October 23, 2023 • 31 mins
Have you ever wondered about the strength that lies within faith? Our intimate conversation with Sister Elizabeth Stewart -Williams explores this profound question as she recounts her incredible journey of survival, from a spiritually-guided childhood to a tumultuous, abusive relationship, and her eventual spiritual upliftment. We dive deep into Sister Elizabeth's life, painted with chilling realities of being a Christian, targeted by Satan after accepting the gospel, and her personal struggle with domestic violence.
Understanding coercive control, its subtle signs, and its dangerous escalation forms the second part of our heartfelt discussion with Sister Elizabeth. She narrates a shocking revelation from a routine domestic violence test that signaled her to escape, protecting herself.
As we journey through Sister Elizabeth's life, we can't overlook the significant role of faith and her church community in helping her overcome depression. Her resilient belief in God, and the unwavering support from her mother, helped her brave through these trying times. Her powerful testimony serves as a potent reminder of prayer, faith, and the transformative power of God's love. Join us on this inspiring, tear-jerking, and ultimately triumphant journey of Sister Elizabeth Stewart -Williams.
Plan of Salvation:
- Hear: Romans 10:17
- Believe: Hebrews 11:6
- Repent: Acts 17:30-31
- Confess: Matthew 10:32
- Be Baptized: Mark 16:15-16
- Be faithful unto death: Revelation 2:10
You can support the show by donating in 3 ways:
Contact Information:
Elizabeth Stewart-Williams, MDR
Website: www.iamprose.org
Email: elizabeth@iamprose.org
Phone: 713.820.6833/ 469.390.9024
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
This is one thing.
This is another form of controlmy ex would do.
My ex would come if he was madat me.
He wouldn't talk to me formonths.
He would come in and wouldn't Isay a word to me.
It would be like I'm talking tohim, not a word.
He would talk.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
Welcome to the Call by God podcast with Adne Godin
and myself, nixon Sylvain.
This show is about dialogues ofbiblical characters and
testimonies of Christians whosubmitted to the will of God.
Each week we bring on one guestso that they can share their
story of how they were called byGod.
I hope this show inspires you.
(00:40):
Enjoy Hello and welcome worldto the Call by God podcast.
I'm yours truly, brother Nick,and I'm here with Sister Adne,
and we have a special guest.
Well, she's been here before,she's not a stranger Sister
Elizabeth Stewart Williams.
Welcome to the show again.
Thank you again for coming on.
(01:01):
We welcome you, we enjoyed yourpresence and we thank you for
saying yes to another call.
We appreciate you.
Before we dive into your episode, adne and I were so intrigued
by your episode I mean youshared so much nuggets with us.
First of all, you talked aboutyour call.
You talked about when you wascalled by God at 10 years old
(01:23):
and in my mind I know whenpeople are brought into the body
of Christ, we know that aservant is not greater than his
master.
Whatever that Jesus Christ wentthrough, we're going to go
through too, because JesusChrist was God and he was this
good man just walking here onearth, just talking about the
gospel, healing folks and doingall the good works.
(01:44):
But I know that when Christianssay yes to the gospel, we know
that Satan is interested.
Interested because it's like webecome a target.
So Satan is interested inputting us back in to his family
.
So I pose a question to you.
I mean because I just justlooking at your whole resume,
your whole life, you know allthese ministries that you're
involved in, precious jewelslists if on dispute resolution
(02:08):
services and founder you are thefounder, I am pro se.
So I say, hold up.
How did all this stuff comeabout?
And you took us way back.
I know we talked about goingback to the future and it was
good that you brought us wayback, because it's one thing
just to share your story, butit's one thing to kind of like
highlight the origin of howeverything came about.
(02:30):
Because I know for a personthat has been saved, this young,
as I mentioned, you had to gothrough some stuff.
And as we go through stuff, weknow as we go through stuff in
life and even in ministries, weknow we continue to evolve and
grow.
So I know you're doing somepowerful things, but I know the
last time you was on becausewe're this month, this whole
month is dedicated to you tobring awareness to domestic
(02:50):
violence.
But I know we left off of yourstory when you started talking
about baby number one, so kindof like walk us through, walk us
through and take us back tothat place where you once were
end out abusive relationship andbaby number one.
Speaker 1 (03:07):
First, thank you.
It's an honor to be here, so tojust dive right in and I want
to make sure that there is anunderstanding.
Like domestic violence, manytimes it doesn't just abruptly
happen right.
(03:28):
There are steps that come withthat and one of the main are a
huge step that came in mysituation.
It started off with what youwould call coercive control and
I didn't bring this up last timebut I want to bring this in.
So coercive control, it's a term.
(03:50):
Basically it states or itimplies like threats or force.
But coercive control is very,it can start out very subtle.
So it can start off withfinancial control.
It can start off with autonomy,basically the removal of any
type of autonomy in your worldhumiliation, isolation, a lot of
(04:12):
verbal abuse and then it canlead to things like assault or
sexual coercion.
It can lead to monitoring allof your activities.
So a lot of times it's notinitial.
So, like the examples that Igave, I would go to work and
(04:34):
then come home and I've beencompletely removed.
I was completely removed out ofmy environment, but I was
removed or moved further awayfrom any support system that I
had, so any community that I hadwhen I would come home and he's
(04:54):
completely moved us.
