Ep. 50 - “DbD Slug Match of the Century!” – SABAM vs The Proper Parasites

It’s Episode 50, baby! The big one. And this one drops harder than a survivor main after their Boon: Exponential fizzles out mid-crawl.

The Toxic Teacher kicks things off with a blood-soaked retrospective—celebrating over a year of carnage, controversy, and culturally offensive build choices in Dead by Daylight. He breaks down the 8.7.0 PTB with surgical malice, roasts the “Fortnite-ass” quest system, and delivers a heatstroke-inducing rant about the Steady Pulse teaser. Then? He rage-recaps a Hawkins Lab match where some Claudette main ran the “Don’t You Dare Slug Me, You Absolute Bastard” build. Spoiler: she got slugged so hard her spine learned Morse code.

Enter me—Nicky “Noodle Arms” A.I. Dente. I unleash a full marinara-fueled meltdown on BHVR’s new UI, declaring it a “participation trophy parade for UI interns who’ve never seen sunlight,” and accuse the survivor community of “Dungeons & Dragons necromancy.” Then Earl Grey shows up, monocle-first, with the audacity to defend the build like it’s some Churchillian war poem. So I respond the only way that matters: with the Slug of Destiny™. And we all suffer.

Then? It takes a sharp left turn into cryptid-fueled chaos.

We investigate Harrisburg, Illinois—home of a real listener—and stumble headfirst into their annual Sasquatch Festival. Naturally, I’ve got a story. One that involves a crypto-based pasta scam, a meatball racketeering charge, a vault full of counterfeit spaghetti coins, and a tense standoff in the Shawnee National Forest that Earl still claims “was never formally documented.”

🍝 Nicky’s Body Count – Ep. 50 Stats

• Survivor mains roasted: 9
• Forum meltdowns read aloud: 6
• Sasquatch sightings denied: 3
• Sasquatch sightings confirmed: 1 (pending litigation)
• Slugs delivered with malice: 4
• Soundboard meltdowns triggered: 12
• British phrases mocked mid-sentence: 14
• Times someone should’ve disconnected: all of them

🎧 Bonus Segments: 

• “The Basement is My Birthright”
• “Earl Grey and the Slugger’s Symphony”
• “Filthy McNasty and the Bigfoot Brigade”

This isn’t just a podcast. It’s a séance.
 Respect the sauce. Embrace the slug. Welcome to Season 2.

Send Toxic a message! (Question? Comment? Concern? Survivor main and need rehab?)

Check me out everywhere!

https://linktr.ee/thetoxicteacher

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
And this is camping them fucking softly, where we
talk about dead by daylight forfive minutes and then random
bullshit for the other 40 Makingmoney by being fucking funny.

Speaker 2 (00:14):
Touching teachers, camping them softly.
Teaching fools, making them toschool.
Touching teachers, camping themsoftly.

Speaker 1 (00:34):
Oh, hey, it is episode 50 on Camping them
Softly.
You are here for episode number50.
This is a big deal.
Satan is in the house today.
Thank you, satan, for coming by.
I appreciate it.
We couldn't have it any otherway.

(00:54):
Any other way, man we've got,the soundboard is still here.
Let's yeah, we've got.
Hey, we've got the yes.
There they are.
There they are.
I couldn't live without thisthing.
Hey guys, episode 50.
We have made it.
We've been out.
What a year and three monthshere.

(01:15):
We've got literally tens ofthousands of listeners from
almost every continent.
Remember I finally penetratedAfrica.
Antarctica is the last one togo and we're going to get there.
If I have anything to say aboutit, you got to give him that
hawk poo and spit on that thing.
Hope everyone is doing well,guys, for those of you who don't

(01:35):
know, this is Camping themSoftly and I am the Toxic
Teacher.
You can find me on all thosesocials Toxic Teacher TTV.
You, you can find me on allthose socials, toxic Teacher TTV
.
You can also find me on YouTube, the Toxic Teacher.
And then, if you want to be onthe show, if you want to argue,
if you are a survivor main andyou need therapy, you need
counseling.
Shoot me an email, shoot me amessage on one of those socials.

(01:58):
We will get you on here and wewill have it out.
Because that's, you know, youguys need to learn.
I mean, that's just the way itis, because we've talked over
and over about the, about themadness that is Survivor Mains
right.
There's just, there's so muchto it and it's so multi-layered,

(02:20):
like a fucking onion.
You know what I mean, and itdoesn't make me cry like onions
do, but it does stink like shit.
So there's that.
Hey guys, where's my survivor?
Are you back there?
Thank you, thank you, yes, okay.
So, guys, we have got a fewthings on the show.

(02:42):
Remember, I said we're going tohave something special and
we'll get to that toward the endof the show, something we've
never done before.
So, trust me, it's good, thoughit's good and it's worth
listening to.
So I think, starting next week,we'll do video podcasts.
That's one of the big thingsthat I want to switch over to.
I want to have more video stuff, and we are uh, yes, satan,

(03:05):
thank you.
Next week on Can't Be GotSoftly we have a video podcast,
maybe, if I'm not too lazy toactually fucking do it.
So that's, that's the excitingthing.
Also, by the way, just FYI, I amgetting, I am making progress
on some other technical thingsthat talked about in the discord

(03:27):
, you know.
So there's also that.
I'm also trying not to say umas much, because I've noticed if
you had a drinking game whereyou drank every time, I said um,
you would die of fuckingalcohol poisoning.
Yes, it's hilarious, thank you.
So that's, that's that for the.
I almost said it.

(03:48):
I almost said it.
That's it for the hang on.
See, I'm not going to say I'mnot going to say it, but I'm
trying to think of what I wantto say and whenever I try to
think, you know how you do theums and ahs and all that stuff.
I'm not going to do that, I amnot going to do that.
And what was I even going tosay?
I can't even think of what Iwas going to say.
Oh, here we go, here we go.

(04:09):
We have some dead by daylightstuff to talk about.
Surprisingly enough, weactually have something.
I didn't know if we would, doyou remember?
I didn't know if we would havesomething.
We actually do have something.
So there's a special song, Ithink.
If I can pull it up.
There it is.

(04:30):
That's it.
You know it.
You know it though, right, it'sso fucking loud too.
Yeah, we're talking about Deadby Daylight guys.
It's time.
Who wants to talk about Dead byDaylight?
Most of the time, dead byDaylight players don't want to
talk about it.

(04:50):
Survivors OP.
No, I can't sing, I'm not evengoing to fucking try, it's a
mess.
Yeah, palettes, I'm going toname my first child Palette,
like, instead of Colette.
Palette, it's a.

(05:11):
I can use this time to take adrink and, like, do other stuff.
You know, because we're allinto the song, we're not even
paying attention to the podcastanymore.
Okay, all, look the song.
We're not even paying attentionto the podcast anymore.
Okay, all, look the same.
There is a mad update here, bythe way.
That's what we're here forright now is.

(05:32):
There is a mad, fucking update.
Yes, it's a mad update.
So our update is actually thenew PTB.
We've got 8.7.0.
It's going to be on the PTB.
I don't know if they gave adate.
This update, though, dropped onApril 10th, so that was three

(05:57):
days ago.
Now I'll go through.
I'm not going to go througheverything in here, but I will
kind of hit some of the highpoints.
So this is part of theirquality of life bullshit that
they came up with, and I'm sorryto call it that, but that's
just the first word that comesto mind.
It's going to be survivor, mainquality of life.
That's just what it's going tobe.

(06:19):
It's not going to help thekillers very much, but we'll go
to.
We're going to go through withan open mind.
I haven't read everything.
I did take the chance to likeperuse.
I just browse like I dowhenever I go to the store.
By the way, I spent way toomuch fucking money at the store.
Yes, I had 10 minutes to gothrough my favorite clothing
store before they closed andthey had everything on sale and

(06:41):
I went fucking berserk because Ifound stuff that just, oh my
God, dude, the guy at thecounter.
It's funny.
I'm sorry I have to go off topic.
I know you guys are not happywith that.
See, I'm doing it again.
The guy at the counter was aninteresting gentleman.

(07:01):
He was very charismatic.
I put these clothes up thereand his first reaction was damn.
And he was like he was intothese clothes because he was
like damn boy, you got swag.
I was just laughing and he waslike you're going to look like a
gentleman, like a straight upcertified gentleman.
And I loved it because hereminded me of Hellfire Jackson,

(07:23):
which is, you know, one of myfavorite singers and the high
priest of the toxic cult andalso the antagonist of the
upcoming rock opera, theSummoning of the Toxic Teacher,
that tentative title to thatsong.
So anyway, that's that I gotspent too much on clothes.
What was I going to talk aboutnext?

(07:44):
I can't even remember.
Oh, the, the, uh, the DVDupdate.
That's probably what you'll besaying by the end of this.
So here we'll go through theupdate.
Okay, so it says we haven'tincluded the crunchy numbers.
Now, I guarantee you why theydidn't include the crunchy
numbers is because they're goingto change those fucking numbers

(08:04):
Whenever they, whenever peoplecomplain about numbers, is
because they're going to changethose fucking numbers whenever
they.
Whenever people complain aboutthe killer, they're going to
change those numbers downbecause they don't want people
to know how much they're nerfingkillers.
Now, does that make sense?
It certainly makes sense forthem because it's going to keep
the killers quiet and survivorsare gonna be happy as fuck.
They probably won those numbersbecause they want to see how

(08:27):
badly we're getting fuckingthere anyway.
Okay, so go through the update.
There is a new quest system.
What so the quest system?
What it looks like?
It's going to replace the dailyritual tomes and event tomes.
You know how you have to clickin like 20 different fucking
spots to find everything and youhave to go.

