Ep. 52 - FNaF DbD Incoming! Nea Karlsson! And a (Potential) Giveaway! - Camping Them Softly: A Dead by Daylight Podcast

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
If you go to prison and you try to escape, you are
going to be smashed by agigantic ass rolling pin or, if
you're lucky, a giant pair ofshears will cut you in half.
That was my childhood.
Okay, it's the fucking podcast.

Speaker 2 (00:15):
Less than them softly .
The toxic teacher back againHit a fucking wind.
Cabin them softly, never goingaway.
But it's all you motherfuckersrealize that.

Speaker 1 (00:43):
Hey everybody, it is me, the toxic teacher with my
old sounds back.
I don't know if you rememberthat, but this is Camping them
Softly.
Everybody's least favorite,least favorite.
I think I am the worst dead bydaylightcentered podcast in

(01:05):
podcastdom, I think.
Is that what it's called?
It's podcastdom Podcast?
I don't even know.
That's one of my many fartsounds.
Hang on.
The bad thing about it is,whenever the crowd chants my
name like this, I can't stop it.
With the new soundboard, I cando a toilet sound.
I can do that, but I can't stopit.
With the new soundboard, I can.

(01:25):
I can do a toilet sound.
I can do that, but I can't.
I can't stop it.
Hang on, let me, let me check.
I'm going to, I'm going tocheck my set.
Oh, there is something.
I can check this box.
But the only thing I can do isI can use another sound effect
and then click like stop all theother shit when I use it.
So, hang on, here's the onethat I've done.

(01:47):
Okay, there we go.
So ideally, if I am thetechnical genius I think I am,
if the crowd starts cheering, Ican fart them into silence,
which is usually what fartingdoes in a large group of people,
right.
So here we go, crowd, tell mewhat you think of me.

(02:07):
Yes, thank you.
See, we've got our applause.
Yes, I'm the toxic teacher,dead by daylight chaos, and then
it works, perfect.
Wait, what just happened?
I didn't push that.
Hang on, do they?
Oh, they, okay, it starts backup, I don't know why.

(02:30):
Well, that's not fucking good,because then they just keep
going, okay, anyway, anyway,that's it for the introduction.
Guys, we have a lot to talkabout.
We've been off for a week.
We took a week off and we arenow back.
As you can obviously tell and Iknow you were probably

(02:51):
wondering, toxic, you've been onevery week.
What the fuck are you doinghere?
Why did you leave us alone forone week?
We barely made it without you.
We wanted to know where episode52 was.
You promised another episode.
You promised episode 52.
What the fuck are you doinghere?
Well, I got to tell you guys,it's been lately.

(03:15):
I've been going through one ofthose spells, you know, where
the content has been harder tocome by, the motivation has been
a little bit harder to come by.
I don't know if you guys everhave that, but it's kind of an
issue that I'm dealing with.
Obviously, and I'm going to befrank with you, normally I'm
just a piece of shit.
I'm making up all kinds ofstuff and you know we get

(03:38):
serious every once in a while,and I know I've talked to you
about that.
Every once in a while we get alittle serious and so I have to
admit, you know, whenever I'mgoing through one of these
spells where things are a littlebit more difficult than normal
and even for toxic it gets thatway I don't know what I feel
about these.

(03:58):
I did not know what that wasgoing to do.
Hang on, I feel down.
Okay, that's fucking stupid,okay.
So anyway, I just want you guysto know that, so you know that
everybody goes through this kindof stuff, even your favorite
content creators, even your Idon't.
Well, actually, hang on, let me.

(04:18):
Let me, let me back up there.
I don't know that they gothrough it.
I'm assuming, but I can't saythat because some people may not
.
I just know about me, so I wantyou guys to know that about me,
since you come, since youlisten and since you seemingly
enjoy things here, that if I'mhaving a hard time, if there's a

(04:39):
week off, that might be why youdon't need to worry, um, but
it's.
It's just, sometimes it getsdifficult and that's kind of
that's how things are, but I'mstill here for you and I've got
all these new sounds.
I don't know what this one is.
Oh, that sounds, that soundsfrightening, hang on.

(05:00):
Oh, that's like at thebeginning of a trailer, you know
in a fucking shit, Like what isthis one?
Oh, dude, that's another likemovie trailer type shit there.
Can I put that with the?
Okay but then it comes back likewe were talking.
I don't know how to stop thisshit.

(05:22):
I wish I did.
Does this stop it?
Oh, there is a stop button.
Okay, I do have a stop button.
Okay, that's cool.
That's good to know for futurereference.
Is that there is a stop button?
Anyway, guys, I take two weeksoff and shit gets nuts on Dead
by Daylight, like there is somuch shit to talk about.

(05:43):
I don't know how I'm going tofit it all in, but guess what?
I thought that maybe therewould be, so I left myself a lot
of time today.
You know how sometimes we getit to where I've only got.
I've only got like 45 minutes.
So I just got to talk aboutfucking.
I got to talk a hundred milesan hour and I think I think that
I pack the most words in perminute of any podcast in

(06:07):
podcustom.
You know the country we were inearlier this morning.
I'm going to say this morning,but it's the afternoon.
It's 430 where I am.
But anyway, in podcustom Ithink I do talk faster and with
fewer pauses than anyone else inpodcustom.
And I was going to do something.
I was going to pull somethingup on my trusty toxic computer

(06:30):
here, which I have sincecompletely fucking forgot.
Oh, yes, I remember what it is.
So you know, we do AI music onhere, right?
That's one of the biggestthings that we do.
And they just released a newmodel.
You know that's the biggestthing in AI is the models.
Right, there's a new fuckingmodel.

(06:50):
We've got this and that and theother thing and the new model
is going to tear apart the oldmodel and that's going to make
us fucking whatever and we'regoing to make a million dollars
because our new model is betterthan the other piece of shit
company's new model.
So, anyway, they come out witha new model.
To me it's hit or miss because I, you know, I've tried remaking

(07:15):
some of my songs and I can't saythat I'm really big into it.
You know some of them very good, some of them not so good.
I'm trying to remember if thiswas our theme song, because I
need to hear the theme song.
You know what I'm.
You know what I'm talking about.
The whole.

(07:35):
Is this it?
I don't know if it is, I needto.

Speaker 2 (07:41):
I can't, I can't even hear it.

Speaker 1 (07:44):
What have I done with my sounds here?
Eyes undone, I'll purge yourrain, what?
What the fuck is happening?
Oh, dude, it's still playing.
I accidentally mute, oh thereit goes.
I push it again and it stops.
I don't know what the fuck ishappening.
Hang on.
Okay, so I've got to find thistoxic fucking news, the one that

(08:07):
we've been using.
You know what I'm talking aboutthe toxic fucking.
I can't find it.
That's not it.
Where is it?
I may have to give up for now.
This, this isn't it.
This is this is not it.
I'm trying here, guys.
This isn't it.
This is not it.
I'm trying here, guys.

(08:27):
What the fuck is this?
I don't even remember making.
That's what happens wheneveryou make 7 million songs.
This is not it either, but it'sgood.
That's a little AIE, oh, andthat's actually pretty good.
That's the old AIE, oh, that'sactually pretty good.

(08:48):
That's the old model, though.
Oh, that's like.

Speaker 2 (08:53):
It's news.

Speaker 1 (08:56):
Yeah, that's not it either.
I don't know where it is.
So how am I going to do it?
What is this?
Yeah, okay, brothers andsisters, is it Okay?

(09:16):
Wow, I didn't even know thisexisted.
I'll take it for now.
For now, I'll take it.

(09:37):
I like it.
Palettes, it still doesn't.
I don't know why we still playthis trash.
Yes, it is.
It's toxic fucking news.
Yeah, yeah, okay, that's it.

(09:58):
That's it, I'm done.
I couldn't find it.
I was trying to find it so Icould remake it in the new model
, and then we'd be like, oh, wow, that's kind of cool, but I
can't.
What the fuck ever?
Okay, anyway, we've got someDead by Daylight shit.
We've got to talk about.
The first item for grabs.
The first item of business, isthat the Blood Moon event is

(10:21):
over.
See how I've got.
I've got a reaction foreverything.
Now I've got all this.
This is amazing, exactly yeah,so Blood Moon is over.
So you're now getting what wewere getting five times like
500%.
So now you're getting like onefifth of that 500% that you were

(10:44):
before.
You're only getting 100%.
Now You're not even getting100% extra.
So now, whenever you're playing, you can just think at one
point I was leveling mycharacters five times faster.
And now this shit is fuckingterrible.
And guess what they've done now?
Just guess.
To put on top of that is thatthey have redone or they

(11:07):
reintroduced Chaos Shuffle.
And that's about right, becauseChaos Shuffle is gold for
survivors.
We know survivor mains can liveon Chaos Shuffle until the end
of time.
That is their bread and butter.
It is definitely not a killermains bread and butter, because

(11:31):
killers are more dependent onperks.
Right, it's the base abilitiesof a lot of killers only go so
far.
There are certain killers thatdon't need perks to do what they
do and to do it very well, buta lot of killers need that
support of good synergy in theirperks.

(11:51):
And in Chaos Shuffle you getalmost none of that.
And I don't even know if ChaosShuffle this time has any
rewards really with it, becauseat one point there was a, there
was a, a mode that came out thathad nothing.
So it's like why are you evenplaying this fucking mode?
It makes absolutely no sense.

(12:12):
Oh, there, we see.
You see what I did there.
That's cute.
But let me see Chaos Shovelreturns.
Let me.
I'm on DBD, I'm ondeadbydaylightcom.
I got to put in my fucking agehere.
Hang on, I'm 92 years old,according to this, 1945.
I was born the year Hitler died.

(12:33):
So there we.
Well, was that the year he died?
And why does it show Dungeonsand Dragons?
This is January.
Why am I Like?
I go to the news, I Google.
That's why I can't Googleanything.
Google has become useless.
Just go to chat GPT if you needsomething now, because it can.
It can search the same.

(12:53):
So, um, just fucking like I'malready tired now, Now, one year
ago, okay, that's Jesus Christ,I can't find anything.
Okay, so I'm going to assume,because I did no research, I'm
going to assume that ChaosShuffle has nothing.
I'm calling that now.
I don't know if it's true, butI'm going to say it.

(13:15):
So I'm going to spread thatrumor and people are going to
believe it.
Maybe the two of you that stilllisten to this are going to
believe it, and my sound doesn'twork.
There we go, there we go, okay.
So what were we going to talkabout next?

(13:36):
So we're talking about ChaosShuffle is back.
Okay, the other thing toxic news.
We've got one more big item oftoxic news is that May 9th,
which is next week, that's,we're on May.
I'm recording this on May 3rd,so that's going to be next
Friday, so you're probably goingto get this on Tuesday.

