In this heartfelt and candid episode, Whitney sits down with Paula, founder of The Balanced Mom, to discuss the joys and challenges of parenting, the importance of self-care, and how moms can reclaim time and energy for themselves. They open up about their personal experiences—from the chaos of potty training to the deep need for a supportive, troll-free motherhood community.
Key Topics Covered:
- Balancing Motherhood + Me-Time
- Introducing The Balanced Mom Project
- Real Talk on Medical Emergencies & Mom Guilt
- Building a Safe Mom Community
- Motherhood, Friendships & Identity
Links + Resources Mentioned:
- 🧘♀️ Grab Paula’s 3-Day Reset Guide: https://thebalancedmom.ca/3-day-reset-guide
- 📸 Follow Paula on Instagram: @theBalancedmom
- 🌐 Visit her website: HTTP://thebalancedmom.ca
Cheers! Thank you for joining us for another episode. Have a chaotic moment, question, or topic you want us to cover? Drop us a message or leave a review! If you loved this episode, share it with a friend who thrives in beautiful chaos too.
Let’s Connect:
- Connect with us via email at ccpodcast@aguonstudios.com
- Follow us on Instagram: @caffeinatedchaospodcast or @aguonstudios
- Join our email list: Click Here to Become a VIP
- Sip and Share: Click here to submit
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The views and opinions expressed by guests on Caffeinated Chaos are their own and do not necessarily reflect the views, beliefs, or positions of Whitney Aguon or Aguon Studios LLC. The content shared by guests is for informational and entertainment purposes only. We encourage listeners to do their own research and form their own...
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Welcome to Caffeinated Chaos,where business deals happen
between diaper changes andfriendships are fueled by
caffeine.
I'm Whitney GaN, your host, andI'm here to talk all things
business parenthood, and ofcourse keeping up with the BFFs,
whether you're juggling theboardroom, the playroom, or just
here for some coffee fuel chaos.
We've got you covered.
Get ready for real talk, laughsand a whole lot of heart as we
(00:24):
dive into the beautiful messthat is entrepreneurship,
parenthood, and everything inbetween.
So let's embrace the chaostogether.
Ated, of course.
Joining us today is Paula Wells.
She is the mama behind theBalanced Mom, a supportive
community and digital resourcehub, designed to help moms
(00:45):
prioritize self-care, mentalhealth, and personal wellbeing.
All things I love.
Through community engagingworkshops in a safe space to
share experiences, they empowermothers to reconnect with
themselves and createsustainable routines amidst
their busy lives.
From weekly journal prompts toexpert LED calls, the balance
(01:06):
mom offers practical tools andheartfelt encouragement for
thriving in motherhood, whilestaying true to your unique
identity.
There balance isn't a myth.
It's achievable one step at atime.
So let's welcome her to thepodcast.
Paulo, welcome to the episode.
Thank you.
Thank you.
(01:26):
I'm excited to be here and trustme, I've got my coffee in hand.
Me too.
And I know that I told you aboutthis beforehand, but I actually
have.
Had at least half of it already.
Yes.
So listeners, you know that thisis like a big milestone.
Whitney got to half the cup, sobefore it's cold, half a cup
(01:47):
before it's cold.
Oh man.
Okay.
So we have a little bit incommon.
We both have a toddler andbasically a newborn in our
house.
I have two girls and they.
Luckily, they're still asleep.
Ah, yes.
I love that.
They stayed up late last nightand so they're sleeping in.
(02:09):
But I mean, I'm not gonna saythat was intentional on my part,
but it probably was intentionalbecause I needed them to sleep a
little longer.
We aligned, so that's so, yeah.
So why don't you tell ourlisteners a little bit about
you.
Yeah.
So I became a mom during aglobal pandemic, which looks
(02:30):
crazy to me that started fiveyears ago, this month.
I know.
And, just kind of coming Yeah.
Full circle of.
Going through that type ofalready uncertainty, isolation
and stuff like that.
And then kind of coming out theother side realizing that we
need more support.
Yeah, women, we truly do nothave, what we are needing or.
(02:55):
Worthy of, mm-hmm.
The United States especially.
I am actually in Canada, so I amblessed with maternity leave,
that I think a lot of mothersdon't even get that.
So it's, how do we create spacefor moms and help them get the
time to themselves that they sodeserve?
Mm-hmm.
Awesome.
Okay.
I love this.
Okay, so what should we startwith?
(03:16):
Should we start with a chaoticmoment or should we get into
business first?
What do wanna do?
Every moment is a chaoticmoment, so, okay.
That's true.
That's true.
Oh, yes.
But like, yeah, we have, I, weboth have like, what, three year
olds and so he'll be four in Mayand the other one is just
turning eight months old.
Yeah.
Oh, wow.
(03:36):
Yeah.
So your kids are slightly olderthan mine.
Mine turns four in, August, andthen my little one.
Is turning eight months in liketwo weeks.
So yeah.
So like slightly ahead.
Anyone who's ever had a tallerknows that every moment is
chaos.
Yeah.
Yep.
(03:57):
And just, I think they, to addto that, it's just the
overstimulation that happens.
Mm-hmm.
Because it's like, I rememberbeing overstimulated when baby
was crying and now it's liketoddlers whining, baby's crying,
and husband's asking what's fordinner?
Like, do you wanna pull yourhair out?
I'm like, oh my God.
One at a time.
I am so happy that my husband isthe cook in the family, and he's
(04:22):
gotten our toddler to likeassist.
So her first job ever was, I'mgonna crack the black pepper.
And, and she couldn't even turnit.
So it was like just a sprinkle.
But then now she like cooks herlike little eggy scrambled eggs
and.
She'll make little dinosaursandwiches.
Oh, I love, because she'sobsessed with dinosaurs still.
(04:42):
Yeah.
I mean, what toddler isn'tthough, right.
So, yeah.
We're like right there.
We're like right in the, in themiddle of the struggle together.
We know we know what's going on.
I want our listeners to knowabout the balanced mom.
So give us a little, like giveus a little bit.
'cause we're gonna get into it.
Absolutely.
(05:02):
So the balanced mom is not aboutperfection.
That's obviously off the table.
Motherhood is never gonna be100%.
It is trial and error.
It is wanting control andknowing that it's gonna go
sideways.
It's.
All the things that, yeah, wewish we could do, but might not
have had the time to.
So the balanced mom is creatingsmall, sustainable self-care
(05:25):
rituals that you can do everysingle day.
And no, I'm not talking aboutskincare and I'm not talking
about having the latest footmassager, I am talking about
actual self-care.
I will take five minutes to sitwith my coffee, feel the warmth
of the mug, smell the aroma ofit, and just have that moment to
myself, we mm-hmm.
(05:46):
As mothers.
Unfortunately, I wish we got theopportunity to say that we get
more than an hour a day toourselves, but realistically
probably not gonna happen for afew years, so, right.
We, we make due with what wehave, so the balance mom, we're
working towards buildingcommunity.
