From Rage to Clarity: Steps to Alchemize Your Anger

In this solo episode of Café con Pam, Pam gets real about anger—the kind that bubbles up when you’ve been set up to fail and left holding the bag. She opens up about a recent experience, walks us through how she turned that fiery frustration into pure motivation, and shares her signature FUEGO method for channeling anger into something actually useful. If you’ve ever been mad and didn’t know what to do with all that energy, Pam’s got your back with tips, somatic tricks, and some gentle reminders that anger isn’t your enemy—it’s your fuel.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:03):
Soft for me Ola sopam and welcome to our Mergarito,
the place where we showcase the brands that believe in
us and help us make the show possible. Let's meet them.

(00:23):
We all know this. Talking about money is not always
the most comfortable. Better, our friends from Savi Ladies make
it easier and now and Espanol, you don't have to
feel the pressure to translate for your mama or your tias.
Because Savi Ladies has their whole site and nuestro yaora,

(00:43):
they can easily access their free resources like Taietes Glasses
is La Lina Gratis Bartas their free financial helpline, and
then the place connect that with a trusted financial expert.
Whether you need financial items in English or Espanol, savid
Ladies is here to support you. Visit save ladies dot org.

(01:06):
That is s A V V y l A d
I E S dot O r G. But I'm bezard
your financial freedom. Welcome to Kata Kombam, the bilingual podcast

(01:27):
that shares our stories seen sinsuna yooi. The Trigo is
the episodio just you and me where we talk about
the fire. We don't always know how to hold anger,
but it's not just messy, loud anger. I want to
talk to you about how to alchemize it. This is

(01:48):
the story of a moment where I was set up
to fail and how the fire became fuel. I'm sure
you've been in a situation like me when someone else
dropped the but you were the one who ended up
looking bad. Yes, that happened to me recently, and what
came next was anger, a righteous fire in my chest

(02:11):
kind of anger. But instead of spiraling, I tried something different.
I tuned into it. Yeah, yeahther way. I want to
share what happened and how the anger turned into an
absolute power source. So a little while ago, I was
hired as a consultant for a project and everything was aligned.

(02:34):
The mission, the message, the values. Everything was working. Everything
sounded amazing. But when the big day came, it was
chaos in all levels. The client didn't prepare me the
way they said they would, and instead of setting me
up for success, they literally handed me the mic with

(02:56):
no plan, no briefing, no context, no nothing. And of
course I did it. I'm a professional, so I did
it the best I could with what I had. I
stayed calm, I smiled, and I delivered with what I had.
On the outside, I stayed professional, but of course on
the inside, I was like on fire, misstabah gamando. I

(03:20):
was living livid, I was fuming. I go home that
day and I was ready to let it all out,
and not even in the sense of like lashing out,
but I needed to express it. So of course I
told David, let me tell you all about it. And
I was like, like a like a dragonist and he

(03:41):
was like, oh okay. And then I sat with it.
I tapped, I cried, I paced, I showered, and slowly
something shifted. That's when I remember that as a coach,
I often tell my clients anger is not the enemy.

(04:03):
Anger is energy, and energy always wants to move. So
once I accepted what happened, something wild clicked. I started
moving through my to do list like I never had before.
I responded to emails i'd been avoiding. I did some
updates on my website. I put together a shelf that

(04:25):
I've been putting off so much. I use the same
fire that was burning in my chest to get things done.
And this is not from revenge or from bitterness. It's
because I realized I have power, and I get to
choose how I respond with it. So what I invite

(04:45):
you to take from this is that anger is not bad.
It's your body asking for justice, for clarity, for movement,
and when we meet anger with compassion, we can tune
it into aligned action. So next time you're angry, I
invite you to try this. Pause, feel and breathe. Ask yourself,
what is this anger protecting? What is it offering me?

(05:08):
Then move it, walk it, shower it, write it, do something,
use the fire, don't fear it, channel it. As I
was in my journey, I realized something important. I couldn't
go back and fix it. I couldn't make them take responsibility,
and it was to do nothing. What was done was done,
it happened, it's over. But the fire inside of me.

