Navigating First-Gen Mental Health: Insights from Dr. Lisette Sanchez

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:03):
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Your path to financial freedom can start today. Olain Welcome

(01:43):
to Kapakompam, the bilingual podcast that shares our stories scenes
Sansura ELOI. I am joined by doctor Alist Sanchez, an
award winning bilingual and bicultural psychologist, speaker, and writer who's
dedicated to empowering first generation professional especially Latina's and BIPUK leaders.
She is known for her work breaking mental health barriers

(02:06):
like the impost phenomenon and inter generational trauma while helping
folks build confidence from the inside out door. Lisett is
a founder of Kalathia Wellness and co founder of First
Gen Bipock Therapists, and her work has been featured in
so many places including led Times, Refinery, twenty nine, Hiplatina,

(02:27):
and many more. To a Lissett brings deep expertise and
co asson to everything she does, and I'm so excited
for you to hear this conversation. She's lovely, it was
super easy to talk to and we had a lot
of fun conversion about you know, mental health, because I
love talking about mental health and I think it's so

(02:47):
important as you get a kistemic conversation this fruit. Doctor
Eliseet Welcome to a compum thank you.

Speaker 2 (03:00):
I am so delighted to be here.

Speaker 1 (03:02):
So excited to do it here, to have you and
explore your story and all the things mental health. So
the first question we always ask is what is your heritage?

Speaker 2 (03:13):
Yeah, and I love that you start all of your
episodes like this so much, because especially with the Latine
identity that is, there's so much diversity within it. And
you know, like I grew up in southern California. So
I grew up in North Hollywood, in the San Fernando Valley.
And when I was in school, I had a high

(03:34):
school teacher, this older white male, and he would say,
I don't care where any of you are from. If
any of you are south of the border, you're Mexican
to me, right, So, oh my gosh, I know, I know, right,
and I'm I you know, this was in the like,
I graduated high school in two thousand and six, right,

(03:55):
so this is the early two thousand. This isn't like
for like, this didn't happen fifty years ago, right, this
is not long ago but twenty years But still it's
not that you didn't think, yeah, recent enough, recent enough
in my memories. And so anyway, I'm so young in
my heart. But I I and that's why when you
ask this question, it's extra important because I remember how

(04:17):
in so many spaces our identities people try to erase
them and or you know, put us in these different boxes.
And so for me embracing my heritage because my parents
are also from two different countries, and then I was
raised here in the United States, and so like what
that means is by cultural multicultural identity. And so I'm

(04:39):
the eldest daughter of hard working immigrants from Mexico in
the Salvador. My father came from a small town in
aluascalient called the Besala, but my father's family moved to
Ta Gate when he was a kid. So Tkate is
more of the familiarity I have when I go to Mexico,

(05:00):
which is honestly such a treat to have my family
so close to live on a border town for anyone
who doesn't know, it's just east of Tijuana, a hopover,
just a hopover for my family, three hour drive to
get there, and so very easy to visit my family there.
And that was intentional because my grandfather came to work

(05:20):
in a little Leaveo and my grandmother wanted to be
closer with her eleven children, and so you know, big families,
and my mom from a Salvador she grew up in
a very rural area that she's like doesn't exist anymore.
She says, there was a damn that was created and
it's all covered up. Yeah, she's like, I couldn't even

(05:42):
tell you. But when people ask you where I'm from,
you say, Son Migel. So that's what I say.

Speaker 1 (05:48):
That's wild.

Speaker 2 (05:50):
Yeah, No, not Sun Miguel, the area that she was from.
That she's like, it doesn't that's gone. Yeah, that's what's gone.
We call it San Miguel because that's the closest and
you know it was. That's how rural my mother's upbringing was,
is what I meant to explain, right, Yeah.

Speaker 1 (06:09):
But that's still wild because and thank you for calling that,
because Evan questioned at times for asking this question, because
sometimes people have said, like why does it matter? But
I do think to your point, it does matter where
we come from and honoring the culture and honoring the history,

(06:29):
and even to your mom's Puebla or you know, that
space where she comes from. Like the fact that it
doesn't exist anymore, that's wild.

Speaker 2 (06:37):
Yeah. Yeah, She's like, we can't go there, and I
was like, what do you mean we can't go there?
And yeah, and so we are able to visit my
mom's like aunt, so my grandmother's sister's home like that
was there. And so last July it was my first
time as an adult in and because the only time
I was there was a two year old, so I

(06:59):
don't I don't remember anything, but last summer we went
and it was such a powerful experience. And so for
anyone listening, if you haven't had an opportunity and you
can reconnect with your roots in any way, if you're
able to travel or whether it's you know, going into
the media around there, there's so much access now with
our internet, our libraries, you know, domain totally.

Speaker 1 (07:24):
So how was it for you let's go there? How
was it for you to one decide? Because I wonder,
and of course I don't know all the context, but
once your mom tells you like the place where I
grew up doesn't exist anymore, I wonder if that even
gave you more gunnas to go and explore.

Speaker 2 (07:44):
See what's hard is Yeah, Well, I always wanted to go.
I've always wanted to go, I've always wanted to connect.
But I didn't because of concerns around safety. And these
are concerns my mom had right that one time we
were there when I was like one time we were
there when I was a kid. All her memories are
basically having to stay in one space because yeah, yeah,

(08:07):
because that is and so I because it's the it's
feeling more safe now for us to visit with my mom.
My mom actually went and it was my mom's first
time since that time that I was a kid. So
it was me, my mom, her two sisters. This is
the first time the three of them had been in
the Salvador together in over like thirty thirty four years.

Speaker 1 (08:30):
Yeah, oh my gosh, that's like a documentary. Did you
record it?

Speaker 2 (08:35):
I had my own moments, you know, we recorded a
few things, but I was just like at the end,
you know, my you know, I was so curious what
this would be like for my mom because she she
didn't leave, you know, the circumstances under where she left
for you know, like very scary and so and as
a mental health like person in the mental health feel
the psychologist, I was. I was worried for her. I'm like,

(08:58):
how is she going to feel? Like all the triggers, Yeah,
like what's going to happen? And so I felt like
slightly on edge initially was the house is going to be?
But I'm also you know, I was also trying to
experience everything for myself and embrace, you know, whatever emotions came,
whatever spiritual connection I felt. I you know, my my grandmother,

(09:21):
my maternal grandmother, passed away in two thousand and seven sixteen,
in twenty sixteen, and so being there last year, there
was so much of her that I felt, and there
was there was a lot. It was pretty, it was
it was really emotional. When we landed, I was exhausted,
you know, it's humid, but there was this deeply spiritual

(09:45):
connection that I felt.

Speaker 1 (09:47):
And so as soon as you landed, I love that.