I do have a, it is a paidcommunity to be in, but it's a
safe place to vent and talkabout your struggles as well as,
(06:10):
there's some journal prompts inthere and affirmations for your
cell phone wallpaper to kind ofkeep you motivated and going on
those really rough days.
I feel that moms.
I feel like self-care is aluxury and it's not a necessity
at this point.
So it's how do we reframe this?
That you are worthy of this, youdeserve this, and we should go
(06:31):
ahead and support each other.
110%.
Yes, definitely.
Oh my God, I feel like so manymoms are out there and just
being like, give, give, give,give, give.
Poor, poor, poor.
And I'm just like, okay, so whathave you done for me lately?
Like, you know, that's whatliterally your body is asking
you is just like, all right, Isee your son, I see your
(06:53):
daughter, your husband, yourpartner, but like your body's
screaming.
Like, do something for yourself.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
I love that you're building thiscommunity.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Yeah.
It's been an absolute passionproject.
It's funny, I come from acorporate world of finance, so
we're definitely segueing here,but in a ultimately male
(07:15):
dominated field, mm-hmm.
It's, it's.
Extra tricky'cause you want tomake sure that your voice is
heard as well.
And, I feel like this is gonnabe the place to do it.
After my first, I did return towork I was in that kind of
setting, and I'm really quicklyrealized how challenging that
was going to be.
Given that nobody.
(07:38):
Understood slash cared aboutwhat it actually meant to be a
full-time working mom.
Mm-hmm.
All the stuff that comes afterthat.
Then there's all the extras,right?
Yeah.
So you're any female in anycorporate world.
You're also doing the partyplanning, which I find really
weird, but yeah.
So I have to do Christmas forthe office and Christmas for my
(07:59):
kids.
And it is just so incrediblymuch, like, I don't think
they're realizing what they'reasking of, women and flexibility
is just like off the table.
Like it's just, yeah, this is,yeah, this is the framework that
you have to work within.
So it was after my second that Ikind of said, okay, like now
there's two.
So double the sick days anddouble the activities.
(08:22):
So it's how can we add moreflexibility?
And then that did come to theconclusion that it's gonna have
to be a small business.
Yeah.
And just realizing that yeah,moms are really, truly.
Undervalued and it's reallyheartbreaking because we are the
backbone of so many things, andI love that.
Yeah.
I'm just a mom.
(08:43):
No, no, no, no, no.
Hold up.
You're a project manager of likean entire household.
You're ensuring that yourhusband is able to go to work,
right.
Every day.
Yeah.
I always tell my husband, andit's not the best thing to think
about, but like, if I got hit bya truck, do you know how many
people it would take to replaceme?
Yeah.
Gosh.
Right.
Oh gosh.
(09:03):
Just kind of adding that inthere, like, it's awful to go
there and think about that.
And I wanna cry, think about mykids without a mom.
It's real, right?
Yeah.
Like, that's what we have to,consider as well.
So we are.
Definitely very, very important.
And we are worthy of time andspace for ourselves.
Six days after I gave birth tomy second, kid, my daughter,
(09:23):
Jasmine, my body went intoshock, right?
Mm-hmm.
I had left the hospital.
We were fine luckily, I amtrained in first aid and dealing
with all that stuff.
So I knew, I could tell likesomething was wrong and I was
like starting to like take careof myself and I was like telling
my husband, I was like, okay,I'm pretty sure my body's going
into shock.
Like I had this like reallystrong pain on one side and then
(09:45):
I started shaking and gettingreally cold.
And so I was like walking himthrough this.
And luckily we have a friendwho's a medical assistant, so he
like, called her instantly Ihave a six day old and then the
toddler and I'm wonder fivelayers of blankets, like telling
him like, okay, I need you to goget the heating pad.
Okay, put it on and they'lllike, roll me over, put it, you
(10:06):
know.
And so he's just like, yes, yes,yes, but.
My friend came and sat with mein the er.
We had, we also brought mydaughter to the ER just in case
something was wrong with both ofus.
And then eventually they clearedher.
She got to go home.
Our other two friends were heretaking care of the toddler, so
then they took care of bothkids.
(10:27):
But my friend, when my husbandwas driving our daughter home,
to drop off and then come back,she was just like.
He's crying in the parking lot.
Like he is so scared.
And I was like, oh my gosh.
And she goes, I'm gonna go calmhim down.
And like,'cause they would onlylet one person sit with you in
the er.
Yeah.
And so he's like, okay, well Ihave the car seat in my car, so
(10:50):
I'll drive her home and thencome back and she was just like,
he's like gonna break down.
She's like, I'm gonna go homeand watch your kids and I'll
keep an eye on your baby.
If something's wrong, we'lldrive her back.
My husband came and he sat withme.
He, and I was like, are youdoing okay?
And you could tell, he was like,I'm doing fine.
Like I'm doing fine.
And I'm like, mm, mm-hmm.
My bestie just told me like,what happened in the parking lot
(11:11):
and I'm like, don't worry.
Like it's gonna be fine.
And I'm there trying to suck itin and be like.
Oh yeah, my side hurts, but likeit's gonna be fine honey.
And they're just like, we don'tknow what's going on with you.
Like literally got no answersfor one day.
They're just like, here's areally strong painkillers.
You can't breastfeed for thenext 24 hours.
'Cause they're like, if youbreastfeed, you can't take this.
(11:33):
And I go.
The baby will be fine for 24hours.
I am in insane pain, and thengoing home and my husband was
just like, you could just tellevery like ounce of life was
just drained from him, frombeing so stressed.
We were there for six hours andhe was just like, yeah, he's
like.
Don't fucking scare me again.
Like that.
Like, don't ever do that again.
And I was like, like I plannedit.
(11:55):
My body was like, you just needa break from the kids.
Let's be sick for six hours.
That's chaos.
So now you can see why Iliterally named my podcast Caffe
Chaos.
It's just been one thing afteranother.
We are so deep in potty trainingright now, so like I'm living
chaos every day.
You just never know whatsurprises around the corner.
(12:17):
Did we make it?
Did we not?
Oh, I am so happy we gotlaminate floor, like our
laminate flooring throughout andI'm just like.
Woo.
Easy cleanup, but still get tothe bathroom.
So I wanna talk a little bitmore about the balance.
Mom.
I know we went off topic for alittle bit, but, so you had this
(12:42):
like vision now that you had twokids and all that.
So what made you think likecommunity instead of like.
A digital product or justFacebook groups?
Mm-hmm.
That kind of thing.
So what made you like, Ooh, I'mgonna take this and I'm gonna
blow it up on a big scale.
There's lots of factors inthere.
(13:02):
It's not say that I'm trying tocurate a specific set of people
right.
But the internet has trolls.
Like they just, they do right?
You 100%.
So it's like if you go to aplace that's paid, I mean, if
you wanna troll me and pay me todo it, have at her, I'll kick
you out and take your money,that's fine.
But it's also, um, a case ofjust having somewhere safe to be
right.
Like, I mean, unfortunately, andI don't think it's the masses.
