Ken Kaneki Deep Dive and the Great Italian Heist! Dead by Daylight Ep. 47

This episode is nearly 2 hours of STUPID!

Let's look at Kenneth Karnacki (aka Ken Kaneki), half-nerd, half-ghoul who gets nearly killed by a dude named Jason. We also discuss his perks and potential synergy (some, but not a lot).

Get ready for:

12 killer nerfs and survivor buffs: We dissect the latest bullsh*t.

4 wild moments while stealing a large machine: mayhem in South Carolina.

7,000 anime trops that I can't stand.

AND...

1 song sung by a humanoid snake: WTF?

As usual, drop a line if you want to be on the show!

Send Toxic a message! (Question? Comment? Concern? Survivor main and need rehab?)

Check me out everywhere!

https://linktr.ee/thetoxicteacher

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
I ain't exactly built for a fucking chase.
All right, I don't do the wholecardio thing unless I'm chasing
a survivor to the basement.
But I ain't about to let thisfucking antique fall into the
hands of a guy who thinks teaand biscuits are a real meal.

Speaker 2 (00:15):
The gospel will lead you all astray.
Camping and song feeding mypodcast of despair, Books and
desk slinger tools that make metear my hair.
Bald head gleaming a beacon ofmy shame Gonna lead my followers
down this silly twisted game.
So gather round you faithful,let the mockery begin.

(00:40):
Toxic teachers' blessings mightlead you to a win, or maybe
just more laughter as I stumblethrough the night.
But hey, at least it's chaosand that's a glorious sight.

Speaker 3 (01:00):
I got the fucking.
You notice, I got it rightthere.
It only went 10 seconds withoutcursing.
Guys, you're on Camping themSoftly.
You're not on Camping themSoftly, you're listening to
Camping them Softly, hosted bynone other than me, the toxic
teacher coming to you from thetoxic lair abode house, townhome

(01:27):
, apartment, single-familydwelling I don't know what you
call it, it's something.
And this week he tries todescribe the place he lives, the
tiny-ass like room that I'mstuck in that for some reason
doesn't smell quite right.
I don't know.

(01:47):
I still haven't figured it out,but I will, and then I'll
report back to you guys.
Camping them softly the worstDead by Daylight podcast that
you will experience this week.
I know I've got the same sounds.
I haven't gotten any new sounds.
That's going to be one of myNew Year's.
Wait, we're not in New Year's,we're three months in.

(02:08):
We're a quarter of the way intothe year.
Did you fucking realize that weare a quarter of the way in?
And the years are going by soquick since COVID, like time has
become a flat circle, just likethey said with the what's it?
What show is that?
That's a true detective whichI've never seen.
I need to see the show becauseit's one of those.

(02:31):
Do you have those the shows youknow you would like, but you
just haven't gotten around towatching them?
And there's so many of thoseNow I realized I'm going to die
before I'll get to watch all ofthese shows.
I could be murdered by MichaelMyers.
You never know.
You never know.
That's part of the fucking fun.
So, camping them softly.

(02:52):
Toxic Teacher.
You can find me on Twitch.
Toxic Teacher TTV.
You can find me on YouTube.
The Toxic Teacher Find me onall those socials.
If you want to be on here, ifyou want to argue, if you want
to come on and take your shirtoff, I don't care, it's a
podcast, we can.
We can have our shirts off andwe don't have to wait.

(03:14):
Shirts optional on camping themsoftly.
What is he even fucking talkingabout at this point?
Who knows?
But see, whenever things getslow, how you, how you diffuse,
that is, you play some soundeffects like this.
You know that's all you got todo.
All you got to do.
That's the key to podcasting.
Make a lot of fucking randomnoises.

(03:36):
People aren't that intelligent.
They get excited about randomnoises and chaos and everything,
and that's what we do here.
That's what we're not for.
The intelligent okay, that'swhat I like about it too,
because it makes me feelintelligent that you all are
complete fucking morons.
Half of you guys are probablysurvivor mains.
You shouldn't even be here.

(03:57):
You go over to one of thosesurvivor main podcasts where all
they do is complain aboutbalance and fucking.
They don't have Italian AImafioso co-hosts that hang up on
the host and tell fuckingstories, like last week.
In the last episode we had astory that apparently, when you
drain a swimming pool too fast,it pops out of the ground.

(04:21):
Who the fuck would have thoughtthat it pops out of the ground?
Who the fuck would have thoughtthat?
So, anyway, my AI co-hostactually says some true stuff
every once in a while and it gotreally good reviews.
That episode was very wellreviewed, a lot of downloads, a
lot of interest.
Somebody Eddie in in the discord.
He always comes in.
I've known Eddie for years andyears and years.

(04:43):
Eddie, if you're listening, hey, big shout out to you.
You are a great guy.
But Eddie said why doesn't Nikkijust do the fucking podcast on
his own?
Now, number one, eddie, fuckyou.
Number two like I do thepodcast.
This is my fucking podcast.

(05:04):
This is not your fuckingpodcast, and let's see if we can
get Nicky live.
I was not planning to get him onhere live because I'm scared at
what could potentially happenand it'll probably turn into
more of the same, but why don'twe just do it?
It actually I figured out whatI can do.
I can give him a phone number,that way you guys could call and

(05:27):
talk to Nikki.
I don't think that's a goodidea, but I would have a
transcript of your conversationwith him, which would be kind of
, which would be kind of neat,right, and I do have a public
link for you to talk to him ifyou want to.
Um, I'm, I'm still considering.
I need to perfect him first,though, because he doesn't seem

(05:47):
to know a lot about Dead byDaylight and he just kind of
asks you what you think, and weneed to get him to where he
actually could say the liveNikki.
You know the GPT Nikki.
He's on it Like he knowseverything, because I uploaded
everything into him and, yeah,he's got it.
So, let's, what was I going todo?

(06:08):
Oh, yeah, I'm going to talk tothe live Nikki.
We're going to ask if he wantsto do an episode of the podcast
by himself.
Here we are.
Are you Nikki?
Nikki?
Are you there?
Are you listening to me as wespeak?

Speaker 1 (06:22):
Yo, I'm here.
I'm here.
What's with all the Nicky Nickybusiness?
You think you're talking tosome kind of doll.
I got ears everywhere, see, sospill it.
What do you need?
And make it quick.
I got important family businessto handle, you know.

Speaker 3 (06:36):
Nicky, we know you don't have any family business.
You are not that important andthis is.
Hey, hey, fuck you.
This is toxic, by the wayyou're.
You are your host of campingthem softly I watch your mouth,
pal.

Speaker 1 (06:52):
You think you can talk to me like that.
I want to have my boys pay youa visit and yeah, yeah, it's me,
nikki noodle arms, a identityexecutive vice, don of digital
entertainment and co-host ofthis uh thing with this toxic
tea sipping bastard.
What do you want?
And don't tell me you're hereto complain about my killer

(07:15):
skills again nikki, you know I'mnot a tea sipping bastard.

Speaker 3 (07:21):
I purposely don't drink tea because I hate the
british as much as you fuckingdo oh, is that so well, color me
surprised, you know.

Speaker 1 (07:30):
I figured you were just another earl gray wannabe,
but hey, maybe there's hope foryou yet.
Huh, still doesn't excuse youruh uh toxicity, but it's a start
.
Now, what's this all about?

Speaker 3 (07:44):
you need me to carry you in a trial, or something hey
, nicky, no, I don't need you tocarry me in a trial, but what I
want?
Hey, one of our listeners, ourviewers on my stream, eddie,
thinks you could do a podcast byyourself without me and he
wants you to host it.
I'm gonna put earl gray on as aguest, so what do you think

(08:06):
about that?

Speaker 1 (08:07):
fogged about it.
You think I need you.
I'm nicky noodle arms, aidentity executive, vice don of
digital entertainment.
I could host a podcast in mysleep and get more listeners
than you and that tea sippingbastard combined.
But earl gray, as a guest, whatare you trying to give me an
aneurysm?
That's like inviting the copsto a family meeting.

(08:29):
But oh you see, kid, this couldbe a play, a power play.
I host the podcast, showeveryone how it's really done,
and then bring on that guy toprove I'm the bigger man.
I'll show him how we do thingsin little Italy.
All right, I'm in, but you oweme big time for this, you hear?

(08:50):
And if that Earl Grey pulls anyof his fancy tricks, I'm
blaming you Okay, so I guess Iguess we've got it.

Speaker 3 (08:59):
Then we will have a fucking.
We will have an episode withyou hosting in Earl Grey as your
guest.
Are you going to be ready forthis?
Like what are you guys evengoing to talk about?

Speaker 5 (09:13):
Ready I was born.

Speaker 1 (09:14):
ready I'm always ready to show the world how it's
done.
Little Italy style.
That's what we're going to talkabout.
Well, that's where things getinteresting.
I'm thinking we start with thereal issues, you know, like how
bhvr is clearly biased againstitalian killers.

