Improve Any Conversation (Season 2 Episode 35)

Day to day, people exchange information, share perspectives, attempt to persuade one another. What if I told you there was a genuine way you could structure your conversations that would strengthen relationships, improve agreeability, and yield better outcomes for both sides? Would you try it? I lay out four steps that will better prepare you for any conversation personally or professionally. Each step is easily doable, preparation can take as little as three minutes, and it’s proven to improve the quality of your discussions. So much of it is human nature yet most people fail to tap into it and then wonder why meetings end in frustration. Learn the four steps, begin applying them immediately, and notice the different responses you start receiving. (I’ll provide the link) 

 

Show Notes

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Workshop – 3 Roadblocks Keeping Your Team From Winning

Episode Transcript

Michael Kithcart (00:03):
Hello, I'm Michael Kithcart, creator of the
Wynning Your Way framework andperformance coach for sales
leaders. Welcome to theChampions of RISK Podcast, where
we examine the many aspects ofrisk. So we can all face
uncertainty with more courageand confidence, and a little bit
of humor together.
Okay, so when you have the bigconversation, you know, the one

(00:27):
where it's crucial, it'simportant, maybe makes you a
little bit nervous, you probablyprepare for it, right? But what
about all of the conversationsthat you have every single day?
How much preparation do you putinto those conversations?

(00:48):
Chances are not nearly as muchas you do for those Crucial
Conversations. But what if youput a little bit of prep in?
Could you imagine the types ofoutcomes you could get? That's
what we're going to talk abouttoday. Because I believe if you
just take a few quick actionsteps, in preparation for

(01:12):
conversations that you have,that you will find that you will
get far greater outcomes. And sotoday, I want to share with you
the three A's and two keysecrets about how to improve the
outcomes of conversations.
Now, how many times do youactually think about what you

(01:32):
want the outcome to be when youare having a family
conversation, maybe aconversation with a peer a
discussion with your boss? You-if you are working with clients,
and if you're listening to thispodcast, chances are really high
that you are, you probably dosome type of preparation and

(01:52):
anticipation of a presentationthat you're giving. But what
about when you're just pickingup the phone? Or you're meeting
that client for lunch? If youjust think about for a moment?
What is your intention of theconversation? What do you hope
the outcome could be and youwalk into it, that alone will
put you in a better frameworkfor having a more productive

(02:16):
discussion, where you willactually have the opportunity to
learn something new about theperson. And chances are that the
engagement and the experiencethat the other person has with
you is going to go upexponentially. Okay, outside of
that, what is helpful?
Assume positive intent. If youwent in to every situation, or

(02:42):
just walked around throughoutthe day, and you assumed that
whatever interaction you'rehaving with people that they had
a good intention, rather than anegative intention. What would
that do to your overall outlookin life? Yeah, think about that
for a moment. If you know, andI've shared this before, I'm

(03:04):
sure I'll share it lots moretimes, too, that our brains are
predisposed to think- havenegative thoughts from a
protective standpoint? How manytimes do you think, Oh, that
person's- That person's justgonna say no, or they're not
going to like what it is that Ihave to say? Rather than think
that, what if you came acrossand you said, I assume that this

(03:29):
person is going to be willing tohear me out that they will take
my suggestions intoconsideration. If you just did
that, and you did it for others,I'm telling you, the world would
just be a better place. And soyou can do your part on that you
can start having making someimpact by just assuming positive

(03:52):
intent going into anyconversation. And I'm not
talking like the big deals,right? These can be casual
conversations that you're havingwith friends, neighbors, peers,
clients, family members, there'san opportunity to amplify that
every day, multiple times a day.

(04:14):
Okay, so here are the three A'sthat I really want to share with
you that if you just use thisoutline on a consistent basis, I
assure you that you will havebetter outcomes to your
discussions.
So the first one is acknowledge.
And acknowledge is so importantbecause it really helps us have
a better connection with peopleacknowledge is really

(04:38):
foundational. And the big thingabout this is is often missed,
we often don't take the time toset up our conversation in a way
that you're really acknowledgingwhere the person is at
currently, you're missing theopportunity to demonstrate to

(04:59):
another human being that you seethem.
And who doesn't want to be seenand heard? We all do. Think
about it, you do too. So if youprovide that to somebody from
the beginning, imagine how itmakes a shift in them, and how

(05:20):
it will redirect everythingthat's said, After that, so
acknowledges about explicitlysharing your understanding of an
appreciation for the otherperson's current realities, it
could be that they've had areally hard time lately, I
understand that business hasbeen challenging for you over

(05:44):
the last year and a half. Andit's ongoing, and there's not
necessarily you know, a definedend in sight that must be really
wearing you down, just try that,I bet, you will see people's
shoulders drop, maybe a bigheavy side comes out, you could
acknowledge their, theirstruggles that they've had,

(06:06):
like, you've been working sohard, maybe this is somebody on
your team, right? I see you, Isee working really, really hard.
And I really appreciate all theeffort that you're you've been
making, and you are making greatprogress. And I also see that
there's some overwhelm aroundyou that all of this work and
all the moving pieces can be alittle overwhelming, or maybe

