February 20, 2025 • 41 mins
The last remaining one seed from the bracket goes up against a dark horse (for us at least) three seed in a challenging matchup for the quarter final of the Serious section. Everyone's favorite unwashed chef, Robin vs ex-con and lovable drunk, Joe! Come find out whatever the hell we end up talking about around these two great films. We are getting dangerously close to the Final Foreskin. This is Cage Match.
Intro music by: Bill Panks
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Oh, God.
(00:05):
Oh, my God.
Look at how big my beer is.
Oh, it's so big.
(00:26):
I mean, compared to your head, which is ginormous,
that's a big bear.
At 32 ounces.
Whoo.
I just went and had
happy hour dinner and drinks with my coworker,
Alyssa, and we went to.
I mean, you know, since we're going to talk about pig today,
(00:46):
this is kind of fitting because we went to like
get fancy oysters and like fancy expensive food on happy hour
that I generally can't afford.
You went highfalutin.
Yeah, they had a really juicy like fucking White Castle Burger,
the steam burger
with like gourmet cheese.
Did it give you gourmet shits like a White Castle Burger?
(01:07):
We'll see. Only true form.
Yeah, exactly.
If we have to stop halfway through the podcast.
This is this podcast is now an unofficial race your body competition.
Now, the question is, were the little burgers, were they square?
Yes. Oh, OK.
Did they have the holes in them?
No, but it was steamed.
It was a cowards.
(01:27):
I do love a steamed ham.
I like when I ordered it because it was like the steamed burger
and I was getting like we were getting oysters and I was like, I'm like,
is this a Simpsons reference?
And then when I when they brought it out, I'm like, wait, no, White Castle.
This makes sense now.
What's the name of the joint you went to?
Canard.
(01:47):
This does sound highfalutin.
But no, it was it was super fancy.
They had the cheapest pens, though, like Alyssa and I both got our bills
and neither of our pens worked.
I respect the attention to craft.
And then the second place we went, they had a fondue.
And I'm like, oh, fun.
Don't mind if I do.
Exactly.
And they did not bring us little plates.
(02:08):
So I was precariously balancing dripping like hot cheese over my dress.
I'm like, this is this is less than ideal.
I'm going to leave an angry review on Yelp that no one will read.
Oh, that's weak.
You should have just let it drip and then use the bottom of the dress
to like wipe your face, showing everybody your Johnson.
(02:29):
Yeah, that's leveling up.
I mean, I'm wearing undergarments.
Coward, coward.
It's not a kilt.
It's also as Nick and I had discussed previously to you getting on Peter.
It's fucking cold down here.
You mean in your nether region or?
Yes.
Cold from inattention.
If I weren't wearing if I weren't wearing leggings
(02:51):
and I decided to give everyone a show, they wouldn't.
It would have been trivial.
There wouldn't have been much to say.
Not if that hand the waiter had gotten in there.
Soft waiter hands.
Yeah. That tip don't come cheap.
Monetary tip. My tip comes cheap.
I'm a cheap.
Yeah. Thank you for clarifying.
(03:11):
All right. Pig it is pig wins next episode.
OK, good. Thanks, guys.
Glad we postponed until today.
I have stuff to say.
I saved something new up in here for when we talk about Joe.
And we'll see if I remember it.
I had I had thoughts about
(03:32):
both of these movies in regards to Nicholas Cage.
I mean, that is what do we do here, Sean?
Welcome back to KG.
Matt Carlin around about Nicholas Cage.
I'm your host, Sean, here with my co-host Nick
and our producer Peter. Hello.
And this week might be the best setup to that bit we've ever done.
(03:53):
Yeah, actually.
I mean, I mean, it is I guess giving like the thesis,
which we should do anyway, and don't most of the time.
I'm hey, last episode, I didn't get into this till like the back 20 minutes.
Yeah, I liked it. It was good.
Yeah. Hey, I'm impressed that it only took us almost three years
to figure out how a podcast works.
(04:13):
And we're almost done.
I mean, we have most of it figured out.
You need microphones, I guess, headphones.
They're called cans in the business, Peter.
Love a good can.
I do, too.
I've got a folded towel, you know, just sitting here
at the ready, the waiter comes. Yeah.
So I can put it over my waist for, you know, discretion.
(04:35):
Yeah, it's modest. Yeah.
I'm not fucking Peewee Herman out here.
It's like that.
It's like that's something that baby
that you have to eat like with a sheet over your head to hide your shame.
Oh, yeah. The or to lawn. Yeah.
I know fancy food stuff.
Have you guys ever seen a duck press?
A duck breast.
(04:58):
Press P.R.E.S.S.
I'm like I'm imagining like a wine press, like a great press,
but for just with a bunch of ducks in it.
You like cook a duck and then you put it into this like medieval torture device
that has like a whole bunch of screws and like cranks.
And then it crushes and pulverizes the duck into a goo.
(05:21):
And then you I can't I think you cook it somehow more than that,
but I don't remember what else gets added to it.
And then you eat that.
It's like you. You had me at goo.
So it's like a shittier panini press.
God,
the press is already.
Yeah. But what if you could
(05:42):
liquefy your panini and eat it that way?
That be that might be an upgrade, honestly, to a panini.
That's just like how many of us have owned a panini press?
I've owned a George Foreman.
I mean, if you count a George Foreman grill
and then you just put a book on top of it and that's a panini press.
Yeah.
But can Hornback once told me that every like every sandwich should be paninied
(06:05):
a panini press makes every sandwich better.
And like the panini is the ultimate sandwich.
I'm like, do you have a panini press?
I'm like, and he said yes.
And I'm like, how many times have you used it?
He's like once I'm like, that's everyone who's ever owned a panini press.
Yeah. I mean, I think you could make a case
that like a toasted sandwich is potentially superior.
OK, hold on.
I want to say that Hornback using a kitchen appliance
(06:28):
even once validates his existence.
Nothing validates his existence.
Not his the panini press. Sorry.
The panini press. Yeah.
Was it this podcast or just a general
chicanery when we came up with the panini press?
That seems like an orc.
It was not.
It was not this podcast, but it does seem like an orc.
(06:50):
It's to get the ridges.
So on this podcast, we talk about Nicolas Cage movies.
Obviously, we started with a bracket of 64 films,
narrowed it down to 32, then the slicks teen.
Now we're in the master eight.
But you got to say it faster. The master eight.
(07:11):
I don't get it.
The waiter does.
Ah, there we go.
This week, we are discussing Pig V.
Joe, two movies that have three letters in the name.
And Beards.
He's got a he's got a sidekick.
He does have a sidekick in both.
It is kind of like a buddy movie in both cases.
And they both start star Nicolas Cage.
(07:33):
You know, it's kind of sad that I immediately just
I didn't think of a mirror.
I thought you were referring to handpan
as his kid sidekick.
You know, that kid who was in the movie for one scene.
I do love handpan.
What's a persimmon?
You fucking dumb kid.
Yeah.
Parents don't teach you anything anymore.
(07:56):
I still maintain that kid's going to wind up on a fucking bill card in one day.
Yeah, I mean, the total lack of stranger danger is pretty troubling.
Yeah. Yeah.
I mean, if a dude's in your backyard, he must be OK to talk to, though,
because why else would he be in your backyard?
I come across my fair share of unhoused people in the city, and
(08:18):
generally, they've all been quite polite.
There's only been one guy.
There's only been one guy.
He came in hot.
I got to a bar after a dinner thing, and pretty much as soon as I got in there,
the bar backslash bouncer just like ran into the bar,
like a lock in it behind him and like this other guy just like him
and like just slammed his hand against the glass and was like holding a
(08:40):
Where's Waldo book up to it?
Because he was excited about finding Waldo.
I don't know. We were told the guy has a knife.
He likes to show it to people and they're like, we're just not dealing with it
tonight. We're all like, they're not fair at all.
Yeah, I think that's a reasonable choice.
I want to see the knife, but I really I want to see if they found Waldo.
(09:00):
Oh, it's just that dickhead who circles Waldo and Sharpie on every page.
That shit bugs me.