(13:25):
I fall right in the middle.
Like fed is best, right?
Mm-hmm.
Like if you breastfeed, if youformula feed.
I don't care.
You do what works for you.
Is your baby healthy?
Right?
Like at the end of the day,that's it.
It's all matters.
Yeah.
You vaccinate do not vaccinate.
Like if, if someone doesn'tvaccinate their kids, you have
your reasons.
Mm-hmm.
If you do vaccinate your kids donot belittle people for that.
(13:46):
Right.
True.
Like it's, it's just making surethat again, you do your choices,
but we don't have to be akeyboard warrior about it.
Yeah.
It's all I'm gonna say is it'sjust I wanna create a place that
is, yeah, it's safe.
You can exist, you can postthings, but it's not gonna start
like this big'cause it's scarysometimes.
I've been in some mom groups andyou just, yeah.
You see someone that's spoutingmisinformation is a big one too.
(14:08):
Yeah.
I'm just like, you can have youropinion, but this is not where
you get to put it.
Right.
Because there are people who aresusceptible.
Or who don't know, or thataren't gonna follow up on it,
and they're gonna take that andthey're gonna believe it.
So it is kind of, how do we havea safer space for moms?
Really?
I 100% agree with you too isbecause, I mean, I'm sure many
(14:30):
of our listeners here are.
Like users and members ofdifferent kind of like, you
know, those Facebook groups orfree groups or, you know, that
kind of thing.
But when it's like, when thereis a barrier to entry, so like
the paid subscription.
Then it's a lot more likeinstead of just like, I'm just
gonna go on Facebook and I'mgonna be like, what is this?
(14:52):
And then a million people withdifferent stuff.
And then you have to sit thereand fact check everything too,
like you were saying.
Right.
Of like, is this a legit thing?
Like Yeah.
I've seen people suggestingeven.
Just, yeah, very unsafe thingslike, oh, I give your baby
vitamin A.
I'm like, okay, well that canreally harm their liver if
you're not careful.
I love the idea and for me too,I am part of a couple paid
(15:13):
groups where I'm just like, whenI go there, one, I know that.
If I'm, like, if I have aquestion, I can write that
question and be able to get somegood information and be seen,
instead of just going on andthen, like you said, there are
trolls and people literally willjust say the meanest things
(15:33):
sometimes on free forums, dumpit and walk away.
Right.
And you know, as moms,especially if you are a new mom,
first kid, right.
That's very harmful to yourmentality too.
I'm one of the first in my groupto have children, then there's
like the mom that has twins orthe mom who is brand new, and
(15:53):
I'm like, they're like, you havetwo kids, how do you do it?
I just have one and I'm justlike, it's a learn habit.
Like everything is.
On the go training.
Everything is really on the jobtraining when you are a mom.
A hundred percent.
And the other part of that toowas to have a place of support
and hype each other up becausethat's what you say.
That's the nice part about goinginto these groups is there is
(16:15):
this, overarching theme of thegroup, right?
Mm-hmm.
And it's.
We're all moms, we're all goingthrough it, right?
We all have varying experiences.
I don't know about you, but myfirst actually ended up in an
emergency C-section, so that wasOoh, like a whole other layer I
almost got there.
And then the second one, Ihemorrhage pretty roughly.
(16:35):
So it's just one of these thingsthat, yeah, we're all gonna have
our different experiences,especially with each child.
And it's how can we convey andtalk about those things in a
safer, more contained space, Iguess I'll say.
'cause yeah, it's, I, the ideahere is we're gonna create a
place we, where people can cometo.
I do have my first, speaker'cause there's monthly speakers
that are gonna come in fun.
(16:56):
She's a mother as well and she'san author.
So she's actually written a bookabout her journey of resiliency
and going through divorce.
So we'll have her come on in andtalk about that.
And the other plan will be,we'll have a chiropractor,
pelvic floor specialist, likejust things that can help moms
like even further down the line,like I think.
Pelvic floor even into menopauseis a whole other thing.
(17:17):
So yeah.
We have these lovely joys.
But yeah, just creatingsomeplace that's curated, but
also a professional kindastandpoint, but also down to
earth.
We've all been there.
There's no easy feat.
Listeners who are moms, ifyou're out there, you do not
have to struggle by yourself.
(17:38):
I know that sometimes, likepeople are like, oh, being a
mom, I'm always busy, but I feellonely, you know?
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
And I feel like.
That is a very, very much sharedkind of feeling at some
experience point during yourmotherhood.
Then I have fr a friend whosekid is in school, and so she's
like, well, I'm friends with theother moms.
And I'm like, do you only seethem in the pickup line?
(18:00):
I love that we're having thisconversation now because
literally at the time of thisrecording.
Tomorrow I get to meet myfriend.
Has a pair of twins and we'relike, she's like, I gotta run
this errand, but I'm gonna havean extra hour.
And I was like.
Cool.
I will get off work early'causeI'm done with all like,'cause I
finished all my stuff early andI was like, I'm gonna get off at
work early.
Where are we meeting?
(18:21):
And we're like, let's go to thisgastro pub, let's go try it out.
You know, so.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So we're like gonna sneak in anhour and I say sneak in, like I
don't, we don't even have tosneak it in, but that's what it
feels like is that we're likesneaking in an hour of us time
in the middle of errands,getting off work early.
Yes, yes.
Just to have mom friend time.
(18:42):
So that's such a weird mentalityto have too, is that we have to
literally like quote unquotesneak in time.
No, that's true.
And I think that's a big piecetoo, that a lot of moms
unfortunately miss, is you areallowed to have, time for
yourself as well.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, a hundred percent.
And with your friends as well.
I saw a post this morning and Ikind of started to get angry,
and it's like, let's normalizenot needing time away from our
kids.
And I'm like.
(19:03):
Why, why?
Like, I love my kids.
That's never gonna be aquestion.
And I don't feel that women needto articulate that I love my
kids.
But yeah, let's just abolishthat.
Like we know we, yeah.
I know you love your kids and Iknow that you still want to run
this podcast and you still havedreams for yourself and you
still have ambitions andAbsolutely you should, like,
(19:24):
you're still a person.
You haven't just completelymorphed into this quiet mom was
just gonna do everything in thecorner.
Like, no, no, no, no, no.
That's what our moms did.
And look at them now.
I'm sorry, but look at them now.
They are deeply, deeply kind oflost in, in, in where to go
next.
Like I, yeah, it was really kindof hard to see and mm-hmm.
(19:46):
I'm estranged from my mom, butshe used to say to me all the
time, is, I sacrificedeverything for you.
Mm-hmm.
And at the end of the day, itwas always hard.
'cause I'm like, I never askedyou to.
Right.
You know, it's like I understandthat there were things that I
had to do and I wasn't crazyinto sports.
So it's not like there was aninsane amount to do, but it's
like, yeah, I never asked thatof you and that was something
(20:08):
that you.
Probably felt pushed into itwasn't probably something that
they wanted, but that's theother part of it too, is it'll
cost you a lot.