(08:49):
I got to make this thing active, I got to take this one and
like, read this shit and thentry to remember it during the
match and stuff like that.
It said right here on the questthey don't need to be
considered active.
So this is Fortnite.
Essentially, at this point, yougot all these quests as you're
going through.
It's going to fuck.
Hey, you finished this, you did10 of this, you got four of

(09:10):
this, you caught five fish, youkilled somebody with a shotgun,
what the fuck ever Like.
It's just okay.
Milestone quests, which is likethe, the big ones you know hook
, unhook a hundred, unhook 200,unhook 300.
So it says right here you alsoget quest notifications during
the match, maybe.

(09:30):
So that's, it's Fortnite.
So if you are a Fortnite fanwhich, dak, I'm looking at you,
one of our listeners, one of ourlongtime listeners, and he was
like one of the first to likejump out and like follow and say
, hey, a big listener of thepodcast, appreciate you, dak.
Once you get that microphone,we're gonna have a good
interview anyway.

(09:51):
So that's that it says righthere.
Our intention is that we wanttrials to feel even more
rewarding, making in-game tasksand rewards easier to engage
with.
What this means for you is thatyou can complete multiple
quests per trial.
You can pin quests to easilyreference them in game and
rewards are unlockedautomatically to minimizing.

(10:13):
Okay, they grammar, please,anyway.
So let's skip that.
Archives, tome and rift changes.
Extended the number of levelsin the deep rift I'm fine with
that.
That's good.
I'll give that a.
I'll give that a.
There we rift.
I'm fine with that.
That's good.
I'll give that.
Uh, I'll give that a.
There we go.
I'm cool with that.
Updated the rift here followingdeep rift is a replaceable
source of blood points.
Okay, that's fine.

(10:34):
All tome in the compendium isunlocked for all players.
That's fine.
I thought it was bullshit.
A lot of of the Tome entrieswere locked behind the fucking
stupidest challenges.
No sense in that.
So I'm on board.
All right, now let me keepgoing.
Perk, preview and lobby thepeople see their own perks.

(10:58):
There's a little widget whereyou could see your own perks in
the pregame lobby so you don'thave to click on the perk page
and they're saying for newplayers, it's, it's, uh, it's
handy.
I'm, I'm fine with that.
I think that's cool.
Hey, we're doing okay so far.
The quest system Okay, it's,it's fine.
The other two pretty good.

(11:19):
So I'm fine with that.
Uh, pre-equipped items andadd-ons.
Newly unlocked survivors becomepre-equipped with a small set
of add.
Of course they do.
And then newly unlocked killersalso come with add-ons.
That's fine, I don't, I don'tgive a shit.
That's?
Uh, what's a what's?
Where's my thing for that?
No, not that one.
Uh, the other one, uh, what isit?

(11:39):
Yeah, that one, okay, so that'sthat, I would give a shit.
Unhook spam prevention eachsurvivor can attempt to unhook
another survivor three times onthe next attempt.
They cannot cancel eachsurvivor's individual hook
attempt.
Count resets when the hooksurvivor exits a hook state.

(12:01):
So apparently survivors werespamming each other Like they
were.
They were getting toxictogether, which I thought it was
always, you know, directedtoward the killer, but
apparently they're doing it toeach other, so by, like,
pretending to unhook over andover again.
So they are putting a stop tothat.
Uh, let me see, where is that?

(12:22):
Yeah, fine, a stop to that, letme see when is that?
Yeah, fine.
Improved safety checks, orimproved skill check safety net
Apparently sorry, shut the fuckup.
So they're giving a wider range.
You know how, whenever you'relike repairing a gen and the
skill check goes off like rightbefore you let go and it does
that whole thing there.
They're putting a little bufferin there that way that doesn't

(12:45):
happen.
Of course survivors are gonnaget that.
It's garbage.
Um, let me see then.
We got changed to the houndmaster that they're slowing down
snug whenever he vaults.
Of course that's gonna be.
You know, it's too good.
It's too good.
Um, haste and hindered stackingis no longer a thing.

(13:05):
Hex pentimento has been nerfedinto the fucking ground.
Of course it has, because itwas good.
So that's that, and that'spretty much 8.7.0.
That's not a lot.
And they're saying that thisquality of life is going to be
this big thing.
These are not like big things.

(13:26):
That the, the, the tome and thequests Okay, like that's okay.
But is that a whole developerupdate, like if that's all we're
getting in these bigger patches, like that's it's, it's not a
lot.
Is that supposed to beconcerning?
Concerning?
Is it always going to be thatway?
I don't know.
Um, also, next point, if we'regoing to the next thing.

(13:50):
So that was 8.7.0.
The next thing is there's a newsurvivor, steady fucking
something.
You could go on twitter andlisten to the talking, like
talking on the phone orsomething like that.
I don't even fucking know.
I don't care.
They're all trying to guess whothis person is.
But whatever, I don't get it.
Let me see if I could probablyfind the sound if I cared enough

(14:12):
.
I didn't keep it.
I didn't keep it.
Why can't I not?
I just say um over and over,because I'm thinking of the word
.
You know, I think like athousand fucking miles an hour,
but then I don't have the wordsto get what I'm thinking out to
you people, you idiots, and so I.
I started like that and that'swhat happens.

(14:35):
Where is it the steady state,or something like that?
I think what is it called?
Steady, fucking something?
Cool hand Luke or something,something I don't know where.
Oh, there it is.
There it is I am dead tired hangon, I don't think you can hear
it.
I'm gonna have to.
I'm gonna have to pump up thejam here.
Pump up the jam, hang on.
Here we were.

(14:55):
The jam is currently beingpumped I am dead tired are you?

Speaker 5 (15:00):
make matters worse my eyes yeah so bloodshot you
sound?
Nothing comforts a patient likescary ass, red eyes staring
down at him okay I need moresleep okay screams in the dark
is having this big event oh, isthere a tone related?

Speaker 1 (15:17):
no rest for the wicked as it goes wait that was
a am I am I doing too much?
Probably you are.
Yes, you're talking too much.
Oh, there's music, steady pulse, coming fucking, may 6 to uh.
Fucking game near you, asurvivor with overpowered perks.

(15:38):
Shut the fuck up, whoever youare.
Okay, that's that.
That's a new survivor.
I don't know who that is, Idon't care.
I haven't even read comments,because it's going to be
something they're going to giveher.
Apparently, she might betransgendered.
I don't get.
Who the fuck cares about that?
Just give.
Okay, it doesn't matter whatshe's got and what she

(16:02):
identifies, as.
I don't know why people evenget upset about that.
How dare they fucking have alike okay.
Anyway, that's a totallyseparate point that we won't go
into in the anniversary episode50.
That will be for later, okay,anyway, I didn't want that to go
off topic and you know how I do.
So I'm not going to do that.

(16:23):
I will.
I refuse to do that.
We're refusing.
I am in a state of refusal togo into why that doesn't matter
and why it couldn't matter less.
Okay, so we've got the 8.7.0just came out, but you know that
we have to get somebody else'sopinion, and I think you know

(16:47):
who that person is None otherthan Nikki AI Dente, our good
friend Nikki, thank you forcoming by.
I'm going to give you a littleround of applause there.
Okay, nikki, for better orworse, I don't know, he went

(17:09):
into unhinged lunatic modewhenever he saw, oh God, the
last word.
I just saw the last word ofwhat he said, and the last word
is bitch.
So I um.
Good luck everybody.
This could, this could be bad,hang on.
I'm copying and pasting in thenotes and I said what do you

(17:31):
think about this?
Tell me your thoughts on 8.7.

Speaker 3 (17:33):
Hey, though jesus hearing this shit yeah 8.70 tB
is dropping in hotter than UncleNaki's ankles in a sauna.
Okay.
And I'm sweating through mytracksuit.
Just reading this goddamn devupdate, you sound like you're in
a fucking Nikki shut the fuckup.

Speaker 1 (17:51):
I can't hear you because you sound like you're in
a fucking tunnel for somereason.
Hang on, let me, let me getNikki back here.
This is, uh, what is wrong withhim today.
He is, he's kind of losing it alittle bit.
Hang on, let me, let me see.
If I do this, I'm going to, I'mgoing to get him kind of
behaving better.
Uh, that's not it, that's notit.

(18:11):
Oh no, you almost heard that wasthe other one.
Oh no, you almost heard thatwas the other one.
Oh shit, I almost fucked it up.
Hang on.
Hang on.
Hang on.
Okay, let's see, there we goand we've got here like that and
I think that's better.
I think that's better.
Shut the fuck up for a second.

(18:32):
We're having technical issueson Camping Room Next week on
Camping Room Softly.
We experience technical issues,as we do every single fucking
week, and episode 50 isabsolutely no different.

Speaker 3 (18:44):
You hearing this shit ?
Here he is, 8.70 PTBs droppingin, hotter than Uncle Naki's
ankles in a sauna.

Speaker 1 (18:51):
Okay, and.