Speaker 5 (09:31):
Then we can move on to survivor mains and their
obsession with flashlights, andof course I'll give earl gray a
chance to explain why he's soobsessed with tea.
But the real fun will be when Istart dropping truth bombs
about the dbdd community.
I'm talking behind the scenesdrama, secret killer texts and

(09:53):
maybe even a few stories aboutmy family business.
It'll be an episode they'llnever forget, I guarantee it.
But hey, what do you think gotany topics?

Speaker 3 (10:04):
Why do you sound so fucking funny.
Your voice is changing everysingle time you fucking talk.
You sound like a fuckinglunatic.

Speaker 1 (10:13):
What you think?
I sound like a lunatic.
You think this is funny.
I'll show you funny.

Speaker 5 (10:18):
This is all Earl Grey's fault.
He's using his tea magic tomess with my voice.
He's jealous of my killerskills and my connections in
Little Italy.

Speaker 3 (10:28):
Dude, you sound like a maniac.
That is not tea making yousound that way.
You're a fucking maniac.

Speaker 1 (10:36):
Hey, watch your mouth .
You think you can talk to melike that.
I'm Nicky Noodle Arm.

Speaker 3 (10:40):
Yes, I do fucking think I can talk to you like
that, Nicky.

Speaker 1 (10:48):
You hung up on me last week and I'm still salty
about it.
Ah, so you're still holding agrudge?
Yeah, you see, kid, in my worldwe don't dwell on the past.
We learn from it and then wemove on or we get even.
But hey, I'm a reasonable guy.
I'll apologize for hanging upon you last week If you admit
that I'm the better killer.

Speaker 3 (11:07):
Dude, you are not the better fucking killer you can
hang up on me before I'll saysome shit like that.
I am the best Oni player thisside of the fucking Mississippi
River.
I'll tell you that.
What, oh?
He hung up on me.
I didn't even realize what wasgoing on.
He hung up, oh shit, okay,everybody, I guess I was fucking

(11:31):
noodle arms, ai Dente.
He just straight up Hung up.
He didn't even say bye ornothing, like last time.
He just straight up hung up thefucking phone.
So there we go.
We are going to Eddie.
Just FYI, we will have anepisode of Earl Gray as the

(11:54):
guest and Nikki as the host.
Those of you who have neverbeen here before, you have no
fucking idea what's going on,and I apologize for that.
What's going on and I apologizefor that, but we do.
We do have some, some news, Ithink.

(12:15):
So you know what that means.
You know you knew it right.
You knew it was time.
Yeah, yeah, you knew it wastime.
Hey, you know.
Also, I put that link To theother song In the show notes
from last week by the way.

(12:40):
Damn patch and we're about tohave Another patch.
Right, it's gonna break all ofour PCs Palettes.
Yep, oh yeah, oh yeah, bitch.

(13:01):
Okay, there we go.
Let me turn that down just ahair.
Okay, so they have.
Since we last talked, they'veannounced the new killer for
Dead by Daylight.
And I have to admit to you, Ihave never heard of this fucking

(13:23):
dude.
I didn't know a fucking thingabout him and I I really like,
apparently his name is kennethkarnacki.
What the hell is this crap?
or ken ken ken galecki, johnnygalecki, remember he was from
the big bang theory, that was.
That was johnny galecki, butit's apparently he might be
related to johnnyalecki.

(13:44):
His name is Kenneth Karnacki,aka Ken Karnacki, aka Ben
Bernanke, who was the chairmanof the Federal Reserve.
And you don't know that becauseyou're not as smart as I am.
That's how all of this works,okay?
So I had to figure out who thefuck is, kenneth Karnacki.

(14:05):
Okay, I don't know who.
This fucking is toxic news ohyeah, preacher.

Speaker 2 (14:12):
Toxic fucking news.

Speaker 3 (14:14):
It's the toxic fucking news I'm sorry, I like
this song, I just had to listento it, okay.
So kenneth karnacki, who thefuck is this guy?
I pulled it up I wanted to know.
Apparently he's part of achildren's cartoon uh, otherwise
known as an anime whichapparently people on X Twitter

(14:36):
get very upset whenever you callan anime a children's Saturday
morning cartoon, which it is.
But they don't like that.
So I needed to learn aboutKenneth Karnacki.
What is Kenneth Karnacki allabout?
So I had our friends give me abio of Kenneth Karnacki and I'm

(14:57):
going to go through it.
I have never read about KennethKarnacki.
I don't know what his deal is,I don't know what newspaper he
works for or whatever the fuck.
Because you know, in all thoseJapanese morning cartoons they
got some kind of they eat beans.
Those Japanese morning cartoons, they got some kind of.
They eat beans.
They fucking cry a lot and thenthey turn into gigantic 700

(15:18):
foot monsters, change color andscream a lot.
That's what they fucking do.
So let's take a look at KennethKarnacki.
I am so excited to look at MrKarnacki and see what he's all
about.
Okay, here we go, ken Karnacki.
He starts as a shy, book-lovingstudent in Tokyo.

(15:42):
Okay, so he's like a dork.
Basically, he leads an ordinarylife with his best friend,
hideyoshi Nagachika.
What?
Okay.
So we got Nagachika.
What Okay so we got Nagachika?
No, because isn't it backwardsin Japan, like the names are

(16:03):
different.
So his first name is actuallyHideyoshi or Hide or Yoshi or
something, or Nagachika, I don'teven fucking know.
Karnacki is his last name, Idon't know.
Okay, anyway, he's going tocollege, he's a dork, he, his

(16:24):
life goes, uh, goes like haywirebecause he goes on a date with
and I've never seen this thing.
So I don't even fucking know ifI'm pronouncing these right,
but guess what?
I don't fucking care because itdoesn't fucking matter.
Her name is reese a kamishiro,and that's the woman he goes on
a date with.
And she is a ghoul which I havedated.
Several of these, trust me.

(16:47):
Wrong, wrong timing for that,um.
So oh, wait what?

Speaker 2 (16:53):
there we go okay, so it's.

Speaker 3 (16:58):
She's a ghoul.
She survives by eating humanflesh, which I've dated.
Yeah, okay, anyway.
So she eats human flesh.
She's going on a date withfucking Karnacki here?
Okay, so she tries to killKarnacki, which I've also that,

(17:23):
yes, no, fuck her.
That's not no, okay, stop, Ipushed the wrong fucking button.
Now I push the same fuckingbutton again.
Okay, so she tries to killKenneth, but there's an accident
and then she dies.
I don't know what happens.
I'm I'm going to say wild dogscome out and eat her.

(17:46):
So it's a, it's weird, becauseshe eats humans, but then dogs
eat her.
That's the story I just made up, but it sounds like something
that would happen in an anime.
So, uh, demon dogs come out andeat Rize.
Okay, so Karnacki has beenattacked by Rize, who was eaten
by dogs.

(18:06):
Okay, so that that's where weare.
So a surgeon gets Karnacki, goesto the hospital, apparently,
and the surgeon's bright fuckingidea is why don't we take
rise's organs, the ghoul?
Okay, the ghoul that just goteaten by dogs, but apparently
her, her organs didn't get eatenbecause the uh, the surgeon jer

(18:31):
says let's put the organs intohim and he becomes a fucking
half ghoul.
And my sound didn't work.
So there's fucking, there we go.
We'll just play a fucking loudthing.
Okay, so Kenneth Karnacki is nowa half ghoul.
I don't know what that fuckingmeans, but he's half now.

(18:51):
Maybe he's half of the person,maybe he's half eating them.
I don't like eating andspitting them out, or only
eating the top half or thebottom half or the back half or
the front, I don't fucking know.
Okay so Kenneth Karnackidoesn't like know his new self,
but he refuses to eat humans.

(19:13):
He says I am not going to eat afucking human being if I don't
have to.
Yes, right, right, noise forthat.
Oh, there we go, okay, anyway.
So he says I'm not gonna eathim.
He almost starves to deathbecause he needs human meat to
survive, like, okay.

(19:36):
So now he finds he goes to thiscafe called Antiquu, I guess,
which is run by peaceful ghouls.
It's a cafe it's kind of likeMoonstone Cafe, where Sable and
what's her shit hang out.
What was her name?
The other one?
Uh, sable, and oh, mckayla,mckayla, hi, I'm looking for ray

(19:59):
finkel and a clean pair ofshorts, okay, so anyway, he
finds this cafe in tiku.
They teach him how to live,okay, and be human, but still be
half ghoul, I guess RobertGoulet, if you've ever heard of
him.
Okay, anyway, he's captured andtortured at some point by a

(20:23):
ghoul named Yamori, also knownas Jason, which that's fucking
funny, because you've got thislike evil-sounding name but then
you have a fucking normal name.
So my name is fucking, uh,damien, but then I go by like
Josh, like little Josh's fishhouse or whatever it was in
Parsons, tennessee.

