband.
(11:11):
I need to climb. I need to asstrong as he is, I need to be
strong too. I need to this andthis, and that's a pattern of
insecurity and not recognizingwho you are. And that's
something that I had to break. Ihad to instead of looking to
Him, and as he rises, think,well, I have to keep up.
(11:33):
Instead, I had to turn the viewback to myself and find me
again, and that's one of thethings that I really find in my
work. Women who have forgottento resource. I call it resource.
(11:55):
You've heard the word resource,well, it's resource. Go back to
the source of where you comefrom, go back to the source of
life itself. Spend some time innature. Be with nature, and that
nature will teach you how towake up to who you are, to spend
time in the quiet and watch,watch as the radiant sunlight
(12:21):
attracts you into life. Watch asthe green of the grass is
growing or it's or it's goinginto hibernation. Watch those
things breathe that in, attuneto nature, as if you would
attune to an instrument, and youwill start to find yourself
(12:41):
again. We have lost touch withthat, and it's time to remember.
And that's a very simple waythat your breath returning to
your breath coming back to thatthese little things, they're
simple, but they're potent.
They're powerful resourcinggoing back to the source of
(13:03):
life, and that will change thepattern that is so unnatural
these days. It will bring youback. Do you think that
BEATE CHELETTE (13:19):
many women are forced by society or the
patterns that have beenestablished around us to be too
much in their masculine energy.
And I'm totally speaking aboutmyself. I mean, I've been I've
lived in my masculine energy formost of my life, and it wasn't
until I met this man who, verymuch like yours, a very
(13:40):
powerful, very masculine man.
And I realized we can't have twoalphas, two alpha males in the
same relationship. But how do wehow do we help women to find joy
and pleasure not being in thealpha male when all it seems
(14:00):
like that's being rewarded.
Suzanne Raja (14:02):
Yes, yes. We have to get away and be with each
other in pleasure, times ofpleasure that have nothing to do
with the mind, our absolute,brilliant mind that's there, our
brilliant capacity to make wavesand do amazing things. We we are
(14:26):
capable of that and so much moregreat. We've sharpened that it's
time to get away and be togetherin community with women. We've
left the village. It's aboutgetting together, retreating,
escaping with with women, andspeaking about love, speaking
(14:49):
about pleasure, getting intobody massage, walking in nature
together, just I mean. Simplethings like that, listening to
music together, dancingtogether. It's
counterproductive. It's not whatyou do when you're going out
(15:10):
there and you're using the mindand you're on your laptop and
you got to get that projecttogether. It can take you into a
spin. You have to set time tostep away, you have to set time
to do frivolous things. Take outan art book, take out some
crayons, play some music, sitback and color. That alone will
(15:35):
take you away. There's so manythings that you can do to just
come away from the mind and beamongst other women. Stay out of
the head, and when they start toget into the head, get into some
body practices, where you'reyou're dancing, you're in
movement, you're you're enjoyingthe senses together. I have
(16:00):
known so many women that feellike they're in a desert. And
when we get together in the waythat we do, and you can do this
too, it's like a drink of waterfor the first time. It's like
you're Oh, can finally relax.
And I'll tell you something whenyou do that, when you get away
(16:21):
with other women, and you go andyou resource in nature, and then
you get into your body, and youget turned on to life itself,
You will come back so juicy, soradiant, so alive, that
everything starts working evenbetter with less efforting and
(16:46):
your partner. Oh, my God, that'sthe other piece. It's just, what
a joy, what an eternalhoneymoon. You know? I mean,
isn't
BEATE CHELETTE (16:59):
that sort of what everybody wants, and then
very few people seem to be ableto do that. You make it sound so
so easy, but I know plentypeople where intimacy is a huge
issue, where it's not the lovefor each other, but it is the
physical connection. It's thetenderness, the intimacy, the
sex, the connection.
Suzanne Raja (17:21):
Where do we lose this? You lose it in yourself.
It always comes back. And when Isay always come back, what I
mean to say is that when we'renot feeling pleasure in our own
bodies, when we're not able tojust take a finger and feel the
(17:46):
um, feel the Whoa, I could juststay here forever, or just when
you can't make love to yourselfin such a way that you're
ecstatic, Then it's going to bedifficult for you to engage with
others, with your partner,you're it's going to be
(18:07):
difficult, but when you are ableto, and by the way, it's not
just with yourself, it's withthe source of all things. So for
me, I enjoy making love withwhat I call the Great one. With
the great one. You can call itGod, Goddess, nature, spirit,
Christ, whatever you want it youwant to say for me, when I when
(18:32):
I take that time first thing inthe morning, and I have time
where I am making love with thegreat one. I'm relaxed
completely. I am in full trustthat I'm going to be completely
the Great One is present with mefully, so I can just relax all
(18:55):
all tension, anything that wouldhold me back from experiencing
nothing but pleasure, and Icommune with this the deepest
part of me that is the deepestpart of all. And when I've had
that experience, it I am adelight to be with intimately
(19:16):
and intimately. It's delightfulto be with my beloved, because
My beloved is a concentratedform of the great one. So
imagine what's possible. It's arenewal, is what I'm speaking
about. It's a return. It's areturn to the to resource with
life is the opportunity. Andit's as simple as this. It's as
(19:41):
simple as a breath, justbreathing in, allowing that
breath to come right inside, andholding it, holding the pleasure
of it for 3210, my God, that wasso good. Exhale. All. All the
way, all the way and holdingthat pleasure celebration, then
(20:06):
just allowing yourself to bebreathed as if you were being
made love to in the mostdelicious way. It brings energy.
