October 16, 2023 • 46 mins
Imagine a life where past traumas shape your future relationships and your faith becomes your ultimate fortress of strength. This is the story of Elizabeth Stewart- Williams, a woman who has turned her challenging personal experiences into a powerful testimony of faith and resilience.
Her relationship experiences took a turn when she found herself in a marriage riddled with manipulation and narcissism. Elizabeth's struggle through her marriage and her courage to identify the abusive patterns is a conversation that unfolds in this episode. Through her story, we delve into the importance of recognizing the signs of abuse and the role faith plays in overcoming these adversities. We also reflect on Elizabeth's strength in the face of emotional abuse and how her faith in God's will helped in her healing journey. Truly, Elizabeth's story is a testament to the power of resilience and the healing grace of faith.
Plan of Salvation:
- Hear: Romans 10:17
- Believe: Hebrews 11:6
- Repent: Acts 17:30-31
- Confess: Matthew 10:32
- Be Baptized: Mark 16:15-16
- Be faithful unto death: Revelation 2:10
You can support the show by donating in 3 ways:
Contact Information:
Elizabeth Stewart-Williams, MDR
Website: www.iamprose.org
Email: elizabeth@iamprose.org
Phone: 713.820.6833/ 469.390.9024
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Twitter: https://twitter.com/CalledbyGodPod
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
And you have to understand during this whole
timeframe, from the time that Igot married, I was dumb, stupid
ugly.
You couldn't cuss at me becauseI would go off, but any other
name you could think of, that'show he would come at me.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
Welcome to the Call by God podcast with Adne Godin
and myself, nixon Sylvain.
This show is about dialogues ofbiblical characters and
testimonies of Christians whosubmitted to the will of God.
Each week, we bring on oneguest so that they can share
their story of how they werecalled by God.
I hope this show inspires you.
(00:40):
Enjoy Hello world.
Welcome to another week ofElizabeth Stewart Williams
testimony.
Hope you enjoyed this episode.
So sit back and enjoy the ride.
Be blessed, you know, because Ihave a question that I want to
ask.
I think it's going to blesssomebody, because I know you've
(01:01):
been violated, because I have asibling that's been violated as
well.
And so my sister.
She took the other direction.
She decided that she likedwomen.
So, instead of because she feltlike she couldn't be with any
men because of what happened toher when she was young, she's
like okay, I'm going left, Idon't want to deal with no men.
And for you, on the other hand,you knew who you was as a
(01:25):
Christian.
You believe that it was a testwhere some women and there's,
you know, people deal with theirsituation different, where you
might have a woman or a girlthat decided to sleep with
multiple men because she's beenviolated.
She's like okay, well, I'm goingto sleep with anybody and have
different baby daddies.
So you took a differentapproach, which I like about
your story and I know you'vegotten to a relationship, you
(01:47):
know with your husband.
But I want to know, like, howdid he win you over?
How did you not, how did younot like, have that?
Look, I've been, you know, Ialready went through what I went
through and I wanted to trustno man.
Or was it because he had theimage of a Christian or Christ
like, or?
I want you to explain thatbecause I want people to really
(02:08):
understand this.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
He worked, he had to work.
So like, for instance, when Isay, like he showed up at
worship, it wasn't like you'renot just going to talk to me.
That's how I was, like you'renot just going to talk to me,
right, he will come, like hewill come, hey, you know.
(02:34):
And then, at the same time, Ialso was introduced to him at
one point, but I was still likeit's me and Jesus, like I'm good
, walking with him, right, hewas, he was, show, he would show
up, he would show up at, foundout where I worked, show up at
(02:54):
my job.
I have roses.
He show up, show up.
Yeah, like it was.
It wasn't he put in some work,he found out, found out where my
dad, my dad, was preaching ator where he was teaching at.
He show up there, he showed.
He even took my mom a groceryshopping.
(03:15):
Like he, he put in some workand it it took some and lived,
lived at the church.
We lived there, we lived there.
Actually, he was baptized bysome of the pioneers in the
church.
We were having a crusade forChrist and who was at his, was
(03:38):
at the baptism, was brother,brother Maxwell, brother Evans,
brother who brother?
Pretty much, pretty much anyonemajor that you could think of
in the body, because it was bodyof Christ in in Houston and he
got, he got baptized.
That talk he was taught by bythe great, what you would
(04:02):
consider the greats right, yeah,no, he put that work in.
Speaker 2 (04:08):
All right, so you could.
You could talk about now whenhe said because you made me wait
, I'm going to make you wait,I'm waiting.
Speaker 1 (04:14):
It was no.
So I, I called my mom and Isaid, hey, it's not going to
work, this ain't going to work,right, because?
And then I was because of whatI, especially because of what I
went through, I was in no likeif I saw signs like I'm out,
that's what it was Like.
(04:35):
Okay, you going to act this way, be blessed.
I wish you well and on yourjourney, and I'm out.
You know what I'm saying.
I didn't play, oh, I, I so.
But here it is, my mother issitting here telling me you
didn't just marry him, youmarried, you married God.
(04:56):
And because I understood whatthat meant.
So what that meant was becauseI married, I married to God, I
got to, I got to put in the work, because true love works, it's
a work that goes into that.
And so my mom asked me a seriesof questions.
(05:17):
Did he put his hands on you?
Did he do this?
Did he do that?
No, no, no.
She said, okay, well, yourbetter is not here.
You just started on your worst.
And I, I cried, I cried and Iwas like why?
(05:38):
And that goes back to thatquestion, why?
And then it from there.
It from there was like a Inever had a honeymoon period.
I don't know what that is.
When people talk about that,I'm like that's cute, don't know
what that is.
It was.
It was a turbulent.
That's when I found outeverything that was presented in
(06:00):
premarital.
That was a lot.
What was presented was straightfront, like it was.
I was like wait a minute.
So you, because I didn't haveany debt, you know, the only
thing I had was student loans.
I didn't, I didn't use creditcards Like I'm, I'm, you know.
(06:22):
I saw I'm sitting here lookinglike wait a minute.
So that's not your account,that's your dad's account.
They have the same name.
So how much credit did you like?
So what's going on?
You know, everything was a lie.
Everything, down to down to thecar.
Everything was a lie and it waslike okay, how do I move from
(06:49):
this guy?
Because I couldn't trustanything, like even like I could
not trust anything.
He would do stuff like we hadwe had a joint account together.
He would take, take all themoney out of the account.
He would take all their moneyout of the account.
(07:12):
There was an incident where hewas like the, the, the setup or
the way that it was set up, wasthere was someone, there was
someone else that was supposedto handle the family accounts
and I was supposed to give themtheir, their checks which was
his mom at the time and I waslike, no, that's not going to
(07:34):
happen.
It was, it was if, I, if, if,if, if you could take that
moment and put it in a movie, itwould be unbelievable.
And it was like, oh my, like Isaid, what in?
So you don't have, you don'thave your own account, you don't
(07:55):
have this, you don't have that.
No, didn't have any of that.
So everything that waspresented to me was a lie and I
literally was like I, I.
At one point I was like God,just take me, just take me,
because what is this, what isthis?
(08:18):
So I'm struggling with not onlythe from the physical
perspective, but then also thefinancial.
It would be stuff like our firstyear of marriage.
We went through like twoapartments.
What we, what?
What we would go through islike I would literally go to
work and I would come back homeand he's moved us out of the
whole, out of the wholeapartment, and I didn't, I
(08:40):
didn't know.
And I'm coming home to like anote saying, hey, we've moved,
come to this address, and so Iwould go to the address and I
got people clapping and saying,oh, this is so sweet, y'all are
in a new place.
So he would move me and we moveto a new apartment.
And we'd be in a new apartment,a new place.
(09:02):
He did that with my vehicles.
I had a truck.
I had was was we had just areabout to pay that truck off
right.