Speaker 2 (09:49):
Yeah. As soon as we stepped out of the airport
and I'm there and they look around, I'm like, there's
you know, there's this calling right, like it's like your body, Yeah,
my body was, there's home here. This is home too, right,
And so I'm I'm very grateful that I had to
do I had that opportunity, and I you know, cannot

(10:10):
wait to make more trips out and have it no
longer be these big gaps between when I when I
get to visit these places.

Speaker 1 (10:19):
Totally and through your work. You mentioned a lot the
eldest daughter thing. You know, I'm an eldest daughter, Damien,
And so as you're talking about this trip and being
a mental health professional and working like not only having
your lift experience but also being in the field, I'm

(10:40):
curious about how did you manage not just your own
experience of going back to the land after so long
and also having that eldest daughter responsibility of like taking
care of mom because you kind of like briefly went
into it, but let's go into it.

Speaker 2 (10:57):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh. I was so nervous about this.
I was like, how am I going to feel? You know,
I have my own therapist, so you know I talk
to my before. Yeah, I did. Here's the thing. Being
in the field means that I am what I advocate
the most that I can is prevention. If you know
that there's going to be a stressful situation coming up,

(11:18):
the best we can do is prepare for it. Yes,
you know, just prepare for it and the best way
you can and I and I do that as much
as I can. So with my therapist, I'm going I'm
being a bit nervous how I'm going to feel, and
then thinking about, well, what do I need to help
me feel better there? So actually for the first few
days as a trip, my my spouse, my husband came

(11:40):
and he he so he went on that flight. He
only came for you could you could only go there
for the weekend. He's like, I'll go, like, I want
you there just for the first few days so that
I have someone else to help ground me, if you know.
So he came, talked to my therapist about it, and
then there was a lot of have to accept and

(12:00):
remind myself, you know, like my mom is an adult,
and like, you know, we will face things as they happen.
But I think not because sometimes you know, with being
the oldest daughter and having had these responsibilities to care
you know, it's it's parentification, right you places and role

(12:21):
an adult. Uh. And so then that makes it so
that I'm a bit more attuned to some of my
mom's needs, right I'm like, oh, and so needing to
recognize that I don't I don't need to be as attuned.
I can turn in that attunement inward, like what do
I need right now? First? Like she's there, her sisters

(12:41):
are there right, like you know, like it does like
and and my cousin, my my eldest male cousin came
with us too, so it was yeah, yeah, yeah, he
came from yeah, from my my Marina, who's the second
middle daughter. Her help son came too. So it was

(13:01):
me and my mom's the eldest sister, right, so ah yeah,
we are a generation of eldests and so that's fun.
A few generations. Yeah, yeah, so you can imagine the dynamics.
It's like my mom and her sisters, and so I
knew that. It was like we we're gonna have a
few different dynamics going on, but it's gonna be okay

(13:22):
to put again, connecting with the resources that I have
taught me be okay. And then when I was there,
grounding myself in the moments that I needed to, but
I didn't need to as much as I thought I would.

Speaker 1 (13:34):
Supervention worked, Yeah, it worked.

Speaker 2 (13:37):
My preparing worked. I was like, I know what I need.
So when I was there, I I, you know, folks,
on being really present in the moments, not letting my
mind wander too much about the worries about the what
ifs because I had processed all of those right, like
I'm prepared for whatever comes up. And it was a
lovely trip.

Speaker 1 (13:59):
I love that. So the reason why I wanted to
get kind of like dig into this question is because
there's a lot of people that are like feeling this
calling to go back. And you also talk about generational
trauma and how I love how you called the the

(14:20):
fact that the moment you landed, you felt the air,
you felt the land. You were like, this is home.
Grandma was here, She's still here, you know, it's like Gasita.
And I feel like a lot of people are feeling
that call back into the place where we come from.
And I mean, in your case, I think that was

(14:41):
an intense trip because you took mom and it was
like a whole thing. But even when people go by themselves,
how do they manage or could they do the prevention work?
Because even when they're not taking their parents, your body
still knows it, like the generational like it's in the

(15:01):
traumas in the body. And so what would you say
to the people that are like traveling and they like,
while it's really fun to talk about the bliss and
the excitement and the joy that you feel and the
groundedness at the same time, it's like, oh, this is
the place that my people run away from because at
some point it was filled with violence and pain.

Speaker 2 (15:20):
Yeah. Yeah, I think just having that awareness is step one, right,
and anything that any of the work that I do,
especially with my like individual therapy clients, we want to understand,
like what is actually going to come up for us?
What am I anticipating? Right? Am I avoiding doing anything?

(15:41):
You know? Like, am I am I telling me I
don't want to think about this? No, Well, especially if
you're avoiding giving yourself some time to be clear on
what are my expectations because I wasn't expecting to feel
that when I landed. I was curious. I'm like, oh,
what is it going to feel like when I'm there?
But there was no expectations, So it'd be having self

(16:02):
awareness around like what are your triggers? Like what are
things that might come up for you? Are you someone
you know who when you're there you want to be
fully disconnected? Like is your phone a trigger for you?
Like will people be bothering your messaging? And you're like,
I don't have capacity for this, and do not disturb
right or turn it off, and so those triggers you're
a work and if you are avoiding anything, sitting with

(16:27):
yourself around that, journaling around it, and seeking support. I
think these are the basics right when I'm thinking of
the basics. Obviously, deeper work is always helpful, like when
you can actually work with a professional, but if you can't,
before you go, sit with yourself, journal and be clear,
what are my expectations for this trip, Like what do

(16:49):
I want from this trip? What am I afraid of
might happen on this trip? What resources do I have
to manage the challenges that might come up for me
on this trip? And just be very clear with yourself.
And you don't have to sit down do that all
at once. You can do this in pieces and they
could also be conversations with trusted peers.

Speaker 1 (17:13):
That's so good. Listeners, pause, reflect, come back in a second.

Speaker 2 (17:21):
Yeah, because I just in a nutshew gave you you
know what. I the part of the conversations I'm having
with my clients and the conversations i had with my therapist,
like what I am I afraid of?

Speaker 1 (17:30):
How Scooby totally? And I'm curious when like you, I
have I'm an eldest daughter from Mexican parents. Both my
parents are from Mexico, and so I'm always curious about
people that have different countries of heritage. And so you
talk about your trip to do you feel the same
or different when you go to Mexico?

Speaker 2 (17:52):
Yes? Yes, And I love that you asked this question
because you know Mexico. Again, it's a trip that's more
frequent for me at least. Taate. We'd go every year
for Christmas and often my grandmother's birthday. But I did
go to the Pessala, that small town that my dad
was from once. That was when we were when when

(18:14):
I just graduated high school. Again, this is me since
I was a kid. I was like, can we please go?
I want to go, and we ended up taking a
trip where again, these all tend to be family experiences, right,
So it's my dad, my mom, my brother, and my
grandmother came and I think a few of my aunts
and uncles. I can't it's been so long now, but

(18:35):
I I remember us being there. I remember us going
to the Pueblito or my dad. I grew up visiting
my my you know, great grandmother who was still alive
at the time. SSA. Yeah, and so and just kind
of experiencing that, and I remember being like, wow, Now,
at eighteen, I didn't have the same awareness that I

(18:58):
have now. You know, I was still a kid. I
was still you know, thinking of like where do I
get my candy? Yeah, I was.

