October 19, 2023 • 9 mins
Ever found yourself caught in a vicious cycle of guilt and confusion when you take a step back from your business, only to find yourself drawn back in? Well, you're not alone. I, Jacob K Mead, want to share my battle with this insidious 'circle of death'. It's the guilt of distancing oneself from the daily operations of the business, falling back into the comfort of the familiar, and getting swamped by an endless to-do list. This is a battle I struggle with daily, despite knowing my team is adept at running things smoothly.
I'm here to tell you it’s okay to step out of the trenches. There’s no need to feel guilty about leaving your business in the capable hands of your team. It’s not about working in your business but working on it! In this episode, I share strategies to break free from this guilt trap. Learn the importance of a good support system, taking meaningful breaks, and trusting your team with the same vision you hold. Remember, growth happens outside our comfort zones. Tune in and let’s explore together how we can overcome the guilt of stepping away, granting our businesses the room they need to thrive. I’m here to support you on this journey.
Until next time... Follow on Instagram @buytimepodcast
Follow Jacob K. Mead on all the socials @jacobkmead
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Hey everybody, this is Jacob K Mead, and this is the
Buy Time podcast, where wediscuss everything there is to
know about buying back your time.
Be sure to like and follow andshare with somebody who needs to
buy back their time.
Enjoy today's episode.
My name is Jacob K Mead and I'mexcited that you're here today,
because I want to talk aboutsomething that I've struggled
with, still do a little bit tothis day, and it's something
(00:25):
that is really hard to overcome.
It almost requires a differentmindset shift, and what I'm
talking about is the circle ofdeath.
Now, before you lay into melike, what are you talking about
?
I'm not going to die, no, no,you're not, at least not in this
(00:45):
present moment.
But what I am talking about isone of the steps in the buying
time process, and that includeswhen you step away and when you
get to that point of being ableto have your business run on its
own and you're not having to bethere every single day.
You know your team can handleit.
(01:05):
You know if there's somethingthat comes up that it can be
taken care of.
So you're not having to bethere every single day.
You still may go in every nowand then, but you're not having
to be there constantly.
But when you get to that point,what happens is you start to
get this overwhelming fear ofguilt, like I should be
supporting them, I should bethere, I should be working side
(01:27):
by side with them.
Now I'm guilty of this, right.
I have this happen to me a lot,actually more often than I
probably should, especiallysince I do a lot of coaching on
the buying time right, but itstill happens to me, and even to
this day, and almost like eventhis episode, for instance, that
(01:49):
I'm recording.
Right now I'm in Nashville,tennessee, and my business is
running into Moyniah, iowa, butI still have a little sense of
guilt of I should be doing morefor my team.
Now, what's amazing is I canget on social media, I can get
on my email and I can see howgreat they're doing.
I can see that my team isactually thriving without me
(02:10):
being there.
And they message me every nowand then and they'll tell me
like hey, we miss you, we can'twait to hear your stories and we
can't wait to hear what you'redoing and what you're up to.
And I love that about thembecause it means that they
understand the bigger pictureand they understand what I'm
doing, what I'm trying toaccomplish, and they also
understand that they're part ofthat goal, like they're part of
(02:35):
that, like they're part of mywork family, like they are
helping me and in return, Ialways tell them I'm going to
help you and I do.
I help them in any way possible.
Now I talk about this death trap.
So what do I mean by a deathtrap or like a death circle?
Right, it really comes down towhat you do when you have that
(03:00):
feeling of guilt.
See, what I did for the longesttime is I would have that
feeling of guilt, and then whatI would do is I would look to
see what would comfort me, right, and I knew that going back
into work was a quick solutionand a quick comfort.
And so I would find myself offthere, not living with this
(03:22):
sense of guilt for a couple daysand then saying I can't do this
anymore.
And then going back to workinside the business and not
getting anything that I neededdone, my to-do list piling right
back up again, getting stressedout that I'm not able to figure
out how to scale this and howto move it in the next direction
.
And then I would say, okay,well, now I have to step back
(03:43):
outside.
So then I would go and I wouldstep outside of my business to
try and get all that stuffaccomplished, and then the
feeling of guilt would kick backin and it was just a constant
circle.