It's further out, it's notfurther in to the people that I
love and care for.
So, in moving, god-allowingbaby to a baby to come forth, it
was actually at a time where Iliterally found out that I was
actually being abused.
(05:15):
And this is how God works.
I worked at a law firm at thetime and they were volunteering
for a domestic violenceorganization and we had to
complete these.
In order to be a volunteer, youhad to kind of go through the
process of what a survivor goesthrough and there was a test
(05:36):
that was given to determine ifyou were in a state of abuse.
And so I'm looking, I'm fillingthis test out and in this test
it's literally telling me youknow, does he cuss at you?
Does he?
Yeah, like you're answeringthese questions and you're going
at the bottom and then there'sa tally and then there's a
(05:58):
number that's given of if youneed to stay, if you just need
referral services or if you needto run In that test.
It literally told me to runRight.
Literally told me like get out,but I'm pregnant.
And I'm like, wait what?
(06:21):
Because a lot of times,especially black women,
especially those who come fromand this is the thing I come
from a very loving my parentswere a loving relationship home.
I didn't know what the signswere, I didn't understand what I
was going through, but here itis and I'm asking God, like why
(06:43):
now?
Why am I being informed thisnow?
And I have a child with thisperson?
So it only became, it progressedto get worse and I'm
recognizing oh, like he didn'tcuss me, but I was.
(07:03):
You know every other name ugly,bad, stupid, I was every, every
other adjective that you couldthink of and I'm like I am being
abused.
Right, it was almost likecheckpoints, like this is really
happening, but what it did waswith my child.
So I was so excited to have myson and, just like I stated
(07:26):
before, god made all theseprovisions for me.
But at the same time, it wasalmost like you know, I now have
this knowledge, you know whatis this.
But I began to make plans in myhead like if this doesn't get
better, you know if, if, if.
And the attempt was we hadalready been to counseling, we
(07:48):
had already, you know, at thetime he had stopped going to
church with me.
I was already in my head like,okay, I'm going, I'm going to
have my child start researching,going back, going to law school
, right?
So I start researching certainthings anyway, and and then
(08:12):
moving forward, having the child, I had no idea the emotions
that would come with it.
So here it is.
I have my son, which was thebest, that was like the best
thing in the world, but I hadcomplications after it.
And my mom.
She literally stayed with mealmost a month but then she had
(08:33):
to go with my father.
He had, he had a ministry eventthat he had to go to, so my
mother had to leave and goactually, and he and she was
going to be gone for a while,but I was still having
complications.
So I had, I went through fouryears of my life.
(08:53):
I had.
I went through 14 hours of laborbecause my baby was big, he was
a big boy, he did not want todrop.
So I had to have emergency Csection and so afterwards my
healing process was verydifferent than the norm.
So it was difficult for me tobe able to pick up my son
(09:18):
because of the muscles.
The muscles were cut and then,on top of that, I had air
pockets.
So my incision kept reopening,not because of infection but
because because I had airpockets and they hadn't popped
those air pockets.
So here it is during that sixweeks time frame I'm like in
(09:39):
complete and utter pain and thethird week.
So when my mother left, right atabout that six month timeframe
where I should be able to bemoving pretty well, I still was
struggling a bit.
So as soon as my mom left, assoon as she left, then what you
(10:02):
would consider a coercivecontrol type of abuse occurred.
So he literally took my son.
I was going to through not somuch postpartum in a sense of
postpartum, in a sense of I'mnot a good mother because I
can't pick my child up, and soit was emotional, very emotional
(10:25):
for me, and I wasn't so muchpain too.
It was affecting mybreastfeeding.
So I was going through all ofthose feelings and what he would
say is you should just youshould kill yourself, or I'm
going to have to put you in amental hospital because you know
you.
You just not talking because Iwould cry.
I would cry because it was sodifficult to just be able to
(10:48):
pick.
I could pick him up from theside, but like, pick him up, you
know, throttle to me wasdifficult.
Well, I'm still open and what hedid was in my my son was what,
right at six weeks, he took?
He didn't tell me he was takingmy son.
He took my son, he took himback home to his family, which
(11:12):
was like two, two and a halfhours away, and he didn't tell
me.
And then he just he left.
So here it is.
I'm like where is my child?
Like what is like, what isgoing on.
I woke up to them being gone.
I got in the car, drove myselfto try to to go where I thought
(11:37):
my child would be, which waswith his mother.
She calls him on the phonecause I'm like give me my baby,
give me my child, right, I'm,and I'm open, like my wound is
open, and he's literally on thephone and he's like mom, she,
(11:57):
she doesn't want us to have him.
This is how he's talking andhe's my husband and he's talking
with his mother in that manner.
But then I shouldn't have beensurprised, because even before I
had my son I have to tell thisincident really quick Even
before I had my son, which theseare indicators of, are the
(12:20):
realization when I would, iffinally just settled, I am in a
loveless place.
I was pregnant with my son.
So before just going back, Ihave to tell this I was pregnant
with my son.
Now, during my whole marriage,god blessed me never to run into
any of my exes.
Okay, my exes loved me, not aquestion.
(12:44):
The only reason why therewasn't a moving forward with my
exes is because they did nothave a genuine desire to follow
God.