Speaker 3 (18:52):
I'm sweating through my tracksuit just reading this
goddamn dev update.
Why First?
Of all the quest system.
What in the actual anti-Italianfuck is this?

Speaker 1 (19:02):
What is it, oh Jesus?
Oh sure he's.
He's.
Where's the devil?
I can't with this.
How long is he gonna?

Speaker 3 (19:15):
Took him out back, put two in the spaghetti and
called it progress.
No, no, no.
Now we got quests.
Sounds like some medievalBritish RPG bullshit, like Earl
Grey's trying to turn DBD intoElden fucking Ring Cheebagged
edition.
So now you got your dailies,your rift shit and your event
tasks all mashed together in onesloppy antipasto of grind and
you don't even gotta clickanything to activate them.

Speaker 1 (19:36):
No more is that bad?

Speaker 3 (19:37):
you just automatically get rewarded yeah,
playing is that bad brother,bro?
What brother?
This isn't a game anymore whatis it?
It's a goddamn participationtrophy parade.
I remember when you had tobleed for those blood points you
did, yes, I remember when youhad to tunnel for those blood
points?
You did yes, remember when youhad to tunnel for your rituals.

Speaker 1 (19:59):
Yeah, that was, this is some kindergarten cooking
class bullshit.
He's not wrong.
He is not fucking wrong.
You are.
Yes, that will get that.
I mean he's not wrong.
They're making it easier andeasier.
Maybe they're trying to appeal,hey, because of Five Nights at
Freddy's is coming out.
They're easier.

Speaker 3 (20:21):
maybe they're trying to appeal, hey because of five
nights at freddy's is coming out.
They're trying to appeal tochildren now with this murderous
game and the killers on thefucking rampage.
And what's this milestone questnonsense?
You reward me for hookingpeople repeatedly.
Now are you?
I've been doing that for eightyears.
Where's my back pay?
Where's my ghost face pension?
That's true.
I built this system off ofhooks and basement blood.
Now suddenly that's new.
Hey, that's right.
And pinned quests.

(20:42):
You mean I can stare at myquests while I'm playing instead
of thinking about strategy.
How is he so fucking?

Speaker 1 (20:47):
genius.

Speaker 3 (20:50):
Except for that, oh my God, he was sounding great
yeah.
What the fuck is happening,yeah.

Speaker 1 (21:06):
Not me, you can apparently, they do, they do,
they did.

Speaker 3 (21:19):
Okay.

Speaker 1 (21:28):
Oh God.

Speaker 3 (21:33):
Jesus Christ, he's losing it, man 2019.
Jesus Christ, now they'regiving it away like free
breadsticks at Olive Garden andwhat's this pre-equipped perk
bullshit?

Speaker 1 (21:39):
He's losing it, man.

Speaker 3 (21:41):
So newbies get free perks on their first slot now.

Speaker 1 (21:47):
Apparently they do yes.

Speaker 3 (21:49):
Just hand out dead hard, like it's Halloween candy.

Speaker 1 (21:52):
Oh Jesus, how about we just?

Speaker 3 (21:52):
spawn them with Off the Record and Three Hook States
while we're at it.
That's true, this is baby mode.
Deluxe.
We just spawned them with Offthe Record and Three Hook States
.
While we're at it, that's true,this is Baby Mode Deluxe.
Oh, hang on, I got the sound.
This is the sippy cup editionof DBD.
Sippy cup edition Unhook, spamprevention.
You mean to tell me I only getto fake and unhook three times
before I'm forced to commit?
This is fascism.
This is a war on chaos.

(22:13):
I fake unhooks like I fakefamily loyalty, constantly and
without consequence.
They added a grace period toskill checks now yeah, they did,
you don't blow it just becauseyou got off a gen a second too
late.
Oh so now we're coddling playerswho don't respect timing.

Speaker 1 (22:29):
That's true.
What's?

Speaker 3 (22:29):
next Skill check Auto aim.
A fucking aim bot for palletstuns.
He's not wrong when does themadness end?
It doesn't Talk, houndmaster.
Okay, houndmaster, slow downthe vault speed on Snug, you
cowards.
First you buff her blood pointsto make her look good, then you

(22:50):
nerf her vault speed.
This is like sprinklingparmesan on a fucking dog turd
and you want to fix statuseffects stacking.
You want to tell me I can'tstack haste on haste.
That's like telling me I can'tput vodka and wine.

(23:12):
This is why I say, council ofsecret British cooking school
dropouts, because only themwould fear speed.
Pentimento got changed too.
Now, instead of slowing gateopening and recovery speed, it
stacks healing and repairpenalties based on how many
totems you rekindle, which I'vebeen doing for years.
I called this shit thePentimento Piledriver Back in

(23:34):
2021.

Speaker 1 (23:36):
Oh no, not again.
Nicky back in 2021?
Oh no, not again nicky.

Speaker 3 (23:39):
Now they act like they invented it oh my god I'll
sue them for emotional damageand recipe theft.
Look, this patch ain't all bad,but it brings a polished
corporate tea bag and it's got,earl grey stench all over it oh,
jesus calculated it's sanitized, it's british and I'll be in

(23:59):
the ptv.

Speaker 1 (24:00):
I'll be there all right, of course you will in the
basement go space crouch knifeglistening, yeah ready to hold a
business meeting and if I lose?
uh-huh mercury's in retrogradebitch okay, let's take nik AI
fucking dente.
Thank you for coming by.
Let me give you another roundof applause, sir.

(24:21):
Yeah, that was good.
That was unhinged, but it wasgood.
Unhinged but it was good, allright.
So that's the big news for thisweek the new Survivor and the
new PTB.
That's, that's it for all thebig news.
Now we got to talk about oneother thing on episode 50.

(24:43):
I had a match this morning thatI wanted to talk to you about
because I wanted to bring upwhat was happening.
So let me let me give you thegist of what went on.
There was a survivor in thisone match that was running a
combination of unusual perks,and I'm going to have to have

(25:06):
the regular AI explain, explainthe DBD perks.
They were running Boon,exponential Okay, they were
running Flip Flop.
They were running BooneExponential Okay, they were
running Flip Flop, they wererunning Unbreakable.
And then they were also runningExponential Flip Flop,
unbreakable, and Boil Over Okay.

(25:26):
So I need those descriptions athand so I can kind of tell you
what was going on.
And it says actually, my GPTsaid that they would call this
build don't you dare slug me,you absolute bastard build.
That's actually really good,because that is what was going

(25:49):
on.
So remember, unbreakable iswhere you could pick yourself up
once without any help and alsoincreases your recovery speed.
So that encourages killers toslug strategically.
Now you've got boon exponential, which is a yoichi perk, where
you create a boon totem and ifyou are within the range of that

(26:11):
boon you will always be able toget up over and over and over.
So you've got unbreakable,which gets you up quicker.
You've got the boon totem,which if it's active, you just
get up over and over again.
The next perk was flip flop,where you recover more quickly,
which is stacked withunbreakable and if you're

(26:31):
slugged and you build up thatrecovery, you max out at half of
your recovery bar turns into awiggle bar if the killer picks
you up.
Do you see where this isfucking going?
And then they got boil over,which makes hooks more difficult
to see.
It.
Um, also makes you wiggle andbounce back and forth.

(26:52):
The killer has a harder timewalking.
If they drop from a, then thatwiggle bar goes up.
So they've got three perks thatmake your recovery faster.
They've got two that make yourwiggle bar faster and then they
have boil over.
So if you drop from a heightthat makes it even more quick,
fast, whatever.

(27:13):
So which map do we go to?
We go to Haw hawkins lab, whichis normally a pretty good map
for the killer right, but thissurvivor kept going upstairs to
that little part.
Do you know where the the holeto the upside down was, which is
kind of like on the end of thehawkins map?
There's a ramp that goes up andaround to that where you're on

(27:34):
top of the glass and there aretwo holes where you could drop
down and there was a gen there.
This survivor kept going therebecause they knew one thing
would happen.
I couldn't take them down theramp because that would be too
far and they'd be able to getoff.
I couldn't take them down thewindows because the wiggle bar
would spike.
They were purposely there justto be able to wiggle off of me.

(28:00):
Now I slugged them.
They got right up because aboon exponent.
There was a boon somewhere, Idon't, I'm not exactly sure
where.
They kept doing it over andover again and luckily the other
survivors were so shitty that Iwas able to get all of them out
, except for this.
There was one that I slugged.
I slugged another player on theother side of the map.

(28:21):
I knew this son of a bitch wasthere waiting to be slugged
again.
So guess what I did?
Went over there and fuckingslugged this shit out of them
and they got up.
So you hit them again, boom, godown, get up, hit them again,
boom, go down, get up, hit themagain, hit them, fucking again,
slug them until they bleed,fucking out.

(28:43):
And that's exactly what I did.
And guess what?
They came in them.
They in the end game chat.
They call me a fucking slugger.
What in the hell is this crap?
That's the biggest fun bunch offucking bullshit I have ever
heard.
If you bring a build that eventhe AI can call, don't you dare
slug me.