It was like that, and that's whyI call it the death circle,
because you go from steppingoutside of your business and
letting your team handleeverything, letting the systems
(04:05):
that you put in place work, tohaving that sense of guilt.
And because you have that senseof guilt, you want comfort.
And often times or not, we findcomfort in what we know.
And for the longest time, likefor me, all I knew was my
business.
I knew how to work in it and Iknew that it made me feel
(04:28):
comfortable and comforted.
And so I went towards thatcomfort, right Cause it's a
comfortable feeling, it'ssomething that you know, and so
I would go towards that comfort.
But in return, what did I get?
I got temporary comfort,because I now had a big to-do
list piling on top of trying tofigure out how to scale a
(04:48):
company, because that's our jobas business owners.
Our job is to look at ourbusiness and to see where it can
grow.
And I like to say this, cause Ihave two kids at home.
Your business is your baby, andI actually heard this on one of
(05:10):
my other podcast episodes,where they mentioned that your
business is your baby, and itreally is.
It's your baby.
But the most important step ofwhenever you have a kid is when
you get them to the point ofwhere they're moving off to
college.
So they have their bags packedand they're moving off to
college.
Now you would always welcomeyour kid back, right.
(05:31):
If your kid needed you orneeded a place of comfort, you'd
welcome them back.
But what would become a badhabit is that if it always
happened where there was aconstant circle and they
couldn't learn how to becomforted without going back
home, right.
And so that's the way I look atit in my aspect of life, and I
(05:52):
struggle with this today.
I'm not here saying that I'mperfect, cause I'm not.
I'm gonna be honest with youall.
I'm not.
I'm far from it.
I've learned a lot of businesslessons.
Absolutely.
I've gone through a lot ofstruggles.
Absolutely.
I still go through struggles.
But I really just wanted toaddress that death circle,
(06:12):
because if you get stuck intothat, you're never going to
continue to grow.
So what are some things that Ido?
Well, first of all, make sureyou have a good support partner.
So my wife Sabrina, bless herheart.
She is the best person in theentire world and I honestly
don't know what I do without her, because she is that person
(06:33):
that re-grounds me.
She's that person that'll callit out how it is.
She's that person that shecatches me working 60, 70 hour
weeks in my store and not on mybusiness.
She will call me out and shewill say, hey, why are you going
in so much?
And then I have my list ofexcuses cause, again, I'm
feeling comfortable, and she'llsay, no, that's not good enough.
(06:54):
You need to do what you said.
You're going to do Almost as apractice, what you preach, kind
of method.
And so she holds me soaccountable.
And then I obviously have abusiness coach and he holds me
accountable.
And I have mindset mentors andthey hold me accountable.
And then you know, fitness is ahuge role in it too.
So I have a fitness coach andall of these people in my life
(07:17):
hold me accountable and kind ofkeep me out of that death circle
.
Something I am just now tryingto learn to do is more, take
breaths, take pauses, and that'salso helping.
It's helping me to realize thatthings will continue to go on.
(07:37):
I'm doing the right thing, andmy employees know that I'm doing
the right thing, and that makesme feel comforted, and I have
to once re ground myself in thatway to know like they whether I
believe it or not they can alsosee the goal right along with
me, and I know that because ofthe conversations we have.
(07:59):
I know that because of whatthey message me and how they
always tell me, when I do showup, that they got this and they
hold me accountable too.
If I'm there, they'll tell mehey, what are you doing?
You can't be here.
You have stuff to get done, andI love that.
It's so important to have thatsupport team, because otherwise
(08:19):
you'll get stuck in that deathcircle and just go around and
around and it's so hard to getout of that.
So that's really what I wantedto talk to you guys about today,
and hopefully you found someknowledge in that.
If you're struggling with thisor if it's something you want to
talk a little bit further on,feel free to reach out to me.
I'm on all the social medias.
(08:41):
At jacobkmedecom, you can findme online at jacobkmedecom and
you can just go on there and wecan have a conversation and feel
free to message me.
I just really like connectingwith each and every one of you
and if you think that this wouldbe a beneficial podcast for
maybe one of your friends orbusiness partners or business
acquaintance, feel free to shareit with them.