That was the issue.
The issue was I never hold, Iwould never hold anything over
someone and say you must do thisor you have to do this.
(13:06):
I respected people where theywere and then, if they weren't
in that space, then I would say,hey, it's just, it's not gonna
work because I'm gonna frustrateyou, because I love God, you
don't love God.
Y'all know this, huh.
So I mean love God, right.
So all my exes friends likecool, they understood me, but
(13:32):
there was a genuine, honest,just love care.
So God allowed me never to meetany one of those because and
they was characters, yes, theyweren't ones to be messed with,
especially where I grew up andGod blessed me.
(13:53):
So one he was actually one of myfirst boyfriends.
He had just got cause he wasliving that life.
He got out of prison and he hadcalled my best friend.
And he asked my best friend hey, give me her husband's number.
And I'm literally, I'm like I'mliterally about to drop this
baby any day.
(14:14):
And she called me.
She said can I just give himyour husband's name?
I told him you were married,you're good.
I was like, yeah, you know.
So my husband is sitting on thecouch playing the video game and
he calls.
So my ex-boyfriend calls myhusband and tells my husband,
(14:36):
put my wife on the phone.
And so my husband puts him onspeaker.
He said say that again.
He said man, you heard me.
I said put my wife on the phone.
He said you ain't got no wifeover here.
My husband is talking to him.
And I said so, I'm like.
I said in my spirit, I was likethis joke would better not give
(14:59):
me the phone.
He better not give me a phone.
I'm rubbing my belly.
My son is in, our son is in meand I'm looking at him.
So my ex my ex was on the phonesaid man, let me tell you, the
only reason why you're there isbecause I didn't understand who
she was.
(15:19):
But I understand now I'm out.
He said matter of fact, give meyour address.
He said I'm gonna come pick himup.
I understand she pregnant rightnow, but I and I'll make sure
he knows that you are the father, but I need to come get her.
So I'm sitting there and I'mlooking.
(15:41):
So my ex has been his patientand I'm like because who I dated
before him would have given himthe address and waited.
They would have waited outside,you know, like, please come
through, right, he's pacing andhe's a and I'm on that, he said.
And so my ex on the phone isjust ripping him, give him, give
(16:03):
her the phone to like going in,he hands me the phone and that
moment I said, so I get on.
And he said what kind of punkdid you marry?
And I told my ex, I said myex-boyfriend.
I told him I said hey, man, youcan't call here, you being
(16:26):
disrespectful.
And the reason the place that Iwent was I know God wouldn't be
pleased.
Now my coronal feeling washere's the address, come get me.
But I was like in that moment,would God be pleased?
(16:50):
And he was like and my ex knewmy ex-boyfriend knew he was like
I knew you weren't goingnowhere.
He was like you need some money, you need me to bring you
anything.
Like he said man, he's sorry,that's how.
And I was like you can't dothat, you cannot call here.
Again.
He said okay, baby girl, I gotyou.
(17:12):
He said but if you need me,call me.
But God allowed me to see I'min a loveless place and I'm
going to have to take care of meand this child inside of me.
And from that point it was likeso here it is and I think maybe
(17:34):
two weeks later I had my son.
And then I went through that'swhen I went through having to go
get my son after my supportsystem left and he I'm steady
messing with and that's the carto patrol part.
(17:54):
That's those are the parts thatbegan to get heightened,
because it's you can't imagineI've just had my child and then
you just up and take my childwithout me even knowing.
I wake like I don't know wheremy child is.
So after that I made up in mymind okay, I'm gotta leave.
(18:16):
Like we got to transition out.
I'm in a loveless place.
This is not it.
God is love.
Ain't no love here, like he istrying to destroy me.
So I go, I make moves to go toschool, found out that I could
(18:36):
get free housing, free day careif I enroll into law school.
So I'm making moves like that,then I get.
So this is like my son now isabout six months, and when I
tell you it was peer-bliss, itwas me and him.
So this is one thing.
(18:56):
This is another form of controlmy ex would do.
My ex would come if he was madat me.
He wouldn't talk to me formonths.
He would come in and wouldn't Isay a word to me.
It would be like I'm talking tohim, not a word.
He would talk to me.
It'll be like two, three monthswould pass.
(19:16):
He wouldn't I say a word.
So what I did was I just turnedand talked to my son.
So my son, my son, was probablymore advanced.
We had a blast, though, becauseit was I just poured into him.
We did.
(19:39):
He was six, seven months.
He was just one of those.
I read to him all the time, Italked to him all the time, his
speech by the time, just movingforward, his speech by about one
, two, three years old.
I never just baby talked to him.
Now I did like I did, of course, the love mommy's baby, I still
(19:59):
do that now where he rose hiseyes.
But I mean, I poured into him.
I identified when, during thattimeframe, I identified that he
we watched ESPN.
Yes, I'm a sports mom to date.
I love the football season,basketball, baseball.
(20:24):
On certain days track like I'mjust that one.
So our thing was football.
Saturday my son was there.
Like he started doing the stanceat two, three months, like
literally he would roll over andjust he just did amazing things
.
So I'm like, okay, I'm gonnatake.
(20:45):
There's no way that I'm gonnaallow him to see, I'm not gonna
allow him to see me beingtreated in this manner.