Took my truck in he wassupposed to get an oil change on
it.
Took my truck, got to, got nowhe would get the car that I like
.
So I love the jack.
(09:22):
He got the jack, but then guesswho.
But so he picked me up.
I'm coming there all outsideclapping, and at that time you
don't, you don't, or.
What I was taught was you don'tembarrass your husband or you
don't have conversations, areyou?
What you do is privately.
You'll talk later.
(09:43):
But if I know what I know now,I would have been like I'm not
signing for that, right.
But they all came out clapping.
All you have to do is sign hereand it's yours.
And I'm looking like what isthis?
That's a $700 car note.
Why would I do that?
But that's the stuff that hedid.
And so throughout my marriage.
(10:05):
It was almost like we movedmultiple times.
It got to the point where I gotto the point where I say you
know what?
You can't do this again.
Like, if you do this to getlike I'm going to be living,
like we need to be a part of it.
And it was.
It was a literal work.
It was like I would tell God,okay, god, like, because I don't
, I don't, I don't know how todo, I don't know how to do this,
(10:28):
and you have to walk me throughit because I'm when, I'm angry.
But then too, it's like I'membarrassed, like I don't know
what's going on.
And it was it every, every step, with something new of drama
every step.
And it was just like what inthe world?
(10:49):
And so it got to the point.
There were times like he madewhat he determined what he made,
so he worked, he worked for therailroad, so he determined what
he made, and he, he, he wasn'tgoing to work.
So it got to the point where wewere just living off of me and
(11:14):
I'm coming home to evictionnotices on our door and I'm like
like what is this Right?
So again we're, we're steadystead, things are steady,
happening that.
I'm like what.
So I don't know what a hun.
So my first, my first two years,was like a.
(11:39):
It was like a horror movie andI'm like stressed, like went
from one.
But God, this is a thing Godwould bless me from.
So I was a paralegal.
I was supposed to go to lawschool but I put that off.
So as a paralegal, I went fromone law firm God bless me to get
(12:05):
a position with the federalgovernment.
So I learned this.
So I learned in differentsectors what type of law?
Because I said, okay, I'll justtake this time to determine
what type of lawyer I wanted tobe, because that was the idea.
But, um, but God, so heprogressed me in that way.
(12:26):
But he got to the point towhere it was like it was.
It was so stressful and it waslike, okay, like I need to get
out of here.
So it was like my.
After we were together almosttwo years and I said I just
can't do it.
And people are telling me youknow you can't divorce.
(12:47):
And he would always tell methis you can't divorce, I
haven't cheated and I will tellanybody, anybody who tells you
that run, because that meansthey are Right.
So he would tell me all thetime.
You can't.
He.
He knew it was bad.
You can't, you can't goanywhere.
I haven't cheated when it gotreally heavy.
(13:10):
I come home to a note and he'scompletely moved the home and
I'm in another apartment andthey're outside clapping and he
had that much Because I'mlooking like how are you able to
do it?
It's my credit, like how areyou able to do it?
But during that time frame, theway that they looked at credit
(13:31):
was, you know, especially ify'all were married, like you
could take my social and put itwith my husband.
It wouldn't even.
It wouldn't even show up on my,on my credit report.
It would show up on his.
You would have to run thenumber.
And so I mean, I went throughit.
So finally, at one point camehome, it was in Viction.
(13:51):
Notice he playing video games.
I'm like I'm this, is it Like I,like we just need it in this.
And I was like I guess I'm justgoing to be single for the rest
of my life.
Because that's why everybodywas like you can't, you know, do
this.
And now that I those portionsof the scripture.
So this is the thing my parentstaught me.
(14:13):
They taught me clearly how togo back to the scriptures and
study for myself Some things youknow you get lazy with at times
and you don't, you don't you?
Just, you know, pick up whatpeople say, but when you're
going through it, you shouldtake the time to really look at
what the scriptures are sayingso that it can apply
(14:36):
appropriately to your life.
So during that timeframe,honestly we should have
separated, because if we were toseparate it, I feel like I
would have found out more, buteverybody was telling me you
can't do that, which was it true?
We are curious.
Speaker 2 (14:53):
I'm curious.
I'm curious, I'm sorry I got toask you this question Because
I've been married for 10 yearsnow and again, like I said, I
got a real crowd out here and Iknow they someone out there
saying, like, nick, you got toask them.
You got to ask them questionBecause we know when people come
together except the Lord builda house, they labor and they
have to build it.
You know when we this issomething that we tell people as
(15:13):
Christians like marry somebodythat's Christian, build a
foundation.
And I know somebody that likesand like, wow, they did
everything right, she's aChristian, he's a Christian,
they got God.
It's supposed to work.
But we know, as marriage, we'regoing to have our ups and downs
.
But, man, where was God in thisand how did?
Did you guys even try to cometogether to resolve it?
Like, walk us through that,because somebody might be going
through it right now.
(15:34):
They need to know.
Speaker 1 (15:35):
It wasn't an authentic, I would say and I
don't want to so much so speakto where he was but an inaction.
Okay, so in action, it was notan authentic love for Christ
that I believe he possessed, anauthentic love, so one that's
(16:01):
balanced, and then, of course,we'll get to types of narcissism
, but one that's authentic isone that is like your desire and
your goal is to really try todo what God has called you to do
when you're authentic in it,but when you're about
(16:24):
manipulation and getting over itdoesn't matter.
So that part doesn't, itdoesn't, doesn't even register.
Actually, the joy is I got over, like I was able to get by
verses, and I think that's thething that people have to, you
(16:44):
know, marry people a lot oftimes are quick to say you know
you got to do this, this, thisand this, but you don't
understand.
You really got to look at theantenna of the person that
you're with.
So I like, if I told this samescenario excuse me, if I told
(17:06):
the same scenario with someonewho was really desiring to have
a relationship with God, thenthe work looks different versus
the manipulation which leads meto.
That's what happened.
So after, because those firsttwo years I'm just like, okay,
well, maybe he doesn'tunderstand.
Those first two years werehoping, okay, let's try this,
(17:29):
all right, so maybe he doesn't.
There are some things that Ifound out in the family that he
experienced and he went through.
Okay, let's work here, let's go, let me try this.
Right, let me attempt to dothis, let me I mean everything
you could think of, fromcounseling to us, trying me
(17:55):
saying, hey, let's go on trip.
He didn't want to go on trips,let's do this.
And you have to understand,during this whole timeframe,
from the time that I got married, I was dumb, stupid ugly, you
can't.
You couldn't cuss at me becauseI would go off, but any other
name you could think of, that's,that's how he would come at me.
(18:17):
And so I'm sitting here and I'mthinking, which again goes back
to really there should havebeen a separation, because it
was.
It was clear chorus of control.
Speaker 3 (18:31):
Matthew's 18.
Speaker 1 (18:32):
Yeah, so I should have during that timeframe,
because it was, it was toxic, itwasn't a good thing.
But what I did was I was like,okay, as I stay and I pray and
God, god will work me throughthis, we'll work through it.
But it takes two.
It takes two.
And when you're with someonewho willingly like so I give an
(18:54):
example we had rent was due.
I came home, I changed it.
I mean, I did everything youcould possibly think of and I
was like, okay, you take care ofthis one bill and I'll take
care of the rest.
You take care of this one bill.
And he had a Corvette.
You had a Corvette.
When I met him and I don'tbelieve, I don't believe in
(19:15):
changing any man.
I've never believed that.
I believe you, you respectwhere people are in their
journey and where they are, andGod is the only one that can
change a person, right?
So believe who you see.
And and so me coming in saying,hey, you got to get rid of this
car, this, I was never thatperson.
(19:36):
But yeah, so he had a Corvette.
Fine, okay, you pay this onebill.
