June 16, 2025 • 9 mins
Is it okay to want a good life as a Christian? Is it okay to want to provide a good life for your family? Or, is a Christian supposed to be poor and only care about spiritual matters? Watch this video to hear the answer I gave to a subscriber when she sent me this question. #GoodLife #Christianity #ComfortableLife #ComfortsInChristianity
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
You're listening to an audio recordingby Change My Relationship, featuring
licensed marriage and family therapistand author Karla Downing.
These audios are designed to provide youwith practical solutions
based on biblical truthsfor all your relationships.
(00:20):
it okay to want a good lifeas a Christian?
I received this email from a womanwith just that question, she says.
I was wondering if you have insight intosome things I have been struggling with.
I think some beliefs have beeningrained in me that maybe aren't
necessarily from God or the Bible.
Sometimes I hear a messageshe means in church.
(00:42):
Then I feel guilt or condemnation.
For example, our pastorpreached on Paul's missionary journey
and how he didn't chase comfort,success, or money.
It made me wonder if it's okay
or bad to have a house,or even to have basic necessities in life.
Am I being unchristianif I have comfort or just my needs met?
(01:05):
Since sometimes Paul went withoutand he is the model Christian.
Is it bad to want my daughter to bewell taken care of?
I feel so hurt and confusedand at war with these things.
I think it has pushed me away from God.
Yes, God does not want you to be confused.
He does not want you to be guilt ridden.
(01:25):
He does not want you to give your life up
or to give your financesor resources under compulsion.
It is a choiceyou give from a cheerful heart.
But some of those views are rigidand not necessarily biblical.
First of all,the Apostle Paul was talking about
(01:47):
he was called to be a missionary.
That was his calling from God.
He did not tell in any of his letters,to the letters to the churches
that everyone had to be a missionary,as he was.
He did not tell themthat they had to give everything up.
In fact, the early Christians tried that,and when they put all of their things
(02:11):
together and they gave everything up,and they all took from one common,
bowl of of their moneyand their resources, they ended up
very poor in the churches in Jerusalem,because when you put everything
into a mutual fund, people
stop having an incentive to work.
(02:31):
They have a desire.
If we all have a desire to work,
but to to have fruitfrom the rewards of our labor.
So when you have, peoplethat are giving everything
up, theysome people get really, really lazy
and they don't givethey don't take care of themselves.
So basically, also Paul said,
(02:55):
in 1 Corinthians 7:25-40that he was not called to be married.
He chose to stay single.
But he said, that doesn't meanthat you have to.
For those of you that stay single,you will find that your heart
will not be divided betweenserving your spouse and serving the Lord.
But if you do need to marryor want to marry, it's okay.
There's no reason to look at oneand say that this is wrong.
(03:20):
So you can feel comfortablethat if you want to have a family,
you want to have a home,you want to have children.
Scripture is fine with that.
Also, Paul talked to rich peopleand he told them to be generous.
And he said, you can share with otherswhat you have.
But he did not condemn themfor being rich.
(03:43):
He did not condemn them from for gaining,resources and assets.
And he did not tell themthat they were wrong
or that they had to give it all.
So these are misunderstandingsthat are rigid,
that cause you to feel confused,cause you to feel guilty,
cause you to feel like you likeGod is condemning you.
And and the sad part is, is this womansaid as it pulls you away from God,
(04:06):
not towards God.
It's likely that she, like many of youand myself, grew up in a rigid home
that was very black and whiteand dysfunctional,
or possibly a very rigid, judgmental,kind of church where when you hear things
like this, your first response is to say,oh, I have to be like that.
I'm wrong for being the way I am.
(04:28):
Is it wrong to want her daughterto have good things?
Absolutely not.
What parent does not want their childto have good things?
What parent does not want their childto be well provided for?
Jesus even said thatlike when do you, as a parent,
give your kid, a fishwhen your child is is acting asking?
(04:49):
I believe it was a fish asking for bread.
Like no, you give your childwhat your child is wanting.
So no, it is not.
It is not wrongto want to have a good life.
It is wrong to be wealthy
and to have all kinds of resourcesand not to give.
But there is no requirement in Scriptureto give all of it or most of it.
(05:13):
That is between your conscience with God.
Ecclesiastes tells us that it is God.
Literally.
At the end of that book, Solomon said,
okay, I've learned as I've exploredall of these things, including pleasure,
and I find that, pleasure in and enjoyingwhat God has blessed us with.
(05:34):
What we have gained fromthe work of our hands is okay.
But I know that in the endthat my relationship with God and serving
God is what matters mostat the end of my life and for eternity.
But it is not wrong to be happy
and to enjoy what you have worked foror what God has blessed you with.
(05:56):
That's what it saysall the way through it. Out.
Ecclesiastes.
So also and 1 Thessalonians 4:11-12,
Paul tells us, make it your ambitionto lead a quiet life.
You should mind your own business and workwith your hands, just as we told you,
so that your daily lifemay win the respect of outsiders,
(06:19):
and so thatyou will not be dependent on anybody.