So I'm like I gotta go.
So I started feeling sick aboutsix, seven months.
He was walking, which was crazyto me, but I started feeling
sick about that timeframe.
So I was like man, I gotta goto the doctor.
(21:07):
Then I get a phone call from mysister-in-law.
She was like hey, are youpregnant?
I was like no way, no way thatI'm pregnant, there's no way.
She's like I need you to go, Ineed you to go test, get tested.
I was like ain't, no way.
So my son had at the time hehad about his cousins they're
(21:29):
all about the same age.
There's like four of them atthe same timeframe.
So at the time, mysister-in-laws.
We were all kind of they werepregnant.
I was like there's no way.
Plus I'm on a mission, there'sno way.
Lo and behold, I was, and that'sa whole other story, but I went
(21:52):
into a deep depression.
I went into a deep depression.
I was like why, like I'mleaving Because it was bad.
When I say it was bad, it wasbad.
And I was like I got to go andno, so here it is.
(22:21):
By this time, of course, hemoved us again.
So that's the thing it would bemove after move after move.
So he moved us again and bythis time I'm wearing I mean,
I'm depressed and I don't knowwhy but I chose this wig, I wore
(22:43):
this wig and the closet becamemy best friend.
So we moved into this house,which I was.
I was happy, it was a largerplace, but it was the same Like
it was like you never knew.
It was like Dr Jekyll-Missileyou never knew what temperament
(23:04):
you were getting.
And then I wasn't talked to.
So I would, every now and thenI got on a schedule, pick my son
up, go to, like he knew, likewe would go to the.
The closet just becamesomething which a lot of
survivors, or something thatencompasses them and gives them
(23:25):
some sort of peace, or worththis horrible wig, but don't get
it twisted.
I was still cute, but it was.
It was like my mama thought Iwas going bald.
I had a head full of hair underthat.
I had a head full of hair undermy head, but I was.
I was depressed.
Speaker 2 (23:42):
I got a hope, somebody.
It's something that you saidand I just wanted to shine light
on it.
And just listening to yourstory.
Whenever I hear people'sstories, I like to like, I like
to see where God is in itBecause, you know, even through
our ups and our downs, god issomewhere within our story.
And I like you brought up twothings.
(24:03):
I like the fact that youpointed out that when your
ex-boyfriend called you, eventhough you was going through
what you was going through atthe home with him, you still
found enough strength to coverhim and even you know, and
that's what I like so I've seenGod in that situation, in that
aspect.
But when you mentioned that youwent through a depression
because again, I have a realcrowd, real listeners, and
(24:27):
someone basically, yeah, she'ssharing her story, like like
she's going through thisdepression, like where's God is
in it, how did you find thatsource of encouragement to
continue to persevere and keepgoing?
So that's what I want to askyou Like I know you mentioned
that you was depressed becauseyou sound like you're in a dark
place right now.
You're going through a lotwithin the home.
(24:47):
So how did you find that sourceof encouragement?
I know you had your son.
You're talking to your son, butI'm talking about, I want to
hear some of the things that youdid spiritually to uplift
yourself.
Because I brought that up?
Because there was a season inmy life, in my walk, when I had
a real dark time and then I hadto find different sources,
(25:08):
spiritual sources, to encourageme during my dark time.
So I want you to share thatwith us.
When you was depressed, whatyou know what, what was some of
the things that you did touplift yourself spiritually?
Speaker 1 (25:19):
So definitely.
So everything was a fight,everything.
So by this time, me attemptingto go to the grocery store to
buy groceries was not an option.
I was almost.
It was like I was stuck at homea lot, unless I was, unless,
(25:39):
unless he said, hey, let's go tohis, his family's home.
But it was like I was stuck.
My saving grace, which I believeeverybody should have, someone
who loves them so much andthat's so connected with God
that they can see what'shappening in your world without
you saying a word, my mom, mymom would just pop over.
(26:04):
My mom would feel therefrigerator when we I mean we
didn't have.
He would be gone and make maybea day and a half and then come
back due to his job and I'mlooking like I have nothing to
feed my child, and then my momwould just pop up.
It was nobody but God.
There'd be times where keysdepended on if he was mad at me.
(26:26):
If keys were taken, I did notmiss church.
I don't care how bloated Ilooked, if my wig was shifted to
the side of my, the side of myhead, I did not.
I did not miss church, whichwas so.
That was the blessing, becauseI would go.
(26:48):
And there was this deacon's wifeand she would come and she
wouldn't say one word to me, butshe would come and sit next to
me and just hold my son and playwith my son in the back.
And that moment I get emotionalthinking about it.
She didn't say it and she'spivoted, like she's a pivotal
(27:08):
part of my life after having mysecond child.
But she didn't say one word.
She would just come and shewould just take him and she
would just hold him and playwith him.
And then I was at the time, Iwas still searching the
scriptures because I was sayingand I'm talking, I'm literally
(27:30):
reaching out and I'm just askinggeneral questions that no one
was answering within the body,and I would literally use this
term loveless.
I said what if you're in aloveless place?
Like, am I supposed to just?
I know I'm in a loveless place,am I supposed to just stay here
(27:53):
, like?