Do it at the dentist's office.
Like, here you go, fuckers.
Yeah, we all we all know that Nick was more of an odd lot.
I do love odd law.
I also love finding the wizard.
What was the dog's name?
Wall dog dog.
(09:22):
Wait, say yours again, Sean.
Dog down.
I don't think that's a good word.
Yeah, obviously, it's a dill dog.
Now you're thinking of the dog from Dilbert.
Wolf, his name was Wolf.
That doesn't follow convention.
Dill dog. It does not.
What was Lady Waldo?
(09:43):
Wenda. Yeah, that's rough.
I'm pretty sure Waldo and Wenda are the same person.
Waldo does have kind of an its pat sort of vibe.
Yeah, I'm looking at I'm looking at a side by side right now.
I mean, I'm the last person that can, you know,
fucking throw stones in this in regards to this.
Yeah, for real.
I think I found our next Halloween costume group.
(10:05):
Halloween costume.
Make it a solo costume and just keep leaving the room and changing.
It always bugs me when large groups of people all dress up as Waldo
to go out on Halloween.
No, you all dress up as almost Waldo.
You have one person dressed fully as Waldo.
But everybody wants to be Waldo, then
only one person gets to be Waldo, then.
(10:26):
Yeah, that's the bit.
Well, I don't think I want to do this costume with you.
All right. Let's just all go as a hornback.
I do want to do that costume.
I want to be two hornbacks in a horse costume.
We have to both show up as horse butts.
Yes.
I love this movie.
I absolutely adore this movie.
(10:46):
Still, to this day,
I don't I don't have much else to say about it other than it's great.
It continues to be great.
Yeah. One of these days, I want to try.
I mean, this doesn't have to be anything, but I just want to make the food from pig.
Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's a great idea.
If it makes it to the the final two,
(11:06):
we should have that be served at the movie theater. Sure.
But only one item, Amir's disappointing French toast.
It's like, sorry, I don't cook much.
Yeah, exactly.
Set off the set off the smoke detector.
I was just going to bring one.
I'll take a baguette.
Yeah, actually.
So the journey of pig, it first went up against left behind.
(11:29):
Left behind.
Maybe we got that one wrong.
No, we did not.
That movie is so terrible.
I was thinking about that because I was re listening to the episode.
And the only thing that was funny about that was that
Nick got to make a lot of left behind jokes.
And she was left behind.
(11:49):
Oh, yeah, that that never gets old.
I, you know, honestly, I like thinking back on left behind,
like all the weird piles of clothes and like the way she like
took her brother's clothes and backpack and was like carrying it around.
Like it was going to rehydrate into him or some shit.
(12:11):
Yeah. And like all the clothes, like falling out of the sky
in the mall or whatever, like as if everybody was like,
Oh, I'm getting raptured.
Now is the time for me to jump off this like sky bridge
and like, Oh, pants.
Woohoo.
It's raining pants.
(12:32):
I just think it's the parents who really didn't like those kids.
And all of a sudden, these kids are gone and they're celebrating.
They're just like, yes.
They chuck the stuff in the.
Yeah. Fuck your pants, dad.
I'm just thinking about how
detrimental actual Christians
who aren't assholes that would actually get raptured.
(12:54):
And I don't think it's as many as Thanos's snap would take out.
I don't think the economy will.
It's definitely not 50 percent of the world, so.
Yeah, that's a pretty high.
Plus, his snap was universal.
Yeah, but we're America.
We don't care about that.
America first.
(13:14):
We always get raptured.
What if God had it wrong
or like had a speech impediment and instead of rapturing everybody,
he raptured everybody and we all got turned into raptors.
This is a Chuck Tingle situation.
I am 100 percent here for that religion.
(13:35):
We've just you have just invented a new religion.
Guys, Chuck Tingle is going to be at Emerald City Comic Con this year.
So if you need to like go meet Chuck Tingle.
That's the time to do it.
Love is real.
That's what he says.
(13:55):
I think I've only listened to his podcast once or twice.
It's pretty hilarious.
So let's see, what is your favorite meal from Pig?
Maybe the shitty takeout food that he gives to Edgar.
I don't know that.
What was that thing he made that in the first one?
The result of the rustic tart.
(14:16):
It does look pretty good.
Yeah, that looks that looks pretty good.
I want that.
Yeah, I don't want to have to like live in a dirty cabin to make it.
Like if I can just make them at home, that'd be great.
Wouldn't be rustic.
I mean, you could just start a fire in your courtyard and cook it out there.
You do have to have hands washed only loosely in a river.
Soaps overrated.
(14:39):
That's all the friction.
I have an immune system.
Get that waiter over here.
What's it good for if I'm not putting it to work every once in a while?
Need me some friction.
Yeah. You need that.
That farmer friend.
Yeah, those callous hands will just blast the dirt right off.
I need your help starting a fire.
Yeah, just rub this stick between your palms.
(15:02):
Oh, yeah, I just.
One of those until just sparks.
Let's see.
So it one of the things left behind the frozen ground and eight millimeters.
Frozen ground.
Rest in ground is.
Yeah, that wasn't too bad for like
just a Nicolas Cage, quote unquote, thriller or whatever.
(15:26):
Like in retrospect, it's like maybe a C plus as a film goes.
Yeah. Oh, yeah.
But in terms of things that got eliminated, it wasn't that bad.
No, it was pretty decent overall.
And I mean, it did have 50 Cent in the wig, which is.
Oh, hell yeah.
I forgot about that.
I mean, eight millimeter really.
(15:47):
I mean, we talked about this got by as far as it did because of its matchups.
Not that it doesn't deserve to be remembered fondly, but.
Yeah, I actually it kind of has grown on me in retrospect to like
I think you guys liked it more than I did.
And I've thought about that movie more than I thought that I would.
Yeah, it's a I, you know, I still enjoy eight millimeter.
(16:10):
It's one that I would rewatch.
In the right mood, but
which I don't know what the mood is for watching.
You got to be in a Dino Dino velvet.
Yeah, I got to want to hear like a lot of background,
a effects twin and whatnot.
I mean, so what's interesting to me is like Pig, obviously, is a very good movie.
(16:33):
It's well regarded by everybody.
It's very well regarded by us.
It wasn't like a surprise necessarily, even though I think it's a surprise
that we loved it as much as we did.
And that sort of grew over time.
I think that its path to this point has been kind of easy.
Yeah, but.
It's also good, so clearly it deserved.
(16:53):
It was what, like a one seed for us.
Yeah. Yeah.
So it's the only one seed left in the race.
Yeah, correct. Yeah.
It hasn't had any challenges up until theoretically this week.
Yeah.
Joe. Yeah, Joe was much more hard fought to get here
(17:15):
because Joe went up against some like good things.
Joe's path was tough.
I mean, I'm biased because I thought Zanderle was.
I love Zanderle.
Not saying Zanderle isn't great.
Didn't deserve to go forward.
No, it didn't deserve to go forward over.
Joe. There's no world where Zanderle comes out, came out of this on top.
(17:37):
Yeah. Just like in that movie.
I don't think Zanderle was a top at all.
But remember Steve Buscemi? Yeah.
And then.
I forgot. I forgot.
I was forgetting that movie.
Kind of like in Conair. Boo.
I can't make a make an argument for him in Zanderle.
I think he's just in it for some reason.
(17:59):
Yeah, he's just like a guy on a work crew.
Pretty much right.
No, he's on like work release or something.
And then he runs away.
Yeah. Yeah, that makes sense.
Steals the TV.
Yeah.
Maybe it's Garland Green.
Maybe it's Garland Green.
So yeah, Zanderle and then it went up against bringing out the dead.
And then.
(18:20):
Great movie. Yeah, totally.
And then leaving Las Vegas.
Also great movie.
Also a movie that you have to be in a really specific mindset to watch.
Yeah, I mean, I stand by the decision to have Joe go over that one.
I think it's a great movie in general, but mostly because of the performance.
You know, like I just don't want to watch that movie ever again.
Oh, my God. If I never have to hear Sting
(18:42):
start that damn song and never finish it.
That is sort of his M.O.