(13:58):
This will drop on your favoritepodcast platform, but that
Friday is PAX East andapparently there is going to be
something big at PAX East and wehave no clue what.
But I think we know.
We think we know, becausewhat's that children's game,

(14:21):
five Nights at Freddy's?
They just tweeted or X'd, orwhat do you do?
You don't tweet, you X.
They X'd that.
Hey, everybody go to Dead byDaylight fucking such and such.
I don't even remember what theysaid that was oh, here, let me
see.
Dead by Daylight will becelebrating its ninth

(14:41):
anniversary.
Join the team for an excitingshowcase and an early look at
their collaboration by FiveNights at Freddy's.
Oh Jesus, oh, it's a leakeraccount that did that from Five
Nights at Freddy's.
The Five Nights at Freddy'ssubreddit did that.
So I don't know if it's true.
I'm going to say that's truetoo.
I'm not even fucking concernedwith the truth anymore.

(15:04):
If we can elect a presidentthat doesn't give a fuck about
the truth, why do I have tostart Like am I supposed to be
better than our president?
Just fucking.
Okay, there we go, you get, youget that.
So five nights at Freddy'sprobably going to be announced
next week.
All the 12 year olds are goingto fucking lose their shit over

(15:25):
it.
So we're going to have another,yet another children's property
and dead by daylight.
So that's going to attract thewrong kind of people and that's
just what we have to deal withnow, I guess.
So the next item of business Ineed to have like a sound for
whenever there is a new item ofbusiness to discuss.

(15:47):
I don't know, I guess that'spretty much this.
Yeah, item two is that we are.
They announced on May 1st theyposted something about the
archives and the challenges andthe quests and all of that
bullshit on how this is going towork, how the rift is changing,

(16:10):
how all the bullshit on theplanet is changing, and so we're
supposed to enjoy this.
We're supposed to love it.
We're supposed to.
It's supposed to be so good forus that it's going to change
our lives.
It's going to bring everyperson who stopped playing DBD
back into DBD.
I'm going to say, hey Nikki,hey Nikki.
Let me see.

(16:32):
Bhvr just released their updatetalking about how Rift
challenges are changing.
Check this out and let me knowwhat you think of the changes.
Okay, period, we'll paste andthen I'm copying it and then

(16:56):
we'll see what he says, and okayso he's going off.
So wait, hey, while he's going,I so, hey, while he's going, I
can do the.
Yeah, there we go.
See, that's our good intromusic, although I want the.

(17:16):
You know the song?
I don't know the song, it'sprobably got a name.
It's like you know the fuckingpizza guy.
I remember there was a, see, Ican't remember, wasn't it grape
escape?
Or there was a?
There was an old board gamecalled the grape escape where
you were grapes and you weremade of like clay.

(17:38):
They were like clay, grapeshaped figures and you would go
around the board if you landedon certain and this is where it
gets demented whenever youlanded on certain squares, your
grape would be executed in somekind of imaginative way.
That's not the sound I waslooking for, but that you know

(18:02):
you get it.
So, anyway, I remember it wouldget like smashed in a fucking
like that you know you get it.
So, anyway, I remember it wouldget like smashed in a fucking
like like a.
You know a thing where you like,with the slits on it, that you
like you, um, juice a lemon with.
You know, like a lemon juicer,the handheld lemon juicer where
you squeeze it, it fuckingjuices out.
You would like kill yourcharacter with this thing.

(18:23):
You would like kill yourcharacter with this thing, and
like the kids were fuckingexcited and that song was played
.
The Nikki song was playing inthe background, which I've got
to find it now because it'sgoing to bother me if I don't
find this.
Okay, grape escape, grapeescape, uh, commercial board
game.
Oh my gosh, it's actually onhere.

(18:44):
Okay, hang on A grape escape1992.
I would have been, yeah, Iwould have been young.
What is this shit?
He has a VHS tape.
Let's see what this is allabout.
We gotta be quiet in order tosneak out and make our grape

(19:06):
escape.
Let's go.
Okay, so it's playing theMichael Myers thing.
The grapes are trying to getout of, I guess, prison, and so
you roll and you go down theboard and if you get caught, I
guess you're executed.
Okay, hang on.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Who rolled that?
You've been a bad grape.
No, no, no, no, no, I'm notabout to be sliced with a bad

(19:30):
line like that Dude, what thefuck he rolled funny.
And so now he's about to besliced in half with big, huge
shears.
The grape is about to beexecuted Brutally, brutally.
No, see, we got this.
He's standing on us.
Rape is about to be executedBrutally, brutally.
See, we got this.

Speaker 3 (19:51):
He's gaining on us.
Why does this keep happening?
You know, if you weren't sosweet, you wouldn't be in this
jam.

Speaker 1 (19:58):
If you weren't so sweet, you wouldn't be in this
jam.
This is fucked up, Because now,instead of the shears, there is
a boot, a levitating boot thatyou put the little grape, your
little character under and thenyou like, you push or like press
a lever and it smashes thefucking clay ass grape down with

(20:21):
the fucking boot.
This is this is disgusting.
What they're really playingMichael Myers theme.
Okay, so they're going aroundthe board.
Now You've got to, you've gotto see this shit.
It's wild and they're allbreathing heavy.

(20:42):
These are little.
Who are you?
You can call me Booberry.

Speaker 3 (20:43):
And today you're all breathing heavy.
These are little.
Why are you doing this to us?
Who are you?
You can call me Boo-Barry, andtoday you're not very lucky.

Speaker 1 (20:50):
Okay, I think this is not the regular commercial.
This can't be really happening.
So what is the next?
I wasn't even remotely clever.
The next method of death is,like, there is a like, a little
kind of a what do you call that?
The pin, the rolling pin thatyou would use on like pie, you

(21:10):
know the dough, or whatever tosmash it out.
You put your little grapecharacter down and you like,
smash it with this fuckingrolling pin.
And this is a game childrenplayed.
Ok, this is a game I played.
If you go to prison and you tryto escape, you are going to be
smashed by a gigantic assrolling pin or, if you're lucky,
a giant pair of shears will cutyou in half.

(21:33):
That was my childhood.
Okay, I got that sound.
Hey, there we go.
Yeah, yeah, that was mychildhood.
That sound effect.
Right, there is my childhood.
Okay, I'm getting off topic.
Why do we get on that?
Oh, yeah, nikki, we didn't evenhear the fucking song.

(21:56):
That wasn't.
It Was this.
It Hang on, shut up, sound.
You can hear them being killed,that's it.
And they're smashing andkilling and destroying.
These children are laughing asthese grapes are being maimed

(22:21):
beyond all recognition.
Like that is beyond fucked upup that we're doing that to
prisoners.
You are a prisoner and if youescape, I will be the warden.
I am your new God and if youtry to escape, I.
Oh, jesus Christ.
What is happening to thisplanet?
This is like what they're doingin El Salvador, and I'm getting

(22:44):
so far off topic that I don'teven know where were we.
What were we doing?
I don't remember.
Oh yeah, we were talking aboutthe archives update, isn't that
right?
We were talking archives update.
Okay, nikki, tell us about thearchives update.
All right, nikki, are you there?
All right, nikki, are you there?

(23:08):
Oh, here he is.

Speaker 4 (23:09):
Here he is.

Speaker 1 (23:11):
Okay, yeah, oh yeah.

Speaker 4 (23:23):
Uh-oh, they renamed the archives to the Rift.

Speaker 1 (23:27):
What, what.

Speaker 4 (23:29):
Shafa Ver for the Rift, like that's the.

Speaker 1 (23:32):
Oh, jesus Christ, Nikki, nikki, oh Jesus.

Speaker 4 (23:39):
They just repackaged old pasta with a different sauce
.

Speaker 1 (23:40):
Fucked about it, let's break.
Okay.
So they repackaged old pastawith a different sauce.
Fugged about it, let's break.
Okay.
So they repackaged old pastawith a different sauce.
So they're calling it the riftnow instead of archives.
I thought they already calledit that.
Like what the fuck?
I need to have it pulled upbecause I have no clue what
fucking Nikki's talking about,because, guess what?
I didn't read the shit.
So that's hang on.
Do I have a sound for that?
Yeah, okay, there we go.

(24:03):
There's a sound for.
There's a sound for everything.
Okay, so what it said newarchives, new name archives will
be referred to.
Okay, so he was right.
They did change the name, withthe change reflected in the main
menu.
When you click the button,you'll be sent to the riffs free
and premium track.
We know there's abundance oflore associated with the
archives and we're going tostreamline the process.
Oh, yeah, because then we'regoing to, then we're going to

(24:25):
allow everybody to seeeverything, I believe.
So, any, any who?
Where was I going?
Oh, yeah, nikki, you were.
You were still talking to usabout this garbage ass update.
So talk to us more about thegarbage ass update.

Speaker 4 (24:40):
Take this down like a good marinara First off from
challenges to quest Nah, kid.
Take this down like a goodmarinara First off from
challenges to quests Nah, kid,that ain't innovation.
It's not, that's just busy workin a nicer suit.

Speaker 2 (24:51):
It's true, back in my day.

Speaker 4 (24:52):
You picked a challenge.
You did the damn thing and youmoved on.
That's true.
Now everything's just on andtracking all at once.

Speaker 1 (25:01):
I don't know if I like that, because whenever you
were playing, if you had aparticularly difficult challenge
, there was an element of stressthat came with it.
You had to have the perfectsynergy of events.
You had to do this 12 times inone match and fucking tickle his

(25:23):
anus or whatever.
I don't even know I'm going tohave to have.
Should I edit that part out?
No, I don't edit any parts out,but you get what I'm saying.
You got to do 27 randomdepraved things in a match to
get the challenge.
Okay, nikki, keep going.

Speaker 4 (25:41):
So what's the point?
Huh, yeah, what am I doing?
12 chores at the same time soBHVR can pretend it's quality of
life.
Yeah, hey, you.
What?
That's anti-Italian labortactics.

Speaker 1 (25:52):
Okay, anti-Italian labor.
They have a very strong unionin Italy, I think.

Speaker 4 (25:58):
That's what that is.
Yeah, and I know you got dailyquests, aka the microwave daily
rituals is that what they are?
Rift quest fancy wording fortry a little harder stupid okay,
rift quest in daily quest.

Speaker 1 (26:13):
What the fuck are they talking about?
Okay, from, yes, the challengesystem, four levels, which would
earn you rift fragments, nowtone challenges become quests,
unlike challenges.
You don't have to select aquest.
Okay, whatever, the dailyrituals are now daily quests,

(26:33):
and then you have a rift quest.
What the fuck is happening here?
I don't get it.
Put on some fucking drums orsomething for this.
I don't know.
I don't get it.
Put on some fucking drums orsomething for this.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I.
I'm trying to go through all ofthis and it's just fucking
annoying as shit.
Trying to parse all this out.