But no one could answer thatand even my parents couldn't
fathom it because they aresurrounded by love.
So their responses to me wasalmost like well, what are you
talking about?
It's almost like that doesn'tin their world.
It doesn't happen.
But I'm sitting here like therewere times where I would wake
(28:18):
up and just be like sad that Iwoke my eyes up.
Speaker 2 (28:24):
Stay tuned for more as we delve more into
Elizabeth's powerful, god-giventestimony.
See you next week.
That's it for now, but beforewe go, please continue to listen
, subscribe, share our podcast.
Also, if you want to supportour show, please scroll down to
the bottom of the show notes andclick on the link that says buy
(28:45):
me a coffee.
We were greatly appreciated.
Thank you for listening andremember God is good all the
time, and all the time God isgood and also Jesus Christ loves
you.
Thank you.
This is one thing.
This is another form of controlmy ex would do.
My ex would come if he was madat me.
He wouldn't talk to me formonths.
He would come in and wouldn't Isay a word to me.
It would be like I'm talking tohim, not a word.
He would talk.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
Welcome to the Call by God podcast with Adne Godin
and myself, nixon Sylvain.
This show is about dialogues ofbiblical characters and
testimonies of Christians whosubmitted to the will of God.
Each week we bring on one guestso that they can share their
story of how they were called byGod.
I hope this show inspires you.
(00:40):
Enjoy Hello and welcome worldto the Call by God podcast.
I'm yours truly, brother Nick,and I'm here with Sister Adne,
and we have a special guest.
Well, she's been here before,she's not a stranger Sister
Elizabeth Stewart Williams.
Welcome to the show again.
Thank you again for coming on.
(01:01):
We welcome you, we enjoyed yourpresence and we thank you for
saying yes to another call.
We appreciate you.
Before we dive into your episode, adne and I were so intrigued
by your episode I mean youshared so much nuggets with us.
First of all, you talked aboutyour call.
You talked about when you wascalled by God at 10 years old
(01:23):
and in my mind I know whenpeople are brought into the body
of Christ, we know that aservant is not greater than his
master.
Whatever that Jesus Christ wentthrough, we're going to go
through too, because JesusChrist was God and he was this
good man just walking here onearth, just talking about the
gospel, healing folks and doingall the good works.
(01:44):
But I know that when Christianssay yes to the gospel, we know
that Satan is interested.
Interested because it's like webecome a target.
So Satan is interested inputting us back in to his family
.
So I pose a question to you.
I mean because I just justlooking at your whole resume,
your whole life, you know allthese ministries that you're
involved in, precious jewelslists if on dispute resolution
(02:08):
services and founder you are thefounder, I am pro se.
So I say, hold up.
How did all this stuff comeabout?
And you took us way back.
I know we talked about goingback to the future and it was
good that you brought us wayback, because it's one thing
just to share your story, butit's one thing to kind of like
highlight the origin of howeverything came about.
(02:30):
Because I know for a personthat has been saved, this young,
as I mentioned, you had to gothrough some stuff.
And as we go through stuff, weknow as we go through stuff in
life and even in ministries, weknow we continue to evolve and
grow.
So I know you're doing somepowerful things, but I know the
last time you was on becausewe're this month, this whole
month is dedicated to you tobring awareness to domestic
(02:50):
violence.
But I know we left off of yourstory when you started talking
about baby number one, so kindof like walk us through, walk us
through and take us back tothat place where you once were
end out abusive relationship andbaby number one.
Speaker 1 (03:07):
First, thank you.
It's an honor to be here, so tojust dive right in and I want
to make sure that there is anunderstanding.
Like domestic violence, manytimes it doesn't just abruptly
happen right.
(03:28):
There are steps that come withthat and one of the main are a
huge step that came in mysituation.
It started off with what youwould call coercive control and
I didn't bring this up last timebut I want to bring this in.
So coercive control, it's a term.
(03:50):
Basically it states or itimplies like threats or force.
But coercive control is very,it can start out very subtle.
So it can start off withfinancial control.
It can start off with autonomy,basically the removal of any
type of autonomy in your worldhumiliation, isolation, a lot of
(04:12):
verbal abuse and then it canlead to things like assault or
sexual coercion.
It can lead to monitoring allof your activities.
So a lot of times it's notinitial.
So, like the examples that Igave, I would go to work and
(04:34):
then come home and I've beencompletely removed.
I was completely removed out ofmy environment, but I was
removed or moved further awayfrom any support system that I
had, so any community that I hadwhen I would come home and he's
(04:54):
completely moved us.
It's further out, it's notfurther in to the people that I
love and care for.
So, in moving, god-allowingbaby to a baby to come forth, it
was actually at a time where Iliterally found out that I was
actually being abused.
(05:15):
And this is how God works.
I worked at a law firm at thetime and they were volunteering
for a domestic violenceorganization and we had to
complete these.
In order to be a volunteer, youhad to kind of go through the
process of what a survivor goesthrough and there was a test
(05:36):
that was given to determine ifyou were in a state of abuse.
And so I'm looking, I'm fillingthis test out and in this test
it's literally telling me youknow, does he cuss at you?
Does he?
Yeah, like you're answeringthese questions and you're going
at the bottom and then there'sa tally and then there's a
(05:58):
number that's given of if youneed to stay, if you just need
referral services or if you needto run In that test.