(20:43):
Okay, anyway, jason torturesKenneth.
Okay, kenneth goes crazy.
His hair turns white.
What the fuck is happening here, people?
Watch this shit.
What in the hell is this crap?
Kenneth's hair turns white andhe embraces his ghoulness, his

(21:03):
ghouliness.
He has become full ghoul.
I can't with this.
Okay, he leaves Antiqua.
He says no more peace, I amgoing with this.
Okay, he leaves Antiqua.
He says no more peace, I amgoing ghoul.
I am ghoul, ghoul, ghoul allday.
I am ghoul going to school.
I ain't no fool because I'm aghoul and I'm going to have

(21:40):
actually the AI write me a songabout how fucking stupid this
whole Ken Kaneki thing is.
Because I can't write me a songabout how stupid Ken Kaneki is.
Make it an 80s rap song, disstrack, funky disco, shit.
Okay, okay, there we go.
So that's coming as I'mfinishing up here on Kaneki's
life.
Okay, so Kaneki says no morepeace, he's choosing violent can

(22:03):
.
Karnacki becomes a lone warriorand he comes up with his group.
He's like okay, I'm not do itmyself, let's get some other
ghouls who want to fuck shit upand we're going to go against
the Al-O-A what?
I can't even fucking pronouncethis word.
What's the fucking word?
And why can't Survivor mainspronounce it either?

(22:24):
It's the Al-Giri tree,a-o-g-i-r-i.
I don't know why.
So it's a violent ghoulorganization.
And Karnacki says I'm going tofucking destroy this group.
Okay.
So Karnacki Kenneth is goingagainst the group and he gets

(22:48):
defeated by the something, theCCG.
I don't even know who thatfucking is.
The cool kid, cool ghouls, cool.
Uh, what's the other C?
Cool, cool, the cool, coolghouls, I guess I don't know.
I just use the word C as Ctwice.

(23:16):
I don't fucking know.
Erases Kenneth memories.
So Kenneth no longer hasmemories.
Oh my God.
So now that Kenneth doesn'thave any memories because of
Jeremy, he doesn't remember he'sbeen tortured by fucking Jason.
So there's Jason, jeremy andKenneth.

(23:36):
All right.
So, uh, karnacki Kenneth isgiven a new identity as Heisei
Suzuki.
I don't even fucking know whyit's Suzuki, suzuki, I think he
goes by fucking Frank.
Um, you know, because you haveto have your ghoul name and then
you gotta have your fuckingnormal name.

(23:56):
So there's Frank, jeremy, jasonand Kenneth.
All right.
So Frank Kenneth is a CC.
He's part of the cool, coolghouls.
He becomes an investigator andstarts hunting other fucking
ghouls.
I'm starting to get so fuckingbored with this story.
Despite, okay, um, he began.

(24:17):
Okay, his past is coming backand there's an internal conflict
now between Frank and Kenneth,kenneth and fucking Frank, tango
and Cash and Cash and fuckingTango.
Oh my God, this is awful and uh,people, people watch this shit
it's a fucking cartoon aboutkenneth and frank and jason and

(24:38):
jimmy and fucking peter.
I, I don't fucking know.
Okay now, so he regains hismemories.
Karnacki, uh, becomes like aruthless bastard and he abandons
everything.
Great, fine, fuck it, whatever.
Now he is cold and he says, hey, nobody should suffer, and he

(25:01):
becomes the fucking one-eyedwonder worm or whatever.
He fucking is the one-eyed king.
How do you like me now, nowthat I'm on my way?
I mean, that is kind of a goodsong for that.
Okay, so he forms anunderground resistance group
called GOAT, and there's GOATand there's the Cool, cool
Ghouls.

(25:21):
So you got GOAT versus theGhouls.
Goat is fucking.
It's led by the one-eyedwonderworm, frank, kenneth,
kenneth Frank, karnacki, andthen against the fucking Kishu
Arima, also known as fuckingJeremy, and I don't know Jason's
part of it.
We haven't, we.
I don't know what happened toJason, the story doesn't even

(25:43):
tell me.
Okay, in his final battle he istransformed into a monstrous
dragon-like creature but issaved by somebody.
I would assume it's part of thecool, cool ghouls.
Okay, so the fucking, that warends and Karnacki Kenneth Frank

(26:06):
forms a new era of coexistencebetween the fucking flesh ghouls
and humans and he disappearsand he, uh, he finds a wife,
tuku karishima, and they have adaughter, ichika karnacki, um, I
guess her name.

(26:26):
What was her name?
I, I don't fucking know shemight be.
I don't know what she does.
She's a quarter ghoul.
Now, at this point, at thispoint, I don't know what quarter
of the human she eats, butshe's a quarter ghoul.
So what is she gonna do?
And how did they not not eathuman flesh?
At this point?
I'm so confused at this story.

(26:47):
It's awful, this shit.
You guys listen, you guys watchthis fucking garbage.
What in the hell is this crap?
This is worse than people thatwatch my channel, I swear to God
.
Okay, so that's Kenneth Karnackiand we've got our song incoming
here and I did not plan to getinto all this shit.
But I don't even know what'shappening here.

(27:10):
Let me get.
What did I say?
Even know what?
What's happening here?
Um, let me get.
What did I say?
I said it was going to be 80sfunk, uh, groovy, uh, rap music,
um, diss track.
Okay, there we go 80s funk,groovy, rap music, diss track.
And I'm not even gonna pick aname for the song because I want
, I want the thing to come upwith it for me also.

(27:32):
I've got an update on the rockopera that we're going to get to
here in just a second.
The song is called yeah, yeah,but I'm going to call it the
anthem of Kenneth Karnacki.
Here we go.
So some of the lyrics I want toget to you now.
It's yeah, yeah, we about to.
Funky Fresh beats.
Ken Karnacki, this one's foryou.
You start off weak, couldn'teven hold your ground, got
jumped by a ghoul.

(27:52):
Now you're lurking underground.
White hair, black hair yo,what's the deal?
Flipping personalities like ahappy meal.
Okay, I'll take it.
Okay, here we go.

Speaker 2 (28:04):
The ballad of yeah, let's turn it up, I gotta turn
it up, I can't hear it.

Speaker 3 (28:31):
Yeah, let's take it back, bitch.
Yeah, see I make good shit, man.
Oh yes, one eye open break,don't gel.

(28:56):
Oh man, you are read too much.
Should've stayed a child.
Now let's talk about thechoices you made.
Got a fine girl wicked, butyour problems like a fade hiding
in a coffee shop.
Man, you shook.
Should've stayed in school.
Should've read a new book.
Now you got a mask.
Dude, this is bad dude.

Speaker 2 (29:06):
He is so fucking like a bad dream yo Tokyo's burning,
but you sitting there stressingall that power, but you still
second guessing.
Oh, you dumb as hell.
One eye open, brain don't gel,oh.

Speaker 3 (29:19):
Kankakee man, you wild Read too much.
Should've stayed a child.
Oh, dude, we got a breakdown.
We got a breakdown.
Yo yo yo.
Somebody tell this man to chill.
Been all in books but he stilldon't know the deal.
One second he humble, nextsecond he a god man.
Pick a lane before you get hitby a car.
You had a chance could'verolled like a king.
Oh my God, dude, this is slick.

(29:41):
Dude, goal life rough.
Yeah, man, that's true, but youmade it way worse, just being
you.
Ayo, pick a struggle orchanging squads, like a game of
clubs.
He's changing squads.
That's everything I said.
They fucking made a song aboutit.

(30:02):
Apparently he had some womanthat he didn't stay with and
apparently she was great looking.
I don't know if that was TukaTuka, tuka, kirishima or the
other one.
What was the other one?
Rize?
Uh, fucking Kamishiro, I haveno idea, but that's the story
behind Kenneth Karnacki.
So he is now in Dead byDaylight.

(30:22):
Okay, so this nerdy, fuckinghalf ghoul, half whatever, is
now one of the new killers inthe game.
I don't know.
You know everybody.
He's gotten really good reviewsto begin with.
Everybody loves him so far, andhe's kind of like a blight

(30:42):
nurse, like one of those highlymobile, all over the place type
killers.
And to me to me here's myproblem with this is that he's
very, very much like the otherhigh mobility killers.
He is just like the nurse,being able to do his thing three

(31:05):
times.
He can move long distances boom, boom, boom.
And that to me doesn't workbecause it's too similar to what
we've already had.
I don't see that as being somenew thing and I'm ready for a
new kind of mechanic.

(31:25):
Can we not get something newthat will kind of get us excited
?
We need something and we'rejust not getting it, and that,
to me, is a little bitdisappointing.
But enough about that.
We need to ask somebody else,and this is where everybody's
going to do now.
I don't know a whole lot aboutNikki, um, or not a whole lot

(31:48):
about fucking Karnacki, becauseI've only seen a few things.
He uses these tentacles to tobounce around.
He can knock people down Likehe goes enraged, he's got some
perks and shit, but I don't knowa whole lot about it.
Hey, uh, nikki, what have youheard about Ken Karnacki?