Speaker 4 (26:52):
Milestone quest five, hook 10, hook 500.
Hook this, yeah, hook this shitwhat do you?
To be a whole ass event tome.
And now it's just thrown inlike garnish.

Speaker 1 (27:05):
Okay, so now we have event quests, milestone quests,
riff quests, daily quests,fucking quests, stupid quests,
johnny quests, I don't give ashit.

Speaker 4 (27:16):
And then what?
Pin a quest during a match.
Oh my God, wow, realgroundbreaking.
So you're pinning them.
I've been mentally pinning mybusiness meetings since before.
They coded pallets.
You feel me, yes.

Speaker 1 (27:27):
I feel you let's call compendium.
Oh my God.

Speaker 4 (27:29):
They say, the old challenges are still available
for now.
But you and me both know whatthat means.

Speaker 1 (27:34):
I think I have an idea.

Speaker 4 (27:35):
Nikki, there's a fucking marinara shelf in the
back of the store.

Speaker 1 (27:38):
Uh-oh.

Speaker 4 (27:45):
They're going to rot it out and claim it's sun
setting.
You're right.
You're goddamn right.
They say we're retiring thecompendium.
I'm flying to Montrealdemanding a sit down with
whoever still got enough respectleft to face me.
There's nobody in.

Speaker 1 (27:53):
Montreal who has any respect from somebody south of
this border.
And granted, there is a betterreason now than there used to be
for not having a respect foranybody south of this border.
I apologize on our behalf fortrying to make you the 51st
state, but we're getting aheadof ourselves.
Nikki, let's keep going.
What's happening now?

(28:14):
Oh shit, I accidentally skipped10 seconds.

Speaker 4 (28:17):
Plan here?
Yeah, what's the plan?
Consolidating, yeah,streamlining, yeah, right,
trying to shove everything underthe RIF banner so they can
nudge people harder toward thepremium track.

Speaker 2 (28:29):
Oh there it is.

Speaker 1 (28:30):
That's where the money is.
Guys, I don't have a cha-ching,but if I had a cha-ching, I
would be cha-ching-ing extremelyhard and fast and furious right
now, because that might be whatit's about.
The more they can have youreyes looking at that little
thing and showing you what youdon't have access to and what

(28:53):
you'll never have access tounless you give us $5, unless
you give us $10.
That is what you will neverhave, that everybody else is
going to have, and then you'regoing to feel like a piece of
shit because you don't have thatpremium track or whatever.
You're not going to get thatcosmetic that.
You've got your eyes on.
That shirt, that fucking.
Why are we buying clothes forcharacters?

(29:15):
These clothes aren't real.
And then some people wear thesame fucking shirt four times a
week, but their avatars got 27shirts.
Why?

Speaker 4 (29:23):
same for players?
No, it's not riff monetizationphase three you're goddamn right
survivor main say I love thelore no nah we're gonna go into
it cut scene yeah last technoand flashlight click like it's
gonna bring back their dad andthe worst part, what they didn't
even consult s-a-B-A-M.

(29:44):
Not once Not a single ravioliwas offered.
Man no respect no respect,meanwhile that powdered clown,
earl Grey probably sitting inhis doily wrap gaming chair.

Speaker 1 (29:55):
Doily wrapped.

Speaker 4 (29:56):
Sipping his chamomile .

Speaker 1 (29:59):
Oh God.

Speaker 4 (29:59):
And clapping for BHVR like they just reinvented tea.
Oh, Jesus, oh what a wonderfulsystem.

Speaker 1 (30:06):
I say oh, jesus, shut the fuck up, Earl.

Speaker 4 (30:09):
In closing, this update is a sauce swap with no
flavor.

Speaker 1 (30:13):
I agree.

Speaker 4 (30:14):
It's a disrespectful remodeling of a.
Oh shit, sape coupe en mar,sape coupe en mar.
Jesus Christ, it's a walk.
Worst of all, it's done withoutthe family's approval.
And my Sub to group L JesusChrist, it's a Shop on me or
stand beyond by chair and, worstof all, it's done without the
family's approval.
Yes, you're right.
The only quest I recognizewhat's a?
quest Is the one where I findwhoever came up with this system
and send them a gift basket ofgarlic knots with a live fucking

(30:37):
raccoon in it.
Now, if you'll excuse me, Igotta pin a new quest.
Surv it.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I gotto pin a new quest.

Speaker 1 (30:48):
Survive 12 straight matches without DCing from rain.

Speaker 4 (30:49):
I can't do that, it's impossible.
Just like forgiveness.
You want me to rate this thingon the pasta scale, kid.

Speaker 1 (30:56):
We're going to hold off on rating on the pasta scale
because I'm sure it would beentertaining.
Thank you, nikki, for coming by.
Let me give you a.
You know we've got our newsound effects that makes it
sound like he's a teenheartthrob.
By the way, guys on the Discord, we actually have a picture of
Nikki and I'm throwing up somepictures of Earl Grey.
If you want to join the Discord, definitely do that.

(31:17):
Leave me five stars, all thatbullshit.
But we actually have somepictures of Nikki, ai Dente now
ready to rock.
So that's the update for that.
I think we also have a big SkullMerchant update and one of our
viewers and one of our Discordregulars, dak, was saying it
made it look like that thiskiller is going to be confusing

(31:40):
as fuck, or I think he saidcomplicated as fuck, I don't
know.
But I don't even know if I wantto go into the Skull Merchant
change.
I may just look at it realquick Skull Merchant.
It would help if I spell theshit right DBD, and then I'm
going to see if BHVR has anykind of anything there.

(32:01):
Why is okay?
So I made the point.
I searched it on X and I wasn'ton X when I searched.
See, that joke is getting sofucking old at this point.
What was I saying?
Okay, I was saying I searchedit and the BHVR's thing didn't
came up.
What did come up was a pictureof a woman twerking for some

(32:23):
reason, and I don't know what acurvy woman twerking has to do
with the Skull Merchant change,but we're about to figure that
out.
So here we go.
What is change?
We remove the killer or revealwhen hacking a drone.
Okay, that's good.
The global detect.
Can I be honest here?

(32:44):
I'm like tired of this shit.
Like we're, we're good.
I'm going to have to go throughthis whole fucking list and
like read it out loud and thenriff on each one, and I don't
give a fuck about this because Idon't really care about this
killer.
So I think I'm just going to,okay, do two, two different
types of fucking drones.

(33:05):
One of them is a stealth drone,the other one's a drone buddy.
That's what it fucking is.
Right there we got a dronebuddy, stealth.
Okay, stealth drones injure,but not survive.
Claw traps can be removed.
What the fuck?
They made a fucking cartoon outof this garbage.

(33:28):
Okay, this is okay.
They made a cartoon which showsthe skull merchant using the
little remote.
It says hold, and it's got aclock, and then it's got a
fucking eyeball, and then theeyeball's on a survivor that's
running.
The survivor looks scared andstanding there and then the

(33:49):
eyeball goes away.
If you were to look at thisimage without reading, you would
have absolutely zero fuckingidea what's happening.
Hey, nikki, they updated SkullMerchant and released or they
are updating, hang on, they areupdating Skull Merchant yet

(34:12):
again and released a huge updatenote that I don't want to
fucking read.
But get this shit.
They posted a cartoon that'ssupposed to explain something,

(34:34):
and I don't even know what, what, what this fucking shit means,
because I didn't read thefucking notes.
Okay, look at this fucking workof arts.
Okay, fucking work of fuckingart.

(34:54):
And let me know your realthoughts about this.
Uh, garbage, this garbage,garbage, garbage in JPEG form.
Okay, there we go, and then Iam going to paste, and then I am

(35:19):
going to send it and, like Isaid, remember it's the Skull
Merchant's remote.
Hold something, flamingfettuccine.
Okay, hold, hold, hold.
Oh, oh no, he said something.
I don't know if I can say, butI'm gonna say it anyway.
I don't know if this is okay,but it's he, okay, let's do it,

(35:39):
we're gonna do it anyway, I'mnot, I'm not stopping, not going
to start.

Speaker 4 (35:44):
What the fuck is this ?
I don't know what's the actualflame in Fettuccine.
Am I looking?

Speaker 1 (35:49):
at here Fettuccine.
It's Fettuccine, apparentlyit's Fettuccine.

Speaker 4 (35:53):
So let me get this straight.
Yeah, they dropped a fuckingpaint-by-numbers stick figure
cartoon to explain SkullMerchant, the most lawless
wireless, cluttered, anti-funWi-Fi signal-lopping-ass killer
in the fog.
And this is how theycommunicate balance changes now
Well, yes, With some bootlegstoryboard from a
fourth-grader's anamorphs phase.

Speaker 1 (36:12):
I don't know what anamorphs are, but that's funny.
I think it's funny at leastBecause the anamorphs are like
whatever.
Okay, keep going.

Speaker 4 (36:21):
All right, panel one we got the drone, big whoop,
Then a clock Hold D.

Speaker 1 (36:28):
It just says hold, but he thinks it says hold.
Does it say hold D?
I hope it doesn't say hold.
No, it says hold and that's it.
It doesn't say hold D.

Speaker 4 (36:40):
That's what.
Hold this dick ick.
Hold this dick ick.
What the fuck is this tellingme?

Speaker 1 (36:46):
I don't know.

Speaker 4 (36:46):
Am I disarming it?

Speaker 1 (36:47):
I don't know.

Speaker 4 (36:48):
Am I charging it?
I don't know, am I summoningfucking Exodia.
Who is Exodia?
I?

Speaker 1 (36:52):
don't what the fuck is happening.
Is Exodia from the Animorphs?
Is that?
Are we sticking on theAnimorphs thing, ex?
He's fucking talking abouteugeo, which I've never watched,
and I don't get his fuckingreference.

(37:14):
Nikki has evolved into amonster then boom, boom, red eye
.
Yeah, survivor starts sprintingI don't know what it means,
just stands there like they justshit themselves mid-loop.

Speaker 4 (37:25):
I think last frame smiley boy probably.
I don't know what the smileyboy I don't know what any of it
means the dev who thought thiswas clever Could be, I bet that
motherfucker drinks roomtemperature La Croix and calls
it immersive.

Speaker 1 (37:40):
You know what?

Speaker 4 (37:41):
this is.
This is how BHVR says.
We know our killer design is soass we can't even explain it
with words anymore.
This ain't a patch note.
This is a fucking cry for helpwhat the fuck is happening.