So yeah, you're allowed to haveyour own life, own dreams.
We have a housemate whobasically is kind of like a
live-in babysitter.
He's uncle Junior, right?
He's, he's like a brother.
(20:29):
But not blood related.
Right.
He's one of those like reallygood friends.
Yeah.
And the girls absolutely lovehim.
Right.
They call him Uncle Junior.
Well, the taller who can talkcalls him Uncle Junior, the baby
just looks at him.
Exactly.
And just gives him that likethat like, how dare you not pick
me up.
Look like, come over here andplay with me.
Look.
So I know how lucky we are whereI'm like, Hey, there's literally
(20:51):
like three of us in this likeparenthood rotation between me,
my husband and junior, and thegirls.
Absolutely.
Sometimes I'll walk home and mytoddler, I walk in the door and
my toddler goes, why are youhere?
Like, I live here.
Like, what do you mean I livehere?
Oh, well, me and uncle are gonnago play scooter.
(21:12):
And I'm like, okay, you can, youguys can still go play scooter.
I'm not in the way here.
So yeah, so it comes to thatlike whole thing where it's like
sometimes like.
Yes, you can be there for yourkids, but also sometimes your
kids just don't want you aroundlike Oh, a hundred percent.
Yeah.
Even at three years old, she'slike, why are you here?
Like, okay.
(21:34):
But then there's that momentwhere you're like.
Okay, I'm gonna go to thebathroom.
Wait for me.
And I'm like, no, go playscooter.
I told you earlier that we'repotty training, so like she'll
follow me to the bathroom andI'm like, first I go.
Do you need to use the bathroom?
I said, no.
And then she'll be like, mom,you have to wipe Okay.
Front to back mummy, mummy frontto.
(21:54):
And I was like, I know I'mteaching you.
Like that's hardest schema.
But yeah, I love that they justassume that you've never, I'm
like, never, ever.
I don't think you've realizedhow much longer mommy's been on
this earth, but.
And so I'm just like, Ooh, oneday when you have a child and
you're like, potty training, I'mgonna be like, reme.
(22:15):
I remember when you used tofollow me every single time and
she doesn't follow the boys.
And I was like.
Man, sometimes I'll even try totake a shower and she'll just be
outside and she goes, what areyou doing?
What are you doing?
Clean, clean your leg, mommy.
And she's just talking to methrough the shower curtain, she
can't even see me.
(22:35):
And I'm just like, maybe if Idon't talk back, she'll think
nobody's in here.
And she'll go back outside tothe guys.
No, she will not, I've justlearned that if I lock the door.
It's just gonna be likescratching Mommy, mommy, what
are you doing inside there?
And I'm like, I'm just using thebathroom.
Leave me alone.
(22:57):
But that like, I was just like.
All right.
If you come in here, you gottause the bathroom, you gotta use
the toilet.
And she was just like, I don'thave to.
And I was like, okay.
She goes, okay, I closed thedoor for you, mommy.
And I was like, oh, I unlockedthe cheat code.
Start asking them no.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Exactly.
Okay, so I love actionablesteps.
(23:20):
So if a listener is listening toyou right now and is just like.
I love it.
I'm a mom.
I need support like this.
What are some first actionablesteps that they can take, to
either one connect with you orif just in general, for a mom
who's.
Needs to get on that self careroutine and, listeners, if you
need permission, we are givingyou permission.
(23:42):
You have it, you have it.
Because sometimes people arejust like, I just need to know
that it's okay and it is okay totake care of yourself.
So, yeah.
So Paula, what.
What's a good actionable stepthat people can take?
Yeah.
So at the end of the day, I'mall here for small actionable
steps.
We have bigger workshops andstuff too about, setting
boundaries, which is alsoinsanely important.
(24:02):
Mm-hmm.
Around yourself.
But, so even if it's justsomething very small, you're
toddler knocks over the milk.
Take a deep breath.
At the end of the day, I know wewere all condoned for it as
children, guess what?
It cleans up pretty easy.
Yeah.
It's one of those things thatit's really hard not to, get in
the moment.
So yeah, just take that deepbreath.
(24:24):
Give yourself a moment and thengo ahead.
If you have a toddler where thisis appropriate, the five minute
timer hack, you say, mommy's gotfive minutes and she's going to
do X, Y, z.
And you have your activity overhere.
We're gonna set this timer andaway we go.
Love that one.
Usually get interrupted a littlebit, but they're working on it,
(24:44):
so we'll get toward that.
I have my, eldest, if he's inthe room with me, he's up for 45
minutes.
So I am living this life rightnow.
I do have the three day reset,which is basically, a guide
that's gonna kind of encompass afew things to really just get
you digging as to where are someof these things coming from.
One of the big ones is moms feellike they've lost their identity
(25:05):
in motherhood.
And it's not that it's lost,it's not gone, it hasn't
disappeared.
You're still there.
It's, you're navigating a hugetransition where you just really
need to take a step back andsay, what did I like prior to?
Yeah, because you still gottasee, you might still love it.
It might change a little bit foryou.
There might be some other piecesthat you want to move around.
(25:26):
So it's just a way to, reallyget, get in tune with yourself
and your new self.
Yeah.
You're still, you're justevolving.
Yeah.
And you're not lost in thechaos.
Listeners, the guide that Paulawas talking about, I'm going to
link it down below in the shownotes, but you can click on that
and then grab that guide.
(25:46):
If somebody wants to connectwith you and get more
information about the balancedmom, how can they connect with
you?
You bet.
So the easiest way is onInstagram.
There's tons of free content foryou to consume there.
It's at the balanced.mom andthen the website as well, which
is the balanced mom.ca'causeCanada.
Nice.
And again, links will be in thebio, so.
(26:09):
Awesome.
Okay, so we're about.
To wrap up, do you have anyfinishing, like last minute
thoughts for our listeners?
I would just say thank you andif you're listening and you need
the reminder, you deserve totake care of yourself too.
Percent if you take awayanything from this episode,
that's what I'm gonna tell you.
(26:30):
Yes, you are not alone.
There are, ways to connect withboth of us on Instagram.
You need to vent and you need asafe place.
You are not alone, and pleasetake care of yourselves.
Mm-hmm.
Well, Paula, thank you so muchfor coming to the podcast.
I really enjoyed our episode,and we're gonna have to have you
(26:53):
come back like, because I feellike our journey, especially
where we are with our children'sages, I'll be like, oh my God,
okay, so they're four now.
What are we doing?
What?
What's different?
Right?
I hear them often referred to asthe effing fours.
So I'm, oh, is it really tryingto segue into that?
Yeah.
It's not great so far.
(27:14):
Is it?
Is it just like a bad thingevery two years?
'cause it's like the terribletwos, the f-ing fours, which is
funny.
Like the terrible twos.
I got it, but it wasn't.
As awful as it was made out tobe.
I don't know.
Yeah.
That wasn't my experience, butit's been three, four has been
cause they know better, butthey're just mm-hmm.
They wanna see how you're gonnareact to it.
And it's always hard.
