How Accepting Your Past Self Can Propel Your Growth

In this week's episode, Pam gets real about accepting every part of ourselves—even the awkward, anxious, or “not enough” versions we might want to hide.

She shares a personal story from a speaking gig at SDSU that reconnects her with her younger college self, showing how healing old wounds can help us move forward. Pam leads us through a super chill and gentle tapping (EFT) exercise to help let go of shame, plus drops some journaling prompts to dig even deeper. 

If you’ve ever struggled with self-doubt, shame, or feeling like you don't belong, this episode is for you.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:03):
Soft for me Ola sopam and welcome to our Mergarito,
the place where we showcase the brands that believe in
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(00:23):
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(00:43):
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Ladies is here to support you. Visit save ladies dot org.

(01:06):
That is s A V V Y l A d
I E S dot O r G. But im bezard
your financial freedom. All the listenerspams unmuted is in sensor yo.

(01:37):
I want to talk to you about giving yourself permission
to accept every version of you. I know this is
going to sound probably very challenging and even contraplu and
eficia type thing, Sina Margon, I'm going to share a
story that hopefully will get you to connect with why
it's important to accept the versions of us, especially the wounded,

(02:02):
the awkward, the sweaty, palmed parts of you that still
exist within you. Let's just say that there are various
versions of us that have existed throughout timelines yesterday, last month,
ten years ago, and those versions of us have learned
and evolved, and they still exist within us because they

(02:27):
still have that experience. In other words, you remember what
you've lived through. So when there are specific perhaps things
that have shaped the way we see the world, those
versions of us will continue to come. I'm not going
to give you the science type of version of it,

(02:47):
but this is kind of like the simplified version. And
so many times that version, those versions of you, the
wounded versions of us, they try to hide, and they
try to hide because they don't want to be heard. Again,
the simplest way to say this is, your brain is
protecting you from being in pain. However, sometimes when those

(03:11):
versions of us kind of come to the surface because
they're trying to protect you, it's because many times you
are closer to your purpose. Of course, this doesn't apply
to every instance. If you are at the edge of
a clift and you are scared, and you're like, oh,
that's a version of me that once fell off I

(03:34):
don't know at the park. Yeah, that version of you
is trying to protect you so you can survive. And so,
of course, use your discarnment to determine when a wounded
version is showing up. But I'm going to tell you
a story. If you get my emails, you know about
this story because I shared this past week. I share

(03:55):
this email, I share this story in my weekly email. So,
so last week I had a speaking opportunity at as THESU,
which is a huge college here in San Diego. If
you don't know, it's big, and I left early because
I know I always get lost anytime I go to

(04:17):
any university that's huge like that. There's always like the
maps just don't work. It's or maybe it's me. I
don't know. So I left early because I also know
that I went to a tiny college and because I
know as the SUS practically it's own zip code. And
so this is when I tuned into a younger version

(04:40):
of me who dreamt of belonging at a school like that.
I imagine myself rocking a cute backpack, knowing where the
cool kids hung out, maybe being one of the cool kids.
I don't know. And what's funny is that I did
get lost because my map took me to the art department,
even though the professor that I that brought me into

(05:03):
to speak, literally gave me like pictures of where to go,
and I still didn't make it correctly. And as I
was in this art like, I thought it was very
ironic because as you know, I went to art school,
and so I found myself surrounded by murals, by clay

(05:24):
and ceramics projects. And suddenly I felt this almost like
a shake, almost like a bell went off and a
memory unlocked within me. I remembered how much I used
to love art, how much I used to and I
still do, how much I love creativity and expression, and

(05:47):
how excited I was to create before depression knocked on
the door, like like that toxic ex who moved in
with all his emotional baggage. Maybe that it just happened
to me, but I remembered how college me wasn't necessarily thriving. See,
she was surviving, She was balancing a toxic relationship. She

(06:09):
was navigating on diagnosed ADHD and wondering why Missouri winters
felt like punishment. But there was standing in the middle
of an art hallway, feeling a soft nudge from a
version of me I hadn't visited in a while, and
after wondering what felt like eight million steps thanks to
my Apple Watch, who said, yeay, you closed your ring today,

(06:35):
I was nervous. I was anxious, but I knew that
the anxiety didn't belong to present me. It belonged to
college me. It belonged to the girl who never quite
fit in, who longed for the gold star or for
the award, the girl who spoke two languages but still
got corrected on her grammar like it was a crime scene.