He took the money and he, hebought brand new pipes for his
Corvette and I'm like did whathappened with the rent?
Did you, did you pay the rent?
(19:56):
Rent wasn't paid and so I wasgoing just going through it, so
finally got so cool.
I was like, okay, I can't, Idon't care what nobody is saying
this, it is what it is BecauseI can't.
And that is when, when you'redealing with somebody who's
manipulating, that is when wegot into our first physical
(20:21):
altercation, and because I waslike we just need to and I was,
I was blunt, I was more bluntthan I am now.
I was like, hey, we just needto call it what it is and what
this is.
It's just not going to work.
We just need to let it go.
And I'm headed to the bedroom.
And that's when he grabbed meup by my neck, threw me up
(20:42):
against the wall, told me if youever leave me, I kill you.
I'm the type that is like againthe Leninger's David Peter is in
me.
I'm like and then I'm athletic.
So if we go, if is this what wedoing today?
(21:04):
Okay, and I went like we had aall out fight.
We had a all out fight to thepoint I live.
We lived on the third floor.
I literally opened up thewindow to jump out.
He had pulled me back in but wehad a all out drag out and then
(21:25):
I was able to get away becausehe took my keys.
I was able to get away.
Ran called, was called.
My mom did not tell my mom wasgoing on, but she could see it
because out of like, out of like, out.
And so my mom, she came and shelooked at me and she asked me.
(21:48):
She said she didn't ask me ifhe, if he hit me because I
wasn't even going there, becauseas black women, we are taught
you keep it private, because ifyou open it up, you're going to
open your family up to to, tosomething you might not want at
(22:10):
the time.
Right, and I'm sitting herethinking, hey, if I tell so my
dad, don't get it twisted.
My dad isn't a minister, mybrother evangelist ministers,
but if they, if this gets out tothem Like this ain't gonna be
good, and then it'll get out tothe family, it ain't gonna be,
it's not gonna be good.
So my, my mother, she looked atme and she's she said what do
(22:34):
you want to do?
You tell me what, what you wantto do.
I support you.
And so I was like mom, I waslike, hey, let me stay here, you
know, in the hotel.
So she paid for me to staythere for like a week.
I said, let me just you know now, by this time my ex had called
(22:55):
my dad, my friends, andbasically was like Flipped it
and made it seem like it was me,like I was the one that was,
you know, having his issues.
But I was just like, listen, IDidn't discuss it with anybody,
(23:18):
I only discussed it with him,not knowing he was making these
phone calls.
So my dad being a counselorSuggested, and my dad didn't
even know what happened.
They're just thinking I wentoff on him because, again, I'm
from that lineage, like you not.
And and what my people knewabout me is, I'm not, I'm not
(23:39):
just gonna accept anything.
So when that occurred, when sothis, that that time my dad was
like baby, you got to calm down.
He didn't know that he had puthands on me and I didn't.
I didn't change that, thatviewpoint, because that's just
not what you do At the time.
(24:01):
So we went to counseling.
We went to counseling for Up tosix months and that counselor
was look, looked at me.
We had one session and thenfinally I had a session and she
looked at me.
She was a Christian counselorand she said, she said he needs
(24:23):
to get diagnosed.
I was like what?
She was like there's adisconnect, said, didn't
understand her at the time and Isaid, well, she said, try them,
try to Do what you can do, butthere's a disconnect and I don't
think he'll ever really Get itor understand.
(24:46):
And so I was like, okay, Ididn't.
At that time I was like, but hehad did everything that I had
requested, he had.
He went to All the counselingif different things like that.
So when he knew or he felt thatI would possibly leave, things
got a little bit better.
(25:08):
It was a little bit better.
But if I know what I know now.
So we're going into now, we'regoing into a good four years of
marriage.
And now I'm I'm like, okay,i'ma go to law school.
I looked into the law schools,I Began to put my paperwork in.
(25:30):
I told him, hey, I'm about togo to law school.
Then all of a sudden he was likehey, I want to, I want to have
a baby.
And I'm like God, it God doesnot want this marriage.
God's not what this marriagehappened.
But and he was like no, Ireally want, I really want a
baby.
This is it.
And I Thought what I thought Iwas making sure I was on birth
(25:55):
control.
What's not gonna happen is thatagain because we had come so
far, and when I tell you, likethe work that was done, so here
it is now, four years later,which we're just now, you know,
coming to.
It was.
You know it was a uphill battle.
(26:19):
So so now to bring a child intothis, I was like mmm and me,
and literally three, four monthsin, after he said that I can
pray me.
So I'm like what in the world?
And then that's when the abusereally occurred and that's when
(26:42):
the abuse really started.
And If it became, it wasn'tuntil I got pretty big.
So I don't know the feeling ofwhen you're hungry and you ask
your spouse to go get somethingto eat and he brings you food.
I didn't.
I didn't experience that.
I didn't experience Even evenjust going to the store and
(27:07):
saying, hey, okay, we gonna havea baby shower, let's pick some
stuff out.
Then it was all out fights,like he would get angry and he
would go in on me, and what Istarted noticing is as I got
bigger, as I got bigger withchild, that's the more bold.
And he became and um, that wasthe first time that he had ever
(27:34):
Called I was.
I was like eight months pregnantand we were on the highway and
traffic and he's calling me theB word.
And I looked and I, because Ican't handle that and I got out
the car, uh, on the highway, mypregnant sale.
He's like no, don't, do youknow?
(27:55):
Those were the stuff like so itjust Progressively just got bad
, it got back, but the blessedso.
So during this timeframe I'mpregnant.
He's calling it like, like Isaid every day was you're done,
stupid ugly.
But but when I would go to workwas just why I say, when you
stay with God and I'm, I'msteady, I'm steady going to
(28:19):
church, I'm steady living, live.
Because I, because I did notunderstand To, I mean, I did not
understand, like why I feltlike I was being punished and I
was like, okay, um, but he wouldcall me every name that you
could think of, except for cusswords, but then I would go to
(28:40):
work.
So I took the t?
Re, the train, into Dallas andit would be amazing the amount
of compliments that I would get.
And I'll be like you know, he'scalling me ugly and fat.
That morning I'm with yourchild and here it is.
I would just be there and itwould.
It would be the nicest, thesweetest people.
And they were like, oh, mygoodness, you are so pretty, you
(29:04):
know, and it would be like, andI'd be like looking like, and
one one day, what he, what hesaid, rattled me because you
know, you, you're, you'respreading, and he said things
that I'm like, I couldn't see myfeet at this time.
And this man, he, literally hestopped and he said I just want
to tell you.
(29:24):
He said do you want me to tieyour shoe?
And I'm, I'm like cryingbecause I couldn't, I couldn't
reach down and tie my shoe, andhe looked at me.
He's like, oh, he said, let metell you, you, you are so
beautiful.
He said, you are a beautifulpregnant woman.
And I was like, I was like,right, and that's a crime.
And I was like, right, I'mpretty, like you don't know what
(29:46):
he's talking about, you know,and those were the things that
that God, god would just steady,send me Things along the way
and then, even being pregnant,like I took, I don't know what
it feels like To be just takencare of.
At that time I did not know whatit felt like to be taken care
(30:08):
of.
I paid, I paid the bills, I youknow what I mean like, oh, if I
wanted to eat, I had to figureout how to eat.
He didn't.
He didn't provide in thatmanner, like so it was almost
like, um, there are times wherethe only time that that I would
(30:31):
be like, oh, you know, I reallywant something, he would go out
and get something.
It was because he was hungrytoo, so it wasn't like, oh, it's
just me, I didn't have that, Ididn't know what that was and so
.
But I was blessed at workbecause it was a bunch of men
who were married, who had.
(30:52):
You know, they would laugh atme because I love pizza.
My son has a birthmark piece ofslice.