Oh, man.
Never stop, never stopping.
Fucking sting with his non-complete agreements.
Yeah. How was watching Joe?
How was watching Joe again this time?
I really liked it. Like I said, oh, I did notice.
(19:04):
Did did you guys ever acknowledge how fucking short that other cop is in the background?
Like when Earl is releasing Joe and Sting,
and then there was a cop bringing in another guy, he's like five foot flat.
Like this guy is fucking small.
(19:24):
Oh, man. Now I want to watch like kind of in the scene.
And then you see him in the background, like booking somebody
and he looks like a bald child.
Holy shit, that guy is really short.
He's like the guy he's escorting is like three feet taller than him.
(19:45):
Oh, dip. Yeah.
Yeah, that guy is tiny.
I mean, what was the director on Joe again?
David Gordon Green.
I mean, he does have that thing for just like extras, just being, you know.
Oh, yeah.
(20:05):
It's pretty interesting.
I really like that about him.
And I mean, I think things have changed because now he's like directing
the Halloween series and stuff like that, which is sort of strange.
But his original like take was basically like
slices of Americana and real life people and sort of like
the normal version of David Lynch.
(20:26):
How big is his head?
Not that big. Oh.
I mean, the thing that always stands out
in this movie to me is just the physicality of Nicholas Cage in this film.
He is a fucking brick shithouse.
He looks natural at that size.
Yeah, I agree.
I remember the point I was going to make earlier that I completely forgot.
(20:48):
It's just like.
There's always that like view of like Nicholas Cage is this crazy guy,
which, you know, fucking he is.
But like, I feel like in this is in like the serious category
that we've set him up in specifically is where I don't know if it's the directors.
I don't know if it's just the roles he's picked for these.
But like, there's so much more of a commitment to so many of these characters.
(21:10):
And like, you really see the character actor work in like these
and this category of the bracket.
In a way that I don't feel like you see.
Outside of like maybe a weatherman.
Certainly in the movies we've chosen to move forward,
I would not say he committed much to left behind.
(21:33):
You could say that his performance was left behind.
Left behind those reach.
And I'm sorry.
It was it's OK.
Are you me?
Welcome back to Cage match.
Colin, round about with.
This cage.
You know, I mean, but then, you know, he's also been in like
(21:53):
Captain Correlli's Mandolin, which he committed to.
Sure, but that was kind of a goofy or film or a goofier role in that film.
I don't miss that movie.
I don't know that it's going to make a natural appearance in my life, but
it was fine.
Maybe a C minus.
(22:15):
I know I feel like for when we do the the double feature finale,
we need to just go like find a loose bargain bin of DVDs
and just put one under every seat.
Just a grab bag of miscellaneous.
Nick Cage DVDs.
I said we just lock the doors
and make everyone watch Captain Correlli's Mandolin so they can suffer like we did.
OK, that's an interesting question that we're going to sidebar on.
(22:38):
What movie other than Captain Correlli's?
What two movies would you force everyone to watch that suck?
You just say 100 percent you get so.
It's a doublehead doubleheader of jujitsu twice and then jujitsu twice.
(22:59):
I don't Captain Correlli's.
It's got it's got charming moments.
It's got the beach scene.
It's got like it's got fun little moments.
It's got him like not playing the mandolin for an extended period of time
because he has to wait for the like the horn section.
Boy, I know I would throw Primal in there.
(23:22):
Boy, I want to say
army of one would come back.
Yeah, I mean, my pick is definitely Prisoners of the Ghosts land.
Yeah, Gavanna Gavanna.
I I will always be ready for that.
I am so ready to show that I've after doing this for like
(23:45):
two more years, I am ready to like just go back to that.
I think another one that I would put into the conversation
just because it still makes me laugh so much now is next.
It's like that movie sucks.
It's so bad, but like it is pretty fun and fun.
It's the most exploding Jessica Alba's of any film,
(24:05):
which is zero of those Beals.
Yeah. Oh, yes.
You know, I would be excited for some drive angry also
that that scene of him like, yeah,
getting laid and drinking
and then getting into a gunfight while still getting laid was just too good.
I mean,
(24:27):
all right. So let's see, Joe.
My favorite scene still has got to be the the.
I mean, it's just so funny and it's so stupid
and I hadn't remembered until re listening to the podcast
that when they go and talk to that lady about the dog,
they're both just making the cool face.
And I'm like, also very drunk.
(24:49):
It's like that is so funny to me.
Just like, what did that lady think?
It's a dog that looks like a cow.
Well, lots of dogs can look like cows.
I just love how
Joe is just hitting on that lady, too.
So I go call me sometime.
(25:11):
Oh, yeah.
They're going to write my number on this beer can.
This is a drunk adolescent wanders around in your front yard.
Don't worry about it. He's cool.
And then she's like, ask scary if he's
if he's driving
because clearly Joe was too drunk.
(25:36):
It is really good.
This movie is really good.
The chemistry between
Ty Sheridan and Nicholas Cage is terrific.
Yeah, I mean, I think that's really what it hinges on.
Right. Like if you had a crappier teenage actor
or a not Nick Cage in this role, I just don't think it plays the same.
(25:56):
I was I was coming into this kind of ready to be like, I don't like
Nick Cage is great in this,
but I was kind of ready to come into this just with
I don't know that this movie necessarily hinges on it being the cage,
but I just have like IMDb open up right now.
And I'm just watching like little vignettes of
(26:17):
Joe just out of the corner of my eye and just
every look, every just little like every little just Nick Cage,
just Nick Cage smoking a cigarette.
And I'm like, no, it has that it has to be that face.
It has to be that fucking guy.
I don't think that people really.
Understand it and appreciate.
(26:38):
How good of a physical actor he is.
It's only something I'm coming to really kind of appreciate
several hundreds of hours into this experiment. Yeah.
Yeah. His Nicholas Cage's physical performances are terrific.
I think that's I mean,
that's kind of like what his whole deal hinges on, like all of his freak outs,
(27:01):
like their big physical things
that tie into the emotional experience that he's providing.
But his physicality is just on point.
And everything from like.
Yeah. On in 60 seconds.
Let's ride.
(27:23):
To the fucking
ghost rider.
But I mean, even beyond just like the like the Meeble below is
I'm just looking at the cover of Joe and just like, yeah,
the way he just holds his body, just like
it's so good.
It's like so many minor things that like the shadow of
(27:45):
Nick Cage, the crazy man, I feel like really
covers up like for most people how good he really is at his job.
Yeah.
Let's see any other new thoughts on Joe
from either listening back to us or from watching it a fresh time.
I'm still not.
(28:05):
And this is just a personal like.
Personal gripe.
I'm still not really sold on just like
getting a bunch of not actors to ad lib a bunch of lines.
Oh yeah, like the workers and stuff.
A lot of the like talk around Joe and just the Joe.
Yeah, just Joe like them saying Joe for every other word.
I'm just like.
Yeah. And that's certainly far more
(28:27):
evident when you've got subtitles on
because when it's just background pattern, it's whatever.
They do say his name a lot.
But I some of it I enjoy because,
well, I've worked with people just like them.
And so like the whole Slim Jim and Salami conversation.
(28:49):
Yeah, that gets me.
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Some really funny, good ad lib stuff from that.
Yeah. And I know like I know it's all meant to like
show a bit like a much more kind of like real feeling
and down to earth thing.
But I can, you know, suspend disbelief.
So it just like it just distracts me from other things.
(29:12):
And again, that's a personal gripe and.
Toned it down and cleaned up art a little bit of it.
Just made it more background,
but didn't have to be so direct. Yeah.
Yeah, I think the only other thing about this movie
that I like probably would change or reduce or adjust a little bit
is his relationship with that woman who comes and stays with him
(29:34):
for a period of time, like doesn't do enough for me.
Yeah. And then she's just sort of gone.
I still yeah, I mean, I think that just goes to show like
this is just who he is to a lot of people. For sure.
Even Tye Sheridan, he's just like he's just the one guy
who kind of has his shit together, who feels responsible for it.