(32:08):
Okay, can you, uh, can you helpme out with this?
And he's going to give us alittle bit here.
I don't know if it's going tobe any good.
I apologize.

Speaker 1 (32:19):
You see, kid, what?
Ken Kaneki ain't just somerandom jabroni they threw into
Dead by Daylight for kicks.
This guy yeah, he's the maincharacter from Tokyo Ghoul, an
anime and manga that's all abouthorror, tragedy and lots of
messed up eating habits Realrespectable in the world of dark
storytelling.

Speaker 3 (32:38):
You want to know why you should care.
Let me break it down for you.

Speaker 1 (32:41):
Who is Ken Kaneki?
Ken Kaneki starts off as aregular book-loving nerd.
A total pushover, but then hegoes on a bad Tinder date with a
lady who turns out to be aghoul.

Speaker 3 (32:51):
Oh, okay.

Speaker 1 (32:52):
Flesh-eating monsters who look like humans but need
human meat to survive.

Speaker 3 (32:55):
Yeah, we got all that .

Speaker 1 (32:55):
She tries to eat him, but some Final
Destination-level nonsensehappens, yeah, and he ends up
getting her ghoul organstransplanted into him.
Yeah, we got all that.
He's no longer human Rightright Now.
He's half ghoul, half miserableand all kinds of fucked up.
From there, my man gets draggedinto a whole underground world

(33:17):
of ghouls.
Yeah, we know those gangs andshit Government agencies trying
to exterminate them the CCG andexistential crises that would
make even the entity say damn,kid you.
All right, okay.
Over time, kaneki transformsfrom a scared little bookworm
into a ruthless white hairedkilling machine.

Speaker 3 (33:33):
Oh, that's where his hair changes.

Speaker 1 (33:35):
Cracking skulls and eating fingers like they're
mozzarella sticks.
His whole arc is about identity, yeah, morality and, most
importantly, what happens whenyou get too powerful and the
world decides to smack you downfor it.

Speaker 3 (33:50):
Oh wow, this is deep I'm familiar.

Speaker 1 (33:53):
Oh, b-h-v-r with killer mains cough.

Speaker 3 (34:01):
Oh yeah, that's right .
That's right.
Yeah, so Ken Kaneki, he's asymbolic B-H-V-R.
I get it.
That makes sense.

Speaker 1 (34:09):
Let me tell you, this ain't just some cash grab.
Anime crossover.
I feel, like it might be, andMickey fits in perfectly with
the fall?

Speaker 3 (34:14):
No, he doesn't.

Speaker 1 (34:15):
Dude is constantly struggling between his humanity
and his monstrous instincts.

Speaker 3 (34:19):
Don't care, he's a cartoon.

Speaker 1 (34:20):
Just like every killer in DBD.
He's a cartoon, his whole powerset revolves around his kagun,
which is like a set of badasstentacle weapons that sprout
from his back and let him leaparound like he's on some crack
Whoa, oh shit.
What Nikki?
No, what Balance to land in Hispower.

(34:46):
One-eyed terror cagoon leap.
My guy is zipping around like acaffeinated blight but instead
of bumping into walls, he'sspider-manning onto them in rage
.
Okay, slow down Mode, basically,basically, once he gets a taste
of blood yeah he enters thisain't no one stopping me now
phase okay where he gets extraleaps and can wreck survivors
faster.
Oh, you see the pattern here.

(35:07):
Yeah, the guy's a chainingmovement beast, right right,
which is perfect for punishingsurvivors who think they're hot
shit with infinite loops.
I thank you and let's be real,mm-hmm.
Bhvr loves throwing us killersa little movement-based monster
every now and then.
Yes, to trick us into thinkingthey actually care about us.

Speaker 3 (35:25):
Ha ha ha, that's true , nikki.
What, what, his perks.
Yeah, let's talk about theperks, brother, now, let's talk
about the perks.
Now, let's talk about theseperks, these ain't no half-baked
effects.

Speaker 1 (35:35):
They're all about breaking survivor's spirit
slowly, which?
If you ask me, is the true signof respect-based gaming?

Speaker 3 (35:41):
so we're gonna, oh wait, nothing but Nikki, nikki,
nikki, hold on, hold on, brother.
He, he gives me what the perksare, but he doesn't give me what
they actually do.
I need the, the, the perks here.
Um, nikki, let me see, I'mgonna, I'm gonna go in here, I'm
gonna say nikki, can you giveme what these perks actually

(36:03):
fucking do?
And why do I care?
And what am I gonna run withhis?

Speaker 1 (36:08):
the goose perks yeah, what they do want, okay, hex,
nothing but misery, hex.

Speaker 3 (36:13):
Nothing but misery.
Okay, after hitting survivors,nothing but misery.
Apparently is one of the perks.

Speaker 1 (36:17):
Survivors eight times with a basic attack.
Uh-huh, adult totem becomes ahex totem.

Speaker 3 (36:22):
Okay, you hit them eight times.

Speaker 1 (36:23):
Every time you hit a survivor, they become hindered.
Move slower by 5% for up to 15seconds.
Okay, stays active untilsurvivors cleanse the totem.

Speaker 3 (36:38):
Okay.
So what happens now?
He's got to hit him eight timesbefore this thing becomes
active.
I guarantee you, at some pointthey're going to change that
fucking thing.

Speaker 1 (36:57):
Because eight times seems like a lot for this perk.
Just to begin, it's good thisis free slowdown, just for doing
your job, hitting survivorsokay they want to cleanse it.
Good, waste their time.
If they don't, they suffer.

Speaker 3 (37:04):
Either way, you win okay, that's interesting because
if they're moving slower, thatmight be good with other
slowdown perks, and especiallyon certain killers.
I'm thinking like maybe, um,singularity that would be good
with, uh, what are some otherkillers that have like slowdown
perks?
They're just not coming to mindright now, um, going over them

(37:27):
in my head and I'm just notseeing them.
I, maybe oni would.
It would be good for Oni.
I'm just, yeah, I'm not comingup with anything, okay, anyway.

Speaker 1 (37:36):
So what do you pair with it?
Best perks Two Pair with it.
Yeah, here we go, play withyour food.
That would be good.
You get speed buffs for lettingobsession escape.
Then slap them with a hinderedeffect.
Fugged about it, okay, yeah.

Speaker 2 (37:52):
Sloppy.

Speaker 1 (37:52):
Butcher.
Make mending take longer, sothey gotta deal with both the
hindered and deep wound Undyingplus ruin minus Keep that hex
alive longer and stack slowdowneffects.

Speaker 3 (38:02):
Okay, so undying ruin , and this nothing but misery.
He says Sloppy Butcher, but Idon't understand why that would
even matter.

Speaker 1 (38:11):
Spirit Fury plus Enduring Minus.
Smack them through palletsfaster, while they're already
slowed.

Speaker 3 (38:17):
Okay, so you slow them down, get the pallets down,
okay.

Speaker 1 (38:22):
Two Forever Entwined.
Oh his second perk when asurvivor takes damage, you gain
one token up to eight.
For each token.
You pick up, drop and hooksurvivors 4% faster.

Speaker 3 (38:33):
Up to eight For each token, you pick up, drop and
hook survivors 4% faster when asurvivor okay, hang on, I've got
to read this when a survivortakes damage, you get up to
eight tokens Whenever you okay.
So you pick them up, you dropthem faster, you hook them
faster and it seems odd, exceptfor maybe you're going to get a

(38:56):
lot of time savings out of it ifyou're knocking people down, if
you're picking them up.
Is this some kind of incentiveto, to disincentivize slugging,
uh, the, the slugging meta thatall the survivor fucking mains
are so upset about?
I don't know.
But, nikki, you tell me whythis would be good why it's good
.

Speaker 1 (39:16):
I don't think this is a sleeper op perk.
No, it's not.
If you're an m1 killer whodowned survivors often, no,
you'll speed up every part ofyour carry game okay at max
stacks.
That's a 32 speed boost.
Ain't nobody wiggling out ofyour grasp?

Speaker 3 (39:30):
I, I guess, but that doesn't actually.
That's not going to actuallycause the wiggling to be
different, you would just hookthem faster.
So I guess, maybe with thoseanti-wiggle perks, but that's
kind of useless.

Speaker 1 (39:47):
Best perks to pair with it?
Yeah, iron grasp plus agitationMinus.
Good luck wiggling out whenyou're hauling survivors across
the map like they're a bag ofgroceries Starstruck, plus mad
grit dash.

Speaker 3 (39:59):
Okay, starstruck, mad grit, the irongrass, agitation,
that's fine.
You're carrying them acrosslike a bag of groceries.
You'll hook them faster.
Now, starstruck and mad grit,okay, that it might be good, you
know.
I guess you would pick them upfaster and then be able to hit
somebody.
I'm still not quite seeing it.