That's how much pizza I atewith him and I just they would
come with like whole pieces andI would just be like it's static
.
But that's how God.
(31:13):
God sent people in my world andin my life when I was going
through all of that and showedme hey, you know, I'm here for
you, I'm here, and I thinkthat's as Christians, I don't
think we understand, like whenyou are not doing what God has
called you to do.
You don't know you are thatperson that is supposed to come
(31:36):
into someone's world and helpthem at a time when they're
going.
I was going through a majortest, one that I can't even.
It was a major test and thereare people who just showed up in
my test that let me know God isstill here.
And, as Christians, that's whatwe're supposed to do is let
(31:58):
people know.
I know you're going through it,but God is still here.
So here it is.
I I ended up having and if whenyou look back at people say,
what's one regret?
I had got to the point to whereI was just like I Couldn't
continue to work because I hadsome complications.
(32:19):
So they were like, hey, youkind of need to go home.
But I worked for the federalgovernment, like great benefits,
and I was moving, you know,moving up in In that position.
But something told me to gohome.
Now, if I look back, I wouldn'thave went home.
My mama beg.
(32:41):
She was like, baby, don't do itlike you don't have that type
of man.
Every man is not meant to justtake on the care of the
household.
I don't think people realizethat, especially when you have
one who struggles with certainthings.
Speaker 3 (32:57):
Especially if he's not taught how to be a man,
right?
Yeah, it tells us in the Biblethat the older men, the same way
it says for the older women, toteach the younger.
If he wasn't taught justbecause he was baptized again,
whereas in the beginning hewasn't Disciples he was baptized
right Because if he was taught,he would have understood his
role as a husband.
(33:18):
He would have understood hisrole.
But he's, he was your class.
He's he was your class.
Classic Narcissist, which meanshe was a spoiled brat, like his
family, probably allowed him toget away with murder.
Right.
And Because he got away withmurder, he knew how to line it
(33:40):
up Right.
He knew how to like, paint the,the perfect picture to make
people we what they wanted.
He was the greatest illusionist, that's it.
Speaker 1 (33:52):
We would go out and he would open doors.
I used to call myself almostlike a china doll, like even
like before having my son.
It was like he would go out,you would see us out and you
would be like, oh my goodness,y'all are such a beautiful
couple.
He's open up doors, he'ssmiling this and that, and as
(34:15):
soon as we got behind closeddoors it was he wouldn't.
He wouldn't talk to me or hewould.
You know, it was just Dr JekyllMissile and you're looking like
, but it was all for showbecause he wanted to make sure
that it looked a certain kind ofway and it was just.
(34:35):
It was amazing.
Even.
It got to the point to where Ihave to check myself because I
Was being a party to that, tothe way that that he was
operating, because I'm just I'mtrying to.
You know, I'm trying to get toa good point, and that's the
(34:57):
thing is when you're in arelationship.
So course of control is a formof abuse.
Course of control they secludeyou from your family of
Financial abuse is involved inthat.
You're going through emotional,a lot of emotional life.
For instance, you're looking atthe sky and the sky is blue and
they're literally telling youthe sky is green, like that's
(35:23):
the steady mental Anguish thatthey, they'll steady put you
through and it's not a normal.
A lot of, a lot of women pre orwhen there is a, when there is
a presence of potential, movingto domestic physical abuse, you
(35:46):
normally see cursor controlright before that time frame.
And so I mean, I, I Went, I wentthrough it, but and I'll back
up a little bit I Would bereally frustrated, really angry.
But my mom again, my mom willcall every day hey, baby, how
(36:09):
are you feeling?
Okay, you gonna live right,regardless of whatever, and I
would, I would be so angry.
I'm like mom, he called me this, he did this, he said this, and
she would say well, are youthat notice?
It's the questions again, it'sthe why.
Well, why is that occurring?
(36:30):
And a lot of times I would justwant to wipe the while away and
let's just go with, let's justwalk, let's just try to get to a
point where everything's okay.
But it was never peace, it wasnever peace in the home, and so
it was almost like.
So my mom got to the point.
She said, hey, let's stoptalking about him.
(36:53):
What about you?
Like?
What are things you can work on.
Stop focusing on the mind,let's talk about you.
So I got to the point.
So I said you know what?
Okay, you're right, it took atime.
It took a while because I wasso.
I believe that's when I reallystart, after the hope had passed
(37:17):
of, okay, this can be better.
I was getting to a point whereI was just like I don't think,
lord, I don't think that it can.
That's when my mom was able tospeak into me and she began to
like sign me up for stuff tolike present, you know, like,
(37:38):
and I'm like cause she was likeokay, you keep moving, you keep
moving with God.
And I was like you know whywould you sign me up for this
ladies day program?
And I'm going through what I'mgoing through, but then I would
have to study, and so if and Iwas taught what you teach, you
gotta live.
So I'm like, okay.
(38:00):
I said, oh well, let me sweeparound my own front door, cause
I know there are some thingsthat I can clean up, right.
And so I got to the point towhere he would tell me oh,
you're so ugly and I'm like youknow what, maybe I could look
better, so I would get a gymmembership.
(38:22):
I would get a gym membershipand I will, I will begin to like
I worked on myself.
I actually became very healthy.
He would tell me like you talktoo much, you get so angry, you
get mad.
And I was like, well, do I dothat?
And then I would.
And then I said, you know whatI'm gonna work on me, you know
(38:45):
what I'm gonna be better.
So I, purposely, I took classes, I did all like.
I was like, literally I tookwhat he would say and I would
say I'll flip it and I wouldlook at myself and I'll say,
okay, let me be better, let mework on this, this, this and
this.
And I stopped focusing on him,which led me to go to law school
(39:11):
or attempt to go to law school.
And then he did another wrenchand was just like I want, you
know, we're gonna have a baby,this and that.
And I was like no, no, no.
And then got allowed it tohappen and I was like wow, like
why?
You know, why would that happen?
(39:34):
And I was.
So I knew it was a boy.
I knew it was a boy.
From the day that I found out, Ifelt that I was like life is in
me.
I felt it, loved it, like itwas amazing, but I went through
(39:56):
it right.
So I didn't have theexperiences of what other women
had.
I didn't, I had to take care ofmyself, but I got to a point
where I had to go home.
So I'm at home and I'm likeokay, at any time that I showed
happiness or care or joy, thatwas removed.
(40:19):
Like he liked to control thetemperament in the home and I
did go.
I began to kind of go deep intodepression and then like so
people talk, people asked me soduring this timeframe, you know,
I'm like okay, now all thebills are on him because I went
(40:42):
home and I purposely my mom said, don't do it.
Which I look back and I'm likemaybe I, maybe I shouldn't have.
But what I didn't want was I'mgonna have this baby.
He's not gonna work.
I'm gonna have to take care ofhim and this baby.
But so this is the thing withhim, he would get me back.
(41:06):
So when I went home, so the car,the Jag that I have been paying
for $600, $700 a month onbecause it it fell on me he took
we like two, maybe two to threepayments away from paying it
off.
He took my Jag and traded it inand came back with it.
(41:28):
He didn't take his, he didn'ttake his Corvette, who is a
two-seater.
He took my car, traded it inand I and I'm looking at him
rubbing my belly and I was likeI'm not, I'm not gonna have my
child, I'm not gonna have mychild.
So that's the stuff, like thoseare the things that he would do
(41:49):
.
So a person who has this typeof personality disorder they
hold, they'll hold it and thenthey'll get you back at a later
date or a later time.
So a lot of things that I weregoing, that I was going through,
was because he was mad aboutsomething that I did previously
(42:10):
and he was going to give me back.
Speaker 2 (42:12):
We got to get you on another part.
We're running out of time.
We got to get you back on LikeI, I and you're not sitting back
.
We like, oh man, like it'sgetting good.
Your story is good, but we'regoing to wrap it up.