Speaker 1 (19:08):
I was just I was just a girl.

Speaker 2 (19:09):
I was just a girl, right, And so I wasn't
centered as I am now, right, I wasn't actively thinking
about that. But I remember being full of wonder, you know,
just like taking it all in, being just like, wow,
this is where my dad used to play. This is
where he would find those little ants with honey, like,

(19:31):
this is where those things happened, because he would share
these stories. And so I think that when I went
to a Saaladon for the first time, it reminded me
of that trip and that experience because we were all
there together and my dad was also revisiting memories because
that was his first place that he.

Speaker 1 (19:51):
Left, you know, ought that and it was his first
time back back.

Speaker 2 (19:56):
That was his first time back. But I don't think
it had it had an been as long for my
dad at that point, right. I'm trying to remember if
I think he had traveled in between them but I
just know I hadn't been as long for him by then.
And in terms of family, for the most part, you know,
he has a strong connection, is a strong bond, and
we see them so much more frequently. Like I may

(20:18):
only go the one two times a year, but my
dad any chance he gets he said, I'm going to yes,
going to the gate, you know, and I get it.
When I see my dad in the gade. My dad
feels like a boy again, right, he said. It's his siblings,
He's with his mom, you know, and and and like

(20:38):
you know, and so it's it's a special joy that
I enjoy witnessing.

Speaker 1 (20:45):
So it is a little bit different, yeah, yes.

Speaker 2 (20:49):
Yes, different. Yeah, there are different countries, different experiences. And
I think the Attle trip, I had been wanting to
do this for all of my life, right, and Mom
was like, please don't go. We'll go together when I
feel like it's safe. And I'm like, okay. So that
was different. But when I'm in the Sava, I mean,
and I'm in Mexico, I mean, I you know, like

(21:10):
there's still those are also my roots, right, and so
I don't want to but they are different, right, I
feel the connections in both places, but the connection in
the Salvador was one that I felt that I had
been so thirsty for and like waiting where I think
my connection with Mexico I get. I get my tastes

(21:33):
every so often, so I'm like, oh, okay, I get this,
I want this. But I have been feeling like I
want to do a trip to more deeper parts of
Mexico and just explore more of that country, right, yeah,
why not? See?

Speaker 1 (21:50):
Okay? Everyone? That is because I often like encounter people,
especially now that they have one pair from one place
and a parent from the other. And I think it's
like even I would say, and I've been quoted on this,
it's not that you're half this, half that is that

(22:11):
your whole and you're part of you is this, and
part of you is that. But you're a whole regardless,
and you know, and so I think it's important to
honor all the sides of you.

Speaker 2 (22:25):
Yes, yeah, and I do, right. And you know, when
people are like, what was it like growing up, I'm like,
it was just what, Its just right?

Speaker 1 (22:33):
Right?

Speaker 2 (22:34):
I didn't know that there were differences, and I, you know,
in my education and as I moved and lived in
different places, then I got exposed to even more of
the diversity in our Latini bad, even more of the
terms and the language that we use for things, because
you know, I grew up in la I went to

(22:54):
school in San Diego, then New York, then Oregon and yeah, wow,
uh so it you meet people who all have such
diverse backgrounds, but we have so many underlying values that
are very similar. Even when you think of the individualistic

(23:15):
cultures of it, right, there's so much that still overlaps.
But I don't know, there's such a trend to separate
everything sometimes because everyone wants the perfect box. But it's
we're we are creating our new our new identities, right
and what that means.

Speaker 1 (23:33):
So, how did Li said before she was doctor? How
did you even I've heard you tell the story, but
I think that you wanted to be a psychologist?

Speaker 2 (23:47):
Yeah, yeah, okay, I know everyone always asked me this.
I remember, and again there's like a sometimes people will
ask this and say, you know, because there's so much
stigma in our culture, how did you think that was
an option? And then I share that I had an
experience with a therapist when I was very young. They're like,

(24:07):
how did that happen? How are your parents open to that?
And you know, I never asked myself that, but as
an adult, I'm not considering how resistant they are now
to any time I'm like, well maybe you should try therapy, right,
you know, I think I was like, wow, it really
did take a lot for them to be willing to
accept help for their daughter. So I had very severe

(24:32):
separation anxiety when I started school, and so my mom,
you know, was like I just didn't know what to do.
She's like, what do I do? And so the teacher
suggested that she brings me to a therapist. And I
don't remember very much from that experience because I was
so young, but I remember learning there are people out.

Speaker 1 (24:51):
There who help people, help people, to help.

Speaker 2 (24:54):
People when they have, like when they're going through a
hard time, Like that's something people can can do. They
can just they can help. And you know, I think, naturally,
being the eldest daughter, being one of the eldest cousins
on like my mom's side, being in this role of
nurture caregiver.

Speaker 1 (25:12):
You're already this.

Speaker 2 (25:16):
Yeah. I was like, I'm already doing this, but I
but I also enjoyed it, right, I found And so
because I recognized. I enjoyed it. And then sometime in
middle school, my memory is of a teacher asking me
what do you want to be when you grow up,
and I told her I want to be a psychologist,
and she her answer, I don't know if you heard

(25:36):
this part, but her answer was, I can see you
doing that. You have doctor handwriting.

Speaker 1 (25:46):
That's funny.

Speaker 2 (25:48):
I was like, okay, but here's here's I think where
why I knew I had the psychologists am eyeing before
I understood what a psychologist did because I heard I
can see you doing that, And I was like, and
that's enough for me because I don't need to hear
the rest. I can see you doing that. Cool me too,
Me too, I can see myself doing that. And yeah,

(26:12):
so that dream that became my dream. And it was
one step in front of the other to get to
that dream because being first gen right, my parents, I
didn't talk about their education, but my parents, my mom
growing up in the very rural area, my dad needing
to leave school to help support the family because there
was eleven of them. They only had to middle school

(26:35):
education in their home countries. Right, they come here, they
value education. They tell me, this is what you have
to do. This is what helps you, and so I'm like, Okay,
this is what we're doing, but also how do I what?
Thankfully there were teachers who helped and who cared. Right again,

(26:56):
I think our teachers are also our careaciters. In other words,
they're also are also healers, and sometimes they're the first introduction.
Sometimes they're healing us, or other times they are the
ones creating the wounds. Like that teacher with the you're
all Mexican, dude.

Speaker 1 (27:13):
They probably still exist.

Speaker 2 (27:15):
Oh, I'm sure they do. But yeah, I don't remember
his I could not tell you his name, but I
remember that sentence. Yeah, I think, because again my brain's like,
we don't need to remember.

Speaker 1 (27:24):
This guy's name, but correct.