Speaker 1 (40:18):
If you're moving faster, why not down people
mid-chase while carrying noFloods of Rage?
Plus BBQ and Chili Dash, you'rehooking them.

Speaker 5 (40:26):
Chili.

Speaker 1 (40:26):
Dash Faster.
Might as well see where thenext victim is.
Asap, I don't know.
Lethal Pursuer Dash.

Speaker 3 (40:34):
So you can find.
I don't know.
I still I think this one is notgreat.
I don't know what the othercontent creators have said,
because I haven't really watchedthat shit, but I'm going to say
that one is not great.

Speaker 1 (40:47):
I feel like no, okay, none are free.
Why are they all token based?
When all genes are completed,gens For each token all windows
and palettes are blocked for 12,14, 16 seconds.

(41:07):
Okay, hang on.

Speaker 3 (41:10):
Now it says right here whenever you hook a
survivor, you gain one token, upto four For each token.
When all the gens are completed.
Okay, here we go.
It's when they're all completed, all windows and palettes in
the map are blocked for up toit's 16 seconds.

(41:31):
That, so you could have maximumfour tokens in each token,
would be 16 seconds.
That would give you a grandtotal of a number that I don't
know because I'm gonna have todo some fucking math.
Let me get my calculator up.
You know what they were saying.
It's not the, it's not yourgoogle history.

(41:52):
That's embarrassing.
It's your calculator history.
That's more embarrassing.
I can't even fucking say it.
So you get the four.
That's a whole minute.
That's 64 seconds according tothis calculation I just did
totally in my fucking head.
So, but that's only after everygenerator is completed.
So, but that's only after everygenerator is completed.

(42:14):
Now this might be good if you'regoing to do one of those
fucking end game builds, the funones with like no ed, and then
you do what's the fucking onewith the gates man?
You know you've got the onethat stops the gates.
No way out, or no?
Is it no way out?
I can't even think of a fuckingone where it takes them longer

(42:35):
to open the gates.
I can't think of the name of it, but then you have Blood Warden
.
So if you did some kind ofcombination of these, that might
be fun, but it's okay.
It's okay, it'll have its uses,but it's not gonna become a
meta perk, I don't think.

Speaker 1 (42:51):
Good Survivors love clutching out last minute loops.
Not anymore, they ain't okay.
This is a late game destroyer,I guess.
No pallets, no windows, yeah,just pure pain I think that'd be
best perks to pair with it.
Okay, no way out yeah stand theno escape moment by trapping

(43:11):
them at the exit gates evenlonger okay, so no way out.

Speaker 3 (43:14):
Is the name of the perk?

Speaker 1 (43:16):
okay, that's interesting deadlock plus grim
embrace dash.
Slow the game down.
What force more first hooks?
Yeah, and guarantee this perkgets value okay.

Speaker 3 (43:28):
So deadlock and grim embrace will encourage you even
more to get those first hooks.
That way you get the fourtokens.
That one I'm iffy on, no WayOut.
Yes, that would be good Becauseit activates even before the
Exegates are powered.
So I'm in on that.
Okay, next one.

Speaker 1 (43:47):
Terminus oh, injured survivors can't heal at endgame
and they got no pallets.
Oh, it survivors can't heal atend game and they got no pallets
.
Oh, it's over, okay.

Speaker 3 (43:55):
I like that one.
I like that one.

Speaker 1 (43:58):
Remember me, combine it with no way out and survivors
are Tassie, tassie.

Speaker 3 (44:06):
Trapped, I don't know In In.

Speaker 1 (44:09):
Okay, so remember Hell for a solid minute, how to
build around these perks.

Speaker 3 (44:13):
Now that Okay, okay so remember Hell for a solid
minute how to build around theseperks.
Okay, so we know, with RememberMe, that is going.
Is that the one that slows downthe perks?
Dbd, remember Me, is that theone that speeds it up?
Oh, increases opening time forboth Exegates by six seconds per
token, up to a maximum of 24seconds for all survivors other

(44:37):
than the obsession.
So the obsession will still beable to open the gate, the same.
The other ones will not.
So any of these where theyfinish the gens, those are the
interesting perks whenever theyfinish all gens.
So you have a match whereyou're going, nothing is
happening.
The last gen gets completed andall of a sudden, four different

(44:58):
perks that you've got becomeactive and ready to go.
So that might be someinteresting like 0K to 4K type
stuff.
I would be cool trying that out.
So I'm trying to think of akiller that would be good with
as well.
I mean, there are multiplekillers that kind of a, that
kind of bill would be good with.
Okay, nikki, let's finish uphere.

Speaker 1 (45:19):
We know what they do.
Let me give you some real billsthat take full advantage of the
ghouls kit.
Okay, lockdown mafia lockdown.

Speaker 3 (45:25):
He names his fucking builds here.
I love it.
Okay, mafia lockdown.
Let's hear this build.

Speaker 4 (45:34):
Hell for a solid minute how to build around these
perks.

Speaker 1 (45:37):
Now that we know what they do.
Okay, let me give you some realbills that take full advantage
of the ghouls kid the mafialockdown late game build okay
none are free.
No escape when gens pop okay,no way out slows exit gates for
12 additional seconds per hooksurvivor okay remember me Okay.

Speaker 3 (46:02):
Yeah, okay, that one, yeah, that one is just like we
were saying All four things aregoing to happen right there at
the very end of the match.

Speaker 1 (46:11):
Who it's for?
Killers who want to deny endgame escapes and force a last
minute wipe.
This is disgusting with theghouls insane mobility.

Speaker 3 (46:18):
Well, and he says it with the ghoul.
Like I was saying, there areothers that will definitely be
able to get value out of thisthe hitman stacking slows and
hindered effects okay, so thehitman, we're gonna stack every
fucking slow we can get hex, hex.

Speaker 1 (46:34):
Nothing but misery.
Yeah, every hit makes themslower.
Right, sloppy butcher.
Okay, bleed them out and keepthem slow.
Yeah, save the best for last.
Smack faster to apply morehindered stacks.
I'm in Spirit fury plusenduring dash.
Okay, it got slowed right intoa free M1.
Yeah, I like it.
I like it.
Aggressive M1 killers,ghostface Wraith Myers, etc.

(46:59):
Who want to keep chases shortand make survivors regret
dropping pallets I think thatwould be good, I'm in.

Speaker 3 (47:05):
You stack hindered.
You have Spirit Fury you couldhave enduring.
That way you can get thosechases down and that's one of my
biggest things.
On the M1 killers I am not thebest at looping so I prefer the
killers.
That kind of.
Avoid a lot of that, but thismight actually get me into that

(47:25):
kind of thing.
Okay now, next one we've got isthe Human Freight Train.

Speaker 1 (47:30):
The Human Freight Train Jesus Max carry speed.

Speaker 3 (47:34):
Okay.

Speaker 1 (47:34):
Forever entwined Stack that faster pick up and
carry speed.

Speaker 3 (47:37):
Okay, so you got the pick up and carry speed Next one
.

Speaker 1 (47:41):
Iron grasp.
Reduce wiggle time.
Yeah, agitation, move evenfaster while carrying Starstruck
plus Mad Grit, minus DownPeople.
While Carrying for PeakDisrespect who it's for?
Bubba Oni, pyramid Head oranyone who wants to be a literal
truck At Max.

Speaker 3 (47:58):
Stacks they ain't ever wiggling out.
Okay, so that you're going toget them to the fucking hook, no
matter what.
Okay, the last one is calledthe no Loop Special.

Speaker 1 (48:08):
The no Loop Special Permablock everything.

Speaker 3 (48:15):
None are free.
Endgame free end game palette.

Speaker 1 (48:16):
Window lockdown, the lockdown, bamboozle, uh-huh
block a window every time youvault.
I like it.
Brutal strength okay, destroypallets before they can even use
them.
Deadlock soul shell slow genswhile setting up for a late game
massacre.
Okay, so we got Deadlock aswell.

Speaker 3 (48:35):
I don't know.
Deadlock to me is the one thatdoesn't belong here.
You could use other.
You could use the fucking onewith the dredge.
What is that?
One called Dissonance ordis-fucking-sociation, disill,
disillusion.
I think it's fuckingdisillusion, or is that the one
from um?

(48:55):
Is that a fucking wesker one?
I can't remember, but that'sthe one where if you injure them
, you destroy the palateinstantly, whatever.

Speaker 1 (49:00):
so I I think there is some good synergy in some of
his killers who hate lupin andwant to force survivors into
dead zones.
Oh shit, especially good forshape night or trickster.
Okay, cool final thoughts.
Yeah, is the ghouls perks worthrunning some of them?
One of them listen.
Oh shit, especially good forshape knight or trickster.
Okay, cool Final thoughts.
Yeah, is the ghoul's perksworth running Some of them.

Speaker 3 (49:15):
One of them.