Do you mind coming back tocontinue sharing your story?
(42:32):
Yes, yes.
Speaker 1 (42:34):
You have to get to the point if it gets wayward.
Speaker 2 (42:40):
Stay tuned for more as we delve more into
Elizabeth's powerful, god-giventestimony.
See you next week.
That's it for now, but beforewe go, please continue to listen
, subscribe, share our podcast.
Also, if you want to supportour show, please scroll down to
the bottom of the show notes andclick on the link that says buy
(43:01):
me a coffee.
We were greatly appreciated.
Thank you for listening andremember God is good all the
time, and all the time God isgood and also Jesus Christ loves
you.
Thank you.
And you have to understand during this whole
timeframe, from the time that Igot married, I was dumb, stupid
ugly.
You couldn't cuss at me becauseI would go off, but any other
name you could think of, that'show he would come at me.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
Welcome to the Call by God podcast with Adne Godin
and myself, nixon Sylvain.
This show is about dialogues ofbiblical characters and
testimonies of Christians whosubmitted to the will of God.
Each week, we bring on oneguest so that they can share
their story of how they werecalled by God.
I hope this show inspires you.
(00:40):
Enjoy Hello world.
Welcome to another week ofElizabeth Stewart Williams
testimony.
Hope you enjoyed this episode.
So sit back and enjoy the ride.
Be blessed, you know, because Ihave a question that I want to
ask.
I think it's going to blesssomebody, because I know you've
(01:01):
been violated, because I have asibling that's been violated as
well.
And so my sister.
She took the other direction.
She decided that she likedwomen.
So, instead of because she feltlike she couldn't be with any
men because of what happened toher when she was young, she's
like okay, I'm going left, Idon't want to deal with no men.
And for you, on the other hand,you knew who you was as a
(01:25):
Christian.
You believe that it was a testwhere some women and there's,
you know, people deal with theirsituation different, where you
might have a woman or a girlthat decided to sleep with
multiple men because she's beenviolated.
She's like okay, well, I'm goingto sleep with anybody and have
different baby daddies.
So you took a differentapproach, which I like about
your story and I know you'vegotten to a relationship, you
(01:47):
know with your husband.
But I want to know, like, howdid he win you over?
How did you not, how did younot like, have that?
Look, I've been, you know, Ialready went through what I went
through and I wanted to trustno man.
Or was it because he had theimage of a Christian or Christ
like, or?
I want you to explain thatbecause I want people to really
(02:08):
understand this.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
He worked, he had to work.
So like, for instance, when Isay, like he showed up at
worship, it wasn't like you'renot just going to talk to me.
That's how I was, like you'renot just going to talk to me,
right, he will come, like hewill come, hey, you know.
(02:34):
And then, at the same time, Ialso was introduced to him at
one point, but I was still likeit's me and Jesus, like I'm good
, walking with him, right, hewas, he was, show, he would show
up, he would show up at, foundout where I worked, show up at
(02:54):
my job.
I have roses.
He show up, show up.
Yeah, like it was.
It wasn't he put in some work,he found out, found out where my
dad, my dad, was preaching ator where he was teaching at.
He show up there, he showed.
He even took my mom a groceryshopping.
(03:15):
Like he, he put in some workand it it took some and lived,
lived at the church.
We lived there, we lived there.
Actually, he was baptized bysome of the pioneers in the
church.
We were having a crusade forChrist and who was at his, was
(03:38):
at the baptism, was brother,brother Maxwell, brother Evans,
brother who brother?
Pretty much, pretty much anyonemajor that you could think of
in the body, because it was bodyof Christ in in Houston and he
got, he got baptized.
That talk he was taught by bythe great, what you would
(04:02):
consider the greats right, yeah,no, he put that work in.
Speaker 2 (04:08):
All right, so you could.
You could talk about now whenhe said because you made me wait
, I'm going to make you wait,I'm waiting.
Speaker 1 (04:14):
It was no.
So I, I called my mom and Isaid, hey, it's not going to
work, this ain't going to work,right, because?
And then I was because of whatI, especially because of what I
went through, I was in no likeif I saw signs like I'm out,
that's what it was Like.
(04:35):
Okay, you going to act this way, be blessed.
I wish you well and on yourjourney, and I'm out.
You know what I'm saying.
I didn't play, oh, I, I so.
But here it is, my mother issitting here telling me you
didn't just marry him, youmarried, you married God.
(04:56):
And because I understood whatthat meant.
So what that meant was becauseI married, I married to God, I
got to, I got to put in the work, because true love works, it's
a work that goes into that.
And so my mom asked me a seriesof questions.
(05:17):
Did he put his hands on you?
Did he do this?
Did he do that?
No, no, no.
She said, okay, well, yourbetter is not here.
You just started on your worst.
And I, I cried, I cried and Iwas like why?
(05:38):
And that goes back to thatquestion, why?
And then it from there.
It from there was like a Inever had a honeymoon period.
I don't know what that is.
When people talk about that,I'm like that's cute, don't know
what that is.
It was.
It was a turbulent.
That's when I found outeverything that was presented in
(06:00):
premarital.
That was a lot.
What was presented was straightfront, like it was.
I was like wait a minute.
So you, because I didn't haveany debt, you know, the only
thing I had was student loans.
I didn't, I didn't use creditcards Like I'm, I'm, you know.
(06:22):
I saw I'm sitting here lookinglike wait a minute.
So that's not your account,that's your dad's account.
They have the same name.
So how much credit did you like?
So what's going on?
You know, everything was a lie.
Everything, down to down to thecar.
Everything was a lie and it waslike okay, how do I move from
(06:49):
this guy?
Because I couldn't trustanything, like even like I could
not trust anything.
He would do stuff like we hadwe had a joint account together.
He would take, take all themoney out of the account.
He would take all their moneyout of the account.
(07:12):
There was an incident where hewas like the, the, the setup or
the way that it was set up, wasthere was someone, there was
someone else that was supposedto handle the family accounts
and I was supposed to give themtheir, their checks which was
his mom at the time and I waslike, no, that's not going to
(07:34):
happen.
It was, it was if, I, if, if,if, if you could take that
moment and put it in a movie, itwould be unbelievable.
And it was like, oh my, like Isaid, what in?
So you don't have, you don'thave your own account, you don't
(07:55):
have this, you don't have that.
No, didn't have any of that.
So everything that waspresented to me was a lie and I
literally was like I, I.
At one point I was like God,just take me, just take me,
because what is this, what isthis?
(08:18):
So I'm struggling with not onlythe from the physical
perspective, but then also thefinancial.
It would be stuff like our firstyear of marriage.
We went through like twoapartments.
What we, what?
What we would go through islike I would literally go to
work and I would come back homeand he's moved us out of the
whole, out of the wholeapartment, and I didn't, I
(08:40):
didn't know.
And I'm coming home to like anote saying, hey, we've moved,
come to this address, and so Iwould go to the address and I
got people clapping and saying,oh, this is so sweet, y'all are
in a new place.
So he would move me and we moveto a new apartment.
And we'd be in a new apartment,a new place.
(09:02):
He did that with my vehicles.
I had a truck.
I had was was we had just areabout to pay that truck off
right.
Took my truck in he wassupposed to get an oil change on
it.
Took my truck, got to, got nowhe would get the car that I like
.
So I love the jack.
(09:22):
He got the jack, but then guesswho.
But so he picked me up.
I'm coming there all outsideclapping, and at that time you
don't, you don't, or.
What I was taught was you don'tembarrass your husband or you
don't have conversations, areyou?
What you do is privately.
You'll talk later.
(09:43):
But if I know what I know now,I would have been like I'm not
signing for that, right.
But they all came out clapping.
All you have to do is sign hereand it's yours.
And I'm looking like what isthis?
That's a $700 car note.
Why would I do that?