Just brings such delight. It'syummy.
BEATE CHELETTE (20:19):
Well, I'm getting all kinds of ideas just
talking to you good what is sodifficult about us? I mean, you
said priorities. We lost ourhouse in January in the fires.
I'm sorry. It's been a horribleroad of recovery through a lot
(20:42):
of grief, and in our spiritualpractice, we understand that the
version 3.0 is emerging, andthat is emerging in its own
time, and thank God for ourspiritual practice. Otherwise, I
don't think I'd be able tofunction, but people have a lot
of tough stuff that happens tothem, what would you say to
(21:03):
somebody who's going through avery difficult time right now,
and a lot of people are goingthrough very difficult times
right now, where can they startwith? Maybe something simple or
something juicy to help them tofind it's all you know, like, I
have this visual of almost likethis, this thread of wool that I
can follow, and then that leadsto more and more and more. Where
(21:29):
can I find the beginning of thisthreat that I need to follow?
Suzanne Raja (21:36):
Something simple.
Set a time. Have a timer for 10minutes, have a journal, and in
that 10 minutes, you write aboutyour grief, get messy, say the
things that you wouldn't maybe,maybe say to anyone. You're
afraid to say, you're afraid tothink, you're afraid to know
(21:56):
your fears. What, how it'sripping you apart, all of the
things that are going on, right,right, right. Just keep writing.
If you don't know what to say,just I don't know what to say,
you just write. You just write.
You just write. And then at theend of 10 minutes, take a breath
(22:19):
again. Take a breath. And here'sthe thing, I really want to
emphasize this breath that I'mutilizing with my clients. It's
so powerful. It's really aboutbreathing in all the way, just
like letting life in all theway, we stop short, you know,
(22:40):
breathe life in all the way, andhold it there. Hold it.
Experience life fully for 321,and then slowly exhale all the
way. Because often we don't letout fully what we need to let
out the pressure cooker sostrong need to let it all the
(23:02):
way out, and then celebrate thatyou've let that go for 321, and
then, and then just bring comeback into a breath and recognize
that you Don't have to breathe,but that you are being breathed,
(23:23):
you are being held. I find thatthis is really so helpful. After
allowing yourself to let letthose things out, and then
coming back into the breath,it's a bit of a reset. And then
you can write on another pieceof paper. You can say, what is a
(23:44):
win insight or learning thatI've gotten from this just a win
insight or learning. And onceyou have that close the book,
say gratitude to the great oneor whoever, what, however you
want to do that the next day,same thing. Next day, same
(24:07):
thing. It's like. Move throughit. Move right into it when you
allow yourself to let life haveits way with you, and you take
it in the end as there is, thereis a win, insight or learning in
here for me, ultimately,ultimately, no matter what it
(24:31):
is, and soon you will know whatis the your next step.
BEATE CHELETTE (24:37):
So you what I want. I'm hearing from you, and
I ask, not just for myself, butreally for our audience, is that
we often make this just way toocomplicated. We run from seminar
to retreat to podcast to BurningMan to spiritual retreats, and
(24:58):
you're saying the. It's allnice, but start with yourself.
Start here today. Start withsomething really simple. Take a
breath.
Suzanne Raja (25:06):
Yeah, it really is that simple. You know, we do
make it complicated.
BEATE CHELETTE (25:13):
I'm the queen of it too, you know,
Suzanne Raja (25:16):
I too. Have Been there, yes. And when I forget, I
go there too,
BEATE CHELETTE (25:21):
but it is so it is so easy to forget, because
we're so busy, and the stuffpiles up, and then you get bad
news, and you get other badnews, and in your practice, but
talk to me about the work thatyou do with the people that come
to you because people come toyou because they seek out
Suzanne Raja for Sacredpartnerships. Tell me about the
(25:46):
work.
Suzanne Raja (25:47):
Well, when they come to me, they come to me for
different reasons, but what Ilove to do is hold them in
something that I call the spafor their soul. Yeah, so that is
where they get to come in withwhatever they've got. They bring
(26:11):
whatever it is, and they lay itdown. And then I get to lay my
hands on them, virtually, and Iget to feel where it hurts,
where it's what's going on overthere. And then I get to with
(26:36):
their permission, press in andfeel, Oh, that's tender there.