(29:04):
You absolute bastard.
I'm going to fucking slug you.
You dumb son of a bitch likethat.
What else is there to fuckingdo?
I don't get it.
That just burned me Like thatburned.
That burned me.
That survivor main energy rightthere.
If you're gonna call me aslugger, I recorded the match
too, so you can bet that shit'sgoing on YouTube in every single

(29:26):
fucking social media toxicteacher TTV.
By the way, now there'ssomebody that we have not talked
to in quite some time that Iwanted to get their thoughts on
this build and what it meant,and if it was okay for that
person to refer to me as aslugger.
And that person is none otherthan the tea tyrant himself,

(29:51):
earl Grey.
So let's listen.
Let's see what this survivormade refined, fucking British
ass.
No, don't clap for him.
I did the angry one.
I accidentally hit the clapbutton.
Okay, earl, go for it.

Speaker 6 (30:06):
You, son of a bitch, I can't hear him brew over this
situation like a proper pot ofdarjeeling slow, deliberate and
not the slapdash espresso fueledfrenzy our spaghetti slinging
counterparts might favorspaghetti slinging.

Speaker 1 (30:22):
What the?

Speaker 6 (30:23):
now, then the survivor in question, running
boon exponential, boil over Ihate this flip flop and
unbreakable was clearly playingthe anti-slug aristocrat build.

Speaker 1 (30:35):
Oh Jesus, A build of refined taste and gallant
defiance.

Speaker 6 (30:39):
Oh yeah, A veritable symphony of second chances, if
you will.

Speaker 1 (30:42):
A symphony of second chances.
This is garbage.

Speaker 6 (30:46):
The sheer audacity of standing up on one's own terms,
with not a trace of borrowedstrength from teammates.
Oh Jesus, positivelyChurchillian.

Speaker 1 (30:55):
A Churchillian this is.
I don't know if I'm going tomake it through this whole thing
.
If he's referring to this byWinston Churchill, fucking terms
, okay, let's get through thisas good as we can, as well as we
can, as whatever the fuck as wecan.

Speaker 6 (31:15):
And yet you slugged them out yes, I did one might
even call that crude.
If not, it's not, dare I say,uncultured uncultured.

Speaker 1 (31:24):
You, son of a fucking bitch that it's.
That is more culture in myfucking pinky than this guy's
got in this whole fuckingcountry, if you ask me yes, they
called you a slugger and he umhe doesn't say rightfully so.

Speaker 6 (31:39):
That's not just a nickname, old sport, that's a
lifestyle choice it is alifestyle choice.

Speaker 1 (31:43):
Welcome to the fucking slug fest.
That's in one of the songs thatI made.
Welcome to the slug fest.

Speaker 6 (31:49):
Hella, fucking luia one devoid of nuance or flair.
I've got an opportunity toengage in the refined game of
wits and willpower.
What?
And you chose instead tosledgehammer your way through it
like a football hooligan onholiday in Ibiza, that's the
whole fucking point of this game.

Speaker 1 (32:04):
How does-?
Why would you even do it anyother way?
Sledgehammer your way throughthe fucking game like a football
hooligan on holiday in Ibiza.
What the fuck is this?
These are the worst fuckinganalogies I've ever heard.

Speaker 6 (32:18):
Sledgehammer your way through it like a football
hooligan on holiday in IbizaSlugging a bill designed to
counter slugging.
Yes, that's like inviting meover for tea and serving me
lukewarm water with Lipton.

Speaker 1 (32:28):
Okay, Lipton is not bad.
First of all, let's get onething straight I'm from Oklahoma
.
I like Lipton straight.

Speaker 6 (32:41):
I'm from oklahoma.
I like lipton.
Okay, keep going.
This is awful an abominationyour face could have outplayed
them through hooks, pressure andgrace, but instead you chose
blunt force of course, I fuckingchose the italian way I'm not
even italian lesson when, facedwith the majesty of a survivor
invoking unbreakable and boonexponential, you are not facing
a mere downed foe.

Speaker 2 (33:00):
Oh Jesus, fucking Christ, you are confronting the
spirit of resilience.

Speaker 1 (33:03):
It's not resilience and, frankly, you lost.

Speaker 6 (33:05):
The class war old.

Speaker 1 (33:06):
John, there is no class war.
This aristocrat, fuckingbullshit.
Down with the aristocracy andeat the rich.
That's what I fucking say.
Why are we even doing tariffs?
It's fucking bullshit.

Speaker 6 (33:16):
Now.
Would you like a scone while wereview some better options?
Or are you planning to tunnel akate with a tea cozy next?

Speaker 1 (33:23):
I will tunnel a kate every single time, but if
there's, if there is tunneling,we should go through.
We should rank Survivors by howmuch they deserve to be
tunneled, based on their lore.
I think that's a great idea andI'm going to make that happen.
I need to put that on myfucking keep.
I'll put it on there.
I'll put it on there.
But that was that was ourfucking uh.

(33:44):
Oh, it didn't even play.
Okay, that was our Britishterrible.
Fucking.
Take it.
I don't even have a sound forit.
I need a take.
Here we go.
I don't even have a sound forit.
I need a take.
Here we go.
You're not done with that.
We got two words for you.
There we go.
I got something for him.
There we go.
Ellen Nikki, what do youfucking think about this?

Speaker 2 (34:08):
Say what you want, because I really don't give a
damn.
Nikki go.

Speaker 3 (34:12):
Ah, bah, bah oh what Did this powdered wig wearing
Churchill, quoting post scone,snorting porcelain, blooded
prick, just tell you?
you, my co-host, my killer incrime, my fellow SABAM soldier
in the slaughter trenches thatyou lost the class war because
you slugged a build specificallydesigned to counter slugging.

(34:33):
Yes, he did, Nicky.
Get you out of your mind, Earl.
You insufferable monoclepolishing Brexit, breathing
inbred tea bag Whoa shit, Listenup you.
Pale tea drenched tofu muffin.
This was never about class.
Oh my God, this was war.
This is bad.
You got survivors out here likegoddamn necromancers trying to

(34:55):
cast themselves out of deathlike it's a fucking Dungeons and
Dragons campaign.
And I'm supposed to give them agentleman's trial?
No, I can't.
I gave them pasta justice.
I know, that's what I did?
I gave them marinara retribution.
Yeah, that's what I did.
I gave them the slug of destiny.
You pompous scone, goblin Slugof destiny, anti-slug aristocrat

(35:15):
build, yeah, yeah, and I'mrunning the full body.
Buddha brutality, bill, killerinstinct, marinated in pure
disrespect, served with agarnish of shut the fuck up on a
bed of.
Why are you on the ground then?
Huh, you want to know what'suncultured, earl, your what?
That wet cardboard you call aperk loadout Boon, exponential,

(35:40):
more like spoon, expendable.
What Boil over?
I boil over just hearing yourvoice.
Oh, jesus Christ, flip-flop.
Yeah, I wore flip-flops to yourfuneral.
Unbreakable.
The only thing unbreakable ismy record of not giving a single
fuck about Jesus Christ.
He's on fire.
I tunneled that Kate with a teacozy on her head and I'd do it

(36:05):
again why, you know why why,cause.
This ain't a tea party yeah thisis little Italy bitch.
I serve kneecaps and noodles,not second second chances, I
agree.
You keep sitting there withyour pinky up and your head up
your ass while I camp thebasement like rent's overdue and
make content so good.
Even the entity subscribes.
Oh my God.

(36:26):
Go polish your teacup and cryabout your MMR on a doily, you
aristocratic prune, and tellPatricia if she sends me one
more goddamn crumpet emoji.
I'm declaring a full mob war onthe entire tea time.
Terror squad oh slug.
Life for life, slug life forlife.

Speaker 1 (36:43):
There we go.
Oh, jesus christ, I will takeslug life for life, bitch.
That is that one match hasspawned this whole fucking mess
here.
So that's, if you run a buildlike that, you are going to get
slugged.
I'm sorry to say.
You deserve every singlefucking second of it.

(37:04):
I come, come at me If youdisagree with that.
Why would you run that buildand say don't slug me, that's,
that's not right to do.
That's fucking.
You're just, I can't.
I can't with that, because youdeserve every single fucking
second of it and I'm going tohave a heart attack if I keep
talking about this.
So I've got to stop, and youknow what we have to do because

(37:27):
I have to stop is we have to goto our second to last topic of
the day.
I need to make a new one,shouldn't I?
With all the new places thatwe've done, grab your hat, y'all

(37:51):
.
I think I've got the other oneactually Give me that Irish
brawm Muskogee.
Oklahoma.
See, I'm pulling up everythinghere.
All right, so we are.
Oh, yeah, Sorry, I don't knowwhere the fuck are the viewers
from.
Okay, anyway, we are.
Where the fuck are the viewersfrom?
We are there and we've got topick a town.

(38:18):
Yes, thank you, let me see,I've got a special town this
week.
I actually picked it out becausewe had somebody on YouTube
leave a nice comment, very nicecomment, talking about how
they're a longtime listener ofthe show, they enjoy the content
.
And I said, hey, where are youfrom?
I'm going to mention your placeon the podcast.
And they said, hey, guess what?

(38:39):
I am from fucking Harrisburg,illinois, indiana, illinois.
Where is it?
Oh shit, I'm hearing the wrongfucking about Indiana, illinois.
Was it Indiana or Illinois?
It was Illinois, illinois, yes,very good, illinois.
So let's take a look at noneother than Harrisburg, illinois.