Speaker 1 (37:56):
Room temperature lacroix, lacroix I don't know
how to pronounce that fuckingword.
The lacroix is what I thoughtit was, isn't it?
Lacroix?
That fucking shit ass water,that stuff tastes like ass,
which I think diarrhea is justliquid ass, but anyway back to
the point Skull Merchant used tobe a surveillance nightmare.
You're right.

Speaker 4 (38:17):
Then a four drone chokehold queen.

Speaker 1 (38:19):
Now what?
I don't know.

Speaker 4 (38:21):
She's just a meme delivery system.

Speaker 1 (38:22):
Yeah, Sounds right.
What's next?
Huh.

Speaker 4 (38:25):
She pulls out a chalkboard and starts teaching
basic algebra during chases.

Speaker 1 (38:28):
I wouldn't be surprised.
Oh no, okay good.

Speaker 4 (38:40):
Oh, he plays Legion.
Shunji Noni.
Okay, that's true, they do, yes, oh, and are fucking TED.
Talk now I'm out, capisce?
Yes?

Speaker 1 (38:54):
Oh, and he said capisce.
Right, that's actually okay,that's good there.
All right, so we've got thiscartoon.
I'm purposely not even going tolearn what this fucking cartoon
means, because I don't careenough and I don't know what the
eyeball means.
I don't know why we're holdingdown the D.
I have no idea.
Okay, so we got the quality oflife update.

(39:16):
We've got the skull merchantupdate.
We have a potential Five Nightsat Freddy's.
We have new shit on the store,on the DVD store.
And, by the way, I don't know ifyou've ever been to the Dead by
Daylight store on the website.
They usually have some coolshit, but then they have some
shit.
Shit.
They have a board game thatlooks pretty cool.

(39:37):
They have a mystery t-shirtbundle.
Oh, I should do this.
Oh, no, they don't have it inlarge.
Oh, god damn it.
It was 20 bucks and you getfour fucking shirts and they
don't have it in large.
They have it in medium, but notlarge.
Hey, what if I did this?
What if I bought the fuckingmedium?
Okay, here we go.

(39:58):
Stay with me.
Stay with me Is that I am goingto get the mediums and I'm
going to lose enough weight towear these medium fucking
t-shirts.
Wait, no, is that the right one?
What's this one?
No, no, that's like a dis I'mgoing to lose weight.

(40:19):
I'm going to lose weight.
It would be a battle, I'm goingto lose weight.

Speaker 2 (40:26):
You're not done with that.
We got two words for you.

Speaker 1 (40:31):
You're not done with that.
We got two words for you.
Okay, so that's it.
I'm wondering.
It says it contains four unisexDead by Daylight shirts for 20
bucks that's five bucks a pop.
And it says right here thattees that are being individually
sold in the shop are notincluded, only out of print

(40:52):
inventory.
So you're going to get shirtsthat they're not even selling on
the store anymore.
But the question is whathappens if I get survivor main
fucking shirts Like that's goingto be the worst fucking thing
ever.
Or the other thing I can do isget these fucking shirts and
then use them as a giveaway.
The other thing I can do is getthese fucking shirts and then
use them as a giveaway.
That's fucking genius.

(41:15):
I'm fucking genius.
I get the shirts, give themaway.
It's five bucks.
I don't give a shit.
That's what I'm going to do.
I'm going to do that shit right, fucking now.
Hang on, I'm putting in my, I'mputting in my shit, we're doing
it.
I'm putting in my shit here andthen I'm doing it.
You can't stop me from fuckingdoing it, because doing it is

(41:40):
what I'm doing.
And then I'm putting in thecode here Sign me up for news
and offers from the store.
Fine, what the fuck ever.
We've got it.
And then I have no gift code,so I'm doing it.
It's being done.
It's done right, fucking.
Now, there we go.
And then you got my paymentdetails.
Couldn't be verified, what thefuck?
Oh, because it's got my oldshit on here.

(42:01):
Okay, so we got to hang on.
Now we're going to do it.
We're going to get it done.
Why is toxic shopping online?
As he's doing a podcast, he'sactually purchasing items from
BHVR.
I'm giving him my fucking moneyand I don't know why this is.
I clicked pay now and it didn'teven pay.

(42:21):
Your order is being processed.
I hope I put the right fuckingaddress.
I wasn't even.
It's.
It's hard to do shit wheneveryou're not, whenever you're not
fully paying attention.
I wasn't even.
It's.
It's hard to do shit wheneveryou're not, whenever you're not
fully paying attention.
I don't know if shopping is abest thing to do.
Okay, I got my medium t-shirtbundle.
That may or may not be a goodidea Probably not a good idea

(42:44):
but if it's garbage, I will getrid of it and you will receive
it.
Hey, nikki, I just bought.
I just bought a mystery t-shirtbundle from the BHVR store, but
I'm worried because this shitmight suck.

(43:06):
And I bought medium shirtstelling the viewers I would lose
weight.
But what, if there are, youknow what?
Just fucking.
Whatever, I'm going to get intoit.
I'm just going to go talk toNikki myself live.
I know it's not that exciting,really, because he always sounds

(43:40):
like shit whenever I talk tohim live.
But I'm working on that partand I think I think it's going a
little bit better, but stillnot great, okay.
So let's go to agents.
Let's talk to Nikki right here,not Johnny Jabroni, the other
character I'm working on.
But here we go, okay.
So we got the voice here.
We've got that, okay, and thenlet's go, and then let's uh,

(44:01):
yeah, make it sound monotone,and then we're going to do speed
.
I'm going to move up just alittle similarity.
It says here uh, consistency,I'm going to do kind of this,
and then we're going to hit, say, because I have to change, like
how he acts.
So now let's talk to him andsee, I'm calling, I'm calling

(44:24):
Nikki.
Now, nikki, nikki, can you hearme?
Are you there?
Are you alive?

Speaker 4 (44:29):
Hi yo, who the fuck is.
Is Nikki you calling ahairdresser from Midtown?
Are you talking to thelegendary Nikki noodle arms, a
idente executive vice don ofdigital entertainment?
Huh, of course I'm alive.
If I wasn't, you could see agoddamn parade in little Italy
right now mourning the loss ofthe greatest dead by daylight
killer in history.
Speak up, pies in.

(44:49):
What do you from me?
And if this is some kind ofEarl Grey prank, I ain't in the
mood for British bullshit today.
What's on your mind?

Speaker 1 (44:56):
Jesus Christ, Nicky, you're really aggressive.
I did not expect that level ofaggression.

Speaker 4 (45:03):
Ah, you see, kid, that's just how we do it in
Little Italy.
You come at me with Nicky.
I gotta flex a little muscle,keep up appearances.
You know, being a Don, yougotta be ready for feuds,
betrayals and them anti-Italianmatchmaking algorithms that keep
sticking me with the worstsurvivors.
But don't worry, I'm all class,unless you start talking like
Earl Grey or disrespecting mypasta.
So what's the real reason youcalled huh?

(45:26):
You need advice.
You wanna know who invented themoonwalk tech?
Or you're just here to admirethe legend?

Speaker 1 (45:34):
Well, I'm not here to admire the legend number one,
because it's questionablewhether you're even a legend at
all.

Speaker 4 (45:43):
Aye, what the fuck, kid Questionable.
You got some kind of nerve, huh.
Who the hell you think taughtStarva how to swing a blade
before he even knew what a genwas?
Huh, you think those ghost facemind games invented themselves?
That's the problem with thisgeneration.
No respect, you sound likeyou're on Earl Grey's payroll,
trying to undermine the noodlearms legacy.

Speaker 1 (46:02):
Go ahead, keep running your mouth.
Let's do it.
Shut the fuck up.
I'm trying to talk to you, okay.
You're going to listen wheneverI fucking talk.
I'm trying to talk to you, okay, you're going to listen
whenever I fucking talk.
I'm the host of Tamping themSoftly.
We're on the podcast right nowand you're the goddamn co-host.

Speaker 4 (46:18):
You get that.
Oh hey, yo, now we got a realtough guy.
Huh?
The big shot host with thefancy podcast thinks he can bark
orders at Nicky Noodle Arms.
Fuck about it.
Listen, I know my role.
I'm supposed to sit here.
Let you run your mouth andpretend like you invented
content creation, but don'tforget, it's my voice that
brings the listeners in, notyour corny Twitch stories.
You want me to behave?
Fine, I'll play along, but theminute you start praising Earl

(46:41):
Gray or some survivor main, I'mmuting myself for family
business Capace.
Now what's this week's bullshittopic?
Or you just want to keepthrowing insults like a dollar
store wise guy?

Speaker 1 (46:51):
Hey, hey, okay.
So here's what we were talkingabout.
Actually, I don't remember whatwe were talking about.
Oh yeah, here's what we weretalking about.
So I bought on BHVR's website.
I bought some shirts.
I bought a four pack of shirts,but they're mediums and they're
mystery out of print shirts soyou can't find them anywhere.

(47:12):
I bought a four pack of theseshirts.
I said I was going to loseweight to fit into the shirts,
but then my question became iswhat if they're shitty ass,
survivor shirts, like a Sable orMichaela or like a uh, a Dwight
or a Meg shirt?
What do I even do with them?
What would you do with them?

Speaker 4 (47:28):
Let me tell you something.
If I opened that mystery packand it was full of Meg Dwight oh
God forbid Michaela shirts, I'dlose my fucking mind.
You know what I'd do.
I'd march right down to thefamily's pasta shop, use them as
rags to mop up the marinara andthen I'd send BHVR an invoice
for emotional damages.
Classic anti-Italian techsending killer Maine survivor.
Merch, listen, if you want tomake it work, maybe you frame

(47:51):
them as a warning to all thewannabe survivors or donate them
to some Dwight Maine in need ofa personality, or, better yet,
put them on eBay as cursedrelics from the Earl Grey fan
club.
What you really going to wear?
A sable shirt outside?
You trying to get mugged byfashion itself?
Kid, how'd you get roped intothis again?
Huh?

Speaker 1 (48:10):
It was just an idea.
I saw it on the website.
I saw it on the website, Ithought it was a good idea, but
I didn't think the whole fuckingthing through, okay.

Speaker 4 (48:20):
Ah, you see, kid, that's how they get you.
Bhvr plays you like a fiddle,throwing mystery boxes around,
counting on you not thinkingpast the checkout screen.
It's their whole gimmick.
Just like that time theyaccidentally nerfed Ghostface
right before my little ItalyInvitational.
Pure sabotage.
Look, next time you want to buymerch, give me a call first,
I'll run it by the family.
Maybe get you a custom NickyNoodle Arms tee, guaranteed to

(48:43):
not have a single Dwight on it.
So what, you gonna keep theshirts or you thinking about
dumping them already, huh?