(29:55):
It seems like the only person he like, aside from Gary,
the only person he ever had any kind of like desire
to be around was Merle.
So just in regards to like getting here and just these kind of being
the culmination of like what we've determined are his like serious films.
(30:19):
I think in regards to like what comedy wound up being, you know,
there's a he said a lot of those probably could have worked their way in here.
I don't know. Both these movies are so good for just.
His gravitas.
Like I said earlier, I don't know if it's the director
or just how much he cares about like these roles
that just bring out these performances.
(30:41):
I like I thought about
the interview where he talks about doing Spider-Verse.
Now he kept doing the lines and, you know, the director's like,
give me more, give me more and tell eventually like,
oh, you just want me to go full neck cage.
You're just like, so on, he, you know, he's in on it.
But like when we get those like really zany performances,
(31:03):
it seems maybe at this point in his career, like a little more like.
That's what he's hired to do that.
Yeah. Well, I mean, that was something that came up.
God, I hate having to reference this in G-Force when
he was like, oh, I can be anybody.
I'll be the mole because then I can use a different voice.
And I don't I don't have to just be Nicolas Cage. I can.
(31:28):
I can be. Speckles. Yeah.
Fuck.
Speckles. Yeah.
The nodes. Nudes.
That is also a movie I end up thinking about more than I should.
They fucking cry.
(31:48):
Oh, you know, I was fucking I was in the gym the other day,
and I cannot stop just juggling about the crude.
Fucking the punch monkeys.
Punch monkey scene is great.
I still I love that clip of them just shoveling food into their gobs.
I was thinking about.
I completely forgot that we ever watched that movie.
(32:09):
And I know.
I'm always a fucking.
I mean, that makes sense.
That's fine.
Just say so much to say that the movie slaps
is an insult to movies that indeed slap.
Well, it slaps and it punches and it kicks.
Well, not.
(32:29):
Probably.
Not as bad as G Force, but.
I'm still surprised, though, with like those like family animated films
that like he still comes hard in the recording booth.
That's a quite a sentence, Sean.
I'm going, oh, you you want a full Nick Cage?
(32:52):
All right.
So did you have other comparative thoughts for Joe and Pig?
They both have.
Food.
They're both depressing, but end up lifting.
I mean, yeah, neither of them end well for Nicholas Cage.
I don't I don't feel like he's come out ahead on either one.
(33:16):
I think he comes out ahead and pay.
He makes a friend.
He has he's kind of like gets to process.
Yeah, he's processing a little bit of his trauma.
Yeah, I mean, he comes out the other side.
OK, so if say.
If Pete died,
but I made another friend who was going to talk and be annoying.
(33:41):
Does that make me come out ahead?
Maybe Pete's the wrong one to if if somebody we all like to died,
but you got to have one other friend.
Yeah.
And then we hot swapped them out.
If Pete died.
Clearly, Pete is the pig in this situation.
(34:03):
I don't think just getting a new friend means he comes out.
He also gets a new pig.
He doesn't get in.
He hasn't gotten a new pig.
What isn't that like at the end?
You hear you hear you hear a new pig.
That's a that's a weird thing to say about Bruce Springsteen.
(34:27):
Yeah, I don't think he gets a new pig at the end,
like he might get a pig in the future, but
he never needed the pig.
Like not at the end of the film, but like he does get another pig eventually.
Like they allude to that.
This is like learning about Smalls's fake backstory from Nick.
Yeah, except for Smalls's fake backstory was fucking good.
(34:54):
I think you've.
Found more in it than I did,
because the way I see it is he didn't get his friend back.
He may have gotten a new friend, but this new friend is clearly annoying
and he's going back to the woods to be by himself again.
But he will see a mirror on Thursdays. Yeah.
(35:19):
Yeah, I mean, I'm with John.
I find this movie more on the uplifting side than than Joe.
I mean, like Joe ends because Gary is like, oh, I'm coming out
of the bad side of things and, you know,
life might not be totally shit.
Joe ends, you know, in a sad way, but sort of uplifting way to me.
And I don't know, I just feel optimistic for some reason.
(35:41):
It seems like her pig ends with me feeling more optimistic.
I think I think Peg has has a beautiful and it has just a beautiful,
beautiful story about like loss and just humanity and the people around us
and how we never lose them. I think it's about pig manatee, but that's
again, difference of opinion.
(36:07):
All right. So should we put it to the vote?
I mean, I'm never going to be, you know, I mean,
I'm never going to be unbiased about this.
Pig is my favorite film from this entire like thing we've done.
So it's hard for me to vote against that in this in this context.
And so when it comes down to like, what's a movie?
I'm going to suggest to most people.
(36:28):
It's going to be Pig more often than Joe,
and that I've suggested everyone I've talked to about Nicholas Cage watch pig.
Yeah, pigs got the.
I think the stronger script, the better performance,
better story.
I really like Joe, but everyone likes Joe, except that one guy.
(36:50):
Yeah, but he probably has reason.
He went through a windshield at four in the morning.
Yeah, and give a fuck.
But yeah, you know, I'm all for pig here.
It's it's a terrific film.
I love love watching it, and I would love other people to love watching it.
(37:12):
Next person who watches it.
Tell me if there's a pig noise at the end.
100% is a pig noise at the end.
All right. So so pig is the winner. Shocking.
Yeah, a huge development.
Events is it?
No.
Yeah, so people will be going up against either Wild at Heart or Vampire's Kiss,
which interesting head to head.
(37:35):
Yeah, it's going to start getting weird.
Yeah. I mean, next we're doing the weird movies, but I mean,
just the matchups are getting action versus comedy, serious versus weird.
I will say, OK, so going back to my weird like fucking brain fart
earlier in terms of like
Nicolas Cage's physical acting and just the presence he brings to a movie.
I have rethought my take on.
(37:58):
Conair and him not be necessary for that role.
Like, no, it just that that big dumb head needs to be is Cameron Powe.
Yep, there's no other poe.
Now, I'll admit what I'm wrong.
I guess.
This one thing I finally admit the truth.
Not primal, I will never admit that's good.
(38:21):
But you'll admit that it's necessary.
I will watch it again.
I do want to like I do want to watch it with you, Nick,
just because I think watching it alone for this was not the mindset to watch that in.
Well, you're in luck because I bring it with me everywhere I go.
There you go.
Nick is going to be over in 10 minutes. 15.
(38:44):
I'm on the bottom of Portland.
Yeah.
There you go. Well, you can come find us on social media at Cage underscore
match underscore pod or a Patreon at Cage match pod.
Thanks to our sparkle buddies, Josh, Sean, Josie, Rico, Matt, Adam and Bill
and to our cage dancers, Ira, John Freeman, Lance, Nathan and Cameron.
(39:05):
Who?
Not my best.
You can clean it up in post.
I won't.
Pigs have corkscrew penises.
That was ducks.
They do, too. Terrifying.
Yeah. Nature isn't so cool and unique.
(39:29):
Lots of animals have corkscrew penises.
Raccoons have a bone in their wiener.
Oh, the pig manatee.
I think.
Oh, my.
I.
I still think it would be great if Wallace and I did a horse costume
(39:53):
like team dress up
and he could be the the horse's head and I would be the horse's ass, but
he's only a foot tall, so it would be hilarious.
Yeah. Wallace is a dog.
No, I googled
(40:14):
Wenda to see if that was right.
And this is like one of the first images that showed up in the Google.
Video. Look at the thing.
So, dear listener, it is Wenda sitting on the toilet, waving happily.
Oh, good. I'm glad I didn't click on that.
(40:35):
That's lovely.
Yeah, I'm on hotel Wi-Fi.
I don't need them knowing I'm looking at that shit.
I think a rough one that would be like a lock the door
and everyone would have to suffer is dangerous.
Just so boring.
I mean, Zandily.
(40:57):
And it's it's like just in the middle of the most mid.
No, Zandily is a good secret one.
What you don't want to show anybody.
Yes, it's for me only.
That's my precious.
No, back.
Mid is the best way to describe Bangkok dangerous, like
y'all shat on it so much.
And I'm just like, this movie is so.