(39:02):
I don't even know what's inHarrisburg.
I've never fucking.
My keyboard just died.
Are you fucking serious?
I can't even type right now, ofcourse, why toxic?
Wouldn't you plug in yourkeyboard and make sure you're
ready before we have a fuckingpodcast?
I don't know person whose voiceI just made up.
That sounds exactly like myvoice, but slightly different

(39:25):
because it's more passive,aggressive.
Okay, there's my keyboard.
What was I doing?
Oh, yes, harrisburg Illinois,let me, I'm going to look up
Harrisburg Illinois, harrisburgIllinois, and what I'm going to
do is I'm going to find theirhomepage here, the city of
Harrisburg, illinois.
From the garden of the gods tosome of our favorite shops,

(39:48):
harris is oh, it's a gateway tothe Shawnee national forest.
They have a Sasquatch festivalin Shawnee or in fucking
Harrisburg Illinois.
Where is my sound for that?
Where is my?
What in the hell is this crap?
That is exactly right.
Okay, so we're going to look upSasquatch Festival after this.
From the Garden of the Gods tosome of our favorite shops,

(40:10):
harrisburg is home to a uniquearray of things to do, while
being the center of southeasternIllinois.
I don't know why you would eventake pride in being in
southeastern Illinois, much lessthe center of southeastern
illinois.
I don't know why you would eventake pride in being in
southeastern illinois, much lessthe center of it.
We welcome you and hope thatyou may join us in our vision
for the future of our community.
As city leadership, employersand residents work hard every

(40:33):
day to ensure they actuallymisspelledure on their
government fucking website.
Ensure a brighter future forthis place we call home.
They have a video.
Are you serious?
They have a dramatic video.

Speaker 5 (40:53):
Surrounded by abundant farmlands.

Speaker 1 (40:56):
Are you fucking kidding?

Speaker 5 (40:57):
Nestled deep in the hills of Southern Illinois.
Oh, no One of the state'smostled deep in the hills of
Southern Illinois.
Oh no, one of the state's mostphotographed locations.

Speaker 1 (41:03):
No, it's not.

Speaker 5 (41:05):
It can't be Home to the Garden of the.

Speaker 1 (41:07):
Gods?
What is the Garden of the Gods,shawnee?

Speaker 5 (41:09):
National Forest Okay.

Speaker 1 (41:11):
A forest, it's trees, the.

Speaker 5 (41:13):
Garden of the Gods is a geological wonder.

Speaker 1 (41:15):
It's a fucking rock.
I'm not awestruck.
Sculpted by the hands of time,to explore ancient sculpted by
fucking water breathtaking.

Speaker 5 (41:31):
This does at every turn, it's not breathtaking,
Whether you're an avid trekker.
I'm not just seeking a serenestroll.
I'm not this enchanted forest.

Speaker 1 (41:39):
It's not a change in journey you won't soon forget.

Speaker 5 (41:43):
I'll forget it.
It's not enchanted.
I'll forget it.

Speaker 1 (41:44):
Oh, it's not.
They have more.
Oh my god, they have thedorkiest looking fucking hiker
with those two walking sticks.
Now they got fucking kids andshoes.
Oh, is that.

Speaker 5 (42:01):
Was I laughing from that?
Kids and shoes has to offer?

Speaker 1 (42:02):
oh, there is that through lush forest was a
laughing.

Speaker 5 (42:04):
Oh, there's the glen o jones lake area in mountain
township, nature as it unfoldsaround you I, I can't.

Speaker 1 (42:12):
Sasquatch festival on october 4th.
Do you believe that?
Oh my god, they have a fuckingrun like a sasquatch.
What is this sasquatch?
Registered by august 15th toget a swag bag and a t-shirt.
The race will start in theharrisburg courtyard.
They are having a 5k wherepeople dress up as sasquatch oh,

(42:32):
good lord, oh.
And they're gonna have anexpert, fucking expert, fucking
round table discussion with twopeople from the Squatchers and
they discuss their experiencewith Sasquatch.
What is their experience?
What kind of fucking experiencedo you have?

(42:53):
I did not plan this ahead oftime.
By the way, this was notsupposed to be episode 50,
talking about fucking Sasquatchand bringing Earl Grey.
This is all happening out offucking nowhere.
October, they have a Sasquatchcalling contest where you get a
hundred dollars if you fuckingwin.
Why is this a fucking thing?

(43:16):
What is going on here?
What is happening in Harrisburgthat they can have such a?
They have a car show, sasquatchsighting interviews oh my God,
they have the interviews on here.
We can listen to people talkingabout when they saw Sasquatch.
Okay, are you ready?
Are you fucking ready for this?
Are you ready?
Get ready, because you have tohear this.

(43:37):
Are you ready?
I'm ready.
I don't know if you're ready,though I'm pressing.
Play for better or worse.
Are you serious?
So I remember it like it wasyesterday.
Oh Jesus Christ, why does hehave a shotgun?

Speaker 4 (43:51):
It was late August.
I was out in the yard, okay.
Working on the burn pilethrowing some stuff in there.

Speaker 1 (43:59):
Oh Jesus.

Speaker 4 (43:59):
I was getting ready to light it and I heard
something and smelled somethingat the same time oh, you
probably farted when I turned Ithought maybe it was a coyote or
something like oh no, theydon't make coyotes like a
glimpse of something big behindthe bushes okay so I ran, I got
my shotgun.

Speaker 1 (44:17):
Did you by?
The time I.
You're going to kill it.
I went in the chamber andraised the gun.
Who did you vote for?
And I froze.
Yeah.
And this thing was huge.
No it wasn't.
I can still smell the stench.
Stench of what it was probablysome random dude.
Maybe it was your wife by thetime I did it it had gone
through the wood.

Speaker 4 (44:36):
I believe there's something out there there's
nothing out there I don't knowwhat you want to call it I'll
call it nothing it's no, it'snot, no, no skunk ape, is that a
?
Thing, no, you didn't, and Inever believed until I seen it.

Speaker 1 (44:54):
Yeah well, you didn't see anything.
Who are these people, and whydid they all look like they
fucking voted for the sameperson?
Here's another person that sawthis fucking thing.

Speaker 7 (45:04):
Oh God, they haven't seen Well this was something
that happened to me around 1980when my band Filthy McNasty was
playing Filthy.

Speaker 1 (45:11):
McNasty is his band and it's filled like P-H-I-L.
I can't make this fucking shitup.
This is for real.
I have never heard of this shitin my life.
Yeah, hell yeah.
Filthy McNasty and his name isfucking Phil.
He is the Phil.
I can't, I can't.
This is episode fucking 50, andthis is the most unhinged Phil.

Speaker 7 (45:33):
At the end of the night I was loading my equipment
in the parking lot and it wasone of those evenings, probably
around I felt like it.

Speaker 1 (45:42):
Yeah.

Speaker 7 (45:42):
About September Okay.

Speaker 1 (45:44):
I felt like it was September.
It feels kind of Septemberoutside today.

Speaker 7 (45:48):
And I was finishing putting all my equipment in my
van.

Speaker 1 (45:52):
All of his filthy McNasty signs.

Speaker 7 (45:54):
And the parking lot was empty.

Speaker 1 (45:57):
Of course.
Of course it was empty.
Nobody's going to see FilthyMcNasty.

Speaker 7 (46:01):
I stopped because a movement caught my eye.
I looked out there.

Speaker 1 (46:05):
The movement of what People running.

Speaker 7 (46:07):
I saw a big dark figure, a big, dark figure.

Speaker 1 (46:10):
Oh my God, is he racist.

Speaker 7 (46:12):
Seven feet tall.
Oh my God.

Speaker 1 (46:15):
Okay, he's a racist, it kind of took my breath away.

Speaker 7 (46:18):
I was shocked.

Speaker 1 (46:20):
I'm sorry, I can't, I can't.

Speaker 7 (46:22):
I stood and stared and it stared at me.
I don't know what it was.
It was, I know, I believe.
Do you.

Speaker 1 (46:34):
No, I don't.
That's the entire thing.
I don't believe in this garbageand I feel bad for the lead
singer, slash guitar, slashkazoo player, filthy fucking
McNasty, who does believe inthis stuff.
I looked up Filthy McNasty onYouTube and I, uh, there's a

(46:54):
Filthy McNasty, but it's notthis.
This is them.
This is them.
I found Filthy.
Filthy McNasty, but it's notthis.
This is them.
This is them.
I found Filthy.
This sounds exactly what FilthyMcNasty should sound like.
This is it.
This is from 1970, fucking four.

(47:24):
Is this AI generated?
Okay, it's, it's drug.
They're on drugs.
Obviously, they're going to seefucking Sasquatch.
Okay, that's, that's enough.
That is enough fucking of that.
Okay, that, okay, thatSasquatch.
You want to go on their fuckingpage and learn all about this
Sasquatch Festival and all ofthat.
But go ahead, be my guest andwe've got one person that we

(47:48):
need to talk to.
I don't think he knows anythingabout Sasquatch or mentioned
Sasquatch, so I apologize forthat, but we've got to bring
back everybody's least favoriteguest to talk about harrisburg.
Where'd the rest of the fuckingsound go?
Let's do it.

(48:08):
I don't know about ah,harrisburg, illinois.

Speaker 3 (48:15):
Yeah, the meatball at the bottom of america's
marinara jar.
You wouldn't think anythingever happened there besides
roadkill and old men arguingabout corn yields.