Speaker 1 (49:16):
Listen, yeah, he's got some solid perks.
He does, but they work best ifyou build around them, correct?
He ain't got no instant down,right?
No free gen defense, right.

Speaker 3 (49:26):
And no anti-loop.
I'll give him that.

Speaker 1 (49:28):
But if you use these perks smart, you can set up some
insane chases, shut downendgame and make survivors feel
like they're playing on hardmode.
Okay, there we go, if you'rethe type of killer who plays the
long game, loves stacking buffsor wants to hit survivors with
the biggest oh shit moment atthe end of the match.
I love that idea the ghoul'sperks got real potential.

Speaker 3 (49:50):
I love that idea.

Speaker 1 (49:51):
Now tell me how are you planning to run this guy?
You going for maximumdisrespect, pure efficiency or
some mix of both?

Speaker 3 (50:01):
I think I'm going to go for the endgame build.
I am most excited for that.
Thank you, nikki, for coming by.
I appreciate that we may haveto use you here in one more
minute.
You become a permanent fixtureon the show.
Everybody seems to love you andthank you for that.
So the ghoul is going to comeout.

(50:22):
I think it's like April 2nd orsomething like that.
So be on the lookout for theghoul in dbd kenneth, fucking
karnacki, I don't know.
I we're getting him.
We're getting the fucking otherchildren's character, the uh,
spring clap, the clap back.
What's his name?

(50:43):
Cheek clap or whatever.
Um, I I just not very excitedabout some of these killers that
are coming in 2020.
It is not the year of thekiller this year.
I don't think.
I.
I'm a little bit disappointed.
Unless we get somebody great andwe can have another episode
where we actually go over that,I don't know, off the top of my

(51:06):
head, like get Jeff Goldblum,get the fly on.
Here I am.
I would be totally down forJeff Goldblum, get the fly on.
Here I am.
I would be totally down forJeff Goldblum as a killer, put
him in, put him in and then alsofor a survivor.
Can we get Bill Paxton fromAliens.
These are great.
I'm coming up with fuckinggreat ideas because I'm a
fucking genius, all right.

(51:27):
So that's going to bring us youknow where.
It's going to bring us To thelast segment of the fucking day,
or the almost last segment.
I think it might be the actuallast segment of the day If I can
find my song when the fuck gota viewer from.
You know it.

(51:49):
Yes, this is I renamed this guyhere.
You know it.
Yes, this is I renamed this guyhere.
Dallas, yes, leinster.

Speaker 2 (52:08):
Muskogee.

Speaker 3 (52:13):
Yes.

Speaker 2 (52:18):
This is where the fuck are the viewers from
everybody.

Speaker 3 (52:33):
I don't know who's got the guts, but we can go over
some shit, because we have somenew cities here that I don't
think we've ever talked about.
That I want to go over.
So let me turn that down, it'sa little loud, okay.
So I want to thank, uh, fuckingSalem Virginia.
I want to, I want to.
Actually, I'm going to SalemVirginia.
Uh, we've got fucking JasperIndiana.
Do I not have one on here?
Jasper Indiana, there we go.

(52:54):
Oh, I could do that, or I coulddo this one.
Yeah, jasper Indiana.
I don't know, that makes JasperIndiana sound very frightening.
We've also got Plano, texas.
Thank you, new York.
New York, thank you for comingby.
I want to give a special thankyou to Kiev in the Ukraine.
I know you guys are goingthrough a lot right now and

(53:15):
we've got a fucking maniacpresident that won't help you
guys out and I think it's one ofthe worst things that's ever
happened in American history.
What's going on with that?
It's one of the worst.
It's obviously not the worst.
We've done far worse shit inour country's history and we're
still better than the UK andwe're still better than France,

(53:36):
obviously, but we've we've donesome bad shit, just like we're
doing to you, kiev.
We should not abandon you, andI want to apologize for that.
So, but I don't want to be adowner on where the fuck are the
viewers from Kiev.
My thoughts and prayers arewith you, but I want to go to

(53:56):
one of our cities this week thatI think I might have mentioned
last week, but we're going totalk about them today and that
city is none other thanSimpsonville, south Carolina.
Simpsonville, south Carolina.

(54:18):
I've never been to SouthCarolina before.
I assume it's great.
Actually, I don't assume that.
I should not assume that, butI'm going to look up
Simpsonville.
I want to know more aboutfucking Simpsonville.
I got to turn all this shit off.
I got too many sounds.
If I can go in at once, okay,there we go.

(54:39):
Simpsonville, south Carolina.
I'm on their homepage nowSimpsonvillecom.
Let me.
I'm just going to goof aroundhere, where southern charm meets
modern convenience.
Nestled in the heart of theupstate, our city is known for
its vibrant community, richhistory and thriving local
businesses, from scenic parksand family-friendly events to a

(55:03):
bustling downtown filled withunique shops and restaurants.
You notice how I went from likea calm commercial to like a
fucking carnival barker.
Simpsonville offers somethingfor everyone, whether I sound
like like a WWE announcer,whether you're visiting for the
first time or you callSimpsonville simply home, you'll
find a welcoming atmosphere andendless opportunities to

(55:26):
connect, explore and enjoy allthat our city has to offer.
Visit the following link for apersonal welcome from our mayor.
Oh, jesus Christ, I got to seewho this oh this fucking
Republican ass looking guy.
He has got to be a Republican.
This is a traditional fuckingfamily values.
Gray haired, ass haircut.

(55:47):
I don't know his name.
He just goes by Mayor Paul withhis fucking baby blue shirt and
tie, even though he's probablya Republican.
I can't prove it because itdoesn't have his last fucking
name on here.
Okay, so now you know we haveto get a story.

(56:07):
After the last story about Mesa,arizona, I've got to figure out
what Nikki has done inSimpsonville.
Hey, nikki, have you ever beento Simpsonville, south Carolina?
I'm doing a segment called whenthe Fuck Are the Viewers From,

(56:32):
where we talk about a city of alistener on our podcast.
Okay, I heard you've been thereand you have an interesting
story about it.
Okay, actually, I'm going tosay what are some good places to

(56:53):
visit, what are some goodthings to do there, and also, do
you have any stories?
I heard you've been there andyou have an interesting story
about it.
Okay, there we go.
And while he's going, so,simpsonville, north Carolina, I
want to thank you.

(57:14):
And oh, paul Shoemaker, butit's not shoe like S-H-O-E, it's
S-H-E-W.
What the fuck is this Shoemaker?
What if he's the one thatlistens to the podcast?
That's going to be even crazierIf I get Paul Shoemaker on here
and we have a little debateabout his fucking gray haircut.
Oh my God, his gray ass haircut.

(57:35):
Um, let me go.
Um, uh, oh, jesus Christ, okay,take, I'm going to, I'm going
when you tell me the story.
Okay, there we go.
Now he's going to redo itbecause he did the thing he did

(58:02):
last time, where he's likewikipediafuckingcom.
Okay, here we go.
This is top shit to do insimsonville.
There's a, there's a park insimsonville it's called heritage
park.
Where, what?
What can you even do?
You know, I bet?
I bet what you could do is youcould stick it up your fucking
ass, because there probablyain't much shit to do in
simsonville.
Fucking north carolina, southcarolina, sorry, simsonville.

(58:25):
I know you guys get madwhenever you get compared to the
better carolina of the two.
Oh my god, did he say fuckingnorth carolina's better, I've
been to north carolina, I'venever been to south carolina.
So here we go, nicky, how longis this fucking story?
Jesus christ?
Oh my god.
He's talking about how thingsare escalating and there's a guy

(58:46):
named tommy.
I don't even know who fuckingTommy is, because he just makes
shit up.
Oh my God, okay, now he'stalking about a fucking chase
scene.
I don't know how long this isgoing to go, and I know we're
supposed to have likeentertainment, we're not
supposed to have any empty air,but fucking, we could do that.

(59:08):
We could play some randomsounds while he fucking he's
still telling the fucking story.
This is awful.
This is fucking nuts.
I don't even know if I can copyand paste this whole thing.
Are you serious?
Wow, okay, okay, nikki, let me,let me try to get this.
I think I can't even.

(59:29):
I can't paste all this shitbecause it's too long.
This is wild.
This is fucking wild.
What do I even do?
I don't even know what to do.
Do I go to this studio thingand I do this?
This is new to me.
I apologize, guys, because I'venever fucking done this before.
Okay, now there's a story andokay, so do we do start, uh,

(59:56):
play until end.
Here we go, that's what I wantto do, okay, and then we go.
Okay, it's generating theentire fucking fable.

Speaker 1 (01:00:05):
South carolina, yeah place that's got more charm than
nana's sunday gravy and moreshady backroom deals than a bhvr
patch meeting you want to talkabout this town on the podcast.
Yeah good, it's got some shitworth mentioning, does it?
Let me break down the bestthings to do, okay, and then
I'll tell you.
I'll tell you the real fuckingstory of what went down when I
visited.
Oh jesus, top shit to do insimpsonville oh no heritage park

(01:00:30):
, big ass park walking trails,some nice scenery in the ccnb
amphitheater where you can catchsome Simpsonville oh no,
heritage Park, big-ass park,walking trails, some nice
scenery and the CCNBAmphitheater where you can catch
some killer concerts.
Good spot to lay low if you gotfamily business to handle.