(27:35):
They're always walking on theedge of that line.
Yeah.
Where it's like, okay.
I'm gonna do it.
She said, no, but yes, yes.
Oh my God.
So we'll have to check back inabout the FN fours at some
point.
Awesome.
Well, thank you so much again,and listeners, I will see you in
the next episode.
That's a wrap on another episodeof Caffeinated Chaos.
(27:57):
I hope you're leaving with alittle more clarity, a lot more
inspiration, and maybe even anextra shot of motivation.
If you love today's episode,don't forget to follow us.
Leave a review and share it witha friend who could use just a
little chaos and caffeine intheir life.
Until next time, keep embracingthe mess.
Chase your dreams and make magichappen.
(28:20):
One caffeinated, chaotic momentat a time.
I will see you all soon.
Bye now.
Welcome to Caffeinated Chaos,where business deals happen
between diaper changes andfriendships are fueled by
caffeine.
I'm Whitney GaN, your host, andI'm here to talk all things
business parenthood, and ofcourse keeping up with the BFFs,
whether you're juggling theboardroom, the playroom, or just
here for some coffee fuel chaos.
We've got you covered.
Get ready for real talk, laughsand a whole lot of heart as we
(00:24):
dive into the beautiful messthat is entrepreneurship,
parenthood, and everything inbetween.
So let's embrace the chaostogether.
Ated, of course.
Joining us today is Paula Wells.
She is the mama behind theBalanced Mom, a supportive
community and digital resourcehub, designed to help moms
(00:45):
prioritize self-care, mentalhealth, and personal wellbeing.
All things I love.
Through community engagingworkshops in a safe space to
share experiences, they empowermothers to reconnect with
themselves and createsustainable routines amidst
their busy lives.
From weekly journal prompts toexpert LED calls, the balance
(01:06):
mom offers practical tools andheartfelt encouragement for
thriving in motherhood, whilestaying true to your unique
identity.
There balance isn't a myth.
It's achievable one step at atime.
So let's welcome her to thepodcast.
Paulo, welcome to the episode.
Thank you.
Thank you.
(01:26):
I'm excited to be here and trustme, I've got my coffee in hand.
Me too.
And I know that I told you aboutthis beforehand, but I actually
have.
Had at least half of it already.
Yes.
So listeners, you know that thisis like a big milestone.
Whitney got to half the cup, sobefore it's cold, half a cup
(01:47):
before it's cold.
Oh man.
Okay.
So we have a little bit incommon.
We both have a toddler andbasically a newborn in our
house.
I have two girls and they.
Luckily, they're still asleep.
Ah, yes.
I love that.
They stayed up late last nightand so they're sleeping in.
(02:09):
But I mean, I'm not gonna saythat was intentional on my part,
but it probably was intentionalbecause I needed them to sleep a
little longer.
We aligned, so that's so, yeah.
So why don't you tell ourlisteners a little bit about
you.
Yeah.
So I became a mom during aglobal pandemic, which looks
(02:30):
crazy to me that started fiveyears ago, this month.
I know.
And, just kind of coming Yeah.
Full circle of.
Going through that type ofalready uncertainty, isolation
and stuff like that.
And then kind of coming out theother side realizing that we
need more support.
Yeah, women, we truly do nothave, what we are needing or.
(02:55):
Worthy of, mm-hmm.
The United States especially.
I am actually in Canada, so I amblessed with maternity leave,
that I think a lot of mothersdon't even get that.
So it's, how do we create spacefor moms and help them get the
time to themselves that they sodeserve?
Mm-hmm.
Awesome.
Okay.
I love this.
Okay, so what should we startwith?
(03:16):
Should we start with a chaoticmoment or should we get into
business first?
What do wanna do?
Every moment is a chaoticmoment, so, okay.
That's true.
That's true.
Oh, yes.
But like, yeah, we have, I, weboth have like, what, three year
olds and so he'll be four in Mayand the other one is just
turning eight months old.
Yeah.
Oh, wow.
(03:36):
Yeah.
So your kids are slightly olderthan mine.
Mine turns four in, August, andthen my little one.
Is turning eight months in liketwo weeks.
So yeah.
So like slightly ahead.
Anyone who's ever had a tallerknows that every moment is
chaos.
Yeah.
Yep.
(03:57):
And just, I think they, to addto that, it's just the
overstimulation that happens.
Mm-hmm.
Because it's like, I rememberbeing overstimulated when baby
was crying and now it's liketoddlers whining, baby's crying,
and husband's asking what's fordinner?
Like, do you wanna pull yourhair out?
I'm like, oh my God.
One at a time.
I am so happy that my husband isthe cook in the family, and he's
(04:22):
gotten our toddler to likeassist.
So her first job ever was, I'mgonna crack the black pepper.
And, and she couldn't even turnit.
So it was like just a sprinkle.
But then now she like cooks herlike little eggy scrambled eggs
and.
She'll make little dinosaursandwiches.
Oh, I love, because she'sobsessed with dinosaurs still.
(04:42):
Yeah.
I mean, what toddler isn'tthough, right.
So, yeah.
We're like right there.
We're like right in the, in themiddle of the struggle together.
We know we know what's going on.
I want our listeners to knowabout the balanced mom.
So give us a little, like giveus a little bit.
'cause we're gonna get into it.
Absolutely.
(05:02):
So the balanced mom is not aboutperfection.
That's obviously off the table.
Motherhood is never gonna be100%.
It is trial and error.
It is wanting control andknowing that it's gonna go
sideways.
It's.
All the things that, yeah, wewish we could do, but might not
have had the time to.
So the balanced mom is creatingsmall, sustainable self-care
(05:25):
rituals that you can do everysingle day.
And no, I'm not talking aboutskincare and I'm not talking
about having the latest footmassager, I am talking about
actual self-care.
I will take five minutes to sitwith my coffee, feel the warmth
of the mug, smell the aroma ofit, and just have that moment to
myself, we mm-hmm.
(05:46):
As mothers.
Unfortunately, I wish we got theopportunity to say that we get
more than an hour a day toourselves, but realistically
probably not gonna happen for afew years, so, right.
We, we make due with what wehave, so the balance mom, we're
working towards buildingcommunity.
I do have a, it is a paidcommunity to be in, but it's a
safe place to vent and talkabout your struggles as well as,
(06:10):
there's some journal prompts inthere and affirmations for your
cell phone wallpaper to kind ofkeep you motivated and going on
those really rough days.
I feel that moms.
I feel like self-care is aluxury and it's not a necessity
at this point.
So it's how do we reframe this?
That you are worthy of this, youdeserve this, and we should go
(06:31):
ahead and support each other.
110%.
Yes, definitely.
Oh my God, I feel like so manymoms are out there and just
being like, give, give, give,give, give.
Poor, poor, poor.
And I'm just like, okay, so whathave you done for me lately?
Like, you know, that's whatliterally your body is asking
you is just like, all right, Isee your son, I see your
(06:53):
daughter, your husband, yourpartner, but like your body's
screaming.