But that's the stuff that hedid.
And so throughout my marriage.
(10:05):
It was almost like we movedmultiple times.
It got to the point where I gotto the point where I say you
know what?
You can't do this again.
Like, if you do this to getlike I'm going to be living,
like we need to be a part of it.
And it was.
It was a literal work.
It was like I would tell God,okay, god, like, because I don't
, I don't, I don't know how todo, I don't know how to do this,
(10:28):
and you have to walk me throughit because I'm when, I'm angry.
But then too, it's like I'membarrassed, like I don't know
what's going on.
And it was it every, every step, with something new of drama
every step.
And it was just like what inthe world?
(10:49):
And so it got to the point.
There were times like he madewhat he determined what he made,
so he worked, he worked for therailroad, so he determined what
he made, and he, he, he wasn'tgoing to work.
So it got to the point where wewere just living off of me and
(11:14):
I'm coming home to evictionnotices on our door and I'm like
like what is this Right?
So again we're, we're steadystead, things are steady,
happening that.
I'm like what.
So I don't know what a hun.
So my first, my first two years,was like a.
(11:39):
It was like a horror movie andI'm like stressed, like went
from one.
But God, this is a thing Godwould bless me from.
So I was a paralegal.
I was supposed to go to lawschool but I put that off.
So as a paralegal, I went fromone law firm God bless me to get
(12:05):
a position with the federalgovernment.
So I learned this.
So I learned in differentsectors what type of law?
Because I said, okay, I'll justtake this time to determine
what type of lawyer I wanted tobe, because that was the idea.
But, um, but God, so heprogressed me in that way.
(12:26):
But he got to the point towhere it was like it was.
It was so stressful and it waslike, okay, like I need to get
out of here.
So it was like my.
After we were together almosttwo years and I said I just
can't do it.
And people are telling me youknow you can't divorce.
(12:47):
And he would always tell methis you can't divorce, I
haven't cheated and I will tellanybody, anybody who tells you
that run, because that meansthey are Right.
So he would tell me all thetime.
You can't.
He.
He knew it was bad.
You can't, you can't goanywhere.
I haven't cheated when it gotreally heavy.
(13:10):
I come home to a note and he'scompletely moved the home and
I'm in another apartment andthey're outside clapping and he
had that much Because I'mlooking like how are you able to
do it?
It's my credit, like how areyou able to do it?
But during that time frame, theway that they looked at credit
(13:31):
was, you know, especially ify'all were married, like you
could take my social and put itwith my husband.
It wouldn't even.
It wouldn't even show up on my,on my credit report.
It would show up on his.
You would have to run thenumber.
And so I mean, I went throughit.
So finally, at one point camehome, it was in Viction.
(13:51):
Notice he playing video games.
I'm like I'm this, is it Like I,like we just need it in this.
And I was like I guess I'm justgoing to be single for the rest
of my life.
Because that's why everybodywas like you can't, you know, do
this.
And now that I those portionsof the scripture.
So this is the thing my parentstaught me.
(14:13):
They taught me clearly how togo back to the scriptures and
study for myself Some things youknow you get lazy with at times
and you don't, you don't you?
Just, you know, pick up whatpeople say, but when you're
going through it, you shouldtake the time to really look at
what the scriptures are sayingso that it can apply
(14:36):
appropriately to your life.
So during that timeframe,honestly we should have
separated, because if we were toseparate it, I feel like I
would have found out more, buteverybody was telling me you
can't do that, which was it true?
We are curious.
Speaker 2 (14:53):
I'm curious.
I'm curious, I'm sorry I got toask you this question Because
I've been married for 10 yearsnow and again, like I said, I
got a real crowd out here and Iknow they someone out there
saying, like, nick, you got toask them.
You got to ask them questionBecause we know when people come
together except the Lord builda house, they labor and they
have to build it.
You know when we this issomething that we tell people as
(15:13):
Christians like marry somebodythat's Christian, build a
foundation.
And I know somebody that likesand like, wow, they did
everything right, she's aChristian, he's a Christian,
they got God.
It's supposed to work.
But we know, as marriage, we'regoing to have our ups and downs
.
But, man, where was God in thisand how did?
Did you guys even try to cometogether to resolve it?
Like, walk us through that,because somebody might be going
through it right now.
(15:34):
They need to know.
Speaker 1 (15:35):
It wasn't an authentic, I would say and I
don't want to so much so speakto where he was but an inaction.
Okay, so in action, it was notan authentic love for Christ
that I believe he possessed, anauthentic love, so one that's
(16:01):
balanced, and then, of course,we'll get to types of narcissism
, but one that's authentic isone that is like your desire and
your goal is to really try todo what God has called you to do
when you're authentic in it,but when you're about
(16:24):
manipulation and getting over itdoesn't matter.
So that part doesn't, itdoesn't, doesn't even register.
Actually, the joy is I got over, like I was able to get by
verses, and I think that's thething that people have to, you
(16:44):
know, marry people a lot oftimes are quick to say you know
you got to do this, this, thisand this, but you don't
understand.
You really got to look at theantenna of the person that
you're with.
So I like, if I told this samescenario excuse me, if I told
(17:06):
the same scenario with someonewho was really desiring to have
a relationship with God, thenthe work looks different versus
the manipulation which leads meto.
That's what happened.
So after, because those firsttwo years I'm just like, okay,
well, maybe he doesn'tunderstand.
Those first two years werehoping, okay, let's try this,
(17:29):
all right, so maybe he doesn't.
There are some things that Ifound out in the family that he
experienced and he went through.
Okay, let's work here, let's go, let me try this.
Right, let me attempt to dothis, let me I mean everything
you could think of, fromcounseling to us, trying me
(17:55):
saying, hey, let's go on trip.
He didn't want to go on trips,let's do this.
And you have to understand,during this whole timeframe,
from the time that I got married, I was dumb, stupid ugly, you
can't.
You couldn't cuss at me becauseI would go off, but any other
name you could think of, that's,that's how he would come at me.
(18:17):
And so I'm sitting here and I'mthinking, which again goes back
to really there should havebeen a separation, because it
was.
It was clear chorus of control.
Speaker 3 (18:31):
Matthew's 18.
Speaker 1 (18:32):
Yeah, so I should have during that timeframe,
because it was, it was toxic, itwasn't a good thing.
But what I did was I was like,okay, as I stay and I pray and
God, god will work me throughthis, we'll work through it.
But it takes two.
It takes two.
And when you're with someonewho willingly like so I give an
(18:54):
example we had rent was due.
I came home, I changed it.
I mean, I did everything youcould possibly think of and I
was like, okay, you take care ofthis one bill and I'll take
care of the rest.
You take care of this one bill.
And he had a Corvette.
You had a Corvette.
When I met him and I don'tbelieve, I don't believe in
(19:15):
changing any man.
I've never believed that.
I believe you, you respectwhere people are in their
journey and where they are, andGod is the only one that can
change a person, right?
So believe who you see.
And and so me coming in saying,hey, you got to get rid of this
car, this, I was never thatperson.
(19:36):
But yeah, so he had a Corvette.
Fine, okay, you pay this onebill.
He took the money and he, hebought brand new pipes for his
Corvette and I'm like did whathappened with the rent?
Did you, did you pay the rent?
(19:56):
Rent wasn't paid and so I wasgoing just going through it, so
finally got so cool.
I was like, okay, I can't, Idon't care what nobody is saying
this, it is what it is BecauseI can't.
And that is when, when you'redealing with somebody who's
manipulating, that is when wegot into our first physical
(20:21):
altercation, and because I waslike we just need to and I was,
I was blunt, I was more bluntthan I am now.
I was like, hey, we just needto call it what it is and what
this is.
It's just not going to work.
We just need to let it go.
And I'm headed to the bedroom.