Speaker 2 (27:26):
Yeah. So I applied, uh to collegists a psychologygy major,
and I thought, I'm going to be a psychologist when
I graduate college.

Speaker 1 (27:35):
You know, I didn't know the path, no idea.

Speaker 2 (27:38):
I had no idea at the time. You know, I'm
applying to places. I'm going to a library to do this.
I'm you know, filling out all a scan you know,
and just using the computers at school to figure this out. Thankfully,
having teachers who would help me like Fudd is a FAVSVA,
you know. And so I'm always very grateful for those
who were my initial mentors. My parents are now grateful

(28:02):
for them, although at the time they believed I was brainwashed, but.

Speaker 1 (28:07):
They did. What did they want you to be?

Speaker 2 (28:12):
They wanted me to go to college. But their idea
of studying was you live at home, you study, you know,
you studied from home. You go to a local community college,
then you get married, and then you move out once
you're married.

Speaker 1 (28:27):
You know, like until you're married, and you're because a.

Speaker 2 (28:31):
Woman by herself. And I, oh, this daughter, I'm independent, y'all.
You taught me to be independent, you know, but not
so much. So not so much. And so you know,
they event they accepted it and supported it because they
didn't stop me from going. But the messages were there, right,
you were brainwashed. My grandmother calling me like, your mom

(28:54):
is sick, it's your fault for leaving, and I'm like, no,
I don't understand, but but I had the dream, and
so I got to college, got took a class that
was seminars for careers in psychology, learned that I did
not in fact become a psychologist. I was like, what

(29:17):
I need to do more school? And then then you know,
I was like, okay. Then then it was one step
at a time again, and I think, and I want
to I keep reiterating that because sometimes the dream can
feel so big. Yeah, I can feel insurmountable. But when
we break it up into the smaller, like, my goal
at that point became Okay, I'm going to need a

(29:39):
PhD at some point, but most schools require at least
a three point zero to apply. I have a two
point six, chief.

Speaker 1 (29:48):
People, can we round it up?

Speaker 2 (29:52):
Yeah? I was like, how did this work? But this
was first quarter, right, I just you know, I transitioned.
There's a lot that led to that, right, and so
I to be and I was, I was in remedia
writing classes, you know, like I was figuring it out.
And yeah, so step one, increase my GPA. That's all
I focused on. What do I do to get that up?

(30:13):
And then we figure that out? How do I become
more competitive? And I found resources and so one thing
about me, my other strength is, you know, although we
talk about how asking for help is hard, it's like
if I if I have to apply for the help
and if I get it, that's a reward. So that's
not help, you know, so.

Speaker 1 (30:33):
Like it doesn't feel like it took like enough work
to earn it.

Speaker 2 (30:37):
Yeah yeah, like I worked for it and I earned it,
versus when I just asked for help, did I earn it? Right? So, so,
but I would I got help through programs like the
McNair Scholar. I was a McNair Scholar and McNair Scholar
for folks maybe are unfamiliar with that, it is a
program that's typically in undergraduate universities and it is meant

(30:58):
to help students who are underrepresented or typically marginalized have
access to resources to apply to graduate school. And graduate
school can be master's or doctoral programs, and I when
you are accepted, they provide you with a mentor and
financial resources and most of the time you are able
to waive your application fees.

Speaker 1 (31:18):
Nice.

Speaker 2 (31:19):
Yeah so yeah, I was like help, but it's an award,
you know, like again the way that might like yeah,
so yeah, so got that. And then then that helped
me understand like, Okay, this is the applications, this is

(31:40):
what that looks like, how to help you be more prepared.
So I'm always very grateful for the MEC and air program.
And there are many other ones like that. I think
Mark is another one. But if anyone's in college student
listening to this, like look into your university resources, figure
out what they have available to you, because oftentimes are
not as promoted, right or you know, when you're first

(32:03):
jun you just.

Speaker 1 (32:04):
Just don't know, correct, You just don't know correct?

Speaker 2 (32:07):
Yeah, that that applied, you know, and.

Speaker 1 (32:10):
Just made it happen. Something similar happened to me, very similar,
because I also first and also's daughter all the things,
and I wanted to be an architecture So I finished
high school in Mexico City and Le Lucas was so
I had. I graduated high school with like what I

(32:34):
guess it's considered here like ap classes. I don't know,
but I did calculus, trigonometry, physics, chemistry because that's the
path to go into architecture school. And in my head,
because this is when you don't know what, you don't
know any university because in Mexico La Majoria and listen,
niversity like at least public universities the ballastin and and

(32:58):
so I was like, yeah, like I'm just gonna go
to a university here, go to architecture school like whatever,
and lor Mill, Like, little did I know? I was
in my I think it was self. Sophomore is when
you declare your major.

Speaker 2 (33:15):
I think, yeah, I think so usually yeah.

Speaker 1 (33:17):
So the counselor was like, hey, you need to declare
your major. And I was like, well, I'm going through
a list and I don't see architecture. And he was like, no,
you have to go. You have to transfer to a
bigger university and then the nearest because I went to
college alemissary, the closest one is KU, like the University
of Kansas and those like in Lawrence, Kansas, though like

(33:39):
I don't know two hours away, and I was like, ah,
I already moved to come here, Like what is happening?
And I went into like a deep depression and didn't
know what I didn't know and it's like a real
thing that a lot of us navigate, and so I
ended up going. I stayed in the art department. So
I became an art kid. I was a theater kid.

(34:01):
I became an art kid because I was like, what's
the closest thing to our, Like I don't want to
like everybody. Had to solve so many problems in my life,
including coming here and figure this out. I don't have
to solve another move and another like what and it's
so much more expensive, Like it was a lot And
so I ended up not becoming an architect. Obviously. I

(34:24):
stayed in the art department and there was a lot
of fun.

Speaker 2 (34:26):
But that was like.

Speaker 1 (34:28):
One of those things that I think about, how different
would my life have been if the resources had been there?
And I almost witched psychology. Fun fact, I was like
super close. Maybe one day I refuse academia. Yeah, I
have a thing with academia. It's like we could talk

(34:48):
about it, but.

Speaker 2 (34:51):
Hey, it's we got through it. I got through it,
had a dream, but it would you know, I would
not do that.

Speaker 1 (35:01):
I did hear that often?

Speaker 2 (35:04):
Oh yeah, oh yeah, yeah it's I am so I
admire the people who stay, especially any any person with
a marginalized identity who stay and work in academia, especially
ten year track, because for me, I looked at it,
I was like, that's just an extension of grad school,
and grad school was torturous and traumatic and I'm trying

(35:31):
to I'm trying. This is a means to an end
for me, I go somewhere else totally, But anyway, you
do what you do. You figure out what you need
to for whatever makes sense for you at that time.
You know, in your instance, you're like, I'm recognizing my
internal resources are maxed out. Yep, maxed out. So how

(35:53):
do I make what I have available to me work
for me?