(06:56):
So I went in and gave my talk on gay culture.
We talked about it, and I've presented this to students before,
but every time I present and talk about gayetda culture
to the youth, I always get nervous. But as I
shared and we discussed, something beautiful happened. A student we're

(07:19):
gonna call him En, started participating from the get go.
The moment I arrived, he started just saying things and
it was awesome because if you've ever been in a classroom,
whether it's of younger people or young adults, like university,
they don't talk much, and so it was great for

(07:41):
me to have someone who was willing and open to sharing.
It's like him and I were having a private conversation
and it was glorious. I loved it. But then Anne
chose to share his story and shared how he had
been shushed quieted his whole life because of his autism,

(08:03):
and how he had been taught to stay quiet and
almost conditioned because people many times told him that he
quote spoke too much quote, or that people would say
that him expressing himself in the way that he does

(08:23):
made others uncomfortable, and so he it was very brave,
and he shared, you know, because I had just shared
all the things about how we are kept quiet, and
so he said, you know, what you said resonated with
me because in my case is a neurodiversity that has
led people to push me to the side and almost
made me feel ignored for a long time. And I

(08:48):
thanked him for his bravery. I noticed that moment of vulnerability,
that moment of bravery of n shifted the room. Suddenly
everyone had something to say, his courage gave the rest

(09:13):
of the class permission to speak up. I'm not going
to share more about that story because you probably read
it already read it in my email. But for me,
I realized that I hadn't given myself permission to fully
accept that version of me. Because I realized the butterflies

(09:33):
in my stomach I felt at the beginning of my talk.
They were not from twenty twenty five me. I knew that,
But as I saw the room shift and I noticed
even in myself how much acceptance I needed, I realized
that the butterflies belonged to college version of me. Because

(09:54):
college version of me wasn't done yet. She wanted to
be witnessed, She wanted to be accepted. That's where today's
episode come in, because, as one of my teachers once
told me, healing is like a slingshot. The more you're
willing to pull back the rock that you're about to propel,
the more you're willing to sit with this comfort, the

(10:16):
more you're willing to acknowledge the sadness and feel it
and honor the parts of you you've left behind, the
further forward the rock will go. The truth is that
every time I have revisited the wounded versions of me,
the silenced one, the outsider one, the little girl who

(10:36):
craved belonging. That has been a pullback moment, and that
has been also a moment of tension. But every pullback
becomes a launch. And when you give yourself permission to
feel it, when you accept her, when you honor her,
that's when you build the momentum of that version of
you who's waiting to get ahead, because she can't fly

(11:01):
if you won't let this link shot stretch. So and
lill O moneyes, I invite you to think about the
parts of you you've tried to forget, perhaps the parts
of you you've tried to silence or even hide. Maybe
the shy kid, maybe the awkward college student, maybe the

(11:21):
version who didn't get it quote right. She's still there
and she deserves to exist fully. Because this link shot
doesn't fully work if you only honor your highlight reel.
If you don't stretch it, it won't go. This link
shot works when you actually give space to the whole journey.

(11:42):
Every misstep, every heartbreak, every moment you felt like an outsider,
it's all part of that launch. So invite you to
let yourself pull back and trust that you're not going backward.
You're building power to fly forward. And I want to
cave it here to tell you that you don't have
to suffer through what happened. Again, It's not about taking

(12:06):
yourself back and like suffer through it. That's not how
it works. It's all about accepting that it's true that
it happened. It's almost like you want to pick up
what's under the rug and actually clean it out. Yeah,
it's beautiful to talk about accepting our past selves, right,
but sometimes you have to feel it in the body.