And that's when he grabbed meup by my neck, threw me up
(20:42):
against the wall, told me if youever leave me, I kill you.
I'm the type that is like againthe Leninger's David Peter is in
me.
I'm like and then I'm athletic.
So if we go, if is this what wedoing today?
(21:04):
Okay, and I went like we had aall out fight.
We had a all out fight to thepoint I live.
We lived on the third floor.
I literally opened up thewindow to jump out.
He had pulled me back in but wehad a all out drag out and then
(21:25):
I was able to get away becausehe took my keys.
I was able to get away.
Ran called, was called.
My mom did not tell my mom wasgoing on, but she could see it
because out of like, out of like, out.
And so my mom, she came and shelooked at me and she asked me.
(21:48):
She said she didn't ask me ifhe, if he hit me because I
wasn't even going there, becauseas black women, we are taught
you keep it private, because ifyou open it up, you're going to
open your family up to to, tosomething you might not want at
(22:10):
the time.
Right, and I'm sitting herethinking, hey, if I tell so my
dad, don't get it twisted.
My dad isn't a minister, mybrother evangelist ministers,
but if they, if this gets out tothem Like this ain't gonna be
good, and then it'll get out tothe family, it ain't gonna be,
it's not gonna be good.
So my, my mother, she looked atme and she's she said what do
(22:34):
you want to do?
You tell me what, what you wantto do.
I support you.
And so I was like mom, I waslike, hey, let me stay here, you
know, in the hotel.
So she paid for me to staythere for like a week.
I said, let me just you know now, by this time my ex had called
(22:55):
my dad, my friends, andbasically was like Flipped it
and made it seem like it was me,like I was the one that was,
you know, having his issues.
But I was just like, listen, IDidn't discuss it with anybody,
(23:18):
I only discussed it with him,not knowing he was making these
phone calls.
So my dad being a counselorSuggested, and my dad didn't
even know what happened.
They're just thinking I wentoff on him because, again, I'm
from that lineage, like you not.
And and what my people knewabout me is, I'm not, I'm not
(23:39):
just gonna accept anything.
So when that occurred, when sothis, that that time my dad was
like baby, you got to calm down.
He didn't know that he had puthands on me and I didn't.
I didn't change that, thatviewpoint, because that's just
not what you do At the time.
(24:01):
So we went to counseling.
We went to counseling for Up tosix months and that counselor
was look, looked at me.
We had one session and thenfinally I had a session and she
looked at me.
She was a Christian counselorand she said, she said he needs
(24:23):
to get diagnosed.
I was like what?
She was like there's adisconnect, said, didn't
understand her at the time and Isaid, well, she said, try them,
try to Do what you can do, butthere's a disconnect and I don't
think he'll ever really Get itor understand.
(24:46):
And so I was like, okay, Ididn't.
At that time I was like, but hehad did everything that I had
requested, he had.
He went to All the counselingif different things like that.
So when he knew or he felt thatI would possibly leave, things
got a little bit better.
(25:08):
It was a little bit better.
But if I know what I know now.
So we're going into now, we'regoing into a good four years of
marriage.
And now I'm I'm like, okay,i'ma go to law school.
I looked into the law schools,I Began to put my paperwork in.
(25:30):
I told him, hey, I'm about togo to law school.
Then all of a sudden he was likehey, I want to, I want to have
a baby.
And I'm like God, it God doesnot want this marriage.
God's not what this marriagehappened.
But and he was like no, Ireally want, I really want a
baby.
This is it.
And I Thought what I thought Iwas making sure I was on birth
(25:55):
control.
What's not gonna happen is thatagain because we had come so
far, and when I tell you, likethe work that was done, so here
it is now, four years later,which we're just now, you know,
coming to.
It was.
You know it was a uphill battle.
(26:19):
So so now to bring a child intothis, I was like mmm and me,
and literally three, four monthsin, after he said that I can
pray me.
So I'm like what in the world?
And then that's when the abusereally occurred and that's when
(26:42):
the abuse really started.
And If it became, it wasn'tuntil I got pretty big.
So I don't know the feeling ofwhen you're hungry and you ask
your spouse to go get somethingto eat and he brings you food.
I didn't.
I didn't experience that.
I didn't experience Even evenjust going to the store and
(27:07):
saying, hey, okay, we gonna havea baby shower, let's pick some
stuff out.
Then it was all out fights,like he would get angry and he
would go in on me, and what Istarted noticing is as I got
bigger, as I got bigger withchild, that's the more bold.
And he became and um, that wasthe first time that he had ever
(27:34):
Called I was.
I was like eight months pregnantand we were on the highway and
traffic and he's calling me theB word.
And I looked and I, because Ican't handle that and I got out
the car, uh, on the highway, mypregnant sale.
He's like no, don't, do youknow?
(27:55):
Those were the stuff like so itjust Progressively just got bad
, it got back, but the blessedso.
So during this timeframe I'mpregnant.
He's calling it like, like Isaid every day was you're done,
stupid ugly.
But but when I would go to workwas just why I say, when you
stay with God and I'm, I'msteady, I'm steady going to
(28:19):
church, I'm steady living, live.
Because I, because I did notunderstand To, I mean, I did not
understand, like why I feltlike I was being punished and I
was like, okay, um, but he wouldcall me every name that you
could think of, except for cusswords, but then I would go to
(28:40):
work.
So I took the t?
Re, the train, into Dallas andit would be amazing the amount
of compliments that I would get.
And I'll be like you know, he'scalling me ugly and fat.
That morning I'm with yourchild and here it is.
I would just be there and itwould.
It would be the nicest, thesweetest people.
And they were like, oh, mygoodness, you are so pretty, you
(29:04):
know, and it would be like, andI'd be like looking like, and
one one day, what he, what hesaid, rattled me because you
know, you, you're, you'respreading, and he said things
that I'm like, I couldn't see myfeet at this time.
And this man, he, literally hestopped and he said I just want
to tell you.
(29:24):
He said do you want me to tieyour shoe?
And I'm, I'm like cryingbecause I couldn't, I couldn't
reach down and tie my shoe, andhe looked at me.
He's like, oh, he said, let metell you, you, you are so
beautiful.
He said, you are a beautifulpregnant woman.
And I was like, I was like,right, and that's a crime.
And I was like, right, I'mpretty, like you don't know what
(29:46):
he's talking about, you know,and those were the things that
that God, god would just steady,send me Things along the way
and then, even being pregnant,like I took, I don't know what
it feels like To be just takencare of.
At that time I did not know whatit felt like to be taken care
(30:08):
of.
I paid, I paid the bills, I youknow what I mean like, oh, if I
wanted to eat, I had to figureout how to eat.
He didn't.
He didn't provide in thatmanner, like so it was almost
like, um, there are times wherethe only time that that I would
(30:31):
be like, oh, you know, I reallywant something, he would go out
and get something.
It was because he was hungrytoo, so it wasn't like, oh, it's
just me, I didn't have that, Ididn't know what that was and so
.
But I was blessed at workbecause it was a bunch of men
who were married, who had.
(30:52):
You know, they would laugh atme because I love pizza.
My son has a birthmark piece ofslice.
That's how much pizza I atewith him and I just they would
come with like whole pieces andI would just be like it's static
.
But that's how God.
(31:13):
God sent people in my world andin my life when I was going
through all of that and showedme hey, you know, I'm here for
you, I'm here, and I thinkthat's as Christians, I don't
think we understand, like whenyou are not doing what God has
called you to do.
You don't know you are thatperson that is supposed to come
(31:36):
into someone's world and helpthem at a time when they're
going.
I was going through a majortest, one that I can't even.
It was a major test and thereare people who just showed up in
my test that let me know God isstill here.
And, as Christians, that's whatwe're supposed to do is let
(31:58):
people know.
I know you're going through it,but God is still here.
So here it is.