And some need just a tendertouch. Some need just the most
tender touch. They need just tobe heard, just to be held, just
to be seen and felt. And it'ssimple. It is so simple that
(27:04):
that alone can help a client toget to the next stage in where
they need to go that alone, andthat is so valuable. Sometimes
it needs to be more of a more ofa press, a press in for them to
feel what's actually happening.
And I through the processes thatI offer allow them to actually
(27:27):
go deep inside and feel and it'snot it's not like they're
getting in there and they haveto talk about the deep, dark,
horrible things for long periodsof time. We don't have time for
that. We're about getting to thepain really quick, as long as
(27:48):
they allow me to press in andfeel and then moving to the next
place that we need to move to,and stepping into that next
stage. And so it's, it's workingwith them where they're at, and
helping them to feel, which iswhat we're really we've stepped
(28:11):
so far away from, is feeling, sothat we can start the healing.
BEATE CHELETTE (28:20):
Are people afraid of feeling these feelings
of loss and fear anddisconnectedness
Suzanne Raja (28:31):
at first, but it's about the container that's held
for them. I have only found a amoment of fear, but quickly,
quickly leaves because of thecontainer that I hold. There is
(28:51):
a sense of safety. There is anawareness that you know you're
not going to be judged, you'renot going to be there. There's
none of that. You're only goingto be welcomed and held and
midwife of sorts to see what So,what is that that you're
bringing? What is thatcontraction? And I do speak
(29:14):
about it sort of, it's kind oflike a spiritual midwifery of
sorts, when you're feelingwhatever that contraction is,
and allowing you to breathethrough it and go go through it.
So then birthing, what is thenext iteration of your
relationship, your the nextstage of your life, the next
(29:38):
play, the next Vista that you'rehere to reach because of
whatever that contraction is.
It's only here to open you outto the next stage, and they
actually get to feel it. Quick
BEATE CHELETTE (29:52):
question here, do you think that these things
have to happen and the pressurehas to increase for us to be
able to release it? Is that whatit's there for?
Suzanne Raja (30:02):
I would say it's a trigger that's there. Sometimes
it's pressure. Sometimes it'snot always a trigger. It's
something that has triggeredyou. It's something that has got
your attention. Give attentionto it. When you don't give
attention to something, itgrows. What you give attention
to grows. So let's, let's givefull attention to that that is
(30:28):
got you get that feel that fullyand completely magnify it,
dramatize and intensify it.
That's that. That's the way thatwe work. And then once you've
done that, then we move to thenext stage. I wouldn't advise
you do that on your own, butthis is something that is how we
hold our clients and help themto connect to the deepest part
(30:53):
of themselves, and then in thedeepest part of their partner,
and be able to see each other,because often we don't, we're we
BEATE CHELETTE (31:06):
don't see there, yeah, no, yeah. Or we see it
only in moments, and we can holdon to, we can hold on to this
moment. This has really beenvery beautiful. And I feel we
feels like we sat in a canoe andwe were paddling down a river
together while we were talking,
Suzanne Raja (31:26):
love that. I've never heard that that's
beautiful.
BEATE CHELETTE (31:30):
As we're stopping, we take in a look at
things, we put our fingers inthe water. And, you know, so, so
I hope I get to do that actuallywith you.
Suzanne Raja (31:39):
Oh, I love it beautiful. I wonder, I wonder
what your your listeners, whattheir visuals were, what they
heard or felt or tasted in thatand that they're all with us.
They're all with us on thatcanoe.
BEATE CHELETTE (31:53):
Exactly. Yeah.
So, so share that in thecomments. Leave us a comment,
and please maybe share this withepisode if it resonated with
someone else who needs to go ona nice little canoe ride and
take a breath fully in and fullyexhale. So Suzanne, where can we
find you? Where can we send ouraudience for more information
about what you do? Do you know
Suzanne Raja (32:13):
what? Reach out to me. Reach out to me. At
suzanne@warriorsage.com, W, A,R, R, I, O, R, S, A, G, E.com,
and, yeah, reach out to medirectly and let me know what
how you're moved by this. I haveretreats that I offer. I have a
(32:37):
mini course that's coming out.
Send me a message and let me,let me know if you'd like some
of that I'm happy to share. Hop
BEATE CHELETTE (32:46):
in the canoe.
Hop in the canoe. Thank you somuch. It's been a beautiful time
spending with you. Thank you.
Thank you for taking the time
Suzanne Raja (32:54):
to talk to us today. Oh, my pleasure.
BEATE CHELETTE (32:58):
And that is it for us, for today, definitely a
different kind of an interviewfor you today to go on a nice,
smooth, sexy ride and maybesomething to think about. Slow
down, take the breath, and I seeyou again next time. And
goodbye. That's it for thisepisode of the Business Growth
Architect Show, founders of thefuture, if you're done playing
(33:20):
small and ready to build thefuture on your terms, subscribe,
share and help us reach moreTrailblazers like you. And if
you're serious about creating,growing and scaling a business
that's aligned with who you are,schedule your uncovery session
at uncoverysession.com. Leadwith vision. Move with purpose.
Create your future.
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