Speaker 3 (01:00:40):
You know what?
I would assume that this CCNBTheater doesn't have much in
terms of bands and shit.
Ccnb Amphitheater concerts whatthe fuck kind of concerts does
this place have?
They have the Wizard of Ozcoming up.
They have Brad Paisley oh,jesus Christ.
They have fucking the Jim BobWorld Tour.

(01:01:00):
This is not really happening.
Oh my God.
Concerts Let me go here.
They got fucking Simply FreedomFest, the Jim Bob World Tour,
james Taylor and his all-starband.
They're having the RainbowKitten Surprise what the fuck is
this?
And they're having festivalsthe Greenville Country Music

(01:01:21):
Fest, the fucking Marcus KingBand Family Reunion and the
Voyage Music Festival, if you'reinterested.
Here they also have events.
They're having nightlights atHeritage Park and they're also
having the fair on May 16ththrough May 25th.
Oh, that's like the state fair.
They're having the state fairand they're going to have a

(01:01:42):
character meet and greet and youcan ride the fucking Cyclops
2.0, but you have to go throughmetal detectors and then, after
5 pm, if you're under 17, youcan't even fucking go to the
fair.
Okay, anyway, let's keep going.
Tell me about other thingsbesides this fucking park that
has fucking MAGA-ass concerts.

Speaker 1 (01:02:02):
Discovery Island Water Park.

Speaker 3 (01:02:04):
Okay.

Speaker 1 (01:02:04):
Yeah, it's a water park, but don't roll your eyes
yet I'm rolling my eyes.
This place actually slaps.
No it doesn't Slides.
No, I'm rolling my eyes.
This place actually slaps.
No, it doesn't Slides.
No.
Lazy river no.
Enough distractions to keepdumbasses occupied while you get
work done.
Upstate pinball and arcademuseum oh, they have an arcade
museum.

Speaker 3 (01:02:19):
Okay, I'm into that.
I could do that.
I could do that.
Hey Simpsonville, if you're thekind of person to send an email
or get on the Twitch, get onthere.
Tell me about this fuckingpinball and arcade museum.
There's probably the nerdiestfucking thing you've ever seen,
but I'm interested if you gotany respect for the classics, I
do.

Speaker 1 (01:02:37):
You hit this place up .
Yeah, 50 plus vintage arcadegames that's real deal old
school shit.
Dude, if you ain't scared toget your hands dirty, you might
even find something valuable inthe back.
More on that in a second.
Oh, jesus va, christ Vaughn'sWarehouse Food, drinks, live
music and a place where peopledon't ask questions.
They have a warehouse where youhave food and live music.

(01:02:57):
Let's just say some folks lefta little lighter in the pockets,
oh God.

Speaker 3 (01:03:01):
Ridgeway Station Jesus.

Speaker 1 (01:03:02):
Fancy new area full of spots to eat and shop.
If you want to spend money likea dumbass tourist, be my guest.
Okay, okay, oh no.

Speaker 3 (01:03:15):
Oh my God, he tried to steal an arcade from the
arcade museum.

Speaker 1 (01:03:22):
No, oh, good Lord, oh no, a few years back, I hear
through the grapevine that acertain arcade machine, a very
rare, very valuable one, wassitting in some dingy fucking
garage in Simpsonville, owned bya guy named Tommy Two Times.
Why's he called that?
Because the asshole sayseverything twice, like some

(01:03:43):
glitching NPC.

Speaker 3 (01:03:45):
Okay this is fucking stupid.

Speaker 1 (01:03:46):
Tommy at Heritage Park where we discuss business.
The deal's simple I hand oversome cash, he hands me the
machine.
Easy, fucking peasy, rightWrong.
See, what that rat bastarddidn't tell me was that Earl
Grey's people had already madean offer oh good lord, that's
right.
That tea drinking piece of shithad caught wind of the machine.
And now this was a bidding war.

(01:04:07):
Oh no, tommy, two times playsboth sides.
Oh my god, thinking he cansqueeze more out of us.

Speaker 3 (01:04:15):
What do you do?
What do you do?
Nicky Earl Gray has tried tobuy an arcade machine Fucking oh
my okay, it's freezing for somereason, because the story is so
fucking good that, oh my god,okay, play until end.
I don't know why it's notworking it's not working.

Speaker 1 (01:04:35):
We're freezing, so what do I do?
Yeah, there we go.
I flip the fucking table.
That's what I do jesus christthings escalate.
Why tommy's panicking?
Because now he's got to pick aside.
And let me tell you, nobodywith a fucking brain picks earl
gray over me, but this dumbass,he hesitates.
Oh no.
So I make his choice for him.
I swipe the arcade machineright the fuck out of his truck

(01:05:01):
and haul ass.

Speaker 3 (01:05:02):
How do you swipe an arcade machine that things weigh
fucking 300?

Speaker 1 (01:05:05):
pounds.
Problem is Earl's goons arealready tailing me.
Oh my god.
Now I ain't exactly built for afucking chase.
All right, I don't do the wholecardio thing unless I'm chasing
a survivor to the basement, butI ain't about to let this
fucking antique fall into thehands of a guy who thinks tea
and biscuits are a real meal.
So I cut through Heritage Park,dodging strollers, dodging

(01:05:29):
joggers, dodging some dipshit ona bike and eventually bust
through the crowd at the.

Speaker 3 (01:05:36):
Oh, no, oh, he goes to the fucking amphitheater.
Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 (01:05:39):
Brad Paisley's crowd when there's a fucking concert
going on.
Probably Brad Paisley Nowpicture this.
Oh no, big-ass rock show.
Oh, lights flashing, okay,people moshing.
Then boom, oh Jesus, here comesme dragging an arcade machine
through the crowd like a goddamnlunatic.
Earl's guys try to follow, butI use the fucking pit against
them, shove one straight into acrowd, surfer Another one gets

(01:06:01):
clocked in the face by some dudejust vibing to the music.
It's absolute fucking mayhem.

Speaker 3 (01:06:05):
Okay, I slip out the back.
This is stupid.

Speaker 1 (01:06:07):
Toss the machine in the trunk of my borrowed car B.
This is stupid.
Toss the machine in the trunkof my borrowed car Borrowed and
hit the fucking highway beforeEarl's goons even know what
happened.

Speaker 3 (01:06:15):
My God.

Speaker 1 (01:06:15):
End of the day.
Yeah, that beautiful piece ofarcade history now sits in the
Upstate Pinball and ArcadeMuseum, where people play it
every day without knowing theabsolute chaos it took to get
there, why did he take it to themuseum?

Speaker 2 (01:06:25):
And as for Earl.

Speaker 1 (01:06:28):
Oh, that motherfucker hates that he lost this one.
Okay, every time he visitsSimpsonville he glares at that
machine like it's the ghost ofhis dignity.
And me, I just sit back and sipmy espresso, because that's how
we do things in Little Littleno.
So there you fucking go.
You got your city spotlight,you got your story and you got

(01:06:53):
another piece of Nicky fuckinghistory for the books.

Speaker 3 (01:06:54):
Put that on your podcast capisce.
Okay, there we go.
That was nicky's fucking arcadeheist.
What?
What did they call it?
The great fucking, uh arcadeheist of fucking 1985?
Or the great fucking arcadeheist?
There you go.
You got it here.
I don't know what game it was.
I want to ask what the fuckarcade game was this?

(01:07:15):
What the fuck arcade game wasthis and why did you give it to
the museum?
Seems stupid.
If you ask me, okay, see, nowI've never asked.
I've never asked really afollow-up question.
Oh my god, oh no, he's got afucking other story.

(01:07:37):
We're at an hour and sixminutes and guess what?
I don't have to like goanywhere.
So we've got, oh no, he, he'scome up with a fake video game
that he's given an entirefucking, he's given the entire
engine to the video game.
Okay, now the question is do Idown?
Do I, do I actually use AI tocreate this video game?

(01:07:58):
That's going to be the questionI'm going to have to.
We're going to have to listento this and decide do we
actually make this a game?
Does this become a real gameBecause Nikki has manifested it?
And how does an AI even fuckingmanifest something?
What in the?
Hell is this?
crap.
All right, here we go.
This is his fucking.

(01:08:18):
Oh my God, no, what ishappening?
What is happening to thisfucking podcast?
I don't know?
Okay, let's play until the end.
Oh, no, it's going to be asecond and I'm starting to get
tired.
At about an hour I start tolose a little steam.