I I ended up having and if whenyou look back at people say,
what's one regret?
I had got to the point to whereI was just like I Couldn't
continue to work because I hadsome complications.
(32:19):
So they were like, hey, youkind of need to go home.
But I worked for the federalgovernment, like great benefits,
and I was moving, you know,moving up in In that position.
But something told me to gohome.
Now, if I look back, I wouldn'thave went home.
My mama beg.
(32:41):
She was like, baby, don't do itlike you don't have that type
of man.
Every man is not meant to justtake on the care of the
household.
I don't think people realizethat, especially when you have
one who struggles with certainthings.
Speaker 3 (32:57):
Especially if he's not taught how to be a man,
right?
Yeah, it tells us in the Biblethat the older men, the same way
it says for the older women, toteach the younger.
If he wasn't taught justbecause he was baptized again,
whereas in the beginning hewasn't Disciples he was baptized
right Because if he was taught,he would have understood his
role as a husband.
(33:18):
He would have understood hisrole.
But he's, he was your class.
He's he was your class.
Classic Narcissist, which meanshe was a spoiled brat, like his
family, probably allowed him toget away with murder.
Right.
And Because he got away withmurder, he knew how to line it
(33:40):
up Right.
He knew how to like, paint the,the perfect picture to make
people we what they wanted.
He was the greatest illusionist, that's it.
Speaker 1 (33:52):
We would go out and he would open doors.
I used to call myself almostlike a china doll, like even
like before having my son.
It was like he would go out,you would see us out and you
would be like, oh my goodness,y'all are such a beautiful
couple.
He's open up doors, he'ssmiling this and that, and as
(34:15):
soon as we got behind closeddoors it was he wouldn't.
He wouldn't talk to me or hewould.
You know, it was just Dr JekyllMissile and you're looking like
, but it was all for showbecause he wanted to make sure
that it looked a certain kind ofway and it was just.
(34:35):
It was amazing.
Even.
It got to the point to where Ihave to check myself because I
Was being a party to that, tothe way that that he was
operating, because I'm just I'mtrying to.
You know, I'm trying to get toa good point, and that's the
(34:57):
thing is when you're in arelationship.
So course of control is a formof abuse.
Course of control they secludeyou from your family of
Financial abuse is involved inthat.
You're going through emotional,a lot of emotional life.
For instance, you're looking atthe sky and the sky is blue and
they're literally telling youthe sky is green, like that's
(35:23):
the steady mental Anguish thatthey, they'll steady put you
through and it's not a normal.
A lot of, a lot of women pre orwhen there is a, when there is
a presence of potential, movingto domestic physical abuse, you
(35:46):
normally see cursor controlright before that time frame.
And so I mean, I, I Went, I wentthrough it, but and I'll back
up a little bit I Would bereally frustrated, really angry.
But my mom again, my mom willcall every day hey, baby, how
(36:09):
are you feeling?
Okay, you gonna live right,regardless of whatever, and I
would, I would be so angry.
I'm like mom, he called me this, he did this, he said this, and
she would say well, are youthat notice?
It's the questions again, it'sthe why.
Well, why is that occurring?
(36:30):
And a lot of times I would justwant to wipe the while away and
let's just go with, let's justwalk, let's just try to get to a
point where everything's okay.
But it was never peace, it wasnever peace in the home, and so
it was almost like.
So my mom got to the point.
She said, hey, let's stoptalking about him.
(36:53):
What about you?
Like?
What are things you can work on.
Stop focusing on the mind,let's talk about you.
So I got to the point.
So I said you know what?
Okay, you're right, it took atime.
It took a while because I wasso.
I believe that's when I reallystart, after the hope had passed
(37:17):
of, okay, this can be better.
I was getting to a point whereI was just like I don't think,
lord, I don't think that it can.
That's when my mom was able tospeak into me and she began to
like sign me up for stuff tolike present, you know, like,
(37:38):
and I'm like cause she was likeokay, you keep moving, you keep
moving with God.
And I was like you know whywould you sign me up for this
ladies day program?
And I'm going through what I'mgoing through, but then I would
have to study, and so if and Iwas taught what you teach, you
gotta live.
So I'm like, okay.
(38:00):
I said, oh well, let me sweeparound my own front door, cause
I know there are some thingsthat I can clean up, right.
And so I got to the point towhere he would tell me oh,
you're so ugly and I'm like youknow what, maybe I could look
better, so I would get a gymmembership.
(38:22):
I would get a gym membershipand I will, I will begin to like
I worked on myself.
I actually became very healthy.
He would tell me like you talktoo much, you get so angry, you
get mad.
And I was like, well, do I dothat?
And then I would.
And then I said, you know whatI'm gonna work on me, you know
(38:45):
what I'm gonna be better.
So I, purposely, I took classes, I did all like.
I was like, literally I tookwhat he would say and I would
say I'll flip it and I wouldlook at myself and I'll say,
okay, let me be better, let mework on this, this, this and
this.
And I stopped focusing on him,which led me to go to law school
(39:11):
or attempt to go to law school.
And then he did another wrenchand was just like I want, you
know, we're gonna have a baby,this and that.
And I was like no, no, no.
And then got allowed it tohappen and I was like wow, like
why?
You know, why would that happen?
(39:34):
And I was.
So I knew it was a boy.
I knew it was a boy.
From the day that I found out, Ifelt that I was like life is in
me.
I felt it, loved it, like itwas amazing, but I went through
(39:56):
it right.
So I didn't have theexperiences of what other women
had.
I didn't, I had to take care ofmyself, but I got to a point
where I had to go home.
So I'm at home and I'm likeokay, at any time that I showed
happiness or care or joy, thatwas removed.
(40:19):
Like he liked to control thetemperament in the home and I
did go.
I began to kind of go deep intodepression and then like so
people talk, people asked me soduring this timeframe, you know,
I'm like okay, now all thebills are on him because I went
(40:42):
home and I purposely my mom said, don't do it.
Which I look back and I'm likemaybe I, maybe I shouldn't have.
But what I didn't want was I'mgonna have this baby.
He's not gonna work.
I'm gonna have to take care ofhim and this baby.
But so this is the thing withhim, he would get me back.
(41:06):
So when I went home, so the car,the Jag that I have been paying
for $600, $700 a month onbecause it it fell on me he took
we like two, maybe two to threepayments away from paying it
off.
He took my Jag and traded it inand came back with it.
(41:28):
He didn't take his, he didn'ttake his Corvette, who is a
two-seater.
He took my car, traded it inand I and I'm looking at him
rubbing my belly and I was likeI'm not, I'm not gonna have my
child, I'm not gonna have mychild.
So that's the stuff, like thoseare the things that he would do
(41:49):
.
So a person who has this typeof personality disorder they
hold, they'll hold it and thenthey'll get you back at a later
date or a later time.
So a lot of things that I weregoing, that I was going through,
was because he was mad aboutsomething that I did previously
(42:10):
and he was going to give me back.
Speaker 2 (42:12):
We got to get you on another part.
We're running out of time.
We got to get you back on LikeI, I and you're not sitting back
.
We like, oh man, like it'sgetting good.
Your story is good, but we'regoing to wrap it up.
Do you mind coming back tocontinue sharing your story?
(42:32):
Yes, yes.
Speaker 1 (42:34):
You have to get to the point if it gets wayward.
Speaker 2 (42:40):
Stay tuned for more as we delve more into
Elizabeth's powerful, god-giventestimony.
See you next week.
That's it for now, but beforewe go, please continue to listen
, subscribe, share our podcast.
Also, if you want to supportour show, please scroll down to
the bottom of the show notes andclick on the link that says buy
(43:01):
me a coffee.
We were greatly appreciated.
Thank you for listening andremember God is good all the
time, and all the time God isgood and also Jesus Christ loves
you.
Thank you.
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