Speaker 1 (35:58):
You did, and we graduated, and you graduated and you
do amazing. So here we are asking questions for a living. Yeah, well,
let's take a quick coffee break. So totally do you

(36:18):
drink coffee?

Speaker 2 (36:20):
I don't drink coffee. I am really I know. I
love I love how it smells, I love the taste,
like but I have when I have coffee, I have
to have decaf because I'm very sensitive to caffeine. Oh yeah, you.

Speaker 1 (36:36):
Start bouncing off the walls.

Speaker 2 (36:38):
I get what everyone tells me they love about drinking coffee,
but I get it like at such an intense tovest
that I'm like, I decaf. Literally I feel probably what
you feel, what most people feel with the regular cup
of coffee with a decafe such a small amount of caffeine.
Or if I get like a regular coffee, I'm like,
give me the small one and then I will share

(37:00):
it with someone unless unless I'm unless I'm like ready
to like dance it out or something, you know. But otherwise,
if I'm sitting there, I've yeah, I've I've learned. I've learned.
But I always my belief is like, maybe that's just
for now, but maybe at some point I'm going to
need it, right, But I got through.

Speaker 1 (37:20):
I was going to say, if you got through grad
schools without it, I think you're.

Speaker 2 (37:24):
Good, you know, But but I love the smell and
flavor and the experience of it. But yeah, when I go,
I will order decaf and not everywhere will have decaf,
and I get the looks. I get the looks, and
I'm like, I get it.

Speaker 1 (37:38):
I know, I know, I trust me, especially the purists,
Like if you go to a specialty coffee shop, they're
probably like, oh.

Speaker 2 (37:51):
I know. I was like, I know, I give you
hot chocolate then, right, so.

Speaker 1 (37:56):
With your beverage of choice.

Speaker 2 (37:58):
So uh, if I go to where if they have decaf,
then I will get caf And I love like lavender, lavender,
oat milk, dica lat or, and I know, I'm always like,
if I really want just like a hot drink, I am.
I do love tea. Recently, I had someone who made

(38:18):
me a camra meal like latte, she called it. But
it was like a camra meal like film milk, like
with oat milk. Yeah, with oat milk and cameo and
it was really yummy and like I felt very relaxed after.
I was like, Okay, I had never had that, and

(38:39):
we'll have it again.

Speaker 1 (38:40):
So cammel lavender that combo is like, yeah, very yummy too.
If you like the lavender letter, I mean the camera
MEALTI Latin. Maybe you could combine levender with camel and
then you passed out.

Speaker 2 (38:56):
That sounds lovely. That's definitely an evening drink. But yeah,
so normally that that's decaf or you know, like teas
that they'll have on the menu. I love uh. And
but you know, I love if anyone ever has a
like Mexican hot chocolate.

Speaker 1 (39:17):
And so do you have a morning ritual that you like?
Were you prep a bebby or Bevy or you just no?

Speaker 2 (39:27):
I just water. I nor only have water in the
mornings to help me up. Yeah, no, I hydration is
so important to me. But no, I laughed because recently,
as I got older, I was like, oh, I need
to start having more fiber my diet. So recently, it's
like water with the metal musical and I'm just like,

(39:48):
just this is good for you. I understand, yeah, yeah,
the healthy one. But yeah, I'm you know, I my water,
this is this is what makes me happy.

Speaker 1 (39:59):
I love that. I I'm very much like the other
day I threaded. That is what we call it now.
I don't know that my emotional support drinks need at
the whole desk, because you know, I have water, I
have water with electrolytes, I have tea, I have cocao,

(40:20):
I have coffee, and sometimes you know, they just kind
of like accumulate and it's a whole thing. But what
I'm drinking today. So I have been called a lot
to cocao, and I've been learning a lot about it.
It's been a really powerful plant that's been calling me

(40:40):
for a long time and I'm finally listening and I
have been playing a lot with it. It's really fun.
So I don't know if you've had cause you talk
about Mexican chocolate, the cacao is kind of like before
becomes chocolate, So it's like a much more less processed
coco bean. And I I am I'm not gonna like

(41:01):
like cuver like days. But what I'm drinking is a
I realized that I have they call them stinging nettles.
So it looks like a root, it looks like a
like a weed. So I realize that like since we
had a lot of rain in CALFORNI I amn'tenego like

(41:25):
it just went they went wild. They started growing. And
so one of my Coca teachers actually she was like,
we have a lot of stinging nettles growing. So if
you find them in your yard, like, those are great
to like forge. And then I looked into them more
and they I do indeed have stinging nettles. And back
in Egypt, way back when, the reason why they're called

(41:46):
stinging nettles is because when if you touch them, they
sting you and you get like a little like kind
of like an allergic reaction. But back in the day
Egyptians used to use them as like they sting you
to support with arthritis pain wild right, And so I

(42:09):
have these like a ton of singing nettles growing in
my yard, and I like, like a good senor and
go and I like forage them. And what I have
been doing all that to say is what I'm drinking
is I brew the water I make like sing ittle
tea with funny Greek with this time I added ana

(42:31):
like the planta. I forgot to add morning but next time,
and raspberry seeds and the nettles, and then I add
cacao and I make this whole concoction and it's delicious.
And then to my cocao I've added I feel like
the listeners when they listen to me, like mentioned my

(42:51):
drinks and I'm like, w t F what like, oh
my gosh, but I promise they're delicious. And I add
did they say almonds, like smashed almonds to give like
a crunch, because I run a lot of cocaanos, And
I mean I think it's like maybe it's a nero
divers thing like my ADHD just like requires a lot
of things, but it's so fun.

Speaker 2 (43:15):
I you know, that was the same to you. I'm like,
it's a lot, but also like this, this is such
a any routine that we have to prepare for like that,
like we you you savor it so much more, right,
you say, You're like I picked this from my yard
clean I got this, this is mine and so it's

(43:37):
like and so I love that. And then we talk
about the singing metal metal metal. My grandmother, my maternal grandmother.
She used to get bees and sing herself or.

Speaker 1 (43:50):
That's a whole therapy. Yeah, yeah, yeah she did before
they became thing.

Speaker 2 (43:55):
Probably yeah, yeah, she would do that, say fight. I
was like, why are there a bunch of he's in
a bag here? You know? She would like see that.
I was like, and I was like, you know, any
these things are so painful? Yeah, oh my god. But yeah,
so that's what that brought back, that memory of thinking

(44:16):
about that.