(41:21):
It is what it is, which is ultimately nothing.
Yeah, like it's not.
That's the problem.
It's not bad and it's not great.
It's just fucking.
It's just nothing.
It's lukewarm tap water.
It's yesterday's tap water.
Oh, God.
(00:05):
Oh, my God.
Look at how big my beer is.
Oh, it's so big.
(00:26):
I mean, compared to your head, which is ginormous,
that's a big bear.
At 32 ounces.
Whoo.
I just went and had
happy hour dinner and drinks with my coworker,
Alyssa, and we went to.
I mean, you know, since we're going to talk about pig today,
(00:46):
this is kind of fitting because we went to like
get fancy oysters and like fancy expensive food on happy hour
that I generally can't afford.
You went highfalutin.
Yeah, they had a really juicy like fucking White Castle Burger,
the steam burger
with like gourmet cheese.
Did it give you gourmet shits like a White Castle Burger?
(01:07):
We'll see. Only true form.
Yeah, exactly.
If we have to stop halfway through the podcast.
This is this podcast is now an unofficial race your body competition.
Now, the question is, were the little burgers, were they square?
Yes. Oh, OK.
Did they have the holes in them?
No, but it was steamed.
It was a cowards.
(01:27):
I do love a steamed ham.
I like when I ordered it because it was like the steamed burger
and I was getting like we were getting oysters and I was like, I'm like,
is this a Simpsons reference?
And then when I when they brought it out, I'm like, wait, no, White Castle.
This makes sense now.
What's the name of the joint you went to?
Canard.
(01:47):
This does sound highfalutin.
But no, it was it was super fancy.
They had the cheapest pens, though, like Alyssa and I both got our bills
and neither of our pens worked.
I respect the attention to craft.
And then the second place we went, they had a fondue.
And I'm like, oh, fun.
Don't mind if I do.
Exactly.
And they did not bring us little plates.
(02:08):
So I was precariously balancing dripping like hot cheese over my dress.
I'm like, this is this is less than ideal.
I'm going to leave an angry review on Yelp that no one will read.
Oh, that's weak.
You should have just let it drip and then use the bottom of the dress
to like wipe your face, showing everybody your Johnson.
(02:29):
Yeah, that's leveling up.
I mean, I'm wearing undergarments.
Coward, coward.
It's not a kilt.
It's also as Nick and I had discussed previously to you getting on Peter.
It's fucking cold down here.
You mean in your nether region or?
Yes.
Cold from inattention.
If I weren't wearing if I weren't wearing leggings
(02:51):
and I decided to give everyone a show, they wouldn't.
It would have been trivial.
There wouldn't have been much to say.
Not if that hand the waiter had gotten in there.
Soft waiter hands.
Yeah. That tip don't come cheap.
Monetary tip. My tip comes cheap.
I'm a cheap.
Yeah. Thank you for clarifying.
(03:11):
All right. Pig it is pig wins next episode.
OK, good. Thanks, guys.
Glad we postponed until today.
I have stuff to say.
I saved something new up in here for when we talk about Joe.
And we'll see if I remember it.
I had I had thoughts about
(03:32):
both of these movies in regards to Nicholas Cage.
I mean, that is what do we do here, Sean?
Welcome back to KG.
Matt Carlin around about Nicholas Cage.
I'm your host, Sean, here with my co-host Nick
and our producer Peter. Hello.
And this week might be the best setup to that bit we've ever done.
(03:53):
Yeah, actually.
I mean, I mean, it is I guess giving like the thesis,
which we should do anyway, and don't most of the time.
I'm hey, last episode, I didn't get into this till like the back 20 minutes.
Yeah, I liked it. It was good.
Yeah. Hey, I'm impressed that it only took us almost three years
to figure out how a podcast works.
(04:13):
And we're almost done.
I mean, we have most of it figured out.
You need microphones, I guess, headphones.
They're called cans in the business, Peter.
Love a good can.
I do, too.
I've got a folded towel, you know, just sitting here
at the ready, the waiter comes. Yeah.
So I can put it over my waist for, you know, discretion.
(04:35):
Yeah, it's modest. Yeah.
I'm not fucking Peewee Herman out here.
It's like that.
It's like that's something that baby
that you have to eat like with a sheet over your head to hide your shame.
Oh, yeah. The or to lawn. Yeah.
I know fancy food stuff.
Have you guys ever seen a duck press?
A duck breast.
(04:58):
Press P.R.E.S.S.
I'm like I'm imagining like a wine press, like a great press,
but for just with a bunch of ducks in it.
You like cook a duck and then you put it into this like medieval torture device
that has like a whole bunch of screws and like cranks.
And then it crushes and pulverizes the duck into a goo.
(05:21):
And then you I can't I think you cook it somehow more than that,
but I don't remember what else gets added to it.
And then you eat that.
It's like you. You had me at goo.
So it's like a shittier panini press.
God,
the press is already.
Yeah. But what if you could
(05:42):
liquefy your panini and eat it that way?
That be that might be an upgrade, honestly, to a panini.
That's just like how many of us have owned a panini press?
I've owned a George Foreman.
I mean, if you count a George Foreman grill
and then you just put a book on top of it and that's a panini press.
Yeah.
But can Hornback once told me that every like every sandwich should be paninied
(06:05):
a panini press makes every sandwich better.
And like the panini is the ultimate sandwich.
I'm like, do you have a panini press?
I'm like, and he said yes.
And I'm like, how many times have you used it?
He's like once I'm like, that's everyone who's ever owned a panini press.
Yeah. I mean, I think you could make a case
that like a toasted sandwich is potentially superior.
OK, hold on.
I want to say that Hornback using a kitchen appliance
(06:28):
even once validates his existence.
Nothing validates his existence.
Not his the panini press. Sorry.
The panini press. Yeah.
Was it this podcast or just a general
chicanery when we came up with the panini press?
That seems like an orc.
It was not.
It was not this podcast, but it does seem like an orc.
(06:50):
It's to get the ridges.
So on this podcast, we talk about Nicolas Cage movies.
Obviously, we started with a bracket of 64 films,
narrowed it down to 32, then the slicks teen.
Now we're in the master eight.
But you got to say it faster. The master eight.
(07:11):
I don't get it.
The waiter does.
Ah, there we go.
This week, we are discussing Pig V.
Joe, two movies that have three letters in the name.
And Beards.
He's got a he's got a sidekick.
He does have a sidekick in both.
It is kind of like a buddy movie in both cases.
And they both start star Nicolas Cage.
(07:33):
You know, it's kind of sad that I immediately just
I didn't think of a mirror.
I thought you were referring to handpan
as his kid sidekick.
You know, that kid who was in the movie for one scene.
I do love handpan.
What's a persimmon?
You fucking dumb kid.
Yeah.
Parents don't teach you anything anymore.
(07:56):
I still maintain that kid's going to wind up on a fucking bill card in one day.
Yeah, I mean, the total lack of stranger danger is pretty troubling.
Yeah. Yeah.
I mean, if a dude's in your backyard, he must be OK to talk to, though,
because why else would he be in your backyard?
I come across my fair share of unhoused people in the city, and
(08:18):
generally, they've all been quite polite.
There's only been one guy.
There's only been one guy.
He came in hot.
I got to a bar after a dinner thing, and pretty much as soon as I got in there,
the bar backslash bouncer just like ran into the bar,
like a lock in it behind him and like this other guy just like him
and like just slammed his hand against the glass and was like holding a
(08:40):
Where's Waldo book up to it?
Because he was excited about finding Waldo.
I don't know. We were told the guy has a knife.
He likes to show it to people and they're like, we're just not dealing with it
tonight. We're all like, they're not fair at all.
Yeah, I think that's a reasonable choice.
I want to see the knife, but I really I want to see if they found Waldo.
(09:00):
Oh, it's just that dickhead who circles Waldo and Sharpie on every page.
That shit bugs me.
Do it at the dentist's office.
Like, here you go, fuckers.
Yeah, we all we all know that Nick was more of an odd lot.
I do love odd law.
I also love finding the wizard.
What was the dog's name?
Wall dog dog.