Like, do something for yourself.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
I love that you're building thiscommunity.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Yeah.
It's been an absolute passionproject.
It's funny, I come from acorporate world of finance, so
we're definitely segueing here,but in a ultimately male
(07:15):
dominated field, mm-hmm.
It's, it's.
Extra tricky'cause you want tomake sure that your voice is
heard as well.
And, I feel like this is gonnabe the place to do it.
After my first, I did return towork I was in that kind of
setting, and I'm really quicklyrealized how challenging that
was going to be.
Given that nobody.
(07:38):
Understood slash cared aboutwhat it actually meant to be a
full-time working mom.
Mm-hmm.
All the stuff that comes afterthat.
Then there's all the extras,right?
Yeah.
So you're any female in anycorporate world.
You're also doing the partyplanning, which I find really
weird, but yeah.
So I have to do Christmas forthe office and Christmas for my
(07:59):
kids.
And it is just so incrediblymuch, like, I don't think
they're realizing what they'reasking of, women and flexibility
is just like off the table.
Like it's just, yeah, this is,yeah, this is the framework that
you have to work within.
So it was after my second that Ikind of said, okay, like now
there's two.
So double the sick days anddouble the activities.
(08:22):
So it's how can we add moreflexibility?
And then that did come to theconclusion that it's gonna have
to be a small business.
Yeah.
And just realizing that yeah,moms are really, truly.
Undervalued and it's reallyheartbreaking because we are the
backbone of so many things, andI love that.
Yeah.
I'm just a mom.
(08:43):
No, no, no, no, no.
Hold up.
You're a project manager of likean entire household.
You're ensuring that yourhusband is able to go to work,
right.
Every day.
Yeah.
I always tell my husband, andit's not the best thing to think
about, but like, if I got hit bya truck, do you know how many
people it would take to replaceme?
Yeah.
Gosh.
Right.
Oh gosh.
(09:03):
Just kind of adding that inthere, like, it's awful to go
there and think about that.
And I wanna cry, think about mykids without a mom.
It's real, right?
Yeah.
Like, that's what we have to,consider as well.
So we are.
Definitely very, very important.
And we are worthy of time andspace for ourselves.
Six days after I gave birth tomy second, kid, my daughter,
(09:23):
Jasmine, my body went intoshock, right?
Mm-hmm.
I had left the hospital.
We were fine luckily, I amtrained in first aid and dealing
with all that stuff.
So I knew, I could tell likesomething was wrong and I was
like starting to like take careof myself and I was like telling
my husband, I was like, okay,I'm pretty sure my body's going
into shock.
Like I had this like reallystrong pain on one side and then
(09:45):
I started shaking and gettingreally cold.
And so I was like walking himthrough this.
And luckily we have a friendwho's a medical assistant, so he
like, called her instantly Ihave a six day old and then the
toddler and I'm wonder fivelayers of blankets, like telling
him like, okay, I need you to goget the heating pad.
Okay, put it on and they'lllike, roll me over, put it, you
(10:06):
know.
And so he's just like, yes, yes,yes, but.
My friend came and sat with mein the er.
We had, we also brought mydaughter to the ER just in case
something was wrong with both ofus.
And then eventually they clearedher.
She got to go home.
Our other two friends were heretaking care of the toddler, so
then they took care of bothkids.
(10:27):
But my friend, when my husbandwas driving our daughter home,
to drop off and then come back,she was just like.
He's crying in the parking lot.
Like he is so scared.
And I was like, oh my gosh.
And she goes, I'm gonna go calmhim down.
And like,'cause they would onlylet one person sit with you in
the er.
Yeah.
And so he's like, okay, well Ihave the car seat in my car, so
(10:50):
I'll drive her home and thencome back and she was just like,
he's like gonna break down.
She's like, I'm gonna go homeand watch your kids and I'll
keep an eye on your baby.
If something's wrong, we'lldrive her back.
My husband came and he sat withme.
He, and I was like, are youdoing okay?
And you could tell, he was like,I'm doing fine.
Like I'm doing fine.
And I'm like, mm, mm-hmm.
My bestie just told me like,what happened in the parking lot
(11:11):
and I'm like, don't worry.
Like it's gonna be fine.
And I'm there trying to suck itin and be like.
Oh yeah, my side hurts, but likeit's gonna be fine honey.
And they're just like, we don'tknow what's going on with you.
Like literally got no answersfor one day.
They're just like, here's areally strong painkillers.
You can't breastfeed for thenext 24 hours.
'Cause they're like, if youbreastfeed, you can't take this.
(11:33):
And I go.
The baby will be fine for 24hours.
I am in insane pain, and thengoing home and my husband was
just like, you could just tellevery like ounce of life was
just drained from him, frombeing so stressed.
We were there for six hours andhe was just like, yeah, he's
like.
Don't fucking scare me again.
Like that.
Like, don't ever do that again.
And I was like, like I plannedit.
(11:55):
My body was like, you just needa break from the kids.
Let's be sick for six hours.
That's chaos.
So now you can see why Iliterally named my podcast Caffe
Chaos.
It's just been one thing afteranother.
We are so deep in potty trainingright now, so like I'm living
chaos every day.
You just never know whatsurprises around the corner.
(12:17):
Did we make it?
Did we not?
Oh, I am so happy we gotlaminate floor, like our
laminate flooring throughout andI'm just like.
Woo.
Easy cleanup, but still get tothe bathroom.
So I wanna talk a little bitmore about the balance.
Mom.
I know we went off topic for alittle bit, but, so you had this
(12:42):
like vision now that you had twokids and all that.
So what made you think likecommunity instead of like.
A digital product or justFacebook groups?
Mm-hmm.
That kind of thing.
So what made you like, Ooh, I'mgonna take this and I'm gonna
blow it up on a big scale.
There's lots of factors inthere.
(13:02):
It's not say that I'm trying tocurate a specific set of people
right.
But the internet has trolls.
Like they just, they do right?
You 100%.
So it's like if you go to aplace that's paid, I mean, if
you wanna troll me and pay me todo it, have at her, I'll kick
you out and take your money,that's fine.
But it's also, um, a case ofjust having somewhere safe to be
right.
Like, I mean, unfortunately, andI don't think it's the masses.
(13:25):
I fall right in the middle.
Like fed is best, right?
Mm-hmm.
Like if you breastfeed, if youformula feed.
I don't care.
You do what works for you.
Is your baby healthy?
Right?
Like at the end of the day,that's it.
It's all matters.
Yeah.
You vaccinate do not vaccinate.
Like if, if someone doesn'tvaccinate their kids, you have
your reasons.
Mm-hmm.
If you do vaccinate your kids donot belittle people for that.
(13:46):
Right.
True.
Like it's, it's just making surethat again, you do your choices,
but we don't have to be akeyboard warrior about it.
Yeah.
It's all I'm gonna say is it'sjust I wanna create a place that
is, yeah, it's safe.
You can exist, you can postthings, but it's not gonna start
like this big'cause it's scarysometimes.