So you are to first provide for yourself,your own needs and your family's needs,
not to expect other peopleto provide for you.
And in order to do that,in order to work, in order to have a job,
you have to be living a life where you aredoing that, where you're working
and taking care of your family,where you have a family also.
(06:42):
Ecclesiastes 7:16-18 says, do not be overrighteous, neither be over wise.
Why destroy yourself? Do not be overwicked.
Do not be a fool.Why die before your time?
It is good to graspthe one and let go of the other.
Whoever fearsGod will, will avoid all extremes.
So basically, to say we don't have to goto this black and white thinking
(07:05):
we don't have to go all or nothing.
I either give up everythingand don't have anything or,
I'm living this lifewhere, I'm not serving God.
No, there are plenty of in-betweens.
You there's no way that missionariesand organizations that are doing
the work of God would surviveif they didn't have people
(07:26):
that were working to providefinancially for them to do that work.
Also, first Timothy 6:17-19 says,
commandthose who are rich in this present world
not to be arrogant,nor to put their hope and wealth
which is so uncertain,but to put their hope in God,
who richly provides uswith everything for our enjoyment.
(07:50):
Wow, you're.
It's okay to enjoy what God has given you.
Command them to do good,to be rich in good deeds,
and to be generous and willing to share.
In this waythey will lay it for themselves.
Treasureas a firm foundation for the coming age,
so that they may take hold of the lifethat is truly life.
(08:10):
But again, no condemnation of being rich
and no telling themthat you have to give up everything first.
2 Corinthians 9:7says that God loves a cheerful giver,
and then he wants us to give out a choice,not compulsion.
So I hope that that gave you a little bitbetter insight as to whether, it is
(08:31):
okay or not, to have a good lifeand want a good life as a Christian.
And, if you are strugglingwith those types of rigid views,
I would suggest, maybe taking my courses,
which are really reasonableand really helpful.
And then also I've got a book, 300.
It's called Change My Relationship, 365
(08:52):
Daily Devotions for Christiansin Difficult Relationships.
And it helps you put Scriptureto those difficult relationships
and to avoid that rigid thinking, and alsogives you all kinds of tips and tools
that will helpyou navigate those with wisdom.
So thank you for watching this videoon Change my Relationship.
(09:14):
Thank you for listeningto Change My Relationship.
We hope you will subscribe to thesepodcasts and share them with your friends.
Karla would love to hear from you.
She welcomes ideas for a future podcast,as well as your feedback
on how the podcasts have helped your lifeand relationships.
You can email her at.
karla@changemyrelationship.com
(09:36):
For more informationon Change My Relationship and Karla
Downing's ministry, including her books,studies, devotionals, podcasts
and YouTube videosvisit changemyrelationship.com.
You're listening to an audio recordingby Change My Relationship, featuring
licensed marriage and family therapistand author Karla Downing.
These audios are designed to provide youwith practical solutions
based on biblical truthsfor all your relationships.
(00:20):
it okay to want a good lifeas a Christian?
I received this email from a womanwith just that question, she says.
I was wondering if you have insight intosome things I have been struggling with.
I think some beliefs have beeningrained in me that maybe aren't
necessarily from God or the Bible.
Sometimes I hear a messageshe means in church.
(00:42):
Then I feel guilt or condemnation.
For example, our pastorpreached on Paul's missionary journey
and how he didn't chase comfort,success, or money.
It made me wonder if it's okay
or bad to have a house,or even to have basic necessities in life.
Am I being unchristianif I have comfort or just my needs met?
(01:05):
Since sometimes Paul went withoutand he is the model Christian.
Is it bad to want my daughter to bewell taken care of?
I feel so hurt and confusedand at war with these things.
I think it has pushed me away from God.
Yes, God does not want you to be confused.
He does not want you to be guilt ridden.
(01:25):
He does not want you to give your life up
or to give your financesor resources under compulsion.
It is a choiceyou give from a cheerful heart.
But some of those views are rigidand not necessarily biblical.
First of all,the Apostle Paul was talking about
(01:47):
he was called to be a missionary.
That was his calling from God.
He did not tell in any of his letters,to the letters to the churches
that everyone had to be a missionary,as he was.
He did not tell themthat they had to give everything up.
In fact, the early Christians tried that,and when they put all of their things
(02:11):
together and they gave everything up,and they all took from one common,
bowl of of their moneyand their resources, they ended up
very poor in the churches in Jerusalem,because when you put everything
into a mutual fund, people
stop having an incentive to work.
(02:31):
They have a desire.
If we all have a desire to work,
but to to have fruitfrom the rewards of our labor.
So when you have, peoplethat are giving everything
up, theysome people get really, really lazy
and they don't givethey don't take care of themselves.
So basically, also Paul said,
(02:55):
in 1 Corinthians 7:25-40that he was not called to be married.
He chose to stay single.
But he said, that doesn't meanthat you have to.
For those of you that stay single,you will find that your heart
will not be divided betweenserving your spouse and serving the Lord.
But if you do need to marryor want to marry, it's okay.
There's no reason to look at oneand say that this is wrong.