(09:22):
Wait, say yours again, Sean.
Dog down.
I don't think that's a good word.
Yeah, obviously, it's a dill dog.
Now you're thinking of the dog from Dilbert.
Wolf, his name was Wolf.
That doesn't follow convention.
Dill dog. It does not.
What was Lady Waldo?
(09:43):
Wenda. Yeah, that's rough.
I'm pretty sure Waldo and Wenda are the same person.
Waldo does have kind of an its pat sort of vibe.
Yeah, I'm looking at I'm looking at a side by side right now.
I mean, I'm the last person that can, you know,
fucking throw stones in this in regards to this.
Yeah, for real.
I think I found our next Halloween costume group.
(10:05):
Halloween costume.
Make it a solo costume and just keep leaving the room and changing.
It always bugs me when large groups of people all dress up as Waldo
to go out on Halloween.
No, you all dress up as almost Waldo.
You have one person dressed fully as Waldo.
But everybody wants to be Waldo, then
only one person gets to be Waldo, then.
(10:26):
Yeah, that's the bit.
Well, I don't think I want to do this costume with you.
All right. Let's just all go as a hornback.
I do want to do that costume.
I want to be two hornbacks in a horse costume.
We have to both show up as horse butts.
Yes.
I love this movie.
I absolutely adore this movie.
(10:46):
Still, to this day,
I don't I don't have much else to say about it other than it's great.
It continues to be great.
Yeah. One of these days, I want to try.
I mean, this doesn't have to be anything, but I just want to make the food from pig.
Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's a great idea.
If it makes it to the the final two,
(11:06):
we should have that be served at the movie theater. Sure.
But only one item, Amir's disappointing French toast.
It's like, sorry, I don't cook much.
Yeah, exactly.
Set off the set off the smoke detector.
I was just going to bring one.
I'll take a baguette.
Yeah, actually.
So the journey of pig, it first went up against left behind.
(11:29):
Left behind.
Maybe we got that one wrong.
No, we did not.
That movie is so terrible.
I was thinking about that because I was re listening to the episode.
And the only thing that was funny about that was that
Nick got to make a lot of left behind jokes.
And she was left behind.
(11:49):
Oh, yeah, that that never gets old.
I, you know, honestly, I like thinking back on left behind,
like all the weird piles of clothes and like the way she like
took her brother's clothes and backpack and was like carrying it around.
Like it was going to rehydrate into him or some shit.
(12:11):
Yeah. And like all the clothes, like falling out of the sky
in the mall or whatever, like as if everybody was like,
Oh, I'm getting raptured.
Now is the time for me to jump off this like sky bridge
and like, Oh, pants.
Woohoo.
It's raining pants.
(12:32):
I just think it's the parents who really didn't like those kids.
And all of a sudden, these kids are gone and they're celebrating.
They're just like, yes.
They chuck the stuff in the.
Yeah. Fuck your pants, dad.
I'm just thinking about how
detrimental actual Christians
who aren't assholes that would actually get raptured.
(12:54):
And I don't think it's as many as Thanos's snap would take out.
I don't think the economy will.
It's definitely not 50 percent of the world, so.
Yeah, that's a pretty high.
Plus, his snap was universal.
Yeah, but we're America.
We don't care about that.
America first.
(13:14):
We always get raptured.
What if God had it wrong
or like had a speech impediment and instead of rapturing everybody,
he raptured everybody and we all got turned into raptors.
This is a Chuck Tingle situation.
I am 100 percent here for that religion.
(13:35):
We've just you have just invented a new religion.
Guys, Chuck Tingle is going to be at Emerald City Comic Con this year.
So if you need to like go meet Chuck Tingle.
That's the time to do it.
Love is real.
That's what he says.
(13:55):
I think I've only listened to his podcast once or twice.
It's pretty hilarious.
So let's see, what is your favorite meal from Pig?
Maybe the shitty takeout food that he gives to Edgar.
I don't know that.
What was that thing he made that in the first one?
The result of the rustic tart.
(14:16):
It does look pretty good.
Yeah, that looks that looks pretty good.
I want that.
Yeah, I don't want to have to like live in a dirty cabin to make it.
Like if I can just make them at home, that'd be great.
Wouldn't be rustic.
I mean, you could just start a fire in your courtyard and cook it out there.
You do have to have hands washed only loosely in a river.
Soaps overrated.
(14:39):
That's all the friction.
I have an immune system.
Get that waiter over here.
What's it good for if I'm not putting it to work every once in a while?
Need me some friction.
Yeah. You need that.
That farmer friend.
Yeah, those callous hands will just blast the dirt right off.
I need your help starting a fire.
Yeah, just rub this stick between your palms.
(15:02):
Oh, yeah, I just.
One of those until just sparks.
Let's see.
So it one of the things left behind the frozen ground and eight millimeters.
Frozen ground.
Rest in ground is.
Yeah, that wasn't too bad for like
just a Nicolas Cage, quote unquote, thriller or whatever.
(15:26):
Like in retrospect, it's like maybe a C plus as a film goes.
Yeah. Oh, yeah.
But in terms of things that got eliminated, it wasn't that bad.
No, it was pretty decent overall.
And I mean, it did have 50 Cent in the wig, which is.
Oh, hell yeah.
I forgot about that.
I mean, eight millimeter really.
(15:47):
I mean, we talked about this got by as far as it did because of its matchups.
Not that it doesn't deserve to be remembered fondly, but.
Yeah, I actually it kind of has grown on me in retrospect to like
I think you guys liked it more than I did.
And I've thought about that movie more than I thought that I would.
Yeah, it's a I, you know, I still enjoy eight millimeter.
(16:10):
It's one that I would rewatch.
In the right mood, but
which I don't know what the mood is for watching.
You got to be in a Dino Dino velvet.
Yeah, I got to want to hear like a lot of background,
a effects twin and whatnot.
I mean, so what's interesting to me is like Pig, obviously, is a very good movie.
(16:33):
It's well regarded by everybody.
It's very well regarded by us.
It wasn't like a surprise necessarily, even though I think it's a surprise
that we loved it as much as we did.
And that sort of grew over time.
I think that its path to this point has been kind of easy.
Yeah, but.
It's also good, so clearly it deserved.
(16:53):
It was what, like a one seed for us.
Yeah. Yeah.
So it's the only one seed left in the race.
Yeah, correct. Yeah.
It hasn't had any challenges up until theoretically this week.
Yeah.
Joe. Yeah, Joe was much more hard fought to get here
(17:15):
because Joe went up against some like good things.
Joe's path was tough.
I mean, I'm biased because I thought Zanderle was.
I love Zanderle.
Not saying Zanderle isn't great.
Didn't deserve to go forward.
No, it didn't deserve to go forward over.
Joe. There's no world where Zanderle comes out, came out of this on top.
(17:37):
Yeah. Just like in that movie.
I don't think Zanderle was a top at all.
But remember Steve Buscemi? Yeah.
And then.
I forgot. I forgot.
I was forgetting that movie.
Kind of like in Conair. Boo.
I can't make a make an argument for him in Zanderle.
I think he's just in it for some reason.
(17:59):
Yeah, he's just like a guy on a work crew.
Pretty much right.
No, he's on like work release or something.
And then he runs away.
Yeah. Yeah, that makes sense.
Steals the TV.
Yeah.
Maybe it's Garland Green.
Maybe it's Garland Green.
So yeah, Zanderle and then it went up against bringing out the dead.
And then.
(18:20):
Great movie. Yeah, totally.
And then leaving Las Vegas.
Also great movie.
Also a movie that you have to be in a really specific mindset to watch.
Yeah, I mean, I stand by the decision to have Joe go over that one.
I think it's a great movie in general, but mostly because of the performance.
You know, like I just don't want to watch that movie ever again.
Oh, my God. If I never have to hear Sting
(18:42):
start that damn song and never finish it.
That is sort of his M.O.
Oh, man.
Never stop, never stopping.
Fucking sting with his non-complete agreements.
Yeah. How was watching Joe?
How was watching Joe again this time?
I really liked it. Like I said, oh, I did notice.