I've been in some mom groups andyou just, yeah.
You see someone that's spoutingmisinformation is a big one too.
(14:08):
Yeah.
I'm just like, you can have youropinion, but this is not where
you get to put it.
Right.
Because there are people who aresusceptible.
Or who don't know, or thataren't gonna follow up on it,
and they're gonna take that andthey're gonna believe it.
So it is kind of, how do we havea safer space for moms?
Really?
I 100% agree with you too isbecause, I mean, I'm sure many
(14:30):
of our listeners here are.
Like users and members ofdifferent kind of like, you
know, those Facebook groups orfree groups or, you know, that
kind of thing.
But when it's like, when thereis a barrier to entry, so like
the paid subscription.
Then it's a lot more likeinstead of just like, I'm just
gonna go on Facebook and I'mgonna be like, what is this?
(14:52):
And then a million people withdifferent stuff.
And then you have to sit thereand fact check everything too,
like you were saying.
Right.
Of like, is this a legit thing?
Like Yeah.
I've seen people suggestingeven.
Just, yeah, very unsafe thingslike, oh, I give your baby
vitamin A.
I'm like, okay, well that canreally harm their liver if
you're not careful.
I love the idea and for me too,I am part of a couple paid
(15:13):
groups where I'm just like, whenI go there, one, I know that.
If I'm, like, if I have aquestion, I can write that
question and be able to get somegood information and be seen,
instead of just going on andthen, like you said, there are
trolls and people literally willjust say the meanest things
(15:33):
sometimes on free forums, dumpit and walk away.
Right.
And you know, as moms,especially if you are a new mom,
first kid, right.
That's very harmful to yourmentality too.
I'm one of the first in my groupto have children, then there's
like the mom that has twins orthe mom who is brand new, and
(15:53):
I'm like, they're like, you havetwo kids, how do you do it?
I just have one and I'm justlike, it's a learn habit.
Like everything is.
On the go training.
Everything is really on the jobtraining when you are a mom.
A hundred percent.
And the other part of that toowas to have a place of support
and hype each other up becausethat's what you say.
That's the nice part about goinginto these groups is there is
(16:15):
this, overarching theme of thegroup, right?
Mm-hmm.
And it's.
We're all moms, we're all goingthrough it, right?
We all have varying experiences.
I don't know about you, but myfirst actually ended up in an
emergency C-section, so that wasOoh, like a whole other layer I
almost got there.
And then the second one, Ihemorrhage pretty roughly.
(16:35):
So it's just one of these thingsthat, yeah, we're all gonna have
our different experiences,especially with each child.
And it's how can we convey andtalk about those things in a
safer, more contained space, Iguess I'll say.
'cause yeah, it's, I, the ideahere is we're gonna create a
place we, where people can cometo.
I do have my first, speaker'cause there's monthly speakers
that are gonna come in fun.
(16:56):
She's a mother as well and she'san author.
So she's actually written a bookabout her journey of resiliency
and going through divorce.
So we'll have her come on in andtalk about that.
And the other plan will be,we'll have a chiropractor,
pelvic floor specialist, likejust things that can help moms
like even further down the line,like I think.
Pelvic floor even into menopauseis a whole other thing.
(17:17):
So yeah.
We have these lovely joys.
But yeah, just creatingsomeplace that's curated, but
also a professional kindastandpoint, but also down to
earth.
We've all been there.
There's no easy feat.
Listeners who are moms, ifyou're out there, you do not
have to struggle by yourself.
(17:38):
I know that sometimes, likepeople are like, oh, being a
mom, I'm always busy, but I feellonely, you know?
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
And I feel like.
That is a very, very much sharedkind of feeling at some
experience point during yourmotherhood.
Then I have fr a friend whosekid is in school, and so she's
like, well, I'm friends with theother moms.
And I'm like, do you only seethem in the pickup line?
(18:00):
I love that we're having thisconversation now because
literally at the time of thisrecording.
Tomorrow I get to meet myfriend.
Has a pair of twins and we'relike, she's like, I gotta run
this errand, but I'm gonna havean extra hour.
And I was like.
Cool.
I will get off work early'causeI'm done with all like,'cause I
finished all my stuff early andI was like, I'm gonna get off at
work early.
Where are we meeting?
(18:21):
And we're like, let's go to thisgastro pub, let's go try it out.
You know, so.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So we're like gonna sneak in anhour and I say sneak in, like I
don't, we don't even have tosneak it in, but that's what it
feels like is that we're likesneaking in an hour of us time
in the middle of errands,getting off work early.
Yes, yes.
Just to have mom friend time.
(18:42):
So that's such a weird mentalityto have too, is that we have to
literally like quote unquotesneak in time.
No, that's true.
And I think that's a big piecetoo, that a lot of moms
unfortunately miss, is you areallowed to have, time for
yourself as well.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, a hundred percent.
And with your friends as well.
I saw a post this morning and Ikind of started to get angry,
and it's like, let's normalizenot needing time away from our
kids.
And I'm like.
(19:03):
Why, why?
Like, I love my kids.
That's never gonna be aquestion.
And I don't feel that women needto articulate that I love my
kids.
But yeah, let's just abolishthat.
Like we know we, yeah.
I know you love your kids and Iknow that you still want to run
this podcast and you still havedreams for yourself and you
still have ambitions andAbsolutely you should, like,
(19:24):
you're still a person.
You haven't just completelymorphed into this quiet mom was
just gonna do everything in thecorner.
Like, no, no, no, no, no.
That's what our moms did.
And look at them now.
I'm sorry, but look at them now.
They are deeply, deeply kind oflost in, in, in where to go
next.
Like I, yeah, it was really kindof hard to see and mm-hmm.
(19:46):
I'm estranged from my mom, butshe used to say to me all the
time, is, I sacrificedeverything for you.
Mm-hmm.
And at the end of the day, itwas always hard.
'cause I'm like, I never askedyou to.
Right.
You know, it's like I understandthat there were things that I
had to do and I wasn't crazyinto sports.
So it's not like there was aninsane amount to do, but it's
like, yeah, I never asked thatof you and that was something
(20:08):
that you.
Probably felt pushed into itwasn't probably something that
they wanted, but that's theother part of it too, is it'll
cost you a lot.
So yeah, you're allowed to haveyour own life, own dreams.
We have a housemate whobasically is kind of like a
live-in babysitter.
He's uncle Junior, right?
He's, he's like a brother.
(20:29):
But not blood related.
Right.
He's one of those like reallygood friends.
Yeah.
And the girls absolutely lovehim.
Right.
They call him Uncle Junior.
Well, the taller who can talkcalls him Uncle Junior, the baby
just looks at him.
Exactly.
And just gives him that likethat like, how dare you not pick
me up.
Look like, come over here andplay with me.
Look.
So I know how lucky we are whereI'm like, Hey, there's literally
(20:51):
like three of us in this likeparenthood rotation between me,
my husband and junior, and thegirls.
Absolutely.
Sometimes I'll walk home and mytoddler, I walk in the door and
my toddler goes, why are youhere?