(03:20):
So you can feel comfortablethat if you want to have a family,
you want to have a home,you want to have children.
Scripture is fine with that.
Also, Paul talked to rich peopleand he told them to be generous.
And he said, you can share with otherswhat you have.
But he did not condemn themfor being rich.
(03:43):
He did not condemn them from for gaining,resources and assets.
And he did not tell themthat they were wrong
or that they had to give it all.
So these are misunderstandingsthat are rigid,
that cause you to feel confused,cause you to feel guilty,
cause you to feel like you likeGod is condemning you.
And and the sad part is, is this womansaid as it pulls you away from God,
(04:06):
not towards God.
It's likely that she, like many of youand myself, grew up in a rigid home
that was very black and whiteand dysfunctional,
or possibly a very rigid, judgmental,kind of church where when you hear things
like this, your first response is to say,oh, I have to be like that.
I'm wrong for being the way I am.
(04:28):
Is it wrong to want her daughterto have good things?
Absolutely not.
What parent does not want their childto have good things?
What parent does not want their childto be well provided for?
Jesus even said thatlike when do you, as a parent,
give your kid, a fishwhen your child is is acting asking?
(04:49):
I believe it was a fish asking for bread.
Like no, you give your childwhat your child is wanting.
So no, it is not.
It is not wrongto want to have a good life.
It is wrong to be wealthy
and to have all kinds of resourcesand not to give.
But there is no requirement in Scriptureto give all of it or most of it.
(05:13):
That is between your conscience with God.
Ecclesiastes tells us that it is God.
Literally.
At the end of that book, Solomon said,
okay, I've learned as I've exploredall of these things, including pleasure,
and I find that, pleasure in and enjoyingwhat God has blessed us with.
(05:34):
What we have gained fromthe work of our hands is okay.
But I know that in the endthat my relationship with God and serving
God is what matters mostat the end of my life and for eternity.
But it is not wrong to be happy
and to enjoy what you have worked foror what God has blessed you with.
(05:56):
That's what it saysall the way through it. Out.
Ecclesiastes.
So also and 1 Thessalonians 4:11-12,
Paul tells us, make it your ambitionto lead a quiet life.
You should mind your own business and workwith your hands, just as we told you,
so that your daily lifemay win the respect of outsiders,
(06:19):
and so thatyou will not be dependent on anybody.
So you are to first provide for yourself,your own needs and your family's needs,
not to expect other peopleto provide for you.
And in order to do that,in order to work, in order to have a job,
you have to be living a life where you aredoing that, where you're working
and taking care of your family,where you have a family also.
(06:42):
Ecclesiastes 7:16-18 says, do not be overrighteous, neither be over wise.
Why destroy yourself? Do not be overwicked.
Do not be a fool.Why die before your time?
It is good to graspthe one and let go of the other.
Whoever fearsGod will, will avoid all extremes.
So basically, to say we don't have to goto this black and white thinking
(07:05):
we don't have to go all or nothing.
I either give up everythingand don't have anything or,
I'm living this lifewhere, I'm not serving God.
No, there are plenty of in-betweens.
You there's no way that missionariesand organizations that are doing
the work of God would surviveif they didn't have people
(07:26):
that were working to providefinancially for them to do that work.
Also, first Timothy 6:17-19 says,
commandthose who are rich in this present world
not to be arrogant,nor to put their hope and wealth
which is so uncertain,but to put their hope in God,
who richly provides uswith everything for our enjoyment.
(07:50):
Wow, you're.
It's okay to enjoy what God has given you.
Command them to do good,to be rich in good deeds,
and to be generous and willing to share.
In this waythey will lay it for themselves.
Treasureas a firm foundation for the coming age,
so that they may take hold of the lifethat is truly life.
(08:10):
But again, no condemnation of being rich
and no telling themthat you have to give up everything first.
2 Corinthians 9:7says that God loves a cheerful giver,
and then he wants us to give out a choice,not compulsion.
So I hope that that gave you a little bitbetter insight as to whether, it is
(08:31):
okay or not, to have a good lifeand want a good life as a Christian.
And, if you are strugglingwith those types of rigid views,
I would suggest, maybe taking my courses,
which are really reasonableand really helpful.
And then also I've got a book, 300.
It's called Change My Relationship, 365
(08:52):
Daily Devotions for Christiansin Difficult Relationships.
And it helps you put Scriptureto those difficult relationships
and to avoid that rigid thinking, and alsogives you all kinds of tips and tools
that will helpyou navigate those with wisdom.
So thank you for watching this videoon Change my Relationship.
(09:14):
Thank you for listeningto Change My Relationship.
We hope you will subscribe to thesepodcasts and share them with your friends.
Karla would love to hear from you.
She welcomes ideas for a future podcast,as well as your feedback
on how the podcasts have helped your lifeand relationships.
You can email her at.
karla@changemyrelationship.com
(09:36):
For more informationon Change My Relationship and Karla
Downing's ministry, including her books,studies, devotionals, podcasts
and YouTube videosvisit changemyrelationship.com.
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