It literally told me to runRight.
Literally told me like get out,but I'm pregnant.
And I'm like, wait what?
(06:21):
Because a lot of times,especially black women,
especially those who come fromand this is the thing I come
from a very loving my parentswere a loving relationship home.
I didn't know what the signswere, I didn't understand what I
was going through, but here itis and I'm asking God, like why
(06:43):
now?
Why am I being informed thisnow?
And I have a child with thisperson?
So it only became, it progressedto get worse and I'm
recognizing oh, like he didn'tcuss me, but I was.
(07:03):
You know every other name ugly,bad, stupid, I was every, every
other adjective that you couldthink of and I'm like I am being
abused.
Right, it was almost likecheckpoints, like this is really
happening, but what it did waswith my child.
So I was so excited to have myson and, just like I stated
(07:26):
before, god made all theseprovisions for me.
But at the same time, it wasalmost like you know, I now have
this knowledge, you know whatis this.
But I began to make plans in myhead like if this doesn't get
better, you know if, if, if.
And the attempt was we hadalready been to counseling, we
(07:48):
had already, you know, at thetime he had stopped going to
church with me.
I was already in my head like,okay, I'm going, I'm going to
have my child start researching,going back, going to law school
, right?
So I start researching certainthings anyway, and and then
(08:12):
moving forward, having the child, I had no idea the emotions
that would come with it.
So here it is.
I have my son, which was thebest, that was like the best
thing in the world, but I hadcomplications after it.
And my mom.
She literally stayed with mealmost a month but then she had
(08:33):
to go with my father.
He had, he had a ministry eventthat he had to go to, so my
mother had to leave and goactually, and he and she was
going to be gone for a while,but I was still having
complications.
So I had, I went through fouryears of my life.
(08:53):
I had.
I went through 14 hours of laborbecause my baby was big, he was
a big boy, he did not want todrop.
So I had to have emergency Csection and so afterwards my
healing process was verydifferent than the norm.
So it was difficult for me tobe able to pick up my son
(09:18):
because of the muscles.
The muscles were cut and then,on top of that, I had air
pockets.
So my incision kept reopening,not because of infection but
because because I had airpockets and they hadn't popped
those air pockets.
So here it is during that sixweeks time frame I'm like in
(09:39):
complete and utter pain and thethird week.
So when my mother left, right atabout that six month timeframe
where I should be able to bemoving pretty well, I still was
struggling a bit.
So as soon as my mom left, assoon as she left, then what you
(10:02):
would consider a coercivecontrol type of abuse occurred.
So he literally took my son.
I was going to through not somuch postpartum in a sense of
postpartum, in a sense of I'mnot a good mother because I
can't pick my child up, and soit was emotional, very emotional
(10:25):
for me, and I wasn't so muchpain too.
It was affecting mybreastfeeding.
So I was going through all ofthose feelings and what he would
say is you should just youshould kill yourself, or I'm
going to have to put you in amental hospital because you know
you.
You just not talking because Iwould cry.
I would cry because it was sodifficult to just be able to
(10:48):
pick.
I could pick him up from theside, but like, pick him up, you
know, throttle to me wasdifficult.
Well, I'm still open and what hedid was in my my son was what,
right at six weeks, he took?
He didn't tell me he was takingmy son.
He took my son, he took himback home to his family, which
(11:12):
was like two, two and a halfhours away, and he didn't tell
me.
And then he just he left.
So here it is.
I'm like where is my child?
Like what is like, what isgoing on.
I woke up to them being gone.
I got in the car, drove myselfto try to to go where I thought
(11:37):
my child would be, which waswith his mother.
She calls him on the phonecause I'm like give me my baby,
give me my child, right, I'm,and I'm open, like my wound is
open, and he's literally on thephone and he's like mom, she,
(11:57):
she doesn't want us to have him.
This is how he's talking andhe's my husband and he's talking
with his mother in that manner.
But then I shouldn't have beensurprised, because even before I
had my son I have to tell thisincident really quick Even
before I had my son, which theseare indicators of, are the
(12:20):
realization when I would, iffinally just settled, I am in a
loveless place.
I was pregnant with my son.
So before just going back, Ihave to tell this I was pregnant
with my son.
Now, during my whole marriage,god blessed me never to run into
any of my exes.
Okay, my exes loved me, not aquestion.
(12:44):
The only reason why therewasn't a moving forward with my
exes is because they did nothave a genuine desire to follow
God.
That was the issue.
The issue was I never hold, Iwould never hold anything over
someone and say you must do thisor you have to do this.
(13:06):
I respected people where theywere and then, if they weren't
in that space, then I would say,hey, it's just, it's not gonna
work because I'm gonna frustrateyou, because I love God, you
don't love God.
Y'all know this, huh.
So I mean love God, right.
So all my exes friends likecool, they understood me, but
(13:32):
there was a genuine, honest,just love care.
So God allowed me never to meetany one of those because and
they was characters, yes, theyweren't ones to be messed with,
especially where I grew up andGod blessed me.
(13:53):
So one he was actually one of myfirst boyfriends.
He had just got cause he wasliving that life.
He got out of prison and he hadcalled my best friend.