Like, I live here.
Like, what do you mean I livehere?
Oh, well, me and uncle are gonnago play scooter.
(21:12):
And I'm like, okay, you can, youguys can still go play scooter.
I'm not in the way here.
So yeah, so it comes to thatlike whole thing where it's like
sometimes like.
Yes, you can be there for yourkids, but also sometimes your
kids just don't want you aroundlike Oh, a hundred percent.
Yeah.
Even at three years old, she'slike, why are you here?
Like, okay.
(21:34):
But then there's that momentwhere you're like.
Okay, I'm gonna go to thebathroom.
Wait for me.
And I'm like, no, go playscooter.
I told you earlier that we'repotty training, so like she'll
follow me to the bathroom andI'm like, first I go.
Do you need to use the bathroom?
I said, no.
And then she'll be like, mom,you have to wipe Okay.
Front to back mummy, mummy frontto.
(21:54):
And I was like, I know I'mteaching you.
Like that's hardest schema.
But yeah, I love that they justassume that you've never, I'm
like, never, ever.
I don't think you've realizedhow much longer mommy's been on
this earth, but.
And so I'm just like, Ooh, oneday when you have a child and
you're like, potty training, I'mgonna be like, reme.
(22:15):
I remember when you used tofollow me every single time and
she doesn't follow the boys.
And I was like.
Man, sometimes I'll even try totake a shower and she'll just be
outside and she goes, what areyou doing?
What are you doing?
Clean, clean your leg, mommy.
And she's just talking to methrough the shower curtain, she
can't even see me.
(22:35):
And I'm just like, maybe if Idon't talk back, she'll think
nobody's in here.
And she'll go back outside tothe guys.
No, she will not, I've justlearned that if I lock the door.
It's just gonna be likescratching Mommy, mommy, what
are you doing inside there?
And I'm like, I'm just using thebathroom.
Leave me alone.
(22:57):
But that like, I was just like.
All right.
If you come in here, you gottause the bathroom, you gotta use
the toilet.
And she was just like, I don'thave to.
And I was like, okay.
She goes, okay, I closed thedoor for you, mommy.
And I was like, oh, I unlockedthe cheat code.
Start asking them no.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Exactly.
Okay, so I love actionablesteps.
(23:20):
So if a listener is listening toyou right now and is just like.
I love it.
I'm a mom.
I need support like this.
What are some first actionablesteps that they can take, to
either one connect with you orif just in general, for a mom
who's.
Needs to get on that self careroutine and, listeners, if you
need permission, we are givingyou permission.
(23:42):
You have it, you have it.
Because sometimes people arejust like, I just need to know
that it's okay and it is okay totake care of yourself.
So, yeah.
So Paula, what.
What's a good actionable stepthat people can take?
Yeah.
So at the end of the day, I'mall here for small actionable
steps.
We have bigger workshops andstuff too about, setting
boundaries, which is alsoinsanely important.
(24:02):
Mm-hmm.
Around yourself.
But, so even if it's justsomething very small, you're
toddler knocks over the milk.
Take a deep breath.
At the end of the day, I know wewere all condoned for it as
children, guess what?
It cleans up pretty easy.
Yeah.
It's one of those things thatit's really hard not to, get in
the moment.
So yeah, just take that deepbreath.
(24:24):
Give yourself a moment and thengo ahead.
If you have a toddler where thisis appropriate, the five minute
timer hack, you say, mommy's gotfive minutes and she's going to
do X, Y, z.
And you have your activity overhere.
We're gonna set this timer andaway we go.
Love that one.
Usually get interrupted a littlebit, but they're working on it,
(24:44):
so we'll get toward that.
I have my, eldest, if he's inthe room with me, he's up for 45
minutes.
So I am living this life rightnow.
I do have the three day reset,which is basically, a guide
that's gonna kind of encompass afew things to really just get
you digging as to where are someof these things coming from.
One of the big ones is moms feellike they've lost their identity
(25:05):
in motherhood.
And it's not that it's lost,it's not gone, it hasn't
disappeared.
You're still there.
It's, you're navigating a hugetransition where you just really
need to take a step back andsay, what did I like prior to?
Yeah, because you still gottasee, you might still love it.
It might change a little bit foryou.
There might be some other piecesthat you want to move around.
(25:26):
So it's just a way to, reallyget, get in tune with yourself
and your new self.
Yeah.
You're still, you're justevolving.
Yeah.
And you're not lost in thechaos.
Listeners, the guide that Paulawas talking about, I'm going to
link it down below in the shownotes, but you can click on that
and then grab that guide.
(25:46):
If somebody wants to connectwith you and get more
information about the balancedmom, how can they connect with
you?
You bet.
So the easiest way is onInstagram.
There's tons of free content foryou to consume there.
It's at the balanced.mom andthen the website as well, which
is the balanced mom.ca'causeCanada.
Nice.
And again, links will be in thebio, so.
(26:09):
Awesome.
Okay, so we're about.
To wrap up, do you have anyfinishing, like last minute
thoughts for our listeners?
I would just say thank you andif you're listening and you need
the reminder, you deserve totake care of yourself too.
Percent if you take awayanything from this episode,
that's what I'm gonna tell you.
(26:30):
Yes, you are not alone.
There are, ways to connect withboth of us on Instagram.
You need to vent and you need asafe place.
You are not alone, and pleasetake care of yourselves.
Mm-hmm.
Well, Paula, thank you so muchfor coming to the podcast.
I really enjoyed our episode,and we're gonna have to have you
(26:53):
come back like, because I feellike our journey, especially
where we are with our children'sages, I'll be like, oh my God,
okay, so they're four now.
What are we doing?
What?
What's different?
Right?
I hear them often referred to asthe effing fours.
So I'm, oh, is it really tryingto segue into that?
Yeah.
It's not great so far.
(27:14):
Is it?
Is it just like a bad thingevery two years?
'cause it's like the terribletwos, the f-ing fours, which is
funny.
Like the terrible twos.
I got it, but it wasn't.
As awful as it was made out tobe.
I don't know.
Yeah.
That wasn't my experience, butit's been three, four has been
cause they know better, butthey're just mm-hmm.
They wanna see how you're gonnareact to it.
And it's always hard.
(27:35):
They're always walking on theedge of that line.
Yeah.
Where it's like, okay.
I'm gonna do it.
She said, no, but yes, yes.
Oh my God.
So we'll have to check back inabout the FN fours at some
point.
Awesome.
Well, thank you so much again,and listeners, I will see you in
the next episode.
That's a wrap on another episodeof Caffeinated Chaos.
(27:57):
I hope you're leaving with alittle more clarity, a lot more
inspiration, and maybe even anextra shot of motivation.
If you love today's episode,don't forget to follow us.
Leave a review and share it witha friend who could use just a
little chaos and caffeine intheir life.
Until next time, keep embracingthe mess.
Chase your dreams and make magichappen.
(28:20):
One caffeinated, chaotic momentat a time.
I will see you all soon.
Bye now.
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