Speaker 1 (48:48):
Hang on, nicky, you just brought up a great idea
that I have never thought of isto make an official Camping them
Softly.
You know that's our podcast.
You're the co-host, I'm thehost Toxic Teacher, you remember
me?
Have a Nicky Noodle Arms AIDente official T-shirt of the
podcast.
What do you think about thatand what would it even look like

(49:11):
of the podcast?
What do you think about thatand what would it even look like
?
What would it say we're comingup with?

Speaker 4 (49:18):
this right now live on the podcast.
Uh yo, now you're speaking myfucking language.
Good shirt, that screams class.

Speaker 1 (49:34):
Oh sorry, I interrupted.
Keep going, wait what happened?
Oh shit, it just it just uh.
Hey, it cut us off.
Nikki, we were just talking,but I need to talk to you again.
We were talking about you'rethe co-host on camping them
softly.
I'm the host, toxic teacher.
But we're going to come up withan official Nikki noodle arms,
a identity t-shirt.
What does it need to look like?
What does it need to have on it?
Does it have any words?
Does it just have your picture?
What do we put on there?

Speaker 4 (49:55):
ayo, listen up.
First off, if my beautiful mugain't front and center on this
shirt, what the fuck are we evendoing here?
Huh, you gotta have me sittingin my gaming chair facing little
Italy, right?
Maybe a big bowl of spaghettiand a ghost face mask sitting on
the table next to me.
Let the people know that'sfamily business.
You get me.
And don't forget the taglineacross the top, bold as hell,
camping them softly Respect thepasta, fear the noodle.

(50:19):
On the back, slap a quote likeit ain't anti-Italian if you're
DC.
Before they can report you.
Eh, maybe throw in a tinycrossed out Earl Grey logo for
good measure.
Gotta remind everyone where thereal war is.
You want full color or youwanna keep this classy black and
white like a proper wise guy?

Speaker 1 (50:37):
Well, hold on a sec.
You said Earl Grey has a logo.
I didn't even know that.
I've never seen his logo.

Speaker 4 (50:47):
Ah, you see, kid, that's cause you ain't been in
the trenches of the T-Wars likeI have Earl Grey.
That's because you ain't beenin the trenches of the T-Wars
like I have Earl Gray.
He's always trying to class itup right.
His logo is probably just abusted teacup with a little
pinky sticking out, all daintyand shit.
But I tell you, it don't matterif he's got a logo or just a
stain on his doily.
The important thing is we crossit out.
It's about making a statementnot accuracy.

Speaker 1 (51:07):
Right right, right, right, okay.
Okay, nikki, I don't rememberthat we were talking about the
t-shirts.
I'm gonna have to try to loseweight, so I think I'm not gonna
be able to eat pasta for maybea month to fit into these
fucking medium ass t-shirts whatI probably saying?

Speaker 4 (51:26):
are you hearing yourself?
Right now you talking aboutskipping pasta just to fit in
some medium t-shirt for thebrand.
Yeah, that's the kind of answer.

Speaker 1 (51:34):
Sorry, I interrupted.
Yes, that's what I'm thinkingabout.

Speaker 4 (51:39):
Ah, you got spirit, I'll give you that.
But listen, true respect forthe family means you never turn
your back on pasta.
You want to fit in the shirt?
You just stretch it out.
Wear it with pride and let themknow it's limited edition.
One size fits Nikki.
I didn't build my empiresacrifice and rigatoni for a
couple inches of cotton capiche.
But hey, if you really got tolose the noodles for a month,

(52:00):
just make sure you're doing itfor the right reasons.
The shirt's going to look goodon you either way, cause it's
got me on it.

Speaker 1 (52:06):
I'm not talking about your shirt.
I'm not talking about yourshirt.
In our previous conversation Iwas talking about buying a
four-pack of random ass shirtsfrom BHVR's website that may be
survivor-sided, but we don'teven fucking know.
I don't know what to do withthe shirts if they suck.
Do I just give them to ahomeless person or the Salvation
Army, or what?

Speaker 4 (52:29):
You got me all riled up over nothing.
I thought you was disrespectingthe family shirt, not some
bargain bin BHVR rags.
Listen, those mystery shirts,classic BHVR right, probably
four shirts with Dwight's dumbface on them or some shit.
If they suck, fucked about it.
Don't waste good closet space.
Give them to the Salvation Army, wrap up some leftovers in them
, whatever Hell.

(52:50):
You could use them as rags towipe up survivor tears after a
Ghostface 4 kill.
But just so we're clear, if oneof those shirts got Earl Grey's
mug on it, you got to promiseme you burn it all right?
No charity deserves that curse.
You want advice on selling themon.

Speaker 1 (53:04):
No, Nicky, Nicky, I'm going to go now.
Thanks for talking with us.
That that's it for you for fora little bit right all right,
kid, you go handle your business.

Speaker 4 (53:16):
Remember, if you get stuck with any anti-italian
shirts or you need real advice,you know where to find me.
Stay sharp and don't let anyearl gray types mess with you.
Catch you next time campingthem softly style respect the
the pasta.

Speaker 1 (53:30):
Thank you, nikki, for that.
Okay, this is off the fuckingchain.
We haven't even gotten to themeat of the episode.
We haven't even done the we'reat an hour, almost an hour.
We haven't even done the mainthing we came to do, which do
you remember we had talked aboutit last time?

(53:51):
I don't know if anyone listensto this shit, but we were
supposed to go into a deep dive.
I'm trying to even find thefucking thing.
I can't even find it.
Deep dive, I don't know.
What am I even fucking doinghere?
What am I doing with my life?
I take a week off.

(54:11):
Everything is just bullshit andI can't know.
What am I even fucking doinghere?
What am I doing with my life?
I take a week off.
Everything is just bullshit andI can't even think straight.
So stop, stop, stop, stop.
Okay, here we go.
So what we were going to do iswe're going over in our deep
dive.
I thought I had a Lord deepdive song that I can't fucking
find and you would think, justimagine, just imagine for one

(54:33):
sec.
Let's warp to another dimensionwhere Toxic is ready for all of
his segments, has everythingyou know good to go.
Everything flows well from onepoint to another.
That is not going to happenhere.
So let me see if I can find.
There was a song that I hadthat was supposed to be like

(54:57):
talking shit about survivors.

Speaker 2 (55:02):
This wasn't it yo, you and me sit and buy a hook
talking survivor lore.
Let's take a look first.

Speaker 1 (55:10):
Up's dwight I'll take it.
That's actually pretty good.

Speaker 2 (55:28):
That's a little shitty.
Uh, uh, that's a little shitty,actually, what we're gonna do.

Speaker 1 (55:43):
Okay, how do I stop you?
What I want to do is I want toredo that, but I want to do it
in the new model.
Remember, we're back to thisshit again.
Is I need to hear the new one,so I can, so we can.
At least.
That sounds god-awful, if youremember this garbage.

(56:13):
This is the one that's it.

Speaker 2 (56:24):
This one's good here we're gonna hang them up and
seal their fate.

Speaker 1 (56:41):
Okay, anyway, that's it.
So I'm glad I found that song.
I'm gonna I'm gonna have tomark that because I was looking
for that shit.
So there we we go.
There's something else.
Let me see what's going on.
I have to check my phone.
Why is he checking his phoneduring a fucking podcast?
I am here to listen to him andhe's fucking checking his
goddamn phone.

(57:02):
Hang on, I'm actually textingduring a fucking podcast.
Okay, anyway, we're back ontrack here.
So we've got, uh, the, thesurvivor of the week that we're
going to talk about here ontalking shit.

(57:23):
There we go.
I can turn that down.
We still got the music.
Anywho, the one we're going tobe talking about this week is
none other than fucking NiaCarlson.
Oh, no, no, I'm not giving herthat.
There we go.

(57:44):
Nia Carlson, everybody.
I don't know if you're a Niamain.
If you are, then you're asurvivor main.
So there's a problem there.
But you know, we've gotsomebody that we need to talk
about.
We're going to talk about Nia'slife story.
We're going to go through herentire history and we're going
to figure out what makes hertick or not tick, and I don't

(58:08):
know if she ticks or if shedoesn't, or if she has nervous
ticks.
But we're going to find out.
So let me turn that fuckingsong off.
It's bothering me because it'sin my fucking ear and I don't
know where it is on my fuckingthing.
Okay, there, we go.
There it is Okay, we're done.
Now Nia Carlson, everybody,let's go go in.
The only thing I know about herright now is that she likes to

(58:34):
do graffiti, right, she crouchesa lot.
She wears shitty ass outfits,like she's a fucking skater,
like she listened to a lot ofshitty music, like punk music.
I'm a metal guy, but we don'tdress like that.
So, anyway, now let's go.
Nikki, tell us about fuckingNia Carlson.

(58:54):
Everybody's probably tired ofhim at this point.
I think downloads are weaker.
No, they're not actually, butthey might be because of Nikki.
Nikki go.

Speaker 4 (59:06):
All right, buckle the fuck in.
I'm taking you through theentire Nia Carlson origin story.

Speaker 1 (59:12):
Are you Start to finish?
Hang on, let's turn you upWhile.

Speaker 4 (59:14):
Rojan heard like she just dropped a flashlight
mid-loop.

Speaker 1 (59:17):
Okay.

Speaker 4 (59:17):
Going memory by memory.

Speaker 1 (59:18):
Let's do it no breaks no mercy.

Speaker 4 (59:20):
No mercy, it's going to feel like getting teabagged
by philosophy majors.

Speaker 1 (59:22):
Oh no, Nia.

Speaker 4 (59:31):
Okay, the fog's most overrated freedom fighter.
Okay, fighting the system meanstagging a fucking recycling bin
behind Walgreens.
She starts this saga cruisingthrough fall city Like it's her
personal Tony Hawk DLC.

Speaker 1 (59:41):
Okay, so she's a skater.
We know that, we kind of assumethat, but I don't know what
fall city is and we're going tohave to get through.
I wanted to learn some of thelore because the one other, dead
by Daylight podcast they do alot of lore stuff, I don't.
So we're trying to figure thisshit out as we go, and that's

(01:00:02):
the lore of Dead by Daylight, ifyou ever need to hear it.
Okay, now, keep going.
So she's in this place calledFalls City.
She's skating tony hogg dlc.
I don't know who she is or whatthe fuck we care about this
swedish person for all right ohshoot, no, she's looking for her

(01:00:23):
girl casey who is?

Speaker 4 (01:00:24):
surprised is doing something useful in the narrows?
Handing out clean water topoison family?
What the fuck is is this.