Speaker 1 (44:16):
I'm like, oh, you're right, I mean, and I love
your plants in the back, like, you know, was so good.
They're so good. First, I think I often think about
my chemistry teacher. She was like, you talk about teachers,
I agree one hundred percent. Like teachers are like such

(44:37):
great caregivers. So she was one of my favorite teachers.
And she taught us that everything we feel is chemistry.
And you know, when you're like seventeen, you're like, oh,
but we made cheese, we made perfumes, we made candles,
we made like so many things in the lab because

(45:00):
everything we feel is chemistry. And she was like, even
the things that, like you feel the air, that's chemistry.
You feel your body. That's and so like I fell
in love with chemistry for a minute. I was like, oh,
I'm going to become a chemist, and then like I
started doing formulas and I'm like, yeah, my no, my
brain just cannot We'll stick to admiring chemistry. And during
that class, she also told us how all the medicine,

(45:24):
like I have brought an espirin, all the things come
from plants, and so like I often bring myself back
to how could I touch the plant before I go
to the medicine cabinet. How could I find the plant
first before I go to the medicine cabinet. And so
the stinging nettle thing, it's a great untime inflammatory.

Speaker 2 (45:49):
Yes, well yeah you know, And so I'm like that
makes sense arthritis and comatory, very anti inflammatory cocktail.

Speaker 1 (46:00):
You've made a very well because I think, well, I'm
also my period, so I'm like, how do I help
my womb? Like just and it helps the raspberry Yes, yeah,
it's like kind of wild. So I often think about
my chemistry teacher when I'm like making my concoctions, and
I'm like, see, I didn't go I didn't do like
all the compounds. But I'm doing it with plants. Why not?

Speaker 2 (46:22):
I that sounds like such an amazing teacher, Like I.
I hope, I hope that she inspired other people to
do what she does, because honestly, it makes such a
big difference. Maybe not the formula was, but you understand
so much of your interactions with the world, the things
that you have, you put, what you put in your body,

(46:45):
because someone actually taught you the real life application exactly,
not just that you know, h two L whatever, it's physics.

Speaker 1 (46:53):
You're right, the compounds, Yes, the compounds. All right, super
long coffee break. But let's go back to the show
and back to your story. Doctor lisaid, Okay, so we
are running out of time. I feel like at some

(47:15):
point of a combament is going to be we're going
to be at a studio and we're going to like
go for hours like the big podcast, because there's just
so much to talk about. But in this case, you know,
we have like ten fifteen minutes left. So how did
you decide you went through the whole process of you
survived academia?

Speaker 2 (47:35):
I did, yay.

Speaker 1 (47:38):
So how did you decide that you were going to
focus on first genes?

Speaker 2 (47:43):
Yeah? Yeah, okay, So I you know, part of the
dream was always wanting to help my community that and
initially it was like my Latine communidad, right, And so
I had that experience, I worked in community mental health,
and through those experiences, I am with that. But then
I had an experience at university counseling centers where I

(48:05):
worked with more first gen college students and I had
those sessions, and you know, I saw myself and every
single one of those kids I heard students. I saw
myself in every one of those students, and they're not
they're adults, got young adults and I but also when

(48:30):
I heard their stories, I would be sitting there in
sessions with them and hearing the same stories that I
that were my life, you know, all those years before.
And then I had this like realization of like, okay,
first gen college students, we're still experiencing the same patterns,
Like this is a population as first gens are not

(48:52):
getting enough resources to focus on our mental health. If
I'm hearing the same thing that happened to me when
I started undergrad, right, and I went to school for
thirteen years, Yeah, I was like, I've gone to school
for thirteen years, and I feel like I'm back to
my first day in college when I work with these students,

(49:13):
and so, you know, working with them, but working within
the system, I was finding I was experiencing more burnout
because the reality is first gan Latina psychologists, there's only
so many of us. There's only so many Latina psychologists.
There's so many first gen psychologists, and so when you're
in a system, they're going to max you out right

(49:35):
because and I want to I want to see the students,
I want to help them, but I also one part
I want, I want, and so I took the risk
into entrepreneurship. And when I was taking that risk, everyone's like, well,
what are you going to specialize in. I'm like, I

(49:55):
don't know, because I'm also terrified of not making any
money because remember I went to school and now I'm
graduating with them student loans. I don't have any savings,
I don't have any inheritance. I have no safety net.

Speaker 1 (50:10):
There's no t rest fund here, there's.

Speaker 2 (50:12):
Nothing, you know, which is the experience for many irustraans.
I was like, there's nothing, and I'm going from school,
so I'm not even going from like a corporate job
where I had some thing because I'm going from school
and you know, when you started as a psychologist before
you're licensed, like you're you're getting paid very little right
as a as a postdoc. I think they paid me

(50:32):
thirty thousand dollars a year in California. Yeah, yeah, I'm
not joking. It's like it's very very little.

Speaker 1 (50:39):
Thirty thirty fourth How do they expect you to survive?
That doesn't even cover rent?

Speaker 2 (50:45):
Yeah? Yeah, I got had to get very creative. I
got very lucky. But it was a lot of resourcefulness.
It was a lot. I'm grateful that I don't have
to experience it that way. Right. But then after you know,
I made the leap, I was like, you know, I
want to focus on first gen professionals because if what
I'm seeing in first gen college students, it's like, then,

(51:06):
if you're now and you have some resources, what is
it like for the professionals who have don't real resource
There's nothing, There's nothing really out there. There's you can
find a handful of videos, you can find some programs
or initiatives that were started and then funding fell through
and then something happened, and so I was like, this
is what I want to work with now. People around

(51:28):
me said, you know, that's a bad idea. That's not
a good population to focus on. You're not going to
make any money working with first gens. And you know,
you know those voices those way again, you know like, well,
this is what I want to do, though, And if
I'm betting on myself, then I want to I want
to bet on my community in the same way that

(51:50):
to follow the dream from what it was, I want
to help my comania. And then I realized, my it's
first gens, right, the first gens, the first listener families
to trailblaze, to experience, you know, whether it's college or
a professional career entrepreneurship. Because as the first we live

(52:10):
in so many in betweens, and those in betweens cause
us so much distress, anxiety, depression, the different emotions that
you know you've shared, I've shared. But in my work
I realized that in between these are these are bridges
that we are building, right, They're not They're not gaps.

(52:32):
They are these beautiful bridges that are helping us create,
like I said, new identities, new communities, and create larger
systemic changes. But as long as we view those gaps
as challenges and barriers. We don't recognize the bridges that
we are and the change make the larger changes that

(52:54):
we can create because of our bicultural or multicultural identity,
not despite Yeah.

Speaker 1 (53:00):
No, I think it's really powerful. And I think I've
also heard you say precisely the like on that same
note of the bridges. How when you talk about translating,
it was instead of being like, oh I had to
translate for my parents, it was a gift that you
were given. Tell us more about it. When I heard

(53:22):
and say that, I'm like, oh, it's such a beautiful
way to put it.