(05:32):
I realized that it wasn't bad. This energy was vitality.
And then, of course, as I usually do, I created
an acronym so I could remember what to do next time.
Feel accept an act. But then I thought about fuego
because I was like, anger feels like fire. You know,
your chest gets like a rad and you feel hot,

(05:54):
and so Fuego is what I came up with. And
it's quite deep. I mean obviously, So fuego stands for fuel. Understand, ambition, ground, organize. Okay,
you want to turn your fuego into fuel. You want
to turn the fire into fuel because when anger comes up,

(06:16):
we are not to fear it. We are to fly
through it. We are to feel through it. You want
to use the fuego to get you to your next destination.
So let me break it down for you. F for fuel.
Let the emotion surface, no judgment, no bypass. Anger is
not a bad thing, it's information. Ask yourself, what am

(06:39):
I feeling right now in my body? Can I let
it be here without fixing it? A somatic que that
I can give you. You can place your hand on
your chest or on your belly and breathe it out.
Slow down your breath spec Typically anger is very activating
and fast. Slow down your breath. Of course, this is eric,

(07:00):
so I want to pause for a second. And depending
on what brought your anger, you might be super activated
that you might need to do something else. But this
is kind of like level from zero to five, level
three anger. You know, you don't want to be super angry,
where you like are crying and you're super disregulated. First,
we want to regulate yourselves. You stands for understand and

(07:24):
dno borgee is the emotion, explore the route, what boundary
was crossed? What is the expectation that you had that
perhaps you didn't receive it or achieve it, And which
one of your wounds perhaps was touched. In my case,
it was the wound of power, because I felt so
out of power, so out of my power, I didn't

(07:46):
have any type of control that I felt angry. Ask yourself,
what is this anger trying to show me? Where does
it come from? Your somatic queue. You can tap about it.
You can journal on it, externalize what you are learning.
Here E for ambition, max bresso sin this three. Remember

(08:10):
that anger needs movement, speak it, dance it, tap it,
shower like let water wash it out. But do it consciously,
not to burn, but to release. Ask yourself, how can
I envision this fire in a way that honors me
and doesn't harm others? Your somatic queue here you can

(08:31):
record a voice note, You can scream in a pillow.
You can move your body, go for a walk. G
for ground maklo. This is your opportunity to come back
to yourself. Regulate your nervous system once again anchor yourself
in your truth to remind yourself as long as you are,

(08:52):
that you are safe. Right now, ask yourself, what helps
me return to center? How can I remember I'm okay?
What is the reminder that my body can give me
that I am safe? Your somatic cue. Put your feet
on the ground. Perhaps you could splash cold water on
your face. Take a shower. I love showering when I'm

(09:14):
angry or any type of emotion. Actually practice some box breathing.
Tap about it. Oh own your next step, domo accion al.
Now that you've moved the energy, this is your opportunity
to choose. This is your chance to act from wisdom,

(09:35):
not from the wound that was hurt. Ask yourself, what
aligned action can you take with this nu clarity? Your
somatic que here, take one small, focused step and email
a decision of boundary. In my case, I went to
the garage and I grabbed the boxes of books that

(09:56):
I had been putting off to put in the shelf.
Put the shelf together. I was moving my body. I
chose an activity that made my body move so that
I could continue to process it. So think about how
could you continue to move it in a way that
is good for you to recover real quick. The fuego

(10:18):
method or whatever we want to call it, f to feel,
you to understand because accepting unlocks the energy e to envision,
because you want to see what's possible. Once you let
go of the blame ground to regulate, you want to
root before taking action, and oh for organized, you want
to take clear, focused, aligned action and move forward. Of course,

(10:44):
I still wish that the client had done better, but
more than that, I am grateful that I learned how
to do better by me. So if you've ever felt
burned by someone else's failure and blamed yourself, this is
your dental and tender reminder that you are allowed to
feel it, you're allowed to move through it, and you're

(11:06):
powerful enough to turn your fuego into fuel. So next
time you feel fire rising whisper to yourself, then go
and I know what to do with it. Your anger
is sacred. You said to build it, not to burn.
Got as just PROTASTATICI let's take connected all things social

(11:27):
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