Speaker 1 (01:00:30):
I don't know.
We're starting the storyhalfway fucking through what?
Who is this?
Neil Carlson?
What, what?
Who is Casey?
I don't know what the fuck isgoing on.
Okay, okay, who is Casey?
And what the fuck is this?
I need to know.

(01:00:50):
Okay, let's just keep going.
It probably does not fuckingmatter who Casey is.
Casey may be a future survivoror something, I don't know.
Okay, anyway.

Speaker 4 (01:01:01):
Ania.

Speaker 1 (01:01:01):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (01:01:03):
This bitch has the nerve to go life.
Drop the narrows.
Probably some save the beesshit.

Speaker 1 (01:01:09):
I don't know what this is.

Speaker 4 (01:01:10):
Excuse me, what People's teeth are falling out?
Babies are being born withextra kneecaps.
And you're out here acting likeCasey joined a fucking MLM who
is.

Speaker 1 (01:01:19):
Casey, why is there an MLM and why are babies' teeth
falling out?
Jesus Christ, this is the worstepisode of Camping them Softly
Okay.

Speaker 4 (01:01:33):
Your city's drinking mercury Gatorade, what?
And you're worried aboutfinding the perfect wall to draw
mash ticks.
What is In hot pink bubbleletters?
Mash ticks, nia's brain isgraffiti on an empty can of
lacroix.
Why are we still talking aboutlacroix.
Molly catches up with Casey,who's out there doing real
humanitarian shit with a bunchof exhausted middle-aged moms.

Speaker 1 (01:01:53):
Okay, what a humanitarian shit.
She's giving out water.
What is lacrosse?
Why are we talking aboutlacrosse?
She skates to a city to findCasey.
We don't know who Casey is.
We have no clue what.
I have no clue what the fuck ishappening.

Speaker 4 (01:02:09):
Okay, Handing out water.

Speaker 1 (01:02:12):
Apparently Calming down sick families.
I don't know why they're sick.

Speaker 4 (01:02:14):
Answering questions like is it safe to shower?

Speaker 1 (01:02:17):
I don't, is it?

Speaker 4 (01:02:18):
Is the water killing our kids Apparently if their
teeth are falling out?
And Nia, unbothered as ever?

Speaker 1 (01:02:24):
Uh-huh.

Speaker 4 (01:02:25):
Hits Casey with let's go to the park.
I don't.
There's a kid over herecoughing up chromium and you
want to grind a bench likeyou're in a Red Bull commercial?
What the fuck?
Mia sees the devastation andher response is, and I quote
what's a few bottles of watergoing to do?
What are they using the waterfor?
Yeah, what the fuck?
You ever seen someone fail aside quest morally before they

(01:02:47):
even pick it up?
Apparently so far removed fromreality, she might as well be
looping her empathy behind ajungle gym what the fuck.
But then it starts to eat ather.
Just a little.
It's eating at me.
She hears about Minamatadisease.

Speaker 1 (01:02:58):
Minamata disease Is Minamata.
Is that what the kids have?
Is that why their teeth arefalling out?
I am so fucking confused.
Jesus, okay, keep yeah.

Speaker 4 (01:03:11):
But then it starts to eat at her yeah, just a little.
But then it starts to eat ather yeah, just a little.
Right, she hears about Minamatadisease.
What the fuck.

Speaker 1 (01:03:15):
What is it Google Z reads?

Speaker 4 (01:03:16):
about the whole Mercury Horror.

Speaker 1 (01:03:18):
Show Okay.

Speaker 4 (01:03:19):
Convulsions, paralysis, babies born all
fucked up and she starts to feelsomething.
Not enough to do anything yet,but she's rattled Okay.

Speaker 1 (01:03:29):
So there's a disease, apparently, in this fall city
place.
It might be caused by the water.
I'm starting to, I'm trying to,we're trying to get detective-y
here, and so it sounds likethere's a water issue of some
kind.
It's causing baby's tees tofall out, it's causing toilets

(01:03:51):
to clog, I don't fucking know.
And so they're.
Casey's doing something, Idon't know.
Was she giving out water withsoccer moms and Nia says let's
go to the park?

Speaker 4 (01:04:03):
I don't fucking know Not enough to do anything yet.
Uh-huh, she's rattled.
Uh-huh.
She lies in bed staring at aglass of water like it's going
to attack her.

Speaker 1 (01:04:11):
Back to the water.

Speaker 4 (01:04:17):
And, for once, her little rebel heart skips a beat
does it.
So she tells casey oh god, yocome see this abandoned factory
I just tagged okay, so she'sokay.

Speaker 1 (01:04:23):
There's an abandoned factory she has graffitied.
Okay, like, do we care?
Do we care that she hasgraffitied a factory?
I don't know if I care I can'tfigure out if I'm supposed to
care about this.
What am I caring about?
What is life?
I want to know what love is.

(01:04:43):
Oh, by the way, I have a storyabout the fucking Jan and Dean
that we need to talk about later.
And okay, let's keep.
We're going to power throughthis.
Guys, we will make it throughthis deep dive.
Why are we not doing killerdeep dives?
We should be doing killer deepdives, but for some reason we're
doing survivor deep dives.

(01:05:04):
Bad idea, okay.
So she says come to thisfactory.
I just tagged.

Speaker 4 (01:05:09):
And Casey, a goddamn queen, shuts that shit down
immediately.
Thank God, big deal.
You wrote your name on a wall.
You want to impress me?

Speaker 1 (01:05:15):
Piss off a tyrant.
Is Casey male or female?
If we're female, is she?
I don't know if she is.
You see where I'm going withthis.
I don't know if she's trying toimpress Casey in a romantic way
or if this is something that'sgoing to like.
Piss off all the people whohate Arella Rose for being trans
.
But I don't think Nia is gay,because David was the one that

(01:05:38):
everybody got pissed about beinggay, although I think gay women
are treated differently by MAGAthan gay men, and that's fucked
up, but I think it's true.
So, anyway, piss off a tyrant.
You, you want to write your,write your name on a wall.
That's nothing.
Piss off a tyrant.

Speaker 4 (01:05:56):
That's how you get casey's heart fucking bars okay
nia looks like someone just toldher billy eilish was a psyop.
She shook.
You could hear the gears in herhead creaking like a rusty jane
.
Okay, um, my art can meansomething Okay.

Speaker 1 (01:06:16):
So Nia's just realizing that if she does
graffiti, that the graffitimight actually have some kind of
social or political meaning.
What the I need more sounds?
I've already run out of likeusage for.

Speaker 4 (01:06:33):
No shit, michelangelo .
So she heads down to the riverriver okay, stares at the
graveyard of industry.
What?
Is abandoned factory uh-huhpoisoned water the water's
poisoned from the factories andyou can feel the realization
start to bloom oh, they came boy, they profited, they take, they
left okay, so that's what it is.

Speaker 1 (01:06:53):
The abandoned factory used to be something.
They polluted the river.
The baby's teeth start fallingout.
Casey's given out water becauseapparently the water in the
river is like Flint Michiganwater.
That's probably not the bestsound effect for that, but
that's where we are.
So that's what Casey's doing.
Nia has no fucking clue what'sgoing on, because she's so

(01:07:15):
stupid and she's just nowrealizing hey, this corporation
might be bad.
Maybe Baby C shouldn't befalling out.

Speaker 4 (01:07:28):
She sounds like a divorced goth poet and it's kind
of pathetic.

Speaker 1 (01:07:33):
But also finally, finally, she's getting it.
Okay, she's getting it Okay.

Speaker 4 (01:07:35):
It's a special kind of evil to poison children.
She says and yeah, getting it,okay, okay.

Speaker 1 (01:07:44):
Z-Dare.
I think it's Z-Dare Zyder,z-dare Mill.
Maybe they're the ones doing it.

Speaker 4 (01:07:53):
I don't fucking know.
Oh no, you know, capitalism,the expansion pack.

Speaker 1 (01:07:59):
Okay.
So basically they're doing whatall companies near rivers do to
rivers.
So this is basically America,or every other country really,
because we're not even the onesthat pollute the most.
But that's beside the point.
What am I even talking about?
I don't even fucking know, butNia is just now realizing this.

(01:08:20):
I don't know if she's highschool educated, I don't know if
she's middle school educated,because even a child, even a
six-year-old, can say thatfucking brown liquid coming from
that factory is not good todrink, because baby's teeth will
start falling out if you drinkthat brown garbage she tags the
fuck out of it okay spray paintsover the security cams like

(01:08:43):
she's in watchdogs.
Indie girl edition okay, soshe's now a character in
watchdogs, which could very wellbe true.

Speaker 4 (01:08:50):
She finds a white garage door and drops a big ass
signature.
Like she's signing her name ona goddamn war crime.
Why, and it's like okay,finally.
Like she's signing her name ona goddamn war crime.
And it's like okay, finally,this girl's cooking with
something other than expiredangst.

Speaker 1 (01:09:00):
I still think she's cooking with expired angst,
because I don't know how thisgraffiti is going to do anything
.

Speaker 4 (01:09:07):
She finds a white garage door.

Speaker 1 (01:09:08):
Oh shit, sorry, Sorry , sorry, sorry Sorry.

Speaker 4 (01:09:12):
And it's like, okay, finally this girl's coming with
something else.

Speaker 1 (01:09:14):
Oh no, sorry, sorry, that's me, that was me, don't
let her off the hook.

Speaker 4 (01:09:17):
She finds out and she's like okay, casey's a woman
.
But what the fuck doesmatchsticks even mean?

Speaker 1 (01:09:22):
I have no fucking clue.

Speaker 4 (01:09:24):
And Nia stares into space like someone asked her to
spell accountability.
She's never thought aboutmaking her tag a message.

Speaker 1 (01:09:31):
Are you fucking serious?
Then she asked Nia what thething is that she's tagging and
she doesn't even fucking knowLike what is.
I'm putting random letters onthe fucking side of the building
, but I have no clue why.
Because I don't know what anyof this shit means, because,
guess what?
I can't fucking read.

Speaker 4 (01:09:51):
It was just a brand.
Girl's been speed runningnihilism.
With a stencil, it doesn't evenmake sense.
Casey starts dropping truthbombs.
It was just a brand Girl's beenspeed running nihilism with a
stencil.

Speaker 1 (01:09:57):
It doesn't even make sense Casey starts dropping
truth bombs Please, Casey.

Speaker 4 (01:10:00):
That's show.
Uh-huh Heart is rebellion it is.
Kings still exist.

Speaker 1 (01:10:03):
Yeah, they do.

Speaker 4 (01:10:04):
CEOs are the new tyrants.