And he asked my best friend hey, give me her husband's number.
And I'm literally, I'm like I'mliterally about to drop this
baby any day.
(14:14):
And she called me.
She said can I just give himyour husband's name?
I told him you were married,you're good.
I was like, yeah, you know.
So my husband is sitting on thecouch playing the video game and
he calls.
So my ex-boyfriend calls myhusband and tells my husband,
(14:36):
put my wife on the phone.
And so my husband puts him onspeaker.
He said say that again.
He said man, you heard me.
I said put my wife on the phone.
He said you ain't got no wifeover here.
My husband is talking to him.
And I said so, I'm like.
I said in my spirit, I was likethis joke would better not give
(14:59):
me the phone.
He better not give me a phone.
I'm rubbing my belly.
My son is in, our son is in meand I'm looking at him.
So my ex my ex was on the phonesaid man, let me tell you, the
only reason why you're there isbecause I didn't understand who
she was.
(15:19):
But I understand now I'm out.
He said matter of fact, give meyour address.
He said I'm gonna come pick himup.
I understand she pregnant rightnow, but I and I'll make sure
he knows that you are the father, but I need to come get her.
So I'm sitting there and I'mlooking.
(15:41):
So my ex has been his patientand I'm like because who I dated
before him would have given himthe address and waited.
They would have waited outside,you know, like, please come
through, right, he's pacing andhe's a and I'm on that, he said.
And so my ex on the phone isjust ripping him, give him, give
(16:03):
her the phone to like going in,he hands me the phone and that
moment I said, so I get on.
And he said what kind of punkdid you marry?
And I told my ex, I said myex-boyfriend.
I told him I said hey, man, youcan't call here, you being
(16:26):
disrespectful.
And the reason the place that Iwent was I know God wouldn't be
pleased.
Now my coronal feeling washere's the address, come get me.
But I was like in that moment,would God be pleased?
(16:50):
And he was like and my ex knewmy ex-boyfriend knew he was like
I knew you weren't goingnowhere.
He was like you need some money, you need me to bring you
anything.
Like he said man, he's sorry,that's how.
And I was like you can't dothat, you cannot call here.
Again.
He said okay, baby girl, I gotyou.
(17:12):
He said but if you need me,call me.
But God allowed me to see I'min a loveless place and I'm
going to have to take care of meand this child inside of me.
And from that point it was likeso here it is and I think maybe
(17:34):
two weeks later I had my son.
And then I went through that'swhen I went through having to go
get my son after my supportsystem left and he I'm steady
messing with and that's the carto patrol part.
(17:54):
That's those are the parts thatbegan to get heightened,
because it's you can't imagineI've just had my child and then
you just up and take my childwithout me even knowing.
I wake like I don't know wheremy child is.
So after that I made up in mymind okay, I'm gotta leave.
(18:16):
Like we got to transition out.
I'm in a loveless place.
This is not it.
God is love.
Ain't no love here, like he istrying to destroy me.
So I go, I make moves to go toschool, found out that I could
(18:36):
get free housing, free day careif I enroll into law school.
So I'm making moves like that,then I get.
So this is like my son now isabout six months, and when I
tell you it was peer-bliss, itwas me and him.
So this is one thing.
(18:56):
This is another form of controlmy ex would do.
My ex would come if he was madat me.
He wouldn't talk to me formonths.
He would come in and wouldn't Isay a word to me.
It would be like I'm talking tohim, not a word.
He would talk to me.
It'll be like two, three monthswould pass.
(19:16):
He wouldn't I say a word.
So what I did was I just turnedand talked to my son.
So my son, my son, was probablymore advanced.
We had a blast, though, becauseit was I just poured into him.
We did.
(19:39):
He was six, seven months.
He was just one of those.
I read to him all the time, Italked to him all the time, his
speech by the time, just movingforward, his speech by about one
, two, three years old.
I never just baby talked to him.
Now I did like I did, of course, the love mommy's baby, I still
(19:59):
do that now where he rose hiseyes.
But I mean, I poured into him.
I identified when, during thattimeframe, I identified that he
we watched ESPN.
Yes, I'm a sports mom to date.
I love the football season,basketball, baseball.
(20:24):
On certain days track like I'mjust that one.
So our thing was football.
Saturday my son was there.
Like he started doing the stanceat two, three months, like
literally he would roll over andjust he just did amazing things
.
So I'm like, okay, I'm gonnatake.
(20:45):
There's no way that I'm gonnaallow him to see, I'm not gonna
allow him to see me beingtreated in this manner.
So I'm like I gotta go.
So I started feeling sick aboutsix, seven months.
He was walking, which was crazyto me, but I started feeling
sick about that timeframe.
So I was like man, I gotta goto the doctor.
(21:07):
Then I get a phone call from mysister-in-law.
She was like hey, are youpregnant?
I was like no way, no way thatI'm pregnant, there's no way.
She's like I need you to go, Ineed you to go test, get tested.
I was like ain't, no way.
So my son had at the time hehad about his cousins they're
(21:29):
all about the same age.
There's like four of them atthe same timeframe.
So at the time, mysister-in-laws.
We were all kind of they werepregnant.
I was like there's no way.
Plus I'm on a mission, there'sno way.