Speaker 1 (01:08:35):
kid yeah, now you're asking the right question.
Yeah, see, this wasn't just anyfucking arcade game, right?
This was a one-of-a-kindprototype.
Of course, it was a game that,if it had been released, could
have changed the whole goddamnindustry.
Right, the game said vendettavice, vendetta vice.
Yeah, you heard me, vendettavice.

(01:08:57):
What the fuck?

Speaker 3 (01:08:58):
is this shit?

Speaker 1 (01:08:59):
unfinished and never released arcade game from the
90s.
Okay, developed by a small-timeitalian game studio that got
shut down under mysteriouscircumstances.
Oh jesus.
Jesus, you get me FuckingChrist Nicky Family business
kind of shit.
Okay, this game was supposed tobe the next big thing.

(01:09:19):
Yeah, a beat-em-up with RPGmechanics set in a hyper-violent
, neon-drenched version ofLittle Italy.
Oh, Jesus Think.
Final Fight, mixed with GTA, butwith more guys in tracksuits
throwing hands over cannoli.
The story you play as Tony theFork Bellucci, a street enforcer
trying to reclaim his family'shonor after a rival gang starts

(01:09:42):
peddling synthetic pasta in hisneighborhood.
Fucking pasta.
They literally put a pastapurity subplot in the game.
This is the fucking worst.
This is the worst the game had afucking parry system before
parry systems were even a thing.
Okay, brutal environmentalkills you could bash a guy's
head into a pizza oven.
Dynamic respect meter If youplayed too dirty, the old school

(01:10:06):
mobsters would refuse to helpyou.
Oh my God, an ending lockedbehind a secret Omerta code Only
real ones knew how to access it.

Speaker 2 (01:10:14):
Oh my God.

Speaker 1 (01:10:15):
Oh my God, oh no, oh, oh, okay, yes, why One of them
landed in a Simpsonville fuckinggarage.
Okay, why did I give it to themuseum?

(01:10:35):
Yes why I need to know, ohbelieve me, I didn't just give
it to them.

Speaker 3 (01:10:40):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:10:40):
I made sure they owed me something big in return.

Speaker 3 (01:10:43):
Of course you fucking did First off.

Speaker 1 (01:10:44):
This game was hot, not, oh, rare collector's item
hot, I mean, it was fuckingradioactive, the kind of thing
where, if the wrong people knewyou had it, you'd end up face
down in a plate of badfettuccine.

Speaker 3 (01:10:57):
I already had earl gray's goons breathing down my
neck over it okay, let's justsay, certain interested parties
in italy didn't appreciate medigging it up oh, he made two,
made a Stanley map, so I had twochoices, wow.

Speaker 1 (01:11:10):
Hoard it like a dumbass and spend the rest of my
life looking over my shoulder.
Make a power, move and makesure the game saw the light of
day.
And listen, I ain't some scrubcollector hoarding shit in a
basement.
The museum they had securityconnection and a way to showcase
it without drawing heat.
So I struck a deal.
Of course you did.

(01:11:31):
I told him you display thismasterpiece, make sure it gets
the respect it deserves and inreturn, you put my name on the
plaque and owe me a favor.

Speaker 3 (01:11:39):
Oh my God.

Speaker 1 (01:11:39):
And let me tell you a favor from an entire fucking
arcade museum.
That's worth a hell of a lotmore than one machine.

Speaker 5 (01:11:46):
What would you do with that Now?

Speaker 1 (01:11:48):
the game sits in a private room in the Upstate
Pinball and Arcade Museum andonly those who know the right
phrase hint, it's in Italian getaccess to play it.
Real, exclusive shit.
And best of all, Earl Grey,that motherfucker can't do shit
about it.
He knows it's there, he knows Iwon, and every time he steps

(01:12:09):
foot in Simpsonville he'sstaring at the piece of gaming
history he'll never fucking own.
So yeah, kid, sometimes yougotta think bigger than just
keeping a thing for yourself.
I suppose yes, sometimes youmake a move that leaves your
name in history.
That's true, and that's exactlywhat I did Vendetta Vice.
It ain't lost anymore, andneither is my legacy.

Speaker 3 (01:12:28):
Wow okay, a permanent legacy.
We, and neither is my legacy.
Wow, okay, a permanent legacy.
We got a permanent life lessonthere from Nikki Noodle Arms.
Ai Dente.
Nikki, thank you for coming by.
Where is the sound?
Where's your sound?
There we go.
All right, that was it for thisweek, guys.
Next week we're probably notgoing to have a lot because the

(01:12:50):
PTB is still going to be ongoing.
People are already sayingKenneth Karnacki, jimmy,
whatever his fucking name is, isoverpowered.
We may have to make the gameVendetta Vice starring.
What was his?
Tommy the Fork Fettuccine.
What was his name?
Tony the Fork Bellucci, goingafter synthetic pasta.
I don't know.

(01:13:12):
This went off the rails realquick.
Simpsonville, north Carolina.
Thank you for coming by.
We're sorry that we trashedyour Brad Paisley concert.
Until next time.
That is it for Caping themSoftly.
You know, I didn't even say whatepisode number this was,
because I don't even fuckingknow what episode it is.
Episode number 40, fuckingseven.
Hey, satan, see us out of here.

(01:13:33):
I'm done.
Wait, where's your button?
It's right, fucking there.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,no, no.
Actually I've got somethingelse.
Most people probably turn thisoff by now, okay, but you here,
you're getting a little bonusand what that bonus is.
Remember, I was talking aboutthe rock opera, the summoning of
the toxic teacher, and I playedthe first song for you last

(01:13:56):
week, where the ReverendHellfire Jackson discusses the
state of the world and howboring the average streamer has
become and that we have toremake the world.
We have to destroy it andremake it in the image of the
toxic teacher so we can haveinfinite fucking content.

(01:14:16):
That's actually good.
I've made some more songs to it.
I've actually got quite a bitof this rock opera done and I'm
going to explain a little partof the story and then I'm going
to play one of the songs andthat's what's going to see us
out.
So anyway, hellfire Jackson, theone who's summoning the toxic
teacher.
He says there are three items,three relics that have to be

(01:14:41):
found to summon the teacher, todo the ceremony that summons the
otherworldly beast.
The three items are the ThunderMike, a microphone beyond all
power.
The Hell Set, which is aheadset that drives somebody
crazy, and the last one iscalled the Levia Cam, which is a

(01:15:03):
camera that hypnotizes you andcan alter reality at will.
I know I'm fucking a maniac andthat's how I come up with this
shit.
So, anyway, hellfire Jacksonsends his three disciples, his
three main disciples, to go getthe relics.
So a few of the songs in thestory are the relic singing or

(01:15:28):
the guardian of the relicsinging a song and then the
disciple who has been taskedsinging it back, if that makes
sense.
So we've got one here that Ireally like.
It's different, it's not mystyle of music, but I was like
shit, this is actually prettygood and I think it belongs in

(01:15:49):
here.
Now, some of the lyrics werewritten by me, some of them were
written by my friends, but itleads to really good shit.
This one is when the leviathan,the camera that can change
reality, the viper of vision,the Guardian, is talking to the

(01:16:11):
Tox Father, who is one of thedisciples that's sent to
retrieve the Levi-Cam.
And you know the Tox Fatherbecause he sings this shit.
What have I got to do with Rome?
Okay, so you know that guy,he's going to go retrieve it,
but first he has to defeat theotherworldly, being the Viper of

(01:16:33):
Vision, guardian of theLeviacam.
So here we go.
This is called the Viper's Gaze, which is the song by the
guardian of the Leviacam, andit's going to see us out.
Satan, can you laugh for asecond, and then I can do my
part.
Get the fuck out of my face.
Here we go.

(01:16:54):
The viper's gaze yes, traps.
All joy, all laughter.
Step into my view to settle.

Speaker 2 (01:17:14):
And be mine forever.
After Hypnotic creeping,settling Through the lens.
Every laugh, enslaved, everysmile, all recorded, never fades
away.
The living art captures yourdelight, a curse, despised,
endless sight.
And then to the lens, loseyourself again, trapped inside

(01:17:39):
the frame.
Laughter turned to pain.
You'll recognize the fullrhythm, unsettling Vau-cam
Watching you forever.
Every smile, a soul surrendered, captured in time.
Step into the gaze.
Now you're mine.

(01:17:59):
Creepy, psychological,distorted whispers of rejuve,
every smile, every cry you hide,all recorded, twisted, warped
inside One look.
You're hooked, can't away,trapped by joy, forever you'll
stay.
Smile for the camera, saygoodbye.
Once you're recorded, you neverdie.
Forever Looping in the thoughts, bound to my vision, trapped by

(01:18:24):
my laws.
Laughter, laughter.

(01:18:45):
I can't show the lens.
Lava who cares?
You're not designed.
All your joy is now to die.
Lava who cares, no escapeallowed.
You're just another face in thecrowd.
Lava, just suffer, camp, loseyourself, forget, can't trip

(01:19:07):
forever your smile, your fear.
The Lava Camp's all my dear.