(12:28):
The body is where all of our emotions are trapped.
So yes, I know you're thinking about it. We are
going to do a quick tapping practice together, and if
you've never tapped with me, it's okay. All you have
to do is follow along. I've been tapping since college time,
so at this point twenty years and I'm a clinical
AFT practitioner. If this is your first time here, and

(12:50):
so this tapping that we're going to do, we are
going to let our body feel, allow your body to
release however it wants to release, and it's going to
be light and gentle. So it's not going to take
you into any trapped memory or any it shouldn't and
please be responsible. So if at any moment you feel

(13:10):
too much emotion, keep tapping because that will let your
body continue to release. So if you feel a lot
of emotion, it's because your body's writing to feel. Maybe
we haven't let our body feel for a long time.
So as we tap, I invite you to think about
a version of you you've been trying to hide, or
a version of you that maybe there's some shame around,

(13:36):
maybe the girl, the student, the internina. And if you're
like I don't have any versions of me that I'm
ashamed of, it's okay. Still do it and see what
comes up. So you want to repeat after me, We're
going to start tapping on the side of the hand
three times for mind, body, and soul. If you need
to adjust any wording, make sure you do so it

(13:56):
feels true to you. Okay, if you are overthinking it,
don't overthink this part. Just follow along the first time.
Even though I have a version of me I have tried,
perhaps to leave her behind, I am open to accepting

(14:17):
her now, even though I have perhaps judged her, I
am open to given her love, even though I may
have thought that she wasn't enough. I honor her strength

(14:37):
now top of the head. I give myself permission to
release the shame around thinking she had to be perfect eyebrow.
I honor her strength and resiliency. Saturday hit. I I

(15:03):
welcome her back home under the eye. She doesn't need
to earn my love under the news. I am whole
because she is part of me color bond. I am

(15:26):
willing to accept her and use her strength her resiliency
as fuel. I'm grateful for what she's gone through because

(15:49):
I am who I am because of her. Shake it off,
tick deep breast, tune in. That was very simple, That
was very easy, crafted this stepping sequence with the purpose
to not activate you and with enough words to get

(16:12):
your brain going and to get you to feel. So
if you saw me yawn in between in the middle
of it, is because that was a way that my
body released, And so don't hold back on the release.
Everyone releases different, and you may release with yawning like me,
I'm a yawner, or you may release by sneezing or
tearing up, or you may have to go use the restroom.

(16:36):
Or however, I have a client who actually sweats, and
so if you start sweating, hey, that's your body releasing. Okay, Now,
if you want to go deeper, of course, I have
some journaling prompts that I want to leave you with
that I do myself. So anytime I get a moment

(16:57):
of an activation where I feel like, oh, there's something
there that's not present me, what version of me is it?
So question number one? What version of me have I
been trying to hide? And you don't have to go
to the moment, it's simply to acknowledge maybe the version
of me that didn't speak up, maybe the version of

(17:17):
me that lost control and just when like super Delenoela screaming,
you know, So you don't have to go to a
specific moment, just think about the instances. Number two, what
did she need back then that she didn't receive? And

(17:41):
this is why it's a journaling question, because as you
let yourself write, perhaps that will give you some answers
on the thing that she was lacking. How could you
honor her now as an adult? What would you tell
her if she was sitting across from me. And there's
actually an exercise that I do with clients where we

(18:04):
actually sit down with another version of you, But you
can do this yourself through a journaling. What would you
tell her if she was literally sitting right there? And
how does accepting her help you move forward? That question
is one that has led me to just overcome so much,

(18:26):
so much shame, so much doubt, self doubt, so much fear,
because once I give myself permission to accept a version
that perhaps didn't quite make create achieve because she didn't
have the tools and resources, etc. Then I can use

(18:48):
that as power for my present self to say, Hey,
she didn't create this, yet she did it anyway, and
now because of that, I can do this. And so
my invitation to use to return to these questions and
even to the tapping sequence as often as you need it.
For Supporters Club, we're going to add just the tapping

(19:12):
sequence as a separate episode, so you have that at
any moment and you can just literally plug in and
start tapping. One thing to remember is that this exercise
of acceptance isn't a one time thing. It's a practice,
and so every time you love that prior version of
you a little more, it's a way to pull this

(19:33):
link shot back even with more intention because you're accepting
more and more, and you're building your power further in
the most authentic way to you, which is gonna say
sit the gusta comparin that you think will enjoy it,

(19:54):
and maybe a lienkin is as it don't remind her
that their past selves is serve love too. One of
let's take an e did on socials at kafa compam
podcast on all the places and spaces Have you ready
to keep dismantling the culture? Head over to cavea compum
dot com and take the quiz. Check out all the
things that we do. Join the Supporters Club to keep

(20:14):
their this work going. Nass Branto