Lo and behold, I was, and that'sa whole other story, but I went
(21:52):
into a deep depression.
I went into a deep depression.
I was like why, like I'mleaving Because it was bad.
When I say it was bad, it wasbad.
And I was like I got to go andno, so here it is.
(22:21):
By this time, of course, hemoved us again.
So that's the thing it would bemove after move after move.
So he moved us again and bythis time I'm wearing I mean,
I'm depressed and I don't knowwhy but I chose this wig, I wore
(22:43):
this wig and the closet becamemy best friend.
So we moved into this house,which I was.
I was happy, it was a largerplace, but it was the same Like
it was like you never knew.
It was like Dr Jekyll-Missileyou never knew what temperament
(23:04):
you were getting.
And then I wasn't talked to.
So I would, every now and thenI got on a schedule, pick my son
up, go to, like he knew, likewe would go to the.
The closet just becamesomething which a lot of
survivors, or something thatencompasses them and gives them
(23:25):
some sort of peace, or worththis horrible wig, but don't get
it twisted.
I was still cute, but it was.
It was like my mama thought Iwas going bald.
I had a head full of hair underthat.
I had a head full of hair undermy head, but I was.
I was depressed.
Speaker 2 (23:42):
I got a hope, somebody.
It's something that you saidand I just wanted to shine light
on it.
And just listening to yourstory.
Whenever I hear people'sstories, I like to like, I like
to see where God is in itBecause, you know, even through
our ups and our downs, god issomewhere within our story.
And I like you brought up twothings.
(24:03):
I like the fact that youpointed out that when your
ex-boyfriend called you, eventhough you was going through
what you was going through atthe home with him, you still
found enough strength to coverhim and even you know, and
that's what I like so I've seenGod in that situation, in that
aspect.
But when you mentioned that youwent through a depression
because again, I have a realcrowd, real listeners, and
(24:27):
someone basically, yeah, she'ssharing her story, like like
she's going through thisdepression, like where's God is
in it, how did you find thatsource of encouragement to
continue to persevere and keepgoing?
So that's what I want to askyou Like I know you mentioned
that you was depressed becauseyou sound like you're in a dark
place right now.
You're going through a lotwithin the home.
(24:47):
So how did you find that sourceof encouragement?
I know you had your son.
You're talking to your son, butI'm talking about, I want to
hear some of the things that youdid spiritually to uplift
yourself.
Because I brought that up?
Because there was a season inmy life, in my walk, when I had
a real dark time and then I hadto find different sources,
(25:08):
spiritual sources, to encourageme during my dark time.
So I want you to share thatwith us.
When you was depressed, whatyou know what, what was some of
the things that you did touplift yourself spiritually?
Speaker 1 (25:19):
So definitely.
So everything was a fight,everything.
So by this time, me attemptingto go to the grocery store to
buy groceries was not an option.
I was almost.
It was like I was stuck at homea lot, unless I was, unless,
(25:39):
unless he said, hey, let's go tohis, his family's home.
But it was like I was stuck.
My saving grace, which I believeeverybody should have, someone
who loves them so much andthat's so connected with God
that they can see what'shappening in your world without
you saying a word, my mom, mymom would just pop over.
(26:04):
My mom would feel therefrigerator when we I mean we
didn't have.
He would be gone and make maybea day and a half and then come
back due to his job and I'mlooking like I have nothing to
feed my child, and then my momwould just pop up.
It was nobody but God.
There'd be times where keysdepended on if he was mad at me.
(26:26):
If keys were taken, I did notmiss church.
I don't care how bloated Ilooked, if my wig was shifted to
the side of my, the side of myhead, I did not.
I did not miss church, whichwas so.
That was the blessing, becauseI would go.
(26:48):
And there was this deacon's wifeand she would come and she
wouldn't say one word to me, butshe would come and sit next to
me and just hold my son and playwith my son in the back.
And that moment I get emotionalthinking about it.
She didn't say it and she'spivoted, like she's a pivotal
(27:08):
part of my life after having mysecond child.
But she didn't say one word.
She would just come and shewould just take him and she
would just hold him and playwith him.
And then I was at the time, Iwas still searching the
scriptures because I was sayingand I'm talking, I'm literally
(27:30):
reaching out and I'm just askinggeneral questions that no one
was answering within the body,and I would literally use this
term loveless.
I said what if you're in aloveless place?
Like, am I supposed to just?
I know I'm in a loveless place,am I supposed to just stay here
(27:53):
, like?
But no one could answer thatand even my parents couldn't
fathom it because they aresurrounded by love.
So their responses to me wasalmost like well, what are you
talking about?
It's almost like that doesn'tin their world.
It doesn't happen.
But I'm sitting here like therewere times where I would wake
(28:18):
up and just be like sad that Iwoke my eyes up.
Speaker 2 (28:24):
Stay tuned for more as we delve more into
Elizabeth's powerful, god-giventestimony.
See you next week.
That's it for now, but beforewe go, please continue to listen
, subscribe, share our podcast.
Also, if you want to supportour show, please scroll down to
the bottom of the show notes andclick on the link that says buy
(28:45):
me a coffee.
We were greatly appreciated.
Thank you for listening andremember God is good all the
time, and all the time God isgood and also Jesus Christ loves
you.
Thank you.
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