Speaker 2 (53:25):
Yeah, because I get to do that, right, I get
to be the first person in all of my ancestors
waited so long for the opportunities that I finally had
access to. And yes, in that moment, as a kid,
it was a challenge, was frustrating. I was like why
do I have to do this? But as an adult,

(53:46):
when I look back, I do think of it as
a gift because I got to be that bridge, Like
I get to help connect, right, and my dream has
been to be a helper, to be a healer, and
I got to do that and I got to play
that role for my family before my ancestors. Right, it's
not just it's not just navigating something new by myself,

(54:09):
which is I get it. It feels very isolating, but
it took a lot of decisions that a lot of
people before me made to get to this point, and
it was not easy for them. The paths are never easy.
But yeah, I look back at a lot of my
first gen experience as a gift now because I've learned

(54:32):
how powerful our perspectives on our circumstances are and how
that shapes our intern no beliefs about ourselves. And when
you look back at an experience, and I don't mean
to say this to dismiss or minimize any trauma that
someone has, so I want to make sure we make
that distinction. But when we can look back at an

(54:55):
experience that was challenging, okay hard from traumatic. If you
look at back at something that's hard and we think
about it, what is what are the beliefs that were
shaped around that difficult experience for you? And when the
beliefs are I had to do this. I didn't get
a choice to do this, Like everything was taken for me, right,

(55:17):
Like then you go and you enter the rest of
the world in that protective mindset. Right, everyone is out
to get me constantly, right, And I look back and
I thought, you know, I got to do this for
my family. My family turned to me because there were

(55:38):
no other resources. Okay, there were no other resources, and
they weren't forcing me to do this. This was a
survive something we needed to survive, right, And I got
and I, as a child, had the resources and skills
to help our family survive. Right. And again it was challenging,

(55:59):
it was hard, but it was a.

Speaker 1 (56:01):
I love that And I think what you just shared
will help hopefully ground a lot of people in that
truth that many times I see the pain of people
dragging that of like, oh this was a hard night.
I have a childhood and I had to grow up
really fast and all the things. But that reframe of well,

(56:22):
and it was a gift because I could. And what
an honor?

Speaker 2 (56:26):
What an honor? And let me tell you, Pam, my
spouse makes for meal time because like I'll do the
inner child healing is real. I'm like, who says that
because I didn't get to do these things then that
I don't get to do this now? Yes, like, oh
I didn't get to the Okay, so what's stopping me

(56:48):
from doing it now?

Speaker 1 (56:49):
You know?

Speaker 2 (56:50):
And so if I'm at a park and I see
an empty swing and I want to sit on that
swing because I want to have a moment where i
want to feel myself in the air, I'm going to
sit on this. Wait, like I and so again with
those thoughts around it. I didn't get to do this
or no one taught me this? No one? Okay, I

(57:10):
get that, and that was hard. But what is stopping
you now from accessing these things? Right?

Speaker 1 (57:17):
Totally?

Speaker 2 (57:19):
So you know I watch cartoons, all right, I watched my.

Speaker 1 (57:22):
I love watching cartoons too.

Speaker 2 (57:24):
Yeah they are you like if you walk in on
me watching Milana like by myself, I am happy, Okay,
I am happy.

Speaker 1 (57:35):
Indeed I'm there with you.

Speaker 2 (57:37):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (57:38):
I love in Ernia work and like calling that in
Ernia back to see what she needs in my cases?
Is she her so powerful? I have so many more questions.
Tell us more about first, gentle mareras all the things?

Speaker 2 (57:55):
Yes, yes, so like I talk about, we view a
lot of these experiences as challenges. And like many Fristians,
I know you had yourself part experiences and many other
folks I've listened to some of your past episodes they
share when I see something that I want and it's
not there, then I'm just gonna create it. I'm just
gonna do something about this because I'm sorried of waiting

(58:17):
for someone else to do right. Yeah exactly. I was like,
you know, I was like, I'm not alone in this.
So in this this actually last December, I was sitting
there because I'm like, I want to do something, well,
can I do what works? And I sat there. I
sat there. I'm like, because we need to stop seeing
these I'm having these conversations in my individual therapy sessions.

(58:38):
I'm having these conversations every time I do a speaking engagement.
I am writing about these things. How can I enhance
this impact to reach more people? Like what do I
do about it? And initially my thought was like what
do I call this? Because I have to start with
a name to feel inspired reach out to my community
because I think, like I was, I don't know what

(58:59):
I thinking of calling it. But it was not first
gen Zimbras because I was like, oh, I don't know
the bilingual, like how do I do this? And then
but took my community They're like, no, this is we
like this first gen sim barras, which is a fun
play on for those who grew up with hearing ingliss simbarreras.
And you know, because as first gens, you know, we

(59:23):
see so many these things as barriers. It's just because
we don't have the tools to navigate them, and we
just whether it's thinking about it differently, understanding what exactly
it is. And so I created it's a short guide
with reflection questions. But I but it's in Spanglish, right,
the reflection question will be there, but it's a reflection

(59:45):
I thought of like Lotteria cards and now they'll be like,
you know, la lama, and I was like, well, la confianza,
let's that, you know. So there's these journal imprompts and
so the way that I my vision for it, because
this is my baby right now, it's like in the
infancy stages as it's developing, is uh. It's a guide

(01:00:07):
resource for first chance to access for free. Just go
to my website and you sign up and sign up
for my newsletter. You get this free guide and I'm
releasing four this year and each yeah, each guide will
be focused on common challenges that first gen experience. Common
barras because we are reclaiming these We're going to be

(01:00:27):
first gens seeing barras right. But to do that you
have to do the work. You gotta faces. And so
I started with the one that I talk about the
most often, which is the imposter phenomenon.

Speaker 1 (01:00:41):
That's a whole episode.

Speaker 2 (01:00:43):
It is, That's the whole episode. So I'm not going
to get into that, but the first one's imposter phenomenon,
and this May I'm releasing the second one, which is
going to be on first Gen guilt.

Speaker 1 (01:00:54):
Fun.

Speaker 2 (01:00:55):
Yeah. So my goal is just for people people to
access this, to reflect on it, and to share, to
share it with others, whether it's privately or publicly. And
at some point I would love, like midream, I think
I visualize this like being able to tour in different spaces,
to have these conversations with folks like large stage, small groups,

(01:01:17):
whatever it might be, where we are challenging our perception
of these barriers, and you know, like and so that
we stop and you know, whether I'm facilitating or someone else's,
I just want people to have these conversations and I
get out of that mindset that was formed and we
were very young, right that, Oh I didn't get this

(01:01:41):
that's okay, let's get it now.

Speaker 1 (01:01:44):
Yeah, because you can you get to can you get
to know? Tell us all the places and spaces where
we can find you.

Speaker 2 (01:01:51):
Okay, you can find me on my website. It's Kalathia
Wellness dot com. Kalithia and I very quickly is a
plant species that represents new beginnings. It symbolizes you know, like, yeah,
so for me, it symbolizes first gens because we're a
new beginning for our families. Right, So, Kathia Wellness. You

(01:02:13):
can find me on Instagram, like showing up on Instagram,
and I'm the first gen psychologist on Instagram. You find
me on LinkedIn. I love being on threads. I do
enjoy your threads.