(06:29):
you are going to acknowledgesomebody's successes, I see that
you have increasingly beenmaking changes and having
different outcomes, or you'reexceeding your sales budgets, or
you've been bringing on brandnew clients that we've never
ever had before. How often areyou truly acknowledging the

(06:51):
effort that goes behind thosesuccesses? So just take into
consideration that before youmake a request of someone, or
you share maybe what's going tobe hard information that you
think about the situation thatthey are in and have been in,
and ask yourself, you know, howdo you want to actually start a

(07:16):
dialogue with them? Doing two,three minutes of preparation
around acknowledgement from thebeginning will radically shift
the type of exchange that youhave with another person.
Okay. Second A is ambition. Thisis really about appealing to
another person's ambition for abetter future. Again, as humans,

(07:40):
we do think, we have hope, weanticipate that things are going
to get better from this currentstate that we are in, regardless
of maybe things are great rightnow. Yeah. And we expect that
they're going to continue to getbetter. When people are faced

(08:00):
with really challenging hardtimes, there is an expectation
that there is light at the endof the tunnel, and things will
get better. And we want to tapinto that, so that we can
improve the conversations thatwe have with people. So think
about the next discussion thatyou are going to have, and what
motivates that person, thinkabout how you can bring them a

(08:26):
reward around something thatmatters to them. So maybe it's
their intrinsic motivation,think about the person are this
is this somebody that would liketo, or is motivated to do
something, or consider adifferent point of view, because
they are passionate about it,you would be tapping into their

(08:48):
values so that there's personalmeaning around it, or it's
something that could bring themmore joy in their life, bringing
that to the forefront and, andhighlighting that can really
make a difference. On the otherside of extrinsic motivation is
around recognition andappreciation status in power. So

(09:10):
this could be you know, bringingup points throughout, that taps
into them getting to a nextlevel of achievement, or
personal growth, or that theyare going to receive recognition
from people that they respecteither personally or
professionally, that to broughtinto the conversation at the

(09:34):
right time, can really make abig difference.
And the third piece is how muchAffect are you bringing into
your conversations and affect bythat I'm talking about emotion,
what kind of stories are yousharing? What kind of energy are
you bringing to the conversationand tone that you're using in

(09:57):
the dialogue and maybe you- Youknow, if it's in person, what
kind of hand gestures are beingmade, you want to get people
feeling something about theexchange that the two of you are
having? Or maybe it's multiplepeople. But still, if that can
be a great opportunity, like,how are you showing up in a way

(10:23):
that is going to appealpositively to people's emotions?
Those are the three A's. If youthink about, how are you going
to acknowledge people tap intowhat motivates them, and bring
some emotion to the conversationthat in itself can radically,

(10:47):
radically shift what's going on.
And I really, I want tochallenge you to try it. And if
you even if you just bring oneof the A's in, try it, try it on
for size, see how it goes, playwith it. And let me know what
that changes for you like, whatdo you notice? How did the

(11:07):
person start to respond to youdifferently? Oh, that's a great
indication that you have tappedinto something powerful, and it
can really make a positiveimpact on your relationships
with people that in itselfshould be a great motivator.

S (11:27):
think of an area in your life where you need to have a
productive conversation in thenext week or so. And just map
out the things that you wouldwant to say to that person to
acknowledge them? What wouldthat be? And what would you say
to them to appeal to theirambition? And how would you

(11:50):
bring the affect, the emotion tothe conversation, in a positive
way? There's your formula, thethree A's plus assuming positive
attempts. And actually thinkingabout the desired outcome that

(12:10):
you want to have from theconversation will help improve
any dialogue personally orprofessionally. drop me a line,
comment in the social section.
And let me know how these threeA's actually changed the way

(12:30):
that you engage with others. AndI will catch you on the next
Champions of Risk podcast.
Let me break it to you. This maybe a hard, hard headline to
hear. But goal setting is notthe key to sales success. I know
it's almost hard for me to sayit myself having a long history

(12:51):
in sales. But we know that youhave to have goals, right? It's
necessary, but I'm telling you,it is not the key. If it was
every sales team on the planetwith a goal would hit it. And if
you are like most salesprofessionals, let's get real.
You've missed a budget or two inyour career. There are other

(13:12):
factors that contribute toconsistently getting your
desired results. And I want toshare them with you. Join me for
a free workshop on October 7.
The Three Roadblocks KeepingSales Teams from Winning. I'm
telling you, this is gold,because achievement isn't the
problem. Working harder isn'tthe answer. And overwhelm does
not have to be a daily presentfeeling. So learn how to break

(13:38):
through the roadblocks and I'mgoing to give you The five C's
to Winning. That can make a hugedifference. It's free. It's over
your lunch hour if you're in theMidwest, and it's Thursday,
October 7. A link is in the shownotes and looking forward to
seeing you there.