(09:02):
That's what you guys can do tohelp me out and in return, I'd
love to help you guys in any waypossible.
I'm here to try to provide asmuch support as possible.
Guys, really just thank you somuch for all you do and remember
that continue to find ways towork on your business, not in it
.
Make sure that you're focusingon buying back your time.
(09:26):
I'm Jacob K Meade, I'm yourhost, and until next time.
Thanks for listening to today'sepisode.
My name is Jacob K Meade, anduntil next time.
Hey everybody, this is Jacob K Mead, and this is the
Buy Time podcast, where wediscuss everything there is to
know about buying back your time.
Be sure to like and follow andshare with somebody who needs to
buy back their time.
Enjoy today's episode.
My name is Jacob K Mead and I'mexcited that you're here today,
because I want to talk aboutsomething that I've struggled
with, still do a little bit tothis day, and it's something
(00:25):
that is really hard to overcome.
It almost requires a differentmindset shift, and what I'm
talking about is the circle ofdeath.
Now, before you lay into melike, what are you talking about
?
I'm not going to die, no, no,you're not, at least not in this
(00:45):
present moment.
But what I am talking about isone of the steps in the buying
time process, and that includeswhen you step away and when you
get to that point of being ableto have your business run on its
own and you're not having to bethere every single day.
You know your team can handleit.
(01:05):
You know if there's somethingthat comes up that it can be
taken care of.
So you're not having to bethere every single day.
You still may go in every nowand then, but you're not having
to be there constantly.
But when you get to that point,what happens is you start to
get this overwhelming fear ofguilt, like I should be
supporting them, I should bethere, I should be working side
(01:27):
by side with them.
Now I'm guilty of this, right.
I have this happen to me a lot,actually more often than I
probably should, especiallysince I do a lot of coaching on
the buying time right, but itstill happens to me, and even to
this day, and almost like eventhis episode, for instance, that
(01:49):
I'm recording.
Right now I'm in Nashville,tennessee, and my business is
running into Moyniah, iowa, butI still have a little sense of
guilt of I should be doing morefor my team.
Now, what's amazing is I canget on social media, I can get
on my email and I can see howgreat they're doing.
I can see that my team isactually thriving without me
(02:10):
being there.
And they message me every nowand then and they'll tell me
like hey, we miss you, we can'twait to hear your stories and we
can't wait to hear what you'redoing and what you're up to.
And I love that about thembecause it means that they
understand the bigger pictureand they understand what I'm
doing, what I'm trying toaccomplish, and they also
understand that they're part ofthat goal, like they're part of
(02:35):
that, like they're part of mywork family, like they are
helping me and in return, Ialways tell them I'm going to
help you and I do.
I help them in any way possible.
Now I talk about this death trap.
So what do I mean by a deathtrap or like a death circle?
Right, it really comes down towhat you do when you have that
(03:00):
feeling of guilt.
See, what I did for the longesttime is I would have that
feeling of guilt, and then whatI would do is I would look to
see what would comfort me, right, and I knew that going back
into work was a quick solutionand a quick comfort.
And so I would find myself offthere, not living with this
(03:22):
sense of guilt for a couple daysand then saying I can't do this
anymore.
And then going back to workinside the business and not
getting anything that I neededdone, my to-do list piling right
back up again, getting stressedout that I'm not able to figure
out how to scale this and howto move it in the next direction
.
And then I would say, okay,well, now I have to step back
(03:43):
outside.
So then I would go and I wouldstep outside of my business to
try and get all that stuffaccomplished, and then the
feeling of guilt would kick backin and it was just a constant
circle.
It was like that, and that's whyI call it the death circle,
because you go from steppingoutside of your business and
letting your team handleeverything, letting the systems
(04:05):
that you put in place work, tohaving that sense of guilt.
And because you have that senseof guilt, you want comfort.
And often times or not, we findcomfort in what we know.
And for the longest time, likefor me, all I knew was my
business.
I knew how to work in it and Iknew that it made me feel
(04:28):
comfortable and comforted.