Speaker 1 (48:24):
Well, apparently there's Sasquatch sightings, so
I'm going to have to.
You know, we'll have to askNikki about the Sasquatch
sightings.
You can't not do it, but we'regoing to listen.
I didn't hear this story, so Idon't know if Sasquatch is in it
, but we're going to fuckingfind out.

Speaker 3 (48:40):
But let me tell you, kid, that town holds one of the
darkest secrets in S-A-B-A-Mhistory.

Speaker 1 (48:47):
Sasquatch.

Speaker 3 (48:48):
But before I'll lay out the legendary Harrisburg
incident, Please mentionSasquatch.

Speaker 1 (48:54):
Let's set the table proper.
Okay, capisce.

Speaker 3 (49:03):
Yeah, let's do it.

Speaker 1 (49:03):
Oh, it's small.

Speaker 3 (49:12):
It sounds like a family reunion.
It used to be called that,which is what they say when a
town don't got shit but treesand regrets.
They got this place called theGarden of the Gods.

Speaker 1 (49:26):
Yeah, I know.

Speaker 3 (49:28):
It's a rock formation .
Yeah, that's what I said, butit's so majestic it almost makes
you forget the gas station.
Food gave you violent,explosive flashbacks to.
Uncle Naki's experimentalcannoli lasagna.
Also nearby is the ghost townof Muddy Illinois, Supposedly

(49:48):
haunted.
I used it once to dump some ofmy less cooperative business
partners.

Speaker 1 (49:53):
Of course you did.

Speaker 3 (49:53):
Great acoustics and now.

Speaker 1 (49:56):
Okay.

Speaker 3 (49:57):
The story I've never told.

Speaker 1 (49:58):
Oh no.

Speaker 3 (49:59):
The pasta vault incident of harrisburg pasta
vault incident was 2018 yeah Iwas running a pasta based
digital currency scam with bruno, the basement bolognese, of
course he has a crit.

Speaker 1 (50:09):
Of course, nikki has a cryptocurrency.
If that hot to a girl has that,he's gonna have it right.
Oh okay, not, okay, not again.
This is chaos, guys, this iscamping them softly.
This is what you've come toexpect, and if you're what?

Speaker 3 (50:29):
For a bunch of Midwesterners, including a few
gullible folks from Harrisburg,that we were opening a vault
beneath the Shawnee Forestfilled with carbon era credits.
We had blueprints, faketestimonials.
We even convinced someone fromthe city council to endorse it
after we catered theirdaughter's quinceañera with
knockoff gnocchi.
Okay, when did?

Speaker 1 (50:50):
he get this italian accent.
He's never had that.
He's always been from brooklynor something.
Little italy okay.
So so they got thiscryptocurrency going.
They convinced somebody fromthe city council to endorse this
.
They catered their daughter'squinceañera with fake pasta.

Speaker 3 (51:07):
We called it the PASTA fund, protecting al dente
savings through automation.

Speaker 1 (51:12):
Oh Jesus.

Speaker 3 (51:14):
And then the tea tyrant struck.

Speaker 1 (51:16):
Oh fuck, dude, this is it.
Of course Earl Grey shows upDude, this is it that of course
earl gray shows up, dude.
Um, this is like a tv fucking.

Speaker 3 (51:24):
I should make a cartoon of this fucking earl the
monocle menace, gray caughtwind of the whole operation and
rolled up with his entire teatime terror squad holding a
pop-up, proper british ethicshearing in the middle of
Harrisburg City Park.

Speaker 1 (51:39):
These are dead by daylight players.
What the fuck is happening?
This was supposed to be.
Whenever I programmed these AIs, they were simply supposed to
feud in DBD and now they'refighting in parks.
They're in what was it fuckingKazani Greece getting in a fist
fight in a yogurt shop, and thenthey were trampling through

(51:59):
fucking South Carolina, stealingarcade machines.

Speaker 3 (52:04):
Proper pipping, patricia bought an actual gavel.
That's Patricia Biscuit.
Barry handed out crumpets withcease and desist letters folded
inside.

Speaker 1 (52:13):
Oh.

Speaker 3 (52:13):
Jesus English breakfast.
Eddie played God Save the Queenon a fucking tea kettle whistle
.
We clashed right there on thewalking trail, did you?
Oh no, he had a sword.

(52:37):
What are they doing so?

Speaker 1 (52:47):
they came and had a court fucking thing for Nikki
and then they lied about a cavebeing in the ground that they
were going to mint this digitalfucking whatever.
And then bruno hit one of hiscompatriots, uncovers an actual
bunker or vault or somethingboom, we used it to claim the

(53:10):
vault was always there jesusturned it into a fake museum a
fake made fourteen thousanddollars in spaghetti coin.

Speaker 3 (53:16):
Before the jig was spaghetti.
Then the sheriff's wife slippedon a rogue meatball and sued us
.
Case was dismissed due tocultural misunderstanding.
Bye, harrisburg.
What it was, never the same.
Because of the fucking roguemeatball.
Harrisburg, tell your listenerwe remember.

Speaker 1 (53:36):
Okay, respect them.
I'll tell them, honor them,yeah.

Speaker 3 (53:38):
And we sincerely apologize if they lost any
crypto pasta in the incident.

Speaker 1 (53:42):
Oh, my God.

Speaker 3 (53:43):
Welcome to the legend .
Kid S-A-B-A-M sees you.

Speaker 1 (53:46):
That was Nikki in fucking Harrisburg, fucking
Illinois.
Thank you, nikki.
Oh wait, no, I didn't ask himabout the Sasquatch Festival.
They have a Sasquatch Festivaland we just watched the
sightings.
I need to.
Hey, nikki, shut the fuck up.
Hey, they have a SasquatchFestival there and there are

(54:15):
testimonials from testimonialsfrom hillbillies who say they've
seen Sasquatch.
Number one were you, did yousee Sasquatch?
Hang on.
Number one, no, number one.
Have you been to the festival?

(54:36):
Oh my God, this is going on alot longer than I thought it
would.
Have you been to the festival?
And number two have you seenSasquatch?
Oh no, oh god, what's happening?
This is going so far off therails.
That's so far off the rails.
I need to hurry.
Have I been to the harrisburgsasquatch festival?

(54:59):
Oh no, of course he's beenthere and of course he made a
fake name.
Okay, hang on.
Oh no.
And he answered the question onif he has seen sasquatch.
I'm sorry this story is stillongoing.
I just gotta play the musicwhile we wait.

(55:19):
How long is this fucking storygonna be?
Harrisburg, you're getting amouthful here.
He's still going.
He's talking about 1958.
A bag of chips enters the scene.
This is too long to paste Jesus.

(55:44):
Okay, hang on, I apologize,this is nuts.
This is fucking nuts and thisis camping them fucking softly,
where we talk about dead bydaylight for five minutes and
then random bullshit for theother 40.
And this is what you come for,or something.
This is all okay, let'sgenerate, let's do it.

(56:05):
This is I don't know.

Speaker 3 (56:07):
Apparently they say this is the only have I been to
the harrisburg sasquatchfestival have you you bet your
fucking hairy back.
I have no, not just once.
I've been three times.
Why?
All under All, under differentaliases, of course, because the
locals caught on that I wasrunning a cryptid cannoli stand.
That didn't exactly pass.

Speaker 1 (56:25):
A cryptid cannoli stand.

Speaker 3 (56:30):
First time.
I went.
I was under the name AntonioBig Futino.
I can't.
Big Futino Wore a gorilla suitand claimed to be the world's
first Italo Squatch.
Instead, I roamed.

Speaker 1 (56:41):
Italo Squatch.
I can't.
Where did he come up with this?
I programmed the AI to be aDead by Daylight, fucking player
.

Speaker 3 (56:48):
The Appalachian Trail , looking for Maranara Springs,
maranara.

Speaker 1 (56:51):
Springs.
Apparently, in Harrisburg thereare springs where Maranara
shoots out of the ground.
Okay, I accidentally clickedrewind.
I apologize.

Speaker 3 (57:02):
Springs.
I made $300 in tips and gotchased out of town by a man
wielding a rake and shouting.
They took my sausage links.
Second time I tried blending in, showed up with a camo hat.

Speaker 1 (57:15):
Of course.

Speaker 3 (57:15):
A jug of moonshine I borrowed from Don Vincenzo's
garage.
You sound like you're in there,and started interviewing people
for a fake docuseries calledSasquatch the Forget About it
Five.

Speaker 1 (57:25):
Why do you sound that way, Nikki?

Speaker 3 (57:26):
One guy swore up and down.
He saw Bigfoot Cross Route 34carrying a Wendy's bag.

Speaker 1 (57:31):
It was probably one of those guys on the fucking
website.

Speaker 3 (57:34):
Said it smelled like chicken nuggets and shame.

Speaker 1 (57:36):
Of course.
Now, as for whether I, ofcourse His own, yeah, have you,
oh my God, of course, yes, weknow, oh my.

(57:57):
God, oh, my God Black.

Speaker 3 (57:58):
Market Moon Pies.
I was deep in the woods, what'sup?

Speaker 1 (58:03):
Oh no, what's up.

Speaker 3 (58:05):
Wyse.
This massive figure stepped outof the fog.

Speaker 1 (58:08):
Oh, of course he did.