Speaker 1 (01:02:24):
Pa second here, my threads are like a whole brand of.

Speaker 2 (01:02:31):
Yeah. I go through my waves of like I'm here
or I'm not here, and so yeah, you can find
me mostly on those spaces, and then on all of those,
I have a link where you can access of some
of my other like my writing or some of the
other interviews that I've done, and yeah, so that those
would be find me there first.

Speaker 1 (01:02:50):
Amazing, Well that Charlie said, thank you so much for
your work for all that you do for us, and definitely,
listeners go download the guide because once you get the
first one, then you get the rest, right, yes, yes, okay,
Well I think it's a great resource and I love
that mental health is a it's a conversation that we
are having now. When I started a compilement in twenty sixteen,

(01:03:13):
I was shamed a lot for talking about mental health
because I was literally told by people like, what do
you mean mental health? We don't deal with that, We
just don't. We don't go to therapy. And so I
love talking to mental health professionals that are doing the
work and talking about other things because our community then

(01:03:35):
this is we do.

Speaker 2 (01:03:37):
And sometimes you know, we feel like broken records saying this,
but y'all like our emotions are not bad, but they
are uncomfortable and we have to learn we have to
learn how to stit with that discomfort and move through it, you.

Speaker 1 (01:03:50):
Know, especially when we've been taught not to feel them.

Speaker 2 (01:03:54):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, so feel the emotions. It's that they're okay, You're.

Speaker 1 (01:03:59):
Okay, totally okay. Last three questions, Okay, what's thee you
want to share with this?

Speaker 2 (01:04:06):
Yeah, I'm a big fan. So when I think that's
when you were sharing your tea what you put in it.
But Amnika husband something that I will use, like whether
in tea form or in a palmade form. Right Like,
if I'm having any physical discomforts, i will put on
Anika palmade on. If I'm feeling just like extra bloated

(01:04:26):
or just on pain, I will drink an Anka tea.
And so that's what I would recommend. And they sell,
they sell Athnica teas if you have, if you have
the plant, just pour.

Speaker 1 (01:04:38):
Some hot water and drink it. It's not add some honey, yes.

Speaker 2 (01:04:42):
Yes, add some honey, Add some honey. Yes.

Speaker 1 (01:04:46):
What's your quote, Armandra that you live by?

Speaker 2 (01:04:49):
Okay, So my favorite quote is it's not what I
say out loud that determines my life. It's what I
whispered to myself that has the most power.

Speaker 1 (01:05:00):
It's so good.

Speaker 2 (01:05:02):
I know, I love it so much. And you know
people will sometimes ask them, But if I'm whispering anxious
thoughts to myself, I'm like, well, that's the point I recognize,
Like what are you saying to yourself? How are you
talking to yourself? And check out the first tending better
as prompts. If you need somewhere to start A.

Speaker 1 (01:05:19):
Yeah, And the last question is what's your productivity tip?
Record took yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:05:25):
D and D when we talk about my best productivity
method is just putting my phone and do not disturb
because I am so easily distractable and I'm you know,
I currently working through therapy and that to figure out
whether I am I have ADHD or where I am

(01:05:47):
in terms of neurodiversity. But I'm so easily desterracted. And
I've learned that if I have my phone on to
not disturb at the bare minimum, I won't have the
external like or that extra distract from that, right, So
setting that up and then so step one, do not
disturb at any point, even if I'm cooking dinner, right,

(01:06:08):
but just another start. I just want to cook my
dinner in peace, right now? What do you need to recharge?
And then the breaking up my day into four quarters
technically is a productivity hack. I use it for stress management,
but a productivity hack for in the way that you're
thinking about your day, like in the morning, like what
am I doing in the first you know, four hours
of my day, my next four hours, my next four hours,

(01:06:29):
my next four hours, and blocking that off can be
really helpful. I think about it for my daily stress management.
If I have a particularly stressful morning. Sometimes for a
lot of people, that can feel like it bleeds into
the rest of the day. The rest of your day
feels hard. Well, it's thinking, well, my first quarter was tough,
but I can recover in second quarter. And I'm not

(01:06:54):
even like I don't watch a lot of sports, but
I do love watch I do love watching the big games.
And you know, we can come back at any quarter.
I mean to make a come back at any quarter.
And so I read myself with a que one it's okay.
Or if I had, like, you know, like a really
long day, maybe Q four mi, let me, I just
gonna relax these last this last four hours, y day,

(01:07:16):
this this day just needs I need a bit more
breast right, So kind of navigating it like that.

Speaker 1 (01:07:22):
I love that. It makes me think of my one
of my mindfulness teachers who would be like similar to
your quote actually, because she would be like, you know,
I when people say I woke up with the with
the wrong foot or whatever the saying is, She's like,

(01:07:43):
you have to remind yourself that every minute is a
new opportunity and so I love how like you kind
of like bucketize the day and say, okay, whatever happened
in the first four hours, we have a new opportunity
in the next four hours. How are you going to
make the best of it?

Speaker 2 (01:08:00):
Yeah? Yeah, yeah exactly. So it's it's whatever, whatever, however
you need to break it up or bucketize it, right
if it needs to be by minute, because it's that
kind of day. We do it by minute, by hour,
we do it by hour. And you know, some people
have you know, it's like where's your capacity? Right, well
can you offer? But I find quarterly in a day,

(01:08:20):
especially on the hard days, it's very helpful because I'm like,
all right, let's reset around you two halftime? What else?

Speaker 1 (01:08:29):
Gown? Love that well, No, thank you so much for
coming to k but I'm sharing a little bit of
your story. Maybe we can bring you back and keep
talking about the embostor phenomenon and all the things like
anytime you release a new fort Gensi Marera's workbook, come
back and promote it.

Speaker 2 (01:08:49):
Okay, yeah, more of that, Yeah for sure?

Speaker 1 (01:08:53):
How fun?

Speaker 2 (01:08:53):
Yeah awesome.

Speaker 1 (01:08:54):
I love that much for all your work and all
you do.

Speaker 2 (01:08:58):
Thank you, fam, Thank you for cultivating such a beautiful
community through your podcast to your everything. Oh thank you,
thank you, thank.

Speaker 1 (01:09:11):
One on. If you enjoy the conversation, I would love
to hear about it. If this podcast has ever inspired you,
you can also support us in so many ways. Of
course the easy and free ones, subscribe, rate and review.
If you are watching us on YouTube, you can of
course subscribe, hit the bell, leave a comment, Share with
someone you love. Who is this conversation going to be

(01:09:33):
useful for? I'm sure you can think of at least
three people. I would love it if you share it
with others because it helps a ton when you actually
help us share. It allows stories like this one to
be spread out to many more people, so that our
stories are heard from our perspective. Other ways, stay connected

(01:09:56):
social media at kafkam podcast on all the places and spaces.
If you are, you know, wanting to be even more helpful,
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You can check out cavacopalm dot com and see how
we can continue to work together or work together you
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