And so I went towards thatcomfort, right Cause it's a
comfortable feeling, it'ssomething that you know, and so
I would go towards that comfort.
But in return, what did I get?
I got temporary comfort,because I now had a big to-do
list piling on top of trying tofigure out how to scale a
(04:48):
company, because that's our jobas business owners.
Our job is to look at ourbusiness and to see where it can
grow.
And I like to say this, cause Ihave two kids at home.
Your business is your baby, andI actually heard this on one of
(05:10):
my other podcast episodes,where they mentioned that your
business is your baby, and itreally is.
It's your baby.
But the most important step ofwhenever you have a kid is when
you get them to the point ofwhere they're moving off to
college.
So they have their bags packedand they're moving off to
college.
Now you would always welcomeyour kid back, right.
(05:31):
If your kid needed you orneeded a place of comfort, you'd
welcome them back.
But what would become a badhabit is that if it always
happened where there was aconstant circle and they
couldn't learn how to becomforted without going back
home, right.
And so that's the way I look atit in my aspect of life, and I
(05:52):
struggle with this today.
I'm not here saying that I'mperfect, cause I'm not.
I'm gonna be honest with youall.
I'm not.
I'm far from it.
I've learned a lot of businesslessons.
Absolutely.
I've gone through a lot ofstruggles.
Absolutely.
I still go through struggles.
But I really just wanted toaddress that death circle,
(06:12):
because if you get stuck intothat, you're never going to
continue to grow.
So what are some things that Ido?
Well, first of all, make sureyou have a good support partner.
So my wife Sabrina, bless herheart.
She is the best person in theentire world and I honestly
don't know what I do without her, because she is that person
(06:33):
that re-grounds me.
She's that person that'll callit out how it is.
She's that person that shecatches me working 60, 70 hour
weeks in my store and not on mybusiness.
She will call me out and shewill say, hey, why are you going
in so much?
And then I have my list ofexcuses cause, again, I'm
feeling comfortable, and she'llsay, no, that's not good enough.
(06:54):
You need to do what you said.
You're going to do Almost as apractice, what you preach, kind
of method.
And so she holds me soaccountable.
And then I obviously have abusiness coach and he holds me
accountable.
And I have mindset mentors andthey hold me accountable.
And then you know, fitness is ahuge role in it too.
So I have a fitness coach andall of these people in my life
(07:17):
hold me accountable and kind ofkeep me out of that death circle
.
Something I am just now tryingto learn to do is more, take
breaths, take pauses, and that'salso helping.
It's helping me to realize thatthings will continue to go on.
(07:37):
I'm doing the right thing, andmy employees know that I'm doing
the right thing, and that makesme feel comforted, and I have
to once re ground myself in thatway to know like they whether I
believe it or not they can alsosee the goal right along with
me, and I know that because ofthe conversations we have.
(07:59):
I know that because of whatthey message me and how they
always tell me, when I do showup, that they got this and they
hold me accountable too.
If I'm there, they'll tell mehey, what are you doing?
You can't be here.
You have stuff to get done, andI love that.
It's so important to have thatsupport team, because otherwise
(08:19):
you'll get stuck in that deathcircle and just go around and
around and it's so hard to getout of that.
So that's really what I wantedto talk to you guys about today,
and hopefully you found someknowledge in that.
If you're struggling with thisor if it's something you want to
talk a little bit further on,feel free to reach out to me.
I'm on all the social medias.
(08:41):
At jacobkmedecom, you can findme online at jacobkmedecom and
you can just go on there and wecan have a conversation and feel
free to message me.
I just really like connectingwith each and every one of you
and if you think that this wouldbe a beneficial podcast for
maybe one of your friends orbusiness partners or business
acquaintance, feel free to shareit with them.
(09:02):
That's what you guys can do tohelp me out and in return, I'd
love to help you guys in any waypossible.
I'm here to try to provide asmuch support as possible.
Guys, really just thank you somuch for all you do and remember
that continue to find ways towork on your business, not in it
.
Make sure that you're focusingon buying back your time.
(09:26):
I'm Jacob K Meade, I'm yourhost, and until next time.
Thanks for listening to today'sepisode.
My name is Jacob K Meade, anduntil next time.
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