(19:04):
Did did you guys ever acknowledge how fucking short that other cop is in the background?
Like when Earl is releasing Joe and Sting,
and then there was a cop bringing in another guy, he's like five foot flat.
Like this guy is fucking small.
(19:24):
Oh, man. Now I want to watch like kind of in the scene.
And then you see him in the background, like booking somebody
and he looks like a bald child.
Holy shit, that guy is really short.
He's like the guy he's escorting is like three feet taller than him.
(19:45):
Oh, dip. Yeah.
Yeah, that guy is tiny.
I mean, what was the director on Joe again?
David Gordon Green.
I mean, he does have that thing for just like extras, just being, you know.
Oh, yeah.
(20:05):
It's pretty interesting.
I really like that about him.
And I mean, I think things have changed because now he's like directing
the Halloween series and stuff like that, which is sort of strange.
But his original like take was basically like
slices of Americana and real life people and sort of like
the normal version of David Lynch.
(20:26):
How big is his head?
Not that big. Oh.
I mean, the thing that always stands out
in this movie to me is just the physicality of Nicholas Cage in this film.
He is a fucking brick shithouse.
He looks natural at that size.
Yeah, I agree.
I remember the point I was going to make earlier that I completely forgot.
(20:48):
It's just like.
There's always that like view of like Nicholas Cage is this crazy guy,
which, you know, fucking he is.
But like, I feel like in this is in like the serious category
that we've set him up in specifically is where I don't know if it's the directors.
I don't know if it's just the roles he's picked for these.
But like, there's so much more of a commitment to so many of these characters.
(21:10):
And like, you really see the character actor work in like these
and this category of the bracket.
In a way that I don't feel like you see.
Outside of like maybe a weatherman.
Certainly in the movies we've chosen to move forward,
I would not say he committed much to left behind.
(21:33):
You could say that his performance was left behind.
Left behind those reach.
And I'm sorry.
It was it's OK.
Are you me?
Welcome back to Cage match.
Colin, round about with.
This cage.
You know, I mean, but then, you know, he's also been in like
(21:53):
Captain Correlli's Mandolin, which he committed to.
Sure, but that was kind of a goofy or film or a goofier role in that film.
I don't miss that movie.
I don't know that it's going to make a natural appearance in my life, but
it was fine.
Maybe a C minus.
(22:15):
I know I feel like for when we do the the double feature finale,
we need to just go like find a loose bargain bin of DVDs
and just put one under every seat.
Just a grab bag of miscellaneous.
Nick Cage DVDs.
I said we just lock the doors
and make everyone watch Captain Correlli's Mandolin so they can suffer like we did.
OK, that's an interesting question that we're going to sidebar on.
(22:38):
What movie other than Captain Correlli's?
What two movies would you force everyone to watch that suck?
You just say 100 percent you get so.
It's a doublehead doubleheader of jujitsu twice and then jujitsu twice.
(22:59):
I don't Captain Correlli's.
It's got it's got charming moments.
It's got the beach scene.
It's got like it's got fun little moments.
It's got him like not playing the mandolin for an extended period of time
because he has to wait for the like the horn section.
Boy, I know I would throw Primal in there.
(23:22):
Boy, I want to say
army of one would come back.
Yeah, I mean, my pick is definitely Prisoners of the Ghosts land.
Yeah, Gavanna Gavanna.
I I will always be ready for that.
I am so ready to show that I've after doing this for like
(23:45):
two more years, I am ready to like just go back to that.
I think another one that I would put into the conversation
just because it still makes me laugh so much now is next.
It's like that movie sucks.
It's so bad, but like it is pretty fun and fun.
It's the most exploding Jessica Alba's of any film,
(24:05):
which is zero of those Beals.
Yeah. Oh, yes.
You know, I would be excited for some drive angry also
that that scene of him like, yeah,
getting laid and drinking
and then getting into a gunfight while still getting laid was just too good.
I mean,
(24:27):
all right. So let's see, Joe.
My favorite scene still has got to be the the.
I mean, it's just so funny and it's so stupid
and I hadn't remembered until re listening to the podcast
that when they go and talk to that lady about the dog,
they're both just making the cool face.
And I'm like, also very drunk.
(24:49):
It's like that is so funny to me.
Just like, what did that lady think?
It's a dog that looks like a cow.
Well, lots of dogs can look like cows.
I just love how
Joe is just hitting on that lady, too.
So I go call me sometime.
(25:11):
Oh, yeah.
They're going to write my number on this beer can.
This is a drunk adolescent wanders around in your front yard.
Don't worry about it. He's cool.
And then she's like, ask scary if he's
if he's driving
because clearly Joe was too drunk.
(25:36):
It is really good.
This movie is really good.
The chemistry between
Ty Sheridan and Nicholas Cage is terrific.
Yeah, I mean, I think that's really what it hinges on.
Right. Like if you had a crappier teenage actor
or a not Nick Cage in this role, I just don't think it plays the same.
(25:56):
I was I was coming into this kind of ready to be like, I don't like
Nick Cage is great in this,
but I was kind of ready to come into this just with
I don't know that this movie necessarily hinges on it being the cage,
but I just have like IMDb open up right now.
And I'm just watching like little vignettes of
(26:17):
Joe just out of the corner of my eye and just
every look, every just little like every little just Nick Cage,
just Nick Cage smoking a cigarette.
And I'm like, no, it has that it has to be that face.
It has to be that fucking guy.
I don't think that people really.
Understand it and appreciate.
(26:38):
How good of a physical actor he is.
It's only something I'm coming to really kind of appreciate
several hundreds of hours into this experiment. Yeah.
Yeah. His Nicholas Cage's physical performances are terrific.
I think that's I mean,
that's kind of like what his whole deal hinges on, like all of his freak outs,
(27:01):
like their big physical things
that tie into the emotional experience that he's providing.
But his physicality is just on point.
And everything from like.
Yeah. On in 60 seconds.
Let's ride.
(27:23):
To the fucking
ghost rider.
But I mean, even beyond just like the like the Meeble below is
I'm just looking at the cover of Joe and just like, yeah,
the way he just holds his body, just like
it's so good.
It's like so many minor things that like the shadow of
(27:45):
Nick Cage, the crazy man, I feel like really
covers up like for most people how good he really is at his job.
Yeah.
Let's see any other new thoughts on Joe
from either listening back to us or from watching it a fresh time.
I'm still not.
(28:05):
And this is just a personal like.
Personal gripe.
I'm still not really sold on just like
getting a bunch of not actors to ad lib a bunch of lines.
Oh yeah, like the workers and stuff.
A lot of the like talk around Joe and just the Joe.
Yeah, just Joe like them saying Joe for every other word.
I'm just like.
Yeah. And that's certainly far more
(28:27):
evident when you've got subtitles on
because when it's just background pattern, it's whatever.
They do say his name a lot.
But I some of it I enjoy because,
well, I've worked with people just like them.
And so like the whole Slim Jim and Salami conversation.
(28:49):
Yeah, that gets me.
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Some really funny, good ad lib stuff from that.
Yeah. And I know like I know it's all meant to like
show a bit like a much more kind of like real feeling
and down to earth thing.
But I can, you know, suspend disbelief.
So it just like it just distracts me from other things.
(29:12):
And again, that's a personal gripe and.
Toned it down and cleaned up art a little bit of it.
Just made it more background,
but didn't have to be so direct. Yeah.
Yeah, I think the only other thing about this movie
that I like probably would change or reduce or adjust a little bit
is his relationship with that woman who comes and stays with him
(29:34):
for a period of time, like doesn't do enough for me.
Yeah. And then she's just sort of gone.
I still yeah, I mean, I think that just goes to show like
this is just who he is to a lot of people. For sure.
Even Tye Sheridan, he's just like he's just the one guy
who kind of has his shit together, who feels responsible for it.
(29:55):
It seems like the only person he like, aside from Gary,
the only person he ever had any kind of like desire
to be around was Merle.
So just in regards to like getting here and just these kind of being
the culmination of like what we've determined are his like serious films.