Speaker 1 (01:10:05):
That's fucking right.

Speaker 4 (01:10:07):
Yes.

Speaker 1 (01:10:09):
That sounds like we're like some schoolgirls like
Elvis-ing getting excited likethe Beatles taking Like some
schoolgirls like Elvis-inggetting excited like the Beatles
taking their bras off andthrowing them at the people that
say kings, ceos or tyrants.
It makes absolutely no sense.

Speaker 4 (01:10:23):
And they've been scaring artists into silence for
centuries.
No fucking shit.
She looks like she justrealized she's been drawing
hearts around her oppressors.

Speaker 1 (01:10:31):
Okay.

Speaker 4 (01:10:32):
So what does Casey do ?
Kills Nia, takes Nia to a dyingkid's house.

Speaker 1 (01:10:37):
Why is she taking him ?
Okay, let's go to this dyingkid's house.
He's got four teeth left, butI'm trying to give a message.
This is awful, okay.

Speaker 4 (01:10:45):
Oh, wow, okay, yeah, tag him Like spray paint.
This kid's mouth Mercurypoisoning Can't even eat without
help.
What is you want to tagsomething?
Uh-huh Tag for him, for him,not for yourself.
For him Don't be a rebelwithout a cause.

Speaker 1 (01:11:06):
Rebel without a cause .
Okay.

Speaker 4 (01:11:08):
Nia's emotional spine finally forms like a calcium
deposit.
Oh Jesus, she finally sees whatthis is all about.
What is it about?

Speaker 1 (01:11:18):
No more tagging for clout no more it's just art
bullshit.

Speaker 4 (01:11:19):
Uh-huh, now it's war.
Against what she lies in bedagain staring at her glass of
water.

Speaker 1 (01:11:23):
I don't like this story, but this time it's
different.
Okay, she's not scared, why not?

Speaker 4 (01:11:28):
She's furious, oh, she starts thinking about her
old teachers, the ones who toldher don't be political.

Speaker 1 (01:11:33):
Well, they were idiots, she realizes everything
is political.
She's learning what everybodylearns in like freshman level
philosophy class, and she's toodumb.
I can't with Nia Carlson.
This makes me never want toplay as Nia Carlson ever again,
because she is so stupid.

Speaker 4 (01:11:55):
She wasn't making art , she was making decoration.
Okay, now she wants to turn themayor's luxury sedan into a
goddamn mural of resistance.

Speaker 1 (01:12:05):
Is this the stupidest story?
Is it just me?
Or is this the dumbest fuckingstory I've ever heard in my life
?
That she they're polluting thefucking river, killing children,
and she's going to take a RollsRoyce and and put some spray
paint on it and that's going todo something.
This, this makes absolutely nosense.

Speaker 4 (01:12:29):
You're yes, it's a human right.

Speaker 1 (01:12:31):
Of course it's a weapon.
No, it's not.
And then, and what kind of itis she?

Speaker 4 (01:12:35):
just stopped being a character and started being a
fucking problem she no finalthoughts.
She is a problem, he startsthis story as a fucking hot
topic.
Mannequin yes, right is it as adiy molotov cocktail with
wheels no, she doesn't, becausethis is not molotov cocktails.

Speaker 1 (01:12:50):
She's putting random letters on cars.

Speaker 4 (01:12:55):
Still a flashlight clicking red in most trials, but
hey, at least now her graffitimeans something.

Speaker 1 (01:13:01):
It doesn't mean anything because she's stuck.

Speaker 4 (01:13:02):
I want me to tear into her perks next.
And why?
Urban evasion is just I can'tloop, so I'll sneak.
It is actually or you want meto cook her mains first?
I got sauce ready for both.

Speaker 1 (01:13:12):
Uh, no, let's not.
Nikki, thank you, I'm tired ofthis.
I can't with that Nikki.
Thank you, nikki.
That that was a lot of Nikkifor one day.
That was a lot of bullshit,nikki.
I can handle.
I can take a lot of Nikki in apodcast, but I can't take a lot
of bullshit dead by daylight.

(01:13:32):
Normally we don't talk about byDaylight this much, but we're
talking about a fucking lot ofDead by Daylight.
So now here's what we got to do.
We've got one more fuckingsegment and it's my favorite
segment of the day that we'vegot to go over.
And I know, you know what thissegment is, you know what the

(01:13:52):
segment is and you know I dothis so I can actually get to
the sound of the segment.
That's why I do this so slowly,so I can do this quickly Now.
See, I was ready.
I sounded ready that timebecause I'm always ready for

(01:14:12):
this fucking segment.
There it is, grab your hats.
I don't know.
Dublin, have they been on?
Lately I haven't been followingDublin.
Yeah, georgia, yep, yep, yep.

(01:14:34):
Where the fuck?
Georgia, yep, yep, yep.
Okay, we're going to have toturn you down.
Talks, father, thank you forcoming by.
And, uh, I want to thank a fewof the cities.
I want to thank a few of youand I'm going to get like a
little air horn for you guys.

(01:14:54):
I shout you out because I'malways excited to hear from you
guys Shut the fuck up, dude.
How do I turn you off here?
What if I do that?
Does that stop there?
It does, yes, okay, we'vestopped.
All right.
So we've got a few new andreturning listeners and I want
to go down the list, but thenwe're going to get to the main

(01:15:16):
show here, so let me go.
Where did that fucking go?
I just fucking had it, dude.
God damn it.
Okay.
So the ones that I'm seeingthat I have not thanked recently
, because the list is so fuckinglong that I don't remember who
I've already thanked, who is new, who is not I just let's just

(01:15:39):
go through some of them.
Ifrata, pennsylvania.
Thank you for coming by.
Why is it not playing?
I accidentally put the songback on.
How do I turn it off?
Okay, there we go.
Okay, there we go.
I think we're fine now.
I think we're fine now.
Ephrata, pennsylvania.
Thank you for coming by.

(01:16:00):
Muthan, I already thanked you.
I remember you.
Mississauga, ontario.
I think I already thanked you.
Noonan, georgia.
I don't, noonan, georgia,penhice, parana, parana, parana,
penhice.
I don't even fucking know whatyou're doing right now.

(01:16:23):
Anyway, providence, rhodeIsland.
Yeah, we already got you,kazani.
We visited you before Aachen.
We visited you way back whenStoke-on-Trent.
You are new here.
Thank you for coming byStoke-on-Trent, and let's see
who else we've got.
We've got Brussels from thecapital of what is it?

(01:16:44):
Brussels, belgium, brussels,belgium, right.
Why am I?
I'm a geography teacher.
I don't even fucking know.
I know right.
Yes, brussels Belgium, right,belgium.
It's Brussels, belgium, adensely populated region in
Belgium.
Yes, that's correct, I got itright.
Yes, that was the wrong fuckingsound.

(01:17:05):
Okay, so, anyway, but there isone city that we need to single
out for the next when the fuckare the viewers from?
Are you guys ready for this?
I don't have.
I wish I had like a.
No, that's not it.
I thought I had one, didn't Ihave a drum roll.
At some point I had a drum roll.

(01:17:25):
I don't know what happened tothe fuck.
Is this it?
How do you like me now?
That's not it, but that's cool,but that's not it.
Where, where is the fucking?
I don't know where it is.
I can't find it.
I keep trying to makeeverything better and I end up
making it worse, and that's thestory of my fucking life right

(01:17:46):
now.
So let's go to our city randomly.
We're gonna talk about noneother than fenimore fenimore
does anyone?
Does anyone know Fenimore?
I say Fenimore and everybody'slike what the fuck is that?
We're going to talk aboutFenimore, wisconsin.
And then let me get youFenimore Wisconsin.

(01:18:13):
Thank you for stopping by, butyou know we've got somebody
who's going to tell us aboutFenimore Wisconsin.
Thank you for stopping by, butyou know we've got somebody
who's going to tell us aboutFenimore Wisconsin.
Okay, so anyway, let me get.
Hey, nikki, this week we'rethanking our visitor or our
listeners from FenimoreWisconsin, wisconsin, on where

(01:18:42):
the fuck are the viewers fromsegment.
I heard you've been there andyou have a pretty wild ass story
about it.
Can you tell us about Fenimoreand what happened to you there?

(01:19:07):
Question mark there we go, andlet's go, and I'm going to pull
up Fenimore's website as we, asI wait for him.
Fenimore Wisconsin.
Here we go, guys.
You're going to learn aboutFenimore Wisconsin.
The population's 2,700 people.
This might be the smallest citysince fucking Parsons Tennessee
.
It actually might be smallerthan Parsons, parsons Tennessee.

(01:19:31):
Hang on, parsons Tennessee.
Remember that's the home oflittle Josh's catfish house?
Oh, actually, little Parsons,tennessee has two thousand three
hundred people in Fenimore,fucking, wisconsin has and where
did I put it?
I just Googled it.
It's like they got two thousandseven hundred people.
So in a war between Fenimore,wisconsin, and Parsons,

(01:19:52):
tennessee, in one hundred peopleand a hundred men and one
gorilla, I think Fenimore wouldprobably win in a war between
the two cities, although we cancheck demographically who has
more adults and married couples,because we know married couples
.
There's two things aboutmarried couples Either they will
fight harder because they loveeach other or there could be

(01:20:15):
several cases of friendly fire,depending on how you feel about
that.
And then also, let's see herewe've got some NFL players from
Fenimore, wisconsin.
We have Luke Swan, who is now acoach.
We have Eugene Rowell who is anNFL player.
We have some legislators.
I guess from there have somelegislators, I guess from there.

(01:20:41):
The average household income is$34,000 and the town is 99
fucking percent white and I haveno clue what sound to use there
, because if I use the hell yeahsound, that's going to sound
awful.
If I like there's no sound thatI can use, that is like
appropriate.
Actually, now that I'm looking,the town is 99% white.

(01:21:01):
Is that okay?
99% white, 99% white.
You gotta give him that hucktoo.
No, 99%, I can't do that.
Stone cold hell, yeah, wellokay, Anyway for better or worse
.
Okay, fenimore Wisconsin.

(01:21:30):
Now let me.
Okay, I'm tired and we'retalking about Fenimore Wisconsin
and I don't even know what tosay about it because we didn't.
I didn't even look at the.
I didn't even look at thewebsite.
I want to start looking up thewebsite.
Fenimore, wisconsin website.
Oh my God, there's a dude in afucking.
He's got the biggest fuckingmega ass mustache and some
fucking dumb what are thosecalled?

(01:21:51):
Whenever you go into a lake togo fishing, you got the khaki
colored fucking ass outfit.
You can pay your bills onlinehere and there are some after
hours emergency numbers.
And also Fenimore is the meccafor fly fishing.
What, what?
I can't even hear this fuckingvideo.