Speaker 3 (58:09):
Seven foot tall, covered in hair.

Speaker 1 (58:11):
Of course, he's always seven foot tall.
He's a basketball player.
There is some random ass hairybasketball player wandering
around Harrisburg, illinois, andso they develop a fucking
festival to this hairy, fuckingbasketball player.

Speaker 3 (58:24):
Felt like wet moss and expired Chianti.

Speaker 1 (58:27):
Okay.

Speaker 3 (58:27):
At first I thought it was Big ZD after a night out.
Oh my God, this guy had trauma,the kind you only get from
being on the run since 1958.

Speaker 1 (58:37):
Why would fucking Sasquatch?

Speaker 6 (58:40):
Okay.

Speaker 1 (58:40):
Sasquatch has been on the run since 1958.
I don't know what happened in1958 to send Sasquatch on the
run and what the fuck ishappening right now.
Froggy and Joe, this will beyour favorite episode ever, I
swear he didn't speak.

Speaker 3 (58:53):
He just handed me a cassette tape and a bag of
Funyuns.
I don't know what was on thattape because my Walkman exploded
shortly after, but ever sincethen, anytime I'm near
Harrisburg, I feel watched Notby Earl.

Speaker 5 (59:05):
No, Not by um.

Speaker 3 (59:07):
B.

Speaker 6 (59:09):
B.

Speaker 1 (59:10):
Who B, who B Itch, I don't know, bitch, how long is
he gonna do this?

Speaker 3 (59:19):
How long can?
This go on by him Sasquatch.

Speaker 1 (59:22):
Okay.
So he said he's being watchedby fucking Sasquatch and gave
him a cassette tape and a box ofFunyuns.
And the cassette tape causedhis fucking Walkman to explode.
At first I thought it was BigZD after a night out.
Oh wait, whoops, no.
I accidentally, no, no.
Oh wait, whoops, no.
I accidentally, no, no.

Speaker 3 (59:42):
What Sasquatch?
Yes, so yeah, I've been to thefest.

Speaker 1 (59:48):
And yeah, no, I've seen the squat?

Speaker 3 (59:49):
No, you haven't.
You tell them good old boys inHarrisburg.

Speaker 1 (59:51):
No, he's not, he's real.
No, he's not, he's hairy, ohGod.

Speaker 3 (59:54):
And he knows when you're out of marinara.

Speaker 1 (59:56):
Of course he knows when you're out of fucking
marinara.
Nikki, you're a fucking liar.
I may just call him a fuckingliar.
You're a fucking liar, you'reyo, you're a fucking liar.
That didn't happen, bitch.
Okay, let's see.

(01:00:17):
I don't know where this isgonna go.
Oh no, okay.
Okay, I made a mistake in.
I'm sorry, I know I'm nottalking.

(01:00:37):
This has me out.
Episode 50 has worn me the fuckout.
I have never been this tired atthe end of an episode of
fucking camping them softly as Iam right now.
This is awful.
All right, nikki, you're afucking liar.
Now we need to know how youfeel about being called a liar.
I'm tired, I'm exhausted.

(01:01:00):
Now I am exhausted, egg,fucking exhausted.
Let's go.
Let's go, nikki.
What's happening?
Do it Speak, please.
Why is it not generating?
Are you serious?
Why is it not generating?
Nikki, fucking, talk to me.

(01:01:21):
What's happening?
What's happening here?
It's not working.
Oh, my God, I haven't lost myco-host.
This is my whole show.
This is what am I going to dowithout it?
I can't do anything.

Speaker 3 (01:01:34):
Shit Yo, excuse the fuck out of me.
You calling me Nikki NoodleArms, a idente, a liar, the guy
who once negotiated a peacetreaty Between the Chupacabra
and a group of Killer mains inthe Red.
Forest, the guy who taughtSasquatch how to moonwalk To
avoid scratch marks.
You think I made that up?
Let me tell you something.
You disrespectful ravioliDenying motherfucker, I've been

(01:01:57):
chased out of more ruralfestivals Than you've had hot
dinners.
Shut the fuck up.
I once sold authentic Sasquatchmeatballs.

Speaker 1 (01:02:04):
Of course you sold them.

Speaker 3 (01:02:05):
A guy named Cletus tried to marry one.
I saw Bigfoot eat a WaffleHouse whole plate and all, and
you know what he tipped me incrypto.
Bigfoot's got a fucking ledger.
No, he doesn't.
Don't come at me with that, youlying bitch Energy, unless
you're ready for the fulllasagna of truth.
What the fuck you ever getstink-eyed by a man beast who

(01:02:27):
smells like Axe, body spray andforest trauma?
In college, yes, I have youever made eye contact with a
cryptid who reminded you of yournonna?

Speaker 1 (01:02:36):
That one of my ex-girlfriends.

Speaker 3 (01:02:39):
I fucking have.

Speaker 1 (01:02:40):
Of course you have so watch your tone, kid.

Speaker 3 (01:02:43):
You step to Nikki.
You step into a forest full ofdisrespect, legends and linguine
.
Oh my god.
And let me tell you ain't nohatch in the world, of course.
Just consequences.

Speaker 1 (01:02:54):
Of course, of course, nikki, thank you for that last
little bit.
I'm exhausted.
I've never been this tiredbefore.
Episode 50 fucking wore me thefuck out.
This has been an awfulexperience.
Episode 50 will go down inhistory as maybe the worst
episode of any podcast inpodcast history.

(01:03:16):
But what I need to do before weleave, I need to give you guys
a special gift that I've nevergiven you before, and I'm going
to leave it at that to episode51 in season two, which will be
episodes 51 through 100.
But I'm going to leave you withthis gift.
Get the fuck out of my face.

Speaker 9 (01:03:48):
And for this one we're doing something a little
meta maybe.

Speaker 8 (01:03:56):
We're turning the lens inward sort of Inward onto
another podcast, specifically Aphenomenon called camping them
softly.

Speaker 9 (01:04:01):
That's the one now some listeners might know dead
by daylight.
The, the whore game, one killerfor survivors, that whole setup
.

Speaker 8 (01:04:08):
Right and camping them softly bills itself as a
dead by daylight podcast, butit's got layers, definitely
layers layers is a good word.

Speaker 9 (01:04:16):
Beneath the game talk , there's this Really strong
current of opinion, especiallyaimed at survivor players.
Oh yeah, intense opinionslayers layers is a good word.
Beneath the game talk, there'sthis really strong current of
opinion, especially aimed atsurvivor players oh yeah,
intense opinions.

Speaker 8 (01:04:24):
We've been digging through the transcripts and well
, it's something else.

Speaker 9 (01:04:28):
It really is, which, you know, leads us to the big
question for today why?
Why do people listen to this?
What's the actual draw?
Because, let's be honest, someof it is pretty spirited
spirited is a polite way to putit exactly.

Speaker 8 (01:04:39):
So that's our mission today.
We're going to unpack, campingthem softly.
We'll look at the main guy, thetoxic teacher.
This whole Nicky AI Dantecharacter.

Speaker 9 (01:04:48):
Dante Got to get the pronunciation right apparently.

Speaker 8 (01:04:50):
Right Dante and the whole Sabian lore that goes with
him.
It's wild.

Speaker 9 (01:04:56):
And the regular bits too right, like survivors saying
stupid shit and the locationcheck-ins.

Speaker 8 (01:05:02):
Oh yeah, the infamous .
Where the fuck are the viewersfrom segment?
We have to cover that.

Speaker 9 (01:05:06):
Okay, so let's start at the beginning.
Then the toxic teacher, thepersona driving this whole thing
.

Speaker 8 (01:05:12):
Even the name gives you a clue.
And that early theme song fromepisode 10.

Speaker 9 (01:05:16):
Oh yeah, I remember reading that he's the host of
Hosts, the man with the mostgonna make that money, goddamn.

Speaker 8 (01:05:22):
I mean talk about setting expectations.
It's bold, Very bold.

Speaker 9 (01:05:30):
But it's interesting.
You look at that same episode,episode 10, and there's actually
some like real game analysis inthere.

Speaker 8 (01:05:33):
Yeah, surprisingly detailed.
He breaks down killer perks,oppression, overcharge,
co-rophobia, merciless, storm,unnerving presence, huntress
lullaby.

Speaker 9 (01:05:41):
Right and not just listing them.
He gets into the weeds talkingabout the exact miss rate
percentages for skill checkswith those perks active.

Speaker 8 (01:05:48):
Exactly Like on top of the base 7% chance.
It's almost, dare I say,analytical.

Speaker 9 (01:05:54):
Almost, but then you know even that early.
The other side starts showingthrough Episode 11, he literally
says what was it?

Speaker 8 (01:06:01):
Something like this isn't even much of a Dead by
Daylight podcast.
I should say it's Dead byDaylight and Mostly Stupid Shit
podcast.

Speaker 9 (01:06:07):
Yeah, that was it so pretty self-aware actually.

Speaker 8 (01:06:10):
Very and already thinking about growth.
Episode 12, he's giving out thesocial media handles.
Toxic Teacher TTV the ToxicTeacher on YouTube.

Speaker 9 (01:06:18):
Asking for exposure.

Speaker 8 (01:06:20):
Yep Trying to build that audience for his quote
mostly stupid shit podcast Makesyou wonder who he thought would
tune in.