(30:19):
I think in regards to like what comedy wound up being, you know,
there's a he said a lot of those probably could have worked their way in here.
I don't know. Both these movies are so good for just.
His gravitas.
Like I said earlier, I don't know if it's the director
or just how much he cares about like these roles
that just bring out these performances.
(30:41):
I like I thought about
the interview where he talks about doing Spider-Verse.
Now he kept doing the lines and, you know, the director's like,
give me more, give me more and tell eventually like,
oh, you just want me to go full neck cage.
You're just like, so on, he, you know, he's in on it.
But like when we get those like really zany performances,
(31:03):
it seems maybe at this point in his career, like a little more like.
That's what he's hired to do that.
Yeah. Well, I mean, that was something that came up.
God, I hate having to reference this in G-Force when
he was like, oh, I can be anybody.
I'll be the mole because then I can use a different voice.
And I don't I don't have to just be Nicolas Cage. I can.
(31:28):
I can be. Speckles. Yeah.
Fuck.
Speckles. Yeah.
The nodes. Nudes.
That is also a movie I end up thinking about more than I should.
They fucking cry.
(31:48):
Oh, you know, I was fucking I was in the gym the other day,
and I cannot stop just juggling about the crude.
Fucking the punch monkeys.
Punch monkey scene is great.
I still I love that clip of them just shoveling food into their gobs.
I was thinking about.
I completely forgot that we ever watched that movie.
(32:09):
And I know.
I'm always a fucking.
I mean, that makes sense.
That's fine.
Just say so much to say that the movie slaps
is an insult to movies that indeed slap.
Well, it slaps and it punches and it kicks.
Well, not.
(32:29):
Probably.
Not as bad as G Force, but.
I'm still surprised, though, with like those like family animated films
that like he still comes hard in the recording booth.
That's a quite a sentence, Sean.
I'm going, oh, you you want a full Nick Cage?
(32:52):
All right.
So did you have other comparative thoughts for Joe and Pig?
They both have.
Food.
They're both depressing, but end up lifting.
I mean, yeah, neither of them end well for Nicholas Cage.
I don't I don't feel like he's come out ahead on either one.
(33:16):
I think he comes out ahead and pay.
He makes a friend.
He has he's kind of like gets to process.
Yeah, he's processing a little bit of his trauma.
Yeah, I mean, he comes out the other side.
OK, so if say.
If Pete died,
but I made another friend who was going to talk and be annoying.
(33:41):
Does that make me come out ahead?
Maybe Pete's the wrong one to if if somebody we all like to died,
but you got to have one other friend.
Yeah.
And then we hot swapped them out.
If Pete died.
Clearly, Pete is the pig in this situation.
(34:03):
I don't think just getting a new friend means he comes out.
He also gets a new pig.
He doesn't get in.
He hasn't gotten a new pig.
What isn't that like at the end?
You hear you hear you hear a new pig.
That's a that's a weird thing to say about Bruce Springsteen.
(34:27):
Yeah, I don't think he gets a new pig at the end,
like he might get a pig in the future, but
he never needed the pig.
Like not at the end of the film, but like he does get another pig eventually.
Like they allude to that.
This is like learning about Smalls's fake backstory from Nick.
Yeah, except for Smalls's fake backstory was fucking good.
(34:54):
I think you've.
Found more in it than I did,
because the way I see it is he didn't get his friend back.
He may have gotten a new friend, but this new friend is clearly annoying
and he's going back to the woods to be by himself again.
But he will see a mirror on Thursdays. Yeah.
(35:19):
Yeah, I mean, I'm with John.
I find this movie more on the uplifting side than than Joe.
I mean, like Joe ends because Gary is like, oh, I'm coming out
of the bad side of things and, you know,
life might not be totally shit.
Joe ends, you know, in a sad way, but sort of uplifting way to me.
And I don't know, I just feel optimistic for some reason.
(35:41):
It seems like her pig ends with me feeling more optimistic.
I think I think Peg has has a beautiful and it has just a beautiful,
beautiful story about like loss and just humanity and the people around us
and how we never lose them. I think it's about pig manatee, but that's
again, difference of opinion.
(36:07):
All right. So should we put it to the vote?
I mean, I'm never going to be, you know, I mean,
I'm never going to be unbiased about this.
Pig is my favorite film from this entire like thing we've done.
So it's hard for me to vote against that in this in this context.
And so when it comes down to like, what's a movie?
I'm going to suggest to most people.
(36:28):
It's going to be Pig more often than Joe,
and that I've suggested everyone I've talked to about Nicholas Cage watch pig.
Yeah, pigs got the.
I think the stronger script, the better performance,
better story.
I really like Joe, but everyone likes Joe, except that one guy.
(36:50):
Yeah, but he probably has reason.
He went through a windshield at four in the morning.
Yeah, and give a fuck.
But yeah, you know, I'm all for pig here.
It's it's a terrific film.
I love love watching it, and I would love other people to love watching it.
(37:12):
Next person who watches it.
Tell me if there's a pig noise at the end.
100% is a pig noise at the end.
All right. So so pig is the winner. Shocking.
Yeah, a huge development.
Events is it?
No.
Yeah, so people will be going up against either Wild at Heart or Vampire's Kiss,
which interesting head to head.
(37:35):
Yeah, it's going to start getting weird.
Yeah. I mean, next we're doing the weird movies, but I mean,
just the matchups are getting action versus comedy, serious versus weird.
I will say, OK, so going back to my weird like fucking brain fart
earlier in terms of like
Nicolas Cage's physical acting and just the presence he brings to a movie.
I have rethought my take on.
(37:58):
Conair and him not be necessary for that role.
Like, no, it just that that big dumb head needs to be is Cameron Powe.
Yep, there's no other poe.
Now, I'll admit what I'm wrong.
I guess.
This one thing I finally admit the truth.
Not primal, I will never admit that's good.
(38:21):
But you'll admit that it's necessary.
I will watch it again.
I do want to like I do want to watch it with you, Nick,
just because I think watching it alone for this was not the mindset to watch that in.
Well, you're in luck because I bring it with me everywhere I go.
There you go.
Nick is going to be over in 10 minutes. 15.
(38:44):
I'm on the bottom of Portland.
Yeah.
There you go. Well, you can come find us on social media at Cage underscore
match underscore pod or a Patreon at Cage match pod.
Thanks to our sparkle buddies, Josh, Sean, Josie, Rico, Matt, Adam and Bill
and to our cage dancers, Ira, John Freeman, Lance, Nathan and Cameron.
(39:05):
Who?
Not my best.
You can clean it up in post.
I won't.
Pigs have corkscrew penises.
That was ducks.
They do, too. Terrifying.
Yeah. Nature isn't so cool and unique.
(39:29):
Lots of animals have corkscrew penises.
Raccoons have a bone in their wiener.
Oh, the pig manatee.
I think.
Oh, my.
I.
I still think it would be great if Wallace and I did a horse costume
(39:53):
like team dress up
and he could be the the horse's head and I would be the horse's ass, but
he's only a foot tall, so it would be hilarious.
Yeah. Wallace is a dog.
No, I googled
(40:14):
Wenda to see if that was right.
And this is like one of the first images that showed up in the Google.
Video. Look at the thing.
So, dear listener, it is Wenda sitting on the toilet, waving happily.
Oh, good. I'm glad I didn't click on that.
(40:35):
That's lovely.
Yeah, I'm on hotel Wi-Fi.
I don't need them knowing I'm looking at that shit.
I think a rough one that would be like a lock the door
and everyone would have to suffer is dangerous.
Just so boring.
I mean, Zandily.
(40:57):
And it's it's like just in the middle of the most mid.
No, Zandily is a good secret one.
What you don't want to show anybody.
Yes, it's for me only.
That's my precious.
No, back.
Mid is the best way to describe Bangkok dangerous, like
y'all shat on it so much.
And I'm just like, this movie is so.
(41:21):
It is what it is, which is ultimately nothing.
Yeah, like it's not.
That's the problem.
It's not bad and it's not great.
It's just fucking.
It's just nothing.
It's lukewarm tap water.
It's yesterday's tap water.
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