(01:22:18):
Why do they not make theirvideos appropriately sound, like
sounded?
Why did they not make them theappropriate volume?
Hang on.
This is a video from Fenimore,wisconsin's website about the
being the Mecca, the religiouscapital of fly fishing.
Why can't I not hear thisbullshit?

(01:22:40):
Now, I can't even fucking hearit.
Okay, hang on.
But audio issues here,everybody.
Um, what, but why?
But why?
Is my fucking question.
Why won't this shit fuckingplay?
I can't hear it.
I can hear everything else onevery other fucking website
except for this fucking Fenimoreass, wisconsin ass website.

(01:23:03):
Why do you make your fuckingbanjo so loud?
I can't hear.

Speaker 3 (01:23:12):
The accessibility of the water, the potential to
catch trophy trout, publiceasements along most streams and
the scenic beauty of the area.

Speaker 1 (01:23:21):
I can't hear anything and this fucking hillbilly is
fucking trying to fly fish inthis fucking river.
Penemore is an area of timelessbeauty.
I can't.
It's an area of timeless beauty, apparently, and if you need to
go online, you can find theRotter inventory survey results

(01:23:43):
in a PDF form, and they alsoneed you to take the water
material inventory survey, whichI am currently filling out.
What is my name?
My name is Nikki AI Dente.
What type of building do I livein?
I live in a multi.
No, I live in a non-residential.
I live in a school or childcarecenter.
All right, your current propertyside service line may look like

(01:24:04):
this.
They're asking about the waterfucking pipes and I am filling
this shit out.
It's a two inch pipe.
Now let's check our serviceline.
What is your property sideservice line?
Material Confirmed means you're100%.
They're asking what the pipesare made of.
I'm going to confirm thatthey're lead fucking pipes.

(01:24:25):
What was the install date?
If you don't know your exactdate, give us here.
It was installed in 2024.
My lead pipes were installed in2024.
And that's why the children'steeth are fucking falling out.
What's the point of entrytreatment?
I don't know.
I'm clicking yes.
What is the plumbing material?

(01:24:46):
It is copper with lead solderIn building.
I'm submitting.
Oh shit, it has my email.
It has my actual, real email onhere switch account and I'm
going to uh, switching to this.
And then we're going here,nikki dente, nikki a I dente,

(01:25:07):
okay, and we're non-residential.
We've got lead.
I have to redo this.
Two inch fucking lead pipes,fucking oozing lead, that were
installed last year I can'tremember if I said last year or
this year, but it has leadsolder here and then the
plumbing install date was 2024.
And then I'm going to submitand then we're going to see if

(01:25:28):
they respond.
I don't know.
I just said we've got lead inour fucking pipes in 2024, which
may or may not be a good idea,and I just advertised it online
that I'm fucking defraudingFenimore Wisconsin.
So there's well, okay,apparently we enjoy the fact
that we are defrauding FenimoreWisconsin by telling them we

(01:25:49):
have lead in our pipes in 20.
And I'm repeating the samething over again just so they
can use it against me in theupcoming trial.
Okay, fenimore, nikki Fenimore,tell me about it.

Speaker 4 (01:26:03):
Yes, all right, let me tell yousomething about that cursed
little patch of cheddar-stainedfarmland they call a town.
I went there once, once.

Speaker 1 (01:26:13):
Okay.

Speaker 4 (01:26:14):
It was supposed to be a routine job oh my god uncle
naki tells me there's a familyartifact stashed in a forgotten
meat locker behind a bait shopin fenimore okay, a relic from
the provolone purge of 87 801887 or 1987, a provolone purge
of 87.

Speaker 1 (01:26:32):
I don't know if that's 1987, 1887 or 1787, which
would be very different.
Okay, it was a gold plate ofravioli passed down from don
zamboni himself who is don?

Speaker 4 (01:26:44):
naturally don fucking zamboni speedrun spaghetti, the
basement bolognese.

Speaker 1 (01:26:48):
And marco the mouse who, surprise, surprise, forgets
to pack the goddamn map okay,these, these are the three,
right, We've talked about them alittle bit Basement Bolognese,
Marco the Mouse and Speed RunSpaghetti.

Speaker 4 (01:27:02):
We arrive on a cover of Night.
Okay, I'm dressed like atraveling fondue consultant to
blend in with the locals.
What the fuck?
Wisconsin Camouflage what he?

Speaker 1 (01:27:13):
says a fondue consultant is Wisconsin.
Camouflage.

Speaker 4 (01:27:23):
Fuck, fuck, fuck, nicky, nicky, Uh-huh.

Speaker 1 (01:27:32):
Parmesan's a form of cultural terrorism.
He has two thumbs on one hand.
Hey, I can stop it.
Remember, there we go.
Ah shit, Okay, All right, nextNikki.

Speaker 4 (01:27:51):
That's when I knew this was Earl Grey.

Speaker 1 (01:27:57):
Oh God.

Speaker 4 (01:27:57):
Territory.
No, turns out, the tea tyranthimself had beaten us there.

Speaker 3 (01:28:03):
To fucking.
Venmore, Wisconsin.
Left behind one of hissignature calling cards.

Speaker 4 (01:28:06):
A scone stabbed into a fish head, floating in a
teacup full of lukewarm EarlGrey.
What?
Oh shit what the fuck was thatNikki Quit it.
I had to turn that.
That.

Speaker 1 (01:28:22):
That about that shut the fuck up.
That about blew my fuckingeardrums out.
That was insanity.
What happened?
Just that was loud and it hurt.

Speaker 4 (01:28:36):
Okay, Nikki Voice show halfway through the meat
locker.
When speed run triggers asilent alarm by trying to blight
, dash through a freezer door.
Next thing you know we'resurrounded by Earl's goons.

Speaker 1 (01:28:43):
Okay.

Speaker 4 (01:28:44):
Proper Patricia.

Speaker 1 (01:28:45):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (01:28:46):
And that smug bastard English breakfast Eddie.

Speaker 1 (01:28:50):
I've never heard of this guy.
To insult my meatball to armratio in front of my own crew
His meatball to arm ratio, infront of my own crew, his
meatball to arm ratio.
What the fuck is that?

Speaker 4 (01:29:01):
I well snowball fight breaks out a snowball fight
actual snowball.
Why wisconsin combat protocol?
Okay except these weren'tordinary snowballs.
These were laced with cambridgecrumpet crumbs.
Okay, passive-aggressiveremarks Very effective against
Mediterranean blood.
Long story short, we escaped byhijacking a cheese curd

(01:29:23):
delivery truck, drive it into aditch and hide inside a wheel of
Gouda for six hours.
I didn't even get the raviolistamp.
You know who ended up with itSome survivor Maine from
Platteville.

Speaker 1 (01:29:31):
Where is Platteville?
Okay, nikki, thank you,platteville.
Where is Platteville?
Okay, nikki, thank you.
That's it, for when the FuckAre the Viewers From?
I got nothing fucking else.
That's it.
I'm playing two songs at once.
I don't know what I'm doinghere anymore.

(01:29:52):
We're at an hour andtwenty-nine minutes.
We're an hour and a half rightnow.
Can you believe it?
This has been the worst episodeever.
I came back.
Why did I even fucking comeback?
I don't know.
I don't know why I come herefor you guys.
I think it's because you guyskeep me company.
This is my.
You know.
This really means something tome.

(01:30:13):
Funnily enough, it does meansomething and I just want to
thank you guys for coming by.
I want to thank you forsupporting the podcast.
I want to thank you foradvocating for the discord, the
Twitch, everything.
It means so much that you guyscome by and this is it's hard to
describe and I could try, butI'd probably end up getting
fucking emotional and somesurvivor main would record it
and put it out somewhere.
So I'm not going to do hard todescribe and I could try, but

(01:30:34):
I'd probably end up gettingfucking emotional and some
survivor main would record itand put it out somewhere.
So I'm not going to do that,but I do want to thank you guys
and then we'll get to episode 53next week.
I don't even know what it'sgoing to fucking be about.
Um, actually, I do know what itwill probably be about is
because they're going to havethe fucking thing right the PAX

(01:30:56):
East and so Five Nights atFreddy's will probably be the
thing that we talk about nextweek.
I don't know, but we'll be backthen and I just want to thank
you guys and let me see if I canget something special for you
on the way out.
I don't know what it's going tobe, but I'm going to try.
I'm going to try here.
What?

(01:31:16):
Okay, the song was stillplaying.
It was throwing me off, so I'mgoing to get let's see, we're
going to have chat GPT write asong you know what I'm not going
to, because I enjoyed wheneverI have it look at the transcript
and make up a song about thetranscript.
I feel like this one's going tobe fucking insane.
This song is going to be aliving fucking nightmare.

(01:31:39):
I guarantee you, and you'regoing to hear it right about
fucking.
Now, satan, see us out, get thefuck out of my face.
We'll be back next week.

Speaker 2 (01:32:05):
Trailer 10 poops can't dismiss Blood moons.
Done XP's, back to X1 pace.
Chaos shuffles here.
Survivors grin, killers losethe race.
They rename the archives To theriff folks.
What a twist.
Daily quests and fragments Signyour soul up.

(01:32:28):
You insist.
Premium paywall glimmers Likefive bucks in your card.
Nikki's piping up Italiansaboteurs Straight from the
heart, camping them softly.
We're rocking the stream.
Far-powered silence.
It's the toxic teacher dreamBuying mystery shirts.
Medium's my new fight.
Gotta lose that marinara weight.

(01:32:50):
By midnight Tonight Awake bymidnight tonight.
Pax East whispers Freddy'scoming to play Leakers on X.

(01:33:16):
I don't care.
Rumors rule the day.
Skull merchants comic, a puzzlein four frames.
Hold D I pops.
We all go insane.
Nickels flex and noodle arms.
Respect the pasta, fear thenoodle.
Earl Grey logos crossed out,cha-ching and BH Haas doodle
From ghost face mind games to aboot crushing grave.

(01:33:38):
We're survivors, killers andfans of culinary rape, camping
them softly.
Our podcast tragic bliss, wherefarts stop, cheers and chaos
grants a twisted kiss.
Four shirts in the mail.
If they're Dwight, I'll repaint.
Frame them as relics.
My weight loss incentive ain'tquaint Toxic teacher out Next

(01:34:05):
episode, who knows?
But first stop these sounds orjust let them roll on.
I suppose We'll see you nexttime.

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Ep. 52 - FNaF DbD Incoming! Nea Karlsson! And a (Potential) Giveaway!

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Ep. 52 - FNaF DbD Incoming! Nea Karlsson! And a (Potential) Giveaway!