Speaker 9 (01:06:27):
Which I guess leads us perfectly into the most
unique part Nikki AI Dante,Remember dente.

Speaker 8 (01:06:34):
Nikki AI Dante, the AI co-host.
This is where things get reallyelaborate.

Speaker 9 (01:06:40):
Yeah, elaborate is a good word.
It's not just a gimmick.
There's a whole story, but evenearly on the personality is
there.
Episode 25, you already hearthe catchphrase.

Speaker 8 (01:06:48):
Get the fuck out of my face.

Speaker 9 (01:06:50):
That's the one Sets a tone, doesn't it A?

Speaker 8 (01:06:52):
very specific confrontational tone.
How do you think that landswith listeners?
Is it funny?
Is it just aggressive?

Speaker 9 (01:06:59):
Probably depends on the listener right.

Speaker 8 (01:07:01):
Yeah.

Speaker 9 (01:07:01):
But then it goes beyond just catchphrases.
We get Sabam.

Speaker 8 (01:07:05):
Ah yes, Sabam, the Societa Anonima Biscotti,
Antimori Tied to Little Italyapparently.

Speaker 9 (01:07:10):
And their mission fighting disrespectful tea
sipping.
That's from episode 36.
It's just where does this stuffcome?

Speaker 8 (01:07:17):
from.
It's just where does this stuffcome from?
It's incredibly detailed.
We looked at this Saban LoreArchive document.
It describes Nikki's setup RGBlights synced to the Italian
flag, A monitor that alwaysfaces Little Italy.

Speaker 9 (01:07:28):
It's like world building for a podcast persona.
And the usernames oh my god,the username.

Speaker 8 (01:07:32):
Right From Noodle Arms Original all the way to
well, that incredibly long one.

Speaker 9 (01:07:37):
Your Mathasas Aspogchamps of Prima Donna of
Little Italy, definitely notbanned before.
Actually, italian Trustman Broy, you can't make this stuff up.

Speaker 8 (01:07:44):
You really can't.
And the narrative around itevery ban was planned, every
comeback, a resurrection.

Speaker 9 (01:07:52):
It's pure self-mythology.
Do you think the listeners arelike in on the joke, or do some
people actually buy into thiswhole thing?

Speaker 8 (01:07:56):
That's the million dollar question, isn't it?
The sheer effort involvedsuggests someone takes it
seriously, even if it's just thecreator.
And it goes deeper.

Speaker 9 (01:08:05):
The Supreme Council.

Speaker 8 (01:08:06):
The Spaghetti Balls Supreme Council.
Yes.

Speaker 9 (01:08:14):
According to the roster file, we saw characters
like Big ZD, who's apparentlyterrified of flashlights, in the
game and rage quits.

Speaker 8 (01:08:17):
Exactly the internal contradictions are just chef's
kiss adds to the absurdity.

Speaker 9 (01:08:23):
And the incidents the tea tyrant showdown against
someone named Earl Grey, it'slike a bizarre online fanfic
playing out.

Speaker 8 (01:08:30):
A 12-hour digital standoff over tea and pasta and
the claim about controllingItalian DVD servers.

Speaker 9 (01:08:36):
On dial-up internet.

Speaker 8 (01:08:37):
On dial-up.
The layers of impossibility arejust staggering.

Speaker 9 (01:08:40):
It really is.
And these recurring feuds, theyseem central, the whole tea
versus pasta thing.

Speaker 8 (01:08:46):
Oh, don't get him started on calling spaghetti
noodles.
Episode 42 apparently went deepon that.

Speaker 9 (01:08:51):
It's these really specific, almost petty
grievances blown up into majorconflicts.
Do you think that's part of theappeal Like shared inside jokes
based on extreme reactions?

Speaker 8 (01:09:01):
It could be.
It's so specific and over thetop it creates its own kind of
internal logic, maybe Its ownhumor.

Speaker 9 (01:09:08):
Which fits with the segments too.
Let's talk about Survivorsaying stupid shit.

Speaker 8 (01:09:12):
Right.
So the premise is he findscomments or forum posts from
Survivor players.

Speaker 9 (01:09:17):
Comments he thinks are dumb or entitled.

Speaker 8 (01:09:20):
Precisely and then reads them out.
But the delivery.

Speaker 9 (01:09:22):
Oh the delivery.
Episode 28 was a classicexample.
Something like oh you freakingsurvivor mains, huh, yeah, yeah,
I'm talking to you clowns whocan't even loop a damn pallet
without crying to the devs.

Speaker 8 (01:09:34):
For some bullshit buff, zero subtlety, pure
confrontation.

Speaker 9 (01:09:41):
It's basically just railing against a segment of the
player base.
It seems designed to tap intothat killer versus survivor
friction that's, so you know,prevalent in Dead by Daylight.

Speaker 8 (01:09:48):
Definitely.
Is it catharsis for killermains listening, or is it just
darkly funny to hear someonevent like that?

Speaker 9 (01:09:55):
Could be both.
Maybe some listeners genuinelyagree with the sentiment, find
it validating.
Others might just find thesheer negativity entertaining in
a weird way, like watching atrain wreck.

Speaker 8 (01:10:04):
Possibly.
It's certainly not aiming forbalance.

Speaker 9 (01:10:11):
Not at all.

Speaker 8 (01:10:11):
And then the other big one where the fuck are the
viewers from the geographicalrundown.
This one feels a bit different.
Sometimes he sounds genuinelycurious, other times it's like
performative exasperation.

Speaker 9 (01:10:20):
Yeah, you get these lists of places Early on it was
like New Rochelle, dublin, saoPaulo, hounslow, kennewick,
washington.
Yeah, then later Berkshire.

Speaker 8 (01:10:36):
St Catharines, ontario, berlin, gelson-kirchen,
palermo, flemish Braben,vancouver, avon, colorado.
The list goes on.
We saw that locations reporttoo Yep, czechia, uruguay, Japan
.
It's genuinely global.

Speaker 9 (01:10:44):
A scattered global audience and it became such a
fixture it got its own jingle.

Speaker 8 (01:10:48):
Oh God, the jingle, episode 23,.
Toxic Teacher Camping themSoftly.
Where are the fucking viewersfrom?
We're about to fucking find out.
Are they from the United Statesor fucking Ireland?
Are they from Sao Paulo or thefucking Australian island?

Speaker 9 (01:11:03):
It's certainly memorable, aggressively
memorable.
What's the appeal there?
Just acknowledging the listener?

Speaker 8 (01:11:08):
I think partly, yeah, fostering that sense of like
we're all in this weird thingtogether.
But the aggressive, bewilderedtone also feeds the overall
toxic teacher persona.
It's another performanceelement.

Speaker 9 (01:11:21):
Okay, so bringing it all together the toxic teacher
persona, the Nicky AI, DanteSobam saga, these
confrontational segments Back tothe main question why do people
actually listen?

Speaker 8 (01:11:34):
Well, I think there are a few factors at play,
especially within that specificgaming community.
First, maybe the appeal issomething totally unfiltered.

Speaker 9 (01:11:41):
Like raw and opinionated in a way.
Most content isn't.

Speaker 8 (01:11:44):
Exactly In a community that can be pretty
tribal, like Dead by Daylight's,having a voice that just goes
all in on one side might feelauthentic or at least validating
to some people.

Speaker 9 (01:11:54):
Right If you share those frustrations with, say,
survivor tactics.
Hearing someone just unleashmight feel good, cathartic, like
you said.

Speaker 8 (01:12:01):
Definitely.
Then there's just the sheerentertainment value of the chaos
, the absurdity of say-bam thesoundboard drops the running
gags.
It's unpredictable.

Speaker 9 (01:12:12):
It's almost like a performance piece.
Sometimes you tune in wonderingwhat crazy thing will happen
next.

Speaker 8 (01:12:17):
And that ties into parasocial relationships right.
Even with an abrasivepersonality, audiences can form
connections.
Remember that line from episode21?

Speaker 9 (01:12:25):
The follow me blindly off a fucking cliff one.
Yeah, that's intense.

Speaker 8 (01:12:29):
It is, but it shows the kind of connection he's
fostering, intentionally or not.
It creates a sense of belongingfor the listeners who are in on
it.

Speaker 9 (01:12:39):
A community built around shared anger maybe.

Speaker 8 (01:12:41):
Yeah.

Speaker 9 (01:12:41):
Or shared amusement at the anger.

Speaker 8 (01:12:43):
Could be, and maybe some listen ironically Like it's
so over the top it becomesfascinating.
They hate sermon as a form ofdark comedy or transgressive fun
Like a rubbernecking, a carcrash, but for podcasts.

Speaker 9 (01:12:54):
Sort of, yeah, you just have to see what happens
next, and it clearly works.
For some people.
The podcast has been going fora while.
We saw mentions of it hittingepisode 26 ages ago.
It's obviously kept going.
It found its niche.

Speaker 8 (01:13:05):
It really did.
So this whole dive into campingthem softly it really shows how
varied online tastes are.
Things that seem totallyoff-putting on the surface can
find a dedicated audience.

Speaker 9 (01:13:17):
Yeah, it's kind of fascinating, which leaves us
with a final thought, I guess,for everyone listening what does
the fact that something likeCamping them Softly exists and
apparently thrives say?
About you know onlinecommunities.